You Can Mentor: A Christian Mentoring Podcast

Identity-Based vs. Skill-Based Mentoring

“Just like a good tool doesn’t make you a handy man. Knowing skills alone doesn’t fulfill your mentee’s potential” 

Skill-based mentoring usually goes like this: 
  • Think of things you think your mentee should know
    • Shake a hand, tie a tie, resume, etc…
  • Teach them these things
  • Hope they use them to reach their full-potential
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Skill-based mentoring is good, but I believe it is secondary to Identity-based mentoring

Skills are no good if you’re mentee believes:
  • They lack intelligence or can't succeed
  • They will never amount to anything
  • They lack confidence, hope or have no self-value
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Let’s start with identity-based mentoring first.
  • Help them see themselves how God sees them. 
  • Encourage, build up, & champion your mentee
  • Be the most encouraging person in the world
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When they believe this, they will have intrinsic motivation to learn the skills. They will be hungry to become all that they can be because they believe in themselves and have someone believing in them. 

Now that they believe they have worth and are capable of success, introduce the skills. 

First identity. Then skills.

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Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.


Creators & Guests

Host
Zachary Garza
Founder of Forerunner Mentoring & You Can Mentor // Father to the Fatherless // Author

What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Mentoring Podcast?

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community.

We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.

Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.

Zach:

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples. Learn more at you can mentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Mentors, how's it going today? Zach Garza with the You Can Mentor podcast coming to you with the next mentoring minute.

Zach:

We hope that these short little podcasts help you become the best mentor you could possibly be in the name of Jesus. Today, we're gonna talk about identity based versus skill based mentoring. And, kick start us off, I have a little story. So if anyone, has heard this story before, I apologize, but I am not a handyman. In fact, if something goes wrong at my house, it's my wife's joy, and it's her job to fix it.

Zach:

I don't know how to use a screwdriver, hardly know what a hammer does. I mean, I'm just completely worthless when it comes to being a handyman. However, one day, I was over at my mom's house, and I saw my mom had somehow acquired this brand new drill. I mean, this thing was still in the packaging, and it looked amazing. And I thought to myself, this is my chance.

Zach:

I'm gonna learn how to use a drill. I'm gonna impress my wife. I'm gonna become the handyman that I've always wanted to be. So I went inside the house, said, mom, what's up with that drill? She said, I won it at a work raffle.

Zach:

It's yours. Go ahead and take it. Like, oh, yes. Thank you so much, mom. So I go home and I start trying to build some stuff.

Zach:

I put up a bookshelf in my living room and it looks amazing. I mean, I am so proud of myself. Put some books up there. Bam. End of story.

Zach:

I'm a handyman. I'm a champion. It's great. Well, later that night, me and my wife are in bed and we hear this this huge sound coming from our living room. So I get up out of bed and I run-in and I'm about to attack this intruder because surely that's what happened.

Zach:

Someone is breaking into my house. And instead, I look over and there's my bookshelf with 4 massive holes in my wall because not only did my bookshelf fall down, but it took part of the wall with it. The moral of the story is just because I have a good drill doesn't mean that I am a handyman. Also, my dad is a handyman. I mean, he can fix anything, and he doesn't need good tools to be handy.

Zach:

He can fix a air conditioner with a sock and some scotch tape. I mean, this guy can fix anything. Now good tools don't make you a handyman, but good tools do help you be the best handyman that you can be. So what does this have to do with mentoring? I'm about to tell you.

Zach:

Here it is, guys. Skill based mentoring. Whenever I first started out in mentoring, I wanted to teach my mentee all of the things. I mean, I wanted to teach them how to shake a hand and tie a tie and how to drive and this is how you fill out a job application and this is a resume, And I wanted to teach them these things because it was my hope that they would use them one day to reach their full god given potential. As soon as I started talking about these things, these kids just stared at me like I had 6 eyes.

Zach:

They weren't really that interested in the skills that I was trying to teach them. That's interesting. Don't you kids understand how helpful these things are? Don't you understand that these will help you in this world make money and get jobs and become all that you can be? Well, like we say often, a kid doesn't care what you know until they know that you care.

Zach:

Now hear me when I say this. Skill based mentoring is good. It's a really good thing. You need to know how to do certain things in life, but I believe that it is secondary because skills are no good if your mentee believes they are dumb. Skills are no good if they believe that they will never amount to anything and they are just gonna become just like every other person that they've ever known, possibly in their community or in their family, just in the same neighborhood, the same home, lack confidence.

Zach:

Skills are no good if they lack hope, if they lack self value. So I'm gonna introduce you all to identity based mentoring. Identity based mentoring, I believe, works best whenever it precedes skill based mentoring. So this is what identity based mentoring is. Simply put, it's helping your mentee see themselves how God sees them.

Zach:

That they are full of worth. That they are full of value, that they have a purpose and a plan, that they can become anything that they want to, that God has something good in store for them. And it's our job as a mentor to be the mouthpiece of the Lord and help them understand that they are special. And I'm not saying special, like, oh my gosh, you're so special, this, this, this, but that they were uniquely made, that that God didn't screw up whenever he made them. So it's our job as mentors to encourage their identity as a son or as as a daughter of the most high king, to build them up, to champion them, to encourage them, to encourage us to open up their chest and insert courage.

Zach:

May all of our mentees say, my mentor is the most encouraging person I have ever met. Every time I hang out with him, I leave feeling good. Because when your mentee believes that they have worth, that they have a purpose, that they have value, they will have intrinsic motivation to learn the skills because they will say to themselves, I'm smart. And if I'm smart, then I can excel, I can succeed in whatever I want to. No one likes failing.

Zach:

But if you can talk your mentee into believing that they, have what it takes to succeed, then that's a really, really good thing. And that creates in them a hunger to learn because they believe in themselves and they have someone in their corner that believes in them. So once the identity based, mentoring and encouragement is in place, Pow. Then introduce the skills. And this can even happen in, like, the same meeting.

Zach:

Like, hey. Before you teach them how to mow a yard, you know, encourage them. Tell them that they can do it. Believe in them. Just, help them see themselves how God sees them.

Zach:

But first identity, then skills. And I believe that is the way that we can best steward our mentees. So identity based mentoring on its own is good. Skill based mentoring on its own is good, but when you combine the 2, that is where the magic is. So I hope that encourages you as you hang out with your mentee.

Zach:

In the next couple weeks, remember to encourage their identity. Help them see themselves how God does. And then let's teach them a skill or 2. Okay? Super thankful for you.

Zach:

Remember, you can mentor. Keep being consistent. Keep showing up. We're grateful. Share this podcast with your network, anyone else who mentors.

Zach:

Check out our social media and our website. We love you. You can mentor. We believe in you. Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast.

Zach:

Please share this with other mentors and download our free resources on our website. You can also order Zach's book, You Can Mentor, or John's book, Mephibsheth, on Amazon. Lastly, we'd really appreciate it if you gave us a 5 star rating on whatever listing platform you are tuning in on. If you'd like to connect with us further, please contact us through our website because we're always looking for new guests or connections. Thank you, and remember, you can mentor.