Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode:  https://share.transistor.fm/s/4bbd7e9c
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/217

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 217, the killer uses panties….i mean knickers to kill the greatest actor of all time and woman with no gas. Not Gazza’s problem! Cheese rolls!

Show Notes
The 3Ds
https://www.flyingnun.co.nz/collections/3ds/products/fn188-3ds-fish-tales-swarthy-songs-for-swabs-1991

Quantum physical and companion planting - Garden optimization problems for benchmarking quantum annealers
https://arxiv.org/abs/2101.10827
 
Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Schedule
  • October 21 - The Broken Wood Mysteries S02 E02 - "To Die or Not to Die"
  • October 28 - The Broken Wood Mysteries S02 E03 - "Catch of the Day"
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Creators & Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

You butter one side

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And then you flip it over. In a pot, you mix evaporated milk, not condensed milk, not sweet sweet No. No. Evaporated milk, dried onion soup mix, and cheese. Hey, Maniacs.

Mark:

Hey, Mystery Maniacs. Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of a show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love.

Sarah:

This week, Broken Wood Mysteries season 2 episode 1, leather and lace.

Mark:

Which is code word for salacious.

Sarah:

I'm Sarah.

Mark:

And I'm Mark.

Sarah:

We're gonna spoil it. If you've not watched Leather and Lace, go watch it come back. And if your kids can hear about underwear stuffed in somebody's throat, then I guess they'll be okay. Rugby? If they can handle the show

Mark:

Rugby does not come off looking like a great sport No. In this episode. Brokenwood comes wanna see a fist

Sarah:

fight? Brokenwood comes off as an all around kind of loser town. They can't win rugby. Dating there is completely broken. Like, gotta be a better place to live than they're making it look.

Mark:

I would think so.

Sarah:

Oh, but there's some doozy stuff in this. I'm I'm gonna say I've got something about this episode that is better than your Eagles spirit of freedom beer from last week.

Mark:

I'm excited to hear about that. Yep. Just a reminder, if anybody's fighting off hurricane devastation, please be careful, safe, and your were thought thinking about you.

Sarah:

And if you're listening to this Yeah. Then, hopefully, it gives you a little bit of break between bailing out your living room or whatever you're having to deal with.

Mark:

Most people have lived through it.

Sarah:

It's just a double whammy. Yeah. It's uncalled for.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

1 hurricane's bad enough.

Mark:

But 2.

Sarah:

I object.

Mark:

I object.

Sarah:

It's also Halloween time. Be be sure to pay attention to the socials, and you can see pictures of the crazy Halloween decorations.

Mark:

In the boogie at the boneyard is out now.

Sarah:

Just as we sat down, I I looked out the office window where we record, and I noticed that there were some folks who drove here, got out of the car, across the street just to take some photos.

Mark:

That's our neighbors.

Sarah:

That's why we do it.

Mark:

That's our house. We live in that house. Yep. So this episode originally aired on the 27th September 2015, directed by Michael Smith, and written again by Tim Baum, but this time with Nick Ward helping him out.

Sarah:

Can we talk about the name of the episode? Sure. Where does the leather come from? The lace, I understand.

Mark:

The ball is leather.

Sarah:

That's it?

Mark:

Yeah. And the shoes are leather.

Sarah:

That's that's where you think the title comes from?

Mark:

That's where I would think it

Sarah:

would be. Well written episode, but that title's gotta go. I don't like it.

Mark:

I don't think it works. It's kinda cliche.

Sarah:

So what would you have called it?

Mark:

Embroidered dead. Embroidered dead?

Sarah:

Embroidered dead. I thought sport and leisure.

Mark:

Sport and leisure works.

Sarah:

Like, because the leisure is there's there's a whole lot of leisure going on. There's a lot of leisure going on. Or twisted knickers.

Mark:

Twisted knickers works. My other one was foul balls.

Sarah:

Knickers in a twist might have done it too.

Mark:

Oh, knickers in a twist might be good, but the it's a great thing that Gina pulls the panties out of his mouth. We also It's

Sarah:

a great thing as opposed to, like, what, leaving them there? What do you mean?

Mark:

It's like a great

Sarah:

Oh, then it's her. Yeah. That it's her that does it. Yeah. It's her that reveal.

Mark:

Speaking of, we have a question from a a listener who is actually a long time friend of ours who now listens religiously to the podcast. Hi, Lucy. Hi, Lucy. Her question is, is since Arnie embroidered the panties for the librarian, she's obviously not as big as he is, how is it that he's wearing the pant

Sarah:

That's what I said too. Would underwear that would fit the librarians also fit Arnie?

Mark:

I think so. K. Because first of all, Arnie was a small man. But they're not like He's a great man, but he's a small man.

Sarah:

They're not like knit panties that are real stretchy, though. These are like satin and lace with a little bit of elastic. My theory is that a lot of men unfortunately wear underwear that's actually too small for them. They wear it just, like, around themselves and that narrowest part. And even a guy who's on the bigger side can have no butt, So maybe they fit.

Mark:

Also, I think he didn't really know what size she was so he probably guessed.

Sarah:

When they hold them up they look to be kind of an average size. Yeah. If he if he if he bought her underwear thinking well these would fit me so they'll fit her. They would I think they'd be a bit bigger. I had the same question, Lucy.

Sarah:

It's a hole in the plot.

Mark:

It's a hole in the plot.

Sarah:

We should at least see him pulling them, like, holding them up. It's a nice box he puts them in for her, though.

Mark:

It is a nice box.

Sarah:

But it's a little advanced for an early friend date.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Even though he embroidered them. Like, he could have embroidered a a handkerchief first.

Mark:

We begin in a horror movie again. Yep. This is the cold open is total horror movie. You can't beat a cheater.

Sarah:

I'm so glad they get the joke in about cheater and cheetah Yep. And the accent. Yep. Yeah. Dina is hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere.

Mark:

When you run out of gas, that's what you gotta do.

Sarah:

I guess. I'm surprised the car even went by. The car zooms at her, so she takes a picture of the license plate, and that means she's gotta die. Yep. And she's running through the woods.

Mark:

K. Len

Sarah:

chasing me, you freak.

Mark:

Len is insane. He is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Sarah:

Anybody who wears coveralls that are like a tank top at the top Yeah.

Mark:

Nuts. Bangs a drum.

Sarah:

You see a person wearing those instead of just regular coveralls, if they've opted to wear those instead, stay away from them. Yeah. They've already made a choice.

Mark:

And next, we're presented with Breen making sure that cheetahs go out for

Sarah:

a run. The Cheetahs. You gotta say Cheetah. Cheetah. Cheetah.

