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Join NABR in partnership with Corp! Magazine for our CEO & Executive Thought Leadership Series, where Jennifer Kluge sits down with C-Suite Leaders to get their insight and expertise.
NABR is a service organization igniting greatness in companies and their people.
00:00:00:01 - 00:00:25:09
Jennifer
Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of CEO and Executive Thought Leadership. I am your host, Jennifer Kluge, and we have a very special guest on you, Amelia Ellenstein. I've known Amelia for quite some time. I knew her as an executive and now I know her as a keynote speaker. So I'm super excited to share her wisdom with you all today.
00:00:25:11 - 00:00:58:15
Jennifer
Let me tell you a little bit about Amelia as she stepped away from the corporate ladder and $1 billion company and bought a one way ticket to a remote part of Hawaii to live off the grid, literally off the grid. Amelia is also an adventure travel athlete and has paddled the Mississippi River hike the Appalachian Trail, and has helped to train and manage her endurance athlete husband for his races.
00:00:58:17 - 00:01:18:08
Jennifer
Today, Amelia is a wellness expert, brand strategist, and keynote speaker, and she works with founders and CEOs to build their teams and help motivate them to find their value and to grow. It's a pleasure to have you on the program, Amelia. Welcome.
00:01:18:10 - 00:01:21:07
Amelia
Thank you. Jennifer, it's great to be here.
00:01:21:09 - 00:01:50:21
Jennifer
So I think we all dream a little bit, but what would it be like if I left the hustle bustle and and went somewhere and never came back? You actually did it. You actually did it. So I think we can all learn from your experiences of of literally leaving corporate America and starting a brand new life, and now you're coming back to teach executives and corporations of everything that you learned.
00:01:50:23 - 00:01:58:02
Jennifer
You literally sold everything you had and moved to Hawaii. Tell us more about that journey and what led you to it.
00:01:58:04 - 00:02:20:00
Amelia
Thank you. It's a great it's a great question. And and you know, they say hindsight is 2020. So looking back I can understand my decision with a lot more clarity than at the time when I was moving through it. Because I'm sure everybody can relate. When we're moving through big periods of change, it can be hard to really understand exactly what's going on and what's transitioning for ourselves.
00:02:20:02 - 00:02:49:05
Amelia
I'm looking back. I can understand it very clearly now. What I realized is that I had grown to this big, important corporate role within $1 billion company, and as I continued to grow as an executive, what I realized is that my time became more and more focused in the zone of productivity. And as I became better and better at being really efficient and really productive, something else was happening.
00:02:49:07 - 00:03:12:07
Amelia
I was becoming disconnected from the meaning behind my work. And, you know, it's interesting. Lots of people assume that I must have been burnt out, right? Did you did you leave this big job in corporate America because you were burnt out? And I it's not that I was burnt out, actually, I still had and continue to have a tremendous amount of energy and enthusiasm and motivation for the work that I did.
00:03:12:09 - 00:03:31:05
Amelia
What was happening with something much more profound. I was disconnected from my values, and as a result, the way that I was working with no longer contributing to how I wanted to live. And I knew I needed to make a change in order to work in ways that were back in alignment with who I wanted to be.
00:03:31:08 - 00:03:41:08
Jennifer
So tell us a little bit more. Expand on that. Disconnected with your values. Can can you give us an example of that now that you're on the other end of it?
00:03:41:10 - 00:04:08:14
Amelia
Absolutely. I think I've told you a little bit about one of the big projects that I worked on, which was a traveling circus that I created to help raise $1 million for charity. And on the surface, it seemed like a really important, meaningful goal, right? A goal that should really, really fill me up and make me feel really fantastic about the way that I was contributing, not just to the company that I worked for, but also to my community.
00:04:08:16 - 00:04:31:06
Amelia
And what happened instead is that I took all of my habits in the zone of productivity, right. This focus on my to do list, this obsession with efficiency, this surface level activity focused only on getting things done. And I cruised to that entire project. And even though we hit the goal, we raised $1 million for charity at the end of it.
00:04:31:06 - 00:04:51:24
Amelia
It didn't feel very meaningful to me at all, because along the way, I had never connected any of that work, any of that productivity to the things that mattered most to me. And so as a result, it was a big, important goal that didn't mean anything to me at all. I had only focused on the productivity parts of that goal.
