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Every person has a style, and every style deserves support. Enter your style strategy cheerleader and founder of BU Style, Natalie Tincher. Since 2010 Natalie has worked with hundreds of personal clients as well as large corporations and a major global news network—and she is here to guide you.
In this podcast, you will gain clarity and insights on how to connect your style with your authentic self through Natalie's style expertise as well as interviews with other style-supporting guests like designers, clients, and other professionals in and out of the fashion industry.
Whether you love fashion, fear fashion, or fall somewhere in between, it doesn't matter. This isn't about fashion; it's about exploring who you are and how to own your unique style identity. This podcast will help you cut through the noise and examine your personal style holistically so you can "wear who you are" every day.
Unknown Speaker 0:02
Welcome to wear who you are a podcast that takes the fear out of fashion and hold space for everyone to explore how to connect your authenticity with your personal style. I'm your host Natalie tincher, founder of bu style expert style strategist and your enthusiastic friend and safe space of support. I believe that every person has a style, and every style deserves a seat. With over a decade of experience working with hundreds of personal clients, I've learned a thing or two about how to help others have a healthy and holistic approach to navigating how to build a wardrobe that reflects who you are. So pull up your seat and let's get started.
Unknown Speaker 0:46
Welcome back where who you are Wednesdays are back after a little summer break. I had such a wonderful time in San Diego, it's where I spend a good part of the latter half of the summer. It was a really good mix of friends and sunshine and it was a good creative outlet for me to get ready to rerecord episodes and put out more content for you. I did a lot of reading and writing, including working with my writing coach on my book proposal. So we're making great progress on that. And creating content and having conversations on this podcast have really helped me hone in on my message. So again, thank you for that space. Now I'm back in my favorite city, my home New York, and my favorite season fall connecting with my dear community of friends, clients, colleagues, and of course, all of the inspiration that this city has to offer. So we are in a season of transition here. So as for the podcasts, now that we're getting into our flow, having just started earlier this year, I wanted to dig a little deeper this season, we'll call it. And so here is how things are generally going to look. So of course, there'll be exceptions as needed, because we like to break the rules when you need to. But I'll be dropping episodes every two weeks. And through guest interviews and my NAT chat solo episodes, we're gonna dive deeper and more holistically into specific topics and themes. So things will connect a little bit more than they have and we will create some more juicy content that will hopefully give you even more, more support. And so as always, I do want to hear from you. If you have any specific questions or topics you would like covered or guests ideas, please head over to Instagram and hit me up there.
Unknown Speaker 2:34
All right now moving on to this episode and the topics we'll be covering in our upcoming next few episodes. As we're in a transition Season Fall, we're going to talk about transitions, including some key life transitions and how they inextricably affect our personal style. One of these I like to think is the Everest of all transitions. I haven't gone through it, but I'm here because of it. And so we're gonna really ground some of our conversations, including the one today around motherhood. My guest today is a pure pure pure joy and a kindred spirit of a client to me, who has recently become a mother for the first time to the sweet little cutie Claire, she sends me pictures and I just like want to pinch your cheeks and hug her and like look into her beautiful eyes. And she Tara is just returning to work after maternity leave. So she's experiencing a lot of really the heart of the transitions that come from motherhood in full force mode right now. So I'm delighted to introduce you to Tara Blackman. Tara lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughter. She has worked in the ad tech industry for over 12 years most recently as VP of Sales running a team of sales executives at live ramp. In her spare time Tara enjoys being active spending time with friends and family, reading and doing arts and crafts. So welcome, Tara, thank you for taking time away from the little one and family the week before you're returning to work. Thank you for inviting me. I'm excited to be here. I'm excited. We caught up last week on a call to talk about this very topic that we're covering on the podcast today. And that is your style evolution. So I just want to start from the beginning of us and then we'll even go more to the beginning of you. Why did you first even want to hire a stylist I first wanted to hire a stylist to build a strategy that could help carry me long term. I really developed my personal style on my own. I didn't come from a family that really cared about style. We shopped and dressed for comfort and convenience and I always felt the pull towards wanting to express myself through my choices of outfits. And I found before before working with you I'd actually worked with one or two other stylists and I wasn't happy and wanted somebody who I could connect with but I knew that when looking for a stylist you don't necessarily want to find someone who you want to dress like them but find someone who can understand
Unknown Speaker 5:00
