People Being Other People - DnD Actual Play

We say goodbye to Hogwild, and head toward the great Bismite Stone. We hear stories from the party's former lives, Uli wrestles a fire tornado, and Holly has an otherworldly experience.

Show Notes

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

What is People Being Other People - DnD Actual Play?

We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!

Tim / GM:

Less time on Cursebreaker. Just before we could extinguish the curse from Viri's flask, it collided with the bonfire burning in the center of the Wild Out Festival. Moments later, a giant boar made of burning debris emerged and set its sights on Dor as Uli played Matador in between them. The party gave all they had and tenderized the curse enough for my consumption. Bert was able to revive Viri and get the truth out of Toby Goshman, and the festival ended without any major tragedy.

Tim / GM:

It's a new day, and the fern glade awaits. Can our intrepid adventurers make all their preparations in just one episode? Let's find out.

Hannah / Eryn:

Here we go.

Thomas / Guy:

So over the

Tim / GM:

course of our last meeting, you all beat up a flaming boar creature. Tibio, was able to hit it with a curse break that, pretty much halved it, in terms of size and we'll say, HP value. You all did really well. You you ran interference on Dor and kept him alive. The last thing that happened last night, is that Tibio, took a little evening stroll and saw Gaspard, the necromantic bard in the alleyway again.

Tim / GM:

This time riding a dead horse And he gifted Tibio a little loot to, begin what might be Tibio's bardic adventure. We'll see.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Yes, bard.

Speaker 5:

Ghost bard.

Tim / GM:

It is the next day in Hogwild. There is a big bright blue sky before you and the sun is shining. You're all up early which is, quite different, from the day before when you all slept and hungover and defeated, from the gnoll attack and Joe's involvement. There's a there's a sort of, brisk energy to this morning. Where everybody seems to feel like things are actually good now.

Tim / GM:

And they're gonna be good for a good little while. You've all woken up at different times this morning, and I've been able to kind of take it easy. Uli, Uli approaches you, this morning. Letting know that he's about to leave soon actually, and that he's just, getting the cart figured out with Dor to kind of do this hand off. He also lets you know that the people of Hog Wild could use some money, to help rebuild.

Tim / GM:

And asking if there's anything you can do about that.

Speaker 5:

Do I look like I have any money at all?

Speaker 6:

I mean, knowing you, probably, you don't have a lot. But what about those Tildry folks you got with you?

Speaker 5:

Yeah. I could I can bring it up with the gang. I really can't promise much. Not that I don't wanna help.

Speaker 6:

And listen. We're not looking for, like, all your wealth.

Tim / GM:

I just I happen to know that adventurers sometimes come into, large pockets of money. Maybe we're thinking you guys might wanna offload. I mean,

Speaker 6:

the city of Hogwild certainly owes you a debt forever, but, also, we do need to

Tim / GM:

rebuild and, you know, we're not exactly flush.

Speaker 5:

Right. Yeah. I'll I'll bring it up. We're not really that kind of adventure. We've just we've handled a lot of cities that need help overthrowing the government, but it doesn't mean we're getting paid to do it.

Tim / GM:

Volunteer work.

Speaker 5:

Yeah.

Speaker 6:

Yeah. Well, that's too bad.

Tim / GM:

Let me know if you ever figure something out, though. I've also,

Speaker 6:

I've got some stuff for your, journey. I think, mom was helping

Tim / GM:

to pack it up if you wanna go check it out.

Speaker 5:

Okay. Okay. Will I see you around?

Tim / GM:

Depends. He, looks outside and and checks the sun. He says, I actually probably gotta get going pretty soon.

Speaker 5:

Alright. Well, it was good spending time with you, and I punch him on the shoulder.

Tim / GM:

He doesn't flinch this time. He just kinda smirks at you, and he says, it's good seeing you too. Let's not make it forever in between this time.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Yeah. I could I suppose I could do that.

Tim / GM:

He gives you kind of a, like, half convinced nod and, leaves and, shouts to your mom that, that you were gonna come take a look at the supplies you got there. Okay. The rest of you, how does this morning receive you?

Speaker 7:

Healed. Healed and rested and spell slotted.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Tibio, you, went ham with the curse breaking last night and gave it everything you had. You slept well. I'll tell you that. When you do this ritual every time, it it brings you down to absolute 0 in terms of capacity and, a well earned rest.

Tim / GM:

Mhmm.

Speaker 7:

Yeah. I wake up as everyone else is kind of getting ready as the town wakes up, and I just find a quiet spot outside in the sun. And I just kinda play with my loot a little bit and try and figure out

Tim / GM:

how

Hannah / Eryn:

the

Speaker 7:

hell you play one of these darn things.

Tim / GM:

I think, Viri's dad is helping load and unload some of the carts that Ulrich had brought, And he sees you playing there, and he sits down cross legged right in front of you. And just kind of watches you pluck away for a while, and he says, you know, I can play that banjo a little bit. I'm sure I could give you a couple of pointers.

Speaker 4:

Oh, that that would be wonderful.

Speaker 7:

And I'm, got my hand, like, on the top of the neck. Yeah. And my fingers are just kind of, like, holding down all the strings, and I'm trying to, like like, scratch it with my fingernails to strum. And I'm doing all sorts of weird shit.

Tim / GM:

Let's try a different approach. And, he kind of he mirrors you. So he just kinda like shows you the way you'd position your hand, kind of like gently using, your thumb pointer and middle fingers, on your right hand to kind of strum and pluck and then your left hand coming from below to press down the frets. He, he just kind of like makes a vague shape and you copy it with your hands and give it a strum and you just hear this like He says, that's better. Just a little more pressure.

Speaker 7:

I keep, trying and I try with my skeleton hands and then I try with my real hands when my arms are really short. So then I go back to my, like, skeleton hands and He

Tim / GM:

kinda smirks and says, everybody's approach is different. I know some people who like to play the top string with their thumb. But, yeah, you could play the whole thing with your skeleton.

Speaker 5:

It's not important, but you you call them Varys dead, and you're not wrong.

Speaker 6:

Oh.

Speaker 7:

Yeah. But also, technically correct.

Tim / GM:

I'm staring at the name Vireon here.

Hannah / Eryn:

Now you have a question on our game. Yeah. If Holly were to hook up with one of your brothers

Speaker 5:

Oh, just don't tell her.

Hannah / Eryn:

No. Who would it be? Benf. Benf? Is he the quiet one at the bar?

Speaker 7:

No. He's the bartender.

Hannah / Eryn:

He's the player. Okay. Well, Holly just wants to have a one night stand, not a romantic relationship. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

So I think, Vin, Uli's father, hands you a little wooden pick. Maybe one that he even made.

Hannah / Eryn:

Cool.

Tim / GM:

He says, I don't know that this is really the right thing for that instrument, but it might help as you're getting used to it.

Speaker 7:

Oh, certainly. I'll try it. And, I just I hold it, and I don't even use it. I'm still strumming with my fingers, but I'm holding it like I'm just supposed to keep it.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He just smirks and says, you'll figure it

Speaker 7:

out. I, I'm very distracted by the instrument, so I just, like, look up at him and, like, nod enthusiastically and thank him and then go back to it.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Yeah. You get a satisfying couple of of clear tones to come from the lutes, and you get, like, a little melody progression going that you just start doing over and over again.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Cool.

Tim / GM:

Walking out of, a residence in Hogwild is Holly Hyacinth into the bright daylight. And, Ben is wearing this, like, large deep cut v neck shirt Yeah. That reveals, like, most of his chest, and he's standing behind you, not wearing pants and eating an apple. And he says,

Speaker 6:

am I gonna see you again? Or what's the deal?

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, well, you know, it was a really lovely night. But, you know, I I have a lot of other things to take care of out in the world, and I can't make any promises is what I'm saying. But I'd love to see you again.

Speaker 6:

Sounds good. I'll, I'll be here for the foreseeable future.

Tim / GM:

I had a a great time.

Speaker 6:

You're,

Tim / GM:

you're welcome around these parts, whenever you find yourself crossing by Hogwild.

Speaker 6:

And, you know, we're kind of in

Tim / GM:

the middle of everything, so hoping it's often.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, you know, these parts are a lot better than I thought they would be, and Holly gives him a little kiss on

Speaker 7:

the cheek.

Speaker 6:

He goes, hey, o. Jesus.

Hannah / Eryn:

And she, walks off to go to I guess, everyone's or

Speaker 7:

people Saunters off.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. She, saunters off. No walk of shame from Holly. She is.

Speaker 7:

Walk of fame.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yes. Yeah. Not embarrassed at all.

Tim / GM:

You take, like, 3 steps away from there and, you walk right into Barrett, the quiet bouncer, who is like looking at you. And then he looks up at the open door and he says, I was looking for Uli.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. I haven't seen her. I've been, hanging out with Ben all night. But, did you check your parents' house?

Speaker 5:

No. Okay.

Tim / GM:

Can you give these to her? He hands you 3, like, small corked little, like, mason jar vials, with this, like, blue fizzy liquid inside.

Speaker 7:

Aw, cute.

Tim / GM:

Yes. These are the last 3 that we have. They're called Ouli Koolies.

Hannah / Eryn:

Wait. What what was it?

Tim / GM:

They're called Ouli Koolies. It's a drink we made for Ooly when we were younger, but it kind of restores magic, I think.

Hannah / Eryn:

Mhmm. Cool. Yeah. I'll definitely go into Ooly. It's really nice of you guys.

Thomas / Guy:

Bert was also up all night. He was, he was studying those books that Snack got back from the librarian.

Tim / GM:

So, Bert, why don't you give me, an investigation with Advantage?

Speaker 8:

Oh. Well, I'm

Thomas / Guy:

gonna use channel divinity to read those.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Thomas / Guy:

14.

Tim / GM:

What does your channel divinity do?

Thomas / Guy:

Gives me proficiency on anything I want.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

God powers.

Tim / GM:

Yep. So you you find some passages that are interesting, but less informative in terms of payoff than you would hope. So you spend a lot of the night reading a section that is ultimately flavor. So you learn a lot about what it looks like when you get there. So this book, the first one you cracked into was all about the fern glade, and what that is, and what that looks like.

Tim / GM:

So the fern glade is host to the most, ancient magic

Hannah / Eryn:

Hostess with the mostess.

Tim / GM:

That this world has to offer. That includes things like Fae magic. This is one of the few places where, the Fae have a foothold in your plane. So that's something that you can, expect to see while you're there. You also got clarification on a comment that came up earlier which was that, the Fern Glade is known as a swamp, but it's really not.

Tim / GM:

It's it's a very, water heavy forest where there's a lot of these clear pools, a very still water, where you learn that, like, a lot of animals, like, end up dying in those pools. It seems like there's, like, a a weird contrast of, like, serenity and grimness that kind of pervades this place, which goes hand in hand with all the, like, tales of, like, Fae and, like, the undead that come out of the front glade.

Speaker 8:

Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

Are the trees, like, the kind that, the roots are, like, up in the water, kinda where it's, like, you can see the roots, but then they go into the clear pools, sort of.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

That's how I'm imagining it.

