EP 114: Why Relationship-Building in Sales is More Powerful Than Any Pitch

In this episode of Prospecting on Purpose, Sara Murray breaks down why relationship-building in sales is the ultimate competitive advantage. It's not just about having the best product—it's about having the strongest connection with your clients. If you've ever lost a deal and blamed price, marketing, or product limitations, this episode will show you that the real issue might be a relationship-building gap.

What You'll Gain:

🔹 Bridge the GAP – A step-by-step method to elevate yourself alongside your clients, making sales conversations seamless. 🔹 The Emotional Bank Account – Learn how to deposit value into client relationships before making an ask. 🔹 Authentic Relationship-Building in Sales – Why trust and genuine connections are the secret to long-term business success. 🔹 Turn Prospects into Prized Clients – Master the art of creating relationships that outlast the sales cycle.

Key Takeaways You Don't Want to Miss:

🎯 The #1 reason deals are lost—and why it's NOT about price or product. 💡 How to use relationship-building in sales to create effortless business opportunities. 🚀 Real-life examples of small actions that lead to big wins in client relationships.

Want to sell smarter, not harder? Start mastering relationship-building in sales today.

For more insights, revisit: 🎙 Episode 4 – Why Icebreakers Work for Prospecting

Your relationships are your biggest sales asset. Tune in now and start winning on purpose! 🚀

Connect with Sara https://www.saramurray.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saramurraysales LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saramurraysales/

#ProspectingOnPurpose #RelationshipBuilding #SalesMindset #AuthenticSelling #ClientRelationships #EmotionalBankAccount #SalesStrategy #BusinessGrowth #SalesLeadership

What is Prospecting on Purpose® with Sara Murray?

Prospecting on Purpose is Forbes meets Saturday Night Live - it’s *the* show for everything prospecting, sales, business, and mindset.

As business grows more complex, the biggest opportunities emerge when we learn beyond our own industries. From hospitality and design to technology and travel, this is where professionals come together to exchange ideas, uncover new perspectives, and prospect for business with creativity, authenticity, and intention.

Hosted by Sara Murray, a heart-centric sales champion, each episode helps you raise both your vibes and your game. Sara's playbook is simple - ABAV: Always Be Adding Value. Embrace your authentic self, lean into your unique strengths, and sell the outcome instead of the product or service.

Join Sara each week as she sits down with world-class thought leaders to unpack today's business strategies, mindset shifts, and relationship-driven approaches to growth, giving you practical ideas you can put into action right away.

Connect with Sara: www.saramurray.com IG: @saramurraysales LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/

