The Meat Mafia Podcast

How does one trust oneself? Is chaos necessary for change? How does one find inner freedom? Are you destroying yourself? Ebben Britton joins us today to help answer these. 

Eben Britton is a former NFL player who played for six years in the league, totaling 15 years of football experience. After retiring from the NFL, Eben embarked on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, delving into matters of the heart, human psychology, and the pursuit of true freedom. He has been involved in various podcasts since 2015, using the medium as a powerful tool for self-reflection and sharing his insights with others.

Key topics discussed:
  • The role of intuition in decision-making
  • The importance of developing a strong gut instinct through clean living and self-care
  • The process of breaking free from societal expectations and the fear of pursuing one's true calling
  • The significance of allowing oneself to feel and process emotions, rather than suppressing them, to achieve personal freedom and avoid mental health issues
Timestamps:

(00:00) Navigating Inner Clarity and Authenticity
(09:19) Fascination With Success and Intuition
(26:54) Finding Self-Love and Acceptance
(31:44) Exploring Inner Healing and Liberation
(44:58) Letting Go of Ego for Success


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Creators & Guests

Host
Brett Ender 🥩⚡️
The food system is corrupt and trying to poison us... I will teach you how to fight back. Co-Host of @themeatmafiapod 🥩
Host
Harry Gray 🥩⚡️
Leading the Red Meat Renaissance 🥩 ⚡️| Co-Host of @themeatmafiapod

What is The Meat Mafia Podcast?

The Meat Mafia Podcast is hosted by @MeatMafiaBrett and @MeatMafiaHarry with the mission of addressing fundamental problems in our food and healthcare system. Our concerns with our healthcare system can be drawn back to issues in our food system as far back as soil health. Our principles are simple: eat real foods, buy locally, and cook your own meals.

When you listen to our podcast, you will hear stories and conversations from people working on the fringes of the food and healthcare system to address the major crises overshadowing modern society: how do we become healthy again?

themeatmafiapodcast.substack.com

Part 1 Eb
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[00:00:00] If we don't start a podcast like that every single time, I don't know what we're doing. How are you supposed to have a bad conversation after that? You can't, dude. I think that's the most important thing I've got to say today. Should we just end? Let's go. We're done. Good job, guys. Good job. I always think about with breath work.

Like how there are these certain things that you can bake into your day that make you feel amazing. I feel like prayer and breath work are some of those things where I'm not as consistent as I want to be. And I'm like, if you just dedicated five minutes a day to do this, how much better would you? We get so caught up in the mind noise, you know?

We get so caught up in the stories that we're telling ourselves about what's going on in our lives and how things gotta be and what we have to do and it's just non stop. And if you just take two minutes, just breathe, let go of everything, empty your mind. All of a sudden you have so much clarity, you have so much space.

When you think [00:01:00] about your mind, this, this model, this image has come to me a few times lately when you think about your mind and for a large, for many of us, for, for a large amount of our lives. Our mind feels like this fucking crowded room. There's too many things in the room. We're hoarders. We're hoarding thoughts, memories, ideas, dreams, all sorts of things, visions.

There's no space in the room, but through breath work, through meditation, through prayer, You create this space and then one day you find yourself and your mind is this infinite galaxy And all this stuff in it is just the pinpricks of light from the stars You know and you have you have space You have space to navigate it.

You have space to get clarity on who you are and what you're supposed to be doing here and um That's been a big thing for me in [00:02:00] my life and it allows me to listen All of this stuff, you know, we were talking about Brett earlier, like, what are we gonna talk about today? , you had a great list of notes. Um, let's do that too.

Uh, but something that is big for me and where I'm at in my life currently is learning how to listen, learning how to listen to whatever you wanna call it, my heart, my spirit, the still small voice within. That is that guiding light. Because all of us come into these moments in our lives where there's something really big in front of us, some big desire or some big opportunity or, you know, some big idea about how we got to, how we got to act and be and what we've got to do.

And we get so [00:03:00] caught up in doing it. Right. Or making the right move and. Hey mom, what do you think about this situation? Hey dad, do you think this is right? And no one knows better than you. No one knows better than you, like if you guys, you guys coming out of your corporate, the corporate world that both of you found yourselves in, that I was in, in the NFL, as corporate as it gets, dude, you know, people don't realize that as corporate of a, of a trip as you could go on.

