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We're coming off vacation and diving into a topic that hits home: real estate is a 24/7 career, but that doesn't mean you need to be. In this episode, we talk about the guilt, the burnout, and the constant pressure agents feel to always be available. We share how setting boundaries, building systems, and actually taking time off has made us better agents—not worse ones. From decision fatigue to health consequences, we're breaking down why slowing down is the only way to speed up and sustain success in this business.
Creators and Guests
What is LeadingLane Podcast?
Welcome to LeadingLane, the go-to podcast for aspiring and seasoned real estate professionals! Hosted by Steven L. Burch and Ashley Fredrick, two seasoned brokers with a flair for the industry, this show delves into the core of what makes real estate tick. Each episode is a journey through essential topics like mastering time management, unraveling the complexities of real estate finances, and sharing authentic experiences from the field. Get valuable tips and tricks, whether you're a newbie or a pro. This podcast is your key to thriving in real estate.
Steven L Burch (00:00)
All right, welcome back to the Leading Lane podcast. Coming off of a vacation, coming back from a conference, this topic, you know, hits a little bit more home and then especially there's a lot of things going on with a lot of people around us. So the topic that we wrote down while we were gone is real estate is a 24 hour a day career. But that does not mean that you need to be. What does that mean to you, Ashley?
Ashley (00:29)
that's come over time. ⁓ And I think a lot of that has to do with setting boundaries. But real estate literally is, I mean, 24 seven, ⁓ obviously, not typical for like a midnight to 4am. But in the same sense, somebody might be in another state might be in another country. So for them, like I've had that numerous times where someone like it was in India. So when you do the time differences, right, like it's
Steven L Burch (00:30)
.
Ashley (00:57)
first thing in morning there, stream night here. So technically, if you're thinking about it, it's always running in some fashion. But I think that we as realtors have gotten into this grind, if you will, that we also have to be running 24 seven. And, you know, our last episode, like we talked about answering our phone, which yes, like during normal business hours, I think that's fine. But it is okay to draw boundaries as to
Not taking calls after whatever that might be. 9 PM. Not taking calls before 5 AM, right? Like you've had those people that call you at four o'clock in the morning. And I think that realtors are always afraid of like the loss of business of what happens in that 24 seven time frame. And will I say that you might lose business every now and then? Sure. Because you're going to get someone that is upset that you didn't answer the phone.
you were going to pee. I mean, I've had that happen. Like I called them back five minutes later and they're like, I already found someone else. And I was like, I literally can't even pee. I was definitely COVID times. You know, but I think with time, just comes ⁓ that if you are trying to run 24 seven, you just get that burnt out that more quickly. And when you're burnt out, I don't think that you are helping
Steven L Burch (01:55)
Okay. Okay. ⁓
Ashley (02:19)
your clients. I think that's when people are shorter with clients. I think that's when
Mistakes get made on contracts. think that's when maybe in hostile situations, but potentially like negotiating, like you're less likely to be able to take it calm because you are in that burnout. So I think for me, like, it's just understanding that it is okay. mean, like we were gone for seven days and my business still ran completely fine. You know, you have to put systems in place. ⁓ we were just talking about how.
you know, like I have an aura ring that tracks your resilience and your HRB and in a way like they did really well. I bumped into the excellence level and I bumped my HRB, right? And then it's kind of funny because as soon as you come back it like dropped back down and that's just the stresses of what we choose to do every day. I ⁓ think it goes back to your system. So if you put your systems in place, the camera just like zoomed in.
Steven L Burch (02:56)
⁓
Ashley (03:23)
That was weird.
Steven L Burch (03:23)
I saw a little bit of that and I was like, what was that?
Ashley (03:27)
I think that if you put those systems in place, like real estate doesn't have to be 24-7. That's where you have these, you know, even some of it is AI. Like we talked a lot about how AI is going to affect things in the future. And are there some scary parts to AI? Are there some things that I don't agree with? Definitely.
Are there ways that we can use it to enhance the way that we're doing things? We've even talked about, like, I use fixer AI for emails, right? So I get auto response to someone and I normally just check it and make sure it seems right. like the times like of that, so I think it's just really trying to, think, take a step back and like, what can you automate? What can you delegate and what can you do so that you actually have time away so that your business is still running? And a lot of that even, you know,
you can on Facebook, you can schedule posts. You can do all those things so that even while I'm on vacation, it might look like that I posted something real estate related, but that was two weeks ago that I scheduled it to run. think just making sure you're trying to think of ways to make it more automated so that you don't have to be doing it all the time 24 seven.