Tim / GM:

There's even some trees that just sort of seem to jut straight out of the middle of one of these pools. And so, you can see all these raised roots as the body of the trunk is right above the surface of the water there. Cool.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, good morning. But, Bonjour, Tipio.

Speaker 4:

Very good morning to you as well.

Thomas / Guy:

Yes, it is. How are you feeling vis a vis going back to your home, the Fernglade?

Speaker 4:

I feel, but trepidation, excitement as well.

Thomas / Guy:

Me too. I hope we have a.

Tim / GM:

Oh, that's good. That's a good episode

Thomas / Guy:

title. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5:

I did it y'all.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, great talk, Tibeo. Marci beaucoup.

Speaker 7:

We Darienne Monami.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. I think I pulled that off.

Speaker 7:

Tibio walks away just like, pleased that Bert tried and also a little confused Yeah.

Speaker 8:

Because it

Speaker 7:

was so bad. That's how real French people will feel about my entire performance this podcast.

Tim / GM:

Snack. You are actually, kind of in the middle of the action this morning. You noticed that Ulrich is looking for you or your party to get the wagon and help load it up with supplies.

Speaker 9:

For what purpose do you need this whole, Rick?

Speaker 6:

It's for you, your

Tim / GM:

and your friends. We got a

Speaker 6:

bunch of, extra supplies for your adventure

Tim / GM:

so you don't have to, you know, spend money and go hungry.

Speaker 9:

We do not need this charity.

Speaker 10:

And I take out the lamp and I throw, like, a 100 gold on the ground.

Tim / GM:

He kneels down and says, hey.

Speaker 6:

How much more of this do you have?

Speaker 9:

How much do you think?

Speaker 6:

Well, if this is just what spilled out, I'm gonna think a little bit more.

Speaker 9:

Yes. Of course. And I tipped

Speaker 10:

the lamp upside down and dumped it all on the ground. Fuck.

Tim / GM:

Are any of you near enough to see what's going on here?

Speaker 7:

I was sitting outside. Where are they?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. They're kind of in the center of town. Easy to notice.

Thomas / Guy:

I went to go find another one that she should be.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. Molly's around.

Speaker 10:

Okay. I climb into the gold pile

Speaker 9:

and say, we have so much we don't even know what to do with all of this.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh my god. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

I think Uli, Tibio, and and, Holly and Burn, if you wanted to see this happening in the middle of town and Snack is sort of swimming in the gold.

Speaker 5:

Oh oh, god.

Hannah / Eryn:

Snack. Hey, Snack. What are you doing? What

Tim / GM:

is it?

Hannah / Eryn:

You can't do this.

Speaker 9:

I'm helping Ulrich with this wagon.

Tim / GM:

Ulrich looks at Ullie and says, you were holding out on me.

Speaker 5:

I did not

Speaker 9:

This is not Ullie's. This is snacks.

Speaker 5:

No. Well, I see that's debatable too. Snacks Is it? Does not tell us things that he should, maybe.

Hannah / Eryn:

Wait. So you just need some money for the town?

Speaker 6:

Well, yeah. We're looking to get some help with repairs. They can get by with that fountain for a little while, but they're gonna want to rebuild, and there's quite a bit of repairs that need to happen.

Speaker 9:

Who is the sheriff of this town? He's gone. It was law. Do you remember him? That's right.

Speaker 9:

Well, they would, of course, need to swear allegiance to the curse breakers. Right? No.

Hannah / Eryn:

No, Snack. This is

Speaker 9:

Eddie's promise is a strong promise.

Speaker 4:

Snack. No. No. Gentlemen's agreeance. No.

Speaker 4:

No. No. We

Speaker 5:

this is my family.

Thomas / Guy:

Destroy their water tower.

Speaker 4:

We should help them. Were we not going to help them?

Speaker 9:

Asked me to destroy the water tower

Thomas / Guy:

After you destroyed the water tower.

Speaker 4:

Ulrich, how much money would be helpful?

Speaker 6:

That's a tough question, but I think we could get back on

Tim / GM:

our feet with it sounds steep, but if

Speaker 6:

you guys could even loan us a 1,000 gold, that would go a long way to help repair.

Speaker 4:

A thou 1,000? I think that

Speaker 6:

Just for timbers and masonry. We can pay back what we don't use.

Speaker 7:

No. No. No. Of course. You should keep it.

Hannah / Eryn:

Have it. It's okay.

Thomas / Guy:

That's fine by me.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. This is

Speaker 9:

part of fine by all of you.

Speaker 4:

Snack, what need do you have for money?

Speaker 9:

We need allies, Timmy.

Speaker 4:

We don't need to buy allies. We are making allies all the time. Snack.

Speaker 7:

Can I start, like, sitting on the ground and, like, counting out

Hannah / Eryn:

a bunch of gold? Snack, listen.

Speaker 9:

What is it, Dolly?

Hannah / Eryn:

We're getting this whole town to be our ally right now by building their water tower back.

Speaker 9:

Yes. Of course.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Clink. Plink.

Speaker 5:

You do remember where we got this money. Right?

Speaker 9:

Yes. It was, I we got it. Yes. Of course. Of course, I remember.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Yeah. We all fought the big bone dragon.

Speaker 9:

Yes. But I yeah. Of course. Mhmm.

Speaker 10:

And then I

Speaker 9:

got the silver bars and they became gold.

Thomas / Guy:

You

Speaker 9:

Because the magic man who transformed

Speaker 5:

That is right. But we're all your allies. Of course. Right.

Speaker 9:

Because we have all purchased each other's allegiances.

Speaker 4:

Yes.

Hannah / Eryn:

See, Snack, you understand why we need to help this town. Mhmm. We're buying our all our allies.

Speaker 5:

And we should maybe give it to Holly to hold on to. Or to Vio?

Thomas / Guy:

You were just saying you don't know what to do with all this gold.

Speaker 9:

We don't know what to do. We well, I understand now we're buying allies and well, it's much more manageable now. I I think with the 1,000 gun, there's probably only, like,

Speaker 10:

a 100.

Speaker 7:

Tibio is sitting on the ground shaking his head and is, like, handing 100 at a time to Ulrich.

Speaker 9:

I need enough to make sure I can do this,

Speaker 10:

and then I lay on my back and I, do this gold angel. As long as

Speaker 9:

I have this much.

Speaker 4:

No. No, Snag. Your messing it up. I was counting.

Speaker 5:

That does look kinda fun, though. Can I can I just try it once?

Speaker 9:

Of course, Ollie.

Speaker 5:

Fine. I lay down on my back.

Tim / GM:

Ollie just lays next to snack, and they're both just doing jingling gold angels in the dirt. Some of the townspeople are walking by giving you guys a little bit of side eye. Ulrich

Thomas / Guy:

We're we're giving you some.

Tim / GM:

Ulrich calls out to his brothers. He says, Barrett, Benth,

Speaker 6:

we got a whale.

Tim / GM:

And, they come walking over. And, they're flabbergasted that you guys are possessing this much wealth. And, Barrett says this much is for us, for repairs?

Speaker 7:

This much and I pass them the 1,000.

Tim / GM:

Ben's eyes kinda go wide, and he says, wow. We've never had a night like that.

Speaker 4:

Well, we are happy to help considering we maybe helped destroy some of the town.

Tim / GM:

The 3 brothers kinda, like, nod at each other and then they all looked down at Uli.

Speaker 5:

Hey. Living a dream here.

Speaker 6:

Ben says, you know what? I'm not that worried about you, Uli.

Tim / GM:

I think you're gonna be fine.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. I got some pretty good allies.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. They get squared away with all their finances here.

Speaker 7:

So 6,000 gold, how much does that weigh? Are we gonna worry about that?

Tim / GM:

I think it's 50 gold pieces to a pound.

Speaker 4:

Oof.

Speaker 6:

So it

Tim / GM:

gets heavy fast. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why the lamp kind of makes it all work.

Hannah / Eryn:

I think Holly can just have a coin pouch you're holding.

Tim / GM:

Oh, was that what you think?

Hannah / Eryn:

No. Like, that was just an old one for a coins only.

Tim / GM:

Yes. I'm gonna say, yes, it's a coin pouch of holding. Nothing else can go in there, and it doesn't count as an extra dimensional object.

Speaker 8:

Okay. Okay.

Tim / GM:

Great.

Speaker 9:

Snack will not pot with more than half.

Tim / GM:

Okay. So that's 3,000 at this point?

Speaker 7:

No. I, I give him 3 gold, and I tell him that that's half.

Speaker 9:

This is not half Tibio. This is stupid,

Speaker 10:

and I throw it on the ground and I try to make an angel look.

Speaker 9:

Look, I'm just getting muddy this dumb.

Speaker 4:

No. You just

Thomas / Guy:

He's right. Half is at least twice that much, Tibio.

Speaker 4:

Oh, you know what you are, and I

Speaker 7:

give him another handful. This is

Speaker 10:

Alright.

Speaker 9:

Oh, I forgot I was hiding some.

Speaker 10:

And I, flicker my hands in the air, and I make a bunch more, gold coin sign on the ground.

Tim / GM:

Like illusory gold? No.

Speaker 5:

Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

You can just make gold?

Speaker 10:

Yeah. A 5 foot cube of gold wait. Slams onto the ground. Okay.

Speaker 9:

This is your half Tibeo. I forgot I was hiding this.

Speaker 10:

And I scoop up their the gold on the ground.

Speaker 7:

Yeah. Tibio's mama didn't raise no fools.

Tim / GM:

These these these, like, neat stacks of gold coins just kind of, like, all clunk onto the ground at once.

Speaker 7:

Chibio rolls his eyes hard.

Tim / GM:

Something like 15,000 gold pieces in this brick.

Speaker 4:

How about that is your half? It seems to be more than what I have.

Speaker 9:

This is all I need. I'm a humble dragon.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Ben picks up one of the coins and he bites, and

Speaker 6:

he goes, guys, this is real gold.

Speaker 5:

For now.

Speaker 10:

Well, friends, as I like scram like I'm, scraping up the gold into the lamp Yeah. On all fours.

Speaker 9:

This was a good negotiation.

Speaker 10:

I'm glad we are all in agreement.

Speaker 7:

Can Can we do some sort of contested something to figure out who gets the majority

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. Of the real gold?

Speaker 7:

I don't The actual real gold?

Tim / GM:

I don't think any kind of acumen really helps this case. I'm gonna say

Thomas / Guy:

Greed roll.

Tim / GM:

Greed roll. Just a d 20.

Thomas / Guy:

I think Snack's greed stat is much higher than Tibia.

Speaker 10:

I think 8.

Tim / GM:

Oh, no. Half and half.

Thomas / Guy:

Yes. That gotcha. Through what I wanted.

Tim / GM:

Through all What the fuck? Through all

Speaker 9:

of the fighting What

Tim / GM:

the way? Trickery and everything, you both end up with exactly half That

Speaker 7:

was nuts.

Thomas / Guy:

Tibio, I hope this isn't a faux pas, but I do have a use for some of that money that would benefit the curse breakers.

Speaker 4:

Yes. Of course. What what did you have in mind?

Thomas / Guy:

Well, I just need to find the place that will sell reagents, and I think I have a way we can spy on Joe wherever he is.