00:04:52:04 - 00:04:57:18
Amelia
I hadn't thought at all about what I could do to make that work really matter. To me.
00:04:57:21 - 00:05:01:11
Jennifer
So was a checklist. And then you moved on to the next checklist.
00:05:01:12 - 00:05:02:16
Amelia
Yeah, you know.
00:05:02:22 - 00:05:28:06
Jennifer
More about that. So so that was an epiphany for you. So let's take that experience and tell us more about how leaders should view their work and suggestions for being present in the day, because presence is a big part of that, right? We're all we're all doing our work. And in fact, I made a list first thing I did when I walked in today, I made a list of everything I wanted to do, right?
00:05:28:08 - 00:05:45:08
Jennifer
Yes, a typical, typical business person doing this. But how? How do we become more present in our work and hence find that joy? And how should we rewire the work and the view of work? Can you help us through that?
00:05:45:10 - 00:06:15:09
Amelia
You know, one of the things that I learned was that when it comes to achievement, there are really two halves of that, of that experience. One half was the processes of productivity, which I had become very good at. Right. Making my to do list every morning and checking everything off of my to do list. Right. And I misunderstood that those processes of productivity only contribute to one half of the experience of achievement, right?
00:06:15:11 - 00:06:28:18
Amelia
The processes of productivity create a result, right? They they produce the final outcome and they're in credibly important. They're essential to success. Right. Because we have to get the job done. Right.
00:06:28:20 - 00:06:36:24
Jennifer
Right. And I can apply to their most good leaders. I have the PhD in the process of productivity. I mean, really.
00:06:37:01 - 00:07:04:24
Amelia
Yeah, you're right. You have to. Right. Because as an executive, as a CEO, as a founder, we have to be able to move the ball forward, right? Otherwise we cannot complete the task at hand. What I misunderstood was productivity is only one half of the equation. It's the process that gets things done. But if I want to feel fulfilled in that process of productivity, I have to do different things as well.
00:07:05:01 - 00:07:35:15
Amelia
So if I want to do more than get the job done, if I want to feel completely satisfied when I get to the finish line, I can't rely exclusively on the process of productivity to generate those feelings. I also have to incorporate daily practice that connects those actions to the meaning behind it. Right? So let's go back to my circus, right to the traveling circus, which was all productivity oriented with to do lists and calendars inked with deadlines.
00:07:35:15 - 00:08:02:04
Amelia
Right? Right. If I would have built milestones into that process to celebrate our progress. Right. Or to reflect on how the items on the to do list actually were connected to my personal values, it would have been a game changing exercise in making that goal not only an exciting and important accomplishment, but a meaningful accomplishment in my life.
00:08:02:10 - 00:08:12:07
Amelia
I needed both halves of the equation productivity and meaningful actions to back it up. And I didn't understand that when I was an executive.
00:08:12:09 - 00:08:40:22
Jennifer
So, for example, for those executives listening right now, we have our to do list and then you have the project timeline. Within that project timeline, you schedule small celebrations and or value components. So because we did this, it impacted this. And this is the value I'm finding from from doing this work. Joe, what are you thinking is your value on this.
00:08:40:22 - 00:08:45:01
Jennifer
And Susie what's your value on this. Is that correct. Am I saying that correctly.
00:08:45:03 - 00:09:11:20
Amelia
Absolutely. We have to build into the process moments of meaning because they want that little fly right by them. If we don't write, or we'll ignore them completely because we have our head down. When I work with CEOs and founders, the number one challenge that I hear from them as individuals and what they observe with their teams is that they are stuck with their heads down doing that.
00:09:11:20 - 00:09:36:21
Amelia
It is nearly impossible to rise out of the daily grind and think big, right? And so we know this is true from our own experience, and we know this is true because this is what leaders are saying. And so if we want to break that cycle and connect our work to the meaning that's behind it, we have to work in different ways because it won't happen naturally.
00:09:36:21 - 00:09:44:20
Amelia
We have to pause and create those moments of meaning in the process in order for that work to feel truly satisfying.