You and your goals and desire. So when you and I first talked, I had already spoken to about, I think six or seven different stylists. And as soon as we jumped on the call, I knew you were the one for me. So I really wanted help creating stress, a strategy to prevent me from making impulse purchases, and really be more strategic in my choices. And ultimately always wanting to choose items that that showed who I was as a person and help me express myself, I think that's one thing that we have in common is that we didn't come from families that were really into style. And so I think that can in some ways be difficult. It's very freeing, because you don't have a reference point in terms of oh, so and so was, you know, dressing this way or that way. But also, there's so much freedom when you start exploring it yourself, that you're just like, shiny, I had shiny object syndrome when I first started exploring, and that's how I even got to use the methodology I use was because of that, where I'm like, how do we get to the heart of the person and learn how to communicate that their style, I think there's a big difference to between between materialism, and a desire to acquire clothing and items that help you show who you are. And I think because I didn't have I don't have parents or family members or close family members who cared as much as I did, it was seen as more materialism when I expressed desire to, to shop and buy etc. And I internalize that. And over the years, I've really realized that it's not just this incessant need to bring more and more and more into my world, it's bringing more in so that I can outwardly show who I am. And I think those around me who I'm closest to have learned to understand that about me, but it's, it was definitely an evolution and a journey. One part of that is then having to know that you're doing it for yourself, and then shutting out again, those external influences that we're faced with that we're gonna continue to talk about to say, No, I know my intent, I know that this isn't just wanting to be vapid and consumers like consumers civically minded it is because this is something that aligns with my values. And, and you are a career woman. And that's a really important factor to you, too. And we've I know we've worked together about on your, your professional brand, and talk me through how that's evolved. Because I know it's a it's evolved quite a bit since we work together. It definitely has. And I think over time, we've refined it to a point where in our last conversation, I was talking to you about my desire to to act like Steve Jobs a bit in my wardrobe, not that I want to wear a white shirt and slacks every day, but I do want to simplify my life a bit. And that has definitely been an evolution this desire for volume and being someone who's going to always show up in a different outfit because I want to express myself that way and my desire for going when I go back to work next week is to be strategic in my choices, but mindful that repeating things is totally fine. And I'm I'm feeling a pull towards finding a uniform that works for me to make my life really simple. Now that I'm not only dressing myself in the morning, but dressing another person and getting another person ready. I've always been okay with being bold in a room, so I'm not afraid to wear as you can see right now a bold colored blazer, we've really worked together quite a bit on my color story as you call it, which could be pairing a lime green pair of slacks with a purple sweater and doing color blocking against in two different colors that you might not not necessarily assume one would put together in the business world but I am very okay with my first impression being when I walk into a room if it's a meeting with my boss and meeting with a client a big pitch I'm totally okay with my clothes standing out as long as it's appropriate. At the same time, I like to be comfortable. I remember when I first started working my first job was at a law firm and I was wearing pencil skirts and kitten heels and could not have felt more less like myself. And I remember thinking like I'm sitting at a desk all day no one is looking at me why am I sitting here so uncomfortable? This is so silly. How is anybody focusing wearing suits when we don't really need to so you and I have also really worked on choosing things that helped me express myself but also allowed me to feel comfortable so that I'm not fidgeting or feeling distracted because something is cutting into me or some some strap is uncomfortable and that's been a really key part of my our selections together and it's not necessarily the easiest a lot of style choices don't necessarily factor in comfort. I own a couple pairs of blue
Unknown Speaker 10:00
batons that were sitting in my closet gathering dust. And when you and I first worked together, we clear those out and sold those bad boys. So yeah, we did. That's been Yes, that's been it's important to me to be authentic in that and honest like I do need to be comfortable in an altruist is that I make. And I think with your help, we've been able to pull off polished with comfort, and in a very beautiful way. I think so too. And I love that we talked about the color story for you. And I think a huge part of it was also knowing that you are like you have a magnetic presence just naturally like you radiate it. And so it would feel misaligned. The way that I saw it was it would feel misaligned when, like some of the things that you were in, I mean, picturing you in a pencil skirt and kitten heels is to me, just like an alternate universe of someone I just don't even know. Like that. That is for you a costume because it is so outside of the box of just who what your presence is. And you have just such a vibrant energy that it just makes sense to bring color into it. And it makes sense for you to be comfortable because you do move around a lot. We both do. That's where we're when we're in a session together. Our hands are like flailing away and
Unknown Speaker 11:20
throwing things.
