Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
In this episode of You’ll Never Believe Me But... After Dark Cutter’s friend Steven comes on to tell stories of his own experience with a girl on an Alaskan cruise and the night of his first, well, everything. He also makes his guess on Cutter’s stories.
A WKNC storytelling podcast where each guest tells one real and one fake story to the station's resident storytelling fanatic, Cutter.
Cutter 0:00
Good evening everyone. My name is Cutter though you may know me as three bears in a coat on air on HD one and welcome to this episode of, You'll Never Believe Me But: After Dark
You'll Never Believe Me But is a storytelling podcast being produced here at WKNC about lying to me. Every episode I have a guest on and they tell me two stories one real and one fake, and I have to decide which is real between them. For those of you that are new here, or for those of you that need a quick refresher, I'm going to run down the three rules we have here before we get into today's episode. Rule number one, your story should not do significant damage to anyone else or their character. We're not trying to be outwardly mean to anyone other than ourselves. Rule number two, if someone else is featured in the story, you must either have their permission to say their name or use a fake name for them. You agreed to come on the show and tell these stories, but unless they agreed to have these stories told, just use a fake name. And rule number three, and this is the easiest one all stories should start with you'll never believe me but and then a brief synopsis before starting the story just so we all know what we're getting into and as a nice little nod to the show's title. So with all that housekeeping stuff out of the way, let's go ahead and get into today's episode. Today's guest is Steven, a friend of mine for a little while and a friend of the show for just about that long actually, who I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with this semester, our schedules don't line up, but that doesn't make him any less of a friend of mine or the show. Steven, how're you doing?
Steven 1:43
I'm doing well. I'd be doing better if this man's schedule wasn't so fucking full constantly.
Cutter 1:50
Hey, hey, first again. And as I have always said, and will continue to say to you and everyone in my life, I do a fuck ton of things all the time in forever.
Steven 2:00
Why can't you just be a business major like me cutter
Cutter 2:02
Because I would like to get a job that does stuff. Instead of middle management respectfully.
Steven 2:08
Hey, that's not nice. It's trying to be CEO one day, I could be your boss Cutter. Okay, and that'd be awesome. If I was your boss, you'd probably get promoted very quickly. That's not like that's not real.
Cutter 2:20
That's just connections at that point.
Steven 2:22
That's just you having people skills.
Cutter 2:23
Yeah, honestly, I just know so many people. Like yeah, it's kind of scary. It is it is frequently very alarming to me I was at this is kind of unrelated. I was at a state football game, one of the most recent ones. And I ran into people from the gymnastics gym that I coached at that I knew, because they spent a lot of time there. And like said hi to them and talk to them for like five minutes. That's a little bit bizarre. Yeah, no, I just I just know and interact with a lot of people on a daily basis. It's wonderful, though, it means that like, for if I need any amount of expertise on anything, I have someone to go to.
Steven 2:59
Why can't we interact on a daily basis Cutter?
Cutter 3:01
Because our schedules don't line up, Steven.
Steven 3:03
That, that sounds like a huge problem.
Cutter 3:05
I don't know. I think that is a that is an equal responsibility problem.
Steven 3:09
I don't really. I have few days of the week where I'm completely free, basically,
Cutter 3:14
Right. It's just those are the days a week where I'm most busy. And so the days a week where I'm less busy are the days the week that you're more busy. So it's kind of a you know, it's a
Steven 3:25
Plan schedules next semester together.
Cutter 3:27
I've already planned my schedule for next semester
Steven 3:29
You're an absolute bitch Cutter.
Cutter 3:31
Well, again, a lot of my classes kind of selected themselves. Like it was like, like, I don't know, it's kind of it was kind of like Sudoku. Like, there was one thing that had to be in this place and everything else just kind of shuffled, you know, fell into one. Yeah, everything else just kind of fell in line. We'll compare we'll compare notes, cross reference and cross referencing, perhaps, see if we can align any times that'd be it. That'd be That'd be nice. That'd be wonderful.
Steven 3:56
I know a quick makeout session or someone either.
Cutter 4:00
Well, save that for the story. Hopefully, at least I assume. I don't know what you've prepared. But I am looking forward to it. We've had conversations in this realm before for a good bit. Oh, for sure. And so I'm very excited because these are ostensibly at least stories that you haven't told me or don't remember at the very least telling me yeah, um, and so I I'm very much looking forward to the stories you tell the way you approach this and and just seeing how you seeing what all you've done and what all you haven't done. Unless you have any questions. I think I'm ready to hear your stories.
Steven 4:40
All right, I'm ready to
Cutter 4:42
All right, Steven, take it away.
Steven 4:45
You'll never believe me but I also had a fling on an Alaskan this summer.
Cutter 4:54
Steven, I I have no idea if that's true. I want it to be true so bad on so many levels and for so, so many reasons. And if this is a made up story, it's so I will have been so obvious that you just ripped it directly from me. But if this is real, what an absurd coincidence, it will have been. A Wow. Yeah, no, I mean, now I just yeah, go ahead.
Steven 5:21
Cutter I'm not a thief
Cutter 5:22
Alright well, that remains to be seen. Go ahead sure.
Steven 5:27
So, uh, yeah, it was this summer. It was a cruise that me and my family took to Alaska. It was a really long cruise. It was like 11 or 12 days.