Mark:

Did you see the frog and cheetah logo?

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

Oh, it's fantastic.

Sarah:

The first thing Breen does is touch the body. He I

Mark:

have it

Sarah:

know better.

Mark:

I have it in my modes. What are you doing, Breen?

Sarah:

Just touching evidence. It's fine.

Mark:

Just touching evidence.

Sarah:

This is advanced dead body acting.

Mark:

In my notes, in all capital letters, an exceptional dead body.

Sarah:

Yeah. So he's naked. Yep. A scarf hiding his modesty. Yes.

Sarah:

Tied to the post tightly enough that it would keep him upright because normally a human body would kind of slump. Yep. So he's tied pretty tight. A deflated rugby ball smooshed onto his face and taped And taped? Around Yeah.

Sarah:

The ball onto his face. His body is all bruised up. It it's outside in the cold. You can see their breath when they're running. It's cold.

Mark:

It is the dead guy in a in a cornfield midsummer of broken woods.

Sarah:

So far. Yeah. The episodes we've covered, this is the most advanced dead body, I think.

Mark:

Just fantastic.

Sarah:

Mike comes along and does his talking to the dead person. Yes. And I'm even more impressed because now they've got the ball off of his face, and the poor guy's got his eyes wide open.

Mark:

Wide open. No breath. No nothing.

Sarah:

Just Exceptional.

Mark:

Ar Arnie is the star of this show.

Sarah:

Sylvain, the actor who plays Arnie, if you're out there and you're listening, bravo.

Mark:

He he should've won some awards.

Sarah:

You should play dead bodies more often.

Mark:

He plays okay. He plays a dead body amazingly well. Mhmm. He plays a man embroidering in a dress amazingly well.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He plays a man who's a part of the community, who's in the rotary and all that stuff amazingly well.

Sarah:

Being a coach?

Mark:

Being angry coach, being supportive coach.

Sarah:

Does he get jobs?

Mark:

All of that as well as being dejected loser. He does that really well. Like, what can he not do?

Sarah:

It's it shows a range.

Mark:

I was just amazed.

Sarah:

Mike jokes about a photo on his eyeball Yes. Of seeing the last image that Arnie would have seen when he was alive would be imprinted on his eyeball. Yes. Do you know what the name for that is?

Mark:

I don't. I know it's a thing that people think people thought.

Sarah:

Mhmm. It's called optography. Optography. And it's an idea that the last thing you see before death is imprinted on your retina.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And this is a big deal in the 19th early 20th century. Yeah. I didn't know that there is actually a scientific basis for it. Oh. It's not as crazy as it sounds.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

So the scientist who came up with it

Mark:

The crazy part for me always was hollowing at the whole the head, putting a light in it, and using it like a projector.

Sarah:

That would be pretty crazy. The scientist who came up with it was German, and his name was Franz Boll.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And he and his scientific partner who has the most unfortunate name, Willie Coon Oh. Observed that there's a pigment on the back of your eye. Right? On the back of your retina that is photosensitive Okay. Like the film of a camera.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Right? And they were able to see an image from a lamp on the retina of a frog after it died. So like a bright spot.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And they thought, oh, so it's photosensitive. However, here's the here's the catch. Yep. They exposed the frog's eyes to the lamp for 14 hours. So for this to work, your killer has to be glowing brightly Like the sun.

Sarah:

And stand over you for 14 hours with your eyes wide open.

Mark:

With his face real close.

Sarah:

You just look like a glowing ball, I think. Yeah. But then, of course, you know yeah. People thought, well, if we take the eyeballs out of a murder victim and flip them around, we'll be able to see or put them in front of a projector, we'll be able

Mark:

to see head into a projector.

Sarah:

Yeah. Basically. Just his eyeball.

Mark:

Mike is right here when he takes Breen off the case.

Sarah:

Yeah. He has to. Yeah. Because not only did he find the victim, he knew the victim. He's just too close.

Sarah:

Not that he's a suspect, but he's too close. It would be upsetting, I would think.

Mark:

I would think

Sarah:

He doesn't seem to care, but he should, I guess.

Mark:

I would think so. Sarah, ask me to do some chores.

Sarah:

Do some chores,

Mark:

will you? Specific chores.

Sarah:

Will you do the dishes?

Mark:

I can't. I gotta go to Riverstone. Oh. Ask another one.

Sarah:

Would you, take the dog for a walk?

Mark:

Unfortunately, I have to go to Riverstone. It is the excuse of the hour in broken wood.

Sarah:

Even more than that, I have to go to Riverstone right now. Yes. Like, immediately. I can't. I was in Riverstone.

Sarah:

I wasn't there. I was in Riverstone. I gotta go. Yeah. Brokenwood's so bad, everybody's gotta go to

Mark:

Riverstone. Riverstoning.

Sarah:

Well, it's where the only IVF clinic is apparently.

Mark:

I guess. I will. River a Stoney.

Sarah:

Can we talk about Sims getting into Gaza's car to go on a date? Oh. Because I'm confused.

Mark:

Okay. So the the guys on the rugby team are like the prototypical dudes. In fact, they all were they all do the same job.

Sarah:

Except one of them. Yes. So Hemi, Davo, and Gaza all do construction work. And then there's Steve, who also does construction work, but but on his own on a hilltop.

Mark:

Yes. Overlooking water. It's a beautiful view

Sarah:

where it's work. You call it carpenter, apparently. I don't know what he's building. But we get this flashback because Sims has to talk to Gaza, one of the players, and she's like, you know, what a tool he is.

Mark:

Well, she writes down that he's a loser.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because she said prior introduction to him, they'd gone on a date. When she'd first moved to Brokenwood, she was trying to date, and she went on a bad date with Gaza.

Mark:

I I love that she has a floofy dress on.

Sarah:

She looks nice.

Mark:

She does.

Sarah:

It's a green silk shirt dress. She looks nice. I have to think they'd met prior to her getting into his car because she wouldn't just get into a stranger's car. If you're gonna go on a first date with a stranger, you meet them someplace Yes. Like a coffee place or something.

Sarah:

You don't just get into the car. And when she gets in the car, she says, hi, Gaza. So she's met

Mark:

him. Yes. And I think 5 minutes before this, when they're arranging the date, would get Gaza out of the running anyway.

Sarah:

Let's let's say, just for sake of argument, that when she initially met him, it was right after a rugby game, and he was dirty and messy but had a reason for it, and he seemed sporty and nice. And she thought, yeah. I'll go on a date with him. I guess. And he says, great.

Sarah:

I'll pick you up. So she's she's looking nice. He looks a bit scruffy. Oh, well. She gets in the car and she says, what's that smell?

