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We’re Brad & Monnica Manuel - we've been married for 28 years and business partners a little longer than that.
Every Sunday morning, we press record on a conversation rooted in reflection. Over coffee and a vinyl record, we talk through the week we just lived: what challenged us, what taught us, and what tuned us along the way.
From marriage and mindset to leadership, resilience, and personal growth, these are honest conversations about being human through the lens of Gen X, family, work, and life in transition - one record, one reflection, one transmission at a time.
🎧 New Transmissions every Sunday morning
☕ Stories • Soundtracks • Marriage • Leadership • Self-Discovery • Coaching • Generation X
I was still buzzing.
Brad:And you were still buzzing about the entire week and what you and your team were able to produce.
Monnica:Oh my gosh. I'd literally my I have goosebumps. Welcome back to the manual transmission.
Brad:We are Brad and Monica Manuel. We've spent nearly three decades building life together.
Monnica:And once a week, we attempt to slow things down, drink a cup of coffee, listen to a vinyl. These are conversations we would have anyway, but I think hitting record makes you be a little more intentional about it.
Brad:Honest.
Monnica:Yeah. And and I've said this to you. I don't care if anybody ever listens to this thing. Like, it's just a, it brings intentionality to my connection with you. And, obviously, we're coming at it from different angles.
Monnica:I know you have your own reasons, but one of the things I get out of it is that there's a there's a structure and an intentionality to how you and I connect and debrief.
Brad:This space that we've created, this is where we get to process out our week and really get caught up.
Monnica:Yeah. That quiet isn't empty. It's it's that catching up. So if you're tuning back in, thank you, and welcome back.
Brad:We're recording this on Saturday, February 7, the day before the Super Bowl.
Monnica:I just got home from a full week in Vegas for work. And I'll say, going from a full week in the East Coast time zone to a full week in the Pacific time zone is not that's challenging. My body was like, what is happening?
Brad:And what did you notice?
Monnica:Oh, just sleep is challenging.
Brad:What I what I noticed is that you were in Vegas and you were in bed by, like, 10:00 at night.
Monnica:Yeah. I was like no. I I actually took a lot of crap for that. I people were going out after the day was done and having drinks, and I just Irish goodbye multiple times.
Brad:Yeah. You're Irish.
Monnica:You know, there's an art to the Irish goodbye. You just find your moment and just leave. You just go. You hear about it the next day when people realize it. But You're
Brad:like, what happened to you?
Monnica:It worked for me. I just disappeared.
Brad:I think that it's an effective tool.
Monnica:And I leaned into it this week.
Brad:You got back
Monnica:I got back late late And, Thursday boy, was I worthless yesterday. I made a point, and I gave my self permission. It was a little bit difficult. But I, like
Brad:Slept in.
Monnica:Slept in. I well, even yesterday. Like, I I was technically working yesterday, and I was definitely, like, tuned in and checking in and and working on stuff. But I was, like, napping throughout the day. It was great.
Brad:Good for you.
Monnica:I needed it. I was pretty spent.
Brad:Alright. High low last week. What was the high part of your week in Vegas?
Monnica:Oh, that's easy. There were lots of highs, but the high part, you know how when you you take a risk and it's like, there is no neutral outcome. It is either gonna be awesome or it's gonna be real bad. Took one of those risks. Yeah.
Monnica:And I
Brad:You're in Vegas.
Monnica:Yeah. I mean, I suppose when in Vegas. So months ago, I was getting to know my team a little bit better, And I realized that I had these two people on my team who had both spent time in New York, had Broadway ambitions. They were theater kids. You wouldn't know it just by interacting with them at work, but I learned this about them and I had this idea.
Monnica:We're getting ready to do this big host this massive conference. It's a big deal. It's like the event of the year. There's a lot of pressure on it. I was really nervous about it, and I was like, hey.
