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Art of Spousing is for marriages that what to move from being mundane to becoming masterpiece relationships. Hosts James and Lisa Duvall share truths and lessons learned from their 30 years of marriage and over a decade of teaching, coaching, and speaking on marriage.
Podcast: Art Of Spousing
Episode Title: Greg & Julie Gorman: Tools For Couplepreneurs
Host(s): James, Lisa
Guest(s): Julie, Greg
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Julie (Guest) | 00:00:00 to 00:00:23
Yesterday's business practice and the roles even that we played, they need to be reassessed. And so it's a process that a couple can go through, hold some really meaningful conversations, begin with the end of mind is how we start the whole series, and then we end it with being able to safeguard those margins.
Hey. Welcome to the Art Espousing Podcast. Thanks for taking the time to listen.
James (Host) | 00:00:23 to 00:00:44
Today we're excited about the of content that we want to share with you because we believe it's going to be helpful to your marriage practice. Yeah. If you're new to the show, we want you to know that the reason we do this podcast is because we believe that every marriage can move from the mundane to a masterpiece level. But we personally know that a work of art doesn't just appear. It requires intent and practice to be crafted and shaped.
Lisa (Host) | 00:00:44 to 00:01:06
So our goal with every episode is to give you tools to practice that will help your relationship not just survive, but thrive. This week is a big week in the Duvall home. We're taking our youngest daughter to college. It's kind of a surreal thought to think that our kids are all going to be out of the house. I don't know what it's going to be like, but I'm excited to experience this new experience and with you, Mr.
James (Host) | 00:01:06 to 00:01:30
Duvall, it's going to be fun. Yeah, but we're excited for her, and we're also excited for the new adventure, so that's going to be fun. But today we have our very good friends Greg and Julie Gorman on the podcast with us. And if you've been listening to the show over the last three seasons, you know that Greg and Julie are regulars on the podcast. They are amazing and always bring such rich insight and wisdom to marriages in a actually very fun loving way.
Lisa (Host) | 00:01:30 to 00:01:44
They do always. So it's a real treat to have them back with us. But before we go there, we want to make sure that you know about the Marriage Reboot retreat. This is a two day intensive with James and I, where we focus on defining the purpose and vision for your marriage. Yeah.
James (Host) | 00:01:44 to 00:02:19
Our process is designed to bring clarity and breakthroughs to every aspect of your marriage, from personal growth to your relationship with your spouse, family, career, faith, finances. We even talk about health and lifestyle. Together, we'll craft plans for each aspect, creating a solid framework that will help you manage and continually renew your marriage in the future. So during this private, intensive two day experience, you and your spouse will have our undivided tension. As your dedicated marriage coaches, we'll guide you through a journey of reflection, helping you identify where you've been, define where you are now, and discover where you want to go.
Lisa (Host) | 00:02:19 to 00:02:47
Together, we know that the Marriage Reboot will make a huge difference in your relationship. We'd love for you to find out more information about it by going to our website@artistspousing.com, marriagecoaching. You can also message us on Instagram and we'd love to send you a link to schedule a 30 minutes video call with Lisa and I to hear more about your marriage and tell you more about the retreat. Now let's jump into our conversation with the Gormans. Well, Greg and Julie, it is awesome to have you on the podcast again.
James (Host) | 00:02:47 to 00:03:00
I think this is the third time you've been on the Art Espousing podcast. It's not your last. It's not your last. Always a pleasure to have. You guys are such dear friends and we love everything that's happening with Mary for a purpose and just being a part of ourselves.
James (Host) | 00:03:00 to 00:03:15
You guys have had a busy summer, right? You guys just got back from Africa, so tell us a little bit about what you did in Zimbabwe and what's going on there. Oh, man, thanks so much for asking about that. We had such an amazing time. We spent almost three weeks in Africa.
Greg (Guest) | 00:03:15 to 00:03:34
We worked with a very large megachurch out there. We spoke initially to 200 leaders just about marriage and family. That was the first night. Then after that, we ended up training 15 new couples to become coaches over in Africa, which is launching Married for a Purpose marriage reboots. That's awesome over there.
Greg (Guest) | 00:03:34 to 00:03:50
Let's see, sunday morning we spoke to just over 3500 people and then towards the end of the trip, we did a marriage conference and I think we. Had 1000 couples there. Yeah, 1000 couples present for that. So a couple of thousand people in. All and they are hungry.