Sarah:

And then what does he do? He kinda laughs. But he he looks down.

Mark:

Yeah. Like, he acknowledges that his ass produced that smell.

Sarah:

Is that what he's doing? Yes. Is he saying sorry I farted in the car?

Mark:

Yes. This is a fartar.

Sarah:

Because I I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, and I've been on bad dates or whatever. I don't know. Or I suspect men of being creepy all the time. But the way he looks down, he looks kind of shy and embarrassed about it.

Sarah:

But he's looking down at his own lap.

Mark:

He's also kind of proud.

Sarah:

Oh, is that it?

Mark:

Yeah. He's

Sarah:

like, yeah. I did that. Sorry.

Mark:

That's exactly what it is.

Sarah:

Because then she fumbles, and I guess she's fumbling for the window, but my impression was she's trying to get out.

Mark:

No. She's fumbling for the windows, and and he says it's broken.

Sarah:

Do you think they went on the date? No. You think she just got out of the car? Yes. And was like, that's it?

Sarah:

Yes. Did he follow her and say, I'm really sorry that I farted in the car. Maybe. Or he just go whatever and drive off enjoying his own stink?

Mark:

Eventually, yeah. Oh, boy.

Sarah:

Gina finds underwear in Arnie's throat.

Mark:

Okay. So she says the ball wouldn't form a seal Mhmm. But the panties wouldn't form a seal.

Sarah:

They were if they were balled up and lodged in his throat I can't. In his windpipe. That's more than enough to block your windpipe.

Mark:

Sarah, don't light a candle a cigarette from a candle. It's bad luck.

Sarah:

Women have big hands in Russia. Don't get a job with the tourist board. Why would I? I'm a doctor. She's so funny.

Mark:

She is fantastic. So then Mike has the panties in the office, and and Sims is like, sorry. I'll leave you alone to your panties.

Sarah:

Let's talk about that word. I don't know why, but I find panties more offensive than, like, knickers or underwear. Panties.

Mark:

Well It's just so It depends how you say it.

Sarah:

Which show is it, is it a Poirot where there's a little girl whose nickname is Panty? Yes. That bothers me so much. I have never in my entire 49 years called the garments I wear under my clothes panties. Never.

Sarah:

Women, what's the proper name for them?

Mark:

Some people like it. Some people don't.

Sarah:

I think knickers is much much less skeezy. I mean, you just keep you just keep shrugging. I don't I Can I call yours panties?

Mark:

Sure. I don't think I should I don't think men should be naming women's on their carpets.

Sarah:

Do you find one more lascivious than the other?

Mark:

I think any word can be lascivious if used in the right context.

Sarah:

But when we did laundry for the kids when they were little, you would have never called the girls' underwear their panties.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Right? No. Because it seems wrong. Right? Point made.

Sarah:

Okay. Moving on. Arnie g g. Arnie pretended to make his own beer out in the shed. It was just a cover.

Mark:

Well, no. I wanna talk about g g first. Okay. And governor Gray because I did some research into governor Gray.

Sarah:

Well, it's the first name that they all think of.

Mark:

Yeah. And he is basically the first governor general of New Zealand. Long tradition first of all

Sarah:

Why didn't they just think of governor general?

Mark:

He is a horrible, horrible colonialist. Okay? He is.

Sarah:

I'm sure that's a common factor. And

Mark:

Lots of wars. Yeah. Lots of but he has some weirdness too. Like, right in the middle of his Wikipedia page, after all these accolades, he goes, after separating from his wife and developing a severe opium addiction.

Sarah:

Woah. After that

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

So When when was he governor general? How long ago are we talking about?

Mark:

In the 18 sixties.

Sarah:

So they may as well be saying George Washington.

Mark:

Yeah. It's like George Washington. The current governor

Sarah:

general the only Gigi they think of is somebody who's, like, a 150 years ago. That I do. Who do you think of?

Mark:

It's like a

Sarah:

You think of Gigi Allen?

Mark:

I do. And we're not going to talk about him.

Sarah:

No. But his underwear. But that's the first his panties.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

See? See how you react? Told you. I don't think of that's the only g g I can think of.

Mark:

The current governor general is a woman by the name of Cindy Cairo.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

She's the first female Maori, person to be governor general. Go her. She's a huge health care advocate, especially for children.

Sarah:

So That's awesome.

Mark:

She had to go to Elizabeth's funeral. That's a tough one.

Sarah:

No pressure. Yeah. Like, probably right after she was elected too. Like, not not too far after. It's high pressure.

Sarah:

Yeah. There's a lot of rules to learn.

Mark:

So let's talk about Breen's house.

Sarah:

And the missing the invisible Roxy?

Mark:

Okay. So we go from girlfriend, no girlfriend, Facebook, no girlfriend to a name

Sarah:

Mhmm. Which is Roxy. And they live together.

Mark:

They live together. And she's

Sarah:

got a stripper pole in

Mark:

the living room. She has an exercise pole.

Sarah:

It's an exercise pole? Yes. Really?

Mark:

So what else does Breen have in his house to symbolize a single or young man lives there?

Sarah:

Video game systems Yep. And pizza boxes.

Mark:

Pizza boxes. He has an Avro rugby ball, a fake fireplace, a rock band drum kit, pictures of Greece, surfers, and a helicopter. Why does he have a picture of the helicopter on his wall?

Sarah:

Grease the country, not Grease the musical.

Mark:

Grease the country.

Sarah:

Okay. Because that would be a little twist. I'd be like, really?

Mark:

We also get here, they drop the bumper sticker into a bunch of things here, but but now we know that that bumper sticker's everywhere.

Sarah:

So Can't beat a cheetah.

Mark:

Yes. Can't beat a cheetah, and no cheese rolls before kickoff.

Sarah:

These cheese rolls are something else.

Mark:

So missus m and Jared are in the crowd with the killer.

Sarah:

This is the introduction of missus Marlow. She's a bit understated in this episode. She just gets better.

Mark:

She just gets better.

Sarah:

She and Jared together are awesome Yes. Because they're hilarious. What do you think her cheese rolls are?

Mark:

Okay. If I was to guess what cheese rolls are, I would say they're puff pastry filled with cream cheese and or cheddar cheese that are flaky and get everywhere.

Sarah:

So like a sausage roll, but with cheese? Yes.

Mark:

No. Okay. Wow.