Steven L Burch (04:36)
I think you're right. It's the scarcity mindset for we're going to miss something. And as much as we need to be open forever, opportunity that is out there, if you don't have the system in play and slam dunk that side of things, I think you're always going to be on that hamster wheel constantly running for the grind and the grit and like
Yes, you can do it for a while. I mean, I did it for years. ⁓ But then when I realized, like, I don't like it. Like, I can't do anything at all. And then that's when those other comments that, it must be nice, or when I actually got away, those comments got to me even more because I can't even do anything right at that side of things too, right? It was kind of like this constant pressure from all these exterior...
things and happening in clients and it's making sure that you understand that it can be extremely lucrative if you put systems in play and you're building a business and you're building or you're working on a business, not in the business. And it took me a very long time to realize how to be able to navigate that and making sure that you're still taking time for yourself. Like you can't not do that.
⁓ so what do you think it is that like, coming back, you know, your, or a ring is thrown off these alerts and whatnot. how is it that you can disconnect when you're away, but then when you're there, it's like, shit, now everything else is back on play. What do you think that is? Cause I mean, I feel it too. And I, because of our trip, I ordered a, or a ring. I just got mine literally.
Ashley (06:22)
Mm-hmm.
Steven L Burch (06:26)
yesterday so let you know how that goes here soon.
Ashley (06:29)
I think,
you know, and there's people that have like virtual offices. maybe that's different, but I do think that there's like an actual like removing yourself from the actual location and being away because when you are in the office, like it is really easy to be ⁓ distracted. It's I get clients that stop in all the time, which I love, which that's why we move to our locations.
But in the same sense, right? Like that just can always like throw things off of your original plan. And I, you know, I don't know if it, if it's literally just the thought of being at like a way, but for me, when I'm gone, like it's easier to turn all that off. Like it's easier for me to not respond immediately to have an out of office on, or I think a lot of that too had to do with prepping clients before I left, right?
But in the same sense, like you're fully aware, like things came out of the woodworks while I was gone, like nothing was on my agenda, happened like was supposed to happen, right? And you still have to be prepared for that. But also when you do find those right clients, like 95 % of my business is repeat clients, which I'm super thankful for. And normally those people are extremely understanding. like if you say like, not a state till the rest of the week, okay, great. Like we'll worry about it when, when you're back. So I think being able
Steven L Burch (07:32)
Thank
Okay.
Ashley (07:53)
I used to not tell people when I was gone. I used to lie about being gone because I felt guilty about being gone and I didn't want to hear the must be nice or whatnot. And I have decided that that is ⁓ not the case. I mean, you even heard me. There was one, a seller and he's like, ⁓ which trip are you on this time? You know, obviously he makes jokes about it, but he's retired and, he came in the other day and was just talking about too that he stopped going on vacation, which I can totally feel is because
Steven L Burch (08:09)
Yes.
Ashley (08:21)
It's always like when you come back from vacation, you have to work like almost three times harder to make up for being gone because now you're throwing in one week and another week. So he said he just stopped going on vacation period. And I was like, okay, but now like how well did that really through you? And he's like, well, I my wife wasn't really happy about it. And I was like, exactly. Um, so I think that letting people know that you're human and I used to pride myself on being like superhuman or having people think that I was.
Steven L Burch (08:25)
Okay. Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Ashley (08:49)
superhuman and I could be in five places at once. And I have just come to the realization that most people are pretty understanding even a lot of people struggle with like having another agent show for them. And for me, I don't know why, but that doesn't bother me at all. You know, like people are very subtle. Well, they want me and like at the end of the day, like sure they do, but they also want that house. And if you're going to stand in the way of them getting that house, cause you want to hold onto them, that's really not in their best interest. So
Same thing like client that has been looking for a year and this like right house popped up and you my response was I cannot get you in, but I will have an agent get you in today. They didn't care who got them in as long as someone got them in, right? And then like I handed off to an agent. Will I take it back when I come back? Yes, but I am fully aware that they will handle it. They can take care of it. think that that's where some of that ability to disconnect has come from is knowing that
Steven L Burch (09:30)
Mm-hmm.
Ashley (09:48)
at least in my office, right? Like we've trained our agents. ⁓ Most of them were not in real estate before our office. So I know that they've been trained the way that I prefer people to do business versus people that maybe weren't. And so I'm confident when I hand them off to someone that they're going to be taken care of and they're going to hand them back. And in the same sense, like, right, when those agents are taking time away, they know that they can rely on us to do that. So I think that that has come a long way for me because I used to just
Steven L Burch (09:54)
Mm-hmm.