Julie (Guest) | 00:03:50 to 00:04:07
It was so powerful watching the live transformation. As you guys know, who we are is just who we are. We are authentic. And with that, I think that it was really appealing to them and their culture. I can't tell you how many times we had people come up to us and just say thank you for your transparency, for your vulnerability.
Julie (Guest) | 00:04:07 to 00:04:30
They found hope they could actually be used. The amount of ministry that took place. We talked about the numbers of the people and sometimes that sounds great, but I think that the real testimony is in just what Julie was talking about. The amount of people that came and talked about that they had heard thing and were exposed to ideas that encouraged them in ways that they had never heard before. And a lot of challenges around culture.
Greg (Guest) | 00:04:30 to 00:04:51
Go figure, right? Because truthfully, the African culture has some unique challenges compared to maybe what we have here in the States. But the thing that we kept bringing them back to is, first of all, everywhere we go, people are people, no matter where we're at in the world. And so we all have challenges and we all have cultural challenges. So we can choose, all of us, really, to defend our culture or we can choose to defend God's culture.
James (Host) | 00:04:51 to 00:05:21
Well, I think one of the things that is so true about you guys, and you just said that's. What I think the people in Africa resonate with is your authenticity and your true desire to see marriages restored and see health and families. It's just amazing what the doors that God is opening up for Married for a Purpose, and it's exciting from this seat to kind of watch it unfold and how God's using you. The two of you have been working together for a very long time. It would be probably great for all those listening to know we talk about Married for Purpose.
Lisa (Host) | 00:05:21 to 00:05:55
We love reboot what we get to do a part of y'all's ministry, but I think it may be great to expand and maybe give a little bit of history of your working relationship in the secular, not just the sacred space. So I'd love to hear about that and then maybe kind of sandwiched in there, maybe some great things that you've found working together that have been just really benefits of coming together, whether it was secular or sacred space. I love working with Greg. I always tell him, like, I make a great vice president, he makes a great president. And I don't think I would have the voice that I have if I weren't married to him.
Julie (Guest) | 00:05:55 to 00:06:19
He provides me the room to be able to express all of my gifts, and I feel so safe with him to be able to do that that I actually express more ideas than what maybe I would if I would be in a different environment. So I'm thankful for that part. But we've been working together, gosh, our entire marriage, two and a half decades now. I started to say we started out working not directly together, but in the same organization. Just a few seats down from one, I suppose.
Julie (Guest) | 00:06:19 to 00:06:32
Yep. Two and a half decades in, we're still going. So we started out actually, like we said, working for the same organization. MCI y'all remember friends and family phone service. Greg was a manager and I was.
Greg (Guest) | 00:06:32 to 00:06:56
A trainer there, so we worked there for several years together and enjoyed our time. But it was a good breakaway when we finally did get away from it. And then we went into life and health insurance, and we had a great run in life and health insurance. It was really difficult getting started, but after we got our legs underneath of us, we got promoted a couple of times and ended up taking the last place branch in the entire nation and taking it to number one within just a couple of years. Wow.
Greg (Guest) | 00:06:56 to 00:07:20
So, yeah, it was a good, successful run. Then God called us away from that, and I think initially we struggled because we didn't know exactly to what, but I would say that we've owned several other businesses in between there and here, and so we've just always worked together. We've always worked together. There was a short period of time for maybe what do you think, babe? A couple of years, maybe, if that.
Julie (Guest) | 00:07:20 to 00:07:46
Yeah, because even when I was doing full time ministry, greg was right. There a key part of maybe it wouldn't be seen readily on the surface, but, man, we've always just did everything together. So even in that season, we may not have had official roles in a business or something along that line, but like you said, Lisa, we did life together. Yeah. So, Gray, what would you say is like, a benefit byproduct of working together?
Lisa (Host) | 00:07:46 to 00:08:21
That's been a reward. I love that Julie and I share the same passions, and in the early years, I did not do a great job, really, of bringing her in on decisions. It was one of the things we talk about in the couplepreneur. We talk about establishing roles and who wears which hat and who's in charge of what and who does what needs to be done within the organization. There were a lot of years, I think, where if I was in charge of a particular area and that was my area of expertise or whatever, then I just made all the decisions and I forgot to ask Julie about her thoughts.