Sarah:

As far from what they are as possible.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Here is how you make a New Zealand cheese roll.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Feel free to write in and correct me about various ingredients and how you do it differently and better, but I was shocked. Yes. A loaf of white bread.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Okay? You butter one side

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And then you flip it over. In a pot, you mix evaporated milk, not condensed milk, not sweet

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

No. Evaporated milk, dried onion soup mix, and cheese. Various cheeses.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Cheddar, whatever you want. Cheese you want. You're basically making a roux.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Okay? Like a cheese sauce.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

You smear that on the other side.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And you roll it up butter side out.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Put it seam side down on a pan and bake it. That's a cheese roll.

Mark:

They might be good.

Sarah:

It's like Welsh rarebit rolled up. Yeah. Like an open like, rolled up grilled cheese kinda. We should make them. Fancy grilled cheese.

Mark:

We should try them them because they really love them in this episode.

Sarah:

I'm just shocked that they're made with white bread and not like a dough. Like, the first thing you thought of is it's a baked good, like, made from scratch. No. No. No.

Sarah:

Missus Marlow is just rolling up some wonder bread with some cheese inside. It's like a rolled up grilled cheese.

Mark:

It seems better that it's not Filo Dough.

Sarah:

Yeah. You don't like that kind of thing. I don't like that kind of thing. So So Arnie wasn't the typical coach for rugby. Rugby is a very violent game.

Sarah:

It's an aggressive game.

Mark:

Every showing of rug rugby in this show is of people beating the crap of each other or killing each other.

Sarah:

I don't think punching is actually part of rugby.

Mark:

I hope not.

Sarah:

I think it just kinda happens like it does in hockey.

Mark:

Said the person who likes the sport where punching is part of

Sarah:

the But it is an aggressive sport.

Mark:

It is.

Sarah:

Right? It's like American football without the pads and far more tackling.

Mark:

It was the fantastic part in the Olympics. I loved everything.

Sarah:

Especially the women's games. Yep. They were epic.

Mark:

They were epic.

Sarah:

But because a few years before, a player 2 players got in a fight and a player on his team accidentally killed someone from the other team by punching him to death, Arnie is now an avowed anti violence

Mark:

coach Which I can see.

Sarah:

Sending his players to anger management. Yep. And, yeah, and I I understand that, and I I don't disagree with it. I think even the most, like, aggressive punch up hockey players would say, I'm not punching that guy because I'm mad. I'm punching him because it's strategy.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Right? Yeah. It's to rally the team around. It's to show him who's boss. It's not out of anger.

Sarah:

You punch somebody out of anger, you're out of control. Yes. This guy was definitely out of control.

Mark:

Yes. I agree. The

Sarah:

guy who gets punched to death does a good job.

Mark:

He does.

Sarah:

He looks dead.

Mark:

But since then great dead body in this episode.

Sarah:

Since then, Arnie's approach is different.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

He's taken a different tact. He he started embroidering or something. The frog and cheetah is described as an aspirational bar. What the hell does that mean?

Mark:

I don't know. But later, Ray puts up the greatest poster of all time.

Sarah:

The wet T shirt contest?

Mark:

The wet T shirt contest.

Sarah:

But what does he mean? What is he trying to say? It's an aspirational bar.

Mark:

He he wants it to be more than it is.

Sarah:

He wants people to go there because they wanna be fancier people than they are? Yes. They wanna better themselves by going to the bar? Yes. Okay.

Sarah:

How does a wet t shirt contest contribute to that?

Mark:

That is what's called a joke.

Sarah:

I mean, if he was playing chamber music in there, that'd be different. He's having cultural events.

Mark:

It's it's a joke. Ray, of course, runs the frog and cheetah, which has the best logo in the world. Why is it the best logo in the world? Because it is a frog riding on top of a cheat.

Sarah:

What else could it be? You can't have it the other way around. You can't have a cheetah riding a frog. That doesn't work, especially if the frog's been in front of the lamp for about 14 hours. I guess you could have a cheetah with a frog in its mouth.

Mark:

Maybe.

Sarah:

But I think riding the cheetah is better.

Mark:

He sponsors the team as well as giving the team members a break if they wear their uniforms into He

Sarah:

gives them a free beer.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

We'll give you a little preview here. The frog and cheetah is no small character in Brokenwood going forward. It's a major location. It changes names. There's crimes associated with it, and Ray is not the straightest stick in the bunch.

Sarah:

No. He's gonna commit some crimes. His sister is even worse.

Mark:

Ray is not a mean spirited criminal. He is a

Sarah:

Opportunist businessman. Opportunist businessman. He'll bend the rules a little bit.

Mark:

Did you see what it said on the bottom of the wet T shirt contest sign? No. So there's a line I couldn't read at the bottom that says, win, and then there's a string of text. I really wish I knew what that said because I bet there's a goof in there. Because the line

Sarah:

You never could read it?

Mark:

No. I tried. The line, we need a 65 inch TV.

Sarah:

Okay. No. I'm not falling for that. We need this for the podcast. Can we write it off on taxes or something?

Mark:

I guess. Yeah.

Sarah:

I'm not falling for that.

Mark:

It was hard enough to explain the comic book company to the accountant. Yeah. He's not getting in the podcast. The frog and cheetah wetter T shirt contest, Thursday at 9. That's a legitimate time for a wet cheese shirt time God.

Sarah:

A wet cheese shirt contest?

Mark:

A wet cheese shirt contest.

Sarah:

Wet cheese roll up contest?

Mark:

Oh, it's better than cheese panties. And then it says

Sarah:

why he smelled so bad.

Mark:

And then it says

Sarah:

He's wearing his cheese panties. Then it says what?

Mark:

BYO shirt.

Sarah:

BYO shirt.

Mark:

T shirt. Bring your own t shirt.

Sarah:

That's legitimate though because there are somewhat t shirt contests where the t shirt is provided so that everybody has the same t shirt. And it's a thin cheap white t shirt.

Mark:

I understand all of that, but that is a goof that they're having fun.

Sarah:

Wet t shirt contests in general are shameful.

Mark:

The fact that they're making a wet t shirt contest joke in 2015 is shameful.

Sarah:

It should be men only. Like, the establishment Except for missus Marlow, she should participate because that would be hilarious.

Mark:

The establishment I worked in in college in which young ladies removed their clothing, they didn't even have wet T shirt contests, and this was in 1990.

Sarah:

He was just the DJ.

Mark:

I was just the DJ.

Sarah:

So we know that Dina's car so Dina got catfished, right, on a dating app. She was she thought she was going to Brokenwood for a date, but really, she was just being tricked by a 13 year old girl playing a joke. So she leaves town. Her car runs out of gas on this little road down the middle of nowhere. She gets chased to the woods, and then they they find her dead.

Sarah:

So now we've got 2 dead bodies.