Cutter 5:36
Yeah, sure. Sure.
Steven 5:37
It's extremely long
Cutter 5:39
No that's that's a long time. I know. My family. I mean, we did some like on land stuff like afterwards like it was like we did a cruise and then we went around some parts of Alaska and land.
Steven 5:48
We stayed in like Washington for a little bit. Seattle area.
Cutter 5:51
Interesting. Did you leave out of Washington or?
Steven 5:54
Yeah
Cutter 5:54
We left we left out of Vancouver. So it was very nice to get to spend a few days in Canada.
Steven 5:59
Yea no, we just went up to Vancouver for one of the ports. Ah, she gotta make sure to get that international. You know,
Cutter 6:05
That's so true. Oh, no. Absolutely. So okay, so is 11/12 day cruise. What cruise line was with?
Steven 6:13
It was with Norwegian.
Cutter 6:15
Hmm I've heard that they are the they are the I don't know. But they're the Embassy Suites of the sea.
Steven 6:22
I don't know whether to feel insulted or complimented.
Cutter 6:25
I don't know what I was going for. I know I have the first my first thought was like Motel Six. But I know that's not true. No, no, that's so like, Carnival. Yeah, I know that's carnival. And so I was like, I don't really have anything clever to say
Steven 6:36
Carnival is trashy, but also for young people.
Cutter 6:38
So true. Yeah, like Motel Six. Ah. So Norwegian Cruise. 11 day cruise in Alaska with your family.
Yeah
Sounds lovely. your extended family. Just you and your parents?
Steven 6:48
Just me. My parents and my brother.
Cutter 6:50
Sure, sure makes sense. Yep. So how do you meet the How'd you meet the flame? I'm not trying to tell your story for you. If you have backstory, I'll let you give it just
Steven 7:01
There's not much backstory. I just sort of like was looking for people around my age. Because when you're 19 on a cruise ship, that's sort of the worst possible age you can be.
Cutter 7:12
It is definitely very inconvenient. I will agree
Steven 7:14
Because like you're too old for the kids program. Right. But you're too young to drink,
Cutter 7:21
Which is really just the most unlucky like Venn diagram pleased to be no, absolutely,
Steven 7:26
Absolutely miserable. Yeah. So as I was trying to avoid my misery, and, unfortunately not get intoxicated. I just saw a girl at like one of the clubs they have around
Cutter 7:37
Sure, sure.
Steven 7:38
They're like clubs on the ship.
Cutter 7:39
Yeah.
Steven 7:39
And I just walked up to her and I'm like, Hey, what's going on? I'm Steven, how are you? You know. What's going on?
Cutter 7:45
Wow. Very direct. I know. No, none of none of my walking around the ship several times.
Steven 7:54
No. She looked about my age. I was very tired. This was like the third or fourth day. I was just like, Hmm, I'm tired of hanging out with my family.
Cutter 8:05
Ah, sure. No, I get that.
Steven 8:07
I mean, I love my family.
Cutter 8:08
Yeah, no, but I mean, three to four days straight on a boat. We can't get away. No, I get it. I understand. Wow. So you just wow. That's that is very brave. Okay. How. How did that get taken?
Steven 8:21
It got taken pretty well. I mean, she was like, Hey, my name is Emma. How's it going? You know?
Cutter 8:26
Sure. Yeah, sure.
Steven 8:28
And we just we talked for a while. We talked for like an hour or two. And then we, uh, we scheduled like another time to meet up the next day,
Cutter 8:36
Oh yeah
Steven 8:37
She had some friends on the ship that she had made on the ship.
Cutter 8:40
Ah, so you got you got brought into their little?
Steven 8:43
Yeah, a little. She was like, I think she may have been 17. So she knew kids from like the kids program.
Cutter 8:48
Ah, gotcha. Gotcha.
Steven 8:50
Which sounds a little bit creepy. In retrospect.
Cutter 8:52
Yeah. It's a little it's a little questionable. You know
Steven 8:56
Hey man, it's only two years.
Cutter 8:58
Yeah.
Steven 8:58
within the range.
Cutter 8:59
I have. I always I've always gone by the 10% rule. So you get 10% of your age below or above? So like, 19? It's like 1.9 years, which I mean, 17 falls under that range, but barely,
Steven 9:12
More or less? Sure. Sure. I was barely 19.
Cutter 9:17
Yeah, well, as long as she wasn't barely 17 You're fine. I don't think so. I'm not sure that whatever. So good enough. Yeah. broaden that a little quick.
Steven 9:26
Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And then I just like met all the people. You know, there was like Julia, who was sort of the mom of the group. Serena who is just another girl in the group. There was Dean and Daniel.
Cutter 9:38
Dean and Daniel. Yeah, sure sure
Steven 9:40
Brothers. One older one younger. Yep. Yeah, there were some other people but I didn't feel like making fake names for them. No,
Cutter 9:47
I understood. Totally reasonable.
Steven 9:50
We'll call the Aussie one Nate.
Cutter 9:52
Sure. Why not have Nate
Steven 9:54
Nate great guy. tastic guy. No. Great guy. Sure. Rich as hell.
Cutter 9:58
Oh even better Yeah, okay, sure, sure.
Steven 10:03
But yeah, it just sort of continued and like, I got brought into that clique. I hung out with them. And I was very happy that I was no longer constantly hanging out with my family.