Greg (Guest) | 00:08:21 to 00:09:07
And even though she may not be the final decision maker, I have loved in this last decade or so, really being intentional about bringing her in before I've made up my mind about things, in other words, so that I don't steamroll her because, well, we're going to do it this way. Which, as I said, well, and you. Heard the testimony on the backside of it, that Greg gives me full space to operate in all of my gifts, and he includes me now in all of those decisions. And so one of the things but I think Julie is so strong in areas that I am not at this stage in the game, we're not tempted by competing with one another about those sort of just she lets me be me and I let her be her, and it just really works. We fire on all eight that way, and then we try to get volunteers or hire out the things where both of us are terrible.
Greg (Guest) | 00:09:07 to 00:09:40
I think the biggest thing is just that she's got so many strengths in areas that I just would not have a clue. We both say frequently there's no way we'd be doing what we're doing if we weren't doing it together, because it's just a combo deal. Yeah. I find that for James and I, too, of thinking about us working together in ministry life is that it provided opportunity for us to learn each other's strengths and weaknesses and fill in the gaps. And so, one, it obviously benefits what organization we're working for, but it actually benefits us and how we work together in our marriage.
Lisa (Host) | 00:09:40 to 00:09:57
Dynamic family, dynamic kids is that we learn to actually leverage those very same strengths that we learned in organization in our family. The Duvall domain that we call. Yes. I was going to add to it that the family dynamic in our parenting, and we make no bones. We've had issues over the years.
Greg (Guest) | 00:09:57 to 00:10:18
If there's been an area that would get us sideways, it was because Greg was always misbehaving. I'm good at that. But it is in parenting. And as we again have learned how to switch roles and yield to one another and communicate with respect and all these different things, then again, it's just spilled over into the family. And that's really what got us into doing the ministry we do.
James (Host) | 00:10:18 to 00:10:39
It's amazing. So as you started working together a couple of decades ago, were there any specific challenges that you had faced as far as working together? And what were some things that you did overcome some of those challenges? That's a funny question. Dude, I'm just telling you because there was way more than we've got time on one podcast.
Greg (Guest) | 00:10:39 to 00:11:00
There were a lot of challenges. I don't know how you would respond to that. But I think one of the toughest things really was it kind of manifested itself in a couple of ways. One was people pinning us against one another to try to get us to compete against one another, which was not a healthy dynamic at all. And I think the other thing was it's just that we both have always admired one another's strengths.
Greg (Guest) | 00:11:00 to 00:11:25
And so I'll put it to you this way. There was a time when I thought, Julie's so sweet and everybody just loves her and they're so warm towards her, and they're just not that way with me, and I'm not that guy. But I thought maybe I'd try that on a little. Well, no, dude, it just comes off as weird. And then I tried to be Greg, and one of our unit managers one time says, oh, poor Julie, she must really be under a lot of stress because I was trying to be commanding like Greg.
Julie (Guest) | 00:11:25 to 00:11:37
It just didn't work. I think one of the cutest things about you sometimes is when you try to use one of Greg's euphemisms and you get it wrong. I just tried not to do that anymore.
Julie (Guest) | 00:11:39 to 00:12:11
I think one of the biggest struggles is that we didn't know when to turn it off. When you're working with somebody 24/7 if they're 18 hours work days and all you're doing is sleeping, work can just become life. And so I think one of the struggles that we still to this day have to really make sure that we're managing our margin, because if not, work overtakes every conversation becomes about work. We're always solving issues or problems or dreaming about the business. And though that's important, the ministry is extremely important.
Julie (Guest) | 00:12:11 to 00:12:47
We can't do that to the neglect of one another. And so after being together twenty four, seven all the time, discovering one another is a little bit more work, actually, than maybe it was even in the beginning. Well, there's no question that the opportunity for a couple that works together, whether they are couplepreneurs, meaning that they are together in the same business, running the same organization, things of that nature, or whether they just work together in the same organization, maybe they minister together as an example. Man it is, and we hear it all the time, and it's super consistent. And again, just for the record, after two and a half decades, it's still a massive challenge for us.