Mark:

And they do some good detecting here?

Sarah:

Yeah. Some good detecting work. Following footprints and finding your shoes.

Mark:

That they bet whether or not she ran out of gas or car broke down.

Sarah:

Because her hood wasn't That

Mark:

that's a good that's a absolute good thing. The rugby boot holes are great.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And I love her dead body. Another exceptional dead body. She's lying in the mud right by the water.

Sarah:

Okay. But it's weird to say I love her dead body.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

It's good dead body acting.

Mark:

It's fantastic dead body.

Sarah:

Done by Julia Hyde, the actress who plays Dina. Yep. Yeah. She's convincing, and I I as soon as she's takes off running in those shoes, I'm like, oh, girlfriend. This is not gonna go well for you.

Sarah:

Yeah. When she's walking on the road in those shoes, I feel bad for her.

Mark:

Yeah. Mike finds the dead body, and they Sims has to kill tell Dina's parents. And we go back to Breen's house, and I am stuck.

Sarah:

Oh, because of his weird t shirt?

Mark:

Because I'm in love with Breen's weird t shirts.

Sarah:

I noticed it, and I didn't look into it because I knew you would.

Mark:

It is a 1991 t shirt from the band, the 3 d's, New Zealand, rock and roll band.

Sarah:

Are they on Smoko?

Mark:

Oh, they're on Smoko. Advertising the tour for their fish tales slash swarthy songs for swabs.

Sarah:

Is there are they a pirate band?

Mark:

No. That t shirt is of a picture of zombie pirates attacking Tintin and the captain and Snowy. If you know anything about Belgian comics, these are icons.

Sarah:

We're so deep in a hole already. This Are you saying it's a cool shirt? Is that what you're saying?

Mark:

It is a super cool shirt, and they have a song called, which is the guy who created on this record.

Sarah:

As they should, they should also get sued for using 10:10.

Mark:

Now, Sarah, I'm gonna tell you how good this band is because I listened to this whole record.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Okay. 15 songs.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

How long is the record?

Sarah:

Well, the songs will be, like, 3 minutes apiece. So Like, 45 minutes.

Mark:

36 minutes and 39 seconds.

Sarah:

For the whole record?

Mark:

Bridge. Get down to Bridgeness. You play a 2 minute song, and you're out. 15 songs, 36 minutes and

Sarah:

30 minutes. Tell you about Breen that he likes this band?

Mark:

I think because there are 2 people in this band who are comedians.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And we know the actor who plays Breen is a comedian.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

I bet you he knows them.

Sarah:

So you think this wasn't from Wardrobe? This was his t shirt?

Mark:

I think it's a t shirt that he owned.

Sarah:

And he wanted to wear it.

Mark:

Yep. I can't believe I I found that record

Sarah:

I'm impressed.

Mark:

With that t shirt. And

Sarah:

And then you listen

Mark:

to it. Like, wait a minute. That's Tintin. Wait a minute. That's Snowy.

Mark:

Wait a minute. That's the captain. That's a zombie pirate.

Sarah:

And Mark is down the hole. So far down the hole.

Mark:

The other thing I like about the 3 d's is they're one of these bands that owns record stores and a record company. And the name of that record company is Flying Nun. They They sound

Sarah:

like they have a good sense of humor.

Mark:

They sound like a great fun band.

Sarah:

Comedians in the band makes sense.

Mark:

Yep. He spent he he's painting the spare room because Roxy's making noise.

Sarah:

Are we just supposed to hate her without ever seeing her?

Mark:

I think we see her once at the end.

Sarah:

I know. But at this point, are we just supposed to dislike her? Is that it?

Mark:

I think we're supposed to think she is a unserious girlfriend for Breen that allows them to make fun of him.

Sarah:

Yeah. So

Mark:

they find out Lynn's brother there is the guy who killed the guy, and then he he

Sarah:

The guy who killed the guy. Okay. Lynn's brother was the rugby player who accidentally punched the other rugby player to death Yes. And afterwards killed himself.

Mark:

Yes. And Arnie says it haunts me.

Sarah:

There's a ghost on the sideline.

Mark:

That's a good line because the way it comes back later.

Sarah:

Mhmm. And we find out that Steve, the pastoral carpenter Yes. Is having an affair with Arnie's wife who he's been separated from for years.

Mark:

And, like, it is set up that we are not supposed to trust Arnie's wife, Barbara, and we're not supposed to trust Steve, and they end up being the most caring, responsible, loving couple of the episode.

Sarah:

Steve looks like that action actor who's in the beekeeper movie. And Jason Statham. He looks like Jason Statham.

Mark:

Yes. Who played rugby or football, one sport in England.

Sarah:

Mhmm. We've talked about that.

Mark:

Yes. So Dave and

Sarah:

I love Breen says, you can't call us losers just because we haven't won. And Sims says, you should put them on a T shirt.

Mark:

Another T shirt that caught my interest is when Dave and one of the the swabbos, one of the grunts from the football team

Sarah:

Heavy Dave O'Raza?

Mark:

They have an argument in the field Mhmm. And he has a motorcycle t shirt on from a motorcycle club. There's a a really cool skeleton on a chopper, but I couldn't find it.

Sarah:

See that one.

Mark:

I couldn't find it anywhere.

Sarah:

So Arnie's told the the team Yes. After they lost 25 games, that if they lost another 25, he'd eat the ball.

Mark:

Yep. I'll eat this bloody ball.

Sarah:

Because he was sure that they wouldn't lose another 25 games, but they didn't.

Mark:

And then in, like, the worst luck situation, the 3 stooges of the football of the rugby team are like, somebody should string them up on the goalposts, naked with a scarf, with a football on his face.

Sarah:

I hope we didn't say that in front of a killer. Oops. Lenny's in the background with a notebook. Mhmm. Mhmm.

Mark:

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Sarah:

Oh, and panties? Oh, they don't know about the panties. Okay. Then in comes a red herring wearing a red coat.

Mark:

Yes. The librarian. The lie missus Ginsburg.

Sarah:

Gloria, she of the widow of blackness.

Mark:

Yes. She really does her husband's in.

Sarah:

It's not her fault, Mark.

Mark:

It isn't

Sarah:

her fault. They just happen to die.

Mark:

Boy, she loves Holly Collins just like future episode Mike.

Sarah:

Oh, it's, his favorite Yeah. Musician.

Mark:

And then she says, I don't own a cell phone, and Mike basically licks the book.

Sarah:

Yeah. I love

Mark:

you. I love you.