in sales at the end of the day

the competition often isn't the competitive product

but the relationship that the competitor salesperson

has with our ideal clients

you're listening to prospecting on purpose

where we discuss all things prospecting

sales business and mindset

I'm your host Sara Murray

a sales champion who's here to show you that

you can be a shark in business

and still lead with intentionality and authenticity

tune in each week

as we dive into methods to connect with clients

communicate with confidence and close the deal

welcome to prospecting on purpose

today's episode is going to cover the

art of building relationships

specific to our careers and our work efforts

there are two reasons that this is my favorite topic

the first is pretty simple

I enjoy the relationships that I have with people

I feel so fortunate

and blessed to be able to maintain long

lasting connections with friends and clients

and also build new ones

I personally feel that it's been my superpower

and the success of my career

but most importantly

it adds tremendous joy and richness to my life

and the second reason in a sales function

the ability to quickly build and maintain relationships

is the ultimate skill

and it's a soft skill so

it's hard to metric and measure

the ability to create these impactful relationships

and since we can't always see

the dollars behind these different relationships

that we formed in our careers

sometimes leaders struggle to see

the value in that skill set

in sales at the end of the day

The competition often isn't the competitive product

but the relationship that the competitor

salesperson has with our ideal clients

this is a neglected area and the reason it's neglected

is that it often shows up as a problem

at the end of the sale cycle

when we're about to lose it

or we do lose the sale

and then we start trying to beat on price

we're nickel and diming

we're trying to convince the client to buy

and it's coming from a place of desperation

or we're complaining about marketing

or we're blaming the competition's ability to do X

when our product only does y

and sure sure

sure sure

it can be all of those things

but often it's not a sales problem

it's not a marketing problem

it's not a pricing problem

it's not a product problem

it's a prospecting and relationship problem

which is why we're talking about it today

if we can master

the art of authentic relationship building

and establish that as a foundation

for our business efforts

then the business exchange becomes more organic

and way more seamless obviously

we have many different types of relationships

in our lives romantic

familial friendships

and the relationship that we have with ourselves

when it comes to work

we have relationships with our colleagues and our peers

our managers in our senior leadership

the people that we manage

our business partners

our vendors and of course our clients

relationships

are the most important part of driving business forward

and I don't think it's talked enough about that much

so we're gonna talk about it today

we're gonna go through a couple of different examples

from the lens of a salesperson

really in any role if we wanna get things done

sometimes

it's having a relationship with the right people

we're spearheading a project

We need buy in from various departments

We need that relationship with the other departments

to green light and exploit the project

If we want a promotion, obviously

we have to have that foundational

relationship with our direct boss

But often their boss has to be on board

they may survey our peers

and our direct reports for feedback on our performance

we better hope those relationships are solid

quick example here

I've had some very technical rules with complex product

complex installations and things could go wrong

because it was complicated and I am not an engineer

I would probably score myself

like a 6 out of 10 on the technical savvy scale

but because I know how to build relationships

I almost always knew

the right parties to bring together

to talk to each other to find the solution

sometimes it would feel like I wasn't doing anything

besides holding the phone up on speaker phone

to the folks in the room

but there's tremendous value in knowing who to call

and then knowing that they'll answer

to help you to drive that problem to a resolution

and ideally I'm expressing gratitude

so that the mutually beneficial

part of this relationship

skillset is covered

and that they'll answer the phone for me

next time I call for help

it's hard to measure that when we're in the moment

or it's difficult to see that

solving that problem that day

LED to six other projects

or an exclusive contract with that client

sometimes how we handle problems is a great

opportunity to build relationships

and put a deposit in a client's emotional bank account

we'll talk about that more in a minute

so how do we do this how do we build relationships

well from our sales lens

I call it bridging the gap

gap between us, the sellers, and the customer

our price client one of the most

common things I see is that we put our high profile

clients or prospects up on this pedestal right

maybe there's a client we really wanna work with

because of their market share

or their position in the industry

maybe it's the owner or an executive of a company

we're already doing business with

but not at the senior leadership level

maybe it's someone who's in a high visibility position

or they're the lead on a major project that we want

our product or service to be sold into

whoever that client is

we put them up on this pedestal and that is okay

it is important to respect and admire our client

but when I say bridge the gap

the gap is between us on the ground

and our client up on this pedestal

and this is really important to bridge that gap

we are not taking our client off of the pedestal

but we're putting ourselves up on it with them