Greg (Guest) | 00:12:47 to 00:13:33
We were talking about it on the way here to studio about the key questions that we ask ourselves to begin to tweeze out, really setting the boundaries and protecting our time for rest and replenishment and connection and fun. And so often with couples that work together, that is the one thing, that combination of things there, if you will, that really gets sacrificed because we're passionate about what we do and we love doing what we do, but man one of the quotes that we use is that any task expands into the amount of time allotted. And if we don't set hard, firm boundaries and then protect those carve out the time for connection and fun, it just won't happen. Yeah, I think that's the same for any couple, though, too, whether they're working together or not. I think that's fair.
James (Host) | 00:13:33 to 00:14:17
I think there's a dynamic that whether you're leading the organization together or like for us, working in the same organization together, I think one of the challenges we have to overcome is that it doesn't consume all our conversation, because it's easy for us to live in both of our roles in the same organization. And then we come home from work debrief about the same people, same thing, so forth, and it can become all consuming. And there are times that we're like, well, what are we going to talk about? Because we're not talking about work. And I think we've had to become okay, that we may just sit with each other, that we may not know what we're going to talk about, because if it's not about work or if it's not about kids, and it feels a little forced to go, what are you dreaming about?
Lisa (Host) | 00:14:17 to 00:14:36
What are we going to dream about? That isn't necessarily what we want to do with our time at that moment, but I think learning to find those things that we talk about and so that it doesn't become all consuming, yeah. It'S easy to do. Hey, we have a really great tool. They're conversation starters, so they're fun and flirty.
Julie (Guest) | 00:14:36 to 00:14:45
So if you want, we can make that accessible to all your listeners. That'd be awesome. We'll put it in the show notes. We went on vacation one time. We're sitting at the table doing exactly what you talked about.
Julie (Guest) | 00:14:45 to 00:15:01
Lisa we're like, well, we're just kind of looking at each other and we're out on this beautiful beach and had nothing to talk about except for work. And it was like you want to talk about our conversation starters? We pulled it out within, like, I'd say, 60 seconds. We were baja laughing. The table next to us kept kind of looking over.
Julie (Guest) | 00:15:01 to 00:15:19
I said, hey, do you guys want some really great conversation starters? Great. I didn't let them know that they were our conversation starters until they were snickering and laughing through them, too. So we have some fun and flirty ones. That's great because you can get so consumed by the business or by serving together or whatever that it does, it drains your conversation.
James (Host) | 00:15:19 to 00:15:26
So having a tool like that is. Really great, dude, it's helped us tremendously. I'm not kidding. Good. They're good when you pull them up.
Greg (Guest) | 00:15:26 to 00:15:38
When they're your own. Yeah, well, we just got in the. Space, though, and got quiet, and we took some time. We didn't do this in a day. And we enlisted other people to help us come up with some good conversation starters because it's so easy to get caught in a rut.
Greg (Guest) | 00:15:38 to 00:15:56
But it is a great tool, and we highly recommend it. Again, we literally use them ourself and we wrote them. When you're working together and you are at a crossroads on a decision, things are starting to amp up, their emotions in charge. Maybe you're even tired along with this. What would you recommend on how to navigate that?
Lisa (Host) | 00:15:56 to 00:16:13
And maybe it's at the end of your workday, 430 and you're about to transition to not working, but you haven't made a decision. It's just tense. How do you navigate that? Well, there's a couple of things I know. Julie, I want you to handle the meat of this, but there's just a couple of things in preface that I want to say.
Greg (Guest) | 00:16:13 to 00:16:26
First of all, know yourself because you mentioned a couple of things. Like, it's the end of the day, maybe you're tired. All of these different qualifiers. We have really made it a discipline, and it is a discipline. Right?
Greg (Guest) | 00:16:26 to 00:17:01
But we just don't make decisions when we are in that condition unless we absolutely have to. And if we absolutely have to, then we will. But we have protocols that we go to for that, and I'll let Julie respond with that. Yeah, I think it's really important for a couple, no matter what kind of situation they're in, to discern together the number one thing that they both desire, what do they both agree that they want? And the more that they can begin to isolate the things that they agree on versus the things that they disagree on, the decision really is made by the desired outcome.