Sarah:

If only she said that the model of car he drives is was her favorite car. Yes. And here is the holes that I fall into. And once we get a a look at, Gloria Ginsberg, she of the library

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

I fell into a hole because Jared recognizes her, and he says, oh, has the has the dog seen the rabbit, you know, to Mike? Yes. Like because Mike's like, who's that?

Mark:

You

Sarah:

know? He doesn't know that it's because her initials are g g. No. Jared doesn't know that. But then he's Mike asks Jared, oh, have you met her?

Sarah:

And he says, yes. She helped me. Do you remember what she helped him with?

Mark:

With his uncle something.

Sarah:

No. Find a choice book on quantum physics in relation to companion planting.

Mark:

Oh, yes. Yes.

Sarah:

It sounds goofy.

Mark:

It does. It does. But it sounds Jared y.

Sarah:

But it doesn't sound real. No. Not only is it real Okay. But Jared is a time traveler. Jared's a time traveler?

Sarah:

Because the writers are time travelers because this was written in 2015 or before and the first paper ever published on the connection between con quantum physics and companion planting was published in the Journal of Quantum Information Processing in 2021.

Mark:

How is that possible?

Sarah:

6 years before anyone discovered the connection between quantum physics and quantum computing and companion planting, Jared knew about it and apparently had a book that had traveled back in time. Wow. In this article Yes. We'll post a link to it. Yes.

Sarah:

Because people like to see the links.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Oh, boy. I have a PhD. It's not in physics. I had to copy the abstract of this article into chat g p t and ask it to translate it into normal language. And here's the summary.

Sarah:

Okay. Quantum computing is used to solve problems in companion planting with 18 plant species, optimizing the problems for benchmarking quantum annealers. Okay. This is the bottom line is this article proves that quantum computing is powerful enough to optimize companion planting.

Mark:

And companion planting is

Sarah:

Planting.

Mark:

Of these 16 other plants around my vine vineyards.

Sarah:

No. Which plants are best to plant near each other because of the way that they complement one another and the nutrients they use and the the kind of pollinators they attract Cool. So that they don't compete for the nutrients. They actually complement one another. So it's a matrices of 18 by 18 plants, which which ones work best together and all the data related to that, and they used a quantum computer to solve this.

Mark:

Now do you think okay. Do you think the writers just made it as a joke?

Sarah:

Yeah. And it can be

Mark:

real. Wow. That's fantastic.

Sarah:

And I looked through the bibliography of this article to see if there were any older articles that it's referencing. Yeah. No. No. None.

Sarah:

None. This is, as far as I can find, the only combination of any kind of quantum physics and companion planning, and it's 6 years after this art this That's

Mark:

fantastic.

Sarah:

I thought it was brilliant. Yep. That's And, yes, they do plant rose bushes at the ends of vines for the very reason that he talks about, that Jared talks about.

Mark:

I'm sure all the wine stuff is right on them.

Sarah:

They're canaries, basically.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Because they're more susceptible to the things that kill vines. Yeah. So they get it first. Okay. Yeah.

Mark:

So there's 2 little things I wanna talk about here, and they're not related to the plot at all, but they are bigger thing. First of all, it's 3 things. 1, the bullhorn is not in this episode. It's gone? We're we're past bullhorn.

Mark:

Okay. So because when Baldi's in the office, you see the whole office, and the Bullhorn's not there.

Sarah:

Season 2, no Bullhorn. No Bullhorn. Okay. Okay.

Mark:

2nd of all, Sims has a nameplate on her desk, which is underneath her monitor. Does she need to be told who Kristen is?

Sarah:

Is it aiming at her?

Mark:

It's aiming at her.

Sarah:

Like, she can see her own name, but nobody else can?

Mark:

Exactly. She touches it. I'm like, why is that even there?

Sarah:

What's my name again? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

Mark:

But the best part is the coffee story continues here. Because they go to, and he makes coffee. And he says it's just a plunger and whatever beans.

Sarah:

What do we call we call that a cafeteria? Yeah. Well, she's already offered Mike coffee from her thermos at the rugby is. At the rugby field.

Mark:

And he's like,

Sarah:

no. Thanks.

Mark:

So then and it's not even referenced. The next time we're in the cop shop, she's making coffee with a plunger. Mhmm. She's trying it out.

Sarah:

And she offers them to Mike, and he says, I'm just about to leave.

Mark:

So she knows she makes bad coffee at this point in time.

Sarah:

Or at least she knows that Breen's is better, and that's why.

Mark:

Well, she says it's better.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

But she does not succeed. Her coffee is still bad. What is Kristen doing to the coffee?

Sarah:

I don't know. I mean, it's just coffee and water. I mean, how how can you mess it up?

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

I mean, you could let it brew for too long or not long enough, but that's it. You can make it too strong or too weak. That's it.

Mark:

It's really hard to burn coffee.

Sarah:

Mhmm. Especially in a cafeteria because you don't even put it on the heat. Yeah. You pour boiling water in it. In it.

Sarah:

Hughes comes to talk to Breen to see if he can be cleared to go back on the case Yes. Back to work. And and, of course, Hughes is going off on a kayak trip and all that stuff. Yep. But by far, my favorite Breen bit in this episode is when Hughes says he's cleared to go back to work and Breen hugs him.

Sarah:

Yes. Hughes goes in for a handshake and Breen hugs him. And he does Nick Sampson does such a good job of the face. Yeah. Because we've all done it.

Sarah:

Right? We've all gone in, like, for a handshake, and the other person expected a hug or a high five or a fist bump or we've all done what we thought was, like, damn, I messed that up with that important person. Somehow I was awkward. And he's so pale anyway, and he goes red. I don't know how you blush on command, but he does it.

Mark:

He does it. He does it

Sarah:

so well. Feel for him like, oh, we've all been there, dude. He's lucky that Hughes is kind of cool and laid back.

Mark:

Breen goes to get books for about embroidery from And

Sarah:

they're missing.

Mark:

They're missing. But I did notice that they have the correct Dewey Decimal number for the embroidery books on them.

Sarah:

Oh, that's not hard to do, But they haven't been checked out.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

I don't know if if, Gloria Ginsberg would be so open about somebody's borrowing history. In the US, that's pretty top secret stuff. It is? Even when somebody's dead, you kinda gotta have a warrant to find out what books, because you're right to check out books from the library and for people to not know what you're checking out is very protected.

Mark:

But you see, Mike has eye crinkles and lights, country music.

Sarah:

Oh, and you think her like of country music is genuine and not just part of her black widow powers?

Mark:

I don't know. Why does she say that people would call her the choker?

Sarah:

I don't know, but she's a dangerous librarian.