00:09:44:22 - 00:10:14:22
Jennifer
Excellent advice. And if anyone's listening right now, that that's the one main takeaway from from today's discussion. But you have more. You have more. Now, you and I had chatted and you, you found quite a lot of your learnings through the sacred practices of making. And for those that don't know, in Hawaii, a lei is a necklace, but it's more than a necklace and you can tell everyone the meaning behind lays.
00:10:14:22 - 00:10:37:09
Jennifer
You're actually, I think, giving part of your your spirit to the person. I believe. I don't want to speak for you, but there is intention that goes into that and there's some thought behind it. Now we don't have time for all seven, but can you give everyone here a gist for the lei making process and the meaning behind it?
00:10:37:09 - 00:10:40:11
Jennifer
And then maybe share 2 or 3 of them?
00:10:40:13 - 00:11:09:24
Amelia
Absolutely. So when when I walked away from corporate America and decided to really look deeply at the processes and practices that helped me connect my actions to meaning the the ways that I could work that would make my achievements worthwhile. We were in Hawaii when this self-reflection was happening, and I was incredibly lucky to meet mentors and friends that were willing to share their world view with me.
00:11:10:01 - 00:11:35:05
Amelia
And it came at the perfect time in my life because I was in the midst of reevaluating how I worked right? Because I wanted to work in more meaningful ways, and my mentors introduced me to the Hawaiian practice of making lei right? And lei are strung with flowers. They very often are worn around the neck, but they can be worn on the wrists or on the ankles.
00:11:35:05 - 00:11:43:03
Amelia
And once you know how to make a lei, you can make it out of almost anything. Shells. At graduation, people receive lei made of money.
00:11:43:05 - 00:11:43:19
Jennifer
But they.
00:11:43:24 - 00:12:26:17
Amelia
Yeah, they're amazing. Right? So they're a symbol of love and they're filled with intention, and they're given as gifts to signify something much greater. And through the process of learning this art form, I learned seven practices which helped me connect all of my actions to the meaning behind the work. And because this came at a point in my life when I was looking for new ways to work myself, I looked at this process and practice of lei making, and I realized that these practices don't only apply when I create a lei, these practices can apply to any goal that I have right?
00:12:26:21 - 00:12:49:24
Amelia
When I sit down to make the lei, I have a goal of producing a lei. Well, when I decide to plan help plan a giant fundraiser, I have a goal to create a fundraiser. Those practices of meaning apply no matter what the goal is. And so I started to take those seven practices out of my lei making artwork and bring them into my ambitious goal pursuits.
00:12:50:01 - 00:13:19:05
Amelia
And what I discovered is that they create the meaning of meanings of the moments of meaning. Excuse me? That I'm looking for in the everyday process of goal pursuit. So three of my favorite that I bring in to most of the goals that I pursue are intention, ritual, and community. And I love these practices because not only can they apply to any goal that we pursue, but we don't have to use all of them.
00:13:19:10 - 00:13:25:21
Amelia
We can use just one with the goal, and it can be incredibly profound and impactful. So let me give you an.
00:13:25:23 - 00:13:48:07
Jennifer
Can I interrupt you for a second? It's almost like corporate beliefs. Yeah, but but in a really deeper than a corporate belief is it's truly under I know there's values and beliefs or people just list them. I'm talking in depth. This is who we are. This is what we're about like the personality of a company. But but go ahead.
00:13:48:07 - 00:13:51:14
Jennifer
Let's let's focus on these these three that you mentioned.
00:13:51:16 - 00:14:03:17
Amelia
Well I love that you're connecting them as a as a belief system because they are they're a belief system that's connected to meaning making an achievement. Right. That's what the seven practices are, right?
00:14:03:19 - 00:14:04:02
Jennifer
Yeah.
00:14:04:02 - 00:14:45:09
Amelia
So one of my, one of the one of my favorite that actually my husband and I talk about all the time we pursue a lot of goals together. And so we get a lot of alignment on intention before we begin. Any goal and intention, as I define it, is how we want to feel, right. It's built on the idea that success includes not only what we accomplish, but also how we feel, and the only way that we can feel the way that we want to feel when we're caught up in that zone of productivity is if we decide with a lot of commitment, exactly the feelings that we want to cultivate when we're doing the
00:14:45:09 - 00:15:17:13
Amelia
work. So what does that mean? So, for example, we might decide in a goal that we want to feel capable. All right. Well, if I want to feel capable when I'm pursuing a goal that takes me out of my comfort zone, the way that I behave looks different, right? So if I want to feel capable and I'm moving into a new area that I don't have a lot of experience with, what might I do to make myself feel capable?
