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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, pre-4th of July edition. Are you ready, Peaches?
Are you leaving out Glizzy's for Kid Rock tonight?
Of cour- are you supposed to? I, I didn't know that w- is what you did on the 4th.
Uh, sure.
Oh, okay. Well, what's up, Peaches? What's on your mind?
Oh, I'm excited that it's Friday, and yesterday, um, yesterday, uh, afternoon, when everybody else was doing important work, I was working on this.
All right. Let's go ahead and click play.
When somebody loved me.
Imagine owning the world's saddest songs by the greatest heartbreakers of our time
Every hour we spent together
[laughs] Jeez.
I'm here without you, baby.
In one emotionally devastating collection
I think about you, baby. And I dream about you all the time. Goodbye, my lover.
[laughs] KBEAR 101 presents-
You have been a friend. You have been the one.
[laughs]
Stupid James Blunt
You have been the one for me.
Sad Songs Peaches Listens To While He Walks So He Can Cry But Get His Workouts Done.
[laughs]
Nothing feels comparable to the feeling of someone holding you.
Or SSPLTWHWSHCCBGHWD for short.
And I don't want the world to see me. 'Cause I'd die before they'd understand.
[laughs]
Right? All the emotional classics by all your favorite artists
They broke you.
This is a long promo, Peaches.
I know.
[laughs]
I just wanted you to know while you-
Johnny Cash.
I hurt myself today.
[laughs]
Avenged Sevenfold.
Dear God, I've been-
Linkin Park.
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Snow Patrol.
If I lay here-
Passenger.
You only know you love her when you let her go.
The Fray.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.
Lewis Capaldi.
I was giving good. It used to be enough.
Jeez, Peaches. [laughs] It just goes on and on.
And more.
Your bed's never on the daily.
Perfect for long walks-
You can tell I come.
... late night drives, staring out the window-
To watch a girl walk down the road
... or pretending you're fine in the Walmart parking lot
Before they say people come.
[laughs]
They say people go.
Get all the songs for just four not so easy payments of $19.99.
Tell me are my tears the most precious thing you've ever known?
80 bucks. Sounds great. [laughs]
But wait, use your credit card and we'll include five bonus tracks absolutely free.
Bye bye love.
Bye bye happiness.
[laughs] Okay.
'Cause you had a bad day. Take one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around.
That's over two hours of emotional cardio for just four not so easy payments of $19.99.
You know
that every day is a part of the reason.
Well, I mentioned that I was tired, Peaches.
Sad Songs Peaches Listens To While He Walks So He Can Cry But Get His Workouts Done is not sold in stores. Call 1-800-CRY-2-WALK. That's 1-800-CRY, the number 2, WALK. Operators are standing by.
All right. So if you ever see Peaches just walking, that's what's going on in his head. [laughs] You know, that's what he's hearing.
[laughs]
[laughs] That-
I was gonna add a bonus part and be like, "Hey, if you order now while this commercial's on your TV, you can get the bonus, uh, CD that involves me singing the songs with you."
[laughs]
It was gonna be me sing- but then what was really funny is that, uh, the, uh, Frank showed up to our building yesterday afternoon-
Uh-huh
... as I was working on this promo, and I was about to start belting out, "I'm here without you," like, in the Z studio, and he's right across the way in the Classy studio. I didn't want, uh-
You shoulda done it.
I, [laughs] I didn't want him and his, uh, his crew to be like, "What on earth is going on over there?"
[upbeat music] This is the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, pre-4th of July edition. I'm Victor Wilt.
I'm Peaches.
All right. What do I have open in my stupid tabs here, Peaches? Have you ever ridden a, a unicycle?
[scoffs]
[laughs] I'm ... It's a legit question.
No. [laughs]
No? I tried once. It's impossible to ride a unicycle.
You gotta-
I don't know how people do it
... you gotta have m- a, a major core.
Yeah, like, it ... I just don't get it. I saw a guy on Sunnyside in the middle of a blizzard once on a uni- unicycle, and I'm just like-
His name was Jay Davis
... I was like, "How?" Well, I guess some guy in New Hampshire, he got arrested riding his unicycle, uh, weaving in and out of traffic, and it was a unicycle that was electric and could hit up to 93 miles an hour. [laughs]
Can you imagine?