so, gap is an acronym before we get into it

I wanna talk about quick baseline here

We need a foundation of values

who we are what we stand for

how we show up in the world

and then confidence because if we have that confidence

that we are gonna add value to our client

then getting up on that pedestal is gonna be way easier

so values confidence

check check

were solid with ourselves

let's get into the sacronym

G stands for genuine interest

we have to be curious and interested in others

if we're working to form a new relationship

it requires us to be more interested in the other

person as opposed to talking about ourselves

or pushing our own agenda forward

in a sales roll that can be present

of course that's the goal

but for this first step let's remove our agendas

remove our product from our minds

and just get genuinely curious about other people

I like to use easy icebreakers for this one

if you haven't listened to Episode 4

Why do icebreakers work for prospecting

There are a lot of good examples there

and these can be really easy questions

Where did you grow up

Do you have any vacations coming up

How do you like living in Las Vegas

Do you have any kids it doesn't have to be hard

and the feedback that I've heard is that

it's helpful in all areas of life

one of my friends told me that

she's been using it in her dating app outreach

another person told me

that

they've incorporated some of those into their hiring

question as a way to create quick connection

before the interview day easy

simple ways to establish connection

and we're doing it by expressing genuine interest

and it's important to note here

that the genuine piece must be present

it's so easy to tell when it's not

so make sure that you're connecting on something

that you're truly interested in

learning about the other person

because then

that genuineness is gonna shine through in

the interaction and if this thought is intimidating

then I would encourage you to practice

practice at the grocery store

practice with your family and friends

practice in low stake environments

and see how easy it is to quickly connect with others

so genuine interest is getting us to that pedestal

next up a stands for authentic relationship building

there are two parts to this

the first part is to just be cool

and when I say be cool I'm not talking about

having a verified Instagram account

or you're wearing the latest fashion

be cool means being your authentic self

and be someone who leaves people feeling energized

versus drained if we go up to someone

and we just start talking about our product

we're not expressing any interest

we're not making any

effort in building the relationship

we are leaving the other person drained

so that's not what we wanna do

Please be cool leave people feeling energized

and do it by being yourself right

authenticity is important

The second part of authentic relationship building is

understanding

and making deposits in the other person's

emotional bank account

The emotional bank account is

essentially a system of emotional deposits

and withdrawals in relationship building

and if we're approaching a new client

and we can get some quick social equity in

that's gonna give you a quick elevator

right up to that pedestal

So, how do we do this, there are a lot of different ways

I'll give you a couple personal examples

My grandpa in the suburbs of Los Angeles

had an avocado tree at his house

and during avocado season

I would bring avocados to everyone

I give them to the parking attendant at my office

I'd walk around the office

and drop one off at people's desks

I packed them in a carry on bag

and take them through TSA

on business trips California avocados

I package them in a branded gift bag

and I'd bring them to high profile meetings

and give them to my clients

it cost me no money

it took the tiniest amount of effort

but that small amount of effort would pay off ten fold

hundred fold in my work efforts

I'm running late to a meeting

that ballet guys gonna grab my car first

because I took the time to learn his name

share an avocado when I thought about it

in my earlier example of making calls

and connecting the right people

to solve a client's problem

I probably dropped an avocado off of their desk

in the past I have a deposit in my colleagues

emotional bank account

when I need to make a withdrawal

like calling and asking for help and solving a problem

it makes it a lot easier for me to ask for help

and the reason it's easier

is that

it's coming from a point of an emotional relationship

connection as opposed to my role is a salesperson

and

your role is to help me solve this client's problem

no we have to have a mutually beneficial relationship

and that person helping me

now has a deposit in my emotional bank account

this is how we build relationships

and I know it feels

odd and transactional to break it down this way

but the art of building relationships

can be a complex topic

and it's difficult to give tactical examples

so I'm trying to give some real and tactical examples

here

the emotional bank account is

how you add value to your client

before you start asking for things

we jump on that pedestal and we try

to make withdrawals from our clients bank account

we're withdrawing from an empty bank account

there has to be equity in the bank

before we can take things out of it

obviously this has to come from a place of authenticity

though

I'm not dropping off an avocado at someone's desk

because I think one day

I might need to call them for a favor

but it's a lot easier to make the ask

if that foundation's there

and there are a lot of ways to do this

that don't involve an avocado tree

we see our client won an award or wrote an article

how easy free

and thoughtful is it to just send them a quick email

hey I read this article

I thought it was great

here's my two takeaways I got from it

boom easy

I recently had a listener send me a really nice

note on LinkedIn