00:15:17:13 - 00:15:35:16
Amelia
Well, I might choose to take a class, right? Right. Because I want to have the knowledge I'm not going to go go into this new area of learning that I'm unfamiliar with, or I might choose to get a mentor right who can coach me through it to help me feel capable. So intention is how do we want to feel?
00:15:35:16 - 00:15:43:19
Amelia
And then when we know how we want to feel, then we can create those feelings with purpose. Throughout the process of goal pursuit.
00:15:43:21 - 00:15:59:19
Jennifer
It doesn't happen, right? So back to the To-Do list and you're purposely putting celebration in there. You could also purposely put everyone's intention there. So your intention was to feel capable. What what can I do as a leader to help you feel capable.
00:15:59:21 - 00:16:25:01
Amelia
Right. And an intention can also be big, right? My intention is to feel serene. My intention is to feel peaceful. My intention is to feel high energy, right? It doesn't matter what the feeling is. What matters is that we identify it so that then we can purposefully create the structure that we need to feel that way when we're moving through the process of productivity.
00:16:25:02 - 00:16:38:11
Amelia
Right. And so it's great in the workplace because just as you've pointed out, a leader can sit with a team member and say, what is your intention and how can I support you in creating that intention through this work? Right.
00:16:38:13 - 00:16:58:19
Jennifer
And usually the word intention is associated with intent as far as a to do. What's your intent. What's your action. This intent is related to feeling and emotion in personal wellness I guess you could call it a. This is just one. How about another one. Throw out another one Nana or another.
00:16:58:20 - 00:17:21:03
Amelia
Favorite is ritual, right? You know, when we're in the zone of productivity, we very often rely on habits or routines in order to get the job done right. We wake up every morning and the first thing we do is spend 30 minutes checking our email. Right? That's that's our routine. It's a habit, right? Or every Tuesday we have a team meeting.
00:17:21:03 - 00:18:01:05
Amelia
We gather the whole team together and we talk about the business for 45 minutes. That's a routine. It's a habit. What's amazing about routines, even though we often think about them as containers for productivity and containers for action, they're also containers for creating fulfillment. So what do I mean? Imagine if at that team meeting right within the agenda, we include a ritual, a team ritual where we take that weekly meeting and we take it from the ordinary Tuesday conversation, and we make it purposeful, non ordinary.
00:18:01:08 - 00:18:26:01
Amelia
All right. So that could be as simple as at the end of the meeting, there's a sign above the door that reinforces our vision or why we do the work. And when we all walk out the door we all hit it right. We remind ourselves that's why we're here, that's why we're doing the work. Or we open the meeting with a sharing session where everybody spends gets 60s to talk about what they've accomplished.
00:18:26:01 - 00:18:45:16
Amelia
You know, give me a break, right? That changes a meeting or a routine from an everyday ho, easy to forget experience of productivity into an experience that's deeply connected to meaning by simply making it not so ordinary.
00:18:45:18 - 00:19:11:20
Jennifer
Right. And I think companies have done a much better job at this in the last ten years. But when they get busy or when there's a pandemic or an emergency, I think that falls to the wayside. So it's a nice refresher to say, hey, you need to put intention in ritual into what you're doing, right. Let's let's cover one more.
00:19:11:20 - 00:19:37:12
Jennifer
But let's hold it. Let's hold it to the end, because you have some more value and experience as a as an athlete and as an endurance athlete. So you are you got the corporate executive, you got the you got the whole sell everything you have and move to off the grid. But but let's talk about you as the endurance athlete.
00:19:37:12 - 00:20:04:06
Jennifer
And your husband is an endurance athlete. He he's done what, the Iron man and a few of those really intense races and what have you. And so have you for those here listening in that are, you know, executive leaders, what are some of your monumental moments from those activities and what what's the takeaway for someone listening so we don't have to do it?
00:20:04:06 - 00:20:16:21
Jennifer
You did it for us. Okay. Yeah, yeah. In case anybody's thinking about doing an Ironman. But but what are the lessons that that were learned from that monumental moments? And how can we learn from from your experiences there?