Julie (Guest) | 00:17:02 to 00:17:21
So if we have a decision around parenting or we have a decision around finances or in the business, it's like, okay, what's our why? What's our what? And beginning to really isolate those singular statements of, okay, this is what we want, this is why we want it. And then we just kind of look at it and we ask ourselves. Does this move us towards that?
Julie (Guest) | 00:17:21 to 00:17:52
Does this move us away from that? I think it's so important for a couple though to instead of digging their heels in trying to assert their point or why they think the thing that they think if they can come to that agreement of this is what's important. This is why it's important. One of the other things then too, Greg and I never hold one another hostage. And what I mean by that is once we make a decision, I may not be in full agreement or he may not be in full agreement, but the moment that we make the decision, it's our decision collective and we never come back to this place.
Julie (Guest) | 00:17:52 to 00:18:20
It's almost like we just choose to never even think about any differences that were there prior to the decision because once the decision is there then it's a unified and we pull in that direction and we never look at one another and say I told you we shouldn't or I told you we should have. Well, there's nothing to be gained from it and if it's okay can I piggy off of what you just said, love. So first of all, one, where is those kind of comments going to take us? They are never going to take us anyplace that we want to go. It's not like you're going to win that battle, know what I'm saying?
Julie (Guest) | 00:18:20 to 00:18:37
It's just going to cause I tried it didn't work. Well, I did too. But I think initially one really fight for unity above all things. Fight for unity above all things. Because anything that's causing disunity is probably not worth the disunity.
Greg (Guest) | 00:18:37 to 00:18:54
That doesn't mean that it's easy. I'm not trying to rainbow and butterfly this, okay? It's not that this takes work and this is the real world. But if we determine that we are going to fight for unity, then this is a tool that we use. Just not even within this particular context but in all contexts.
Greg (Guest) | 00:18:54 to 00:19:15
This applies to communication. Most of us really are terrible listeners. If we really get down to it, as soon as someone starts talking, we start thinking about how we're going to respond or we're going to reply to that and we really caution people against that. Especially when you feel your emotions begin trigger a little bit and you got to catch this early otherwise it gets all squirrely and you can't get control of it. And you know what I mean?
James (Host) | 00:19:15 to 00:19:44
It goes south too fast. But if you can recognize when your emotions begin to kick in and as Julie, you kind of brushed this a little bit but I wanted to put an exclamation point on it. Listen for understanding number one and listen for what you agree with. Most of the time we're sitting here picking out all the things that our spouse or whoever it is that we're in confrontation with is saying that we disagree with and what we want to do is the exact opposite of that. And think, because there's only one way to build, you can only build on common ground.
Greg (Guest) | 00:19:44 to 00:19:57
The Bible tells us flat out, the house divided won't stand. Yet when we get at these impasses, that's exactly what we do, is we dig our heels in. We just create a wider and wider chasm. Rather than thinking, what do I agree with? How is the other person?
Greg (Guest) | 00:19:57 to 00:20:18
Right? And then establishing, okay, let's talk about what we do want. Right. And even if you have to take it up on a high level to the simple things, then you can begin to pull it down into a little bit more of the specifics. And most of the things that you end up differing on become much, much smaller and easier to come to an agreement about or agree to disagree so that you can move forward.
Julie (Guest) | 00:20:18 to 00:20:34
And we also remind each other, no decision is urgent. Sometimes it feels like we have to make a decision in order to close out the days. But sometimes I'll just look at Greg and say, we're at an impasse, and I really want to have a fun night. So let's table that and let's come back to it tomorrow morning when it's possible. For sure, when it's possible.
Julie (Guest) | 00:20:34 to 00:20:52
So if you can give your mind that reprieve, let's sleep on it. Let's have a fresh perspective, because I want to be able to give you what you need right now. And that's the other part. We talk about listening for, understanding. The other is reminding our mind that our spouse is not our enemy, they're our battle buddy.
Julie (Guest) | 00:20:52 to 00:21:04
And so when I can have that perspective, a lot of times we're able to come to a quicker decision because we're in it together. Why fight, right? We went pretty deep down a rabbit hole on that. Great question. Yeah, it just came to me.
Lisa (Host) | 00:21:04 to 00:21:25
And it reminds me, and we've talked about this in other episodes or another episode. Maybe it was season one, but it was Ken Sand's book Peacemaker. I have that book so highlighted up, dog geared all over the place. But there's a tool in there that I actually process through my head on the high level things that really don't matter, but it goes down. It takes a little bit more work when it gets down.
