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Are you someone who cares about people? Do you seek information to support people you care about who have families? Do you care about people affected by addiction, substance use disorders, or work in the field of family support or peer recovery support? Spend about twenty minutes each month with the President and CEO of Archways Recovery Community Organization and Family Resource Centers who shares hope, strength and stories from the field and practice of Peer Recovery Support Services and Family Support & Strengthening.
Narrator 00:02
Welcome to Archways' Threads, a show focusing on the threads of family and recovery support services that help make up the tapestry of life in recovery. Join us as we share stories from peers and participants in the field and practice of peer recovery support and family support and strengthening. And now your host, Archways' CEO Michelle Lennon.
Michelle Lennon 00:28
And thank you for joining us once again with our conversation with Cara LaPlante on identity-based goal setting. We're going to wrap up that conversation today, and we are glad that you have joined us. Thank you.
Michelle Lennon 00:40
And if you really get stuck, we can look at the eight dimensions of wellness that SAMHSA puts out, and just do a real basic assessment. Like, where do they feel they are in the social realm of wellness, or in the emotional realm, the spiritual realm, intellectual, physical, financial, occupational, or whatever area of life, like, they want to see, maybe, some improvement. And kind of, look at those different areas, you know, just a brief little assessment. How do you learn these different areas? And just pick one, pick one to work on, and make that progress, because we know the repetition consistency will start reprogramming the brain to show that the change is possible. You know, when I think about those domains of wellness, like for me, all of 2025 was really spent on that fitness piece for me. This year, it's my environment, you know, decluttering--that's a big thing for me--and then my relationship with my husband. Like, we actually go to marriage counseling. Like, we are talking about what our goals for the future is. What is retirement going to look like? You know, I'm in my 50s. But, defining the outcomes that we want. What we have discovered is that pain got us to question whether we should continue to do things that we were doing, which gave us a lot of motivation to move away from some things, but also now we're to this place where we want to move to this compelling vision of what we want our life to be like, as we kind of move into this next phase of his recovery. So, that's huge, because then that gives us the motivation to move towards something. It's what's motivating me to work in my yard all weekend, because he's away right now, and like, I want to enjoy our yard when he gets back. Decluttering my house--we've talked about how the chaos in our environment gets to us and our mental health, and so that's been a big goal. And all of this kind of overlaps with our different values and our goal to, like, have a really healthy, loving marriage versus just kind of tolerating each other and being roommates as we grow, as we grow together. So, maybe it's a challenge to define what some of these desired outcomes might be, and maybe they're not clear about their personal values. That was one of the things that I know we had talked a lot about, because our values come from those things like our beliefs, our family, our culture, our friends, those kind of things. But, taking the time to really figure out what was important to us was really important, especially after a period of active use for him, because my values were in conflict with each other. Because I--family is, like, one of my core values. Right? And so then it was like, "How do I protect my family from somebody who is part of my family? And how do I protect him?" So, there was a lot of conflict that was happening, and it's a common point of internal conflict. It's also different that when somebody's coming into recovery, sometimes their values are compromised at different points, and so, kind of, reexamining that. So it's a good place to do another one of those assessments, a little check figuring out what are your personal values. And that's something that we can easily do with participants. There's a great values test you can do right online, and it goes through, I think, over 100 different values. And it's like, "Is this one more important or this one? This one or this one? This one or this one?" And it just goes through, and you can do it in, like, under 10 minutes.
Cara LaPlante 04:49
Yeah
Michelle Lennon 04:50
To really see what is most important in somebody's life, because again, sometimes we don't know what is really important to us until we take the time to really think about it. Or we know, but we're not doing things that really align with what we believe is important to us. You know, because if it's really important to me to be there for my kids, and I've got plaque in my arteries, then I shouldn't be eating the PopTarts. And, it's like having those things in front of us, like I think to myself, if we'd done this podcast before I saw the them on the counter, I wouldn't have eaten them. Because sometimes we just need the reminders too to keep it in front of us, and of course, we know from the training we get in goal setting that if you read your goals twice a day, you're much more likely to stick to them. So, sometimes we get to a place of floating, and we just kind of leave it behind. But when you know your core values, you can tie our everyday actions to the most important things in our lives. So for me, like, getting back into the gym and all of that--like, I know my daughter's coming home for the summer. I want to make sure I'm still setting that good example, because she was like, I was the cool mom when I was running last summer, half an hour a day. Oh, yeah, I was the cool mom, you know, to be able to do that. So, I just want to want to get back to that.