Speaker 4:

That would be quite the advantage.

Thomas / Guy:

It could be could be pretty pricey. I've seen some of these things go for a 1,000 gold.

Speaker 4:

Oof.

Speaker 5:

What do you need?

Thomas / Guy:

Some sort of focus, like a crystal ball, you know, one of those old timey things.

Hannah / Eryn:

Did someone say crystal ball and Holly, like, sidles up to the conversation? She was just standing a little ways away.

Speaker 5:

I like crystals.

Thomas / Guy:

You could certainly help me pick out the right one.

Hannah / Eryn:

Sounds intriguing. I've never dabbled in crystal balls before. Only real crystals. What?

Thomas / Guy:

Nothing. Nothing.

Speaker 7:

To answer your question from the last time, the answer is no. We cannot get this done in an

Hannah / Eryn:

episode. Yeah.

Thomas / Guy:

I just don't know where to go. I'm guessing the Fernglaid doesn't have these sort of specialty shops all over the place.

Speaker 4:

We do not have shops per se.

Tim / GM:

There there is also, on the edge of the Fernglade, a small settlement, that has been known to sell magical wares found in the fern glade as almost like a novelty shop.

Speaker 4:

There is a sort of, trading post outside of the Fernglaed that has all sorts of magical objects.

Hannah / Eryn:

I don't know exactly the geography, but do we pass back through Tilderie to get to the Fernglades?

Speaker 4:

No. We do this. Believe

Thomas / Guy:

we're going south.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay. East. I never really left Tilderie before now, so I don't know where anything is. And Holly just smiles, ping. Like, I've never looked at a map before.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, that place sounds perfect. Maybe we'll get lucky. Do a little Antican. Tegan.

Tim / GM:

The, morning, moves on here as you're all making your preparations and, doing your laundry or whatever you feel like you need to do in the last few minutes. You see at one point, Dor is speaking with Emery and Dave. It looks like they're kind of like suiting up for battle, in some ways. You know that Dor is destined for Vindorn. His journey begins, at the end of the week.

Tim / GM:

He just has to go a little farther north to meet the rest of his company. And then they're gonna make a trek out to Vindorn.

Speaker 5:

Can I go up to them?

Speaker 6:

Yeah. Vampires are dangerous. Sure. But I mean, rip their

Tim / GM:

heads off, stab them in the heart, they'll die like anything else.

Speaker 6:

Morning, Uli.

Speaker 5:

Hey. Are you all heading out together?

Tim / GM:

No. I mean, sounds like they're going to

Speaker 6:

Vindor eventually, but I'll just see them up there.

Speaker 5:

Emery and Dave?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Points to the 2 of them.

Speaker 5:

Okay. You guys traveling buddies now?

Tim / GM:

Seems that way, at least for the immediate future.

Speaker 6:

We're going to head out west and then north. There's another path to Vindorn. Alright.

Speaker 5:

Hey, Dave, would you keep this on you for a while? And I give him the tracking ring.

Tim / GM:

Really. I

Speaker 5:

It's not no. It's not what it looks like. I just want to be able to keep an eye on the 2 of you.

Tim / GM:

He, like, tries to slip it onto one of his fingers, and then he searches around for his pinky. And it just barely fits on there, and he says, it's a promise.

Speaker 5:

Oh. Yeah. A promise that I will come find you guys at some point.

Tim / GM:

And Emery just kind of grimly says, it's a tracking ring. She literally can see you at all times.

Speaker 5:

And I'm giving it to someone who will keep it on them this time.

Tim / GM:

I did exactly what I said I was gonna do. I left it when I found Joe.

Speaker 5:

And then you got chained to a ceiling and left for dead. So, Dave, will you please keep this on you?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yep. Thank you. Ouch.

Speaker 5:

And please try and keep Emery out of trouble and in your sights.

Tim / GM:

He'll be good. Emery says, I'll be good.

Speaker 5:

Perception check? Jesus Christ. Insight. Insight, vibe check, 13.

Tim / GM:

They're gonna have a bunch of boy nights. Cheetos and video

Speaker 5:

games. Alright. Have a good trip and I slap Emery on the arm. See you around.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He he seems to like it. God.

Speaker 10:

Camaraderie. Are

Speaker 9:

they leaving town? Stop there, please.

Tim / GM:

The 3 of them turned to look back at you.

Speaker 9:

Yes. I must speak with you all.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. The the 3 of them, each tall and powerful in their own right. I think Emery is probably the shortest out of the 3 of them, but they're all still towering over your 5 foot frame.

Speaker 10:

I I'll stand, very erect and, kinda march over trying to be bold and big.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Emery.

Speaker 9:

Emery, I must speak with you in private.

Tim / GM:

Okay. What's this about?

Speaker 9:

I can't tell you right now because there are trying years.

Tim / GM:

Sure. Snack, we can talk. Excuse us. He kinda steps away with you. Like, not very far from that group at all.

Tim / GM:

They might still be able to hear you.

Speaker 9:

Emery, I, we saw much of what you have, suffered. Do you recall?

Tim / GM:

He he kind of drops the cockiness and, he stares at the ground and nods his head.

Speaker 9:

Emery, I have something I wish to share with you.

Tim / GM:

It's not an eyeball, is it?

Speaker 9:

I do not think to bring one. If you are in need, do

Tim / GM:

let me know. Please, no.

Speaker 9:

Emery, I know something of what it is like to be you. Not quite, but well, maybe now is not the time.

Tim / GM:

Spit it out, dragon man.

Speaker 9:

I cannot speak of this now, but, I have something for you.

Speaker 10:

And, bidet comes out from beside a bush.

Speaker 9:

Emery, I wish to, beseech you this immortal donkey. He is loyal, and he would carry goods for you.

Tim / GM:

Hackmule is good. I have to ask why?

Speaker 9:

I want you to be safe, Emery, on this journey, this to Vindorn.

Tim / GM:

I see. And this is going to help?

Speaker 9:

But they, give him give him your list of services.

Tim / GM:

The date turns and starts making this And just carries on for, like, 30 seconds.

Speaker 9:

Yes, of course. I forgot about the fact that you can stop at spiders if they are close.

Speaker 6:

That's right. And and I can be a pillow on

Tim / GM:

the coldest of nights. Yes.

Speaker 9:

He's quite warm at all times, Emery. And one other thing.

Speaker 10:

I, hold out the cloak, to the side and, like, theatrically, grab out the wand of disintegration.

Speaker 9:

This has one charge, Emory, and it's quite powerful.

Tim / GM:

Of what? And he, grabs it and turns around in his hands.

Speaker 9:

This will disintegrate pretty much anything you point at it.

Tim / GM:

He immediately, like, points it right at you and he goes.

Speaker 10:

I I missed you step away and jump into the tree.

Speaker 9:

Don't do that, Emery. You must be careful of such things.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. He gets a huge kick out of that and

Thomas / Guy:

just starts

Tim / GM:

laughing to himself.

Speaker 10:

I crawl back down.

Tim / GM:

He says I appreciate the gifts and I I understand, kind of but why it's so friendly all of a sudden I thought I was kind of a thorn in your side I certainly don't deserve this

Speaker 9:

You do. You do deserve this, Emory. And do return my donkey to me next we see each other. I have heard word that we are traveling to Fernglades and it's full of puddles and M'Bdai does not like getting his hooves wet. I have noticed this.

Tim / GM:

That all makes sense, I suppose. But I feel like I'm kind of playing hot potato with this donkey. What if he, you know, and he draws like a finger across his neck?

Speaker 9:

I, have reason to believe that will not happen.

Tim / GM:

Well, that's ominous. I humbly accept. Thank you, snack. Farewell. He kinda like holds up his hand to grab the reins of bidet and bidet, like, won't move away from you right away.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh. Aw. Bidet, my buddy.

Speaker 9:

Bide, your services are no longer needed by me for now.

Tim / GM:

He's pulling pretty hard.

Speaker 9:

Yes. Well, you'll have to

Speaker 10:

you know, you have

Speaker 9:

a 100 plus years of youth in you now, and do take care of yourself a day.

Tim / GM:

Suppose my work on this earth isn't done yet.

Speaker 10:

You know what? I take out a rope and cut off a piece and take a pouch and fill it with, like, a 100 gold.

Speaker 9:

This is for you a bidet, should you need anything.

Tim / GM:

He tries to eat it.

Thomas / Guy:

What the fuck?

Speaker 9:

Yes. Use it how you wish.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. It's just barely hanging out of his mouth. You can see that he's gonna keep it. But it nods to you understanding now that its mission is to be with Emery. And, they kind of walk off together.

Tim / GM:

And Emery stops every now and then to give it another tug.

Speaker 7:

It is.

Speaker 4:

Not fast.

Speaker 8:

Yeah. Then

Tim / GM:

they, they move off together.

Thomas / Guy:

Also, he

Speaker 5:

can die if he's killed.

Tim / GM:

Snack does not understand this. So the fern blade is your target. Just getting to the edge of the woods is more than a day's journey away. You all know this going in. You do know that a little over the halfway mark to the Fernglades is a giant landmark.

Tim / GM:

This enormous mountain like crystal that's that springs up from the rocky plains out East. It is called the bismite stone. This is a giant cubic crystal that nobody really understands why it's there or how it got there or why it affects magic the way it does. Each of you have actually passed by the Bismite stone once in your life. That is everyone except for Holly.

Tim / GM:

Holly's never been out this way.

Hannah / Eryn:

I'm guessing Holly would have maybe heard of it, like, in Probably. Stories and stuff.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

But she's definitely never seen it or anything.

Tim / GM:

It's the kind of thing where Bismite has, like, worked itself into Fable as, like, you know, wizards have it just because it's like a mysterious rock kind of thing. Mhmm. But, Uli, you remember being a kid. You're pretty young, maybe in your early teens. Growing up, your kind of family hangout group was Barrett, Benthe, and Ilya.

Tim / GM:

You were all the closest in age, and you all kind of did the most hanging out if anybody had to do hanging out.

Speaker 5:

It was the 4 of us?

Speaker 6:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 8:

So it

Tim / GM:

was the 4 of you heading out to the Bismite stones. But you you knew where they were. You knew that other people had seen them, some of your friends. But you'd never been out that way yourself, and none of you were prepared for exactly how long it was gonna take to get there. The journey did not go well.

Tim / GM:

It was pretty uncomfortable And, everybody was in like a really sour shitty mood. And it was almost sundown by the time you even got there, leaving you almost no time to enjoy them.

Speaker 5:

Whose idea was this anyway?

Speaker 6:

Ilya says, it was your idea for the last time, and now we all have to suffer because of that.

Speaker 5:

I I don't think that's right. I think it was Benth.

Tim / GM:

Benth goes,

Speaker 6:

no. No. She's right. It was you.

Speaker 5:

No. I couldn't be.

Tim / GM:

Ilya turns and says, this was

Speaker 6:

your idea. Stop trying to wiggle out of this.

Speaker 5:

Stop picking on me.

Tim / GM:

Bara just goes, enough.