You go to anybody around you and say, you know what, dude, I'm thinking about starting a fucking. A whole revolution called the Meat Mafia and starting a protein powder company that has beef organs in it. People would be like, are you insane? Are you sure, dude, you sure? And what does that do? That fills you with some doubt that fills you with second guessing.

Inevitably you guys came upon [00:04:00] those people and those people were around you. They thought I was insane. Yeah, totally. Right. And, and there was nothing there but you and your truth. And how often are we just overriding that belief to go, you know what, I got to do what Uncle Joe said, you know, Uncle Joe's words of you're nuts.

You got a sure thing here. Keep going down that path. You'll get the house and the picket fence and the family and the two, two and a half kids, et cetera, et cetera. Um, And you're like, no, dude, can't do that. Nothing in me is taking me in that direction. It's like on your, on your notes, dude, you had this thing.

It's like the societal view can't be a father to a child in LA living in Wimberley, Texas. Yes. And that one hit [00:05:00] me, hit me in the chest because I'm going through that thing right now. of navigating this big life transition that many people looking at it from the outside would go, the fuck is wrong with you?

You know? And part of that is society wants us to fit into a box. Society doesn't want us to believe that we can live the life of our dreams. And be accountable to the people in our lives. And so, you know, for anybody listening, uh, uh, I made this decision to essentially move to Wimberley, Texas and make that my home base.

And meanwhile, I have an ex wife and a 12 year old daughter in Los Angeles still, and it's a challenge. It's not [00:06:00] easy, nothing easy about it, but I've made this commitment to following my spirit, which has been saying it's time to get out of LA for a number of years now. And mostly about getting into space, getting out into the country, getting out into peace, really starting to settle into peace and tranquility and openness in my life.

And um, making this commitment to myself and this inner calling And then also making this commitment to my daughter and being her father and showing up with, with her and for her. And so I travel back and forth really frequently between Austin and L. A. And nothing easy about it. If I wasn't in the place that I'm in currently, which is taking my life moment by moment, one thing at a time, I don't think I could [00:07:00] handle it.

the amount of transition, because it feels like the only constant is the change in the transition right now. It's like, I'm constantly in motion, but I take the moments and the space when I get it to be still and quiet so that I have that capacity to endure whatever it is that's in front of me. And, you know, time will tell obviously how successful I am in this endeavor.

Uh, that being said, it seems to be, we seem to be making our way through it in miraculous fashion. You know, just, just taking it one day at a time, making these commitments, honoring the commitments and, uh,

choosing to live the life that I feel called to live [00:08:00] while Staying accountable to a person who needs me to be accountable to them, you know? Yeah. Um, and that's in anything, man, you know? Uh, I was talking to my, my, uh, my group mentorship on my group mentorship call yesterday. And, you know, it's really about what do you believe is true?

What do you believe is possible in your life? You know, and you can start with the idea of limiting beliefs and you can think about What are the the ideas you hold as truths that inhibit you from? making the big leap You know quitting the job and starting your dream project Uh and many of us and society, this is a culturally A culturally diffused [00:09:00] philosophy of keep it safe, keep it easy, keep it comfortable, do the right thing.

Uh, don't get too big. Don't get too, don't, don't be too successful with whatever it is that you're doing, how you're living your life. Don't be too, you know, don't shine too bright, man. You know, the, the world doesn't want that society doesn't want that. Um, and yet we have this real fascination with celebrities and pro athletes and these superstar personas, because they appear to be this individual, this avatar, who's achieved something that many of us look at as being impossible.

They followed something. They followed their truth. They followed their belief in themselves to the top of this mountain. And [00:10:00] many of us grew up thinking that we couldn't possibly do that, or at least somewhere along the way, we stopped believing that we could, you know, cause when you're a kid, man, you're dreaming, you're, you're shooting for the stars, you know, and whatever, when does that thing happen?

Where you stop believing in yourself, you stop believing that because who cares? It's not about what the dream is. Even it's just about you having the belief in yourself to take the leap of faith into the unknown, to do the thing that you feel called to do. And that happens every day, you know? Um, anyway, feels like a good place to be.