Cutter 10:12
That is very nice. Yeah, no, absolutely.
Steven 10:14
Yeah. And then just like, Emma was really flirty for me.
Cutter 10:19
Sure.
Steven 10:20
And in my mind, I was just like, Hold on now. Hold on. Now, first off, she's 17. Secondly, now, I'm not the type of guy that I was brought up. I don't know how to explain it. But basically, I was brought up to as like, not the most attractive guy. Sure. So I just always assumed that when girls were when I thought girls were flirting with me, I was just wrong.
Cutter 10:47
Yeah, that's a classic though.
Steven 10:48
So I just assumed I was wrong. Yeah. And I was like, no, there's no way she can be flirting with me. But then uh, Nate, one of the other guys and I were hanging out watching a soccer match in Nate's massive ass suite.
Cutter 11:02
Oh, of course. Yes.
Steven 11:03
No, he had a massive suite. And like the nicest area, it's called the Haven, it's so nice
Cutter 11:08
Oh my god what a pretentious name the haven.
Steven 11:12
He's such a nice guy. And it was so nice. And he got in trouble for bringing us up there. But that's nice. Yeah, it's all good. But we went up there. We were watching like a soccer match. And he's like, Yeah, so what are you gonna do about Emma? Like, she likes you? And I'm like, wow, what?
Cutter 11:27
Respect.
Steven 11:28
I'm like, Nah, she doesn't. And he's like, yeah, she's been doing all this shit. And I'm like, What do you mean, she likes me? Because like, there were times where like, she'd get out of the hot tub, which I just that night, I didn't really feel like going in the hot tub. So I didn't. And I was just like, sitting down on one of the chairs. And then she kind of sort of, you know, just like, would lay her head onto my lap.
Cutter 11:53
Ah, yeah.
Steven 11:55
And just like cuddle with me.
Cutter 11:56
That is it. That is a pretty, pretty flirtatious and pretty forward, pretty, flirtatious thing to do.
Steven 12:02
And like looked up at me repeatedly. And she also told me her bra size. No, no, and then asked my dick size.
Cutter 12:12
And through all of that, you're like, yeah, no, this isn't flirting?
Steven 12:16
No.
Cutter 12:20
She's just being a good inquisitive, very, very, very close friend.
Steven 12:27
Eventually, she knocks me and, you know, kiss me. And I was like, Oh,
Cutter 12:31
that'll do it. Yeah, that'll typically do it.
Steven 12:34
I'm like, Oh, shit.
Cutter 12:35
I would have liked to imagine that she kissed you. And you're like, Oh, she's just being such a good friend for for even a second.
Steven 12:43
My reaction was more so along the lines of oh, shit. This is happening.
Cutter 12:47
Yeah, no, I think that's very reasonable. Yeah, sure. So yeah, so how late you know, obviously, you said you met her on like, day three or four? Yeah. How far into the cruise? Are you before before you finally actually understand what's today? Like? Six or seven?
Steven 13:04
Okay, sure. So good. Few days later. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a little bit dense.
Cutter 13:09
Yeah, no, that's, that's what happens sometimes. But you still got like, for what? Four or five days of the cruise left?
Steven 13:16
Yeah.
Cutter 13:17
Oh, what's the Yeah, what's the what's that tone for?
Steven 13:19
Yeah, she, uh, well, we, we kept doing that. But obviously, I'm not the most experienced so I wasn't the best at it.
Cutter 13:28
Sure. Sure. No, understood.
Steven 13:30
And after like a day or two, she got bored. And then uh, stopped making out with me. And instead decided I'm going to make out with a 15 year old.
Cutter 13:38
That is that is a bit of a swing. Yeah. To go from the age. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Two years the other way. That's rough. That sucks.
Steven 13:51
She also made out with another guy.
Cutter 13:53
Wow. Killing it. Yeah. Hey, I would argue that you were her first choice.
Steven 14:01
So the one she ditched?
Cutter 14:03
Hey, I didn't say I didn't claim anything. Any part of that. Imagine being the guy in the middle though. You weren't her first choice and you weren't her, where she settled? That's the worst spot.
Steven 14:13
Yeah I mean, she was also drunk at that point, too. He like gave her champagne.
Cutter 14:19
Ah, sure. Sure.
Steven 14:21
She wasn't like hammered drunk right
Cutter 14:23
that'll do it that'll do it, no understood. champagne will, champagne will get to you. Especially if you're young and don't actually know what like alcohol will do to you. Champagne will catch you off guard.
Steven 14:33
Oh no. She was well versed in what things would do to her.
Cutter 14:36
Ah, understood
Steven 14:37
and she talked about doing numerous types of drugs.
Cutter 14:40
Ah yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah understood. So you were a little bit more inexperienced than her in a few different ways.
Steven 14:46
Oh well. Pretty much everywhere
Cutter 14:52
sure sure
Steven 14:53
I hadn't done a line of coke before and I still haven't.
Cutter 14:57
Wow. Wow. Yeah, no, that all I mean, that's significant. That is absolutely significant. So I mean, yeah, that I mean, that blows that sucks.
Steven 15:08
It does.
Cutter 15:09
Ah, but I mean, it does it just fizzle out from there and you go your separate ways and never speak to these people again.