Speaker 5:

Well, we're here. As you're

Speaker 8:

kind of, rounding

Tim / GM:

this rocky cliff face, you can finally get a good view out into the plains here and you can see, the bismite stone out in the field and it's it's kind of incredible to behold the scale of this thing coming up at a right angle, so that the point is going straight towards the sky. It's got these like, concentric square faces that go down to these hollow midpoints and, where it's not completely caked in dirt and overgrowth, you can see some kind of radiant blue and violet shimmer coming from this crystal.

Speaker 8:

Woah.

Speaker 5:

That's that's really cool, actually.

Tim / GM:

You realize you're the only one talking because the rest of your family is speechless just beholding this thing.

Speaker 5:

Race you guys to the summit.

Tim / GM:

And you like take off before they do and it will be running through the field here. You notice that there are smaller versions of this kind of all around dotting the field. Some of the edges are actually rather sharp and you're afraid of stepping on them, but when you pass by a sizable bismite stone, you feel almost like a sort of magnetic repulsion kind of brush against you. But it almost feels like a warm hug at the same time. As you move through this area, you you just feel right.

Tim / GM:

Like, you've been off center or offset your whole life, and somehow, the tracking all just suddenly clicks into place while you're here.

Speaker 5:

I just kind of mulled that over while I'm running.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You're the first to get there by far and the rest of your family catches up and is breathing heavy and they're all kind of laughing now. You were all fighting and in a sour mood just a few minutes ago, but ever since you got here, things have just felt better. Nobody's really saying anything. And then Ilya looks at you and kind of like slaps you on the belly, and she goes, and she runs away.

Speaker 5:

Hey. No fair. I chase her.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You you sprint after her and kind of make this big lap around the bismite stone. And, that that sets the tone for the rest of the night. You guys didn't plan on being there very long, but lo and behold, you do stay for multiple hours into the dark. Just enjoying each other's company.

Tim / GM:

And not once while you're there do you surge. Not once do you lose control. And not once do you feel like an outsider.

Speaker 5:

So it's like my fondest memory.

Tim / GM:

You could say that.

Speaker 5:

Are there any loose stones?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. For sure.

Speaker 5:

Could I just grab a small one? Yeah. Okay. That's it.

Tim / GM:

A snack. You remember the first time you saw these stones? Was maybe only a few months ago. It was on your way south, out of the mountains of Vindorn and that whole area. You were still sort of getting acquainted with Genie and learning what that relationship was going to be like.

Tim / GM:

Earlier that afternoon, you had been chased across the plains by what could only be described as a great plated donkey, that dives into the earth and bursts back out like some sort of sea creature. Yes. Devouring everything in its path. You've been hiding beneath this giant angular stone for hours just hoping that it's actually gone now.

Speaker 10:

So, Pause, this is a flashback? Yes. I'm sorry.

Tim / GM:

All of these are flashbacks.

Speaker 7:

Get ready for your flashbacks, kids.

Thomas / Guy:

For its flowing long hair.

Speaker 7:

And his mustache to his knees.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah, man. We're all, like, made of bismuth.

Tim / GM:

Anyway.

Speaker 10:

Stack takes out a long, bent nail that he keeps with him

Speaker 8:

Mhmm.

Speaker 10:

And just throws it out into the field and then, like, hides behind the rock and looks out and sees what happens.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You're fully expecting the Earth to explode as this thing opens its jaw and does one of those arching jumps through the air, but you give it a minute and you see no action out there.

Speaker 10:

I fumbled for the lamp and I hit it against the rock, like, 3 times.

Tim / GM:

You see, if using from it is Genie looking very rattled and dizzy, Comes out and says,

Speaker 6:

ah, master snack, how may I be of service?

Speaker 9:

For what reason are we coming to this surface world to get me killed, Genie?

Tim / GM:

You said you like moving better at night. It's easier. Right?

Speaker 6:

The sunlight isn't so bad.

Speaker 9:

Yes. It's true. But, there are creatures here.

Tim / GM:

There are creatures at night. That's the trade off.

Speaker 9:

Different types of donkeys.

Tim / GM:

Well.

Speaker 9:

This is a strange, formation. Is this normal on the surface world?

Tim / GM:

Oh. And

Speaker 10:

I turn around and look at the bismite.

Tim / GM:

Genie kind of, like, backs up to get a look at this whole thing. And then he kind of looks down at you, with a little bit of concern in his face.

Speaker 6:

He says, snack This is a special place. Now, don't get alarmed if I sort of,

Tim / GM:

you see Genie's face. It's almost like you're seeing his face through a mirror that has shattered into squares. It sort of cuts him into little pieces and then he sort of like reassembles.

Speaker 9:

This was not funny, Genie. I'm asking you serious questions.

Speaker 6:

Nope. Sorry. Unintentional. This place is very strange with magic. It's, it's a spooky rock.

Speaker 9:

Can we bring it with us? Will it fit in the lamp?

Speaker 10:

And I try to stuff it in the lamp by, like, pushing the lamp against it.

Tim / GM:

He says, let me help. And he comes up and tries to, like, help you push it in. He says, I don't think so, Snack.

Speaker 6:

This one might not fit.

Speaker 9:

This is terrible. I didn't mean to upset you. I like it, Genie. This is a neat thing.

Speaker 6:

What about this one?

Tim / GM:

And he, like, picks up, like, a little tiny fragment that looks similar.

Speaker 9:

No. That's dumb. It's very small. Why would I care?

Speaker 6:

Yes. It's it's just a rock. We'll leave it.

Speaker 9:

Well, I I suppose, we we can grab it too.

Tim / GM:

He plunks it into the lamp.

Speaker 9:

Genie, do let me know if that creature approaches again. That was quite, frightening. He

Tim / GM:

says, I certainly he stops talking and he, like, turns around and looks and he, like, holds down a finger to you, which is uncharacteristic. He's usually very polite, but he's doing a very quick like shut up motion.

Speaker 8:

I

Speaker 9:

take it seriously.

Tim / GM:

Jeanie says, snack. There are people coming.

Speaker 10:

I started digging a hole on the ground, and I'd set the lamp in there and then, jump in it.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. You jump into the lamp and, when you do, it causes the lamp to, like, list side to side, and then it tips over and disturbs some pebbles. You hear, the very distant voices from inside the lamp. You can hear 3 adventurers outside that are moving down this path and they say you hear them say, what was that?

Tim / GM:

We should check it out. Are you sure? That looks dangerous. This group walks up and you hear the crunching of gravel as they approach and they pick up the lamp. And one of them says, you don't think it's a

Speaker 6:

magic lamp, do you?

Tim / GM:

I'd be awfully lucky. And they just kind of, like, bang it on the rock again and again and you can feel that trembling and, and Jeanie does not like it.

Speaker 10:

And I jump out of

Speaker 9:

the lamp. Enough of this.

Tim / GM:

They all, like, look at each other and they go, Kobold. And they all, like, draw their weapons.

Speaker 9:

Do not dare attack me. I am a powerful dragon.

Tim / GM:

They, kinda look at each other not expecting it to speak common and, one of them, like, draws back a bow with that and has it pointed straight down at you. And they say, say your last words.

Speaker 9:

Last words last words. How about boom?

Speaker 10:

And then I I cast thunder wave, is that fine?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 10:

Yeah. So yeah. I'm gonna spell.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I'll just do a quick save. We'll say your save is what you started with as your save. They got a 12. What was your starting spell save d c?

Tim / GM:

Do you remember?

Speaker 10:

It would be a greater than 12.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. So I think they all get ejected from that position. You see them, perfectly get split in a triangular fashion. 1 of them goes up against the bismite stone, the other 2 get thrown out back onto the path.

Tim / GM:

You see Ginny pop out a little bit and say, snack snack, please don't kill them.

Speaker 9:

Why I don't like this rule.

Tim / GM:

They don't understand, snack. They don't know what you are.

Speaker 10:

They should know now, I say as I look at one of them.

Tim / GM:

And, you you see that one that you had sent flying is now, reaching for a blade at their side. Genie says, snack violence begets violence. This is how it will go. You need to show them that you're not a violent creature.

Speaker 9:

There's one way to stop violence.

Speaker 10:

And I'd shoot the one that's reaching at its knife with eldritch blast.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Give me a d 20 just to see how that goes. 14 ish. Yeah. I think even that hits him.

Tim / GM:

Okay. So you nail that guy who was reaching down for a blade and you see their hand get scorched and they bring it up to their chest and they they breathe heavy a couple times and then it seems that they've passed out.

Speaker 10:

Looking at the others, I say, do not follow me.

Tim / GM:

They kind of look at each other and you can see that they're like creeping away backwards with fear.

Speaker 9:

Know that I would love to murder all of you, but I have other plans for the night.

Tim / GM:

They kind of nod solemnly, and one of them, like, runs over to the person that you had downed.

Speaker 10:

I pick up the lamp and start walking away.

Tim / GM:

As you get farther away from them, you hear one person call back. Curse you. Curse you forever, and all you hold dear will find you, and we'll bring more.

Speaker 10:

I stop, and I turn around, and I go back.

Speaker 6:

Snack, what are you doing?

Speaker 9:

Well, he did curse me, didn't he?

Speaker 6:

It's just a thing that angry people say, Snack. They have no way of finding you. Which one

Speaker 9:

of you, cursed me? You kind of, like,

Tim / GM:

come right back around the corner as they're hoping to just resuscitate their friend, and you can see they're still struggling. And, they look up at you pale as a ghost.

Speaker 9:

Why would you do such a thing? I just said I didn't want to leave without murdering you.

Tim / GM:

For what you've done. Look. Look what you've done. And you can see them kind of like starting to like sob and the other person, like, the other person looks like they know they're gonna

Speaker 9:

die. I spare you yet again. Know that you should not strike in violence like you have and do not curse me. I give you this mercy, and I leave.

Tim / GM:

Bert. You also remember coming by these stones. Yours was actually a good deal before anyone else's, I think. Bert, you were here to work on your thesis, traveling alone. You were still on the fence about whether or not you wanted to really commit yourself to a life at the librarian.

Tim / GM:

But as you got close to this thing, you well, when you first got here, the feeling you got around these stones was just kind of pure goodness. I think, you feel contentment and almost zen as you sit before this crystal and just kind of stare at it. All you're doing is is detailing in your style, mysterious landmarks across this world. As sort of a amateur travel guide. But during that, you actually begin to fall asleep.

Tim / GM:

Or that's what it feels like. Years later, what you realize is that this was a trance. You're about to really see something worth seeing in this trance and you're suddenly woken up. You had sat down with your dinner ready to eat when you were staring at this large crystal. It seems somebody has picked up that dinner, the whole basket and has run away with it or are currently running away with it.

Thomas / Guy:

What? I almost had it. Oh, and I almost had my dinner too. Get back here.

Tim / GM:

They're they're pretty far away, and you're not what you'd call a runner.

Thomas / Guy:

I, chase after him for a little while and then no use. Enjoy the dinner, you jerk. Well, at least this rock is pretty cool.

Tim / GM:

You kind of resume that trance and it doesn't take you long before you get back to exactly where you were. You you begin to understand something as you see the words play out before you. And it says, what answers do you seek?

Speaker 9:

I seek

Thomas / Guy:

truth.