with some of her takeaways from the podcast

and it was so sweet and there wasn't a hidden agenda

it was just a genuine little thank you note

but her product

is absolutely something I could use in the future

or that my clients might need

but she's on my radar

because she put a deposit in my emotional bank account

without asking for anything in return

how many of us get LinkedIn messages

trying to sell us stuff everyone

how come we use the emotional bank account

in our prospecting efforts

to add value to a prospect

without asking for anything in return other quick

easy examples to start this

emotional bank account deposit

I like to share books that I've read

podcast recipes hiking trails

whatever whatever we're interested in

we express genuine interest in others

to find those shared connection points

then creating emotional bank account deposits

becomes really easy and it's fun

and then the P&R bridging the gap

stands for prize clients

or essentially price relationships

once you do the first two steps

this part becomes very

very easy if we skip the first two steps

we'll never get ourselves on that pedestal

because there's no relationship

there's always gonna be a disconnect

and we're going to lose to the people who do

make it up on that pedestal

so a short example in bridging the gap

and getting all three of those steps

I've shared that I used to sell fire pits

and one day I'm at a trade show

North Carolina and a man walks by

and his badge had the name of a brewery in Los Angeles

that was by my house

so I stopped him and I asked him if it was his brewery

and he told me that he

sold it last year to Annhauser Bush

so obviously I gave him a high five

told him congratulations

and then the first thing I said was well

I'm so happy for you

but I really hope that they keep the hearts of palm

ceviche dish because I'm a vegetarian

and that's one of my favorite things

and he starts getting excited and says

that's my recipe I'm a vegetarian too

so we're nerding out at this point

and I asked him well

what are you gonna do with all that

and house or Bush money and he told me

he was gonna open five new restaurants in LA

and I replied with ah

have you considered fire elements for your restaurants

and now we're in the booth

and now we're talking business

that whole exchange took about three minutes

and he wasn't gonna stop by my booth

he was power walking down the aisle

but I grabbed him from the aisle

by expressing genuine interest in him

and then his business

and then the authentic relationship building

coming in next

I'm not fast forwarding in a product features

instead

we're high fiving or bonding over our vegetarianism

and complimented his recipe

you know

those are all deposits in his emotional bank account

and then with that genuine interest

I asked him what was next for him

and lo and behold here comes the business opportunity

5 new restaurants at that point

it would be weird to

not start talking about my business

and offer him fire features

but because I put myself up there

on this pedestal with him

by just being genuine and being myself

now the business part becomes so natural

that's what I mean when I say organic and seamless

it becomes really easy to get to the quote unquote

ask when that foundational relationship is there

and it doesn't have to take long

and we get to do it by being ourselves

it's a small silly example

but it's a good one because at most trade shows

we just jump right in and regurgitating product backs

without any relationship established

or understanding of the person's needs

so to recap the art of relationship building

starts with that solid foundation

with ourselves

understanding our values and what we stand for

and then confidence that we have something to offer

the other person those two things need to be in place

and it's a constant work in progress

but

if we have that working relationship with ourselves

it's gonna make it a lot easier to bridge the gap

and align ourselves with our clients

so bridging that gap requires genuine interest

authentic relationship building

which leads to price clients

there

are so many different areas that we can expand on

on the importance of relationship throughout this show

there are some real skills here

and it's not always obvious when they're absent

but it's really obvious when it's present

leaders

and sellers are able to communicate more effectively

and influence the outcome

if they have the ability to build relationships

our competition is not our competing product

or service our competition is

the relationship that the competitor

salesperson has with our clients

set the heart of everything we do

and if we can intentionally master this

it's going to serve us in every area of life

and especially how we navigate through our careers

I love this topic

I think the relationship is such a crucial piece

I love building new relationships

if you've been listening to the show

you know the guest that we've been talking to

it's been fantastic

to build relationships with that caliber of people

and the way I've been able to build those relationships

is by following this process

bridging the gap

and getting myself on the pedestal with them

so that wraps up today's episode

we're going to get into this topic in more detail

if you'd like to stay up to date on that

with the podcast

and other fun things launching this year

please sign up to be notified via email

at connect.Saramurray.com

I'll include it in the show notes

but it's connect.Saramurray.com

if you enjoyed the episode

please drop a little emotional bank account

deposit my way by subscribing

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I appreciate it so much next week's episode

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for more info on me or if you'd like to work together

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I'm usually hanging out at Saramurraysales

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