Cara LaPlante 06:15
Yeah, totally. And I think your comment about participants may have already some awareness about what's important to them, but not acting in a way that necessarily aligns with that, I think that's a great opportunity for coaches to point out, too. Like, you're telling me that your family and financial stability is important to you, but you're also telling me and showing me that you're making these choices. Tell me for you how are those aligning? How are those coming together? And if they're not, what can we do about it?
Michelle Lennon 06:54
it? Right, and that's like classic motivational interviewing strategy to develop discrepancy.
Cara LaPlante 07:00
Yeah
Michelle Lennon 07:00
You know, but really, what we're doing is allowing them to be the expert on their own life and come through their own process of self-discovery.
Cara LaPlante 07:08
Yeah,.
Michelle Lennon 07:09
So that's important, and we can tie things together, looking at those core values and using those motivational interviewing skills, by asking questions. What does your core value mean to you, whatever it might be? Or how might it connect to your goals? I love Pepperidge Farm lemon cake.
Cara LaPlante 07:32
You should have them sponsor the podcast.
Michelle Lennon 07:34
But, it's contrary to my goals of being a fit and healthy leader. Don't bring it into my house. Like, I'm not gonna buy it. Don't give it to me as a gift. But we think about these, and how does it fit with my identity? Well, it doesn't really fit with being a fit and healthy leader. Or how does it fit with how I want to see myself? So if my identity is that, I'm not eating that. Like, the choices that I make are different, right, and then the vision of who I want to be. I would like to not look in the mirror and think I look like Jabba the Hutt. But--you know, and I don't think that--but I'm just saying, like, when I think about a vision of myself, I want to look fit. Think about values, the prayers, meditations, tasks, goals, habits, daily action, thoughts. What fits with the vision of the identity that somebody is after? Because there's a lot of things that can be kind of brought to bear. Like, we talk about recovery capital and being the breadth and depth of everything that you can bring to bear on recovery. When we think about our values, our rituals, the prayers that we say, meditations that we do, the tasks that are on our list, the goals that we set for ourselves, the habits that we create or that we're already in the practice of doing, those daily actions. It's like the consistency of everything kind of pointing it to that one direction that can really help and fit with, like, the vision that we have for ourselves. So, you had mentioned the results, purpose, and impact. How important is that in the coaching process? Because there's a tool that--I believe it was created by Tony Robbins--it's being used everywhere, though, about this idea of just focusing on, like, one area and kind of pulling it apart and going through those steps of, like, picking an area and then sitting with somebody and talking to them, right, about the results they're after, the purpose, the impact of all of that. Like, how do you run through that process?
Cara LaPlante 09:51
Absolutely, yeah. I think it starts with the wellness assessment, like you talked about a little earlier. So, we actually can pinpoint, like, what area we actually want to work in. I think that's a great first step, and then, the results, purpose, impact tool. When we're talking about results, it's asking the questions: What results are the most important that you achieve in this area in the next six to 12 weeks? Then, in six to 12 months? And we're not looking for specific due dates or anything that strict. This is more just like a loose idea of when we would like to go, and it's more of a strategic direction than it is a task, like the smart goal would be. So, this is asking questions and putting pen to paper on, "What results of working in this area of wellness do I really want from working on it?"
Michelle Lennon 10:57
So, like for me, when I was working in the physical domain, it wasn't, "Oh, I want to lose 20 pounds by May 5." It was more, "I would like to see my A1C levels to drop so that I'm not considered pre-diabetic. I would like to increase my water intake. I would like to be eating healthy. I would like to role model being a fit and healthy leader."
Cara LaPlante 11:21
Absolutely,
Michelle Lennon 11:21
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 11:21
Yeah, absolutely. And the purpose is when we talk about purpose, it's our strong why. We brought this up at the very beginning to kind of give some context, but this is really why are the results important to us or to our participants? And this is where we tie in that core values work and the concepts leading to that transforming identity our strong "why" for why these results are important to us and why we're going to continue to make action and change behaviors to align with that? And it's really important, just like with the vision board and the wellness assessment, that we are doing it tangibly. We have pen to paper. We're doing graphic facilitation, because it makes it more real. And it's important to talk about it too. I think when people verbalize their goals, it makes it a little more concrete as well. And then, when we talk about impact, how would accomplishing the results that you've identified impact other areas of your life? And why do the results matter to your participant or to you? Again, tying it back to our core identities and our concept of our identity or our transforming identity, but what impact would it have on your life as a whole, not just that domain of wellness that you're actually working on, but you as a person?