Unknown Speaker 11:22
And like boop, chatting. I mean, I think her husband Jake walked in once and I could see his eyes just being like, what is going on with the two of them here is like a world that I don't know, I even want to walk into. Because we're just, that's just your energy. And so even in your hair, I want to talk about your hair. Was that ever a consideration in the workplace or growing up? If you can't see, or you don't see listening, Tara has this beautiful, naturally curly hair, oh, my hair.
Unknown Speaker 11:55
Hair, where do I even begin? I had a love hate relationship with my hair for a very long time. And I am so proud to say that that relationship now is entirely love there is no longer any hate. In fact, my husband is also a curly guy. So the two of us have these crazy heads of hair. And our daughter so far is just starting to show signs that she's currently there's no world where she's not curly, or else I don't know, we'd have to go on Maury, and some sort of tests do some sort of test. But we're so excited to see what happens with her hair. Because we're bringing two very, very curly heads of hair to the table, though he was platinum blonde as a baby. And if you can't see I have very, very dark curls. So we're really curious about color too.
Unknown Speaker 12:42
I grew up in the 90s, where it was very in style to straighten your hair. So I had kind of a big poofy mess on my head for most of my life until I was maybe 12 or 13. And I found I discovered a diffuser and a little attachment that you put on the end of a hairdryer. And I started diffusing my hair and discovered that I actually had beautiful curls if I just supported them and gave them a little bit of product and stop brushing them. So I started to learn to love my hair. And then it really wasn't until Beyonce came along and she was rocking a very, very big head of hair and was super mainstream and popular that curly hair kind of came back into fashion. And I was started being stopped on the street, getting compliments on my hair. And in terms of my hair in the office, these I have no shame to having it down having it big poofing it up, walking into meetings with it very loose and making a statement that way. But I'm really finding that I want to spend my time in the morning not blow drying my hair. So most days, you can actually just see me in a braid, where I jump out of the shower, put it into a braid when it's wet, and then stick with that for the rest of the day. Not because I'm not afraid to let my curls, rock and roll all day. But just because I don't feel like spending time this goes back to the comfort convenience of what life needs to be. Right.
Unknown Speaker 14:12
Exactly, exactly. So talking about growing up in the 90s I know that being someone who grew up in the 90s as well, we had a lot of fat free diet culture, body image. We had a lot of stuff going on there. How did that affect to you and your style and fashion choices and just you psychologically Yeah, it was hard and I will say that I I put in a lot of work
Unknown Speaker 14:44
into accepting my body. I continue to do work on this and I'm loving my body and realizing that bodies come in many shapes and sizes and they're really here for function. Right bodies are strong and they help you get from place to place
Unknown Speaker 15:00
is, and they don't define who you are. But it took lots of therapy and lots of just really targeted work to accept the body that I was given. I have a really great relationship with exercise, I had a really great pregnancy, I was able to exercise throughout pregnancy, which helped me feel good in my body throughout when, as you know, Natalie, I'm always thinking ahead to the next chapter. And in a lot of our clothing choices, I was really nervous to make choices and choose investment pieces that were pricey because I was scared of what was going to happen to my body, and pregnancy. And I've done a lot of that work. And all that time I put into accepting my body and trying to become be more comfortable, and it really paid off, because now I'm on the other side of pregnancy, and my body does look a little bit different. But I'm feeling great, you know, this concept of bouncing back to the body that you had before pregnancy is something that I think is awful, like nothing in my life right now is about moving backwards. It's all moving forward. So why are we referencing how your body should look, after you've brought a human into this world is it bounced back, it's really a bounce forward. And that's how I feel so sure, it looks a little bit different. But because I invested so much time and energy into as much radical self acceptance as I could find, I'm