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This episode was brought to you by Penney OpCo LLC.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Spencer (00:02.793)
and welcome to pop pop pop pop popcorn and plot holes. Welcome back to my show. Who is this? Who is this? Dad? God?
Luciano (00:08.133)
Jesus.
Matt (00:08.198)
Hey, no, no, no, hey, enough. This is too much excitement. It's the 80s. Tone it down. This is too much cocaine. Yes, it's your father, real Matt. Don't make me rip your throat out. I'm taking back my show. Get the fuck out of here.
Chris (00:14.218)
He's back.
Luciano (00:15.109)
Who?
Spencer (00:23.401)
Oh. Oh my god. No! I had it! It was in the palm of my hands!
Matt (00:29.542)
You forgot how the show works, the structure. You just skipped along.
Luciano (00:32.101)
I mean, Spencer just used in this one intro the whole of the energy that Matt's gonna use for the rest of the episode. So I think we're good.
Matt (00:40.454)
That's the rest of the energy for the year. That's all.
Luciano (00:43.141)
Hahaha!
Chris (00:43.37)
You know?
Spencer (00:45.065)
All right, Matt's going to take back over. You guys can turn off the podcast now.
Matt (00:48.678)
Wow.
Chris (00:48.874)
I know it.
Luciano (00:49.189)
Wow, you know you're still in this, right?
Spencer (00:52.969)
Just kidding. Good to have you back, Mademus.
Matt (00:54.31)
Just kidding. Yay, I'm back. Joining me, first time, last time, Spencer.
Luciano (01:01.061)
That's not ominous. That's not ominous.
Spencer (01:01.705)
Oh, I'm also fired?
Matt (01:04.486)
No, no, no, no. It's just a thing you say. It's a colloquialism. It's fine.
Chris (01:05.61)
With the clickness.
Spencer (01:08.361)
It's just a saying the kids say.
Matt (01:10.63)
Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Luciano.
Luciano (01:12.645)
Yeah, I hope it's not my last time too.
Matt (01:15.75)
man, Chris.
Spencer (01:16.457)
Watch yourself.
Luciano (01:17.989)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:18.666)
You're tipping me off this podcast. I'm going to start another one using WhatsApp voice messages alone. And Luciano is going to be my co -host.
Matt (01:23.462)
Wow.
Luciano (01:25.221)
I will, no, I was gonna say that's the one I won't listen to ever.
Chris (01:29.418)
That's the one you will listen to, bitch! Anyway.
Matt (01:31.974)
Um, and with me, the new, old, and future replacement for Spencer Luciano on Chris...other Matt.
Spencer (01:39.977)
Matt squared Matt squared
Luciano (01:41.925)
Oh, I see. It's map -o -tism. It's map -o -tism.
Chris (01:42.058)
Hello, hello. I mean, Matt, yeah, there you go. I mean, I haven't even decided, I'm technically not even here on my own volition. I'm against, it's against my will here. I just kind of showed up with cake and Chris was like, come on in.
Matt (01:45.382)
It is... Yeah. You get it.
Luciano (01:57.797)
With cake.
Matt (02:00.678)
Wait, you showed up, but Chris kidnapped you in his own home?
Spencer (02:00.873)
We - we -
Chris (02:05.482)
Yes. Yes. I locked the doors.
Luciano (02:06.501)
Yeah.
Spencer (02:09.513)
You weren't supposed to say that, Matt Squared. We had a deal.
Matt (02:10.886)
Oh.
Chris (02:11.53)
That's right.
Luciano (02:13.253)
I locked the doors from the inside. Matt doesn't know how to operate keys.
Spencer (02:17.641)
Say goodbye to your puppy.
Chris (02:18.89)
Well, you know. Put the cake in the basket. What? Wait, I'm confused. Was I just not allowed to tell you guys that I was eating cake? Because I mean. Yeah, I mean, it is a lot and it's an issue, but I'm you know, I'm trying sugar living my life. But hey.
Matt (02:18.95)
Ha ha.
Spencer (02:22.889)
Boop.
Luciano (02:26.565)
Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah.
Matt (02:27.334)
That's the problem. Yeah, the cake was the issue.
Matt (02:35.174)
Good for you. Diabetes is a real threat, so watch out.
Spencer (02:37.001)
What? What? What? What?
Luciano (02:38.693)
Diabeus!
Chris (02:40.874)
I'm gonna go.
Matt (02:42.406)
Let's talk about the movie we watch. We watch Roadhouse.
Luciano (02:46.405)
What the fuck is this?
Matt (02:47.526)
of the Jake Jill - no, not the Jake Jill - the Jeff Healy vehicle.
Chris (02:49.866)
Sure, not again. Yeah, there we go.
Luciano (02:49.957)
Yeah, the Canadian legend Jeff Healy, yes.
Spencer (02:53.321)
Woo!
Matt (02:57.126)
Do we have Luciano? I don't think a lot of people know about Spencer knows nothing about Canadian hero Jeff Healy Luciano, can you give us a Jeff Healy fact to help Spencer learn educate this man?
Spencer (03:01.353)
I don't. I know he's a guitar player.
Luciano (03:09.253)
Of course! Did you know that in 2011 Woodford Park in Toronto was renamed Jeff Healy Park in his honor?
Spencer (03:09.801)
I need to learn.
Spencer (03:20.969)
Healy fact!
Chris (03:22.602)
Sure.
Luciano (03:22.661)
Nice.
Matt (03:26.406)
We can brand that. So we watched Roadhouse from 1989, the original, with original Dalton, Patrick Swayze. I'm pretty sure none of the other characters existed between the two movies.
Spencer (03:36.457)
other actors.
Chris (03:37.29)
Other
Luciano (03:37.829)
The closest one is the doctor who's named Elizabeth here and Ali in the other one, but that's it.
Spencer (03:42.217)
is different.
Matt (03:43.48)
Yeah. Yeah, which is basically short for Elizabeth if you want it to be. Don't worry about it. So yeah, we watched Roadhouse in 1989. We want to compare the two. We figured it was a good way to look at a classic movie that was redone for a contemporary audience. And we also decided to do it backwards because fuck you, that's why. Let's talk about this movie. We like to be positive. We like to talk about good things about this movie. What was your favorite thing about Roadhouse from 1989?
Luciano (03:48.101)
Yes.
Luciano (04:02.533)
Yep.
Spencer (04:04.297)
Mm -hmm, mm -hmm.
Chris (04:14.058)
First off, motherfuckers put some respect on their elders, okay? So, number one, Dalton gets the job and accepts it, and then on his way out, before he gets into his Mercedes, he tosses the keys of the previous car to who I affectionately call the hood dude. IMDB calls him the derelict, but that's not what I was ready to do, so that's number one, number two.
Matt (04:34.854)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (04:38.73)
When Dalton shows up at the farmhouse and like talking to Emmett, Emmett's asking him questions. He's like, yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, sir. With sincerity. Okay? I'm appreciating the respect for the elders. It felt like a time long gone. Yeah.
Spencer (04:47.977)
Yeah.
Spencer (04:52.489)
I like that too.
Luciano (04:54.117)
And I'm the old guy.
Matt (04:55.878)
Great power!
Spencer (04:57.257)
Yes, sir. Let's just let's just refer to a let's call Luciano, sir, because he's old. OK, sir.
Chris (04:57.322)
I'll allow that. I'll allow that. Sir. Yes, sir.
Matt (05:02.854)
Alright, that was so old, sir.
Luciano (05:03.749)
Sure.
Sure, I'll take it. I don't I never knew how respect felt so
Matt (05:08.87)
Alright, so Chris, you just like the respect. Hey, you shouldn't. It's wrong. I hate it. Chris like the respect, which is good and says some concerning things about him, but we won't dig into it too far. Spencer, why don't you redirect this thing.
Chris (05:12.266)
Well, you're going to learn today.
Spencer (05:24.265)
I really liked the dirtiness of this movie. It just felt like grimy. That all added to it. It felt like, again, we're gonna get into I'm sure comparing, but if the new Roadhouse felt like a sanitized, watered down version of this movie, this movie felt like it was rough and a real bar with real...
Luciano (05:30.021)
Hahaha!
Chris (05:30.922)
moment.
Matt (05:31.782)
like the tits and the stabby.
Chris (05:34.218)
despise despise
Luciano (05:47.653)
Yeah, I would agree.
Spencer (05:54.025)
bad dudes and I don't know it just like felt like like like it was something that you weren't supposed to watch as a kid you know yeah it just like I just like the grime it's like you don't see it anymore everything's so fucking like like produced yeah yeah and I just I really appreciated I guess the lack of production like you know like not
Chris (05:56.074)
You. That's you.
Luciano (06:00.709)
Yeah.
Chris (06:00.906)
You felt the shit getting kicked in this film. Like you really did, right? Like that's what it was.
Luciano (06:09.669)
This movie is like the 80s compressed into two hours.
Chris (06:10.218)
Thank you.
Chris (06:14.474)
Yeah.
Luciano (06:21.829)
Oh yeah, there's that too!
Spencer (06:23.049)
Like not overly produced feel. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah. I mean, I know there was production. I liked this movie a lot. So it's like, I'm not shitting on it. I mean, I really liked how, I guess real it felt for how stupid it is.
Matt (06:24.806)
Overproduction, I think, is the word you're looking for. Yeah.
Matt (06:35.686)
Yes.
Also, yes. Luciano, what do you got for me?
Luciano (06:43.141)
Oh, I, there's no doubt in my mind. Just the, the soundtrack and everything about the music in this movie is fucking amazing. Come on, dude. It's Jeff Healy and Jeff Healy doing like playing doors songs, playing Bob Dylan songs. It was great. Like just, I did something in this movie that I never do, which is, you know, sometimes, you know, they fade out into some song into the credits. I watch.
Matt (06:50.054)
I fucking knew you were gonna pick this soundtrack.
Matt (07:09.83)
You bought the cassette of the soundtrack?
Luciano (07:12.197)
I had that before, no I didn't. No, I watched the whole credits just because it was JockyD playing. I just watched it, the whole thing. I loved it. I thought I had s -
Matt (07:17.19)
Yep.
Okay.
Spencer (07:21.449)
The soundtrack has a song by Patrick Swayze singing on it, just so you know.
Matt (07:24.998)
It's true, he does, it does, yeah.
Luciano (07:25.797)
Yeah. But, um, yeah.
Chris (07:27.658)
Which one?
Spencer (07:29.257)
Didn't make the movie.
Chris (07:31.018)
It wasn't She's Like the Wind, was it? No, it didn't - that didn't fit, but okay.
Matt (07:31.27)
Mm.
Luciano (07:34.597)
No. But like I realized also, I don't think I had ever watched the whole movie. I think I saw two or three scenes of this movie back in the day and that was it.
Matt (07:44.294)
You're welcome.
Spencer (07:45.993)
I've actually, I've never seen this movie and I've seen most movies. So.
Luciano (07:50.181)
I've seen most movies, that's a bull claim.
Chris (07:51.242)
in every movie ever made.
Spencer (07:54.185)
I've seen every movie ever made except this movie, so it was nice to check it off the list. No, like this era and this type of movie is like right up my alley and I'm shocked that I've never seen it. And I was just like, yes.
Matt (07:57.382)
really helped out.
Matt (08:06.566)
I'm solving problems for all of you. I've seen this movie six times now. It's not important. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah, sure. TBS.
Luciano (08:10.149)
Hahaha!
Chris (08:11.69)
Me too. Yeah, thanks to TBS, right?
Spencer (08:16.617)
You can't watch this on TBS. I used to friend guys like you in prison.
Chris (08:18.218)
Yeah, I did.
Matt (08:22.854)
Very modern. Facebook in prison. Nice. Good job, idiot.
Chris (08:23.114)
That's what they did. Peace. Not going to show you my doors.
Luciano (08:24.261)
Yeah.
Spencer (08:28.713)
Yeah.
Matt (08:32.678)
Matt, what was your favorite part?
Chris (08:36.426)
I mean, I honestly had to suffer through the new one. So this was just like a breath of greasy air, like just right in my face. That was just so nice. Um, I have to say Sam Elliott, I mean, we, what a man, like just that, you know, good old fashioned Southern charm, you know, like you just wanted that man all the time to just talk, just sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet noise in my ear. Just like really.
Spencer (08:44.905)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:50.693)
Nice.
Spencer (08:50.889)
Oh yeah.
Hmm.
That's right.
Luciano (09:00.773)
Yeah.
Spencer (09:05.033)
Mr. Steely, ol' girl. Literally.
Chris (09:06.634)
Oh yeah, me -ho. I just go, I respect you, me -ho. That's all I needed, more of that. And that was just everything about it. Loved it, loved, loved all of it. Same thing too. Loved the greasiness, the just, the griminess and like, ah, it's just so nice.
Luciano (09:11.493)
Yeah.
Matt (09:23.462)
Matt, do you think that they killed him in the movie because he was stealing too much of the swagger of the movie from Swayze and they had to just get rid of him?
Chris (09:31.402)
Oh yeah, no, I mean, they literally probably looked at that. They had to come back and recut that definitely. Cause they looked at that and they were just like, man, I am, I'm not only filled with respect for this man, but I am fully, fully erect. And when that happens, I mean, he's gotta go, you know?
Luciano (09:37.637)
Yeah.
That man has too much power.
Spencer (09:42.761)
Yeah.
Spencer (09:50.025)
Ha ha ha.
With him and Swayze on screen it was too much BDE for one movie. Too much.
Chris (09:55.978)
Oh, too much, too much.
Matt (09:58.694)
Spencer, that dovetails into my favorite part of this movie. It's fucking Swayze. Just Swayze -ing all over this fucking film.
Luciano (10:02.117)
It's the BD.
Spencer (10:05.769)
all over the place.
Chris (10:06.474)
Oh, I like that crane style bro crane style. Yeah
Matt (10:09.51)
He had me when when he was in the hospital putting the moves on Dr. Elizabeth, I was like, take me I'm ready.
Luciano (10:17.861)
I'm Elizabeth now.
Chris (10:18.058)
Right? What? How would you describe him? Svelte? He was svelte. He was very svelte. It was beautiful.
Spencer (10:18.075)
Yeah
Matt (10:20.838)
Ha ha ha.
Spencer (10:23.465)
Say no more.
Spencer (10:28.681)
I mean, every character fell in love. Like when he was doing Tai Chi and then it cuts to the farmer and he's like, whoo. Like, he's like, like, even he was like wiping his head like, whoa.
Luciano (10:34.565)
Hahaha!
Chris (10:35.658)
Yeah, man.
Matt (10:37.158)
Yeah. Even Brad Wesley from across the fucking lake stuffed his three -wheeler like a goggle at him.
Chris (10:38.442)
I didn't know I was feeling this!
Luciano (10:42.053)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris (10:45.706)
Oh.
Spencer (10:45.929)
It's just like, oh damn, nah, it's a man.
Matt (10:48.614)
It actually brings me to my first question about this movie. So they kind of, it's a bit of a throwaway, but it comes back later at the car dealership. But like Jeff Healy, AKA Cody, tells Patrick Swayze's character that Dr. Elizabeth used to date Brad Wesley.
Chris (10:48.842)
very much, very much understand that.
Luciano (11:08.421)
Oh, he wanted to date her and she didn't, she wasn't having any of it.
Chris (11:09.642)
That's the word.
Matt (11:12.166)
Yeah, but it's just like, how? It doesn't make any sense. Like how? Why? What? No, I know. But like, Brad Wesley? Come on, guy, you're not getting anybody, let alone -
Luciano (11:14.053)
It's random. It's so fucking random. Yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (11:20.137)
The 80s.
Spencer (11:24.585)
You're not getting who you're not getting the same girls Patrick Swayze is pulling. Okay, stay in your lane
Luciano (11:26.181)
Yeah.
Yeah. Brad, Brad Wesley couldn't get Elizabeth's uncle's ugly wife. Let's, let's be honest here. Come on.
Matt (11:29.478)
Yeah
Matt (11:36.678)
Mm, yeah.
Chris (11:37.77)
Yeah.
Spencer (11:38.186)
Oh, low blow. Yeah, too soon. I actually, yeah, I actually thought that because she said she was married before, I thought they were inferring that they were married.
Matt (11:39.878)
We'll get there. We'll get there later. Sorry. Sorry, Fred.
Luciano (11:40.773)
Low blow.
Chris (11:43.306)
on Red's ugly...
Luciano (11:45.029)
Too soon. Half of the people in this movie are dead.
Chris (11:56.042)
I thought so too, but I guess not.
Matt (11:56.102)
Yeah, but they said dating later on in the film. So.