Steven 15:14
I mean, yeah, kind of sorta. Also, not really.
Cutter 15:20
That is so vague
Steven 15:21
because like, I made a comment to her. I'm like, hey, maybe you should, like stop smoking, because she wants to be a singer. And she makes the very logical decision of vaping. Yes, she regularly vapes and like, does drugs and all that shit before she's famous.
Cutter 15:38
vaping is bad for your lung health especially. Yeah, no, it's I've actually I've actually read that online.
Steven 15:45
Whoa, that's crazy.
Cutter 15:46
It is crazy.
Steven 15:47
But yeah, so I was like, hey, maybe you like shouldn't smoke. And then she sent me a long ass paragraph.
Cutter 15:53
Oh, wow.
Steven 15:54
About how she can make her own fucking choices.
Cutter 15:57
Yeah
Steven 15:57
I'm never gonna do anything in life with my virgin ass with my wise ass Virgin ass. or some shit like that.
Cutter 16:07
Wow, what a roller coaster.
Steven 16:10
Yeah.
Cutter 16:11
Wow. Yeah, no, I mean, I've had similar things like that happen, where I've been like, hey, maybe don't do this. And then just been cracked back at with, hey, why don't you mind your own business.
Steven 16:21
I knew there was nothing there. Like romantically?
Cutter 16:23
Yeah
Steven 16:24
Very, obviously. She was from Florida. So like, that's,
Cutter 16:27
that is a good distance. Yeah. Yeah, the state.
Steven 16:30
Um, and also, she was just kind of a bitch. I still like cared about her as a friend. That's what I was saying you know.
Cutter 16:37
Right, no I understand that.
Steven 16:38
Yeah. I think that's an issue.
Cutter 16:45
Hey, maybe best to move on in that instance. But hey. Still fucking amazing, though. That it was similarly on a cruise in Alaska.
Steven 17:01
That is amazing.
Cutter 17:02
That is I
Steven 17:03
Did you know that we went to Alaska.
Cutter 17:06
I did not know that.
Steven 17:08
Ju-No
Cutter 17:08
Oh. Hahaha. Wow. I thought you were you were going for something else.
Steven 17:12
You don't get my puns sometimes
Cutter 17:14
I thought you were going for something different?
Steven 17:15
No, I was making a dad joke.
Cutter 17:16
Yeah, no, I I realized that. I don't know. I figured that was I figured that was gonna end up somewhere else. So I was I was like, waiting for where we ended up but I didn't know. I was on- look man, I didn't know. I just I just didn't think I didn't think the punch line was gonna be at the start. I thought the punch line was gonna be at the end. that's on me.
Steven 17:33
That is fair. Normally, normally it is
Cutter 17:34
I I'd argue but uhh, Steven just rolled his eyes at me just for the listeners, which is fair, which is absolutely fair. No, that's That's amazing, though. I am. I just really want that to be true. Like so desperately with every with every fiber of my being. I want that to be true. So bad. No. But I do I do need something to compare it to. Because I can't just guess on that story alone. Yeah, that's the end of this one.
Steven 18:04
It is.
Cutter 18:05
Let's get into your second story.
Steven 18:06
All right. You'll never believe me. But I had my first kiss at my first party. And that was also the first time I got drunk.
Cutter 18:18
What What an amazing set of firsts to hit in one night though. Yeah. Like what a truly great set of accomplishments. Yeah. So
Steven 18:28
luckily, did not turn into the first time that the police got called on me.
Cutter 18:34
Ah, that is nice. That is that is a nice first avoid on the party. i And yeah, yeah, yeah, no, well, good. First to avoid considering the potential there. Uh, yeah. Tell me about your night of firsts then. did it occur on the first of the month?
Steven 18:48
Unfortunately, no
Cutter 18:49
that is upsetting. Did it occur on like the 21st? Or the 31st? I would accept that.
Steven 18:53
I don't think so. I don't remember.
Cutter 18:55
Oh, sure. sure.
Steven 18:57
It was just like some random Friday.
Cutter 18:59
Makes sense.
Steven 19:00
I got invited out to a party. By a Guy. that I met that day. Not sketchy at all.
Cutter 19:04
Yep, nope. Totally safe. No problems with that
Steven 19:08
I was very concerned on how to get in. Because the guy at the door was like, show me your state ID. And I'm like, I did not bring it.
Cutter 19:18
Well, right. Because why would you bring your wallet and your NC State ID because there's no reason it shouldn't be important. Sure. No, sure.
Steven 19:25
Like, I don't want to lose anything in my wallet. So why would I bring it
Cutter 19:28
makes sense
Steven 19:28
So I had to end up talking to the guy that invited me, David. Mm hmm. And I had to get him to let me in. And he got me in.
Cutter 19:38
Yay! Let's go, David. Yeah, sure. Okay, so you get in a little bit of trouble. But no problem.
Steven 19:44
Mhm
Cutter 19:44
All right. So this is your we've we've already checked off first party.
Steven 19:47
Yeah.
Cutter 19:47
Amazing.
Steven 19:48
And then I just was like, standing around for a bit very confused.
Cutter 19:51
Yeah, makes sense.
Steven 19:52
What to do. I'm like, I don't know how to get fucking alcohol here.
Cutter 19:56
Was it like a house party?
Steven 19:58
Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. He's always out of there like garage right?