Tim / GM:

At the mention of the word truth, you see a flash of something you've only seen once before in your life. It is a large hand carved porcelain book. An open book. This sits in the peak of the tower of knowledge in the highest atrium. Before this book is a large crystal through which sunlight shines and that casts shadows onto this porcelain book.

Tim / GM:

And those shadows spell out the knowledge of the world. All collected knowledge of Tildry. This is what you see when you channel divinity. Ah. These words play out on this book and you have these visions where knowledge is given to your mind that you couldn't possibly have found yourself.

Thomas / Guy:

This is amazing. It's everything I've ever wanted to know.

Tim / GM:

It's like finding the Internet for the first time. Suddenly, everything is at your fingertips. It's sort of overwhelming, and just when you're getting to something, you you remembered. Oh my God. This is the one thing I've been wondering my whole life, and you're about to read the text off the page to get those satisfying answers, and then you're woken up again.

Tim / GM:

This time by somebody screaming.

Thomas / Guy:

What what's that? I look around to see

Tim / GM:

who it is. You can kinda tell where it's coming from. Do you chase it down?

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. I'll try to be sneaky about it, I guess.

Tim / GM:

Sure. Yeah. You definitely, they don't see you, but you see them as you sort of round this corner, hiding yourself in a bush as best you can. You see your picnic basket is laid out on the ground and the contents have been rifled through. There's a man and a woman.

Tim / GM:

The woman is leaning over the man. The man is convulsing on the ground. You see a handful of, some wild fruits that you had picked that he had eaten that is causing an allergic reaction. You behold this scene and in a flash, in an instant, you see this yellow flower called the butterbell. That's not far from you.

Tim / GM:

You know that butterbells cure a wide variety of anaphylactic reactions. This is knowledge you didn't have a second ago. What do you do?

Thomas / Guy:

Am I near the flower?

Tim / GM:

Oh, yeah. You're pretty much in the bush.

Thomas / Guy:

I will grab the flower Mhmm. And I'll come out of the bush. Mhmm. Hey, that's my lunch.

Speaker 6:

She looks up and says, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Tim / GM:

And she, like, tries to pick him up and, like, move with him.

Thomas / Guy:

No. No. But more importantly, I can help him.

Tim / GM:

She's kind of, like, shaking her head and trying to get away. She's like, please, please leave us.

Thomas / Guy:

No. This flower has medicinal uses. It's going to help him. I can save him. I don't care about the lunch.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, I care a little bit, but

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think she's

Thomas / Guy:

It's a good lunch.

Tim / GM:

She she's uneasy and maybe distrusting or a little guilty feeling, but she backs off enough for you to kinda get in there.

Thomas / Guy:

Okay. I do the flower thing.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You administer them. And and this is the part that gets interesting. Every You don't know what to do in the next second, but it's fed to you as if somebody's dictating how this would all work. You you sort of mill these in your own hand to create a little bit of this powdery dye, that you actually just rub into the guy's gums.

Tim / GM:

But the reaction stops immediately and his life is saved.

Thomas / Guy:

Well, I can't believe I mean, of course, that works. He's gonna be okay, ma'am.

Tim / GM:

She, picks up a piece of an onion or, like, half eaten sandwich and, like, offers it up to you.

Thomas / Guy:

Thank you.

Tim / GM:

Are you eager to get away from them? Or do you spend time getting to know them?

Thomas / Guy:

If if if they let me, I wanna spend time with them, actually.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. The 3 of you, I think, share that picnic basket then. And, they tell you a little bit about the stone and

Thomas / Guy:

I talked I tell them a lot about the stone.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think that's fair to say. Finally, here we have Tibeo.

Speaker 7:

Oui.

Tim / GM:

This was one of the first things you saw on your journey out of the Fernglide. Mhmm. Beginning your adventure after just leaving that trading post, you got yourself a fancy walking stick. Not your quarter staff that you got later that you realized was a little more for self defense, but your walking stick is this gnarled, like leather bound, like cool looking stick that fits well with your skeleton. You're striding out of the woods, with this kind of, short, like decorative, like, scarf almost.

Tim / GM:

A cloak that's wrapped among your skeleton. You don't yet have the Trent's cloak.

Thomas / Guy:

Mhmm.

Tim / GM:

But you encounter your first hardship. It is a shallow stream. What do you do?

Speaker 7:

I I mean, the hardship is that I'm very distracted by the stream because it looks like fun. So I I start kicking around in it, and I'm splashing around in it. And I'm, like, blocking the stream in different ways to make the water go different directions. And I'm using my really nifty walking stick to, like, push stuff around in the bottom. And I'm grabbing leaves and, like, throwing them into the stream and seeing how they spin and stuff like that.

Speaker 7:

Mhmm. And I'm not realizing how much time is passing.

Tim / GM:

So yeah. I think it's like afternoon's, like, getting on, and you haven't gone far from the woods at all yet. And you realize it's about time that you really began the journey here before the Sun sets on your first day, but when you turn to leave, you're actually in the process of trying to dry out your bones a little bit, and you drop your knapsack into the river, and all of your food becomes inedible.

Speaker 4:

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Speaker 7:

And I, like, try to, like, gather it up, and it's just, like, gross and, like, disintegrating in my hand.

Tim / GM:

It's like soggy red going through your fingers.

Speaker 7:

It's icky. It's super icky. And I just, like, I sit a little bit, and I,

Thomas / Guy:

like no.

Speaker 4:

No. I'm okay. I'm I'm on an adventure and I'm okay.

Speaker 7:

And I start looking around to, like, try and find some food.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You see a couple of, like things that you'd find around home anyway. A few, mushrooms and berries and things that you know are fine to eat out in the wild. So you know you're gonna be okay wherever you end up. A few minutes after that little debacle, you're on a walking path and you're about to cross paths with this young couple that you heard giggling with each other a while away.

Tim / GM:

As they turn the corner and see you, one of the couple says,

Thomas / Guy:

what is that?

Speaker 4:

Hello. It is nice to meet you. My name is Divya Venue, and I am from here, but I am leaving here.

Speaker 6:

Oh my god. Charlotte, run.

Tim / GM:

Just run.

Speaker 4:

Wait. Are you okay?

Tim / GM:

You see this guy, like like, kinda go broad chested and put his arms out either side, and he

Speaker 6:

says, just run. Don't look back.

Speaker 7:

I look behind me to see what they're running from.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. This woman goes sprinting away and kind of like stops after a few feet and calls back and she just goes, Jonathan, you have to come. Come on. And then, they're sort of caught and and he immediately like spins on his heels and tries to run with her and he falls in the dirt and is scrambling to get up, just trying to get away from you as fast as he can.

Speaker 7:

I still don't realize that they're running for me, so I go up to help him. I'm like,

Speaker 4:

it's okay. It's okay. What do you see? There's nothing behind me.

Speaker 6:

He's got me. Just run.

Speaker 4:

Oh, what is it?

Speaker 7:

What is it? Can I help? And I'm, like, touching, like, his arms, like, trying to see if there's something on him, and I'm making it worse.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think he, like, takes the hilt of a short sword and just, like, slams your bones, like, right in the sternum and kind of, like, knocks you on your butt.

Speaker 7:

I stay there in shock.

Tim / GM:

And he he gets up and scrambles, and he just goes run run run run run, and he runs off with his partner.

Speaker 7:

I sit for a minute and then I kinda, like, crawl to the edge of the road. And I let my bones fall off of me, and I gather them up and sit next to them. And I, cry to myself as I, like, inspect them to see if any of them are broken. I, like, brush off any, like, little patches of dirt and stuff like that.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You're lucky that nothing there had been broken or really scuffed or anything. But, somehow in the debacle, your walking stick got snapped.

Speaker 7:

I, I take the pieces, and I get a little I get a little mad. And I throw one of the pieces into the woods, and I sit down again, and I'm pouting. And then I get up and I go get the piece, and I come back and sit down again. And I, like, try to put it together. And and then I kinda stand up, put my skeleton back on, and I try to, like, cover myself better.

Speaker 7:

Yeah. Like, with what clothing I have available, I try to, like, fit it to what the people kinda looked like.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You, dress up a little better, a little more what people are used to seeing. And you continue that night as long as you feel like you can. It's really late by the time you reach the bismite stone, and it's, it looks really pretty from a distance and you were kind of determined to get to this thing just to prove it to yourself that you could make it to whatever you wanted to. But you find yourself alone there.

Tim / GM:

Again, just sort of kneeling under this large stone on this giant empty plain with no cover, really. You you've never felt really more alone or isolated out here. After a while of standing there, this very strange creature approaches you. You've heard descriptions of tieflings before. This might be one of them.

Tim / GM:

You think you see some kind of semblance of horns, but its face is also impossibly gaunt and its color doesn't look quite right even for a tiefling. There's something else about this creature. You see, it's got sort of wicked, almost cat like eyes, and it has very sharp teeth. 2 very sharp teeth, in fact, that point a little longer than his others. He wordlessly approaches you and, takes out from under this great cloak he's wearing, a clay bowl, that has got some warm, nice smelling soup in it.

Tim / GM:

And he noiselessly just offers it up to you.

Speaker 7:

I am surprised to see this creature. Not afraid, but curious. I've seen, like, a lot of weird things in my life in the fern glade, but I am concerned that he might be afraid of me because of the reaction that I just got. So I say,

Speaker 4:

hello. I am to be off a mirror, I I want to warn you. Do not be afraid.

Speaker 7:

I am a gnome in here. And then I kind of, like, uncover parts of the skeleton and say,

Speaker 4:

it is just it is a skeleton, but did you do not need to be afraid. It is not me. I am me.

Tim / GM:

The creature looks back at you. Again, wordlessly, it barely pays attention to the bones when you try to show him or warn him rather. It instead gives you, a kind of a dull smile. You see it bear all of its teeth and sure enough, it's got these long vampire fangs and, almost an eerie wicked grin. And he begins to disrobe a little as well.

Tim / GM:

It takes off this giant trench cloak that it's wearing, and it puts it around your shoulders without saying anything. And then it looks the same way that you're looking and just stands next to you for a little while. Oh.

Speaker 4:

It for me? May I have it?

Tim / GM:

It solemnly nods very slowly.

Speaker 7:

I give him my scarf.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I I think it takes the scarf and then it speaks without looking right at you and says,

Speaker 6:

it's going to be very difficult sometimes.

Speaker 4:

Just in general?

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. It

Tim / GM:

just kind of gives you like a cocks nod.

Speaker 6:

But you must go about your life. No matter what you look like or how some may see you, you know who you are, and you will show them. Go with love, my friend.

Speaker 7:

Yes. Marcy, thank you. Thank you so much. And I take the bowl of soup too and I start eating the soup.

Tim / GM:

Okay. It kinda backs away a few steps from you and it throws the scarf over its shoulder dramatically. And then, you see it turn into a bat and then just kinda fly away.

Speaker 7:

I slowly set the bowl down and sit down and just kind of pull my trench cloak around me, like,

Hannah / Eryn:

what the hell?

Tim / GM:

We're back in the real world. Leaving Hog Wild, you are moving through a low canyon with high stony walls on either side, and it's high noon. It is very much the hog wild atmosphere here still. There's some gusts of wind blowing through the canyon that is kicking up some dirt, and you all hear this cacophonous squealing and vibrating ground coming from directly behind you. Holly and Uli are at the front of the wagon.