Good place to start. Great place to start. You mentioned your only time will tell whether the decision was successful. I'm curious, how, how are you measuring success with these [00:11:00] transitions? I think that success for me is that we continue to move through it mindfully

Compassionately, which allows for a direct, a constant contact with where we're at here and now that allows for there not to be the complete falling apart, you know, and When you're praying for change and you're praying to, to, for change to happen in your life, things will inevitably start to fall apart, you know, um, and that can be really heavy and drastic or that can be very gentle.

And my belief is when you keep [00:12:00] constant contact on the emotional atmosphere of a situation, so you're saying, how are we doing here? How are we doing? You doing okay? You getting what you need? You feel stable? You feel secure? You feel safe? Okay. We need to take another step forward. You know, little by little.

And, uh, you know, Change is hard. Change is really hard. I think as kids we experience immense amounts of change because we're It's, it's really the, the only time, if even this is the moment in our lives where we're victim to circumstances that are far beyond our control because your parents are doing things that you don't really have a decision about.

Um, but you know, my daughter is an incredible kid, you know, who's got, who's a leader and expresses herself and, [00:13:00] um,

You know, continues to have a smile on her face while I know she's struggling, but she's able to express that, you know? Um, so the success would be one day at a time. We're able to find gratitude and a baseline of

availability. And that things are expressed as they come up before there's a big, drastic issue, you know? Yeah, totally. Um, I went through a big move when I was a kid. My mom moved my brother and I from New York to LA. And that felt, that was a defining moment in my life. And as difficult as that was, you know, we made it [00:14:00] through.

You know, we made it through. And, um, so it's, it's one of those things that, you know, time will tell how it goes. And I believe that because it's all for the highest good, when you're moving in the direction of the highest good always, and you're keeping your pulse on what's here and now, as far as the emotional atmosphere of the situation, I think that you're, you're setting yourself up for success.

You're setting yourself up for moving your, yourself and your family lineage in the direction of its highest good. Yeah. You know? Totally. Um, so, if there was a measurement of success, I, I suppose that would be my vague definition of it. You know? Definitely. It's a good answer. Um, it makes me think, I, you've, you've mentioned, um, intuition a few times since we started recording.

And something I think a lot [00:15:00] about is, um, you know, it's impossible to have a good gut instinct if you have an inflamed gut. And I know you, what the three of us have in common is I think, you know, doing things of clean foods, meditation, prayer, etc. It almost allows your body to channel this amazing intuition that for whatever reason God has blessed humans with this.

And so, When you don't have that gut instinct, you're more likely to be, be fearful and stay in that corporate job or stay in LA, even though it kind of makes you miserable and you feel like you're decaying every day. And then you develop that intuition and it gives you this amazing confidence to be like, look, I know I'm a dad.

I have this amazing daughter that lives in LA, but I'm going to find a way to make it work. And it's interesting to feel that contrast versus. Other people's expectations where they hear something like that and they're like dude. There's no way that you can do that Well, they don't know your daughter.

They don't know you they don't know your relationship They don't know how often you're gonna see her and they also don't know about the amazing Serendipity that could [00:16:00] happen from you doing this and also what's the worst case that happens you learn quickly that it might not be a Fit you go back to LA where you've been your whole life.

Like uh huh the way people put their own perceptions on you When they don't have that intuition and that instinct that you developed is always interesting to me. How many people are So many people, ourselves included to some extent at various points in our lives, are just

We're, we're not clear enough, we're not brave enough, we don't have the courage to follow that intuitive sense, that inner guide. And it's never going to be easy, dude, to follow God's plan, God's path for you. It's never going to be easy. And a big, 100%, a big part of the process for me has been purifying the physical vessel so that I can [00:17:00] receive, be the antenna of the universe that I was designed to be, you know, and be able to have that clear connection with source, with God, with the universe that is guiding me on the path of my destiny, of my highest good.

And at this conference this weekend, the what good shall I do conference regenerative conference, um, by force of nature. really spectacular second time being a part of it. And, um, so many great speakers, not only about incredible, the, the incredible renaissance of biodynamic farming or regenerative agriculture and looking at the earth and farming as Being a [00:18:00] steward of this ecosystem is a really powerful thing.