Luciano (11:57.573)
Oh, I never made that connection. I hope that's not the case. Yeah. Well, what Cody says is, do you know who used to have or has a thing for Dr. Clay? It's Brad Wesley. But I don't understand. Because I don't think. Yeah.
Spencer (12:09.833)
Yeah, he's like the whole damn town. She's a beautiful doctor. Yeah, has had a thing for her. He's like, I'm.
Matt (12:12.838)
Have you seen her?
Chris (12:13.258)
Everyone who's ever met her.
Chris (12:21.642)
Put some respect on that MD, bro. Mighty delicious.
Matt (12:24.966)
I feel like you weren't so... it's fine.
Spencer (12:25.193)
Heheheheh
Luciano (12:25.221)
Hahaha!
That's very that's very on brand for the 80s though Yeah
Chris (12:29.226)
What? What? As we are reviewing.
Spencer (12:29.993)
Yeah.
Yeah, you sound like Wade. That girl's got way too many brains to have an ass like that. I'm like, oh my God.
Luciano (12:38.821)
That girl's got entirely, yeah, yeah. That girl's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that. Yeah.
Matt (12:41.766)
Yeah.
Chris (12:42.602)
girl got too many brains to have an ass like that.
Matt (12:45.67)
Thank you for saying it in unison, that was very helpful. Cut it out. No, no, we aren't saying this. The movie said it and we're just repeating it. It's like how you can say certain words in rap songs because the rapper is saying it, right? That's the same. Oh, really?
Luciano (12:48.357)
Hahaha!
Spencer (12:48.905)
Yes. Easier to chop it out in editing.
Luciano (12:52.229)
Just cut the whole section and skip.
Spencer (12:59.913)
The movie's saying it.
Spencer (13:04.393)
I don't think you can
Luciano (13:04.485)
I don't think that that's how that works.
Chris (13:05.738)
Actually, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Luciano (13:13.861)
Hahaha!
Matt (13:17.958)
Yeah. Just checking, just asking. So the next thing I want to talk about, I think is Dalton as a cooler gets paid $500 a night, right?
Spencer (13:19.913)
That feels dirty.
Chris (13:22.058)
Ghost power!
Luciano (13:36.677)
Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Spencer (13:38.121)
Plus 5k up front.
Matt (13:39.302)
Plus 5k upfront. And so that's 1980s money, right? So, so we looked this up before the podcast started, just to understand. So $500 then was what? Luciano? $1 ,200. So if Dalton works five nights a week, which seems reasonable at the Roadhouse, then he will make more money than current day Jillinghall.
Chris (13:39.498)
What?
Luciano (13:43.813)
Yeah.
Spencer (13:45.481)
1980s US currency.
Luciano (13:54.373)
1200 now.
Luciano (14:00.901)
Yeah.
11 ,000 dollars, yes.
Spencer (14:09.385)
Yeah, what's that? What's that where you do the math? Twelve hundred times five computer engage six. Well, how much is it? No. Twelve hundred times five, that's six thousand.
Luciano (14:14.917)
I just did. I just fucking did before. It's like nine thousand dollars or something. Something.
Luciano (14:27.877)
Or that. I said I did the math, I didn't say I did it right. Plus 12K upfront to the 5 ,000.
Spencer (14:29.737)
You fuck?
6k a week plus 5k that's pretty that's pretty good plus 12 yeah that's right it was 5080s cocaine dollars
Chris (14:34.474)
there.
Luciano (14:41.669)
So Gyllenhaal was what 20 grand upfront and then 5 ,000 a week in today money? No, he said 20 ,000, but like even then it's still not enough money.
Spencer (14:48.649)
I thought it was just $5 ,000 a week.
Chris (14:50.73)
missing children?
Spencer (14:57.097)
So what you're saying is Jill and Hal's getting fucked.
Chris (14:59.402)
Peace.
Luciano (14:59.557)
Well, as we established in the last podcast, he wasn't really doing much of a job. Exactly. At least Dalton here was actually doing something.
Spencer (15:03.977)
He was a terrible bouncer. That's true. That's true. He was overpaid. You know what? You're right. Don't did it was a great like hire like he didn't just kick ass. He trained and well spent. He fixed their like all the all the criminal criminal activity going on within the staff. He cleaned that place up. He got the booze.
Chris (15:06.25)
Man, there's a lot of numbers here.
Matt (15:14.886)
That money was well worth it, I think.
Luciano (15:15.333)
Was well spent. Yeah.
Chris (15:15.434)
Yeah?
Matt (15:24.966)
It was like a 120 bucks a week or whatever, or a night. A night he was skimming off of. Fucking paying a seller right there.
Luciano (15:28.645)
150, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There you go.
Chris (15:32.298)
Yeah.
Spencer (15:34.057)
Yeah, that was just, yeah, Dalton earned, it comes down to who's the better bouncer. It's pretty fucking clear.
Luciano (15:38.693)
Also, I think this is the first movie where I've seen the guy who's Dalton's boss, that actor. I was, yeah, I was sure he was gonna be the bad guy. Yeah.
Chris (15:40.01)
Oh yeah.
Spencer (15:45.353)
not be a bad guy? Yeah, I mean too. That guy's the bad guy in so many things and I don't know what.
Chris (15:48.298)
Yeah!
Matt (15:52.23)
That explains, Kevin Teague, that explains why whenever he smiled, I was like, that's weird. I got an easy feeling.
Chris (15:52.266)
Kevin T. Yeah.
Luciano (15:55.109)
Yes.
Chris (15:57.866)
This is monad -
Luciano (15:58.181)
That sounds wrong. Yeah.
Spencer (15:58.473)
He's up to something. What's he the bad guy in? Can somebody pull that up, please? I know, right? It's like some other 80s.
Chris (16:03.626)
something with Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know it. Definitely.
Matt (16:03.718)
Chris is on.
Luciano (16:07.269)
Or Mel Gibson or one of those, yeah.
Spencer (16:10.601)
It's like he just seems like, I know he's not the villain from Robocop, but it's like that archetype.
Chris (16:14.57)
Another 48 hours, K9, as in like, Jimmy Belushi.
Luciano (16:20.805)
Oh wow. Oh yeah! Oh, that movie's awesome.
Spencer (16:21.289)
Yep.
Chris (16:24.906)
Today you die with Steven Seagal and what he looks like. He's villain in a Steven Seagal film. Yeah.
Spencer (16:25.449)
But there's something else.
Luciano (16:29.061)
Yeah, that makes sense too!
Spencer (16:30.921)
That's true, yep. I think there's one more that we're missing.
Matt (16:34.406)
We gotta go back further in time, I think, to really get them.
Chris (16:36.01)
Okay, so back in, back to either 1997. Murder she wrote. Murder she wrote.
Luciano (16:37.989)
But I was like, he shows up at whatever the bandstand is the name of the original bar where he works. And he walked in, I'm like, oh villain, villain, villain.
Spencer (16:40.457)
That's what it is.
Spencer (16:45.961)
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, I'm here. I'm here to.
Chris (16:49.738)
There's another movie from 1980. There's another one he's in from 1989 called Fat Man and Little Boy. That seems like it's right for a remake. Just from the title alone. Let's make sure that our rating doesn't teeter into dark tier levels. Perry Mason and Tales from the Crypt. Ooh.
Spencer (16:58.217)
Yeah.
Matt (17:00.006)
They did it. It's called Oppenheimer.
Spencer (17:00.553)
Batman, little boy.
Luciano (17:04.165)
He's called open. Oh my Lord. Oh, that's not nice.
Matt (17:07.27)
Yeah, the sequel is called Oppenheimer.
Spencer (17:10.633)
It's good. It's a good reference.
Matt (17:14.246)
I mean, it's true. That fat man, the little boy that David nukes, they drop on Japan. Learn your history.
Luciano (17:15.973)
Okay.
Spencer (17:17.417)
Um, yeah, exactly. Yeah. You fucks. No, but when he walked into the bar at the beginning, I totally expected to walk up and be like, I'm here to buy this establishment and I will not take no for an answer. I'll buy him too.
Luciano (17:19.813)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (17:28.197)
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Matt (17:30.662)
And I'll take that boy over there who's doing all the coolin' too.
Luciano (17:34.117)
I'll bite him too.
Chris (17:34.826)
and spill as it is.
Spencer (17:38.793)
Nah, excuse me, I have to go kick some dogs.
Luciano (17:41.957)
Well, that was that was bread Wesley. Like that scene where he's driving and singing and just going like crazy in the middle of the what the fuck was that? Yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (17:43.945)
Yeah, I know.
Spencer (17:50.089)
He's serving into oncoming traffic? What is he thinking? That would kill you too? Yeah, yeah. He has suicidal tendencies. Just making a note. No, he did that coquently.
Matt (17:55.43)
Yeah, is that a power move or just like a death wish?
Chris (18:02.186)
He didn't do that coca -de -li. He did that sober. I wonder how many coconuts he had in the back. How many what? Coconuts he had in the back.
Spencer (18:09.321)
Heheheheh
Luciano (18:09.478)
Ayyyy
Matt (18:09.542)
Chris, I gotta ask you, why do you think anything Brad Wesley did wasn't cockatly? It's the 80s.
Spencer (18:15.657)
Yeah.
Luciano (18:16.325)
Yeah.
Chris (18:17.77)
That's the level of his malevolence.
Luciano (18:19.685)
No, it was breakfast. Coke was breakfast for him. Come on.
Spencer (18:22.281)
No, no, yeah, it's coke enhanced.
Chris (18:24.298)
Okay, well that's interesting. So based on that, Cokeance, we come up with the content, y 'all. Your ears, your ears be glistening now. Cokeance, Coke -idly, driving, singing, shaboom, unfazed by Patrick Swayze's splendor and magnificence. Wow. Everyone was fazed. He was, no, no, Swayze was fazed, but Wesley was not.
Matt (18:26.534)
Cocanced, I think is the...
Luciano (18:28.389)
Cochranes, yeah.
Spencer (18:28.457)
Hehehehe
Luciano (18:33.541)
Hahaha!
Spencer (18:40.457)
Oh, oh he was phased. He was phased.
Luciano (18:40.709)
Yeah, he was very phased.
Spencer (18:48.361)
Oh, he was phased.
Luciano (18:48.869)
Well, Wesley was out of phase. That's how that's how much Coke he had on him or in him in him and on him and above him. Yeah.
Chris (18:50.218)
of things.
Damn.
Matt (18:55.59)
Let's do, can we rank the top five people from this movie in terms of cocaine usage? So Brad Wesley won, obviously.
Spencer (18:56.859)
in him on him around him.
Luciano (19:04.901)
Yeah, 100%.
Spencer (19:06.345)
I would say Jimmy's probably giving him a run for his money.
Luciano (19:08.741)
Yeah. Well, same stash, right? Probably.
Matt (19:09.062)
Yeah, what about what about um
Chris (19:13.034)
Emmett. Emmett. Emmett. Emmett's got something with his time out there.
Luciano (19:14.373)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Spencer (19:15.273)
No. Oh, you. You know who's definitely like doing more than you think more than you'd expect was Wesley's girl.
Matt (19:16.23)
Hehehehe
Luciano (19:26.213)
Oh yeah, again same stash.
Chris (19:26.282)
Oh, Denise?
Matt (19:28.134)
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (19:29.289)
Like for her body for her body weight, you're like, damn, she's she she packs it down.
Luciano (19:32.549)
Hahaha!
Chris (19:33.738)
Denise.
Matt (19:34.598)
The Coke. Um, and Morgan, the, the, yeah. Morgan, the, the first bouncer who's at the double deuce, Terry Funk, WWE legend.
Luciano (19:36.293)
Yeah.
Chris (19:36.65)
Yeah, the coat.
Spencer (19:38.345)
Yes, the coke. That's what we're talking about.
Chris (19:41.29)
and tear it in one.
Luciano (19:45.413)
Well, I don't know if it was Coke, but I think he had some sort of a deal with the furniture company because he was doing more damage to that bar than the drunk people were. Like his answer to anybody creating problems was to destroy the entire fucking bar.
Spencer (19:55.049)
Yeah.
Matt (20:00.23)
Is that not the cocaine? Or maybe... Or maybe roid rage.
Chris (20:00.394)
File track. Bashing tables. Yeah? Yeah.
Luciano (20:02.277)
That's fair, that's fair, that is fair.
Spencer (20:02.761)
That is the cookie.
Luciano (20:07.173)
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (20:07.305)
Yeah, it could be road road rage as well. What about the guy who was the guy he fired who was banging the girl in the back on his break? He seemed pretty coked in general.
Chris (20:08.234)
Little bit of both. Yeah.
Matt (20:10.246)
Mix it together. Oh yeah, that's coquettly.
Chris (20:13.61)
Right
Luciano (20:16.357)
Yeah.
Luciano (20:20.613)
Also know that he's another one of those, oh, that guy. And I don't know his name. I don't remember what movie he's been in, but I've seen him everywhere.
Spencer (20:28.361)
other 80s villain roles.
Matt (20:28.39)
Chris, I'm putting you on the case.
Chris (20:32.458)
find the guy to find the guy who was sexing? Oh, yeah, like that would be tough because none of us were paying attention to his face. I don't remember.
Matt (20:33.638)
of that other guy. Yeah, Steve was his character name, right?
Spencer (20:34.985)
That's going to be tougher because he didn't have a name. Oh, good job.
Luciano (20:42.181)
Or face or anything else, let's be honest.
Spencer (20:42.217)
or name or character.
Matt (20:42.95)
Hahahaha
Chris (20:47.146)
I remember that his tan stopped at like his waist and that was it.
Matt (20:50.886)
Yeah, yeah
Luciano (20:50.949)
Ha ha ha!
Spencer (20:51.337)
Search that search search men with tan lines. I'm sure you'll find them
Chris (20:56.234)
Confirmed.
Matt (20:58.214)
Yeah, put that in your Google history.
Luciano (20:59.204)
Man with farmer's tan. Yeah.
Spencer (21:00.329)
but the man with ten lines, 80s cocaine.
Chris (21:01.578)
I don't want that in my search history. Okay.
Luciano (21:03.749)
Not even an incognito, that's not worth it.
Matt (21:04.23)
Yeah. Cheek to cheek tan lines, that's all I want to see. Yeah. What else we talk about this movie? Let's, you know, the one thing I think we should talk about, because I think, you know, it's really transparent from this movie to the new one is like everything is just real in this movie, right? Like they clearly blew up all these buildings. They clearly did all these combat hand to hand.
Spencer (21:08.841)
Nipple to nipple.
Chris (21:10.378)
Nipple to nipple.
Luciano (21:11.173)
Ayyyy
Luciano (21:28.133)
Yeah.
Matt (21:31.142)
I mean, there's a little bit of, you know, makeup work probably done on the throat ripping out scene. Maybe they're real, I don't know.
Luciano (21:35.461)
Well, one of the one of the funniest things in this is when Dalton fights the bartender guy when he comes back after being fired and he hasn't pulled a knife on him. And like before he gets punched, he already has blood on his face. And and then the and then the fat guy slices at at Dalton and it's like clearly ketchup.
Spencer (21:35.817)
And they just had to do it.
Chris (21:37.994)
Go.
Chris (21:53.834)
That's coke induced right there.
Luciano (22:02.149)
Like just immediately apparent that it's not blood. It's amazing. It's like they skimmed on this so they can blew up more buildings. That's what they did.
Spencer (22:10.409)
Hey, this movie wasn't in HD when it was released, okay?
Luciano (22:12.997)
That's fair. That is also fair. Yeah.
Chris (22:13.93)
That was easier to fool back then, you know? But you had to think about the budget. The budget had to go somewhere. And clearly, it went to Dalton's outfits and wardrobe because the boy was iced out.
Luciano (22:27.909)
Well, just the size of his pants, right? Just the amount of fabric. Yeah.
Chris (22:31.754)
Well, the pants were fine, but I mean...
Spencer (22:32.905)
That's half the budget.
Chris (22:35.242)
That's half the budget and then that almost like that almost like G like top piece that he had. I was like, that's very, very, that's semi -Kung, that's semi -sensei right there.
Luciano (22:40.613)
That's true, yeah.
Matt (22:40.646)
Yep.
Luciano (22:44.133)
The suit coat that says, I know martial arts. Yeah.
Chris (22:49.61)
Yeah. Dalton Senpai over there. Ayyyy. Ayyyy. Itatagiras? I thought you were gonna say on boobies. There's a lot of those too. Yes.
Matt (22:50.854)
Mm -hmm.
Spencer (22:54.921)
Hehehehehe
Luciano (22:59.557)
Yeah, also I found like...