Cutter 20:01
So everyone there was was partying. Okay. Understood. I mean it's important for context if it was like a kickback, you know type beat or a party party or
Steven 20:13
It's a party.
Cutter 20:14
Okay. Okay
Steven 20:15
It was a party party.
Cutter 20:16
Sure Sure.
Steven 20:18
Yeah. And then I, it actually was David. I asked him I'm like, yo, where do I get alcohol? And he's like, oh over there. I'm like, yeah. Oh, okay.
Cutter 20:29
Well, massive line of just
Steven 20:32
of people waiting to get alcohol
Cutter 20:34
A line to get alcohol!
Steven 20:36
Oh yeah, no, oh my god
Cutter 20:38
That's so poorly managed.
Steven 20:40
How
Cutter 20:41
If you have enough alcohol for that many people?
Steven 20:44
It was coming out of kegs.
Cutter 20:47
Ohh, okay, that makes more sense.
Steven 20:50
And they were putting it in red solo cups.
Cutter 20:51
Well, no, I mean, naturally.
Steven 20:53
Yeah.
Cutter 20:53
You can at least spread the kegs out. And, you know, make a few lines.
Steven 20:57
Yeah, but they don't want to put more people on keg duty than they have to
Cutter 21:01
I guess. Okay, sure. But it's still the same number of people. You still would need one person to where he
Steven 21:07
exactly. They had like two people. And one of them was working the line for guys, which was beer and then the other one was working a line for girls, which was not beer, but mixed drink.
Cutter 21:17
Really? That's yeah. I like mixed drinks. I think mix drinks are lovely
Steven 21:23
It was a frat party.
Cutter 21:24
Well, yeah. I maybe I want a mixed drink.
Steven 21:28
Oh, no, I got a mixed drink, but only because they were trying to get me to join.
Cutter 21:32
Ah, so they were like, we'll give you whatever you want. Ah, sure, sure. Well,
Steven 21:37
no, I had David or like, David's like, Hey, bro, do you want to try a mixed drink? And I'm like, sure. Sure. Why not. And he got me one. And he's like, and I'm like, shit. This is good as hell
Cutter 21:47
Yeah. What do you have?
Steven 21:48
I don't know.
Cutter 21:50
Upsetting.
Steven 21:50
It was the jungle juice.
Cutter 21:52
Oh, okay.
Steven 21:53
It was Jungle Juice.
Cutter 21:54
That's only. That's only technically a mixed drink.
Steven 21:57
It is a mixture.
Cutter 21:58
Well, it is mixed with stuff. Yes.
Steven 22:02
Yes. It's plenty strong. And I'm just sitting there like, Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's pretty strong. Because you're serving it to girls.
Cutter 22:10
Ah, that is a very frat party thing to do. Sure, sure.
Steven 22:15
So I mostly just had beer. I didn't get like drunk off my ass because it was my first time drinking
Cutter 22:20
Right no very reasonable.
Steven 22:22
Don't really want to get hammered. Sure. Yeah, of course. So I only had like three drinks.
Cutter 22:27
Yeah, seems like a healthy amount. Yeah.
Steven 22:30
completely healthy.
Cutter 22:31
Nice.
Steven 22:31
Just a light buzz.
Cutter 22:32
Yeah.
Steven 22:32
Ah, all right. Yeah.
Cutter 22:34
Second first, first time drinking. Indeed. Amazing. Well, first time getting drunk. That is an important distinction.
Steven 22:40
I had drank prior. So yes. Oh, that was my first time.
Cutter 22:44
Sure. We still have another first though.
Steven 22:46
We do. So they had like a dance floor setup. And like, situation in like, the middle of one of the garages? Yeah, sure. And I just wanted to go on it because it seemed like fun and dancing to the music and stuff.
Cutter 23:02
Absolutely.
Steven 23:03
Yeah. I I went on to it. You know, jumped up and down, did that. Had few girls grind on me.
Cutter 23:10
Wow.
Steven 23:10
That was also that was also a first
Cutter 23:13
I'd argue that's a less impactful first than the first Sure. But okay, okay. Sure. Sure.
Steven 23:20
And then, uh, there was a girl who just randomly comes up to me and instead of, you know, backing her ass up onto me, like all the other girls did. Um, she just like, faces towards me. And I'm like, this is weird. I'm gonna dance with you. But this is like,
Cutter 23:37
Walked. She just walked up and then stood in front of you.
Steven 23:40
Yeah. I mean, people were packed like sardines.
Cutter 23:43
Oh, sure. Okay.
Steven 23:44
Yeah, she deadass walked up in front of me. And just stood with me.
Cutter 23:48
Hey man
Steven 23:48
And then we just start dancing and talking. And I talked a little bit and then she looked up at me and she said, you gonna kiss me or not? and I'm like sure. Okay, cuz I was buzzed at that point. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah,
Cutter 24:01
Sure.
Steven 24:02
So that was my first kiss.
Cutter 24:04
Ah, amazing. What a great first kiss story, though, that you just, uh, you some some girl at a party just walked up know, hung out for a little was like, alright, well, that's gonna happen. That's amazing.
Steven 24:17
Then she immediately left.
Cutter 24:18
Yeah, no, I believe that.
Steven 24:19
That made me feel terrible about myself.