It's a powerful philosophy. But looking at the entirety of our life as this holistic experience and how the food that you consume has a direct effect on your mental, emotional, physical wellbeing, and how much water you're drinking and all the toxins that we're exposed to and the EMF and all of this stuff and how necessary it is at this stage in the game for humans to.

have purifying practices, whatever it is, every day, you got to sweat. You got to drink plenty of water. You got to eat clean nutrient dense foods, right? I think that's like a big part of your guy's ethos is spreading that message. Right. And that's always been huge for me. And it's been massively important in my life as far as getting clean and [00:19:00] clear enough to hear.

To be able to listen to those, those nudges, that inner voice, um, and, you know, it, it's part of the deal at this stage in our development, in our, in this stage in human evolution, in the evolution of our consciousness, for us to purify ourselves. In various capacities. I think many people feel that, that urge coming up.

Um, and there's a lot of people who are totally resistant to that idea and, and you're caught, there's a lot of distractions. There's a lot of veils of illusion that we get sucked into making the money and building a career. Like people who are making a lot of money doing a career or they've built a business and they're [00:20:00] making a lot of money or they're doing something in that, in any field really, because even in the wellness space you can get.

You can get that myopic view of you've got something going. The train is on the tracks. It's not stopping. You can't stop it. You're making money. You're really successful. Then why would you look at these other aspects of your life? That's a big place that people get hung up on. It's like, we're making money.

I'm now the, the facilitator of this This organism that I created that I'm now a slave to essentially, because I can't not keep it going this job. Right. And so your whole life focus becomes about making money and perpetuating this thing. And so you're not going to be thinking about how am I developing as a human being?

Am I getting [00:21:00] stuck? You know, when does the, the passion start to feel like a grind? Or for me in my own life, like how many things have I done in my life where I believed the thing to be the answer to everything I was looking for, my football career, doing a podcast, being a director of wellness for a company.

Doing the yoga teaching, anything, just about anything and everything I've ever done started as this is it, dude, this is it. I'm here. I made it, you know, only to find myself somewhere down the line, having achieved the dream or had success in one way or another going, man, that's funny. There's still that hole there.

At least. I recognize [00:22:00] now that this thing that I'm doing isn't fulfilling, making me whole, giving me that contentment that I thought it would because I figured I had arrived coming into this job, coming into this persona, this identity. Um, and so keeping yourself nimble and flexible in that way to constantly be.

turning the focus back on yourself so that you can continue in your study of yourself, your own in continuing in the development of yourself, which is essentially reading this incredible book right now called oneness. And it's all about these concepts that we're talking about. The planet right now is The frequency of the planet is getting higher.

The vibration is quickening of the planet and all of us are feeling it physiologically in our [00:23:00] body and our bodies are doing a lot of things to adapt to the new frequency, which manifest as things that we think are ailments or diseases or uncomfortable But really, it's your body adapting to the new frequency.

And what a lot of that has to do with is you purifying this physical vessel. A lot of it is about the purification. Um, and so Through that purification, and through, you know, any interaction that we have, we're on this path of ascension, right? But the ascension is actually just about getting free. It's about getting free of our attachments to things.

The things that are emotional triggers. The things that, the relationships that you have, the people that you come into contact with in your day to day life, who, [00:24:00] Do the things that trigger you and cause some sort of emotional intensity inside of you and can, can literally make you come undone. I'm, I can think of a handful and I'm going through a handful of situations currently that past Ebb would have been totally undone by, but through the process of getting myself free.

Of my need to be right, my need to prove myself, my need to go to battle. That's a big one. It's always been a big one. We love to go to battle, dude. We love to fight. You know, for some idea that we believe to be so true. But the more you get free, you have less of an attachment to that. And so the emotional charge of the situ of the trigger is much, is depleted.

It's, it's quieted down. Through repetition, you know, more and more practice that we [00:25:00] have engaging with other people, relationships are, are a huge, huge part of the, the journey, you know, of getting clear and clean and seeing who you are. Mm. Um.

I had a point, but you know, it's just this, uh, it's a constant practice, dude, you know, and it's a constant, um,

it takes constant attention. And for a lot of people, you get hung up in various places in your life and you say, I'm good here. And so how do you keep yourself fluid moving and not getting stuck? Because the stuck is the death. The rigidity is the death. You say, no, I'm good here. Far enough gone far enough.