Matt (22:59.654)
Chris
Luciano (23:04.069)
The.
Spencer (23:04.617)
on top of women and most of them weren't for the movie. It's just for the 1980s executives. The cocaine budget.
Luciano (23:07.045)
Yeah.
Chris (23:12.17)
It's a lot of silicone to go around.
Luciano (23:12.805)
Well, that's what it was. It takes a little bit of time for the boobies to come. And then when they come, it's just nonstop. Yeah. Yep.
Chris (23:16.074)
Well they certainly didn't spend money on TOBS. Because no one was wearing TOBS.
Spencer (23:21.385)
They don't stop. Once they pop, you just can't stop.
Chris (23:25.61)
No, they don't pop, they jiggle. That was a lot of silicone. Hey. A lot of tans. Everyone was very tanned. Yeah. He didn't glisten it. Yeah.
Spencer (23:29.865)
Well, that's the 80s. It's a different time.
Matt (23:30.214)
Wow. I can't believe you've
Luciano (23:34.789)
Yeah, well again, that was very 80s
Spencer (23:37.161)
Did we f - Did we find out where this movie took place?
Matt (23:40.902)
No
Chris (23:41.034)
Where? I thought it was Missouri.
Luciano (23:41.541)
So the synopsis says south of the Macy's Dixon line, but I don't think they ever say the name. No, Jasper. Name of the city is Jasper. Jasper where? In a country that has like 24 Springfields, Jasper could be anywhere.
Spencer (23:42.249)
Who talked about it last time?
Spencer (23:51.785)
Yeah, Jasper, that's right.
Matt (23:54.949)
is is
Let's see. Let's find out. Jasper USA. What do we have? Texas? Was it Jasper Texas? There's a Jasper in Alabama.
Spencer (24:01.385)
Jasper, Louisiana. Very likely.
Luciano (24:04.805)
That would work, yeah.
Luciano (24:10.149)
That would also work.
Spencer (24:10.633)
Oh, that feels, that feels more accurate.
Chris (24:13.546)
I would say Texas, because isn't Wade singing about Texas when he's dancing with her? Like how they sing within old Texan.
Matt (24:13.958)
This is Jasper in Indiana.
Spencer (24:20.073)
He said he says my ex is yeah.
Luciano (24:21.637)
Well, but that's just because it's Sam Elliott. That's because it's Sam Elliott. That's why.
Matt (24:22.118)
The song is All My Exes. Yeah. But it's a song that's on the radio. Yeah. So he's yeah, it's a song on the radio. So maybe maybe that's a hint. Yeah. Oh, 100%.
Chris (24:26.89)
Yeah.
Spencer (24:28.329)
All my exes are from Texas.
Chris (24:30.762)
Exactly.
Luciano (24:35.269)
Okay, it's in the south for sure.
Chris (24:36.906)
And it was filmed, filmed in California, so yes, in the south.
Matt (24:41.702)
That's definitely California, yeah, obviously. I do have a... I don't know if this is the right spot for this question, but... You know, we watch both movies, and we're... We're gonna blow a bit of it when we rank this movie, but I'm just curious, having seen both, do you have a preference? Don't give away your rating for this movie if possible, but like a preference or things that worked?
Luciano (25:07.557)
Right.
Spencer (25:08.425)
Guys, guys, let's all say it together. Okay. Three, two, one, Roadhouse. No, the original, original.
Luciano (25:12.357)
That's not gonna work
Chris (25:14.666)
Because we don't know what we're gonna say.
Luciano (25:16.197)
Yeah. This one. Roadhouse. Yeah. Okay.
Chris (25:22.954)
double do.
Luciano (25:25.765)
They're both called Road Houses, you idiot. I keep telling you jokes have to be funny.
Chris (25:26.09)
Oh, 100%.
Spencer (25:28.169)
That's that's the joke you idiot
Chris (25:33.066)
As the new host of this podcast, I've decided in this moment that the answer is roadhouse.
Spencer (25:33.225)
I hate you.
Matt (25:41.35)
Okay.
Spencer (25:41.929)
No, for me, it's the original by, it was actually interesting for me because I've seen a lot of remakes and obviously, you know, most of them are not as good as the originals, but always I'd seen the original first. So when I saw the remake, I was always like disappointed, be like, ah, this is worse. This is worse. This is worse. This is probably the first time ever that I watched the remake before the original. And it was actually like, like far more interesting because I was like, oh, this is how you do it. Right.
Luciano (25:43.589)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:04.996)
Yeah.
Chris (26:09.93)
Right?
Luciano (26:09.989)
Yeah.
Spencer (26:10.345)
As opposed to like watching it and being like, oh, they did this wrong. I'm like, I actually like, like.
Luciano (26:12.613)
I had the same experience, yeah. I was like, I think I like this one more because I watched the other one first. I think I would have liked this one less if I hadn't watched it. Yeah.
Chris (26:15.05)
Yeah.
Spencer (26:22.537)
Yeah, it's like you appreciate the structure so much more like the stakes, like how they build up the stakes and caring about characters.
Luciano (26:27.397)
Not even just that, but even the side characters, they have so much more charm. Like Emmet and Red, they're all interesting in their own right. Whereas, we talked about this last time, Frankie was like, oh yeah, she was in this movie, the new one, but she makes no difference. So yeah, this has more heart, that's the way I thought of it.
Chris (26:40.298)
Yeah.
Spencer (26:40.809)
Yeah.
Chris (26:48.714)
Yeah. And then in the.
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And the thing and the big one of the biggest points that like that, um, that knew Matt and I were talking about, like, I forgot, but I've seen this movie many times as like a kid and teen and then like time passes and it fades. But then when I saw Sam Elliott here and the connection that said that, uh, that Wade and Dalton have, um, that just enriched like that dynamic, they adult in a real past to chew on and like,
Spencer (27:17.001)
So much.
Luciano (27:17.349)
Yeah.
Luciano (27:20.933)
Yeah. Meanwhile, fucking Gyllenhaal had Post Malone. Like, come on.
Chris (27:27.018)
That guy! I'm not fucking - I'm not fighting that guy! That's that fucking guy! Listen, that was just making up their titty quota for the new one, okay? What's - what's going on? Sad. I kinda wanted someone to grab his tits and be like, I can't kiss him, I don't have 20 bucks.
Spencer (27:27.401)
It's just as good. It's just as good.
Luciano (27:35.717)
Yeah
Spencer (27:36.393)
But also like... Yeah, exactly. But, nice.
Luciano (27:39.685)
Yeah, true, true.
Luciano (27:47.813)
Such iconic, such fucking iconic lines on this one too.
Spencer (27:47.913)
$20! Now that would have made that movie good.
Chris (27:54.026)
Oh my god the lines everywhere in this - oh... oh...
Luciano (27:56.677)
Yeah.
Matt (27:57.638)
This is what the 80s were the best for, right?
Spencer (27:57.929)
to have Wade also like but also like you brought up Wade like him not being in the new one and then him dying was like like made me want to see the like Patrick Swayze get revenge you know it made me like fired up to see the confrontation because it's like I guess it had stakes and then in the new one I'm like why did he even want to take down the bad guy like it just seemed like like I don't even remember like he was just like annoyed
Luciano (28:10.885)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (28:22.277)
Well, at least it was the burning down the book house or the book place. Yeah, well, it's not my first language, Chris. The book place. Yes, the home of the books. Yeah, but you're right. It's not the same as like not only burnt, like he exploded Red's hardware store.
Chris (28:27.626)
Bookstore, the book house, yes. Book house.
Spencer (28:29.833)
Yeah, the bookstore that he went to went to was. Yeah, you got the book where the books live.
Chris (28:33.578)
It's okay.
Books live in the house on the water where the daddy and the daughter live and they call it the book.
Matt (28:37.062)
Heheheheh
Luciano (28:51.269)
and he killed Wade, right? Yeah.
Spencer (28:53.321)
Yeah, in the new one he blew up one library. He blew up the whole town in this movie.
Matt (28:53.446)
in in
In Brad's defense.
Luciano (28:58.725)
Oh no. White power.
Chris (28:59.85)
Careful.
Matt (29:00.934)
Should Red have had so much oil and fuels in his house? No, it was many things.
Luciano (29:05.029)
It's a hardware store! Yes!
Chris (29:11.274)
Yeah, it was more of a general score.
Spencer (29:11.465)
That explains the harvester, but why did the farm explode?
Luciano (29:13.285)
Yeah, what? Yeah, manure.
Matt (29:15.43)
In Reds... not Reds, in Brad's defense.
Chris (29:16.522)
Shit out.
Luciano (29:20.037)
Oh shit. White power.
Spencer (29:21.353)
That's why you keep defending him.
Matt (29:23.238)
I don't know.
Chris (29:24.17)
Let him come, let him come!
Luciano (29:26.309)
Let him cook. Emmett, yeah.
Matt (29:26.726)
It was Emmett's house, right? That he exploded? Maybe Emmett just had too much, you know, manure laying around that put gas into the air and made it explode. Moonshine? Clearly he's a moonshine. That's why he wasn't on a Coke. See? Brad, Brad Wesley is innocent.
Chris (29:29.354)
Emmett's house was blown.
Spencer (29:36.905)
moonshine?
Chris (29:37.642)
Yeah.
Chris (29:41.802)
That's true, right?
Luciano (29:41.861)
There you go. I think we, I think. Brad Power.
Spencer (29:42.793)
Mmm.
Chris (29:45.418)
Can I just point out that also without Wade and the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal's Dalton killed his own friend, when he goes on that rampage, he kind of seems more like a psychopath just killing random people just to sort of satisfy his own crazy. Whereas at least Swayze's like, I have a
Spencer (29:45.513)
Free Brad Wesley.
Brad Wesley did not kill himself.
Luciano (29:58.021)
Yeah!
Luciano (30:03.141)
Well, yeah, well, he's also a psychopath because when he loses it, he fucking loses it.
Matt (30:14.214)
Yeah.
Chris (30:14.346)
True, but at least we're rooting for that psychopath.
Spencer (30:17.416)
He seems like a good guy though. He calls old people sir.
Chris (30:21.514)
That's right.
Matt (30:21.797)
and to defend Patrick Swayze for real this time though. Just one more time.
Spencer (30:25.769)
I thought you were going to pretend Brad Wesley again. But another Brad Wesley fact.
Chris (30:27.402)
Hahaha
Luciano (30:30.629)
He did, he was bringing JC Penney to the town.
Chris (30:31.178)
Let us return to the... Let us exult the virtues of one Brad Wesley, you know, Saint and Scholar as he is.
Matt (30:33.926)
What? That is correct sir!
Spencer (30:34.505)
Hehehehehe
Matt (30:41.094)
Yes. Um, but.
Spencer (30:42.889)
Are you on Brad Wesley's payroll?
Luciano (30:44.805)
Yeah.
Chris (30:45.706)
What? What?
Matt (30:47.27)
I am the fat guy on his crew.
Luciano (30:49.573)
Ha ha.
Chris (30:49.61)
HAHAHA
A bear fell on me.
Spencer (30:52.649)
And the death of Abba.
Matt (30:54.822)
No, but like to defend Swayze's craziness, crazy Swayze, he at least like killed a man in self -defense in, was it Missouri? Or Memphis, Memphis, right? And then he again has to kill Jimmy. Johnny? Jimmy.
Luciano (30:59.173)
Nice.
Spencer (31:00.297)
Beautiful.
Luciano (31:06.565)
Memphis.
Spencer (31:07.241)
Memphis.
Chris (31:07.498)
Yes, yes.
Luciano (31:13.093)
Jimmy, generic white man name on a not white guy, yes.
Chris (31:13.322)
Jimmy. Jimmy.
Matt (31:18.918)
possibly Italian, no one's quite sure. He pulls a gun. So he has to, that's, what I've learned is apparently when a man pulls a gun on you, you're allowed to rip his throat out. That's, that's what I learned.
Luciano (31:20.869)
Hahaha!
Luciano (31:26.245)
And we get the far shadowing for it, right?
Yes, that's the law. That's that's in the constitution.
Spencer (31:31.593)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've just, I have to say it. There is no ripping a man's throat out in self -defense. That is not a thing. If you have the time and the opportunity to rip a man's throat out, you could subdue him without ripping his throat out. It's not like you fired a gun in self -defense. You've ripped his Adam's apple out of his neck.
Matt (31:51.078)
What if your fingers are like a little cobra and it snatched next to other people?
Luciano (31:53.477)
Yeah, why don't you? Yeah.
Chris (31:58.89)
He already told him what he does to guys in prison. He didn't want that to happen to any more people. He said to him, I fuck guys like you in prison. So he's like, I'm going to have to put you down. Like you are going to be horrible to the people in prison. I can't be my.
Luciano (31:59.877)
Why do you -
Spencer (32:03.337)
Yeah, that's true.
Luciano (32:07.589)
Yeah.
Matt (32:14.566)
It wasn't the gun, it wasn't the murder, it was the prison thing that made him, that got to him.
Chris (32:19.018)
It was the -
Luciano (32:19.109)
Yeah, I'm not gonna sick this bastard on those poor prisoners.
Spencer (32:19.529)
That got to him. That got...
The weird thing is that the guy in Memphis said the same thing. And he was left with no choice.
Chris (32:24.362)
Exactly!
Chris (32:28.714)
UGH
Matt (32:29.478)
Exactly, word for word.
Chris (32:32.393)
And the cherry on top is that Jimmy was about to fire a bullet at Dalton. So what did Dalton have on his person? He had these hands. So he fired these hands at that man's body and he happened to land on that Adam's apple.
Spencer (32:48.521)
are registered weapons.
Matt (32:48.55)
And that's why patient Saint Brad Wesley wasn't killed that way. Because Dalton realized that he had never said he fucked guys like him in prison, thereby invalidating the next statue.
Spencer (32:54.121)
That's right.
Chris (32:56.394)
Yeah.
Spencer (33:00.713)
That's true. He didn't have... Yes.
Chris (33:01.386)
Exactly.
Luciano (33:03.621)
And he also, he was also like, oh, the doctor didn't like it when I did it. So she's gonna be okay with me shooting like five guys in cold blood, but I didn't rip anybody's throat. She'd be okay with it.
Chris (33:05.13)
and deescalating.
Chris (33:15.082)
But the difference is that she would have witnessed him potentially killing Wesley. She did not see... There was no witness. She did not connect the deaths of the crew. So that's not...
Spencer (33:21.737)
What you don't see won't hurt her. What you don't see won't hurt her.
Luciano (33:22.821)
Oh no.
Luciano (33:28.517)
I see. So she's a doctor, but she has no object permanence is what you're saying.
Chris (33:35.594)
I didn't say that. I said, I said something else. I didn't say that either. I didn't say that either. You will not put those words, you don't put that evil on me.
Matt (33:37.734)
He said, women don't have object permanence. That's what he said.
Luciano (33:39.493)
Oh no! Oh no!
Spencer (33:40.265)
Oh, that's what Chris said.
Matt (33:48.55)
Listen, Chris, I'm gonna get you out of this with a heath effect. Luciano?
Luciano (33:53.381)
Oh, so here's an interesting fact. Jeff Healy's father was a firefighter. That's it. That's the fact.
Spencer (34:02.953)
Heel effects!
Matt (34:03.942)
Just like how Brad Wesley wanted to get a drink for the brave firefighters that put out the fire at Red's house. Speaking of Brad Wesley, let's talk about him. Can I think?
Chris (34:05.034)
Yeah
Spencer (34:11.625)
It's all connected.
Luciano (34:13.957)
Yeah. Oh, Korean, Korean War veteran, Brad Wesley.
Chris (34:18.762)
Hmm. Damn.
Matt (34:18.95)
Thank you. Korean War veteran, patron saint, Brad Wesley. Some might say he's Jesus. I don't know. Let's talk about him because we need to expand on some of the larger holes of plot, if you will, in this movie. And I think Brad Wesley is the starter. The holes of plot. Brad Wesley. Why Brad Wesley? How Brad Wesley? When Brad Wesley? Who Brad Wesley? What Brad Wesley? Where Brad Wesley?
Luciano (34:22.245)
This is going in a bad direction.
Chris (34:23.466)
I'm not sure.
Luciano (34:33.253)
The holes of plot.
Luciano (34:40.261)
Hahaha!
Spencer (34:42.857)
Ha ha.
Chris (34:47.05)
Mmm. Good question.
Luciano (34:49.605)
Yeah.
Spencer (34:49.801)
Innocent Brad Wesley
Matt (34:50.95)
Innocent. No question mark, innocent period.
Chris (34:55.178)
Okay, Brad Wesley. Okay.
