Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Great businesses are built on great relationships. This show explores how trust, teamwork, and human connection fuel growth in a world shaped by disruption and technology. Through candid, lighthearted conversations with visionary leaders and entrepreneurs, we uncover how relationships create companies that thrive financially and make a positive impact on society.
Welcome to The Building
Business Relationships Show.
I'm Matt Stone, and before we
officially launch, we're exploring
what matters most when it comes
to relationships in business.
These early episodes are about
testing ideas, learning from
guests, and hearing what you
think belongs in the conversation.
So please listen in, share your thoughts
and help shape what this show becomes.
Now, recently I got a chance to meet
up with Dr. Tasha Eurich, the world's
foremost expert on self-awareness.
And in this short conversation that
you're about to watch or listen to,
Tasha and I cover a lot of ground.
She talks about the connection between
relationships and self-awareness, what's
really going on when we are reactive, and
what excites her most about the launch of
The Building Business Relationships Show.
So thanks for tuning in.
Please do like and subscribe,
and I hope you enjoy this
conversation as much as I did.
I am so excited to be here with my
dear friend and the world's number one
guru on self-awareness, author of three
books, Bankable Leadership, Insight,
and her latest book, Shatterproof,
which is amazing by the way.
And Tasha Eurich has agreed to have a
quick chat with me about the upcoming
Building Business Relationships Show.
Here I am.
Yay.
We even have a sunny day to do it.
Also, please admire my pink
microphone, which is a extra,
that's all extra learned from
me.
Extra accent for the Show.
So yeah, I wanted to ask Tasha
a few questions about it too
and, get her perspective.
So the show's gonna be rooted
in relationships and building
great enterprises, you know,
entrepreneurial enterprises
powered by great relationships.
So have you had a business relationship
that's had a big impact on your life?
I am so lucky to have more to choose
from to answer this question than
I possibly know what to do with.
I remember a mentor of mine once
said that most people can trace
their success to, you know, two
or three people opening one door.
And if we use that criteria, probably
the person that's had the biggest
impact professionally in terms of not
just my success, but who I am as a
person, uh, is Dr. Marshall Goldsmith,
who is the number one executive
coach in the world, the number one
leadership thinker in the world.
He's written several books that
have sold millions of copies.
The big one is What Got You
Here Won't Get You There.
Love that.
Classic.
A classic for any leader.
Yep.
And Marshall and I met
maybe 12 years ago now.
It was through a mutual friend of ours
who was also my mentor who told me,
it's time for you to meet Marshall.
And ever since then, he has not just
opened doors for me professionally, but
he's just been a confidant and he now
proudly calls himself, my honorary dad.
And I think that just is a testament to,
these aren't just business relationships,
are they, they're, they, they transform
our lives in ways that, you know,
usually we don't even anticipate.
Actually, it's one relationship
leading to another one.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So do you remember what precipitated
that moment of like, you were ready?
What, what was the seed of that?
Do you remember?
I
wish that I could tell you.
What was happening at the time was I
was getting ready to publish my first
book, Bankable Leadership in 2013.
And the first conversation Marshall
and I ever had, I will never
forget it because it happened at
6:00 AM on a Saturday morning.
Wow.
The only time he had available.
And, uh, it sort of had like the drama
of a good, dramatic movie or TV Show
where he was like, at some points, like
yelling at me, but in the most loving
way of like, you need to get your head
out of your ass and think about this.
I was like, yes, yes I do.
And then, you know, we kind of
connected, we, we shared a sense of
humor, so we were laughing, but, um,
it's never boring with a good mentor.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
A good mentor is not just gonna
sit there politely and quietly
and say, that's all very nice.
They're gonna pressure test,
what you're, what you're saying,
You mean ChatGPT is not a good mentor?
Like everything you write in
it, it says what a great idea!
Matt.
This is the best idea I've ever heard.
Wonderful.
It is nice and assuring, but uh,
sometimes not reassuring in that.
Right, right.
Yeah.
For the self-awareness because you know,
nobody that you know tell
you that about the idea.
They would never,
they would never say that.
No, but you can always go to ChatGPT to
feel better in the moment, I suppose.
But Marshall's not that, Marshall's
much more than that for you.
Do you remember those first conversations?
How it kind of helped you?
Um, what did it teach
you about relationships?
Mm-hmm.
And your own, you know, venture.
Your, your passion, your, you had
a vision, then, you wrote a book.
But as you were getting to know
Marshall, like, what were some of
the connections you were making about
the potential of this relationship
to really change your life?
I would say.
Uh, this is maybe a little bit less
relationship focused, a little bit
more focused on sort of my journey.
But, you know, when I first came to
Marshall, and still to this day, I have
a hard time with self-promotion, right?
Of, and when you're an author and when
you're a speaker, you, you sort of have
to find a way to make peace with that.
And, you know, he said a couple of things.