feeling really good in it. And that is me coming a very, very long way from, like we said, that 90s culture that was all about being stick straight and super tight and belly shirts and spaghetti straps that I really struggled with when I was a kid because it just didn't work for the body that I had at the time. And I think that's what's so interesting. And something that I do love that's happening in our culture now. But that is because our generation is truly undoing all of that negative conditioning that we had of fitness magazines, everything was fat free or this and I've seen a lot of things on Instagram recently that are but Bridget Jones, and it say No wonder we grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with weight because that early 2000s and 90s. That called her fat, and everything was about the fat suits and being chubby and this and that. And it was just really one ideal, we didn't have a lot of exposure to diversity. And I know in my world in my household, and you know, the places I grew up, it was very open to have one ideal and everything was about women. And it was all everything is was targeted to women, we had the SlimFast we had the nutrit slim we add whatever it was. And now I like that idea to that you're talking about it's let's change our language to not bounce back. Let's bounce forward. Because your body did something miraculous it literally birth to human being. And so nothing is going to be the same. And what has changed and how did all that work then help you? Like what were some of the surprises, just to demystify that, in terms of pregnancy and like during pregnancy and postpartum? My best way to describe pregnancy is you're basically dealt a hand and then you play that hand. So what does that mean? That means like, if you've ever seen Amy Schumer's documentary about her pregnancy, she had something called hyperemesis where she was throwing up violently basically her entire pregnancy she had no choice there was not because of anything she did. So she was not able to do much she actually came out with a comedy special that I've watched multiple times even though she was struggling with that but it was really impressive because she was really dealt a bad hand. I was dealt a very very good hand in pregnancy which like I said, allowed me to stay extremely active move around basically every day I was sleeping well I didn't have to avoid any foods really. And that resulted in a beautiful pregnancy and what I was expecting to your question was I don't know I don't know I thought I was going to become huge because everybody tell told me you know in those last four weeks your body really explodes and you put on a ton of weight and nothing's going to fit and you're going to be swollen so I remember at the last couple of weeks being so ready for this explosion that people told me we're gonna happen and it didn't happen. I felt the exact same I felt great up until I went into labor. Everything was fine. And I want to jump in there and ask what was your strategy around buying maternity clothing? I wanted to buy as little as possible because I knew it was a such a short time in my life and comfort this is probably like number by far number it was number one comfort over everything. So I in my go to maternity outfit at the office was a blazer with a black tank top that I just bought an online just a non maternity tank top I was able to fit
Unknown Speaker 20:00
Then until the end, and then I found a pair of
Unknown Speaker 20:04
pants from Old Navy that were maternity stretchy, like yoga pants that were ripped. And I would wear those with my black tank top and a blazer and a pair of Converse and called it a day. And I even hosted a big meeting at our annual or a big panel rather at our annual company board meeting, while pregnant. And that was my outfit I was like, I'm pretty sure no one can tell these are yoga pants that Blazers is bringing the outfit elevating the outfit up. So I'm just going to make sure I'm comfortable. Because if I'm comfortable, then I can really focus on what I'm doing, which is presenting this awesome panel to my company's board. And that was I want to jump in on your strategy there because I was part of one of this. And if this is helpful for people want to Tara got really into Blazers during her pregnancy. And that one of the reasons for that and she felt comfortable being present looking was because blazers, you don't have to button them. So essentially, you can do all of the stretchy stuff underneath. And your Blazers worked for your entire pregnancy, right? If not the entire time. Yeah, I would have worn went to the hospital if
Unknown Speaker 21:17
it really became a lump.