Luciano (34:57.253)
Cuckoo. Yeah.
Spencer (34:58.025)
I mean, there's a lot to cover there. I mean, in terms of his... What's fascinating is his relationship to this town that he seems to own. So from my understanding, he just basically had everyone pay him and he would fuck their shit up if they didn't. And that's him building the town.
Luciano (35:09.733)
Yeah.
Luciano (35:19.781)
And also on the whim when he was feeling bored.
Matt (35:24.262)
It started at 10%.
Spencer (35:24.777)
That's true. But my question is, how does that get J .C. Penney into town?
Luciano (35:30.981)
And also will JC Penny have to pay the racket money too?
Chris (35:31.082)
Yeah, did he threaten JCPenney?
Spencer (35:33.257)
For sure.
Matt (35:33.51)
Hahaha!
Chris (35:37.738)
He shows up at a JC Penny with his crew and just like... Jimmy just starts beating him up with like draws and just like...
Spencer (35:41.033)
Give it a thought!
Luciano (35:42.917)
He's highly, highly competent and not at all cobbled together crew. Let's put it that.
Spencer (35:47.977)
He's like, give us, give us all your bedazzled genes or, or burning this place down.
Matt (35:52.966)
If, if Brad Wesley knew that JCPenney was not going to make it, would he have brought it to town?
Chris (35:53.674)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (36:01.637)
Yes. Have you, did you watch this movie? He doesn't give a fuck. He just wants to be able to say it.
Chris (36:03.082)
Probably.
Matt (36:03.142)
Still.
So is JCPenney the most flammable department store? Is that why he brought it?
Spencer (36:06.729)
Yeah.
Luciano (36:11.013)
I guess it's yeah.
Spencer (36:11.305)
No, you can't buy the kind of exposure that a JCPenney brings to your town, okay? That's more than more than money.
Chris (36:13.386)
You get it. You know what I mean.
Luciano (36:16.357)
Yeah. And the kind of exposure that exploding a JCPenney would bring to your town.
Spencer (36:23.145)
Ha ha.
Matt (36:23.878)
Okay, I digress. That was my fault. We're talking about Brad Wesley. And I, the reason why I ask all these questions about Brad Wesley, Spencer's correct on some of it, but the town aspect of it. But I just want to know why Brad Wesley is so obsessed with what arguably is a series of shops on a highway in the middle of nowhere.
Luciano (36:43.397)
On a single highway.
Matt (36:47.91)
Yeah, they're all right beside each other.
Spencer (36:48.009)
Hey, he's making hundreds of dollars and his extorting of them. Hundreds. He's not extorting the hospital.
Luciano (36:52.933)
There's a hospital too.
that you know of.
Matt (36:58.79)
Isn't he?
Chris (36:58.794)
No.
Luciano (37:00.517)
It's not extortion, it's protection money. Not the same thing.
Spencer (37:00.873)
Isn't he though?
Chris (37:05.898)
proximity is everything it's only 22 miles away.
Luciano (37:09.317)
No, that's the other movie. Here, here it's everything is a neighbor of everything else.
Chris (37:10.826)
I know.
Spencer (37:12.489)
Heheheheh
Chris (37:16.554)
Mmm.
Spencer (37:17.321)
Yeah, cause what is in the town? Like the farm? He blows that up.
Luciano (37:19.493)
The farm?
Chris (37:19.754)
General store, car dealership.
car dealership.
Spencer (37:25.545)
He runs that over with a monster truck. Okay, what else? He blows...
Luciano (37:25.925)
He racks that up. Yeah. The hardware store.
Matt (37:27.014)
That's right, doesn't blow it up.
Yeah, and the hardware store is directly across the street from Double Deuce.
Luciano (37:34.277)
Yes.
Chris (37:34.762)
You up? No.
Spencer (37:35.337)
Okay.
Matt (37:36.422)
And Spencer, he does blow that up, you're correct.
Spencer (37:38.089)
He just blows - okay he blows that up too.
Luciano (37:38.693)
Although there is the diner where Wade dances with the doctor and then there's whatever they were before.
Chris (37:42.218)
Oh.
Spencer (37:42.601)
Mmm.
Matt (37:48.838)
Right. Yeah. Another bar.
Chris (37:49.29)
the other nyan... with that sleepy guy. Yeah. The single deuce.
Luciano (37:51.077)
The single deuce instead of that's not the double deuce, the single deuce. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for explaining the joke. That's usually my job.
Matt (37:55.366)
I got you.
Matt (37:59.91)
You're welcome. Uh huh. Um, okay. So, so we've got two bars, a diner, um, there was a gas station, I think, right? He pulls into one at some point.
Luciano (38:08.357)
hardware store.
Luciano (38:12.837)
Yeah, there's like an old used car sales ship or yeah, where he buys the beat up. I thought that was super smart too that he bought the car just to get them wrecked. That was very smart.
Chris (38:17.45)
Yes.
Use heart.
Spencer (38:20.457)
Isn't there? When he's talking -
Chris (38:26.378)
Yeah. Oh, right, right. With the monster truck. I don't know. It was a...
Spencer (38:26.793)
That is that was I was like, why is he buying cars?
Matt (38:29.51)
Yeah. No, no, no. We're talking about he buys a used car that they throw, they break the windshield on and stops. Yeah.
Spencer (38:31.721)
Um, I'll -
Luciano (38:34.789)
could stop signs into and fuck, yeah, yeah.
Spencer (38:36.393)
that it's this.
Chris (38:37.322)
Right, right, right, right. There was a library.
Matt (38:43.046)
Hey, can I pause this and ask us whose kid is screaming bloody murder? Is that Spencer? Okay. It's fine Spencer, it's not a big deal. I just need to mark it so I can catch it.
Luciano (38:46.181)
Yeah. Oh, I thought it was a cat too.
Spencer (38:46.409)
Oh, it's my son. I didn't know if you could hear me.
Chris (38:50.026)
I thought it was a cat.
Spencer (38:55.912)
Yeah, but that's that's what I deal with. He's three floors up.
Luciano (39:00.964)
That's some pipes get him to put him on some singing lessons and make some money
Chris (39:02.762)
That's some, that's some, yeah. That's some lungs on him.
Spencer (39:03.913)
Yeah, he's screaming.
Chris (39:08.522)
Canada's got talent.
Matt (39:10.246)
Um, yeah. Wow. Got him. Uh, Spencer, are you texting your wife? Tell that kid to shut up. It was fine. Um.
Luciano (39:10.725)
Jeff Healy is one of them. Was.
Chris (39:14.026)
RIP.
Spencer (39:16.873)
Yeah.
Luciano (39:18.853)
HAHAHAHA
Chris (39:19.05)
Yeah, what are you texting? You're like, hey I don't want to walk up three flights of stairs
Spencer (39:19.657)
I know, that's what I'm doing.
Matt (39:23.878)
Yeah, Matt's - Matt says you can hear your stupid kid.
Luciano (39:27.813)
Jesus, yeah. Get a proxy punch from Laura.
Matt (39:31.142)
Um
Spencer (39:31.593)
fucking crazy it's fucking 10 o 'clock like why is he fucking awake? that'll put him down
Matt (39:36.678)
Give them cocaine, they'll settle them down.
Luciano (39:38.149)
Wait, no, that's, yeah, no, no. You're a father too.
Chris (39:40.01)
I'll do it. Give him a shot of that brandy. It's the brandy. Use the brandy. That's the old G -shirt.
Matt (39:42.054)
I mean...
Spencer (39:47.273)
Jeez, that would be nice.
Matt (39:47.782)
Alright, let's segue ourselves back into the Brad Wesley conversation. We kind of petered out, I think.
Luciano (39:48.677)
That's that's.
Chris (39:55.85)
the library used car, the location? I feel like though, honestly though, I feel like we're missing the fact that if that bar can pay Dalton like what? Nearly 20 grand or something like that, even more, we didn't have to do it. Well, they can obviously like, he's making money. I don't know where, like, is this the most important like, random?
Luciano (39:57.445)
Ask another question about it because there's more to talk about it
Matt (39:58.086)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (40:09.349)
Are you gonna say he can afford the racket money?
Matt (40:15.622)
CLEARS THROAT
Okay, whoa, hey man, we haven't started recording yet, so.
Spencer (40:21.417)
Also, Matt, you're a bit close and Chris is a bit far. Yeah. Well, I think, I think Matt, I think Matt was peeking a bit.
Matt (40:25.222)
It's fine, I can fix all that, I can fix me in post.
Chris (40:25.226)
Hmm.
Luciano (40:28.101)
No, the other mat.
Chris (40:29.93)
Yeah, I was right by them. Me? Yeah, I was right by them.
Matt (40:30.342)
Oh, Matt and Chris Matt.
Luciano (40:33.477)
Yeah.
Spencer (40:34.601)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (40:35.718)
It's fine.
Spencer (40:37.033)
Yeah, because he was close and Chris was hard, so it's going to be harder for you to mix.
Luciano (40:39.653)
Kana's back in, Matt.
Matt (40:40.646)
It's just gonna sound like shit. It's fine. I'm gonna count us back in and don't worry about it. I'm gonna count us back in. I'm just gonna throw directly to Matt and, hey Matt, what do you think about Rod Resi or whatever? And then you can go off on your, he's a king. All right.
Chris (40:45.706)
I mean, next time up for a way to put it.
Spencer (40:47.017)
Perfect.
Spencer (40:58.473)
say what you were saying.
Matt (41:10.534)
So, I mean, these are all great points, but I guess focusing on map -itism for a little bit. Other mat, you're on the pro Brad Restly train, right?
Luciano (41:17.829)
Mathematism.
Chris (41:23.114)
Yeah, I mean, I kind of understand what he's doing. I mean, we got to look at this, the double deuce here and realize that like they're paying Dalton cash like he is getting paid so they could pay the cooler that and all of the other people and they're still getting skimmed for all that money. They must be making bank. So I just feel like there's got to be some hidden goldmine in this. Maybe there's just like it's probably Jeff Healy. I'm talking about this the whole time and that's all I'm realizing is Jeff.
Luciano (41:51.301)
Yep, yep.
Chris (41:53.194)
He's the draw. Yeah. And yeah. You know. But they're making money like it seems like the weirdest dusty little road like side of the road garbage heap, but they're making bank there somehow, you know, and the people are.
Spencer (41:53.833)
They're all just going to see Jeff Ely.
Luciano (41:56.229)
Yeah, it's the only good thing about this fucking town.
Spencer (42:00.265)
I actually believe that. From what I can see, that is accurate.
Matt (42:14.726)
So Brad Wesley is collecting like 250K a year from each of these, like each building in this town square. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (42:22.309)
The five buildings that exist in this town
Spencer (42:22.377)
Each tiny building that he keeps destroying. Three of which he's destroyed.
Chris (42:25.738)
Right?
Matt (42:28.358)
Cause that actually explains why, why the other, the other citizens, all the citizens of the town gather in someone's fucking living room. And they're like, Hey Red, don't leave. We'll help you rebuild. Cause it's the money is probably so good to them that it doesn't matter for a monster truck runs over their inventory from time to time.
Chris (42:46.762)
Yeah, right? I mean, come on!
Spencer (42:49.097)
cost of business.
Chris (42:50.698)
par for the chorus out there, you know? You've got to, you've got.
Spencer (42:53.097)
You know what, you guys are making sense. Free, free Wesley.
Matt (42:55.686)
You
Chris (42:56.65)
I'll make t -shirts. He didn't deserve that. He did not deserve it.
Spencer (42:58.089)
From the grave.
Matt (43:01.03)
The martyrdom of Brad Wesley was a shame, but it also shone light on all the good he did. So it's good. Yeah. Okay, let's shift gears for a second here. There is another sort of, I don't know if it's an 80s problem, but I think we should tackle it anyways. They throw away a line where they're like, Brad Wesley owns everything in this town, even the sheriff. But there's owning the sheriff and then there's...
Chris (43:07.402)
Yeah? Yeah!
Spencer (43:07.497)
All the good you cannot be understated.
Luciano (43:07.909)
Oh no. Oh.
Matt (43:30.182)
You never see a cop ever. Where, please?
Luciano (43:31.557)
Why police? Who police? Where police? I think that that town might be like a kind of a Silent Hill sort of deal where it's like hidden from the rest of the world. Yeah.
Spencer (43:33.321)
Yeah, just wear it, please.
Chris (43:35.082)
for her police.
Spencer (43:39.049)
Yeah, they're there.
Spencer (43:44.681)
It's in a pocket dimension.
I mean, that makes sense because they seem like they're hit being hit by terror attacks. If you, you know, like they'd be on their like fucking Homeland Security watch lists. If multiple buildings are being blown to shit within a week.
Luciano (43:54.917)
Yeah.
Luciano (43:59.429)
Yeah, like.
Yeah, and nothing happens like the sheriff shows up literally at the very last scene of the of the movie and people go nothing happened here and he goes, okay
Spencer (44:10.025)
What? What's going on here? What happened? Another building's gone down!
Matt (44:12.358)
Hehehehehe
Chris (44:18.666)
We didn't see nothing. I don't know what you're talking about.
Luciano (44:20.037)
Yeah?
Spencer (44:20.777)
Wh -wh -whaat?
Luciano (44:23.109)
Yeah, it was like.
Matt (44:23.749)
Do you think when the sheriff shows up to Brad Wesley's house he's like, hey guys, why don't you just blow this one up and we'll call it square?
Luciano (44:28.773)
It's just bulldoze the hotel. Let's start over
Spencer (44:29.161)
Oh yeah. Well this looks like a lot of paperwork.
Luciano (44:36.005)
Oh, that's what it is, he's lazy to make reports. That's what it is.
Spencer (44:39.273)
Yeah, he doesn't want to do it. They're all like, we didn't see anything. And he's like, well, all case closed.
Chris (44:40.778)
Can I just ask something?
Luciano (44:45.861)
Hahaha!
Chris (44:46.026)
I just, I gotta ask something random. Is the response, we don't see anything because they keep asking Cody?
Matt (44:48.806)
Yeah.
Luciano (44:53.029)
Oh no, too soon! Too soon! You put some respect on Jeff Healy! But probably, but also probably.
Matt (44:55.206)
hahahahahh
But also, it's a fair question.
Chris (45:03.082)
I couldn't resist it. Couldn't resist that. Come on.
Luciano (45:11.557)
See what you did, Matt? This is why you made silence.
Matt (45:11.654)
What happened?
Chris (45:13.13)
I just derailed everything. Everybody say - We're having a moment of silence. Yeah.
Spencer (45:17.481)
For Jeff Healy's eyes.
Matt (45:21.286)
Sorry, do you feel these eyes?
Luciano (45:23.237)
Yeah. Okay, I think we need another Healy fact. Hold on. When he was nine years old, his musical talents were showcased in an interview on TV Ontario on a children's program called Cucumber.
Spencer (45:23.401)
Yeah, yeah
Matt (45:27.462)
Yeah, we do. Cleanse the palette.
Chris (45:27.69)
It's time.
Chris (45:39.242)
Oh my God!
Matt (45:39.27)
TVO!
Luciano (45:40.677)
Hahaha!
Spencer (45:41.545)
Tee -lee fa -
Luciano (45:43.909)
There you go.
Matt (45:44.902)
Law enforcement, what role do they play in the safety of the greater Jasper area vis -a -vis Alabama, Indiana, Florida, Arkansas?
Luciano (45:47.781)
Oh, what a segue!
Luciano (45:58.245)
Oh maybe that's what the problem was, maybe the sheriff didn't know which Jasper he was supposed to be sheriffing.
Matt (46:02.534)
Okay, that could be it.
Spencer (46:03.593)
I think the police just section off this town to protect the rest of the country. Yeah, it's like escape from New York. It's like the Manhattan Island. It's roped off and it's no man's land.
Luciano (46:06.181)
Like as a lost cause is like fuck fuck this. Oh nice
Okay, now you have me imagining what if Kurt Russell played...
Matt (46:19.206)
Yeah, then.
Spencer (46:23.529)
The exact same thing would happen. And we would love it. It would be pretty sweet.
Chris (46:24.074)
No.
Luciano (46:24.549)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (46:26.598)
Pretty... Pretty much, yeah.
Chris (46:28.522)
But it also makes me think about the car dealership, that dude. He said he had a FBI connect after Red's general store was blown up, right? And he said that...
Luciano (46:36.773)
What?
Spencer (46:41.065)
Schadenfraud?
Luciano (46:41.797)
Yeah, the car dealership for Mr. Schadenfreude.
Chris (46:54.378)
like we can help you rebuild and we can take him to court or something. I've got a FB, I know a guy at the FBI where the fuck.