Lisa (Host) | 00:21:25 to 00:21:39
Nitty gritty, but it's what you're saying, and I think it's worth reminding. There's three words. There's the problem, there's the position, and then there's the interest. The problem is James leaves the toilet lit up. I don't anymore.
Julie (Guest) | 00:21:39 to 00:21:48
You don't. My position is he should put it down. His position is you should put it down. But our mutual interest is coming together. It's that common ground.
Lisa (Host) | 00:21:49 to 00:22:09
But if we speak to the problem or our position, we will get nowhere all day long. Right? But if we come down to the common ground, the mutual interest and so often when I'm talking to married couples in conflict. I'm like, as long as you keep giving your position or talking about this problem, you're just not going to go anywhere. And that's what you're saying.
Lisa (Host) | 00:22:09 to 00:22:35
But it helps me sort, because sometimes our language goes to the problem. And again, the toilet lid is a very good example because it's so benign, it doesn't really matter. It did then, because you get one big butt baptism in the night, and you'll be like, please, somebody, for the love of Pete, put the lid down. But it's a great example because if we stay and circle that wagon, it just doesn't go anywhere. And that's what you're saying, is it's just this common interest, common ground?
Lisa (Host) | 00:22:35 to 00:22:51
Yeah. Love it. Well, you guys have created a lot of different pieces of curriculum. You've written books, but one of the things you've created is a study for couplepreneurs. And I'd love for you just to talk a little bit about that resource and what will couples go through if they go through that resource a little bit?
Julie (Guest) | 00:22:51 to 00:23:05
Yeah, I love the resource. We recently went back through it and said, oh, that's good. Oh, we need to look at that. But it's how to work and play well together. And so it's talking about a lot of the things that we talked about even earlier of margin, what's your why?
Julie (Guest) | 00:23:05 to 00:23:38
Having the appropriate roles and being able to define those roles, playing to one another's strengths. So there's just a lot of maybe basics and yet then maybe some things that are more particular to the couple that are working together 24 hours a day, seven days a week and knowing when to turn that off. And how to be able to have no work zones, how to have conversations like, I'm saying this as your manager or I'm saying this as your spouse and being able to shift those roles and shift those hats a little bit more readily. What would you love? We've really received a lot of raving reviews on this particular work.
Greg (Guest) | 00:23:38 to 00:24:09
So what we did is we really just kind of pulled away for a little while and started really isolating the things that we had learned in a couple and a half decades of working together and tweezed out what we think are really the things that people run into all the time that we hear consistently. We've been coaching couples for a minute now, so we hear these things over and over again. And so we took what was common to us. We took what was common to other people that had asked us questions, and we wrote a video curriculum. And so the couplepreneur actually is it's a video series.
Greg (Guest) | 00:24:10 to 00:24:21
The videos are usually, what, six to ten minutes or so? They're pretty short. They're pretty short because they're designed really for today's busy couple, right? Couplepreneur, for crying out loud. So you can actually sit down and go through one of these things.
Greg (Guest) | 00:24:21 to 00:24:38
And then we created. A workbook that has a series of questions after that that are very well thought out. I don't mean to sound self serving, but listen, we take this very seriously. The last thing we want is to hit you with some loaded question that's going to cause an argument in your living room. These are not those kind of questions.
Greg (Guest) | 00:24:38 to 00:25:19
They are very forward thinking, moving you together in unison, but at the same time very real world and dealing with the things that you're actually dealing with when you're working together in the same. Workplace and give you the language to maybe have some of the conversations, like even a simple question of what ideas do you have around this topic? Rather than putting in this is my idea and being very forceful around it, being able to have the conversations with your spouse. One of the things that we recently looked at that I loved is like when you know you can't stop, you need to determine what you need to drop. And I'm like, oh boy, I think we're there again, there might be some things that because yesterday's business practice and the roles even that we played, they need to be reassessed.