Monnica:This is wildly different. It's so out of context. Nobody's expecting it. Let's make it a secret, but let's do a, like, a Broadway style production for this show. You two bring what you what you are telling me you have.
Monnica:Like, so there was a bit of a like, are they as good as they say I they think they are, but let's do the risk. So they did, and boy, did they. They leaned into it. So I realized my boss didn't know I was gonna be doing this. That morning, I said, hey, listen.
Monnica:I've taken a bit of a flyer here. It is either gonna be spectacular, and you're gonna be so glad I did, or you might wanna fire me. So if you choose to fire me at the end of this day, it's been good. Been nice working with you. I get it.
Monnica:There's no neutral outcome to this risk I've taken, and I just want you to know. And to his credit, he's like, I love it. Let's I don't know what you're talking about, but okay. And oh my gosh. It was whatever I expected, and I had high expectations.
Monnica:It was at least 10 orders of magnitude better than I could have expected. It was phenomenal. Also, you ought to remember, I work in a very male dominated industry. Like, if you put yourself out there, they are not gonna be shy about ripping you to shreds. Like, that's just the fact.
Monnica:I knew this.
Brad:So you lead with a show tune.
Monnica:So I decided to do a show tune.
Brad:And they Keeping me updated.
Monnica:You knew I was nervous about this.
Brad:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew you were nervous about that. I also knew that you had a full night in front of you even after that because that's when you were doing the hot ones challenge.
Monnica:Oh, yeah.
Brad:So you were conducting this panel and facilitating this session with eight leaders in the organization while you're eating hot wings.
Monnica:I had also brought in this operations manager who earlier in the year when I was out in the field, had asked him. I found out that he was a theater kid and he had written this rap.
Brad:So that was that night too?
Monnica:That was that night too. So these there were these three big components that could go either way. And he he performed this rap and they the crowd went wild. They loved it. So they took from, like, Beauty and the Beast, Be Our Guest, and they wrote all these custom lyrics to it.
Monnica:And they did the the choreography was phenomenal and they had, like, this whole visual thing that went with it. It was incredible, and the crowd went wild. And it set the tone for the whole week. Standing ovation, people were just elated.
Brad:Incredible. It
Monnica:so everyone's sitting down eating dinner at 06:30. They're eating, they're talking, they're arriving, they're seeing each other. It's the only time of year where everybody's in the same place. And then at 07:10, we dim the lights.
Brad:The our
Monnica:And they're like, is happening? We've never done anything even remotely close to this. And we've got partners from around the organization in. We've got like my boss's boss and his boss. They're in the room and they have no idea this is coming.
Monnica:And they did it full out and oh my gosh. It was I have I literally my I have goosebumps. That was my that was my high.
Brad:That's awesome. Well, my high was the next morning. You called me, and in your grogginess kind of hungover
Monnica:I wasn't actually hungover. I was just hungover from the stimulation.
Brad:That's right. Yeah. That's right. It was, you were definitely hungover from the excitement and the the just killing it, the victory of the the night before, the day before.
Monnica:In fact, I think I was in bed by, like, 10:30.
Brad:Right. But you were telling me you were reliving the experience, and you were absolutely buzzing.
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:You were so excited.
Monnica:Well, my team did it all. They I gave them permission to do it, but they did it. They I could not be more proud of them. I I'm blown away by them. I'm impressed by them.
Monnica:I'm grateful to them. I just they are incredible people.
Brad:Cool. So what was your low?
Monnica:So my low let's see. You know, here's what we've been talking for several episodes about noticing. Mhmm. Even in all of that. Like, and it just was way better than I could have possibly dared to hope for.
Monnica:I still found myself doubting myself. I still found myself with this imposter syndrome. It's crazy how pervasive that sucker is. That inner critic was just trying to protect me, but such a hag she is, that inner critic. Anyway, I I was I managed it, I think, but it was definitely present.