00:20:17:00 - 00:20:49:18
Amelia
Well, there are several. And I'll share with you my favorite, the one that has made the the biggest impact on my life. So yes, my husband is a long distance triathlete. He does three day triathlons that are more than 300 miles, and that introduced into my life the idea of the power of the mind body connection. And as I saw him work as an athlete to develop himself, I started to understand that there was very significant power in working on that connection.
00:20:49:20 - 00:21:13:09
Amelia
And so when he came to me with his first big idea that involved me in a very significant way, I said yes. And what he proposed was that we set a Guinness World Record in swimming. He planned to swim 65 miles nonstop, and his big idea for me was that I would kayak alongside him the entire way. And so that's what we did.
00:21:13:11 - 00:21:37:20
Amelia
He swam 65 miles nonstop while I paddled alongside him, giving, giving him food and all the resources he needed. It took 41 hours, 57 minutes and 11 seconds and we learned an amazing lesson. And that lesson is a simple concept and it's just forwards. And that concept is that it's not if, but how. And so what does that mean?
00:21:37:20 - 00:22:01:14
Amelia
Not if, but how. What we realized when we thought about taking on this challenge together was that if there was any room for doubt, we wouldn't finish. Right? If we showed up to the finish line thinking, if we can do this, we wouldn't finish because the challenge was just too big. There was too many opportunities for us to say, this is hard work.
00:22:01:19 - 00:22:26:24
Amelia
We're cold, we're exhausted. Right? Things aren't going well. We are sleep deprived, right? That we're a little bit off course. You can navigate. There's too many things that could go wrong. So we wanted to show up empowered. What that shift does when we choose that, it's not if but how is we move our mindset to a place of problem solving.
00:22:27:01 - 00:22:53:19
Amelia
Yeah. Because when we sit in the zone of if we're deciding, are we going to do this? But we move ourselves into the zone of how we've already decided we're doing it, and so we automatically show up to the table with a problem solving mindset, because we've already committed to finishing no matter what it takes. We just have to figure out how I carry that mantra into every part of my life, right?
00:22:53:19 - 00:23:20:01
Amelia
I'm an entrepreneur as well. I'm a founder also. I own my own business, and we all know when we're operating in our business, we have a vision for what we'd like to bring to life, but there's countless obstacles between the idea and in actually coming to reality. And so I use this in my professional life as well. When challenges come up, it's not if I will have a completely mobile brand strategy agency, it's how.
00:23:20:03 - 00:23:25:21
Amelia
So what do I need to problem solve to get to my solution? I found that to be an incredibly powerful shift.
00:23:25:23 - 00:23:28:06
Jennifer
It takes the emotion out of it too.
00:23:28:08 - 00:23:30:06
Amelia
It does it really.
00:23:30:06 - 00:23:43:18
Jennifer
Deep emotional inner voice, all the negativity. I'm sure a somewhere at mile 55 the brain was going okay, how, how how are we going to do this versus if I'm going to.
00:23:43:20 - 00:24:05:04
Amelia
Write and it's powerful with teams, you know, to accomplish that particular goal. We had a crew of 25 people that were supporting us. And so it also when we're accomplishing big goals and big projects, we don't do it alone. We do it with a people, people around us to help us accomplish it. And so everybody has to come with that mindset, right?
00:24:05:04 - 00:24:24:06
Amelia
Because if you have an if person who doesn't believe, then it can be detrimental to the whole group. So I've also found that this mantra is really powerful, not just for me as an individual, but for me as a leader. When I'm working to onboard teams, we all have to get to a place where it's not if, but how.
00:24:24:09 - 00:24:28:14
Amelia
That way we're all showing up as problem solvers and we're not making room for self-doubt.
00:24:28:17 - 00:24:51:18
Jennifer
And, you know, I, I know in the military, too, I had talked to executive coach similar to you and what how how do you get through a pandemic? How do you get through these really tough things? And he said some wise words. He says you need to have a mantra and you need to stick to it. So you're echoing that to matches are very, very powerful.
00:24:51:18 - 00:25:10:14
Jennifer
It creates the tone or the theme for anything in your life. And we some in business we come taglines or we call them culture, beliefs or fundamentals or what have you. But those are more important than I think. Leaders give them credit to what's still on your adventure list. The whole.