Mark:

I I could not disagree more. I think she's fantastic. I wish Mike formed a relationship with her. I think they're fun and cool together. And

Sarah:

Not as cool as Breen in the sewing circle.

Mark:

Oh, Breen in the sewing circle. It's the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my entire life.

Sarah:

Missus Marlowe just takes those knickers right out of that bag, practically puts her face on them. Well, every embroiderer has their own signature like a fingerprint. Okay. No. They don't.

Sarah:

No. They don't.

Mark:

She is, missus m is totally the midsummer watcher of the of the broken wood.

Sarah:

Broken wood. Yep. I can only imagine the conversation of the sewing circle ladies after he left. Yes. Do you think those were his knickers?

Sarah:

Where do you think those knickers came from? Who could that be? I'm surprised they didn't just all go, oh, that's gotta be Gloria Ginsberg. She's the only g g in town who's not under 12 or over 90 or in a coma.

Mark:

So then Breen gives away the plot. He says, I could only have been more embarrassed if I was wearing them.

Sarah:

And Mike goes, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Mark:

I figured everything out. The light bulb.

Sarah:

Uh-huh. Ernie wore the Nickards because he likes Wagner, obviously. They kinda skirt here

Mark:

with cross dressing.

Sarah:

And in this situation, liking Wagner doesn't make you a Nazi. It makes you a cross dresser.

Mark:

Arnie is not a trans woman. No. Arnie is a

Sarah:

Cross dresser.

Mark:

Man who likes to wear women's clothing.

Sarah:

Yes. Yep. He doesn't wanna be a woman. Sims says an interesting date men.

Mark:

Sims says an interesting thing here, which he says, she says don't they usually do it in public, which is understandable.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And then you have that great shot of Arnie walking down the street, and he moves from upstanding citizen helping people to dude who walks around with women's underwear on because he loves it.

Sarah:

He's got a secret, and he's enjoying it. It's not hurting anybody.

Mark:

No. It's not hurting anybody. But and he does that without any words. Fantastic actor. Justin.

Sarah:

Sylvain, very good actor.

Mark:

A fantastic actor.

Sarah:

But I I love that look on his face. The I know something nobody else knows, nobody needs to know, and it's making me happy.

Mark:

Yeah. I understand that. All of my tattoos and all of Sarah's tattoos are not visible. Like, you have to know us really well.

Sarah:

We've gotta be in swimsuits.

Mark:

Yeah. To see our tattoos.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And I I kinda understand that feeling.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's a secret to yourself that makes you happy.

Mark:

You'll be absolutely not surprised that my next note is, wow. This place is a mess. Len has been in trouble for a long time. Yeah. His his door is wide open.

Sarah:

He's wearing the sleeveless coveralls again.

Mark:

Yep. He he okay. Just gonna say this. If you have a shrine to somebody who you're related to who has passed, maybe talk to somebody. Okay?

Mark:

If you if you have a shrine

Sarah:

Unless you're from a culture where that is tradition.

Mark:

That's true. That's true.

Sarah:

If it's tradition, fine. If it's not, if no one else in your family has one or couldn't see yours without thinking you're crazy Yeah. I you might need help.

Mark:

Or a shrine to somebody that you barely know,

Sarah:

that's That's right out.

Mark:

That's right out.

Sarah:

That's called a serial killer kit, stalker kit in the making.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

So Lynn blames Arnie for his brother's death

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Because his brother committed suicide after accidentally killing somebody in the game. Yes. Lynn thinks that Arnie encouraged violence

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

In the game and made his brother punch somebody to death. It's misplaced.

Mark:

Oh, Len is not a writer. Needed help,

Sarah:

and he needs help.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

I don't care if he's a house painter or not. Yep. But, boy, he dumps Smurf blue paint Oh. On Mike's car. That might be worse than murdering somebody as far as Mike's concerned.

Mark:

Mike is so angry. Wouldn't you be? Oh, I would absolutely be

Sarah:

It would be better if he poured it on the hood, but he pours it on the windshield. So it's gonna go down in the vents, and it's, like, in all the nooks and crannies and the windshield wipers.

Mark:

Like, we have to go. And Mike is like

Sarah:

I know. I love when they run into Breen there and and, at the field. Yeah. Breen is like, what's going on? What happened to your car?

Sarah:

And they're like, just go. Right? And Sims is absolutely right. It is Smurf blue.

Mark:

It is totally Smurf blue.

Sarah:

There's not many colors that would be worse than that

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

On your car. And we also learned that Lynn and his brother who committed suicide were identical twins. Yes. Which must have really bothered Arnie. That must be tough in general.

Mark:

Well, that's the ghost on the streamline.

Sarah:

Yeah. But just in general, if you have an identical twin and your twin dies in any way, that must be so hard. Yeah. For everybody.

Mark:

I can only imagine.

Sarah:

Everybody around you. Yeah. She says it's like you hit a Smurf.

Mark:

It's bad. They save Len, which I'm glad. Yeah. Like, I love the fact that Sims is smart enough that when she sees the situation, she immediately takes her knife out and has it ready.

Sarah:

Mhmm. To cut the rope.

Mark:

Yep. Yeah. So that it's not a

Sarah:

And bring those to grab him and lift him

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

To take the string off his neck.

Mark:

They all act like professional police people.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And then they leave, and I look at the crest for the cheetahs. Did you see what was on the crest for the cheetahs?

Sarah:

No. Are they riding frogs?

Mark:

No. There's no Are

Sarah:

they wearing panties?

Mark:

I don't.

Sarah:

All you

Mark:

see is the bottom two panels of the 4 panels. Uh-huh. And one of them is a fisherman, a fly fisherman. Yeah. And the other one is grapes.

Sarah:

Isn't that crest on the sign leading into town that we see in the first episode?

Mark:

Oh, I don't know. I'm gonna have to go back.

Sarah:

You know who the real loser in this episode is? Dina. Dina got screwed everywhere from Wednesday.

Mark:

Oh my god.

Sarah:

She wanted to do was meet somebody nice and go on a date. Oh, sure. Not only did she not go on a date, she got catfished by a 13 year old girl, and then she got killed just because she dared to take a picture of the license plate of a guy who tried to run her over.

Mark:

When she's wandering around the bar, the frog and cheetah, it looks so sad.

Sarah:

And she's surrounded by losers like Hemi and Davo, Gaza, stinky Gaza. He have the cheese roll farts in his car. Yeah. I mean, she must have driven into broken wooden found out that there was no date and went, like, how soon can I get out of here?

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And then her car runs out of gas. Like Yeah. Yeah. You should've been paying attention to the gas gauge, but she's

Mark:

had other things on her mind. It's Mike's ex wife who

Sarah:

said thought it was extra full. Yeah. That's what the e stands

Mark:

for. After the credits.