Unknown Speaker 21:21
In my closet now, which I'm excited, you're coming over soon, where you will take a peek, I have the entire rainbow represented in blazers. And I've really enjoyed getting some really fun ones too mixed in there. So some really cool patterns like the Alice and Olivia one that I showed you that I bought on my own. So it's been it was great to spend money that way because I knew I'd still be able to access them after and I just really didn't want to have a whole wardrobe of maternity items that I'll likely only wear once again, maybe well, and then how has that helped you now as you're thinking about going to work? Are you concerned about putting a new, like your first day back? Are you concerned about putting a wardrobe together? I am not because I also was very kind to myself and bought myself two pairs of denim a size bigger because I'm currently still a size bigger on the bottom. And I gave I went to Old Navy. So I got a pair that was budget friendly, because I hope that all the other denim in my closet is fully available to me soon. But that was a really big moment. And that speaks to a lot of that work that I did. Like I mentioned, because going up a size would have been something that devastated me previously, and it was no big deal. Also sizing. lol so silly. And it's funny even with my daughter, she is four and a half months, and she's wearing everything from newborn clothing still to clothing this for a 12 month old. So it's such a it's such a lesson. It's better. Like what is this?
Unknown Speaker 22:55
That earlier, she today was wearing a dress that says nine months and she is like I said four and a half. So the best lesson, right? Like what is the size even matter it's how you feel in the clothing how your your competence is coming through. If you're feeling good for me if I'm comfortable, that's everything. So in my closet, there's probably a range of five different sizes just like in my with my four and a half. I don't know if you've heard the episode, I did a whole episode on how sizing is bullshit and actually going through the numbers. And so if you're listening and haven't listened to that yet, and this interests you go back, it's such a just data point for if you are doing work on body acceptance, just to really go through the fact that there is no standardization, like her day isn't different. And how she gives like comes off to the world if she's wearing a nine month dress versus a newborn dress. So why should mine be different just because I'm wearing a pair of jeans that maybe would have been a little big before I got pregnant, my day should not be any different. And it isn't for my daughter. And I'm so proud of all the work I've done because I'm really hoping she grows up with positive body image much from a much, much earlier age. And I think me being a role model to her is going to be the biggest influence in that when she goes out into the world. I obviously can't control it when she sees on billboards and hears from people. But I think I'll have an outsize influence in the home. So that's really my main focus right now especially having a girl that's actually a question I have for you is very specific one I wrote down, which was what is the one piece of advice you wish you could have given young Tara that you will give to Claire? I think it's what it's sorry to be repetitive, but I think it's what I said earlier because it's something I had to learn over time. Your body is a tool. It's here to move get you or move you around. It's here to help you play sports. If you're interested in that it's here to be strong and help you lift things. It's not. It's not it doesn't define you and who you are and if it's
Unknown Speaker 25:00
Big or small, that doesn't make you good or bad. It just is. And it's the best tool that you could, that you could ever take care of. So take good care of it, and it will serve you. Well. Well then in terms of for the listeners, and you talk a lot about the work that you've done. Could you give us some specifics? What were some of the most valuable tools or some of the most important things that you actively did to reframe the way that you view your body? Because this was a very active process for you? Yeah, that's right. Developing language, like you just heard me use about for how to describe my body, a lot of talk therapy, you know, it's interesting, we could get like a little email. But
Unknown Speaker 25:45
when I was little, when I was a baby, I developed this big, big growth on my neck that was called, it's called the heme angioma. And it's completely harmless. And when my parents first saw it, of course, they panicked because their six month old, had this big thing on her neck. And when they talked took me to the doctor, they found out that it was totally harmless and would go away. And in fact that we were lucky because a lot of babies develop them in the middle of their face, and it can cause blindness and obstruct eyesight. So once they knew that they were thrilled, it ended up going away and shrinking over time. But there's nothing that I enjoy more than looking at a picture of myself as a little baby with this humongous thing on my neck that if I still had it today, I'd be covering likely cover maybe not, but likely covering with scarves or wearing turtlenecks. And I look at these photos of myself, and I am just as happy as can be. Because I have no idea. I'm just a baby enjoying the world and the life that I was given. And I really try to reference that a lot. You know, Pat, let's say when I was 1314, and had acne on my face, and it was really hard to look in the