Spencer (46:59.689)
Not just anywhere, an FBI contact in Springfield.
Luciano (47:03.653)
Yeah.
Matt (47:04.838)
Oh, we're putting the puzzle together.
Chris (47:07.114)
Bring them away toys So what was that like we don't My question is like it you don't just lightly mention the FBI and nothing comes of it like
Spencer (47:07.433)
Chief Police Wiggum. Police Chief Wiggum. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, I don't know.
Luciano (47:09.669)
Wig em, yeah.
Luciano (47:16.677)
So what's your question, Chris?
Luciano (47:23.237)
I mean you do when it's a lie.
Spencer (47:25.449)
You do it. Yeah, that's true.
Chris (47:25.994)
I guess it was a lie.
Matt (47:26.63)
Yeah.
Luciano (47:26.853)
He was just boasting.
Matt (47:30.342)
Yeah, maybe he doesn't know anybody.
Chris (47:31.21)
But he wanted his friend to stay. And if one of his friends said yes, then you'd have to put it together.
Luciano (47:36.997)
Yeah, hire an actor.
Spencer (47:38.025)
Let me call my friend. His name's, yeah, his name's General Phaeagent.
Luciano (47:43.333)
Hahaha!
Yeah.
Chris (47:47.242)
Thank you for that.
Matt (47:48.454)
You're welcome.
Spencer (47:48.745)
That answers your question.
Luciano (47:50.213)
Name is Agent Wiggum.
Matt (47:51.91)
No, it's fine. We got it. Um, what's, you know, it's fine. I think we've covered the law enforcement. Uh, there's nothing there. It's fine. Yeah, pretty much. That's, it's good. We know the law.
Luciano (47:57.989)
Yeah, we covered law enforcement as much as they covered the city.
Spencer (48:02.601)
It is true. You don't see a cop till the very end of the movie. It's the only time.
Luciano (48:04.997)
Yeah, the very the very last scene. Yeah
Matt (48:05.862)
very end of the movie.
Chris (48:06.346)
I feel like it's an accurate representation of small town America police forces.
Matt (48:10.182)
This is what I was going to say, it's an accurate representation of everywhere with police. They don't show up when you need them.
Spencer (48:15.209)
Oh.
Chris (48:16.394)
DEFEND!
Matt (48:18.278)
Yeah, we got too real there for a second. Let's give us a healy facts just to clear the palette.
Luciano (48:18.501)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
Spencer (48:22.409)
Yeah, what is this? Somebody make a fart sound. There we go.
Luciano (48:25.157)
Okay, let's see what do we have here. In 1990, the Jeff Healy Band won the Juno Award for Canadian Entertainer of the Year.
Chris (48:31.69)
Mm -hmm. Cook.
Damn, I'm talking Juno now.
Matt (48:37.702)
Uh, yes.
Spencer (48:37.897)
Heely Fax.
Chris (48:45.258)
Is it wrong that I feel worse for him now?
Luciano (48:47.333)
A little bit.
Matt (48:47.462)
Yeah. Yeah, you should know that's the right emotion. Uh, the Junos are basically Canadian Grammys for anybody who happens to listen to this in America. Moving on. Let's ask some, Hey man, Hey man. I don't give a shit about UK.
Chris (48:56.554)
Yeah.
Spencer (48:57.801)
for all our UK listeners out there.
Spencer (49:04.041)
I do.
Matt (49:05.318)
No, we're we're segueing to fun questions.
Luciano (49:08.005)
Yeah, they listened on the wrong side of the road. Fuck them.
Matt (49:10.406)
Yeah, yeah, that. And the wrong ears, too. Stereo's reversed over there, it's fucked up. Hey, why are bouncers famous in Roadhouse?
Spencer (49:17.481)
Hehehehe
That's my favorite part of the movie. That's Wade. He's a bouncer from four towns over. Why do you know that? I mean, yeah, totally. I got a Dalton rookie card from when he knocked out that guy with a broken bottle.
Chris (49:23.658)
That we did.
Matt (49:32.166)
He's got his rookie card. He's got his upper deck bouncer card.
Yeah
Chris (49:43.85)
Put it in a hard sleeve or a soft sleeve?
Spencer (49:47.497)
Are you kidding? ADULTING?! It's going on a hardsley baby, it's going in a safe. You can get -
Chris (49:49.386)
Yeah, damn. Yo, I thought you would come correct and get the soft sleeve and then put the soft sleeve in the hard sleeve to make sure that, yo, damn.
Matt (49:58.15)
You fucked up, Spencer.
Luciano (50:00.037)
Yeah.
Spencer (50:00.393)
Like I would tell you if what I really do with my Dalton card idiots
Luciano (50:05.093)
You'd be a sleeve alright.
Chris (50:08.586)
WHAT HAPPENED?!
Spencer (50:08.713)
What?
Matt (50:08.902)
hahahaha
Chris (50:13.258)
This is content, this is the content. Welcome back everybody. Bye!
Matt (50:14.374)
It's a sleeve for his penis, folks.
Spencer (50:17.609)
Ah
Chris (50:20.586)
I was talking about trading cards, you were talking about that dick? I ain't gonna show you my dick.
Luciano (50:21.413)
See, this is why I always explain the jokes.
Spencer (50:24.489)
I mean, to answer your question.
Luciano (50:27.333)
Another great one -liner.
Matt (50:27.654)
Hahaha.
Spencer (50:30.697)
Like to answer your question, Matt, I'd like to imagine that in this world, like bouncers are as famous. It's just like an alternative Earth where bouncers are as famous as actors or singers. And Jeff Healy is not cared for.
Luciano (50:49.605)
Wow! Wow! Jesus!
Matt (50:49.99)
Why you shooting straight at Jeff Ely? Jeff Ely never won a Juno in 1990 in this universe.
Chris (50:51.338)
What? You keep going, you keep going. It's like, it's like this place.
Luciano (50:59.749)
hahahaha
Chris (51:02.058)
It's like you had so many parking spots available and you deliberately parked in the disabled.
Spencer (51:02.249)
Yeah, he did.
Listen, listen, it's just that world. You can't get a gig, he works at a bar, but bouncers get paid 40K per month.
Matt (51:09.894)
Wow, Chris.
Luciano (51:15.909)
That's true. So wait, so if bound regular bouncers are like actors, what about coolers then? Are they even like the superheroes of this universe or? Your Patrick Swayze's?
Chris (51:19.978)
You never saw it.
Spencer (51:26.729)
Coolers are like, they're like A -list actors. They're like your Brad Pitts of your Patrick Swayze's. Your Matt from Popcorn Blot Holds.
Chris (51:35.658)
Can I be honest?
Matt (51:35.686)
Uh, Spencer.
Luciano (51:39.525)
hahahaha
Matt (51:39.526)
Thank you.
Chris (51:40.33)
Tell me, I didn't even know what a cooler was. I didn't know that that was like a thing or a title. I'm the cooler. But even in New Roadhouse, when Jessica or sorry, when Frankie rolls up on on on New Dalton, then it's like, I want to hire you. And then he's like, no, you want so and so he's the best. So like, and now.
Luciano (51:44.613)
Me neither. Yeah.
Spencer (51:44.969)
I don't know if it is a thing. I think it's a thing in this movie.
Spencer (52:01.385)
Yeah.
Luciano (52:01.541)
Well, yeah, Post Malone. That's why I said, yeah, you want Carter. We'll post Malone.
Spencer (52:04.905)
Was that Post Maloney he was talking about?
Chris (52:08.394)
Oh no. I take that back. I take that back.
Spencer (52:08.937)
That's such a fucking disservice to this movie. He was he was the Wade character. Oh my god, that's crazy
Luciano (52:12.421)
Exactly.
That's why I used them, yeah.
Chris (52:17.674)
That post Malone fight should have ended with a bear falling on him. A bear fell on me.
Matt (52:21.318)
That would have been better.
Spencer (52:21.545)
Ha!
And then yeah, that is saying that a bear fell on me.
Luciano (52:26.917)
A bear fell on me.
Matt (52:28.55)
Spencer, you asked this question about coolers and bouncers. You asked it, who knows? Spencer asked it. It's fine, Spencer asked it now. Hey man, I'm a professional podcast host. I know what's happening on the show. Thank you. Great, great question, Spencer. Top notch job. No, no, you didn't, Spencer didn't. I'm asking the next question, this is a segue. No one cares that you didn't ask that question.
Spencer (52:33.833)
I don't think I did. Yes I did!
Luciano (52:33.957)
No, he was as what he was doing was answering it
Spencer (52:41.833)
Yeah, I'll yes and. I did, I asked about coolers.
Luciano (52:41.989)
Okay.
Chris (52:45.194)
Seriously though, seriously.
Luciano (52:47.045)
No, I asked about coolers.
Spencer (52:49.353)
You shut your whore face, sir!
Matt (52:56.966)
Spencer, I want to know how you get promoted from a bouncer to a cooler, because that seems like a rise in ranks at the bars.
Spencer (53:05.385)
I mean, I would assume you have to have a confirmed kill with your hands, right? I don't think he was a cooler until Memphis. And then that got him, yeah, yeah. And then when he was walking in Memphis and he ripped a man's throat out, yeah, yeah. And then he got promoted to cooler.
Luciano (53:10.725)
That tracks, that tracks.
Matt (53:10.982)
Make sense.
Matt (53:19.878)
after Memphis if you will.
Luciano (53:26.565)
Just because it was walking on the right side of the road? Yeah, okay.
Spencer (53:34.153)
And you have to also have to have a like a like there. I think your K .O. ratio is like a like a batting percentage. You got to have a K .O. rate over like five fifty.
Matt (53:43.942)
Hey, in the batting percentage thing, it's like a hit versus an at bat. So are you saying like fights to kills is your average?
Spencer (53:47.497)
Yes.
Luciano (53:54.693)
This is how many people he hits a home run with with a bat. That's what that is.
Spencer (53:55.433)
Note.
No, no, no, no, you're not getting Luciano. You're an old man. You don't know this thing. Listen, sir. I told you I'm referring to you, sir, from now on. No. So kills are like home runs on your card. So it's just a number. Your average is your like your, your KO average. So how many times when you fight someone, how many times you knock them out, that's your percentage. And then at bats would be fights, you know?
Luciano (54:01.701)
Wait, what?
Chris (54:04.202)
Old man can't do it. Do you know how old baseball is?
Matt (54:13.126)
Correct. Right.
Matt (54:20.998)
Knockout. Great, thank you.
Great. So what is, uh, this is great. So what is Dalton's OPS? Cause OPS is like slugging and on base percentage put together. So we've got home runs and we got hits. Fuck you. Shove. Stay in your lane. So like over a thousand between kills and fights.
Spencer (54:29.577)
This really works well with our Dalton rookie card, by the way.
Luciano (54:37.093)
Fucking hell with the baseball shit.
Ha ha!
Luciano (54:47.045)
Some would say it goes over 9 ,000.
Spencer (54:47.817)
Yeah, for sure. So over 9 ,000. OPS would be like, you know, figured out by also how many breaks you get. Like, he breaks a lot of, knee breaking is valued.
Matt (54:51.206)
Perfect.
Matt (55:00.422)
That's it. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (55:01.157)
Oh, bone breakages, okay.
Spencer (55:03.465)
Yeah, yeah, bone brew.
Chris (55:03.978)
When he breaks like bunting.
Matt (55:06.47)
No, no, no. What are you doing here, Chris? What is this?
Spencer (55:06.985)
No, no, bone, no, you fucking, what are you, are you even listening? Bone breaks is like a double. It's like a solid, like a.
Luciano (55:10.373)
Hahaha!
Chris (55:10.474)
Yes I am, I say bitch. Yeah. But it was a knee. Well maybe like a hand is like a single, like a kneecap is like a double. Stabbing. There's definitely a lot of stabbing.
Matt (55:14.982)
Yeah.
Matt (55:18.886)
A handjob? I was thinking a stab was like a stolen vase.
Spencer (55:20.457)
Ha ha.
Luciano (55:20.965)
All right. All right.
Spencer (55:23.113)
Yeah.
Luciano (55:24.133)
What a stab is a stolen base? What if it results in death? Is that a homerun then?
Spencer (55:27.689)
Yeah, they're rare. Yeah, that's a home run. That's a stolen home run.
Matt (55:31.398)
No, that's a, that's a, that's a caught stealing.
Chris (55:32.138)
That's an in the park moment, if that is. So what's a pop fly then?
Spencer (55:35.305)
Yeah.
A pop fly would be equivalent to missing a punch.
Matt (55:43.398)
You know, I think we've nailed the question of how to get promoted. There's no further questions needed. It's clear and obvious to everybody.
Chris (55:43.69)
Yeah.
Luciano (55:49.605)
Yeah, it's like it's like playing magic the gathering with people with actual people. There you go
Spencer (55:49.769)
Did you look at your card?
Chris (55:50.602)
Yeah.
Matt (55:51.622)
Check.
Yeah, it's he has this medical file. He cares around with them. It also contains his rookie card or his card up to date stats.
Luciano (55:59.813)
Has all the stats yeah that makes sense
Spencer (55:59.817)
Yeah
Chris (56:00.746)
Yeah. Yeah.
Spencer (56:03.625)
I want am I crazy that I want a canal collection of bouncer cards. This sounds awesome
Luciano (56:07.557)
It would work!
Matt (56:07.654)
We'll make it happen. Let's talk about bouncers. We got to talk about two. Cooler, one to cooler, one to bouncer. I'm not sure what shitty Dalton was. I'm sorry, Jake Gyllenhaal Dalton for those uneducated. But I want to know, you guys asked this question the last time and I thought your answer was weird and insufficient. So we're going to ask it again after having watched this movie. Who would win in a fight between this Dalton, Swayze, and Jake Gyllenhaal, shitty Dalton?
Spencer (56:21.033)
Oh, they didn't have coolers.
Spencer (56:28.233)
Okay
Spencer (56:39.049)
I forget what I, who I said last time.
Luciano (56:41.541)
Well, we all said Swayze Dalton because of said hair and throat removal procedure.
Spencer (56:46.153)
of his hair.
Matt (56:46.982)
Yeah, but that's... there's so much more nuance.
Spencer (56:49.609)
And that does still stand. But I remember I brought up, like, Jake Gyllenhaal is trained in mixed martial arts. So he has the ground game, which...
Chris (56:58.154)
Yeah.
Luciano (57:00.037)
Yeah, we did talk about that.
Chris (57:01.834)
He's got to get him to the ground though. And that's the thing. Swayze's got the distance. He can keep that distance, right? He can use the jab, use the legs, go for the feet.
Spencer (57:06.601)
Every fight starts on the feet.
Luciano (57:12.549)
The thing is, Suizi Dalton only uses the throat removal procedure when he's being faced with a gun.
Matt (57:22.79)
And been told he fucked people like him in prison.
Spencer (57:25.033)
Yeah, yeah. But we could...
Luciano (57:25.829)
true.
Chris (57:26.634)
Let's be honest, we know Jake Gyllenhaal's been fucking guys in prison. We know that. Look at the way he - No.
Luciano (57:31.813)
Yeah, but he wouldn't pull a gun on him. Yeah, it needs both things.
Matt (57:35.782)
What if the gun was his penis?
Spencer (57:35.913)
we plant a gun on him? Sorry. That could happen. That could happen. I will...
Chris (57:39.274)
That's true. Clap that. Registered.
Luciano (57:44.581)
Wait, no.
Chris (57:45.546)
the states I guess.
Spencer (57:48.457)
I'm just gonna ignore all this.
Matt (57:49.702)
I mean, in Florida it's concealed in Cary, so it's fine.
Chris (57:52.138)
Right. It's in sales and carry. Yeah, you're good. You're good.
Spencer (57:55.273)
Also, weight classes exist for a reason. I would say that like watching this now, like I didn't know Patrick Swayze in this movie is probably like a buck seventy tops. And and Jake Gyllenhaal was like a cut, probably 210, like at least 200. So.
Luciano (57:58.213)
Yeah, it's true.
Luciano (58:04.549)
Yeah.
Luciano (58:09.061)
I, yeah.
Chris (58:12.49)
Do we, are we allowing surprise turns in this? Because I feel like the townspeople would come to like, you know, like the townspeople would get involved. They would come in and help Swayze because of that swagger. Ain't no one helping Jake Gyllenhaal. No. No.
Luciano (58:16.261)
I'm surprised that we changed the game now.
Spencer (58:27.145)
Nobody's helping Jake Gyllenhaal, that's for sure. No, but this is a one -on -one fight. There's no assistance.
Luciano (58:30.213)
Yeah.