Sarah:

No. Who's the best corpse? We've got 3. We've got the we've got the rugby player. We've got Arnie, and we've got Dina.

Mark:

I think I think it has to be Arnie for sheer volume of work and quality of work. Mhmm. If we saw more of Dina, we might say the same thing. But

Sarah:

Arnie is above and beyond.

Mark:

Just amazing work.

Sarah:

I just I wanna just put a blanket

Mark:

on him. The bravery hold. Of that part.

Sarah:

Yeah. Well

Mark:

Well, we're gonna put you

Sarah:

We've the good news is your agent calling. The good news is you got you we've got you a role, and it's in this new show called Broken Wood. It's gonna be huge.

Mark:

It's gonna be huge. 2nd season. Phil's thinking Everybody's super excited. Phil's

Sarah:

thinking, great. Maybe it's a recurring role

Mark:

or Yep.

Sarah:

Like, really good. K. The bad news is it's just a one one episode part. Oh, okay. Okay.

Sarah:

And you're dead when the episode starts.

Mark:

Oh, well, I get to be a murder victim. Okay.

Sarah:

That's exciting. Okay. That's challenging. Yep. Okay.

Sarah:

And, yeah, your character dies by being tied to the goalpost of a rugby field.

Mark:

Oh. Naked. Oh. With p p panties in your mouth. Oh.

Mark:

And a flip and a rugby ball on your face.

Sarah:

And some electrical tape wrapped around your head.

Mark:

And the guy who kills you dances around you while playing a drum. And Wow. And

Sarah:

you're gonna have to have your eyes open all the time.

Mark:

Then there's a scene where you're

Sarah:

But it's a challenge, Phil, and you're up to it. Yep. I'm I'm confident you can do this. You can do this, Phil. And somewhere, in about 10 years, some Americans will make a podcast about it Yes.

Sarah:

And praise your amazing work.

Mark:

Just amazing.

Sarah:

After the credits, is the team gonna survive?

Mark:

Yes. I think so. They may even win a game.

Sarah:

They'll get a new coach?

Mark:

I think they should have a new coach.

Sarah:

Maybe Steve should coach. Really? He's been through anger management. Yep. He's got a girlfriend.

Sarah:

They're trying to have a baby. He's got a future. Yep. His relationship with Barbara is kind of weird. Like, initially, I I sort of thought that he was just helping her because she wanted to have a baby and not because they were a couple.

Mark:

And I I really like that Sims gives her a little snark, and she comes right back

Sarah:

and says How old are you?

Mark:

How old are you? You don't know. You do not know.

Sarah:

And somebody will have to tell me if this is true or not. The impression I get is that the state funded health care in New Zealand offers 2 free rounds of IVF, but then after that, you have to pay for it.

Mark:

Yeah. That's what's in where would they go for that? River bottom? Rivers where would they go for that?

Sarah:

River bottom? River? Stone? River town?

Mark:

Stone town?

Sarah:

IVF town?

Mark:

Riverstone.

Sarah:

He seems like a good guy. He's been through some stuff.

Mark:

He does. Like a

Sarah:

good guy. He does. So maybe, he and Barbara have a future together. Maybe he can coach the team and they might actually win a game. He he How many seasons do you think they've been 0 wins to get 50?

Sarah:

3 or 4?

Mark:

3 or 4.

Sarah:

Yeah. I mean, it's not just a couple of seasons.

Mark:

It's a

Sarah:

long I'm surprised the players have stuck around.

Mark:

Well, so the football team I played for in high school, yes, I played high school football for grades 9 and 10. It was misdirected, misguided youth. It was a whole bunch of misses. Had not won a game in 10 years.

Sarah:

Wow. That's saying something when you've got new players every 4 years. Completely new players.

Mark:

We had not won a foot, a high school football game in 10 years. And in my 2nd year playing football, the senior boys team won a game.

Sarah:

Hey. It It was a big deal.

Mark:

It was like n c, double a, craziness

Sarah:

in town. It was a big deal.

Mark:

Literally insane.

Sarah:

Mhmm. I think the rugby team's gonna survive because missus Marlow is gonna keep making the g's rolls and keep people coming.

Mark:

Yeah. I think so.

Sarah:

But nobody's gonna drum. Nobody's taken up the drum. No. Because that's just bad bad juju.

Mark:

Let I would say that Len is also a great actor because he appears only completely safe and innocent or bat crazy. Yeah. Like, that is a wide range.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. It's a wide range.

Mark:

When he's dancing around playing the drum, oh.

Sarah:

I don't think we see Gloria again. We see her twice more. Oh, okay.

Mark:

I forgot about her.

Sarah:

She's at the Holly Oh, she's at the concert.

Mark:

Concert. And then I don't know what other episode she's

Sarah:

So she's the librarian for the rest of the season, and we see her a little bit.

Mark:

Yeah. Because the country music episode's the last episode of the season.

Sarah:

And the frog and cheetah will, as we've mentioned, reappear many times.

Mark:

Luckily, we don't have to deal with Roxy in the wet T shirt contest.

Sarah:

No. Well, she table dances there for free. Next week, season 2 episode 2, to die or not to die.

Mark:

This is where Jared gets culture.

Sarah:

Mhmm. And Obviously, there's some Shakespeare in

Mark:

Yep. This is community this is the 2nd season community theater episode.

Sarah:

Yes. Which every cozy mystery show must have.

Mark:

And then, the week after that on 28th will be catch of the day. Fish? It's the one where they find the hand in the fish trap Mhmm. At the beginning.

Sarah:

So If it wasn't to do with fishing, it would be another discussion of what should this episode actually be called. So that is twisted knickers. I mean, leather and lace season 2, episode 1. Wait. He really had to work for that one.

Sarah:

That would be a bird related episode.

Mark:

Yeah. You

Sarah:

gotta have the pun. Yeah. You know?

Mark:

I guess. I guess.

Sarah:

Well, I hope you enjoyed that. We did remember Jared's book is a time traveler, quantum physics in relation to companion

Mark:

planting. Stunning.

Sarah:

It's out there. Absolutely stunning. We'll post a link to the article to prove it. Yep. Bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Okay. We'll do your whole, and then we'll do the other thing I noticed here.

Sarah:

You really wanna say it that way?

Mark:

No. No. I'm gonna cut all this out, and you're gonna go as if you kept going.

Sarah:

I'm totally confused now with where we're picking up at.

Mark:

And there's the hole that I fell into.

Sarah:

After you've licked the book.

Mark:

Yes. Okay.