mirror, I tried to remember that there was pictures of myself as a baby where I was just happy existing and the and bringing joy to the world just by being in loving and, and being a part of my family. And it didn't define anything about me back then. So why should my body and how it looks really defined me now. So that's probably the biggest lesson that I've tried to weave in. But of course, it's easier said than done. So sprinkle in a lot of talk therapy in there. And a lot of unfollowing people on social media, I really like, you know, when I first joined, I was all about seeing what other people were doing and, and putting out there. And over time I've really cut back and I tried to just stay in my own lane. And I'm not looking at anybody else. Any other in terms of like influencers, etc. I think that's great advice. Because there's so much out there in the world. And I find what's happening on social media, that's been one of the more damaging sides of it. I think there are a lot of beautiful, wonderful things about it, obviously. But is especially now it's every two minutes, we're told what we're supposed to look like or what's cool. I mean, we talked about how the 90s had a pretty set standard. That was a longer term, at least now. It's like, you're supposed to look like a Kardashian and one second and then you're supposed to look like an Hadid. And then you're supposed to look like whoever else. And then you're supposed to be in, you know, Barbie core one minute, and now we're at like, sad. I saw something new today. It was like sad morose core, I don't know. It's like, how if I mean, you have such a strong sense of self, but I can't even imagine, if you have no idea. You haven't even done work that it could, it's got to be so confusing. It is confusing. I see it all the time with clients and people that I speak to and listeners that I've talked to. So I think that's such a good tip to cut out the social media that's causing you to not be focused on your internal work. And that's not inspiring you to be like, You know what I want to bounce move forward before we're thinking and present thinking, especially with like being a mom, the amount of mom stuff out there and how you should be feeding and sleeping and all that I just find I'm doing a lot of like, how do I feel before I go on versus after? And if it's worse after Why am I doing that, like pick up a book, go for a walk, this is not a good use of time. I do like to stay up with what's going on and trendy. But that's why I have you to we talked about like fads versus trends versus style. Like I don't need to be buying every every piece of item that's recommended to me on social media. Let's make strategic choices and build a wardrobe versus just chase the trends that we're seeing across the internet. Don't chase don't chase chase someone else's checklist for you make your own checklist and be empowered to do that. And it does take doing work and what I really love about you just as a human is how much work you actively do. And so I wanted to
Unknown Speaker 30:00
talk then about continuing on that. Have you talked about staying present? How have you come into that? Because that even since we work together, like you said, that's been a shift on where you are now, but then still being strategic, it's sort of Hand in Hand of how do I live in the present, but also be forward thinking and strategic? Yeah, yeah. It's funny, I have a really good friend who pointed out to me a couple years ago that I was I always, I hope used to do this, I'm trying to do it less, would always think and speak in terms of like I said before the next chapter. So when I was dating my husband, when he was my boyfriend, I was always referencing when we would get married, and then when we would own a home, and then when we would have kids. And now I can easily find myself going to when we have a second kid, because that's our desire. And I'm really trying to pump the brakes on that, because especially right now, like the growth from when you have a newborn to four and a half months, she has doubled in size, the thing she can do, it's changing every day, like if you basically blink, you're missing some sort of awesome milestone. So she's really taught me the value of just being present. And being in the day. My my, my stepmom also constantly is reminding me that don't worry, too, the worry worries you. So everything that I'm basically ever worried about in life is not it has not come true. And it's always the stuff that coff catches you completely blind and unexpected, that are the things that are big and monumentous in your life. And I used to spend a lot of time worrying. And I'm really trying to let that go and just be in the day and working on what I can actually control and having positive influence and letting the rest go. So in some trying to not live in the next chapter or not think about that next kid when I have a beautiful fresh one, right in the next room who's just begging for me to pay attention to her every day. I love that. So then let's talk about that. It's a hard transition, I feel like to go back to work. How are you feeling about that? First of all,
Unknown Speaker 32:14