Monnica:And so that and then I while it is true that I have cultivated the skill over you know, I've been in jobs that require me to act like an extrovert for over twenty five years. So I have the skill at my disposal. I can flip that switch. I can act like an extrovert all day long. But boy, does it cost me something.
Monnica:Like, am an introvert to the core, and I would much rather just have quiet and be alone with a book or, you know, close friends that I don't have to put on any kind of show for. I would just anyway. So I my stress levels were just off the charts this week.
Brad:It's just a tax. You know you have to pay.
Monnica:I knew that this weekend I was gonna be pretty much worthless. I was gonna need to recover this weekend. Like, just to give you
Brad:evidence by last night and this morning.
Monnica:I just yeah. You're like, okay. Nighty night.
Brad:See you later. I'll see you when you wake up.
Monnica:Well, so, like, in in the course of a normal week, if I have really stressful day, my aura ring will show that I was in stress mode for like three or four hours. But every day this week was between the lowest day I had was six. Most days were eight to ten and a half hours of stress. Physiologically showing signs of stress. And it's not that I was having, like, anxiety.
Monnica:I was happy, super happy. But that engagement, to have to act like an extrovert for that many hours is, it takes a toll. So that was probably my low part.
Brad:That makes sense.
Monnica:How about you? What was your low?
Brad:We have been so tied at the hip for almost thirty years doing work and life together. I felt like a parent that didn't get to see his kids' performance. Oh. So on on one hand, it was awesome to have, like, Tuesday morning and hearing how well it went and just knowing that you were in your element and killing it. On the other hand, it was like, oh, I didn't get to see it.
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:So that was a low.
Monnica:I'm sorry. It was cool to be able to call home and tell you about it.
Brad:It's interesting. I was in the car this week running around, and I was listening to one a with Jen White, and she was interviewing a couple of doctors regarding how our society has approached women and pain and the stigma that y'all have babies. You can handle the pain. You don't need medicine. Specifically, they were talking about in medicine for years, it was taught that women don't feel pain in the cervix because it doesn't have nerve endings.
Monnica:Ask any woman. They'll immediately disabuse you of that stupid notion.
Brad:And and and now, obviously, they they understand this. But of the three major nerves that are innervated in the cervix, one is the vagus nerve.
Monnica:Wow. Yeah. And the vagus nerve controls your entire nervous system, your parasympathetic and your sympathetic response. So it's a direct whole body
Brad:Right.
Monnica:Whole brain response to to stimulus. So the thought the thought that women don't have nerve endings or pain receptors in their cervix is crazy. And the fact that they didn't you tell me, like, they didn't even start studying this until, like, 1983? I mean, that just goes to show you we've just not valued systemically, monetarily in our society, the contributions that women make. Not to pile on, but there's this gene, what is it, the m r c one or m c r one, I forget.
Brad:Something like that. Yep.
Monnica:That redheads have that causes them to be more tolerant to anesthesia. So for example, it takes fifteen to twenty five percent more if you have this gene. And more more than just redheads have the gene, but red hair doesn't mean you necessarily have it, but it's a good indication you probably have it. So I need 15 to 25% more anesthesia to have the same effect.
Brad:Gotcha.
Monnica:I also have a much higher tolerance for pain than than, like, the average human. I don't just genetically speaking. So I'll tell you a real real life anecdote to support that. I had my tubes tied the morning after I had Caleb, which was a bad choice in hindsight. But just anyway, it would have been better to just have Caleb be done with it and then have you get a vasectomy.
Monnica:That would have been the better choice.
Brad:In retrospect, that's what I would have done.
Monnica:Totally. But We just I thought, well, I'm here. Let's just take care of it.
Brad:And you were adamant.
Monnica:You were done. Y'all know. I was definitely done. We had a whole argument about it. I said, look.
Monnica:If you wanted four kids, you should have married somebody different. Sorry, dude. I am sorry.
Brad:Well, it's Utah. You could have just let me had another wife.