Ashley (10:16)
hold everyone like so close and I have realized that that's not doing anyone any favors. ⁓ So, you know, I think the other part of just coming back is ⁓ because I pushed off everyone that I could to this one week, not probably the best idea. ⁓ But I think too, again, it is like, it's being there, but I think it also is like me as a human is that like perfectionist piece. Like I want to make sure that I didn't miss anything.
Steven L Burch (10:18)
Okay. .
Ashley (10:44)
because I had a situation where I wasn't as good about delegating and whatnot, I missed something and it led to other concerns. So now for me, it's like that time of back checking everything. So again, all those systems are in place, but it's just a matter of we do live in a very, so happy world and like one missed step can create problems. So I think for me, that's just maybe the part of coming back is trying to make sure there weren't any missteps.
Steven L Burch (10:48)
Yeah.
you know, let's be real, like you are wearing
multiple hats. You're Ashley Frederick as the real estate agent. You're Ashley Frederick as the broker owner of your company, right? You're Ashley Frederick of the rentals that you have for your personal portfolio and then the clients that you're coming on with that. Then you guys have the construction company, right? They're in everything else that you're volunteering for. So it's almost like you're pulled in how many different directions and we don't want to let anybody down. How do you get that? And
I don't know if it's like this for you or not, it typically takes me a couple of days to actually let go and relax when I'm on vacation. And then typically a day or two before we're about to go home, I'm like, okay, my mind's going now I'm starting to get like, what's next? Like, all right, I have to start preparing. Yeah, I'm no longer in my, my relaxed mode, right? To get stuff done. So, um, I try to make sure that I look at it like, and it took me a long time. Uh, I think this is a great.
Ashley (12:03)
What's gonna be on my to-do list when I get home?
Steven L Burch (12:15)
whole topic about being an introvert versus an extrovert and realizing that when I'm away, I now look at it as like, I'm no longer in the spotlight, no longer have to walk into the office and be pulled in multiple different directions, right? Like I can disconnect. have, we're very, very laxed on like our agenda. When I say an agenda, when we're on vacation, like we don't even have one, like we don't pay attention to anything at all. And I know that kind of drives you not sometimes, but like we
since we're always on the go, like, I don't want to do a damn thing and I don't want like timelines, right? Like, that's why we don't do a whole bunch of reservations on anything. Let's go with the flow. So it's almost being able to be the complete polar opposite of what we do when we're at home and then what we do away. And I think the word that you, that I wrote down that you said that is like in all capitals, guilt. That's a real thing. Guilt as in
I feel guilty for not showing up. I feel guilty. This is me personally. I feel guilty that I'm not there to answer questions for other people. I feel guilty that I'm taking time for myself in a way. that's a lot of guilt and pressure that we're putting on ourselves on top of all of other hats and things that we are doing for ⁓ everybody else and the company and whatnot. So I feel that went to the core for sure.
Ashley (13:41)
You know, I think that it's gotten a little bit better. And I also think that goes back to training your staff too. So, right. Like I love it when I'm in an email, but maybe our office manager or an admin is feed. And then I didn't look at my email for an hour and they've already answered the question before I even had a chance to respond. Right. So like, I think a lot of being able to disconnect now does come from having the right people in play. ⁓ That makes it a lot more comfortable.
I wrote on here too was ⁓ decision fatigue. So I think that that's the other thing is when you're talking about and same for you being pulled in how many different directions you're making. I mean, it feels like 15,000 decisions in a day. And then you like pull it away and you make like,
Steven L Burch (14:14)
Thanks.
Ashley (14:29)
what are you going to have for breakfast? Like, you know what I mean? Like it's such a different mindset of your brain going like literally a hundred miles an hour down to like 10 miles an hour. And it's such a shift.
Steven L Burch (14:30)
Yeah. Okay.
⁓
Ashley (14:40)
get there. But I think you said it and it was like the best, like, then you were like, best Monday ever. Because like, we just went with the flow, like the whole day and we had fun and it was great, right? And like, you don't, you don't get the opportunity to do that in like everyday living. So I think that it is important for people to
realize that, like your, your brain wasn't necessarily wired to run at 100 miles an hour. And it's not just
Steven L Burch (15:05)
Like.
Ashley (15:07)
like your fatigue, but like that affects your health. And then when your health
starts to sway, and I was just talking to someone else about that, and I'm guilty of it, like putting off appointments or putting off things, right? So like same thing, like my ear that I keep on putting off, like it affects other parts of my life, right? But I'm still being, I'm not sure what the bullish right about getting it done, but in all reality, if you take a step back,
Steven L Burch (15:15)
And then. And then.