I'm feeling good. Something I'm working on right now is having room for multiple emotions, even if they sometimes they're seemingly conflicting. So I currently feel very sad to not be spending every day with her. While simultaneously knowing that the choice to go back to work is the right choice for me, I would I do not want to choose to stay home full time, I want to go back to the job that I had prior to going on maternity leave. And that I can also feel excited to do that. But this, like the sadness is there, and the excitement is there. And that's okay, even though one might look at that and say that doesn't really line up. And then I also don't need to problem solve, like, I can just feel sad. It is sad that I'm not gonna be with my daughter every day. But I have a job to get back to that I'm looking forward to getting back to and what are you most excited about? Getting to go back getting dressed? No, just kidding. Partially, I'm partially excited to get dressed and leave the house and go be around other adults. I really like my job. It's a challenging job, I manage a pretty large team. So I'm problem solving with other people all day. It's extremely interpersonal. So my husband is sitting in his office during the day and he is an audio producer. So he's not talking to anyone, he's just listening and revising and doing his magic where I'm in the other room and I'm talking for eight, nine hours a day non stop, I have to make sure I'm hydrating because if I don't pay attention, I talked myself into dehydration. So I just I like to interact with people. And I haven't done that much of that since I've interacted with a four month old so I'm excited to just be out there and and talking to folks again exercising that part of you being present and strategic in your style. How how do you want to show up in this you know, return to work and how do you want your style to how do you see your style evolving in the near future? Like I mentioned earlier, I'm feeling a pull towards having more of a uniform that I just rotate and is still I still want an element of surprise like I like that I'm some people have told me this like when you walk into a room I'm excited to see what you're wearing, or I've been called the best dressed in my office are very nice, very nice compliment. So I still want the element of I guess surprise but also I'm okay with being a little bit more predictable at this point in my life. Like I said I have a lot to do now in the morning before going to work so I want my son
Unknown Speaker 35:00
Should my outfit decision to be a really easy, quick one. And I think that's probably going to end up looking like a blazer with a stretchy tank and probably more of a pair like a instead of stretchy pants now jeans or slacks, and then a fun shoe choice. But if the if I wear that five days a week, and it's just a different blazer in different tanks, then so be it. I love that. And then how I know we talked a little bit on our phone call in terms of a strategy, because you expressed to me that you would like to maybe change a little bit about the way that you're shopping as well. Yes, when I first came to it was all about volume, volume, volume, and I wanted to have lots of selection. And just almost like buying in bulk, I wanted a lot when you would pin for me, we'd have lots and lots of choices. I'm hoping to be more strategic and invest in a much smaller selection of pieces that can carry me for a very long time. So we have a baby naming for our daughter coming up, um, I don't know what I'm wearing for it yet. And hopefully we'll find something great. And I'm hoping whatever dress or suit we buy for it will be used over and over again, over the years. Maybe it's not something I'm wearing every week or even every month, but it's something that I want to show up in the future, whatever events could it could serve. And if that means that rather than buying 10 things in a shop, I'm only buying two. I think that's quite different than how what I used to come to you with where I just wanted a lot so that like I said before, I wanted to walk into the room with a different outfit always. And I'm okay with that not being the case anymore. You know, I'm excited for this strategy. Because I'm like, I need to get your closet he Roby even like we need to make sure they're all Terra heroes. And so I think that's so fun to collaborate, and really, like pinpoint specific needs and growth. And I know another part of that is been a slow shift I think you've had but you always had when we met of wanting to be more sustainable and conscious as well. How does how has that impacted your style from years ago to now? years ago? I didn't think about it at all. It was just do I like the piece? Does it fit? Well, can I forward into my budget. And I think having Claire has really been like the final push that I want to be thinking about buying things that are not having a negative impact on the planet. And I think just by nature of investing in pieces that are going to carry me for a long time, these none of these items are going to hopefully ever end up in a landfill though I'm really big on donating and using my local Buy Nothing group on Facebook whenever I want to get rid of things regardless. But I want to know how it was made. I want to know that it wasn't like the brand isn't using child labor overseas or just any sort of bad business practices. It's it is much more important to me, I think especially now that that I have a child and thinking about just fast fashion and some of the horrible working conditions that produce the clothing that many of us wear. I love that every conversation that we've had, I think what I see that's so interesting about the transition into motherhood is that it's really been a holistic, it's had a holistic impact on your style choices. So it's not just your body, it's not it is your body and it's your the way you get dressed in the morning and what your considerations are. And it's contributing to your desire to be even more sustainable and ethical when you think