Matt (58:33.062)
What? But maybe there's a special guest referee.
Chris (58:37.641)
Hmm.
Luciano (58:37.957)
Who? Brad Wesley?
Spencer (58:39.081)
Wesley?
Matt (58:39.494)
Brad Wesley.
Chris (58:42.314)
Terry Funk comes in just smashing chairs on people. Or smashing people through chairs.
Matt (58:46.118)
Also an option. Yeah.
Luciano (58:48.901)
In that case, both Dalton's would kill Terry Funk first and then continue fighting each other later.
Matt (58:54.854)
This is, you know what Luciano, I'm going to stop here because this is great. Both Dalton's working together and I think this is the time to ask the question because it confused me, but I think both Dalton's would do this. What does going nipple to nipple mean exactly?
Luciano (59:08.933)
Well, if we're talking about both Dalton's it's a No, I was gonna say it's a fight slash sex move, but I don't think our audience is ready for it I'm not ready for it
Chris (59:15.242)
Do it. You know what to do.
Chris (59:20.586)
Oh, what, okay, that's.
Chris (59:24.842)
So, well then, when we're talking Daltons, okay, we're talking Daltons Square, you need to make sure that Jeff Healy is supplying the musical background, yes, yes, yes. And then Terry Funk needs to break two bottles crisscross atop two chairs, wait for it. And then when you have a Jimmy and a Knox,
Spencer (59:26.377)
No one's ready for it.
Spencer (59:40.841)
Yeah, yeah, let them cook.
Chris (59:54.41)
step to the plate, the dog nipple to nipple technique allows for a fusion. Dog fusion.
Luciano (01:00:00.165)
Well, I think if Jimmy and Knox are there, then it's a four way nipple to nipple thing. They form a nipple square. No, no, it's a connection in 404. An octo nipple, yes.
Spencer (01:00:00.553)
Oh. Oh.
Spencer (01:00:12.073)
You mean, you mean eight nipples.
Matt (01:00:17.285)
Arco nipple?
Chris (01:00:17.642)
I'm not comfortable with this.
That's a lot. You can't, you don't know what's going on with the nibbles. Some nibbles may be shaved, some nibbles may have hair, some nibbles might have some, some, I don't even want to get that.
Spencer (01:00:30.153)
We know these nipples are both shaved. We've seen them.
Luciano (01:00:32.453)
For sure, 100%. Yeah, we saw those too. Yeah.
Chris (01:00:34.058)
Talking about the Knox and Jimmy. You don't know what Jimmy's nipples are doing.
Spencer (01:00:36.713)
Yeah, we know Knox is shaved. Okay, Jimmy, I'll give you a wild card.
Matt (01:00:39.974)
Jimmy's nipples are not. Yeah.
Luciano (01:00:41.221)
Jimmy has hair for all the other three combined.
Chris (01:00:43.914)
I know what Knox is Jimmy's doing. You know Knox is not wearing pants in this scenario at all.
Luciano (01:00:47.173)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:00:52.965)
Yeah, well, as he shouldn't.
Spencer (01:00:54.217)
If you're going nipple to nipple with Knox, you're also going tip to tip. That just comes with the territory.
Luciano (01:00:58.725)
Yeah.
Chris (01:00:58.89)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:00:59.174)
Heheheheh
Luciano (01:01:01.221)
Yeah.
Matt (01:01:02.566)
implied, yeah.
Spencer (01:01:03.561)
Yeah.
Chris (01:01:03.978)
I believe the children call it docking.
Matt (01:01:06.31)
They might. They might.
Spencer (01:01:07.305)
Was that needed? I think, but I think the... No. I mean, in this movie though, I genuinely, when he's, cause the guy asks him to go nipple to nipple. Did he mean dancing? Or banging? No, he said it to a girl.
Luciano (01:01:07.397)
They might.
Was any of this needed?
Matt (01:01:10.278)
encourage.
Chris (01:01:10.378)
What we did was more accurate.
Chris (01:01:15.658)
We have no, we have -
Luciano (01:01:24.645)
I think so. No, it was the guy with the girl. Yeah, he was asking the girl. You were thinking, Matt, you were thinking of going nipple to nipple with Swayze and that's why you got confused.
Matt (01:01:24.966)
What was fifth? Fist dancing.
Chris (01:01:26.314)
horizontal. I thought he was asking the girl. He was making a move.
Matt (01:01:30.438)
Oh yeah!
Spencer (01:01:33.257)
Like missionary sex?
Matt (01:01:37.702)
That's also not fighting. No, I wasn't gonna fight him.
Chris (01:01:39.082)
Some of you were, someone was thinking of that way in at UFC when they get all like nose to nose and start shit talking.
Matt (01:01:45.99)
No, but I like where Spencer's going because it actually gets back to the reason I asked this question. What is going nipple to nipple?
Luciano (01:01:49.701)
Hahaha
Spencer (01:01:52.425)
I think it's dancing.
Luciano (01:01:55.685)
Corkedly. Yeah.
Spencer (01:01:56.393)
up like coquedly and like, like up close, like chest to chest.
Chris (01:01:59.114)
Okay.
Matt (01:02:02.246)
So he meant it as a normal way to say dance and she took it as a... Well that's fair. She took offense and he... He's not good with the words.
Luciano (01:02:05.317)
But not a normal way.
Spencer (01:02:07.337)
She took it, she took offense. Unfairly.
Chris (01:02:10.698)
He defended her, right?
Luciano (01:02:13.637)
Yeah. I love that scene because too, you can see the bouncer step back and look and it's just waiting for the guy to do something so you can break his arm and toss him over a table.
Matt (01:02:25.734)
Cochlearly.
Chris (01:02:25.994)
gotta work his stats up.
Luciano (01:02:26.629)
Yeah, it's true.
Spencer (01:02:28.233)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. You gotta bump those numbers up.
Matt (01:02:28.934)
It's good. You need a couple easy home runs, right? Love pitches over the middle. Just smash them. That's great. No, it's fine. We're working through some issues over here. Sports and father issues. Don't worry about it. Hey, Chris, do you have another idea of what nipple to nipple could be if not dancing?
Luciano (01:02:33.573)
Oh fuck, this again.
Spencer (01:02:38.953)
sports.
Luciano (01:02:40.165)
Sports ball, yeah.
Chris (01:02:41.226)
sports, sports, sports, sports.
Chris (01:02:49.77)
Well, I well, okay, so first week so my first answer was fighting right fusion Dalton fusion fighting then we said dancing and then there's obviously sex but then there's another there is another Untact region that we are Yes, nipple to nipple. I'm gonna get close to the microphone on this I got nothing
Matt (01:03:01.35)
Mm -hmm. Great.
Spencer (01:03:06.345)
But there was another.
Matt (01:03:12.23)
Great. Spencer, Spencer, your rebuttal.
Spencer (01:03:14.985)
Okay, wow, what a setup. Okay, I hear your point there, but I don't think the fourth thing is nothing. I think it's.
Chris (01:03:18.186)
We're trying to buy you all time.
Spencer (01:03:27.593)
I too have nothing.
Luciano (01:03:30.117)
See, this is why I said we weren't ready.
Matt (01:03:30.214)
Great.
Chris (01:03:31.467)
This is the volleyball setup where with someone the chosen one will arrive.
Matt (01:03:32.984)
No, no, no, no, no, I think...
Spencer (01:03:36.873)
I rest my case. But Luciano knows. That's why I wanted him to say it.
Matt (01:03:39.462)
No no no, it was a very specific order to do these things. Even having a very aggressive back and forth, a debate style if you will. Chris, do you have a response?
Spencer (01:03:43.849)
Sorry.
Chris (01:03:51.082)
We're trying to tease this out as they say. Okay. Nipple to nipple. Okay. Teta, tet, teta, tet. Nipple to nipple is when you apply Juergens hydrating lotion upon each other in support of their identity.
Matt (01:03:53.67)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you will.
Luciano (01:03:55.493)
Tits this out.
Matt (01:04:07.878)
You know what? You know what? This was a mistake. I apologize to the audience. I was dragging something and it just didn't play out as possible. We'll probably delete this all so you'll never hear it, so it'll be fine. Yeah, fine.
Luciano (01:04:09.285)
See, he was. Yeah.
Chris (01:04:12.074)
I won't be what my original answer was.
Chris (01:04:17.258)
Hold on, I actually do have something here. Maybe that's how you get sized at JCPenney. Nipple to nipple. Nipple to nipple.
Luciano (01:04:17.797)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:04:26.949)
Ah, who's the other pair?
Matt (01:04:28.614)
Great, great answer. No, we're sticking, no, no, no, it's just.
Spencer (01:04:33.193)
I have a rebuttal. No, no, just kidding.
Matt (01:04:34.534)
No
Chris (01:04:34.762)
What could it be though? What is the remodel?
Luciano (01:04:35.589)
You did this Matt! You made this bad, now you lay on it!
Matt (01:04:37.574)
No, no, no, it's no. The thing is that Matt's question, her answer of doing a JCPenney is the perfect segue into the next question. Next question I want to ask you guys about is the double deuce in the Roadhouse for Transformers. Who would win a fight?
Spencer (01:04:54.985)
hahahaha
Chris (01:04:57.738)
Completely was not I was so not prepared Oh my god, please need so It's so
Spencer (01:04:59.689)
What a perfect beautiful segue.
Luciano (01:05:05.029)
It's so natural there might not have even been a segue.
Spencer (01:05:08.201)
So I just thought, Matt, I just have a question. Is JCPenney not a transformer in this battle?
Matt (01:05:15.878)
Do you think? You would think, but no. It's different. So it's a different thing. I can't explain the science to you right now.
Luciano (01:05:16.389)
The world is your oyster.
Spencer (01:05:18.281)
But no, okay, I got you.
Luciano (01:05:24.517)
Hahaha!
Spencer (01:05:24.969)
No, I think it's inferred. I mean, I would like to think that if these robots, I'm sorry, if these house bars were, house bar, if these house bots were in a transformer battle, I'd like, I'm pretty sure the double deuce would win because it would fight dirty, right?
Luciano (01:05:32.997)
How's but? How's but?
Chris (01:05:41.866)
Oh. Oh yeah.
Luciano (01:05:43.077)
Well, no, it would win because it would give road house some venereal disease for sure. Just for, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah, they are.
Spencer (01:05:48.937)
Wait, they're not paying, they're fighting. They're going nipple to nipple.
Chris (01:05:53.962)
See there go VV Roadhouse got a fast roof. All right, that ain't gonna hold up nowhere. You've got a weak spot right there. We're gonna take your head off.
Spencer (01:05:54.921)
Hehehehe
Luciano (01:05:59.141)
Yeah, yes that's true. What is that? That roof would be the back right? Probably it would just be a huge like weak spot.
Spencer (01:05:59.721)
Yeah.
Chris (01:06:06.922)
Yeah, you - you -
Spencer (01:06:10.505)
Yeah, that frickin' new roadhouse is like a tiki bar. It's not a fuckin' fight, it's not a fighter. It would -
Luciano (01:06:13.093)
Yeah!
Chris (01:06:13.514)
Yeah, it's still open. Yeah. So what then is the new Roadhouse Tiki Bot? Tiki, we'll call it Tiki for short. Tiki Bot. Tiki Bot. So then is that Roadhouse the sandal wearing, hacky sack kicking, man bun having, patchouli wearing equivalent in this?
Luciano (01:06:16.357)
No.
Spencer (01:06:23.177)
Tiki -bot?
Luciano (01:06:24.613)
The Tiki Bot.
Luciano (01:06:39.973)
Poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo -poo
Spencer (01:06:42.761)
transformer.
Chris (01:06:43.594)
Transformer. Yeah, it hangs out with it hangs out with the book house.
Spencer (01:06:45.513)
Yes, and the Roadhouse is
Luciano (01:06:47.749)
It works on us. It's a barista at Starbucks. It only serves oatmeal lattes. And yes.
Spencer (01:06:54.985)
and they're nine dollars. And the Roadhouse one is you're crack smokin', drug dealin', knife shankin', just got out of prison with Jimmy.
Chris (01:06:57.354)
We're at the end of.
Luciano (01:07:09.989)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:07:10.185)
motherfucking death bot.
Luciano (01:07:13.541)
from Detroit, from Detroit.
Chris (01:07:13.674)
Yeah, so what you're saying is it can't sit down properly.
Spencer (01:07:16.457)
Yeah, what I'm saying is its exhaust hole is his exhaust port has been overworked
Chris (01:07:21.194)
and well used.
Matt (01:07:22.278)
Sorry, how are these transformers fighting? I just wanted to declare.
Spencer (01:07:25.705)
They're fighting, well, it's not really a fight, it's more of an assassination.
Luciano (01:07:33.189)
Yeah, beatdown. Yeah.
Matt (01:07:34.758)
of
Spencer (01:07:36.649)
It's more of a mugging gone wrong.
Chris (01:07:38.25)
Yeah, no, that Tiki Hut wouldn't -
Matt (01:07:39.014)
The double deuce. Yeah.
Spencer (01:07:40.873)
The double dues of course. Tiki bot is that we've referred to would be made of short work.
Luciano (01:07:41.733)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Matt (01:07:47.91)
Alright, you've answered my question. No follow ups. Going down the fight thing, I do have a couple more fights if you will. Challenges, some might say. Who went in a fight between Dr. Elizabeth Clay, Kelly Lynch, the old doctor. Old doc versus Ellie, new doc in the new Shittier movie.
Luciano (01:07:49.733)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:08:06.249)
Old Doc.
Spencer (01:08:13.353)
I'm gonna have to pass on this question because I don't recall the new doc, I don't believe that character existed, and I pass.
Luciano (01:08:19.109)
Well, I would say the new dock wins just because she has more moxie.
Chris (01:08:24.298)
She does get into fights, but then again, the old doc was dating the other guy and we saw some shiners so you know she can take a punch.
Luciano (01:08:25.381)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:08:33.417)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:08:33.477)
Wow. I... I... Okay. So what you're saying is she's good at getting beaten. That doesn't win you a fight.
Chris (01:08:34.026)
So.
So I don't know, really.
Chris (01:08:43.594)
Well, I mean, I didn't say she was just like good at it. I just said that if she was dating that guy, she probably has, you know, had to dodge and duck and weave a few times. And, you know, the other one was throwing punches on the boat.
Matt (01:08:43.686)
Wow, I don't want to be here.
Spencer (01:08:46.825)
I don't -
Luciano (01:08:52.037)
Yeah.
Matt (01:08:55.11)
First of all, Brad Wessie didn't hit anybody.
Spencer (01:08:58.185)
That is all circumstantial.
Luciano (01:08:59.621)
Here say almost slender.
Matt (01:08:59.814)
That's circumstantial. Technically, I'm certain one of his goons will say they hit her.
Luciano (01:09:08.837)
They probably would actually. Yeah.
Spencer (01:09:09.609)
I'm pretty sure they'd all say she walked into a door.
Matt (01:09:13.606)
Also true, so many witnesses, who knows what happened.
Spencer (01:09:16.073)
So I have a gang of witnesses. Cody saw it all. Cody?
Chris (01:09:18.506)
Just ask Cody.
Chris (01:09:26.346)
Woooo
Spencer (01:09:27.433)
Play the song about how my wife got injured. There was a girl and she walked down the stairs. I'm a blind man but I know what it sounds like.
Matt (01:09:30.758)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:09:38.118)
Ha ha!
Chris (01:09:38.346)
But you're making me cry, you gonna get mur -
Matt (01:09:43.046)
No, no further questions. I'm sure we answered that question somehow.
Chris (01:09:45.45)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:09:46.661)
Somehow, somewhere in there, there was an answer.
Spencer (01:09:47.017)
I think we did.
Matt (01:09:50.086)
Um, more important question, who would win in a drag race? Knox, who will drive literally any car, or Jimmy, who I saw him on a motorcycle, and my brain thinks it was a bicycle, but I know he was moving faster than that.
Chris (01:09:50.378)
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Spencer (01:10:01.001)
Drives a motorcycle?
It was a very slow moving motorcycle.
Luciano (01:10:06.277)
Well, he - he -
Matt (01:10:08.102)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:10:09.637)
Yeah, enough for Patrick Swayze to charge him and jump him. Yeah. He also, he also drives that monster truck really, really slowly.
Spencer (01:10:11.593)
catch him on foot that makes sense that you think it was a bicycle
Matt (01:10:12.774)
Yeah, okay.
Spencer (01:10:20.681)
Oh!
Luciano (01:10:23.109)
I mean, I think we have to say no.
Spencer (01:10:26.793)
but he drives on the wrong side of the road. He's back! Connor, so good having you back. It's an honor. It's unmistakably Connor McGregor.