Monnica:I suppose I could have. That would have been an option. We didn't make that particular choice, I suppose that I don't know. But anyway, this was terrible, but they decided to just leave the spinal catheter in my spine overnight.
Brad:Mhmm.
Monnica:So the next morning, I had the anesthesiologist sitting at my head while they did the surgery, and I'm telling him, hey. Ouch. I can feel them cutting me open. And he's like, well, does that hurt, or is it just pressure? Because you'll feel pressure.
Monnica:I'm like, no. It hurts. And so I feel the cold medicine go down the tube and into my I can feel it go down into my spine, and it helped a little bit. Know, what would have been better and Angelica, our oldest, she did this, and I she's my hero. She just gave birth without any pain medication.
Monnica:That was heroic.
Brad:That is that is a next level
Monnica:Watching her do that was
Brad:Pain management.
Monnica:Formative for me. Being with her while she gave birth at home with no pain medication was it's a it's a core memory for me that I'm proud I got to be part of and proud of her for doing it. It was incredible to watch.
Brad:It was a cool experience. Why did we talk about
Monnica:Well, I think we were just talking about pain tolerance and What? You know where it showed up in that week, this this concept you're talking about? It's actually kinda funny. I hosted a version of Hot Ones, which So I was I played the role of Sean Evans. That's funny.
Monnica:And I was really nervous going in. I mean, work in a male dominated space. It's just That's just how the space is. And so here I am. I'm hosting Hot Ones live.
Monnica:I've never done anything like that before, and I'm really nervous. Not sure how this is gonna go, but I have this crazy mentality, whatever it is, I'll figure it out. I'll be okay. So I just go into it, like, headlong, probably a little bit foolishly, never having practiced or knowing how this is gonna go, doing it in front of hundreds of people for the first time. I've got these eight leaders on stage.
Monnica:They're nervous, of course, as one would be to do this in front of the the people that they lead, they're feeling vulnerable. I think it they basically each had to speak twice.
Brad:Mhmm. But while they're eating these
Monnica:hot these hot wings. I've gotta speak throughout the whole thing, and I've never done this before, and I'm going, oh gosh. So I was like, I can't drink any milk or water. I can't react, and I
Brad:have to know that he does whatever they do in the show? If they drink milk, he drinks milk.
Monnica:Oh, well, that would have been nice.
Brad:That would have been good to know
Monnica:when thought that. But, no, I was like, I'm not touching it, And I didn't. I didn't touch my milk. I didn't drink any water. And I and I almost made it through with no reaction.
Monnica:But when we got to Da Bomb, that the one that gets everyone, I coughed a little bit because it wow. That one. Anyway, point is, I think what came into play in this thing is that I my tolerance for pain showed up in this thing because I did everything they did and I had to talk throughout the whole thing. And I now I was sweating, physically sweating a lot. Weren't you?
Monnica:I was feeling all the things they were feeling, but I wasn't saying anything about it. So so many people came up to me throughout the week, they're like, how did you do that? Were you actually doing it, or did you have fake hot they're like, no. I was doing it. Yeah.
Monnica:I felt all the things they were feeling. I just didn't respond the way they responded. So anyway, it was it was fun.
Brad:So I'm kinda worried that you are actually reinforcing this stigma that women are just
Monnica:They're not feeling it.
Brad:They're they can handle it better than men.
Monnica:Well, they can, but that doesn't mean they should. You know, and I in fact, when you brought up this concept to me this morning, I went and played you this thing that my sister sent me. It's this man talking into the camera that she sent me. Yeah. She's figured out how to do it because she's had to.
Monnica:But that doesn't mean that she should have to. Like, I don't want yes. I know how to armor up and put on whatever I need to put on. I'm an introvert. I'll put on the extrovert skills and people won't know I'm an introvert.
Monnica:But that doesn't mean that I wanna have to do that.