Michelle Lennon 12:46
And so, the smart goals really come in with the tasks that lead to the results that you want then.
Cara LaPlante 12:53
Exactly.
Michelle Lennon 12:54
So, like, if I'm increasing my water intake, maybe it's a matter of if I put it on my Google Calendar to remind myself to drink water, right? Because I think, the whole time I've been sitting here, I've got two bottles of water I haven't touched. So, when we're done recording, like, it's going to cause me to go and drink the water. So, I think the tasks kind of fall naturally when you start thinking about what do you need to do to achieve those results.
Cara LaPlante 13:23
Absolutely,
Michelle Lennon 13:24
And that's where those smart goals come in.
Cara LaPlante 13:26
Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, like we said before, we're not totally getting rid of task management. It's just another tool to help us achieve what we actually want. So, the idea that having a clear result that we're looking for, a strong purpose and a strong why, and an undeniable impact on multiple areas in our life is what programs us, again, to strengthen that intrinsic motivation that is just way more sustainable.
Michelle Lennon 13:58
Yeah. And then, this is all well and good, and then sometimes we go off track. Yeah. So what do you do?
Cara LaPlante 14:06
Normal human behavior, right?
Michelle Lennon 14:08
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 14:09
We ebb and we flow. We revisit this. Right? We've created tangible things. You know, maybe life got really hectic, and there were more things added to the environment, the situation, and maybe that's why we got off track. Maybe it's not our priority anymore. Maybe we're experiencing some, like, mental health concerns. There's so many reasons why we go off track, but it all comes back to just revisiting this, revisioning your personal mission statement, your values, your wellness assessment, A) to see if that's actually still what you want to be working on, if that's still the person you want to be working towards, but then B) the other side of that is that, if that's still aligning with you, it's just a reminder, like, "Oh, yeah, like, this is what I'm working towards. This is why I'm doing all these things, or I'm trying to do all these things."
Michelle Lennon 15:06
And in a session, there's no reason why you couldn't revisit the dream board, redo our dream board or something, right, because I was thinking about that. My--I have a dream board on the back of my office door. I have a whole goal plan, and we're redoing our strategic plan right now. So, my whole goal plan has--like, most of it's checked off, you know, from the past three years, as far as my business goals. My personal goals is really what ends up on my dream board, and I was thinking that, like, we've already achieved a number of things, like I've helped support my son getting his business up off the ground. He's doing fantastic. He doesn't need Mom anymore, although he did hit me up for his wisdom teeth. But you know, I'm still a mom, always a mom. But just thinking about how it's--you know, here I've gone off track. It's a good time for me to revisit that, and in a coaching session, we could do that.
Cara LaPlante 16:03
Mm hm
Michelle Lennon 16:03
You know, with a participant that's kind of gotten off track.
Cara LaPlante 16:06
Absolutely.
Michelle Lennon 16:07
I know I--Friday, I have a meeting with a coach, and it's, like, all about nutrition again, getting some goals set, and I know what's coming: half my body weight, what the protein goals are going to be, and all of that, but just the accountability. So, sometimes when people get off track, we can just set weekly coaching appointments or telephone recovery support check-ins to just support somebody in their own goals, not to shame them, not to say, "Hey, you've blown it," but to give them the encouragement they need to get back on track.
Cara LaPlante 16:41
Yeah, I think it's showing them, like, "We want you to succeed."
Michelle Lennon 16:46
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 16:47
"And we're gonna figure out what you need to succeed." And if I have participants come in and, you know, they don't have anything immediately that they're working on, no tasks that they're working on, then what we do is go over our recovery plan. And we kind of--that's like the opportunity to start talking about, like, using all these tools and doing that little bit of a deeper work between coach and participant. But I think, as coaches, starting with our recovery plan is really helpful as, like, a baseline.
Michelle Lennon 17:25
Yeah, just a reminder.
Cara LaPlante 17:26
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 17:27
Of what people were after when they started, signed on, you know. But thinking about the people that we've seen reach goals that surprises people--getting a master's degree in clinical social work, for instance, or buying a home. Generally, they stayed connected and never stopped adapting their goal plan, yeah, their recovery plan. So it may have started with restoring my relationship with my children and getting housing, but it's kind of like, "Okay, now what?"