Luciano (01:10:28.869)
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
Matt (01:10:32.774)
But Irish accent is uncanny.
Chris (01:10:34.794)
We meet.
Luciano (01:10:36.005)
I think I think he would knocks would win and if he lost he would kill Jimmy and say he went he won I think that's what would happen
Chris (01:10:51.722)
Nox would win because he'd be drunk and just blindly hitting the gas. He was in a training car, a kid's training car, doing like 140. I don't know. Yeah, that's why the Dekia would lose because he drove a truck through it.
Luciano (01:10:57.893)
You
Spencer (01:11:00.009)
haha
Luciano (01:11:00.389)
Have you seen the man park? Have you seen that man park?
Spencer (01:11:05.865)
Yeah, but based purely on the cars they drove in the movies, like Knox would win based on his, the car, cause he had a Lamborghini, right? Or a Ferrari?
Matt (01:11:16.87)
Hey, guys, sorry, you're... Why are you talking about cars?
Luciano (01:11:19.717)
in a Mazda.
Chris (01:11:22.858)
Yeah, I was like, I heard that question, I was like, who's wearing, no, thinking who's wearing what? What color of the pump? What? Right. That's true. Too long true. Too long true. Right, right.
Spencer (01:11:23.273)
Ohhhh
Luciano (01:11:25.029)
Are they drag racing on their own?
Matt (01:11:27.334)
No, it's -
Yeah, RuPaul's Drag Race? That's what the question's about.
Spencer (01:11:31.497)
Oh, like RuPaul's drag race. Matt, you said cars. But yes, and I will call Valkyrie.
Luciano (01:11:34.757)
Oh
Yeah, you did say cards. You did say cards.
Matt (01:11:40.742)
I don't recall.
Luciano (01:11:44.581)
Hmm.
Chris (01:11:45.258)
First of all, when it comes down to the walk, when it comes down to the catwalk, Knox is winning hands down. That duck's got wings. Beatty can fly. He can walk that fucking duck. That's what he can do. Exactly.
Matt (01:11:46.086)
I'm gonna edit that out.
Spencer (01:11:48.233)
Heheheheh
Luciano (01:11:57.797)
Well, that's the only way he knows how to walk, as a duck who shot itself. Yeah.
Spencer (01:12:03.465)
Listen, we talked about Connors walking with two invisible basketballs to death. The question is who would win the drag race? And I think the charisma of Knox alone carries us to victory.
Chris (01:12:16.298)
I think Jimmy just lacks the constitution in order to channel his inner diva. No, you need to be in order to...
Spencer (01:12:22.153)
I think you - I don't think you have to confidence.
Matt (01:12:24.806)
I think that Jimmy has the hair to pull off many looks.
Luciano (01:12:32.389)
True, true.
Spencer (01:12:33.897)
That's all he has.
Chris (01:12:35.018)
You could probably paint his face pretty good too. I imagine you'd do a good job. Shotgun full of paint. True.
Matt (01:12:40.166)
I mean, Jimmy did fuck guys in prison.
Luciano (01:12:41.957)
I was gonna say he's too, but he's too, he was too busy fucking guys in prison.
Spencer (01:12:43.081)
That has nothing to do with drag racing.
Chris (01:12:43.178)
And you can't do that if you don't look good though. You know what I mean? Even prison standards. Yeah.
Matt (01:12:48.806)
That's pure confidence.
Spencer (01:12:51.497)
No, no, no, no, no. He got it all wrong. Conor McGregor, I mean Knox, he could pull off any outfit. He was wearing whatever he wants. And yeah, he's walking around naked. Yeah, that shows the confidence he has in his looks.
Luciano (01:12:55.941)
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
Luciano (01:13:01.541)
He was, he was mostly nothing, yeah.
Chris (01:13:01.898)
which was mostly nothing.
Matt (01:13:04.134)
Yeah, he wasn't wearing anything.
So it's a one note confidence.
Spencer (01:13:10.921)
No, no, that shows if you're if you're doing a drag race, you got to be able to strut and he could strut his stuff. I feel like I feel like. I'm going to be I'm going to be real here. I think Jimmy Jimmy's toxic masculinity would hurt him in this. I think he'd be.
Chris (01:13:12.042)
I disagree.
Yes.
Luciano (01:13:16.613)
I don't know if stress is the word I'd use. Hobble. Hobble maybe.
Matt (01:13:20.038)
minutes.
Chris (01:13:25.834)
You need to have an air of grace.
Spencer (01:13:28.521)
Yeah, I think he'd be too uncomfortable. He'd be feel like he's not looking like a macho man and he wouldn't be able to pull it off. Isn't that right, Conor McGregor? He's back! Thank you for your time, sir. It's an honor.
Luciano (01:13:37.605)
Ha, that's right. Ha. I didn't even try that.
Matt (01:13:43.302)
Chris, rough battle.
Chris (01:13:45.93)
I'm just wanting to... I'm not arguing for Jimmy because Knox, again, and like aside from the walk, we need to consider the different rounds. There's the speech, the Q &A section, there's the evening wear, okay, the gowns that need to be... So don't forget, don't forget...
Spencer (01:13:46.697)
Yeah, that's like a pure normal accent.
Luciano (01:13:48.741)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:14:06.853)
And we saw, we saw Conor McGregor, sorry, Knox in a gown, a hospital gown, but still.
Matt (01:14:12.454)
Hey, um, Chris, you know that Drag Race isn't fucking Miss America, right?
Spencer (01:14:18.697)
Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, Chris. Okay.
Chris (01:14:19.338)
Don't worry about that. We still want to know who was in there and why. That's right.
Luciano (01:14:21.061)
Don't worry about that. Don't worry about the question you asked. I'm gonna answer my own.
Spencer (01:14:25.129)
I also, just to add on to Chris, I don't think you could do any of those challenges without a throat. So that will hinder him.
Matt (01:14:31.238)
Fair enough.
Chris (01:14:32.97)
Hmm. That's strong technicality, but strong. The defense rests.
Matt (01:14:39.046)
Matt, can you defend Jimmy? Please.
Chris (01:14:41.834)
can. I mean, this is the thing should you the man puts himself together well, like let's be honest, he's got the smolder. He's got the he's got the tan. So he know you know, he's got what he's got is a taint. You know that he's got the skincare program. He's got the hair. I think he could do it. I do think he could do it. I think he's he's a way way more of that like tall, slender kind of frame.
Spencer (01:14:44.073)
But I won't.
Chris (01:15:09.386)
doesn't look like a little bulldog smuggling napkins in his butt cheeks like that.
Spencer (01:15:14.601)
Good description. It's a very good description.
Luciano (01:15:15.685)
It is.
Chris (01:15:16.522)
I think he'd kill that. I think you guys don't give him enough credit. You play it.
Spencer (01:15:20.265)
You know what? You're swaying me a little bit, Matt, because I remember when Jimmy used a pool cue and flipped up onto the stage. That showed some showmanship.
Matt (01:15:22.79)
Great answer.
Chris (01:15:26.378)
Yeah. Right. He needed the big fat guy though. I mean, as a stone. Drag is not a contact sport. Yes it is. What?
Spencer (01:15:33.545)
Don't we all? Yeah, Matt, Matt did that. Sorry, Matt. He's the fat henchman. Remember.
Matt (01:15:40.966)
I'm the fat hatchman. Yeah, I did that obviously. Let's move on from this question because I don't like where it's headed for me personally.
Chris (01:15:42.89)
Yeah, right.
We dissected it.
Spencer (01:15:47.113)
Thank you.
Matt (01:15:51.302)
It's too far. Listen guys, Amazon is going to make a prestige series of this movie. And it's actually going to cover the formation of Brad Wesley's gang. We got the fat guy, the tall guy, Jimmy, the scaredy guy, his nephew. So like, what are these episodes? You know, what's the eight episodes? Real high prestige level, Game of Thrones shit. What are these episodes about?
Luciano (01:15:57.413)
Of course they are.
Luciano (01:16:08.805)
His nephew.
Spencer (01:16:09.609)
His nephew, yeah.
Luciano (01:16:20.485)
So I think because those characters are so rich and full of history and nuance, each of the first five episodes is just him recruiting one of them, telling their backstories and their reason de tres, if you will, and what really drives them as human beings. And really just getting bread, learning about them getting under their skin, being really like...
really expertly driving them so that they want to join this gang. So that those are exactly Brad power.
Matt (01:16:56.646)
Like a good leader.
Spencer (01:16:58.825)
Yeah, I like it. And we all know that he meets Jimmy in prison, but where does he meet the others?
Chris (01:17:05.802)
JCPenney.
Spencer (01:17:08.521)
All four of them. Four separate episodes, different chasing penny locations.
Luciano (01:17:09.893)
Yeah, they were shopping together.
Matt (01:17:09.926)
in different JCPenney's.
Chris (01:17:15.754)
from different, each one a master of a JCPenney department. So you've got plumbing, attire, you have sports attire. I've been trying to find the names of these motherfuckers and I can't. That guy, nice guy, coward guy, nephew guy. So is that five? Five?
Luciano (01:17:20.101)
Oh.
Matt (01:17:20.358)
Perfect.
Matt (01:17:24.422)
Hey, which person for which section, Chris? Don't leave it out. Don't worry about it. It's the fat guy, the tall guy, the nephew. Yeah. And tall guy. And Jimmy. Yeah. Jimmy, tall guy, nephew, fat guy, coward guy.
Luciano (01:17:26.405)
Yeah, which person is which?
What names is the f -
Spencer (01:17:33.065)
The fat guy.
Luciano (01:17:35.173)
Coward guy, nephew guy, and Jimmy.
Spencer (01:17:38.089)
Coward guy.
Chris (01:17:44.97)
Great, so we know where Jimmy's from. Fat guy was in kitchenware and plates and fridges. Coward guy, he was in vacuums because he sucks. Listen, don't worry about it. I know, I was confused by this too. Go fuck your logic, you asked the question I feel it is.
Luciano (01:17:50.853)
Obviously.
Matt (01:17:50.95)
Make sense?
Matt (01:17:57.638)
Mm -hmm.
Spencer (01:17:57.737)
I thought JCPenney was close. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. That's right.
Luciano (01:18:01.253)
I was gonna say, but let's roll with it.
Matt (01:18:03.686)
Yeah, it's a prequel. It's a prequel of 1989. JCPenney's are everywhere.
Chris (01:18:08.65)
JCPenney might've had a team up with Sears for all we know, because they existed back then.
Luciano (01:18:15.173)
Oh, too soon. Too soon. Yeah, you are. Yes, you are. You started, you finish it.
Chris (01:18:15.722)
I'm not doing all these by myself. I can keep going. Hi!
Spencer (01:18:15.881)
Searsburn. Yeah, we're waiting. You're doing...
Matt (01:18:16.55)
Chris. Alright, no, no. No, no. Other Matt can finish the other two. Or three.
Luciano (01:18:22.021)
Okay.
Chris (01:18:22.474)
Which are the other two? Where are we left off? Fat guy? No. Uh, knife guy and nephew. We got knife guy? Coward? Oh no. Nephew and coward. Tall guy. I said tall guy was... You said coward was in vacuum because he sucked. Yeah, I did say that. Oh, there's another one. So there's really tall guy and then there's knife guy, right?
Spencer (01:18:25.545)
You got fat guy and tall guy, you still need nephew and... I don't...
Luciano (01:18:30.405)
Coward. Nephew went coward.
Matt (01:18:31.398)
and CowardGuy.
Matt (01:18:36.07)
No no no, tall guy and coward are different guys.
Spencer (01:18:36.105)
No, you already said tall guy. Oh, oh, that's right. There's tall guy, really tall guy. That's right.
Matt (01:18:44.934)
No, no, no, no, the coward guy is the tall guy. Yeah, they're all the same guy. I don't know how that works.
Luciano (01:18:45.861)
Yeah, he's the knife guy.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait. There is one really tall guy that fights when he's bringing the beer from some other place. Then there's the tall guy who's the coward guy who gets kneed in the nuts.
Matt (01:18:54.694)
Yes.
Matt (01:18:58.214)
Yes. Yeah.
Chris (01:18:58.986)
He's the greeter.
Matt (01:19:01.67)
No, we're not, we're not... Tall guy, the other guy's a coward guy, don't... He's not... He's... He's just a little tall. He's not like tall guy tall. What are we doing here?
Luciano (01:19:05.381)
Yeah, coward guy, that's what I'm saying.
Spencer (01:19:06.121)
Yeah, what?
Chris (01:19:06.794)
What's that? I answered coward guy.
You're talking about the dude who looks like like Lurch like the guys like eight feet tall, right? The dude who wanted to see Sam Elliott's dick. That's the guy we're talking about. Okay. He's the greeter. He's the guy you meet when you walk in and he's got the vest on and you go nipple to nipple. That's the dude who's there.
Luciano (01:19:11.365)
Fair fair fair fair.
Luciano (01:19:16.165)
Yeah, so that's Tull Guy.
Matt (01:19:16.23)
That's all, yeah, he gets it.
Matt (01:19:20.678)
Correct. That's Tall Guy.
Luciano (01:19:21.061)
Yes.
Matt (01:19:26.95)
Thank you. Yep. Well, that's really hard to go nipple nipple with him, but I get you. Thank you. Okay. And then we forgot. And then. Nephew. Tell us how you met nephew.
Luciano (01:19:31.237)
No, he carries you, it's fine.
Spencer (01:19:31.241)
Yeah, you get any
Chris (01:19:33.706)
Yeah, so I would say he's a greeter. Sexually they call him a hanging garden. Nephew guy.
Spencer (01:19:35.113)
Sounds nice.
Luciano (01:19:38.021)
Nephew guy.
Chris (01:19:43.722)
He told us that, didn't he? He's like, my kid, my sister...
Luciano (01:19:43.877)
Well, you see...
Spencer (01:19:45.577)
Nope, nope. At which JCPenney's location?
Matt (01:19:46.438)
He did not.
Chris (01:19:50.026)
I would say yeah, he was probably in - he had that comically large knife, right? Like, the knife is the size of his face. Like, he pulls it out and it's just, ooo! This is a knife! Yeah?
Spencer (01:19:58.601)
saying sporting goods?
Matt (01:19:58.662)
It's probably good.
Luciano (01:19:59.237)
Oh, so he met him in JCPenney, Australia? Is that what you're saying?
Chris (01:20:02.602)
Probably like in the camping section and whatnot. He was like, he was whittling. Yeah, he was probably just sitting there whittling. And he said to me, like, what do you make in there, son? He says, I'm making a smaller stick. And he's like, this boy is special. In the head.
Luciano (01:20:07.877)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Spencer (01:20:07.881)
Do they have a bar? Do they have a bar?
Luciano (01:20:17.349)
This boy is my nephew now. No, he says this boy is my nephew now.
Spencer (01:20:17.897)
And he said, who are you making it for? My uncle?
Chris (01:20:21.226)
This is part of he is part of my lineage and they'll say well, that's your nephew and he says I thought he was my cousin. Oh No, wait, he's my son brother. I'm not sure but I think I have a wonderful place For this man within my organization You can count right?
Luciano (01:20:32.933)
How do blood relations work?
Matt (01:20:43.494)
Great. Thank you.
Spencer (01:20:45.417)
And then the rest of the show is him. I think it would be like a Boardwalk Empire sort of story taking over the town. Prestige HBO television.
Luciano (01:20:55.109)
Yeah. Preparing to bring JCPenney into the city.
Chris (01:21:00.362)
sleeping with his mother. I think that happened in Boardwalk.
Spencer (01:21:00.745)
Yeah. And that's actually, it actually makes sense because that's why he hired all these JCPenney affiliates because his end goal was to bring JCPenney to the town.
Luciano (01:21:03.621)
Probably.
Matt (01:21:08.422)
Right. To bring it. And that's so the the last episode of the season is JC Penney. We're coming to town.
Chris (01:21:10.186)
3C Penny there, yeah.
Chris (01:21:18.314)
Yup.
Spencer (01:21:18.345)
And then he gets a note saying there's a new bartender. Or new bouncer, sorry, new bouncer.
Luciano (01:21:22.405)
Yeah, we won't know the guy from JCPenney say we were ready to move, but there's this new cooler coming in. We're not going to move until he's out.
Matt (01:21:26.47)
Cooler.
Chris (01:21:35.242)
Listen, we like our town greasy. If you've ever been to a JCPenney, it's accurate.
Spencer (01:21:36.201)
the...
Luciano (01:21:37.829)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:21:43.206)
I'm into JCPenney but it's greasy as fuuuuck.