Brad:Well, we had talked last week about what we were going to do this week in terms of a vinyl. I thought about Vegas, and I thought about Lady Gaga, and I thought that probably makes sense. When I hear mayhem, I'm thinking, ugh, is this just gonna be noise that I don't wanna listen to? But it wasn't like that.
Monnica:That's what you think you expect when you see a title like mayhem.
Brad:Yep. I was hesitant, but I will say I listened to it the first round, and I was I felt like I was largely unimpressed.
Monnica:I think that's a fair, critique, by the way.
Brad:Killah stood out to me. And as I researched that a little bit, I realized the lyrics are
Monnica:a
Brad:but also the reason I think why it stood out to me was it has kind of that Nine
Monnica:feel. It blends elements of, like, this alternative rock, dark techno, and synth. Also, would say when a woman does something like that. Mhmm. Not to bring gender into it, but, like, Nine Inch Inch Nails does something edgy and, almost, like, morbid.
Brad:Mhmm.
Monnica:It's different than when a woman does it.
Brad:I hear you. I agree. So all that said, I had this first impression of the album. I listened to it again this morning, and it played more in the background. I thought it was a lot better.
Brad:I wasn't so focused on listening to the lyrics, but I was listening to the actual music, and I thought it was better. We thought one of the songs was a little Gwen Stefani ish.
Monnica:Yeah. One of her songs. I don't know which song it was, but I was like, oh, that intro felt like it was Gwen Stefani.
Brad:Like, is it? Hollowback Girl?
Monnica:Shit is bananas.
Brad:It's it's a good album. Killah is it was written and produced jointly by Gaga, Andrew Watt, Circuit, and Gasolfehlstein.
Monnica:You know what I think about when I think about her? Stephanie.
Brad:Mhmm.
Monnica:I I think about the work she put in. There was a a tribute to, to Julie Andrews that she did, And she wanted to do right by her. And so she worked eight hours a day for months to get it right, to do this acapella rendition of of Julie Andrews songs. And she brought her her vocal capabilities and her discipline and work ethic to this performance, and you could see it. It was incredible.
Monnica:I think of that. I think of her as a young woman doing these gigs in these Manhattan bars and just doing the work and writing music and bringing her instrument. I think of the the way she wrote Shallow in that movie
Brad:With Bradley Cooper.
Monnica:Bradley Cooper. I think of the way that she, showed up for the opening ceremonies in Paris. I think of the way that she wrote the song for Maverick. Like, I just think of her as a as a businesswoman, as a disciplined craftsman with an incredible instrument that has just, like, done the work. The day in and day out facing down rejection, doing the things you don't feel like, showing up and putting in the work, whether you feel like it or not.
Monnica:That's what I respect and see when I hear that an album like that.
Brad:I agree. What I think is really cool as you just said that is that when you do that time and time again and what Lady Gaga has done is developed a reputation and credibility to where when she wants to do a project, she gets to do it with whoever she wants.
Monnica:Yes. Like, she just rerecorded mister Rogers' Neighborhood. It's a lovely day in the neighborhood, and it was spectacular. She says I wanna do that. And everyone's like, alright.
Monnica:It's gonna be great. I know it is because of what she'll bring to it. Right. I put her and Taylor Swift in this category where they are just savvy businesswomen who have taken a talent that they have, and they've added to it incredible work ethic and discipline, and they've made something of it. And I'm just so blown away by it.
Monnica:So yes, I agree with you. Listening to Mayhem this morning, it's just kinda like, yeah, this is, you know, whatever. They produced this output for the industry machine, But underneath there is this incredible force of a woman.
Brad:Agreed. Go, Stephanie.
Monnica:Go, Taylor.
Brad:So let me ask this. What version of you was required last week?
Monnica:I had to be on. I mean, when you're talking sixteen, eighteen hour days, when you're on that whole time, if you're gonna make it through the week, you gotta know what you need. And for me, I needed to be able to just Irish goodbye and go back to my room. And I wasn't looking for more social interaction because that wouldn't recharge my batteries. Some people that is recharging to them.