He said, you know, the first thing is,
is your personal comfort, more important
than the positive impact that you wanna
make on, you know, all the leaders
and all the companies and all of the
people that you're trying to influence?
And I said, no.
So that was a big insight.
And the second thing he told me
was, get your ego out of this right.
Self-promotion.
Is sort of the wrong
way to think about it.
You should really be thinking about it
in terms of getting your message out.
So he gave me a Peter Drucker
quote, which I do think is
focused on relationships also.
" The purpose of life is not to prove how
right you are or how smart you are, it's
to make a positive difference." Mm-hmm.
And as long as we're doing that, we
can start shouting it from the rooftops
because if we, you know, it's like your
show, you know that what you are doing
is going to make a positive impact.
It becomes so much easier.
Yeah.
To um, not just promote it,
but to connect to other people.
This point is so critical because we
all have an ego and it's useful to us
when we have to perform, for example.
But I think what I found with you and
with other people is, the good, solid
relationships you have will tell you the
truth about, hey, that's a good idea, but
it's not done yet, or you're not ready
yet, or have you thought about this?
Just keeping you on track and rooted
in that legitimate purpose because
if you rob the world of what your
gift is, yeah, that's the real loss.
Right?
That's what I heard in your story.
Yeah, and that's what I think Marshall,
is so good at zeroing in on what people's
gifts are and um, yeah, it's, you sort
of think about the sum total impact
he's had by doing that, and this man,
I don't know how he can maintain the
number of relationships he maintains,
but you know, at the end of every call
he says, what can I do to help you
live a little bit better of a life?
Yeah.
And I know he's asking that question
to everybody else that is important to
him.
Yeah, I remember, I've met him a couple
times partially because of you, but
one of the times I met him at this
event and he gave out his phone number
for anyone to go on a walk with him.
That's a big thing.
Walks.
Yeah.
Walks.
Yeah.
Because we were in
Nashville, so yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Um, what did that relationship, that was
so pivotal for you, what did it teach
you about relationships in general?
And then let me ask a two part question.
Mm-hmm.
Which is a little bit complex,
I suppose, but not for you.
No, it, gimme two parts.
Matt Stone, because what did it teach you?
But also as much of the self-awareness
research that you've done and
the teaching that you do on
self-awareness and coaching, connect
relationships to self-awareness.
Mm-hmm.
What is the nexus of those two and how
do you manage your relationships in a
way that nurtures good self-awareness?
So, I sort of have two angles on this.
One is the causal impact between
becoming more self-aware and
having better relationship.
Right.
There's tons of data showing that people
who know who they are and how other
people see them have, um, everything
from, uh, you know, deeper friendships
to longer lasting marriages, to
better relationships with their kids,
um, you know, and their coworkers.
If you're a leader, you're more
influential and motivational and trusted.
So that's sort of one angle.
So from self-awareness to relationships.
But I also can draw the causality the
other way, which is from relationships
to self-awareness, if and only if those
relationships contain what I call loving
critics, which is essentially in our,
in our, you know, 12 plus years of
researching self-awareness, what we found
is the most highly self-aware people don't
surround themselves with human ChatGPTs.
They surround themselves with
what we termed 'loving critics'.
So for someone to be a loving critic,
they first have to support you.
No frenemies need apply.
But the second thing, which is just
as important, and in my opinion pretty
rare, is they have to have a track
record of telling you the truth.
They have to have a track record of being
like, no, I don't like your new haircut.
And I'm gonna tell you because no
one else is telling you and you're
walking around with bangs and why
did you get, you know, whatever.
Hopefully it's a little
bit more helpful than that.
That seems kind of shallow in terms
of feedback, but you know what I mean.
Right.
My
bangs are awful.
Your bangs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're terrible.
Me too.
Someone talked me out of them today.
You talked to me out of bangs.
Um,
but, but I think that's
ultimately how relationships
can increase our self-awareness.
And then it's like this one beautiful
circle, virtu, virtuous cycle.
Yeah, exactly.
Absolutely.
One feeds the other.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's, it's amazing.
Okay, so listen, there's all these topics
on communication and, and leadership.
I mean, leadership is, is so
everywhere, but we don't necessarily
know what it means in this context
unless you get down into the details.
Mm-hmm.
And so I'm wondering what's the
topic around relationships that
we're not talking about that we
should
be?
So, as an author, I, every time
I've written a book, have written
the book that I needed at the time.
And my most recent book talks about how,
you know, this is just empirically and
objectively, we are living in a world that
is getting more and more chaotic, more and
more disruptive, more and more stressful.
And, uh, people are increasingly not okay.
I think about the clients
that I'm coaching.
So many of them are coming to me with
problems that weren't the same as they
were, you know, 5, 10, 15 years ago.
It's things that I identify with.
They're saying things like, you know, the
level of stress that I'm facing is so high
that there are times when I just lose it.
Right?