And so all of these things, these controlling ideas about like what we're supposed to do with our time and how [00:26:00] we're supposed to be, that's when you start to. You know, not allow people to live and be free because it's too much for you. You've, you're, you're still a, you're still straight jacketed by your own beliefs and ideas about what's right and what is.

So well said. Um, curious for you, is there a point that you can think of in your own life where you felt most distant from yourself in terms of that alignment that you're talking about now that you've created for yourself? And, Uh, the freedom that you're talking about and what did that process look like to go from you really being out of alignment with who you are and then getting to the point where you're feeling more aligned.

Yeah, I think towards the end of my football career, I was just completely lost. You know, I mean, my appendix ruptured. Your body's gonna give you the messages, you know, stop in [00:27:00] many ways. It's at this, we're gonna die. You know, um, and that, that billowed out probably two years after my football career where I just hit complete rock bottom and couldn't stand what I saw in the mirror anymore.

You know, all the, all the escape valves were no longer working. The alcohol, the weed, the two and a half hours in the gym, the porn, like nothing was bringing me any relief anymore. And something had to change. I was looking at myself in the mirror going, I'm going to either kill myself or I'm going to get clean.

I'm going to change how I'm living. I'm going to change how I. my entire existence, like how I'm operating, cause this isn't working for me anymore. And that rock, that rock bottom can be a complete blessing. It was a blessing for me. Like I feel so grateful that I hit [00:28:00] complete rock bottom at 29, 30 years old, you know, which was so stark that uh, it was change or die, literally.

Um, and I, you know, had a complete breakdown and found myself in an Al Anon meeting, which is 12 steps for families of alcoholics. And uh, in Al Anon we say, I didn't have a drinking disease, I had a thinking disease, you know. And that was the, that was the beginning of. Whatever this is now, which is essentially deep, deep allowance of self feeling, allowing myself to feel, allowing myself to be a human being.

How many feelings do we have [00:29:00] in a day that we disallow that we say, you shouldn't feel angry, dude? I'm too. I'm too spiritually evolved. I'm too. Whatever. XYZ to be angry. I shouldn't be sad. Who are you to be sad, dude? That voice that adds resistance to the already tangible emotional sensation that's arising and just allowing whatever is there to be there.

Whatever is there to come up and just move through you. Without holding on to the idea that it should be different because that's what it is. Really. That's that resistance You know and just allowing the things to be how they are Allowing the feelings to come up

You know, I spent a lot of time in my life being told that it should be different or thinking that it should be different or [00:30:00] believing it was wrong or I'm wrong. I should be better. I need to be better. You need to be in better shape. You need to be smarter. You need to be more successful. You need to do this better.

You're wrong. You know, and that colored a lot of how I live, that colored how I existed as a human being. And through the process of 12 step and therapy and really incredible mentors and plant medicine and yoga, breath work, meditation. I've cultivated a really, really deep self love and self acceptance.

And for me, that's, that's where the freedom happens. That's where that freedom occurs. Because Inevitably, we're going to come into those [00:31:00] confrontations in business and in personal relationships where we're being confronted by someone or something, an idea, a situation that makes us, takes us back to that little seven year old boy who's got to do it right, who's scared, who's got to keep himself safe, who's got to be right.

And not hurt anybody or make mom proud or whatever it might be. And how long are you going to hold on to that? You know, how long are you going to hold on to that idea that you're wrong or that you've got to be better and how long is it going to take before you go? You know what? I'm a human being too.

I'm a human being who has ideas and desires and [00:32:00] boundaries and

is allowed to feel, you know? I mean, cause at the end of the day, dude, that's what all the, the fucking gurus, the, the monks, the, the ultimate spiritual beings that have lived on this planet. That's what they're here teaching us is like, dude, there's nothing special about That's what it is. Enlightenment, enlightenment is allowing what is, and that gives you this immense capacity to endure discomfort, adversity, because there's nothing but what's in front of you.

There's no added weight or burden of your own resistance to it. You know, does that make sense? It does. It does. Yeah. And I really, um. I appreciate the analogy you used earlier for the way, especially [00:33:00] men, it's like you, you're taught to suppress certain emotions and feelings too. And I think everyone that's listening to this knows what emotions keep coming back to them.

I think, you know, fear is something the last two years that I've had to deal a lot with. And I was like, Oh, if I just like. Look at my mind, and I just jam it into this box in the corner. If I just jam it in there, it's just gonna go away. In my analogy, I'm imagining like a box that you literally can't close.