Tim / GM:

Where's everybody else?

Thomas / Guy:

I'm in the wagon.

Tim / GM:

In the wagon, Tib?

Speaker 7:

I'm hanging off the side of the wagon waving goodbye.

Tim / GM:

I think we're farther than that.

Speaker 7:

I was hanging off the wagon waving goodbye, and now I'm just hanging off the wagon feeling the breeze.

Thomas / Guy:

Okay. Snack?

Tim / GM:

No bidet this time. Where are you?

Speaker 9:

Snack was, scoping out the area.

Tim / GM:

Ahead of the wagon, you think?

Speaker 9:

Yes. Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

Carl, what is what is this place?

Tim / GM:

He turns around and he says, it's like, pig crossing. You know, they just kind of run through here every now and oh, shit. And, you look back to see a stampede of wild boar coming through this narrow canyon.

Speaker 5:

A handpede? Oh, gosh.

Tim / GM:

You see a Hampede Oh, fuck. Barreling towards your caravan. What do you all do?

Thomas / Guy:

Sorry. Oh, JPO, you know how to take care of these guys. Right?

Hannah / Eryn:

Everyone hold on. Yeah. And, Holly, kicks up the reins with Carl.

Tim / GM:

Everybody roll initiative.

Speaker 7:

Aw, fuck.

Tim / GM:

Hannah, what'd you get for your initiative?

Hannah / Eryn:

2 +1 is 3.

Tim / GM:

Alright.

Thomas / Guy:

10. Tip.

Speaker 7:

Good young 9.

Tim / GM:

Young 9. And snack? 6.

Hannah / Eryn:

Nice. Wow. We've rolled back. Wow. We suck.

Speaker 5:

Uli? 19. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Uli. So you you look through the the back window of the wagon, you can see this dust being kicked up by this approaching swarm of swine. You are, standing, like, with your knees hinged, and you're just sort of, like, riding the bumps of the wagon, like, very skillfully. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

You're in control here. What do you do?

Speaker 5:

Getting real sick of fighting pigs here.

Tim / GM:

Mhmm.

Speaker 5:

Everyone hang on, and I'm gonna I'm gonna enlarge the cart

Speaker 10:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

To try and, like, get up above the pigs. Okay.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

So they can just, like, run under.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess there's no role for that, really. You're pretty used to the enlarge spell by now.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. So the wagon just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And, Holly, you can see from your position sort of, driving the wagon more or less. The wagon wheels are so close to the sides of the canyon walls, now that you occasionally clip them and you feel the whole wagon sort of like shutter, as it's moving down. But you see what Uli is going for.

Tim / GM:

You see some of these pigs begin to run underneath the wagon and sort of run alongside you. Next up is Bert.

Hannah / Eryn:

Does Carl stay small or does he grow with the weigh in?

Tim / GM:

I think Carl stays small and the wagon is sort of, like, rolling over him now, and it's, like, encompassing him. Yeah.

Thomas / Guy:

Don't really have a lot of anti pig spells.

Hannah / Eryn:

How wide is the valley?

Tim / GM:

At times, it's like 20 feet wide. At times, it's just barely over

Speaker 4:

10. 20 feet, you say?

Speaker 5:

Perfect. She's gonna cave this whole thing in.

Hannah / Eryn:

Oh, my god.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. There's a reupting knife. I'm sure.

Speaker 7:

That's okay. I go first.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna cast confusion on the pigs. Oh, on dice.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 7:

They're already confused.

Thomas / Guy:

They must make a wisdom saving throw. Okay.

Speaker 4:

Why is over these

Tim / GM:

An 8. Nope. For these pigs.

Hannah / Eryn:

It's pretty good for a pig.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. And I think they got a minus to wisdom for sure.

Thomas / Guy:

This could literally make things worse for us. I

Tim / GM:

Yeah. So I think what ends up happening with this confusion is you you see it go off in this, you see a little, disturbance in the air, a sort of, swirling, almost like a spiral that plays off over these pigs. You see the front half of this mass immediately turn 180 and just start running into the stampede the other way.

Speaker 10:

Okay.

Tim / GM:

And you can literally see pigs just popping out of this thing as they're, like, trampling each other. And, like, you're seeing pigs fly before your eyes. Did that help? Tib is next.

Speaker 7:

I cast web

Tim / GM:

Nice.

Speaker 7:

Right behind us

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 7:

In the hopes that it'll reduce the amount of pigs that are able to follow us.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Okay. The web takes up, it stretches from canyon wall to canyon wall, and you see the first 10 pigs, like, slam into it, and you can just see their faces kind of push through the web.

Speaker 8:

Some Some

Tim / GM:

of them get their necks through and are just kind of like half piggy stuck through these things, and are just kind of like flailing trying to get ground, and that holds for a while until the dam just builds up too much, and then they find a way through. And there's a tunnel of pigs that are still following through.

Speaker 4:

Sticky pigs.

Tim / GM:

Snack, you're next.

Speaker 10:

I'm going to, hop out of the behind a rock k. And run to the back of the wagon. Mhmm.

Speaker 9:

I am here when you need me, friends.

Speaker 10:

And I, cast silent image.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 10:

I make an image of a 8 foot wide by, like, 20 foot tall dragon.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 10:

And then I stand behind it and I breathe fire out of it.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. You, you billow flames, out of your mouth. You see some of them catch the webs and burn those down a little bit. The fire you you see all of these pigs, like, kind of dig their heels into the ground, and dust is kicking up, but the pigs seem terrified of this thing.

Tim / GM:

They they stop and pile up, and there's just this large mass of pigs developing, and you can see behind them more are still coming.

Speaker 10:

Okay. Can I do one slight thing? I make the dragon lift its claw up and point to the left, and it keeps pointing to the left periodically.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You see some a good half of the pig start

Thomas / Guy:

to take a detour off in another

Tim / GM:

canyon, going where the dragon had indicated. Holly, had the worst luck here starting up. Kind of right when this debacle happened. You guys ran over a huge rock, and it caused you to, like, almost bounce out of your seat and lay flat in the wagon, but you finally have been able to stand up and see what's going on here.

Hannah / Eryn:

I think Holly's just concerned. She feels like her companions have sorta got this. There's not too many pig pigs left, so she's just concerned about trying to steer

Speaker 8:

Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

On the wagon with what she can.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

Carl, I'm guessing, kinda zapped out of existence for a minute because he was was so small.

Tim / GM:

Or was he He, he was kind of, almost in risk of being, like, smooshed by the wagon Mhmm. If he rolled wrong. So he did actually disappear Okay. In the middle of

Hannah / Eryn:

this. Holly is going to summon Carl back. And then as soon as he summons, she's gonna enlarge Carl to be as big as the wagon.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. You see Carl kinda, like, look back at you and he's like, what are you doing?

Hannah / Eryn:

Hold on. And Nahali points a crystal at Carl.

Tim / GM:

He, like, looks down at the ground. He says, I'm floating away. Oh, nope. I'm just huge. And, you can feel him like, list forward and the entire wagon, kind of like, groans and starts rolling again forward.

Tim / GM:

It seems most of the pigs are being stopped by that dragon. There are very few that dare to pass it.

Hannah / Eryn:

And then Holly yells, heya. And clicks the reins that are much too big for her to hold now. What is the the

Speaker 5:

the gym CrossFit

Hannah / Eryn:

thing. Yeah. CrossFit. Yeah. With the giant rope.

Tim / GM:

That is exactly what this is. Holly is doing the the ropes exercise. Yeah. The wagon enlarged wears off before the Carl enlarged does. And for a little while, giant Carl is pulling this tiny wagon.

Speaker 8:

And that is almost as dangerous as what was going

Tim / GM:

on before. A little later on in the day, when you get out of this canyon area, you're in this, kind of high stony plateau and, there's a sudden dust storm. Everything starts to pick up. You can barely hear each other. You can barely see it really, as there's sand and grass and dirt and dust in the wind, and you see this spiraling whirlwind, coming right towards your wagon.

Tim / GM:

Bert, you're up first. Sorry.

Hannah / Eryn:

No problem. So what's happening? Sorry.

Tim / GM:

So there's

Thomas / Guy:

a big dust tornado coming?

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You're on a big, like, stony open plain, and there's a whirlwind coming towards you during the middle of a dust storm.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, this is just a whirlwind of a of a travel day, I'll say.

Tim / GM:

That's your turn.

Speaker 7:

As Holly looks at the whirlwind That's criminal.

Thomas / Guy:

In the distance. That's a whirlwind.

Hannah / Eryn:

Life's a tornado sometimes.

Speaker 5:

I love

Tim / GM:

that song.

Speaker 5:

To be fair, Holly Live

Thomas / Guy:

a tornado.

Speaker 7:

Oh. Did we did we stall enough for you?

Thomas / Guy:

I cast confusion on the tornado.

Speaker 5:

You cast what?

Thomas / Guy:

Confusion on the tornado. I don't do that. Do we have a do we have a tent in our wagon?

Tim / GM:

Yes.

Thomas / Guy:

I'm gonna get some rope and stakes meant for the tent and tie the wagon down.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 7:

God. That's useful.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Bert takes an uncharacteristically physical approach to this and, begins to stake the wagon down before it approaches. Uli, you're up next. And then Holly's neck tip.

Speaker 5:

So I'm curious if this is it like a dust whirlwind?

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

Okay. Would you consider it like an object? Depends. I have telekinesis, and I'm wondering if I can try and, like, sort of push it away or, like, around

Tim / GM:

us. I I think a sustained, like, kinesis effect might might convince it in a direction, maybe. There's a lot of debris caught in it. It was

Speaker 5:

just like okay.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think I'll make you roll for how long you can, I'd I'd say telekinesis tops out around, like, 3 or £500, I think.

Speaker 5:

For object, you can try to move an object that weighs up to a £1,000. Okay.

Tim / GM:

So, yeah, you've got a good amount of, sway there. I think this this whirlwind is putting out, you know, a good amount of force. So you're kind of fighting it back and forth while Bert tries to get the tent staked.

Speaker 5:

It also says if it's not being worn or carried, I can automatically move it up to 30 feet in any direction. Yeah. But it's a whirlwind.

Tim / GM:

It's got a force of its own. Yeah. So just give me, I think an arcana check, to fight against this thing with your magic.

Thomas / Guy:

Okay.

Tim / GM:

Or you can make a spell attack, whichever feels better to you. Arcana might be more knowledge based.

Speaker 5:

Spell attack would be better for me.

Tim / GM:

Do that.

Speaker 5:

I have warcasters that gives me advantage of magic concentration. If that Yeah.

Tim / GM:

That applies.

Speaker 4:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

How?

Speaker 7:

Forecasters. Finally,

Speaker 5:

I get to do something with it. Yeah.

Tim / GM:

I'd say it gives you advantage here.

Speaker 5:

Okay. 23.

Tim / GM:

Wow. Okay. You you feel like for a second, you might actually be able to just crush this entire tornado and just kind of squeeze it out of existence or at least fight against it so hard that it ruins its own momentum. But you know for sure that you can hold it off long enough for Bert to get done what he needs to. Holly, you're up next.