So the topic that we're not talking
about when it comes to relationships,
in my opinion enough is reactivity;
is, when you're stressed, how easy
it is to allow yourself to go with
your first response to a situation.
And, um, I've been under a ton of stress
lately, just candidly we all have.
Right?
And there have been several times in
the last couple of months where I have
gotten in my own way in such profound,
like, to such a profound extent by
not pausing between the reaction I
have initially and like, how do I want
to show up in this relationship and
what is it that I want to do instead?
The good news is, the good news for me
and for anyone else, maybe who is dealing
with this, is I'm seeing my clients make
huge steps forward, and they're doing that
by ironically, uh, reading Shatterproof
and using the tools from it to understand
their triggers and to understand all the
things that are setting them off, right?
That's the kind of thing that we have to
understand in order to pick our response.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
When you can observe yourself, you can't
observe yourself if you don't pause.
No.
So you can take a breath and observe
yourself and say, what is this reaction
that I'm having signaling to me.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
The power of the pause is that I can
sometimes get, even, get clarity that
the emotional trigger I'm having, the
reaction I'm having may not be my first
instinct about it, may not be accurate.
Like, for example, if I feel
really rageful in a moment, like
let's say you're driving mm-hmm.
What you're actually doing
when you do road rage is that
you were afraid of something.
Mm-hmm.
You were afraid of
getting hit, for example.
Am I on the right track?
Yes.
Um, that, so there's, I talk
about a four-step process in
Shatterproof, but just to kind of
really distill it to its essence.
Um, when, when we are reactive,
it's usually because one of
our three fundamental human
needs is being frustrated.
So the first is confidence.
We want to, we wanna feel like
we're, we're doing well and we're
getting better and we're growing.
Uh, the second is choice.
It's not just having agency, it's
being able to live our lives with
authenticity, like to be who we are.
And the third is connection.
And that is everything from feeling like
we belong, you know, like talking to
people at the grocery store to having
mutually supportive relationships.
Yeah.
And that's been helpful, um, for me
personally, uh, you know, if I'm, if I
am feeling like I'm being neglected in
a relationship or something, I say like,
okay, there's nothing wrong with me.
I'm a human being who's, you know,
for whatever reason, whose need
for connection is being frustrated.
So, of course I'm upset about this
and I think there's sort of this weird
paradox of in understanding why we
might be so upset, we start to get
a little bit more ability to, pause
and to choose something different.
Mm-hmm.
Um, but it really comes
back to those three needs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so good.
And, and that is one of the really
most, I think, useful things.
There's so many useful things
in Shatterproof, but those
three Cs, just spot on.
Absolutely spot on.
Um, and the other thing from Insight,
the loving critic, that, that language, I
have to say I've stolen that many times.
Cool.
I mean, I do give you credit, but, um,
I just think that that phrase captures
exactly the kind of person that you want.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, we don't usually talk
about loving people in business, and
yet that's exactly who you want on
your team to be giving you feedback.
I, I, and most of my mentors
believe that it's all about
love in every part of our lives.
Yeah.
Otherwise, what are you doing?
That's exactly right.
What are you doing Matt Stone?
What's the, what's the point?
Yeah, exactly.
Okay.
Listen, we, you know, this is a short,
like, pre-launch video, so, uh, I
just have one more question to ask
you, and that is, I've told you even
some secrets about this show that
I'm not even gonna talk about now.
But we are planning a show, this is
gonna come out in 2026, and we're
planning a really entertaining, uh,
show about building great enterprises
about entrepreneurship, about
visionaries and about relationships,
but it's gonna be really entertaining.
So now that you know what I've
told you behind the scenes, let's
tease the audience a little bit.
What are you excited about with
the launch of this show in 2026?
So I am lucky enough to have
heard, uh, a lot about this.
And the observation I have is
this show is unlike any show.
That I've seen or heard before.
And ultimately, you know, it's, the
question is like, for what purpose?
For what purpose?
And I, as an entrepreneur, as a
fifth generation entrepreneur,
I hope I have some credibility
on which to base my opinion.
Um, I know this is gonna help so many
of my peers and my colleagues, people
who are, uh, stressed out strivers who
are trying to do big things in the world
and build enterprises and companies,
and, uh, I, I think it's gonna be a, a
place of community, a place of learning,
and a place of, uh, inspiration.
Wow.
Thank you so much for taking the time,
and it's great to see you in person.
Always great to see you.
Always great to see you.
So thank you, Tasha.
You've been a great gift to the audience.
Ah.
All right.
Thanks for listening to The Building
Business Relationships Show.
This pre-launch phase is all about
discovery, so if something sparked your
interest, I'd love to hear from you.
Share your thoughts, ideas, or guest
suggestions, and help us shape the
conversations that come, and of
course, subscribe, so you'll be the
first to know when we officially
launch and when new content drops.
Thanks for listening and watching.
We'll see you next time.