[laughs] Dude, that's terrifying. I mean, imagine being on a bicycle at 90 miles an hour.
[laughs]
Okay? That's fast.
You go to the grocery store. [laughs] You just have bags upon bags-
[laughs]
... and you're on the unicycle with your arms out.
With arms wide open.
Bags are hanging off your arms, and you're going 93 miles per hour, and you're blasting, "With arms wide open."
Yes.
That's included on the CD, by the way, that, uh, uh, we talked about in the first break.
And amazingly, yeah, this guy, you know, he's weaving in and out of traffic, and he didn't wreck. [laughs] They pulled him over, [laughs] you know?
Imagine, like, you, uh, y- you crash into him. You gotta explain that to your insurance.
Oh, yeah. If, were you on a unicycle and injured, [laughs] you know, call the advocates.
Oh, you'd be dead.
[laughs]
Absolutely dead.
Dude, for sure.
93 miles per hour, that's gonna, like, split your c- split your car in half. You hit him head on.
Dude, it, that's a bad time for all involved. [laughs]
Uh, I, I wa- I just wanna see somebody riding a unicycle at 90 miles an hour, period.
Well, if somebody has an electric unicycle and they want Victor to Potentially test it out-
No, no
... bring it, bring it to the studio.
Uh-
And also bring a helmet and some bubble wrap.
Yeah, please make sure you're wearing a helmet this summer if riding your unicycle. [laughs]
I, I think if you're stupid enough to ride a unicycle over 90 miles per hour, you don't need a helmet. There's nothing in there.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, pre-4th of July edition.
No kidding.
Yeah. You know, yesterday-
You said tomorrow. So just do it. Oh-
I-
... I was, I was quoting Shia LaBeouf
... no, I, uh, was not that pumped about, uh, today yesterday. [laughs] But, um, I think I might have some fireworks waiting for me. I got a call from Jade at some point 'cause, uh, Justin was out at a live remote at a fireworks stand.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, "I wanna do a firework remote. That sounds fun."
He, yeah, Justin was... He walks in the Z103 studio as I'm working on that promo, the stupid sad songs Peaches listens to, that whole thing. And I'm blasting all these sad songs. He goes, "Can you check to see if my remote breaks are being sent in?" He's, "I'm, I got a remote to do." I'm like, "Where at?" He goes, "Acme Fireworks." I'm like, "What?"
Yeah. [laughs]
Cool. That tent looked awesome.
Yeah. So I, I guess we were having a little bit of, uh, technical problems. So I ended up, uh, board-oping the remote from my house. Um,
but they had, like, a deal going, I guess, where you, you could fit as many fireworks in a bag as you could for 100 bucks, and I was like,
"Well, I'm board-oping the remote, I can't come over and get the deal." So I told Justin to tell Mac to, you know, load me up and, uh, I'll give her 100 bucks, but I forgot to grab 100 bucks, so.
I'm shocked you have that.
Uh, well-
Well, today is payday. [clapping]
It is?
Yeah, 'cause the 5th falls on a Sunday.
Well, I guess I'll fire up my phone and pay the mortgage. Watch my paycheck disappear.
Yeah, mine's a-
Great
... mine's a $900 credit card bill I gotta [laughs] just-
It's gonna fall right
... take care of.
Heck yeah. Nothing like watching your money go in the toilet. So I, I might as well at least burn $100.
But I am getting closer to paying that car off. Oh, I can't wait for that day.
Well, good job, Peaches.
I'm gonna treat myself to a nice, a nice and decent meal from somewhere that's healthy still.
[laughs]
That way I don't mi- I don't s- I don't miss out on this diet. You know, tomorrow's gonna be torture, but I am gonna be that guy-
Just go to a place-
... that shows up with the, my Tupperware of chicken and rice at the Stone's Kia Kid Zone-
[laughs]
... just eating healthy. No days off.
Peaches, there's lots of vendors there-
I don't care
... with healthy options. [laughs]
No, there's not. It's the 4th of July. Cut it out. [upbeat music]
Wrapping up the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, I am Victor.
I'm Peaches.
And, uh-
And, yeah, we didn't prepare anything. We're just trying to get this show, uh, done as fast as possible because we're off early today.