Julie (Guest) | 00:25:19 to 00:26:04
And so it's a process that a couple can go through, hold some really meaningful conversations, begin with the end of Mind is how we start the whole series and then we end it with being able to safeguard those margins like we talked about earlier. I think it's important to mention that again, this is done in such a way that it's just as practical for a couple. You could go through this if you're not working in the same workplace but you're living in the same living space and caring for kids and managing budgets and all of the things that is the business of the home. And I guarantee if you go through it, it's going to give you some really key talking points and allow you to create some processes and protocols for moving forward in unison, in unity and learning how to do that. And like Julie said, have some conversations maybe that you don't even know that you need to have.
James (Host) | 00:26:04 to 00:26:19
That's awesome. Very productive. That's awesome. One of the things the tools that Married for a Purpose offers, and I think it's apropos for couples working together is the marriage reboot. We promote this every week on our podcast since the founders are here.
James (Host) | 00:26:19 to 00:26:44
How would a marriage reboot help a couple that is working together or serving the same organization together or relates to this idea of couplepreneur? I honestly would say it's mandatory for the time and the treasure that it will cost you. What you will gain is tremendous unity and breakthrough. And I'll let Julie talk specifically. I know how I want to respond to some of the specifics, but I'll let her lead out with that.
Julie (Guest) | 00:26:44 to 00:27:22
I just love the reboot process because it's holistic, but it's family, it's faith, it's career. Calling it's extended relationships. And so when you have a two day concentrated time with people as brilliant as the two of you, by the way, there cannot be anything but breakthrough. And I think so often we rob ourselves of the opportunity to have thought space and so we share all the time that the reboot really is the process, the couple is the content. And then you guys as facilitators help to draw out the things that man, we just don't give ourselves that time to be able to isolate the things that may be off kilter.
Julie (Guest) | 00:27:22 to 00:27:50
It begins to be able to help couples know really what they want for their life and their marriage. And if we don't know what our vision is, we're sure to miss it. Right? And so this process is a powerful way to not just come together in your business, but with your family, in your faith, and live in a place where you get to define your future, in a sense. And then operate from a place of we know exactly where we're at, we know exactly where we're going, and we know why we're going there.
Julie (Guest) | 00:27:50 to 00:28:13
One of the real things I think that comes out of the reboot retreat is a process of knowing when to say yes and when to say no. And so if we don't have that time set aside and if any couple right now is listening and they have any area that they're struggling and the reboot process would be able to address. That, here's what I'm going to tell you. Life moves at such a speed right now. It's so easy for life to get out of focus.
James (Host) | 00:28:13 to 00:28:33
Yeah. And we plan business retreats. We have business strategy meetings sometimes on a weekly basis in organizations. We do a lot of planning in a lot of different areas. And really this just designed to give a couple two days where the world stops spinning long enough for them to focus specifically on their marriage.
Greg (Guest) | 00:28:33 to 00:29:05
And like Julie said, in every single aspect, it's very holistic. We're going to talk about your intimacy, or at least we're going to give you the opportunity to talk about it and to begin to build protocols really discern in the proper atmosphere. Like, what is it that we really want? For our communication, for our intimacy, for our finances, for our future, for extended family relationships, for our faith, on and on. And they're very well thought out, very well tested constructs.
Greg (Guest) | 00:29:06 to 00:29:30
And it's two days for them to go through this and just focus on one another. And I would just challenge everybody to seriously consider doing it because what you stand to gain from going through this process is tremendous. Everybody, and I don't care if it's a good to great couple or if it's somebody with their tippy toes over the edge going, I think we're done. We've seen massive breakthroughs for all walks of life. That's awesome.
James (Host) | 00:29:30 to 00:29:48
That's awesome. Yeah. We have written out our vision because we've gone through that the reboot process too. And we actually at times when we feel like we're getting a little bit sideways, we just go, you know what, in the morning we're going to read our vision statement around finances. We're going to read our vision statement around communication because it really is a declaration of going, this is how we're going to live out today.
Julie (Guest) | 00:29:49 to 00:30:01
Amen. And so when you forget, when you go, oh, we invested that time. We've already made the decision where we want to go and so we're going to live into this. So it does help me not just shop on Amazon. Can anybody say amen?
Lisa (Host) | 00:30:01 to 00:30:11
I think I shop more. That's right. So we love it. We have seen good to great couples find nuggets of like, oh, snap, I didn't know we needed to work through that. Right?