Ashley (15:37)
It affects me when I'm in, in large crowds. Like I have an event tonight, like no lie, like I thought about this morning, how hard it is going to be for me to have conversations. Well, had I just made the call like six months ago or kept on after them after not being in, I wouldn't be in that situation. So I think that's where we have to get to is that we can't continue to put our own health aside for business because really like you get to a point where it's too late or now you have to have rest.
Steven L Burch (15:46)
Okay. Okay.
Ashley (16:07)
You don't rest. Now you have to have it all over again. then really, like,
as we're in real estate, like that can affect your income because now you have to rest like doubly than what if you would have just taken care of yourself in the first thing. So I think that that's the other part of getting away. Sometimes too, I think maybe you realize like, I don't feel good or something's not right or I shouldn't be the street lead when I leave. Right. So like, do I need to change things at home so that I don't feel like that I have to leave all the time?
Steven L Burch (16:15)
And
that's a huge thing of.
You know, and we had a coach, mutual coach. And when she was like, okay, you're working this hard on your business, right? Are you working this hard on yourself? And I was like, no, I'm not. Like it's super easy to do on the business because other people are affected, you know, all of these different things, all these excuses that I was trying to tell myself. And then she was like, okay, so if something happens to you, what happens to your business? Like, well, really there is no business. And she was like, exactly because.
You are your business is the business of you. And if you're not working on yourself as hard as you are working on your business, there is no business and it's not going to sustain without you. And what I wrote down here in that mutual friend that we have that we shall remain nameless that should be taking care of herself instead of trying to hurry up and go, go, go. ⁓ I even texted her this as well. You have to slow down to actually speed up and
I don't know if I said on the podcast, I said it multiple other times, but it's almost like on Lightning McQueen, right? The Cars movie, you have to turn right to go left. And he was not understanding what that really meant because it was from an old school dude. know, so, far watched the movie. It's really good. Anyhow, you have to slow down to speed up and that you have to go down to that 10 miles per hour that you're talking about.
so that we can sustain that 100 mile an hour thinking and constantly. And if we never slow down, eventually that motor is going to break. It's gonna run out of oil, right? We're gonna be steam coming out of our ears and we're gonna be broken down. So ⁓ I think that it's super important to when we have those situations that arise while we're away or even while we're at home, shit happens still too.
you need to make it a learning opportunity for yourself and for your team, your staff, so that that situation, it doesn't either happen again or they know how to handle it. And that's when it's prime opportunity for you to be seeing what systems are broke, what procedures are broken, and coming up with those systems to put into play so you can hopefully prevent that in the future. So it's a constant evolution. And I think when you put your head in the sand and say,
no, let me hold everything myself. Let me just be that control freak that I am. Like you're not going to grow because you're holding everything and everything's holding you down.
Ashley (19:08)
Yeah, I think that's a really good analogy about ⁓ the lapse of, know, taking that, you know, if you were to think about like a race car and if someone's broke broken down, right? Like you're going to get lapped like numerous times and you're going to fall out of the, the Ryan. But in the same sense, if you think about it, there are times that you have to get off the track and you have to get four new sets of tires put on before you can go back and win the race. Right. So I think you can try to think about it that way. Like.
You want to get to the broke down point. You want to get to the point where you had to make a pit stop, get the pit stop fixed, get back on the track. So I think that that's where we need to stop feeling guilty about taking a pit stop.
Steven L Burch (19:52)
when you said stop and you paused, the only thing that came to my mind was stop, drop and roll.
Ashley (19:59)
I mean, hey, we had the fire department at our office last week too, so why not?
Steven L Burch (20:02)
You know,
there's always something, but, you know, you can use these analogies on so many different things, but you're absolutely correct. Go into the pits. And I think when you really look at that, like the racing specifically, like they have a pit crew, they lean on one another, they practice over and over and over. And the person that changes out the tires, they're the fastest freaking people ever, right? With the lug nuts and everything. So they're hyper-focused on their area.
And the driver, their job is to be able to drive and know the car, know how to go and correct it and fix everything. The mass majority of the drivers don't know how to do the mechanics of everything. That's why they have the full team behind them and everybody's leaning into their highest and best use. So I think that that's a huge takeaway to be able to make sure that you know, it's, it's not just you, right? Like one man band out there, one woman band, that you have a full team behind you. Even if you are the only person you're
You know, you're an agent and you're right there and you're the only person on your team. There's still people that are rooting you on and cheering you on and resources here for you to be able to get you to that finish line. Not even me, not to no pun intended there. Get you to the finish line. So.