Hannah / Eryn:

Having lived in the city all her life, Holly is absolutely terrified of tornadoes. Yeah. Because it seems it's like something she's always heard about but never actually seen.

Tim / GM:

Mhmm.

Hannah / Eryn:

I think Holly is hiding under a rug in the wagon and, like, crying because she's so scared. And she's like, I can't I don't know what to do. And she, like, is just, like, so scared right now. Like, she doesn't have, like and none of her magic will help her because it's not like, you can't she's not strong enough to fight the elements yet. And she's also just, like it's one of her biggest life fears is tornadoes.

Tim / GM:

So she's I think you've been instructed your whole life to, like, get inside and get as low as you can.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yep. Like, get in the bathtub or something like so she is, exceptionally afraid of thunderstorms and tornadoes.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 10:

Is that

Tim / GM:

it for you then, Holly?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. She's just gonna be too scared to do anything. Okay.

Tim / GM:

Snack, do you got anything for this?

Speaker 9:

Yes. I go up to the tornado thing.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You see, Lee is standing outside of the wagon, like, holding up her arms and just, like, like, holding this thing in place.

Speaker 9:

I breathe out fire at it and try to put it out.

Tim / GM:

Oh, no.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Good.

Tim / GM:

No rules. The tornado starts on fire. Oh my fuck. Yeah. You you you all watch Snack's dragon breath just feed into this thing like a bellows, and you can just see the entire thing ignite.

Tim / GM:

Uli, you like wince as this thing takes on a whole new level of power.

Thomas / Guy:

What the fuck?

Tim / GM:

And Snack, you stop breathing, but the tornado with all the burnable debris that it's picked up, does not subside.

Speaker 9:

It is consuming itself fully. Do not worry.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. I don't I don't believe you.

Tim / GM:

Tibio.

Speaker 7:

Are there any big debris pieces in the tornado? I'm I'm wondering if there's anything, like, if it hit us or if it was passing us, if there's any, like, large enough harmful. Mhmm. Tibeo goes up to, like, the edge of the wagon. He's a little nervous too because he's never seen something quite like this.

Speaker 7:

He's used to living in trees. He, like, peeks out from behind the wagon a little bit, and he sees Uli and Snack kind of, quote unquote managing it. Mhmm. Isn't sure if they're doing what they're doing on purpose or not.

Thomas / Guy:

Mhmm.

Speaker 7:

But he sees some, like, big floaty chunks in it. And, he takes aim, and he goes, not today. And he magic missiles at, 3 of them.

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

It's just gonna, like, whip around, and then whatever is in there is gonna go flying out at me. I just know it.

Speaker 7:

13.

Tim / GM:

Alright. Yeah. It's actually a pretty formidable strike there. So maybe by pure luck or not, Tivio, as you destroy some of the debris that's in here that had sort of caught fire, the little particles of it, kind of burn out and burn up, as they're engulfed by the flames here. And the fire in this thing actually sort of starts to die down the closer it gets to your wagon.

Tim / GM:

And, Uly, good thing because you're about out of energy here. The last few large bits are obliterated by your magic missile and you feel, you know, some like, maybe hailstones, hit the wagon, but little worse than that. Bert, you had just finished, nailing down the last stake that would keep this wagon in place, and you see it as the whirlwind rips through this place. A couple of splinters are torn off of your wagon and you see all 4 wheels leave the ground. As this thing is being like pulled up towards the sky and, just kind of like pulls all these ropes taught and then slams back down to the ground after a little while.

Tim / GM:

And Holly, the storm seems to be over.

Speaker 4:

Is it safe to come out? Yes. Holly is okay.

Speaker 5:

Are you sure?

Speaker 4:

Yes. It is best. You are fine. You did very good. You are fine.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly's face is strewn with tears.

Speaker 5:

And she's like, I thought we were gonna die.

Hannah / Eryn:

I thought that was it.

Speaker 4:

No. Bert saved us all by tying down the wagon.

Speaker 5:

And I I held it off.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. You see Uli outside in a she's got, like, a sheen of sweat on her, from facing down the fire tornado.

Thomas / Guy:

And, Snack, what was your role in this?

Speaker 9:

I have to burn up all the pieces. Mhmm.

Tim / GM:

You see Bert outside with his shirt off, like, tied around his waist, and he's got, like, a hammer with the stakes.

Thomas / Guy:

I'm very tired.

Speaker 7:

Action, Bert.

Speaker 5:

Guys, did you know I could, like, control a tornado?

Speaker 4:

Is that what you did?

Speaker 5:

What? I think so.

Speaker 9:

Well, we kind of both did really cool things. Yeah. Yes. It was very neat, Oli.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Oh, if if we ever encounter one of those again, maybe you light it on fire and we, like, send it at the enemy.

Speaker 9:

Not even that. How about even if it's fighting an enemy, you hold them in the air, suspend it, and I burn them?

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 9:

What a cool plan.

Thomas / Guy:

I did some physical labor too.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yay. You guys are the best. Thanks for helping.

Speaker 4:

Yes. Of course, Ali. Bert, you should sit down.

Thomas / Guy:

I think I will. Or he just passes out.

Tim / GM:

Later that day, you, take a rest by some ancient looking ruins. There's a small stone platform of cracked tile and a few archways that still stand in this area. It's hard to tell what this might have been for at some point. There is also a series of extremely large bones. They look like a rib cage to something.

Tim / GM:

Maybe a dragon, maybe something else. Your your knowledge of creatures doesn't isn't comprehensive.

Thomas / Guy:

May I do a history check-in this area? Sure. 15.

Tim / GM:

Okay. I'm gonna say, maybe the party's speculating as to what these are and people start mentioning maybe dragon bones, maybe this or that, and and Bert, you are pretty darn sure that these are actually bones of a sky whale.

Thomas / Guy:

Dragon bones? No. No. No. I believe these are from a sky whale.

Hannah / Eryn:

That's made up. Holly is just like, that's from kids' stories, Bert. Sky sky whales aren't real.

Thomas / Guy:

They're from kids' stories, but they're real.

Hannah / Eryn:

No. No. No.

Speaker 5:

Never seen a sky whale.

Speaker 4:

But tell me about the sky whales. What are they?

Thomas / Guy:

They're big whales that fly, and you don't see them very often.

Speaker 4:

How do they fly? Do they have wings?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah. Tell us how they fly, Bert.

Thomas / Guy:

They do not have wings. Mhmm. It's magic.

Hannah / Eryn:

You can't just say it's magic and expect us to believe that giant sky whales that nobody ever sees are real, And Holly's using air quotes as she says that.

Speaker 7:

Liberal air quotes from Holly.

Speaker 9:

What is with all this skepticism? We started our journey together with flying fish. What is so strange about flying whales?

Speaker 5:

The flying fish were an illusion. But that's a really good point.

Thomas / Guy:

It is not far off, Nick. Good job. Thank you.

Hannah / Eryn:

You guys, that path of logic made no sense. Oh, no.

Speaker 5:

Holly, he's learning about the surface world.

Speaker 9:

All the different flying

Speaker 7:

fish and stuff. Know anything about these bones?

Tim / GM:

I mean, you can reach out to them all the same as any bones. Bone check. Yeah.

Speaker 7:

Yeah. I would like to, as we're talking and I get excited about the sky whale, I start wandering over to the bones and I, like, reach out to them and, like, touch one of the ribs.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. I think touching this gives you, kind of a a new sense that's not exactly like you had felt in the past. Because the question about this thing is what it used to be, instead of getting control over it or making contact with it, you see what it used to be as you're guessing at it. And you can see this sort of, ghostly outline, almost as if it's made of, passing smoke that chose to gather in some places. Mhmm.

Tim / GM:

But you see the skin of this sky whale. And sure enough, it looks exactly as Bert described. It's got this big, huge, sort of humble looking face with these small black eyes, and a huge white mouth with no sharp teeth whatsoever. And it's got these sort of, spiral markings on its underbelly. And it maybe it's grinning at you or maybe that's just what it looks like.

Tim / GM:

But, yeah. It's it's a sky whale.

Speaker 7:

Tibeo gets really excited and he goes,

Speaker 4:

it was beautiful. It was beautiful, Bert. You were right. It it flew in the sky and and it had swirls all across its belly. And and it did not need wings.

Speaker 4:

It just flew. It was magic.

Thomas / Guy:

You saw it, Tibia. I'm so jealous.

Speaker 4:

I just I could see

Speaker 5:

it. I'm jealous. That sounds pretty cool.

Tim / GM:

I think we we pause there for a little bit as you all take a quick breather and, just kind of watch the sky as if you're all expecting to suddenly see a sky whale for the first time. Mhmm. And so we just see the 5 of you kind of cloud gazing for a little while, and we see, this water running off of this destroyed aqueduct and kind of, you know, the water is just, like spraying out into the air as it's sort of windy in this area. And that's how you guys pass a few restful, moments in the afternoon. Later that evening, it's just about sundown.

Tim / GM:

The the last light of day is is visible on the horizon, and you see the Bismite stone far in the distance. You still have a long descent to make, into this lower valley where the the stone resides. But you think you can make it there by by the time you have to go to sleep tonight. So that's what you try for. You're all heading down this long kind of steep slope with with Carl being very cautious about the way that the wagon descends here.

Tim / GM:

You're also noticing a lot of these bismite crystals, pretty small, most of them. Some are a little larger though. You'd say, maybe the size of a melon. And those keep catching Carl's attention. Every time he looks down at them, he looks back at you, Holly.

Tim / GM:

And one time, when he looks back at you, you see his face sort of distort into this square broken mirror effect. And he says, Holly.

Hannah / Eryn:

Carl?

Tim / GM:

Something is weird weird.

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah.

Tim / GM:

I don't feel real real right.

Hannah / Eryn:

You don't look so good. Guys, something's happening to Carl. I wonder if it's the stones. You guys

Tim / GM:

Am I am I okay?

Speaker 5:

You're kind of

Hannah / Eryn:

He's glitching out.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. Little

Thomas / Guy:

You know, I've heard this can happen to magical creatures around these stones.

Tim / GM:

He kind of like bounces in place and then he starts to run a little faster and he says, what is this? What is this?

Speaker 5:

Hey. Hey, Carl?

Tim / GM:

The the wagon's going a little faster than is comfortable going downhill.

Thomas / Guy:

If only we had a donkey.

Speaker 5:

Maybe you should let go for a while.

Tim / GM:

Says I can't I don't know what's and then he disappears. And the wagon is picking up speed going down a steep hill.

Speaker 8:

Oh my god.

Hannah / Eryn:

Uh-oh. Cool.

Speaker 7:

I cast web. Okay.

Hannah / Eryn:

This gets sticky.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Tibia, I think your your webs are not enough. You cast them in a perfect place, from one canyon wall to a bonsai tree that's coming out the side of the cliff here, and it makes a perfect little volleyball net. But the wagon just bursts right through it as if it wasn't there at

Speaker 7:

all. Damn.

Speaker 9:

This is fun, boy.

Tim / GM:

I need everybody to make a strength save.

Hannah / Eryn:

I'm great, strong. Fan.