Cutter 24:21
Yeah, but I don't think that's you. I think that's just she had other things to do.
Steven 24:25
More guys to kiss. I guess maybe.
Cutter 24:26
I mean, maybe?
Steven 24:27
Oh, no. Certainly. I heard she kissed like six guys that night.
Cutter 24:30
Yeah, I believe that.
Steven 24:31
Or more.
Cutter 24:31
I mean, you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who would be that bold about it and then only kiss one guy.
Steven 24:38
Yeah.
Cutter 24:38
You know,
Steven 24:39
She probably had like a certain amount she wanted to reach
Cutter 24:41
Maybe. I don't know, maybe maybe it's until it feels right. You know, maybe it's not like a hard limit.
Steven 24:46
Well, not a hard limit. But hard minimum. Maybe?
Cutter 24:50
Maybe. Okay, sure. Maybe. Maybe the minimum was made. The minimum was one.
Steven 24:54
The minimum was probably like five.
Cutter 24:56
We can't prove that.
Steven 24:58
You're right. We can't prove it. But I do have my suspicions.
Cutter 25:03
Sure. Sure, sure. No, that's all three first. I mean, they're very efficient by by this metric. How? Yeah, how long into the party it take you to get through all that then?
Steven 25:14
I don't remember I wasn't looking at my phone.
Cutter 25:16
That's reasonable understood.
Steven 25:18
I got there like 10:30,11 ish. And then I left at like, 1:30
Cutter 25:24
Oh my gosh. Wow, that was fast. Three hours in and out.
Steven 25:27
Yeah. Because I mean, the party start late. I could have stayed there. I didn't realize it at the time. But they had like drivers to drive you back. Yeah, I just got a friend to pick me up. And he was like, yeah, no, um the latest I'll pick you up is two. And I didn't want to be a dick to him.
Cutter 25:42
So I think, okay, Yeah, no, I think that's fair
Steven 25:44
Can you pick me up now? And he's like, yeah, he pulled up.
Cutter 25:46
Nice. Very cool. Yeah, no, I 100% believe believe all that. When was this? This was August. This was August. Hmm. Interesting. Whoa. Interesting. I'll save it for when I make my guess.
Steven 26:03
No, you're. You find it. I already know. I find it interesting. Yeah,
Cutter 26:08
I know. I know. But that doesn't actually that doesn't actually really help me that much.
Steven 26:13
No, it is not because one of the two is true.
Cutter 26:15
One of the two first kisses. It's either this was your first kiss. And the other story was fake. Or this wasn't your first kiss.
Steven 26:23
Oh, no. The other story I'm sorry I didn't mention it. That was also my first kiss.
Cutter 26:28
No, of course. I figured. Yeah. One of them was your first Yeah, no, I get that. Good. Understood, huh. A game of a game of days. Even perhaps. I'm very excited. I look forward to breaking those down here in a second.
Steven 26:42
Well, not days.
Cutter 26:43
I mean I understand.
Steven 26:46
I got one Cutter.
Cutter 26:47
It's days, you can measure it in days.
Steven 26:49
You can measure anything in days, you could say, Oh, yes. This decade is days.
Cutter 26:54
It's been days. So true. I don't know. I think a month is just about the right time to measure something and days. Because I mean, you could measure it in weeks as well. But I think days is is a very reasonable metric. Once you get more than 50 days. I think that's absurd. You something better. Ah, whatever. What a very efficient day, though. What a very efficient party that you went to, in and out three hours tops, get all that done. And escape a frat party with your life and your pride. Which is more than a lot of people can say I feel
Steven 27:28
That is true.
Cutter 27:30
So I mean, I know you killed it.
Steven 27:33
Thank you. I appreciate that. Ah, well, unfortunately, they just had beer.
Cutter 27:38
Ah, and mixed drinks, but only for the girls and jungle juice mixed drinks, which again, I don't think counts. But
Steven 27:45
It should
Cutter 27:46
I don't think so. I really don't. I'm sorry. But I think a jungle juice mixed drink is its own genre of of drink.
Steven 27:57
That's its own category.
Cutter 27:58
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Steven 28:00
You have different tiers?
Cutter 28:02
Oh, no. I mean, sure. I mean, it's just like proof like, you know, basically the same thing? Not. I know, whatever. We can argue about the semantics of mixed drinks later. That is, because I do need to get into trying to figure out which of those stories was true. Well, Steven, those are two wonderful, wonderful stories that differ on one very important piece of information, which is, when did you have your first kiss? And here's what I think. And And if I may lay out my reasoning, and I may talk myself into thinking the opposite of what I currently believe it's happened before and it does very often. I think that the second story is true. And I'll tell you why. Right. Because I know we did get lunch this semester. Let's not make it sound like we haven't hung out this semester at all.
Steven 28:56
No, we did.
Cutter 28:57
Yes. We did.
Steven 28:57
Week one
Cutter 28:58
we did get it was like we it was like week two. But we did get lunch. And I did hear about some fraternity something.
Steven 29:07
Mm hmm.
Cutter 29:08
I can't recall much, you know, many details. And I don't know that they would really help me here. But I know that there was at least talk of you being involved with this fraternity.
Steven 29:16
Doubter. Yeah. You do know, parts of my story could be true.