Like you're trying to push so hard, but it won't close. Versus like just attacking it head on. Like, wait, let me actually take a couple minutes. Like, why am I fearful? Like, what are the fears that I have? And then, like, writing them out on a piece of paper. And then doing, like, a little bit of fear setting.

Like, okay, well, if the worst thing occurred, here's what I would do to solve it. And then you go through that exercise, and you're like, Oh, I actually don't need to be as fearful as I think. And if those things happen, I have a solution. Versus just, like, suppressing it. Whether it's, like, fear, anger, jealousy.

All these negative human emotions. But you never address the root cause of why you feel those things in the [00:34:00] first place. And I've just accepted that, you know, We're human and we're just also naturally sinful, and for whatever reason we do have those feelings that we don't like, but you still have to process it, though.

What you resist persists, you know? Um, It just grows inside of you, and then it becomes a fuckin ism, essentially, you know? It becomes a disorder, like a literal, it'll become schizophrenia, it'll become an ism. anxiety, panic disorder, it'll become depression because you're resisting this thing that's calling out for attention.

You know, it's like, yeah, Hey, Oh shit, man. I feel scared as fuck. Wow. You just feel that you just allow that to be there. You don't try to do anything with it, you know, and then you can get clarity and then you can actually go through an exercise and you go, you know what, what's actually going on here. X, [00:35:00] Y, and Z is happening.

That's generating this sensation of fear inside of me. Oh, but if X and Z, if X, Y, and Z occur, then I can do this. There's also these other pathways. There's other options. There's other opportunities. Oh, I don't even have anything to be afraid of, you know? And, um, the processing happens when we just allow ourselves to feel it.

And. Um, I think an important thing, Brett, because

there's, there's a, a definite,

there's a definite line of feeling it. And you're, that doesn't mean that you're going around blowing up on people, right? Actually, the allowing yourself to feel it. That [00:36:00] is the thing that keeps you from blowing up on people, you know, it's the thing that keeps you from having the nervous breakdown, you know, when you're just trying to stuff it all in the corner and go, I'm fine, I'm good.

It's all good. It's all butterflies and rainbows and champagne flutes, you know. And then one day you just snap because somebody put the pencil in the wrong holder. You know what I mean? Yes. Like the tiny thing happens and you just explode on somebody. That's because you've resisted the feelings for so long.

You've resisted yourself. It's like, dude, little Eb needs to be seen here. Little Brett, little Harry needs to be heard. You know? This situation took you right back to when you were seven years old. I always use seven 'cause it feels like that was, you know, big life. Traumas happened at seven for me.

Parents got divorced, shit was really chaotic and fucked up [00:37:00] and so all, a lot of my operating mechanisms were born around the time of seven and for many of us. It's around that time, somewhere between like six and nine, there's something occurs in your life. That's this defining experience that all of your operating mechanisms are born.

The seedlings are planted and born during that moment because we're so open, you know, you come out of your mother's womb and you're just this droplet of awareness. Not even yet. You're barely conscious, you know, and you're starting to, you know, from that age to six to nine, you're making your Your matrix is being developed.

Your matrix of perception is being developed through those years about, Oh, these [00:38:00] people, this is how we operate. Oh, this is what it means to be in a relationship. There's a lot of yelling and then there's like some making up, but things get swept under the rug and then, you know, at the dinner table, uh, you know, mom didn't pour the thing, right.

So dad threw the plate of spaghetti against the wall or whatever the thing is, you know, I don't think that ever happened to me, but you get the idea, you know, um, and so healing the inner child. It's a really important thing. That's kind of, you know, all of this stuff is interesting. You know, we live in an age of, uh, Industrializing wellness and industrializing spirituality and at the end of the day it's like how are you going to live a successful life as a human being and it's to reconcile all the shit inside of you that hangs you up, that you get hung up on, that really [00:39:00] inhibits you from being the divine expression of spirit that you were born to be.

You know, because you came into this world, man, all of us know there was a moment in your childhood and you can do this exercise. You can take yourself back to that moment before the thing happened that changed you, that made you start to second guess yourself. And there's something, there's some mapping, there's some psychological mapping that's still in here.