Thomas / Guy:

Good group

Speaker 8:

for that.

Tim / GM:

What kind of Yeah. I found your one weakness, physical combat.

Hannah / Eryn:

I'm gonna use a luck point.

Tim / GM:

Okay.

Speaker 7:

Yes. That worked.

Tim / GM:

A snack?

Speaker 10:

A weapon.

Hannah / Eryn:

21. 18. I did it.

Tim / GM:

A 3. Nice. Thank you, Lollipop Owl.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly. 30 20.

Tim / GM:

Nice. Alright. That means Snack and Bert with the lowest rolls. You 2 are hanging out towards the back of the wagon and you rolled over a bismite stone and the entire wagon bucks hard enough to throw both of you off. You hit the dirt with a a loud thud and, get a mouthful of sand as the wagon continues to roll on without you.

Tim / GM:

The, yeah, the wagon is going at like a breakneck pace. Those of you that are on the wagon, what do you wanna do? Is there anything you can think of?

Hannah / Eryn:

Yeah.

Tim / GM:

Time is of the essence.

Speaker 7:

I cast shield on my side.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah. That's a good reaction. Holly?

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly is going to I think she's gonna try to use a new spell she learned

Tim / GM:

k.

Hannah / Eryn:

Called Blink. Okay. And she is going to try to vanish from this plane of existence to protect herself to go to the ethereal plane.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 8:

So I

Hannah / Eryn:

have to roll an 11 or higher to blink.

Speaker 7:

Okay. 16.

Tim / GM:

Alright. Yeah. Those of you in the wagon, see Holly, quickly mumble a spell with, like, this very clear pronunciation. You can tell she hasn't used this one very often. And when she finishes it, she disappears.

Tim / GM:

Holly, when you voip out of there, you actually appear on Carl, in the ethereal plane. As you sit down Oh. As he's continuing to run. What the fuck? And he's he looks up at you, and you can hear this kind of dreamy, echoey voice say, Holly.

Hannah / Eryn:

Carl?

Tim / GM:

How are you here?

Hannah / Eryn:

I learned a new spell to blink myself here.

Tim / GM:

You can every now and then, you can see this vague outline of the wagon. He says, I'm trying to keep up in case I come back, but I'm not in control of this right now. I'm sorry.

Hannah / Eryn:

Well, that's okay. At least you and I are safe for the moment, but, hopefully, our friends can figure out something to protect themselves.

Tim / GM:

You see his face get real serious and he kinda bears down and tries to pick up speed to get ahead of the wagon again, but this thing is really cruising now.

Hannah / Eryn:

Just try to stay with it, as long as we can.

Tim / GM:

Back in the wagon. Uli, you got anything?

Speaker 5:

Is there anything in front of us?

Tim / GM:

I mean, you've got a clear path, maybe a tree or 2, but it's like it's a steep downhill race here.

Speaker 5:

I'm just wondering if I can cast Thunder Wave in front of us to like

Tim / GM:

maybe. You'd have to get out of the cart yourself to do it though, because Thunder Wave is an AOE on you or an area from you.

Speaker 7:

So I did I did shield, and then I just braced myself and tried to hold stuff down.

Tim / GM:

Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 7:

I'm trying to stay with the wagon. I I don't have any hopes that anyone else will.

Speaker 5:

You're in the wagon?

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

Can I grab Tibio and then cast dimension door down away from the cart, but, like, in the direction we're heading?

Tim / GM:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

Okay.

Speaker 8:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

Do you, you wanna get out of here?

Speaker 7:

I'm, like, holding down different pieces of, like, stuff in the wagon. I'm like,

Speaker 5:

I don't know. I thought I would just go ahead a while, and then we could think about how to stop it.

Speaker 7:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. I'll I'll grab Tibio and, like, stuff that might be valuable from the cart. Yeah. Anything I can carry.

Tim / GM:

You just panic and grab a candelabra and Okay. Yeah. You are 500 feet away, which is, I mean, maybe a few seconds before impact still. So this thing is this thing is cruising. So that is time

Speaker 5:

to think.

Thomas / Guy:

Yeah. Snick Snick. We gotta catch up. We gotta help.

Speaker 9:

I have okay. Okay. I guess. I get up.

Tim / GM:

You see, like, I mean, the the wagon is already like a dot in the distance.

Speaker 9:

This was so cool. I love this type of travel. Birds, I don't know what to do. I'll try to do something.

Speaker 10:

And I take out the, gavel, and I slam it on the ground to try to launch myself.

Tim / GM:

Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Snack, you are rocketed.

Tim / GM:

I'm gonna say, 1 d 6 times 10 feet into the air. Alright. 2 times what? 10. So 20 feet.

Tim / GM:

Okay. 20 foot bounce. Yeah. Alright. I mean, it's also downhill.

Tim / GM:

So, like, this 20 foot bounce becomes like a 45 foot drop on the way down.

Speaker 10:

Okay. Okay. Am I within 30 feet of the wagon?

Tim / GM:

No. Not by a long shot. Oh, shit. Sorry. No.

Tim / GM:

It's more like more like 300 feet away at this point.

Speaker 10:

I'll fly towards it. I'll try to catch

Speaker 8:

up.

Thomas / Guy:

Bert's Bert's gonna cast shillelagh on his book Mhmm. To imbue it with power. Okay. Get a running start, and then use the book as a sled to

Tim / GM:

go down the hill. My gosh. Okay. Yeah. You, you passed by Snack on the way down.

Tim / GM:

Do you try to take him with you?

Thomas / Guy:

No. He looks like he's got it under control. Okay. Yeah. See you at the bottom, mister Snack.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Snake, you're just standing there and see him, like, whoosh by. You didn't know books could be so fun. I guess, you know. Uli and Tibio at the bottom of the hill, what do you got?

Speaker 5:

Tibio, what if I waited until it was close enough and made it small, and then you caught it in your webs again?

Speaker 7:

Okay. Let's try it.

Speaker 5:

Unless you have a better idea.

Speaker 7:

I have no ideas.

Tim / GM:

Holly, I need you to make another blink check.

Hannah / Eryn:

Actually, I'm supposed to come back at the end or my next turn.

Tim / GM:

Oh, just automatically? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Hannah / Eryn:

Holly, she actually has to return to a spot within 10 feet of where she blinked out of.

Speaker 6:

Oh.

Hannah / Eryn:

And so I'm, like, midway down the hill just, like, back on the ground. I fall a little because I was up in the wagon. Sure. So I fall and hit the ground, and I'm sitting on my butt on the hill. I probably start to roll down the hill a little bit.

Tim / GM:

Yeah. Yeah. You, like, roll a little bit and then, yeah, just go face first in the dirt. And then a few seconds later, Bert just comes like screaming by on this giant boat. The wagon is fast approaching and Bert is not too far behind that.

Tim / GM:

You see Holly, midway down the hill, But, Tibio and Uli, it's time to act. That, that wagon is about to impact.

Speaker 7:

What's the terrain?

Tim / GM:

Again, you've got one side is like a high, like, rocky cliff with a little bit of overgrowth. And then the other side is like a not a drop, but a much steeper, like, 80 degree hill.

Speaker 7:

Okay. I wanna cast Webb across the ground, like, to try and catch it, like, in a, like, a runway slowdown.

Tim / GM:

Oh, okay. Like a sticky tarmac or something. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 7:

Or, like, tire stabbers.

Speaker 5:

Yeah. I'm gonna go off to the side of wherever like, I don't wanna be in its direct path. But as soon as it's in 30 feet, I'm just gonna

Speaker 8:

Yeah.

Speaker 5:

Reduce it.

Speaker 8:

Okay.

Speaker 5:

Just the cart.

Tim / GM:

You're able to, reduce the wagon, almost to, like, comical proportions. Now it looks like like a play set for a child, where it's not exactly like a toy car. It's, you know, just kind of a miniature version. The wheels indeed get caught up in the webs, and now with its reduced size and weight, you can see them get gummed up and it gets into the axles and everything and this thing just kind of, it comes to a halt much quicker than you thought actually

Speaker 8:

And you hear a bunch of the stuff inside just, like, shift forward.

Speaker 7:

Mhmm. Clang, silverware

Speaker 8:

Yeah.

Speaker 7:

Just like rattling around.

Tim / GM:

A single spoon just comes flying out of the front and lands in the dirt.

Speaker 5:

Why? Why does this always keep happening?

Hannah / Eryn:

Good job, you guys. Holly yells down the hill.

Speaker 5:

Quick web work.

Speaker 4:

That was very good teamwork. I'm Yeah. How are we going to clean it out of the wheels?

Speaker 5:

Good question.

Tim / GM:

Bert.

Thomas / Guy:

Look at that. He comes

Tim / GM:

screaming by you guys. I need a, give me a speed check. We'll do a, dexterity save, I suppose. 12? I'm gonna say, yeah, Bert, your book gets caught in the webs, you do not.

Thomas / Guy:

Oh, no.

Tim / GM:

So, yeah. You see Bert sliding down his book just like halts immediately like glue upon hitting these webs and you just see Bert launched 20 feet forward.

Thomas / Guy:

Woah. Oh, god, Bert.

Tim / GM:

Tumbling into the dirt. Snack flying not far behind now. You, see all of this and you see Bert get launched and go face first into the dirt.

Speaker 9:

I just fly down and and sit by Bert.

Thomas / Guy:

Do we do it, Snack?

Speaker 9:

I think so. I didn't have to burn the wagon down after all.

Speaker 10:

Great.

Speaker 9:

Your book is quite dirty though. I can try to clean it up for you.

Thomas / Guy:

No. No. No. No. No.

Thomas / Guy:

Don't touch my book.

Tim / GM:

Holly, you're the last one to actually rejoin them now. You got kind of, sent back a little up the hill when you blinked again. And now, you're sort of calmly walking back to them, wondering where Carl might be. And you thought the blink spell had ended, but you disappear again. You see that ethereal plane.

Tim / GM:

Now, that you're not in a dire emergency, you actually get a second to look around here, and it's sort of beautiful. It's like a sort of permanent twilight. It's very similar to the plane that you left here. All of the major features are there, but everything is different. The color scheme is all blue with accents of this sharp kind of piercing red and pink.

Tim / GM:

There's also these lines that seem to pierce through everything and sort of connect things in a in a sort of clever way. Almost like these lines between them are drawing actual metaphorical connections. You can see that trees have lines drawn to the sky and almost reaching towards the sun and also towards water and in a in a show of relationship. But what takes your attention is when you look towards the Bismite stone, you can see the answer to something that people have wondered for a long time and that's why is this rock here. And you can see clearly that Bismite grows along these lines in perfect orthogonal squares and right angles.

Tim / GM:

And it dawns on you at the same moment that these lines you're seeing is the weave. And you're seeing these lines passing through The Rock, your friends, and yourself. But the lines that are passing through you, Holly, are so numerous and so far reaching and so strong that it makes you question who you really are. Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.

Hannah / Eryn:

I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.

Thomas / Guy:

I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert FF Wisherspoon.

Speaker 7:

I'm Tara and I play Tibio Femur.

Speaker 10:

I'm John. I play Snack the Cobalt.

Speaker 5:

And I'm Maggie playing Uli.