Yes, and I want as much nap time as humanly possible because Becca kept me up late last night.
She wants to adopt another dog. She sent me the Snapchat-
Yeah
... and you, you, yeah, you were up at like 11:40, and I texted her. I'm like, "Why, why is he up?" And she just goes, "LMAO." I'm like, "That doesn't answer the question."
Yeah. No, I was up because she's showing me this dog she found on, like, Facebook Market or something. And
I think at some point yesterday, I told her, like, "Listen, okay, we can get a friend for Millie, another dog, but it has to be no bigger than our smallest cat. So it has to be, like, a Yorkie or something like Jade has."
You get a Pomeranian.
Aren't they, aren't they, like, bad dogs?
[scoffs]
I don't know.
I mean, most small dogs, like, just like people. Most small people-
[laughs]
... are very vocal and angry.
[laughs]
Most big dogs are gentle giants.
[laughs] I, I don't know, Peaches.
Look at Great Danes, Mastiffs. Look at those guys, then look at the stupid Chihuahua.
[laughs] Now, I'm not saying I would want a Chihuahua. But I was like, "It can't be any bigger than our smallest cat."
Most Yorkies are th- speaking of, uh, small and angry, Lieutenant Crane just walked by outside-
[laughs]
... the studio. [laughs] Most Yo- most Yorkies have an attitude to them.
Yeah.
My parents used to have-
I don't know. They always seem pretty nice to me
... my parents used to have that poodle mix, Daphne.
Yeah.
What a piece of crap.
[laughs]
Worst dog on the planet.
Well, the dog that we have is a poodle mix, and she's a good dog, but she's kinda crazy. So the one she was looking at on Facebook, it, it was some kind of a poodle mix too. And I'm like-
Oh, don't get it. Don't do it
... [laughs] I was like, "That dog is not gonna be, uh, as small as a cat."
I think-
"That's gonna be a big dog."
Daphne was part Chihuahua, I think, 'cause she had that, like, just viciousness to her.
Mm-hmm.
And I, I'm, I was so glad when she died. I was so glad. [laughs]
[laughs]
My m- my mom was devastated. I'm secretly, like, partying in my room. Like, yeah.
[laughs] Well, you're not gonna like all your pets, right? [laughs]
Well, Rover was the absolute best dog. The big fat beagle.
[laughs]
Just wanted his belly rubbed. That's it.
B- see, beagle, too big. Too big of a dog.
Tell, tell Lieutenant Crane what, what your, uh, your, uh, situation is.
Well, Becca wants to get another dog. She wants to get a friend for Millie 'cause the cats don't like Millie the dog. And I... She managed to get me in a good enough mood that I was like, "Listen, you can get another dog, but it can be no bigger than our smallest cat, you know? It's gotta be a, a little teeny dog." 'Cause I've, we got enough animals around, all right? I don't own, uh, you know, a, a giant track outside my house like you, Lieutenant Crane, to let the dog run around on. What do you think? How, how do I get out of this? 'Cause I don't want another dog.
[laughs] Well, that's a, that's a conundrum, but I will mention this just real quick.
Peaches' voice is loud, right?
Peaches' voice is loud.
He said small and angry or something as I was walking up.
Yeah.
Boy, it is gonna be hilarious after this basketball game who's angry. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, yeah.
The big green giant.
[laughs]
But back to your dog. Man, more dogs are better for you.
N- no.
[laughs]
I, I've got four cats, a dog, a lizard.
I've only got so much sanity, you know?
A zoo. You got a zoo.
I do have a zoo.
Becca sent a video of the bed, uh, like, of them talking about the pets, and all the cats are on that bed-
[laughs]
... and one's hissing at the other one. I- it's a madhouse. I don't know how y- you're able, you're able to go to bed at night.
Well, I'm, I'm usually not. You s- you were asking Becca, "Why is Victor awake right now?"
[laughs]
'Cause you can't sleep in a madhouse like that. I got crazy women, c- crazy pets. [laughs] What have I done to myself?
All right, a- anyway, everybody, Peaches and I are gonna leave now. So y- you have a great, safe, uh, 4th of July and stuff, and we'll see you at River Fest tomorrow. Peaches got the pit party coming up in a bit. [upbeat music]
The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat music]