about her. So I'm even I guess I could have conceptually thought about it. But it's kind of a light bulb moment for me of even such a big transition transition is literally impacted the way that you approach life and in tandem your style from a really holistic viewpoint and it's so beautiful. It's just beautiful to hear. Thank you I love it. I also give my husband a shout out because he is has been on the sustainable train for a long time and always wants to know where things that the things that he's buying are from so he's he's been a really positive influence in that department. That's a good family choice. And you did give your local Buy Nothing Group A shout out I love Buy Nothing groups. And I've heard that for when you have babies. It's such a great tool because they're literally only using things for like point two seconds, right? And so why not just pass it around and pass it on instead of buying more synthetic things that are Oh yeah, need to go in landfills? Totally half of her stuff I've received from my group a lot of things I even find on the street I live in part
Unknown Speaker 40:00
slope. So some of the boxes that people leave out on the curbs are filled with gems. So it's so fun to just bop around the neighborhood and, and see what I can find. Clothing has a lot of clothing has been from from other people. So yeah, they use things so quickly. And I just we we have enough plastic in our seas already. So I don't need to be buying anymore. No big deal. But I'm a flagged as a top contributor in my local biome, I just got that designation too. And it was like such a big day, I took a screenshot and sent it to my best friend here. And I was like, oh my god, I'm a Top Contributor. That means Oh, yeah, this was a badge of honor, I wanted to put on my LinkedIn profile or something.
Unknown Speaker 40:43
No, it's a lot of work, though, you know, it is so much easier to bring a bag to Goodwill or just drop it somewhere like when you're donating, you have to schedule with people, sometimes people don't show up, it actually is a lot of work and on both sides. And when you're picking things up, you want to be on time and respectful. So it's it is a it is a good like accomplishment, it really is, especially when you're a busy mom, or busy anybody have like this is following all the best practices of by nothing. And it is does make a beautiful community. And you do meet people who are aligned with you through it and are so grateful. And I thought it was just such a beautiful way to connect with my neighborhood that I never would have before.
Unknown Speaker 41:27
Like the only thing I use Facebook for. Okay, I want to start wrapping up. But a final question I have for you then is thinking about Claire, and thinking about when she starts to maybe think about exploring style or wanting to experiment? How will you foster and encourage that, who that's so exciting to me. I don't know, I haven't thought about it yet. I don't know, like I said earlier, like this balance of materialism and wanting to acquire things so that you can express yourself, I think will be a really important balance to strike with her. So if, if we're out, I guess I'll allow figuring out how to allow her to make choices. But really understanding why she wants to make choices or just going out very intent with intention, if we're going to go to buy or buy her a new outfit for some reason, we're going to do that versus being out and her seeing something and impulsively wanting to get it and really not having like a meaning behind it. So it's such a good one, I haven't thought about it, I hope her desire is to dress boldly in and wear lots of color too. But if she doesn't, if she likes a neutral and just, you know, doesn't want to express herself that way, that is totally fine with me. But I think I'm curious to see how she, how her preference develops, because she's gonna be around a lot of color. In the household. She's, she's gonna have a great example too. And I'm so excited for those moments that you can use all of your work and to help her, you know, hopefully not have to have all of the negative conditioning that you did, and that we did. And I know that she's going to just be co piloted and ushered by such a wonderful, empowering, special, special, special, special special Mom, thank you. That means a lot. Thank you. You're the best. I can't wait to keep working together. Thank you so much for taking the time when you're going back to work next week. And I know it's not easy to get away. So I really appreciate you sharing your insights openly honestly and authentically for all of us and just showing up as you boldly and kind and wonderful.
Unknown Speaker 43:39
You're just the best. So thank you also to all of our listeners for tuning in. And as you go throughout your all of your transitions, I think one thing we can learn from Tara is that the more that you do the work and the present it will help you understand who you are and also in turn be able to wear who you are every day. Thank you so much and we will see you next time. Thanks for joining another way of who you are Wednesday. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast. Please share it with others post about it on social media or leave a rating and review. Be sure to follow along for episode news updates and other bonus style insights on Instagram through my business account at V style that's letters B, u and style or my personal account at Natalie underscore tincher And don't forget to subscribe to where who you are wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks again and see you next time.