Monnica:It is not for me. So I needed to just go be alone. But when I got home Thursday night late, as evidenced by the fact that I basically just melted into a blob Friday and Saturday, you know, up until right here, like I just I just needed to completely like go into a gelatinous state of like, I was like, hey, does anybody need anything from me right now? Cool. K.
Monnica:Peace out. I just like vegged.
Brad:Okay. So what do you think your nervous system needs now?
Monnica:I think, yeah. So now it's like, okay. What have I been neglecting at home that I need to take care of? What do I need to mentally prepare for what's next? What challenges ahead of me next?
Monnica:And there are some big ones ahead of me next. It's more just like regrouping, making sure I have the tools I need. I've thought through the plans. I've got my contingencies. I mean, we've talked about it before.
Monnica:Like, everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. Right?
Brad:And and
Monnica:no plan survives first contact with the enemy. All the thing. We man makes plans and God laughs. Like, these are all sayings for a reason. But before I step in to the arena, I need to, like, sort myself out.
Monnica:And so that's what I do on the weekends.
Brad:What does that entail?
Monnica:Usually, it looks like doing some housework, doing some laundry. Those are cathartic. I'm I'm paying bills. I'm sorting sorting myself out. It's probably unpacking and repacking a suitcase a lot of the time.
Brad:Fortunately, you don't have to repack right now.
Monnica:I got two weeks at home, and I'm so grateful for that.
Brad:So maybe the mayhem isn't the week that you just experienced. Mayhem is what happens whenever we're actually not able to do this.
Monnica:If you don't process it.
Brad:If we're not able to process it, then week to week, it's this compounding effect that is gonna produce mayhem.
Monnica:After a week like this, I know I'm gonna have to process it. I'm gonna you and I are gonna talk about it. I'm gonna have to, like, recoup. I'm gonna have to take my lessons from it. Look at my critiques of myself that I had because I you know I had them.
Monnica:I'm gonna have to go, alright. Well, yeah, I would have done that differently. I blew it here. I wish I had had shown up this way. I'm gonna have to take all that, take the lessons from it, integrate it, and then process it moving forward.
Monnica:If I don't, I'll just wear down. So but you had asked me, and that's a great segue to this question. You asked me like, well, but then who do you become when the performance is over and you come back home? And and we had this conversation. It's like, look, I wanna be able to take that armor off.
Monnica:Yeah. I know how to put it on. I wanna be able to come home and be cared for, you know, have weaknesses. We've said it many times. I forget who originally gets credit for saying it, but we don't learn when we experience things.
Monnica:We learn when we reflect on what we've just experienced.
Brad:John Dewey.
Monnica:John Dewey. I knew you'd have it at the ready. You're so
Brad:That reminds me of very popular Jon Cabot Zinn quote that we've kinda leaned on, and it makes so much sense.
Monnica:And I used it multiple times this week, by the way.
Brad:Really?
Monnica:Yeah. I did.
Brad:It says, you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Monnica:I felt like I was riding those waves this week. Absolutely. I would I would ride them, and then they would dump me out, and I'd have to, like, resurface, catch my breath, and paddle like hell to catch the next one, And then I'd ride that one. I feel like I did that over and over again this week.
Brad:Otherwise, you just get powerful.
Monnica:Otherwise, you just get in the freaking the undercurrent. It's it's like, it's more powerful than you. We just all accept that. Okay. It's gonna knock you off your board.
Monnica:That's part of it. Get up. Get up and paddle like hell, and then get back on your board and ride another one. It's okay.
Brad:Get on your bikes and ride.
Monnica:Okay. So, anyway, this has been the manual transmission.
Brad:Thanks for sitting with us.
Monnica:Have a great week.
Brad:Have a great week.