From that little person that you were who knew exactly what you were here to do. You know, I remember when I was a little kid, I just knew there was something big for me. I knew there was this divine intelligence that was guiding my life that had shit under control that I was a part of this ecosystem and I had a big job to do, you know?[00:40:00]

And, Um, that took on the, the, that took on the, the vision of playing pro football and that became this vehicle, played my ass off, worked my ass off and achieved that dream. And then in the grand scheme of things, you know, that dream had a, had a, had an end point. It really did. I mean, for all of us. I mean.

I played six years in the NFL, 15 years in football. Um, but when you come into it with the egocentric belief that this is the end all be all, this is who I am and what I am and what I'm here to do. Then when it comes to an end and you inevitably find yourself broken down and looking up going, what happened?

Wait, I thought, but the movie isn't over yet. [00:41:00] You know? There's more to do, but what's next? Who am I? Holy shit. I don't even know what I like. I don't know who I am. I don't know what my interests are. And you have to start that process of tuning in going, you know what? I'm a lot more than just a football player.

Okay. Yeah. There's a lot more here for me. What am I interested in? I'm really interested in matters of the heart. I'm really interested in Human psychology, how we behave, how we operate, what are the root causes of all these operating mechanisms that we, these behaviors that we live out and play out in our day to day lives and the directions that these things take us in.

And how can I get myself free? I want to be free. I want to be free. That feeling inside that achy, heavy feeling inside when I feel like somebody is going to be mad at me, Because I didn't do the right [00:42:00] thing. I want to be free of that feeling. I want to be totally liberated to follow my instincts, to follow my truth, to trust my heart, trust that wherever my heart takes me, it's for the highest good of my, of me and everyone in my life, you know, and being free of this idea that the people pleasing, we all do that, dude.

Fuck. How much time do we spend? Like Does mom and dad think I'm doing a good job? It's a big part of the process, this individuation, individuating yourself, becoming a sovereign being that's free of any, anyone else's input. You know, we can lean on other people. We can be supported by other people. We can get guidance from other people.

And sometimes that, that's necessary, but at the end of the day, for you to get where you're going, you have to trust what's happening inside of you. No one else,[00:43:00]

you know, going back to the moving to Texas thing, I was talking to my mom on the drive here and that old voice wanted to ask my mom, mom, am I doing the right thing? And the moment the thought came up, it was totally dissolved in. She doesn't have any better answer than you. You know? What does she know that you don't know about this?

How does it feel to me? How does it feel in my body? When you guys started your company, how does it feel in your body? Fuck what Uncle Joe or Whoever it was that said you couldn't do it or it didn't make any sense. Fuck what they thought How does it feel in your body or anybody around you is going like dude, this is fucking genius How does it feel in your body?

Do you trust it? Do you go i'm on the path? Because that's the only thing that matters it's the only [00:44:00] thing that matters dude, do you believe it do you know it In your bones that you're on the right path, that you're doing the thing that you're meant to do. And the things that were meant to do change the transition.

You know, you set up one thing. Maybe it comes to, it does what it's supposed to do. The message gets delivered and then you got to move on to the next thing, you know, not getting too attached, not getting too attached to yesterday. Not getting too attached to the identity that you built up around yourself through, you know, doing a podcast or teaching yoga or, you know, podcasting is a great one because it's been a very, uh, powerful tool for me in getting clean and clear.

I've been doing it since like 2015. I've been a part of a number of podcasts And for a long time, getting on [00:45:00] the mic, there was this voice inside that said, Ebb, you gotta show them, man. You gotta show them how much you know. You gotta show them, like, you've got the information. You're somebody who people should listen to.

And, little by little, I'd be like, dude, stop. Go. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Go ahead. You can sit down. I got this. I can get on because anytime I tried to get on the mic and prove something or say something, it'd sound like shit. Be like, God, dude, what the fuck is this asshole? You know, but when I just got on the mic and let whatever was supposed to come through, Come through.

It's like, that's the goal, dude. Get out of the way. Get the fucking ego out of the way and just be present. Be present and available. And if you take that to your life, man, magic happens. Because you're just this vessel for God to move through you. You know? And that's [00:46:00] beyond any idea that we have about what we're supposed to do or what it's supposed to look like and you just keep showing up Clear and available to the moment You give exactly what's needed.