Cara LaPlante 18:02
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 18:03
"You know, now what?" And to never stop with that growth mindset that there's always a place to move from where you are. And people get content, but even when people are content with where they are, there's still all kinds of opportunities for growth. I know at one time my biggest goal was learning to play the guqin.
Cara LaPlante 18:24
Totally.
Michelle Lennon 18:25
And it's just a Chinese instrument that I absolutely love, and I took lessons for a while and realized I'm not going to be any famous guqin player. But, I think about how the human condition is about curiosity, it is about seeking new things, and that a lot of people just get stuck, and they don't have to. And I think that is a big thing for coaches, when we get stuck in the consequence-based goals and it's all crisis management, we forget we have this opportunity to help somebody's life course trajectory keep going higher if that's what they want.
Cara LaPlante 19:07
Absolutely.
Michelle Lennon 19:09
And sometimes we have to ask the questions, so that they can go through that self-discovery process of wanting better things for themselves. Because, the limiting beliefs and those glass ceilings can keep people from going after their dreams. It can cause them to deny they even have dreams.
Cara LaPlante 19:30
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 19:30
At some points, yeah. So we talk about the upgrade. Building on that results, purpose, and impact work is ultimately upgrading their identity. Right? It's being conditioned to have this new identity by developing new beliefs and taking new actions, according to the identity that they're after. And so that, "I am becoming," becomes "I am." I am a person in recovery. I am a person who's a great parent now. I am a person who's actually fit and healthy. We affirm the change through our behaviors, by doing the things, by our thoughts. I no longer run the tape that there are children starving in China. I have a hard time wasting things, so like, I've gotten in the habit now of, like, I go out to eat, I just ask for a to-go container right away and put half of it in, and know that I'm going to have that probably the next day for lunch or dinner. So, I've learned to manage those, kind of, biases that live in me around food and things, but when I was unaware of it, I just ate the whole plate. So, we can affirm the changes through our behaviors, our thoughts, our actions, and our ways of being, and see our behavior aligned with that new identity. And I think the beautiful thing about identity-based change is that we are growing the whole time, and we are making progress the whole time, and every setback is not seen as failure, or failure is not seen as fatal. It's seen as an opportunity to grow from. And I feel that--like, I feel that with my journey with the fitness stuff, because I could beat myself up that I gained back a little weight and I kind of slipped with my eating habits again, but the reality is it doesn't do any good, and every day is a new choice. And that was another mindset thing. I had an all-or-nothing mindset, like, "Well, I've blown it, so I might as well eat the whole lemon cake." But getting away from that and thinking, "No. I made a bad decision about eating PopTarts this morning. I'm going to eat healthier the rest of the day."
Cara LaPlante 21:45
Totally. Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 21:46
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 21:47
And I think too, like, kind of along the lines of what you just shared, like, you don't lose the knowledge if you experience a setback. You still have all the information, you know. You're seeing another coach. It's for a refresher. It's to remind you, "Oh, yeah. I actually do know what I should be doing." And in that whole process, you learned what works for you and that you need a little accountability,
Michelle Lennon 22:11
Right, for sure.
Cara LaPlante 22:12
Yeah. Yep. That's incredible.
Michelle Lennon 22:14
Yeah. So I think--thank you, Cara, for talking about all this stuff. I know for me, heading into the warmer months, like, it's a good time for me to do a reset, because I can get back outside. I can get more steps in, going for walks, going for runs.
Cara LaPlante 22:29
Totally.
Michelle Lennon 22:30
Doing yoga in my backyard, you know, those kind of fun things. We're just reminded that our compelling vision begins with that strong purpose, and that it's worth taking the time with ourselves and with our participants to think about that stuff.
Cara LaPlante 22:49
Absolutely,
Michelle Lennon 22:49
Yeah. Any last thoughts?
Cara LaPlante 22:51
Yeah. No last--or I guess the last thought would be just reiterating the power that we hold in our, the power that we hold inside ourselves. That's really why this work is possible, because we have the power to change and create the life that we really want, that is really fulfilling, and it doesn't have to be what everybody says it is. It is truly about us, which is so beautiful, and that it's all about learning. I just--learning is my word of the year. So, learn as much as possible about ourselves, other people, the world. That's it.
Michelle Lennon 23:30
All right. Thank you so much, and we hope you join us again. Have a great day.
Narrator 23:35
Thank you for listening to Archways' Threads. If there is a topic you'd like to see us cover, email us at podcast@archwaysnh.org or call us at 603-960-2128. Visit our website at archwaysnh.org to learn more about the Archways Family of Recovery and Family Resource Centers.