00:25:10:14 - 00:25:11:19
Amelia
World.
00:25:11:21 - 00:25:18:23
Jennifer
Right? No, seriously, I invite you here. You have the next big thing that you're going to work on.
00:25:19:00 - 00:25:39:01
Amelia
We do. We just decided we're going to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, which is one of America's national scenic trails. It's 2600 miles, and it goes from the border of Mexico to the border of Canada through California, Oregon and Washington. So that's where we will be next year for a portion of the year.
00:25:39:06 - 00:25:55:16
Jennifer
And I would imagine you're going to take intention there and ritual and everything that we just discussed today. And having these not if but when and how and and all of that, you're going to have you're going to bring it all.
00:25:55:18 - 00:25:55:23
Amelia
Yeah.
00:25:56:01 - 00:25:58:15
Jennifer
You know I have you have to deal with.
00:25:58:17 - 00:26:20:13
Amelia
Absolutely. You have to I think what I've learned is that I need all of those resources in order to really accomplish not only the goal, but feel the way I want to feel while I'm accomplishing the goal. And so you're absolutely right. I'll show up at the border of Mexico with all seven of these ready and prepared to carry me through 2600 miles.
00:26:20:13 - 00:26:26:00
Amelia
It's a necessity to feel good and to stay focused for that long of a duration.
00:26:26:02 - 00:26:34:10
Jennifer
Let's cover one more. Let's cover one more intention or ritual in what is it? Let's do one more.
00:26:34:12 - 00:26:54:24
Amelia
Well, one of the other practices that I found to be incredibly powerful and often overlooked is the practice of community. You know, especially with an executive mindset. We often feel like we have to go it alone, right? We feel like we had to push through and be the one that solves the problem, and the one that figures it out and the one that carries the burden.
00:26:55:01 - 00:27:35:06
Amelia
And that's a really easy trap to fall into, is leaders. And the truth is that we don't, right? We have a tremendous community around us. And so when I think about the power of community, I think about the practice of asking for help and how important it is to ask for help, whether we're asking the team around us to fill the gaps where we have self-awareness, that we don't have the strength to complete a job, or it's reaching out to a mentor and onboarding people that are experts into our process in order to help infuse the knowledge and the energy that we need in order to get the ball across the finish line.
00:27:35:08 - 00:28:04:24
Amelia
The power of asking for help can be transformational, and being able to accomplish a goal and feel good doing it. Because when we ask for help, we enter into an exchange with someone. We enter into a relationship where we show that we respect somebody and we show that we value somebody else, and that is completely reciprocal, right? All of those that great energy and respect just gets reflected right back to us through that process of asking for help.
00:28:05:05 - 00:28:22:03
Amelia
And so I think community is one of my third favorites, because not only does it connect me to other people, but it enters me into a positive, a spiraling, uplifting relationship where we help each other. And I'm reminded I don't have to do it alone right?
00:28:22:05 - 00:28:49:10
Jennifer
And this helping each other in life, not just business to, some of the best leaders out there help people within their lives, not just within their job or career. So you know that that's very good wisdom as always. As always. Well, thank you so much for sharing your insights. I know you work with a lot of CEOs and executive leaders.
00:28:49:12 - 00:28:57:15
Jennifer
I know you're on the public speaking keynote speaker platform. If somebody wanted to reach you, how can they find you? Amelia.
00:28:57:17 - 00:29:03:08
Amelia
Thanks for asking. They can find me through my website, which is Amelia Ellen stein.com.
00:29:03:10 - 00:29:27:19
Jennifer
Fantastic, fantastic. Thank you so much for being on the program. Hopefully everyone has had at least one takeaway from our discussion today. I know I was writing as as you were talking and some things that I could improve on myself. So thank you so much for being on the show. And keep shining bright, Amelia. And we have so much to learn.
00:29:27:21 - 00:29:37:06
Amelia
Thank you. Jennifer, it's my pleasure to be here. Thank you for all that you're doing to lift up the business community and people that are working towards their own goals. I really appreciate all the work you're doing.
00:29:37:08 - 00:29:45:12
Jennifer
We're all learning. We are. We're all in this together. All right. Thank you so much, everyone. Have a great day and keep shining bright.