Cutter 29:20
Yes. Oh, I know. But this is this builds. Don't worry. Okay, this builds. Um, so we've got that. Right. And then I believe that had you gone on an Alaskan cruise recently? Even I feel like if it were me, it would have been hard pressed of you to not say anything. Because I've talked about going on the Alaskan cruise before. Like, just in general, just as a trip. Yeah, just as a trip. Oh, no.
Steven 29:54
I'm used to traveling so it doesn't affect me that much.
Cutter 29:56
So you weren't like you were so
Steven 29:58
I've been to Alaska before.
Cutter 30:00
Really?
Steven 30:00
Yeah, I've been on Alaskan cruises before. It's not that fascinating for me.
Cutter 30:03
Oh, wow. Okay, damn. Sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to think I was so special for going to Alaska. That's oh,
Steven 30:10
It was it was special because of how long it was.
Cutter 30:12
No, that is crazy. Yeah. But I, I don't know, maybe this is just like weird, like, weird associations I'm making. But I don't think that that Alaska trip happened this summer. I feel like I would have I feel like you would have said something about it. I feel like you would have said something about going on a trip to Alaska. Like, even before you left. I feel like I would have heard something about it. I don't know. I don't know why I feel that way. But like we hung out over the summer. I feel like you would have told me. I don't know. Maybe Maybe that's just I thought we were better friends than that. Who knows? Maybe I'll just play the guilt card. No, so I think I think I'm gonna make that guess. I think that your second story about the party your your day of firsts as as I will call it is true. And that something about that trip to Alaska is off, that at least I don't believe it happened this summer. So pray tell.
Steven 31:12
So you are unfortunately correct.
Cutter 31:14
Woohoo, absolutely. Amazing. I'm killing it this season by the way. I'm on something different for this mini season and
Steven 31:22
built different.
Cutter 31:23
I've not been wrong yet. I'm on a new me. New host new bears new coat. Y'all know how it be. No so what I mean, so obviously that second story was true.
Steven 31:37
Most of the first story was true too.
Cutter 31:39
Okay, when did it when did it happen?
Steven 31:41
Oh, it actually happened December 2019 to January 2020 and it wasn't in Alaska.
Cutter 31:49
Where was it?
Steven 31:51
South America.
Cutter 31:53
Oh, nice. That's lovely. That sounds wonderful.
Steven 31:56
Yeah uh we didn't actually make out she just flirted with me hard. And then she did end up ditching me for another guy.
Cutter 32:02
Hmm. Fascinating. Fascinating.
Steven 32:05
That pain was real.
Cutter 32:06
No, no, I imagine that that would hurt. I absolutely understand that. Wow. Okay. Amazing. That is so you just I assume just co opted most of that story and made it more recent and take place in Alaska.
Steven 32:22
Yeah.
Cutter 32:22
Yeah. That's awesome. So okay.
Steven 32:24
I don't know the part about her making out with well, he was actually 14.
Cutter 32:28
Yeah, I was gonna ask like, how are we? Do I just like, subtract two from the ages?
Steven 32:33
No, she was 16. I was 17.
Cutter 32:36
Okay,
Steven 32:37
we actually met in the kids club.
Cutter 32:39
Oh, no, of course. That does make sense. That does make sense. Sure. Sure. And that was there's still a little a little pod of people show you in a rich friend. And
Steven 32:48
oh, yeah.
Cutter 32:49
Oh
Steven 32:49
no, that's entirely true.
Cutter 32:50
Awesome.
Steven 32:50
I love Nate. He's the best
Cutter 32:52
Nate. Shout out to Nate. Yeah, for being real.
Steven 32:54
He's an Aussie.
Cutter 32:56
Cool guy.
Steven 32:57
Coolest dude,
Cutter 32:58
That's ah, that's phenomenal. Wow. Okay. So you really did go to a frat party as your first party, get drunk for the first time there and then have your first kiss? Because some girl walked up to you spoke a little bit and was like, All right. Well, yeah, that's awesome. That's what a good a good what a very concise story. You know, to be able to tell him and be like, Hey, this is if somebody is like, Oh, what was your first case? Or? Oh, what was the first time you got drunk? Or? Oh, what was your first party? Boom, all one story? Yeah, I can respect the efficiency of nothing else. But I do think it's also just a good story. Um, and you got a mixed drink out of it? I did indeed. Which you normally wouldn't be allowed.
Steven 33:37
No.
Cutter 33:39
Rights for?
Steven 33:40
Because David is a homie.
Cutter 33:42
And shout out to the homie David, Are you still are you still friends with David?
Steven 33:45
Sorta kinda. Not as much or not. I didn't pledge their frat.
Cutter 33:51
Ah, yeah, that'll do it. That will do it. That's okay can't all be winners. Unlike me, because I am once again correct. At least in this, this mini series.
Steven 34:05
Ah, all right Cutter.
Cutter 34:06
Yeah, I know. I'm gonna get a little big for my boots here. And it's gonna go wildly off the rails when I do get one wrong. We actually we don't have that many episodes left. So I mean, we've got one more guest to come on. And then and then the finale.
Steven 34:16
So what how many more?