Lisa (Host) | 00:30:11 to 00:30:24
And so, yeah, anybody? It would be great. So thank you so much. Thank y'all for being here with us today. We want to leave this podcast episode with just a tool or a tip from Greg and Julie Gorman.
Lisa (Host) | 00:30:24 to 00:30:42
It can be one tip or I would think that both of y'all are going to have a tip. So if someone was listening today and it could be about anything, it doesn't have to be about couplepreneur, but if they applied this one thing in their relationship today, leaving this episode, it would make their marriage stronger. I got it already. So I get to lead out. Live it on.
Julie (Guest) | 00:30:42 to 00:31:05
You can go next. Yeah. So I'm at a season now where I'm being tyrannical about not listening to the accuser of the brethren. We read scripture where he's the father of lies and the accuser of the brethren, but I didn't realize how much whether I wasn't expressing it out or not, there were times where I was just like, oh, well, I can't believe they and this plays over in our marriage relationship. So I'm being tyrannical to do this.
Julie (Guest) | 00:31:05 to 00:31:24
I'm asking God every single day, god, who do you say I am? God, who do you say Greg is? And then, Lord, what do you have to say about this circumstance? And that singular practice every single day helps to get my mind in the right place because never once does God come back and say anything bad about my husband. Right.
Julie (Guest) | 00:31:24 to 00:31:31
He speaks life over him. And so I think it's a great best practice. If you can love it, that's good. Clearly there's things we need to talk about.
Julie (Guest) | 00:31:33 to 00:31:51
Oh, Lord, who do you say? Greg. No, I think other than what we've already covered, the first thing that comes to mind really is I think it's really important for us to pause sometimes and just look at our spouse like they're a human. I'll get choked up thinking about it again. Life moves so fast.
Greg (Guest) | 00:31:51 to 00:32:18
We've got our agendas and so often our spouse is an obligation or a barrier to something we're trying to convince everybody of or them of what we want. And it does my soul good just to truly every now and then just look at Julie. Not like she's my spouse, not like she's my wife, not like she's my ball and chain. You know what I'm saying? Clearly we do have some things to talk about.
James (Host) | 00:32:18 to 00:32:55
I don't know what that means at all. Yeah, I'm tracking, but really just understanding that sometimes when she's off her square and she's not everything maybe that I think she should be or that she thinks she should be, for that matter, to realize that she's the human being who's having struggles that has a lot of different things on her mind. And even though sometimes it may impose on my space or my feelings or whatever, it's probably not because she's trying to hurt me or do something bad. It's because she's a human and she probably needs encouragement in that moment rather than for me to kick her while I'm down. After all, she's the one person I vowed to at least do.
Greg (Guest) | 00:32:55 to 00:33:08
That so good. That's awesome. You guys are amazing. And we could have you guys on every week and get nuggets of rich wisdom on marriage from you guys. So thank you for continuing to come back and be with us and thank you for your friendship.
James (Host) | 00:33:08 to 00:33:15
Really appreciate having you guys on the podcast. Anytime. Gosh, we love those people. You know what? They're my Southern friends.
Lisa (Host) | 00:33:15 to 00:33:29
I feel at home with them. There's a kindred spirit there. There is. We would love to encourage you to go to Marriedforpurpose.com and check out all their resources. Also, I know they are always looking for people who are passionate about helping marriages thrive.
Lisa (Host) | 00:33:29 to 00:33:44
You can find out more about being a certified coach on their website. We would love to hear from you and your thoughts and answer any questions you have about what we shared today. You can email us at hello at art. Espousing or you always can direct message us on Instagram at art espousing. Yeah.
James (Host) | 00:33:44 to 00:34:00
Thanks again for listening. If you found this episode helpful, please let your friends know by sharing it with them. You can also help other people find the podcast by rating the podcast and leaving us a review. Next week we'll be talking about communication and how to avoid misunderstandings in your relationship. This is going to be a very.
James (Host) | 00:34:01 to 00:34:10
Important episode because that never happens to us. Zero to 30 years. We always have misunderstandings. It's normal. You may have had one while we were recording this podcast.
Lisa (Host) | 00:34:10 to 00:34:20
Actually, we did have one. Yeah. So we hope you'll join us for that. Have a great week and we'll see you next time on the Artist Bowsing podcast. Until then, bye.