Ashley (21:16)
I you think about it like, maybe it's a question of like, do you have the right pit crew? Right? I mean, like, for a while we didn't and that was why I probably didn't go on vacations or whatnot. And it comes with time, like, right? We started with, with no one, it was just us as agents and that takes time. you know, there's so many things as far as virtual assistants and other people. ⁓ I know we've talked about it before, I haven't used it, but I know it's called, maybe it's called Jane. There's another one, but we've talked about Ruby in the past.
Steven L Burch (21:45)
Yes.
Ashley (21:46)
where they answer your phone for you. And I mean, that's another thing if you're afraid of being away and missing calls, like more or less there you're answering service so they get a live person. So there are steps that you can take so that you can actually remove yourself. ⁓ And I know like a little bit of a hot topic, but I think that it's also okay to take a social media slash whatever detox. I actually had an agent come my office the other day and told me that she needed to. ⁓
And I was super proud of her for acknowledging that. And so I think that in the climate that we're in, you don't feel good, it's okay. You can take a 24 hour, do whatever you need to do so that your mental health is safe and that you are a human feel okay.
Steven L Burch (22:34)
Protect yourself, right? Like you're the one that has to the helmet on. You're the one that has to do it for yourself and make sure that you have all your safety gear and everything. Nobody else is going to do it for you. In today's world, it's we say it all. I mean, I think each time that we say something even more wild happens, you have to make sure that you're protecting yourself and you're taking care of yourself. And that because you're not going to be able to take care of anybody else if you're not putting yourself first. It's OK to be selfish.
And can we just go ahead and acknowledge like you have your hair up, you are dressed up, like where are you going?
Ashley (23:15)
Yeah, so it's called Akshaya Champions. I'm going to actually send you the list before I go to see if you want some meat. But it is a big ass meat raffle, which probably means something else to you. But it is a meat raffle here. And they we just had the fair in August, right? So I think I told you about a meat raffle. And you're like, the kind of meat raffle I'm excited for. But anyway. So they've
Steven L Burch (23:29)
I'm
I wouldn't say anything ever like that.
Ashley (23:45)
They auction off cattle, like people have raised their cattle, they've taken care of them. And then more or less like it gets sold in these packages and telling you like, have come home with like half a cow, a deer, hogs, whatever. And then they also throw in some trips and they throw in other things too, but it all has to do with our ⁓ national farm medicine research.
Like one year it was to help local farmers build like the roll away cages so that if their tractor tipped they would have protection. We've also done it for like necklaces that you would wear when you're in a manure pit. So there's been people that have passed away from the gases. So it's all ways to help ⁓ lessen some of the trauma in our farming community. So it's a black tie then everybody gets dressed up and everybody buys a shit ton of meat.
Steven L Burch (24:40)
I would love to see you at an auction. Well, okay. Because I think between you and, yeah, you and I would not do well. we wouldn't, I know I blow through my budget really quickly because we're not competitive.
Ashley (24:46)
It's bad. It's really bad.
Yeah, I've been normally like once he sees me like start to bid on something he's like, ⁓ because he knows that no matter what we'll be taking it home. ⁓ So that happens like at our RPAC. ⁓ So I normally let the girls pick out like an item that they want at RPAC and then that just means that I can't lose it. So I have had like, I think this was a very expensive blanket set that
Steven L Burch (25:12)
will be.
Yep.
Ashley (25:22)
Somebody ended up getting, you know, so it's kind of the fun part of it, but the fact that it's all going to a good cause. yeah, it's, ⁓
this one is unusual. This one, I don't always participate. We like to do some of silent stuff. So mean, like some of these packages go for like 15 and $20,000. ⁓ so there ⁓ are some obviously businesses and whatnot, but, ⁓ people get pretty.
Steven L Burch (25:31)
Okay.
Ashley (25:46)
competitive and then they have like seven different ones. you bid on, you were the winner on that package, you get to go to the end and like everyone
gets like a big prize and like someone I think one year won a Polaris and all this stuff. So yeah.
Steven L Burch (26:00)
That's awesome. That's awesome. Well,
that's great cars. Hope you guys have a lot of fun and ⁓ be safe.
Ashley (26:09)
Bye.
Steven L Burch (26:10)
All right. right. Tune into the next podcast for Leading Lane and we'll see you soon.