Spencer (01:21:44.809)
We have one rule here at JCPenney. It's gotta be dirty, it's gotta be messy, gotta be stavins, gotta be killins. No coolers.
Luciano (01:21:45.957)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:21:46.186)
What?
We've created a wonderful arc. Yep. Yep. Floppy. What's the name of this prestige show? I can't get B -D -E out of my head. All I can think of now is it's like JCPenney being like, we want our town, like we want our jeans. Low.
Luciano (01:22:00.165)
Yeah, that's the name.
Luciano (01:22:07.013)
low and greasy.
Spencer (01:22:09.257)
Low bedazzled.
Chris (01:22:11.242)
Preferably a whale tail.
Spencer (01:22:16.329)
Um, you know, the show's called Wesley.
That's it. It's called Wesley's Wishes.
Chris (01:22:23.146)
Yeah. Wesley's dreams. Oh, okay. Yeah.
Luciano (01:22:24.261)
Just Wesley. Just Wesley. Wesley.
Matt (01:22:28.07)
Wesley and the Wesley boys.
Um, we've answered this question thoroughly. One last question before we get our reviews. Two third of one, I'd say. One last question. The old guys from the town read.
Spencer (01:22:37.417)
too thoroughly.
Luciano (01:22:38.181)
Yeah, some would say.
Chris (01:22:39.05)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:22:47.237)
the ones who teleported into the living room?
Matt (01:22:50.054)
The guy who owns the deuce. The car ownership guy. Other dude.
Chris (01:22:50.73)
Instant transmission.
Chris (01:22:57.482)
Come again.
Spencer (01:22:57.513)
Yep. My favorite character. Other dude.
Matt (01:22:58.502)
They all, they all allegedly shoot Wesley.
Chris (01:23:07.978)
On what? On what?
Luciano (01:23:08.261)
Allegedly, yes.
Matt (01:23:09.702)
So they say that they didn't see anything and so the sheriff has to book them essentially because they are all there with a dead body. But how do these old guys argue that in fact this was a Brad Wesley took his own life scenario?
Spencer (01:23:29.449)
Oh.
Matt (01:23:30.182)
for their defense to get out of going to jail.
Luciano (01:23:32.485)
Wait, what? Oh, you see there, your honor, he shot himself in the back 17 times. I know. That's whatever.
Spencer (01:23:33.865)
That's their defense.
No, he got himself in the front.
Matt (01:23:39.814)
He got shot in the front every single time. Second of all, you are defending these old gentlemen in court. Bride was he died by suicide.
Chris (01:23:40.266)
In the front. In the front. Yeah.
Chris (01:23:47.658)
That's right.
Luciano (01:23:48.261)
Okay.
Chris (01:23:51.082)
Yes.
Spencer (01:23:51.401)
Okay, I'm going to be the Southern lawyer. Now I'm no big city lawyer. I'm just a small man from Jasper, Alabama. And you may look at the evidence. You may see the ballistics of four different shotguns shooting this man. And you may say, from four different angles, with four people in the room with him. And you may say, and you met...
Luciano (01:23:54.853)
I do declare.
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:24:12.581)
from four different angles.
Spencer (01:24:20.649)
assume as fools you are Yeah that he was somehow murdered and let me tell you this let me tell you something Any man worth his salt could shoot himself with four different guns at once My uncle killed himself with no less than seven different revolvers You could ask him he's still alive so I rest my case
Chris (01:24:23.21)
boys wearing suspenders.
Chris (01:24:46.378)
you
Matt (01:24:51.046)
Listen, that's a very strong case. That is a great argument. But should we get another maybe just to thoroughly cover this topic?
Luciano (01:24:51.397)
If the shot fits, you must acquit.
Chris (01:25:06.73)
We all know, thank you, thank you. I may be a small time intern in Mr. Spencer's office, small time intern on his office, but I think what the jury also needs to take into account is Mr. Wesley was a coca -fied sinner. Have you seen the animals in his dwelling? I'll tell you.
Spencer (01:25:14.313)
Everyone's small time.
Spencer (01:25:30.217)
Ah!
Chris (01:25:36.874)
There are 17 of them. Why did he have a white bear? Racism. Do you know what happens to the spirit of a living creature when you take it unwittingly?
Spencer (01:25:42.025)
Mmm.
Spencer (01:25:50.633)
Projection. Badgering the victim. The corpse. Yeah.
Chris (01:25:54.09)
Who is the victim? Who is the victim?
Matt (01:25:57.286)
Brad Wesley was a saint!
Chris (01:26:00.97)
I say unto you, look within yourselves. Ask yourself, what would you do if you were the polar bear? Would you inhabit his body?
Luciano (01:26:14.309)
That was literally four accents in one sentence. I'm impressed.
Matt (01:26:17.894)
I really enjoy the accent work and I really enjoy that Chris basically invoked the Chewbacca defense from South Park by not actually saying anything about Bradley Westing or people being murdered. Well, you're concluded. I conclude for you. That was very strong. Spencer, would you like to rebuke?
Spencer (01:26:18.409)
Heheheheh
Spencer (01:26:26.089)
Yes.
Chris (01:26:31.434)
I did not say I concluded.
Luciano (01:26:34.437)
I'm concluding for you!
Spencer (01:26:34.761)
Yo, yo, you're done.
Spencer (01:26:44.073)
We're arguing the same thing, but I will rebuke my intern here. He is just a small -time, part -time intern, and although he may be a sinner, our case stands formally on the case that this could have also been a terrible, terrible accident. Now, suicide is the most likely result of this case to y 'all, not here today, but he was an avid hunter.
Luciano (01:26:45.317)
Yeah!
Matt (01:26:45.51)
Repetition.
Chris (01:26:45.642)
We're on the same side!
Matt (01:26:50.214)
I'm gonna go.
Spencer (01:27:13.481)
As my intern did say, and no, no, no, Alan Rickman is not here. No, I say, excuse me, I had a frog in my throat. I say, and everyone knows he kept his rifles loaded on the walls at different angles. Now, my uncle was shot by loaded rifles that he kept on his hunting wall. You can ask him, he's alive to this day.
Luciano (01:27:14.629)
Uh oh, uh oh, Alan Rickman's coming out.
Matt (01:27:18.15)
Hello? Whoa.
Chris (01:27:23.754)
I've witnessed...
Matt (01:27:41.158)
You know what? I think I need to stop doing this.
Spencer (01:27:45.641)
I object. I rest my case, your honor. I rest my case. Uh oh.
Matt (01:27:47.206)
I think... I... You know what?
Chris (01:27:48.874)
I would say, may I interject here, your honor? I would say that we must treat all these witnesses as hostile. They are not truthful elders. They are not known for their truth. So I put it upon myself to speak to the most honorable man in this whole town.
Matt (01:27:53.35)
Oh.
Matt (01:27:59.686)
I don't know.
Matt (01:28:03.398)
Sustained!
Matt (01:28:11.814)
I'm listening.
Chris (01:28:12.202)
Cody, will you please come in here today? Cody, do you see the man in front of you? I do not.
Luciano (01:28:18.245)
I did. I do. I do. I see him. I see him with these eyes.
Spencer (01:28:18.697)
I do not!
Chris (01:28:23.242)
Would you see what happened to these men? I can't - I can - I cannot say I do, sir.
Luciano (01:28:25.989)
I did, I did.
Chris (01:28:32.202)
I rest my case. Who said that?
Spencer (01:28:34.377)
Shabadoodabadoobadab... slow blue.
Luciano (01:28:37.605)
Wow. What is one step beyond the Chewbacca defense? That's what that was. The Han Solo defense.
Chris (01:28:39.466)
Who said that?
Chris (01:28:49.898)
I do see. It's true. The truth. They see the truth with their heart.
Matt (01:28:53.99)
You know, that's probably enough blasphemy for one episode of this podcast.
Spencer (01:28:56.457)
No, I just want to say, I want to attack the defendant. Mr. Jeff, Mr. Healy here is a known coke abuser who his eyes are fundamentally not working. And that right there is a Healy fact. I rest my case, your honor.
Chris (01:29:13.77)
Who said that?
Matt (01:29:15.206)
gonna go ahead and delete that from the podcast. Let's talk about our reviews. You do that on your own time, sir. The reviews for this movie. Thank you. I'll stop. We review all our movies using an S tier system, S being the highest, F being the lowest Spencer. If you only listen to once in your life, you would know that immediately and not say E by an accident. Yes, I was listening and that's why you're fired.
Luciano (01:29:19.909)
I wish I could delete it from my brain.
Chris (01:29:25.482)
in the draw.
Spencer (01:29:42.697)
Listen, maybe I think there's one too many letters. I say, I say!
Luciano (01:29:44.581)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:29:48.426)
I'm not a big city lawyer with all them book learning down at the book house.
Luciano (01:29:49.285)
Oh no.
Matt (01:29:49.51)
I'm gonna go to bed.
Spencer (01:29:51.881)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:29:53.765)
With all them letters.
Matt (01:29:58.822)
Let's do these reviews. Chris, why don't you start us off first?
Chris (01:30:03.53)
We started at what we thought was the top of this movie going experience with 2024's Roadhouse starring one, Conor McGregor, coquettly with that. And we thought we descended. We thought we came back from that mountain down to a simple town full with simple people. But let me tell you, we found gold at the bottom of that hill. And that gold was this movie. The gold was the movie.
I don't understand how... Actually, I don't need to understand. I'm grateful that we watched it in the order that we did because this movie is exactly how Roadhouse... It is what it is and the current one completely lost sight of that. It's a complete and utter failure. For a comedy and for our purposes, it's fun to be able to juxtapose these, but we gave the new one a D for a reason. This movie is a treasure.
Like for 80s movies and action, whatever you want to call it, like fun, fun, fun. So for me, it's an A.
Spencer (01:31:09.321)
Ooh, wowza.
Luciano (01:31:09.797)
Okay.
Matt (01:31:11.494)
Confusing, and yet topical, Luciano.
Luciano (01:31:17.445)
Wait, are you saying I'm confusing and topical or Chris is or yes? Okay, nevermind. Okay. I even, you know, throughout the haze of whatever Chris just said, I agree with him that this movie is what the 2024 one, 2024, whoever says it that way, the 2024 one wanted to be, but couldn't. It knows what it came for.
Matt (01:31:22.95)
Yes.
Luciano (01:31:45.541)
It doesn't try to be more. It doesn't try to create some stupid plot. Oh, I want to build something here, but we're never going to talk about it. No, it's just like there's this asshole who wants to be, you know, in charge of the whole town and someone crosses him and he explodes things and he kills one guy too many and he gets killed. Is it a good movie? No. Is it a better movie than the other one? Oh, fuck yes. Would I watch it again?
Maybe. So, and I had fun watching this, the other one was kind of boring at the end. So for all of those reasons I will give this one a C.
Matt (01:32:27.91)
tower's number Spencer sir trust me it is
Luciano (01:32:29.541)
That's not a number!
Chris (01:32:31.754)
Haha!
Spencer (01:32:31.945)
It's a coward's what it is. Yeah.
Chris (01:32:34.826)
You learned that at your book house?
Luciano (01:32:37.253)
I did! Several different book houses.
Spencer (01:32:41.545)
Um, so I'd never seen this movie and I watched the new one and everyone, everyone was saying, they're like, no, it's a remake of roadhouse. Like, what do you expect? It's a remake of roadhouse. Like, like basically saying like roadhouse is not a serious movie and it's don't expect the remake to be that good. It's going to be stupid and fun, like the original. So I, then I, um, I watched the new one and it was obviously sucked. But then watching this, I was like shocked at how.
good it is as a movie. Like it is stupid in terms of the plot and a lot of the stuff, but it's well paced, well written, like it's like fun and entertaining. And like the whole thing was just like a such a refreshing watch after the original. And like I said before, it made me like appreciate this movie so much more having watched the new one. So, uh, I will not drag it out. I liked this movie and I understand now why it's a cult classic because it's
fucking kicks ass as it should. So I give this movie a B because it's not high art, but it's fucking fun and fucking kicked ass. So fucking right. Made me made me feel good.
Luciano (01:33:54.917)
Hahahaha!
Matt (01:33:55.11)
Fuck yeah. Great. Listen, I like the symmetry of the idea that we have four people reviewing movies and only one Matt shall review a movie. Also, all Matt's are the same. We have one collective brain. I'm sorry to out everybody else on the podcast, but it's just for clarity for everybody. So, new Matt, other Matt, however we want to refer to you, Matt 2797531.
just the thing we do internally. Why don't you go ahead and give the review for all of Matt's collectively.
Chris (01:34:23.786)
Nice.
Chris (01:34:29.45)
Listen, after watching Jake Gyllenhaal and washing myself.
Luciano (01:34:37.925)
Nipple to nipple.
Chris (01:34:41.002)
Nipple to nipple.
Matt (01:34:42.342)
It was like communal nipple washing, if you will.
Chris (01:34:46.122)
You know, just felt I needed to get clean after that first movie. Um, I look, you know what? I'm in the same boat, actually, as Spencer. I got to admit, I had never seen this movie before watching this. And I did the exact same thing you did. I watched the first one or the new one. And then I watched this one. And this was so far and above what they made the new one into. It was just, oh, magnificent. And you know what?
I mean, we could sit there and say it's dumb, but I think I said earlier, um, probably not in this podcast. Cause I strip my long -term memory in short -term memory are both really bad. Um, but I said, like, I have gone to a McDonald's before and got it fresh and been satisfied. And that is what this was. And most importantly, I'm going to give this. Can I actually, I'm not even sure. I couldn't remember again, short -term memory issues.
Luciano (01:35:24.517)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:35:43.69)
Was S a level like S tier? I'm going to give it S tier. I'm giving it S tier. And you know why I'm giving it S tier? Tell him, tell him. Sam Elliott. Coming in looking like he's 54 years old. So this was made what 1942? I can't remember. You know, with that, you know, all his exes are in Texas. You know, like this is what we were missing. He was the heart.
Luciano (01:35:45.733)
Yeah.
Spencer (01:35:48.873)
Wow.
Luciano (01:35:51.845)
Because you're crazy?
Matt (01:36:02.534)
Mm -hmm. Accurate.
Chris (01:36:12.522)
He was the soul. He anchored Swayze and he never showed his dick.
Luciano (01:36:20.869)
Shouldn't that bring it down?
Chris (01:36:22.922)
No, because we're not good enough to see it.
Spencer (01:36:27.689)
Ha ha ha.
Matt (01:36:28.454)
Take the real response to that as America. Fuck yeah.
Luciano (01:36:30.853)
America!
Chris (01:36:32.554)
Fuck yeah. One other thing too I did learn from this because it was somewhat educational. Always, always have $20 on you. That's all I'm saying.
Spencer (01:36:42.121)
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Matt (01:36:44.326)
Listen, those are all good facts. They that is a representative for the Matt workshop in the name, Matt Alliance, Matt Confederacy. We'll figure it out.
Spencer (01:36:53.481)
not confederacy.
Chris (01:36:54.378)
That's a bit maybe...
Luciano (01:36:54.725)
Yeah, please not the Confederacy.
Matt (01:36:57.574)
It's a math thing you wouldn't understand.
Chris (01:37:00.426)
Yeah, it's, you know, honorable, you know? It represents a grand old time. Misunderstood.
Matt (01:37:04.838)
Yeah, like Brad Wesley represented.
Luciano (01:37:09.061)
Oh no. Oh no.
Matt (01:37:11.942)
Listen, next week we're doing another action movie and we are because we're on a kick, we're liking it. Plus they're all almost cooler. It's the Beekeeper. America's cooler. You'll find out when you watch the movie. I may have seen it already. We're gonna watch the Beekeeper. It is an action movie. It is 100 % adjacent to the Statham vehicle. I don't know how to sell it to you otherwise. If you say Josh Hutchinson, you're wrong. I'm not sure why, but trust me.
But the Beatkeeper, we're gonna watch it, we're gonna review it, is streaming somewhere, I don't know.
Luciano (01:37:48.325)
Nice, nice job.
Matt (01:37:49.158)
It's on the internet. Go find it. You guys have any last words?
Spencer (01:37:55.465)
Nope. Great job, everybody.
Matt (01:37:56.166)
Great job. That's why I let you do this.
Now, you know, it's fine. I got this. This is why I'm the host Spencer and you're the backup beekeeper next week. We'll see you next time.
Chris (01:38:01.034)
Dead air, no.
Spencer (01:38:11.593)
Now, I do declare that there is another movie that needs to be watched and it is Roadhouse, the prequel starring...
Chris (01:38:14.154)
That's a -
Chris (01:38:24.33)
Hey.