Cutter 34:24
One more guest after you and then the finale. So four guests total. Yeah. It's a very it's a mini season supposed to be a little a little condensed. Um, no, that's, that's awesome. Two very good stories. Especially that there was so much truth in that that first one. But we will be right back because you have to listen to my two stories. Don't go anywhere. Hey, real quick. While Steven is listening to my stories. If you like the podcast, be sure to hit the subscribe button wherever you're listening, whether that's on Spotify, Google podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts so you'll never miss An episode. Also just so that you all remember my two stories. Here's a quick recap. In my first story, I met a cute girl on a cruise who ended up being a flat earther. And she later claimed that fate would bring us back together. In my second story, I went to get ice cream with a friend who brought along her 25 year old coworker, only for her to show me an alphabet game of names of people she had had sex with. And once my friend told her my name, she reached out to me multiple times to try to add me to the list. Alright, with all that out of the way, let's jump back into the action. Well, Steven, those were my two stories. What do you think?
Steven 35:33
I gotta say, I think the first one is true and I think the second one is false.
Cutter 35:37
Wow, very, very convicted. Anything in particular that gave you that or just a very deep feeling.
Steven 35:45
Cutter I just want to believe you made out with flat earther.
Cutter 35:49
Ah, you know, yeah, I totally understand that. I think that's very reasonable.
Steven 35:53
I'm willing to sacrifice the concept that you were potentially like, a 25 year old tried to get with you
Cutter 36:02
Sure.
Steven 36:02
I'm willing to sacrifice that.
Cutter 36:04
You're willing to give that one up for making out with a flat earther?
Steven 36:07
Yes, absolutely.
Cutter 36:08
I think that's reasonable. I think that's very fair. I'd argue that either away is a W in the story book for me. I'm just one of them. The Flat Earther one is is much funnier. It is like notably much funnier.
Steven 36:23
You're just like, oh, yeah, making out with this girl. Oh, she thinks the earth is flat. What the fuck?
Cutter 36:29
Yeah, exactly. No exactly my feeling, though. Very much. And the way she just draw the way she laid it out. I was like, yeah. Do you see a curve? Like, the most bonkers fucking way. Like just so convinced.
Steven 36:43
So fucking arrogant.
Cutter 36:44
So
Steven 36:45
it's like, yeah, no, there's no curve.
Cutter 36:46
There's no curve. What the fuck am I gonna say that?
Steven 36:50
No, there's a curve. You can you can see it there. Let me push you off and show you.
Cutter 36:53
Yeah, show you like, yeah, you're right, then. I mean, you're right that there isn't a curve. You're wrong. Cuz you're a fucking, uh, whatever. Yeah. I think that's very fair. I totally understand being willing to sacrifice that. So so that sounds like a lot of heart reasons, any head reasons. Or just you're working yourself into it? Because you think it's a good story.
Steven 37:15
It's a good bit Cutter.
Cutter 37:16
It is a good bit. It's a great bit, even. no, I just,
Steven 37:18
I have to hope it's true.
Cutter 37:20
I think that's so fair. No, I think that's very reasonable. I hope you're right.
Steven 37:23
And also, I don't think you got the game to pull a 25 year old.
Cutter 37:27
In my defense in that story I didn't. To be fair.
Steven 37:31
No, but you could have like, fucking snap of your fingers.
Cutter 37:36
100% Yeah. A luck of luck of the cards. I don't know. I mean, no, that that was really one of the more wild experiences though was uh getting frequently contacted by a 25 year old.
Steven 37:50
I would think making out with a flat earther is weirder, but that's me.
Cutter 37:53
Oh, no, it was definitely weird. It was it was it was definitely quirkier. I'd argue. But I think I think again, it can be one of my more wild misadventures, while still not being the wildest, you know, making out with the Flat Earther. Way up there. Way, way up there. Ah, I yeah, I hope you're right. I hope that I hope that I am telling the truth.
Steven 38:16
I hope I'm right to Cutter.
Cutter 38:17
I hope for my sake, that you are what that doesn't, you know, yeah, I'm going to stick with that. Actually. I'm gonna stick with that. Well, unless you have any other analysis. I mean, if you do, please, by all means, but otherwise, thank you for your guess. Steven, thank you so much for joining me. I think we learned that while you did not kiss that girl make out with that girl on the cruise.
Steven 38:44
I didn't kiss her either cutter
Cutter 38:45
Ah, you do when you do things you do a lot of them at once. Very efficient. And I can I absolutely respect that. Thank you so much, Steven, for joining me. Where can listeners find more of you?
Steven 38:59
Yeah, they can check out my Instagram, which is Steven underscore depolo that is s t e v e n. Underscore d e p o l o.
Cutter 39:12
amazing.
Steven 39:12
I had to spell it out.
Cutter 39:13
Yes.
Steven 39:14
My name is the lay of the land there.
Cutter 39:15
It is weird, Depolo, Depolo is cool, though. I like Depolo a lot.
Steven 39:19
Italian
Cutter 39:19
Yeah, I believe that. That sounds Italian
Steven 39:21
spaghetti.
Cutter 39:23
Wow. Hey, you not me. Uh, well, Steven, thank you so much for joining me.
Steven 39:28
Of course. Thank you for having me.
Cutter 39:30
That will do it for this episode. Our intro music is popping out of compositions 2 used under the Creative Commons License found on Free Music Archive our outro music is vintage news. Our production music used under the Creative Commons License also found on Free Music Archive. I've been cutter. This has been you'll never believe me but after dark. And thank you all for listening. Good night.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai