All Shades of Chocolate from The State News

In celebration of Women's History month, we wanted to shed light on the experiences Black women may face in their everyday lives and the importance of expressing and feeling that "Black is beautiful." 

What is All Shades of Chocolate from The State News?

The State News discuss black culture, trending topics, issues in the black community, black clubs at MSU, and educate listeners about the black community.

Shakyra:

Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Shakyra Mabone.

Jada:

Jada Vasser.

Anthony:

And Anthony Brinson. And this is All Shades of Chocolate, where we bring

Shakyra:

The sweetest,

Jada:

the hottest,

All hosts :

black culture at MSU.

Anthony:

little rusty. I even know we have a a recording. But, bro, nothing to do with this episode for the day. Why we don't why why why why you start talking about cartoons? And how a matter of fact, Jada, can you would somebody explain the context?

Anthony:

Just not her.

Jada:

even know what she said. She was talking about cartoons wearing the same outfit every day. Then when you die, your ghost wear the outfit you died in.

Shakyra:

She said she would hate that for

Jada:

after her death. That fit. And I'm like, that led you to death?

Anthony:

But she makes I mean and she is Elle. Shout out Elle, by the way.

Jada:

Her and my team. No.

Elle:

Y'all did not let me cook.

Elle:

I was just saying if I died in an ugly fit, that would really suck because then I'm stuck in that.

Anthony:

The editor in me appreciates how loud you're talking because I can hear you clearly.

Elle:

I've always talked.

Jada:

No way.

Elle:

No. In theater, I was, like, the one kid who didn't need the mic.

Anthony:

Period. That's all dope. To reuse a going deeper joke, welcome back to the most consistent podcast prior to State News News Network.

Anthony:

we are.

Jada:

We are back to the award winning podcast right now.

Anthony:

Let's cook

All hosts :

it out. Hold on. Hold on. Let's do it.

Anthony:

Matter of fact, listen. Let's cook it.

Jada:

You better recognize it. Okay?

Anthony:

Shout out to us. But regardless of consistency, good or bad, I'm really grateful to be back for this specific episode. Because this month, if you guys are not aware, is women's history month. Yes. We had Shakyra on.

Anthony:

She kinda doing double duty. We had her for our, last episode of going deeper talking about similar talk topic, talking about it from, obviously, sex and love perspective. And now I want to do my best to provide a platform with Jada and Shakira to talk about it from a black woman's perspective. So just how y'all feeling this Women's History Month in general to start off?

Shakyra:

It feels good. I'm glad that more people is recognizing the beauty of Women History Month because growing up, I really didn't notice that it was, you know, the significance of Women History Month until, like, maybe a couple years ago. So I'm really appreciating that more people is actually recognizing and just, you know, spreading awareness and things like that.

Jada:

Yeah. I agree. I'm glad it's becoming more of a thing. And I hate to say becoming more of a thing, but I'm glad it's being, like, recognized and noticed more. Kinda like what Shakira said, like, a few years ago, it might have been like something I saw, like, oh, happy Women's History Month.

Jada:

But now I feel like people are researching researching and, you know, just doing their, like, civic duty of, like, finding information out for themselves, highlighting women during this history month, highlighting black women during this history month. And I just feel like it's another month of representation. You know, it was just Black History Month. Now we can keep the highlight going in March.

Shakyra:

Imagine being black and a woman.

Anthony:

Y'all eating. Eating for real.

Shakyra:

But no. Yeah.

Anthony:

And just with being the guy in general and, sorry. Ale sent me something that might be useful, with this episode. But, just with being a guy in general, obviously, guys can be very clueless just in general. But in terms especially in terms of how we view women in terms of, like, what should and shouldn't be done or what should or shouldn't be worn or how y'all should even speak or really if how y'all have control over your bodies, whole another conversation. But with one of the questions I had, just to start off, I wanna ask, with being black women during this time, how do you feel about the idea of Women's History Month just in general of it being a thing?

Anthony:

Like, on one end, does it become frustrating that there needs to be a month to highlight women in general? Or is it something that it has, like, a positive impact on, like, the universal care a woman makes a woman may experience in this world?

Shakyra:

Well, as I said in your, in your podcast, your previous podcast, I just feel like it's just the first step in appreciating women in general, you know. And it's just like all it just take is like a little, you know, Instagram post share, you know, about, you know, who is the most successful, you know, woman in our, you know, world and things like that. So I don't really me personally, I don't see it as a negative thing. I personally feel like it's a positive thing to have a month, you know, to highlight us and things like that.

Jada:

So Mhmm. Yeah. I agree. I definitely think it's it's definitely a positive thing and I hope that it continues to become a positive thing to where, like, it'd be like just like as heavy as black history month taught in schools, it could be taught in schools during March. It could be specific, like, classroom assignments or just events going on that are tailored to the month.

Jada:

And like Shakira said, it's basically a month to just, you know, highlight successful women, you know, inspiring women, maybe a woman you have in your family that you really, really look up to, or, you know, someone who's just at the top that you wanna shout out for the month of March and highlight. And I think it's really good for black women, specifically and historically, because now people are really starting to get interested in black women leaders and black women in history who have made change to everyday stuff people use now. You know? We can think about hair. Like, we have a hair episode, madam c j Walker.

Jada:

All she's done for hair care. Like, people are really starting to get into these people's stories Even though we already knew about them, now the whole world is starting to learn about them.

Shakyra:

Like, people just now learning about what Coretta Scott did. Like, usually Yes. When you hear Coretta Scott, you just think about doctor King. Like, of course, doctor King, you know, he he did everything for our community. But, you know, everybody, we were just like, yeah.

Shakyra:

Coretta did also did x y z too.

Jada:

So let's

Shakyra:

give her her flowers as well.

Anthony:

If you can expound upon x y and z, because I also don't. I'm not aware of what Coretta Scott, has done for our community. It's typeety type type type type type type. Shout out HP to computer. Alright.

Jada:

Don't do that. No both guys. I got a h t t. Oh, okay. No.

Shakyra:

Because somebody in our, workspace was coming for me for my laptop, but it's alright.

Jada:

Yeah. Call him out. Call him.

All hosts :

He wasn't coming for you. He at HP, he was coming for you because it

Shakyra:

Sorry.

Anthony:

As Shakira looks for that, Jada, you mentioned one of the, ladies I wanted to highlight in this episode. Just out of CJ Walker. Just with us having an episode, one of the episodes that maybe even got us our award of don't touch my hair and the importance of black hair and what it may mean to us other than just a style. Just off the top

Jada:

of your head,

Anthony:

and you could do more research just like Shakyra doing if you'd want to, but just what does first of all, what is madam CJ Walker? Why is she important? And then what does her impact to our community mean to you specifically as someone who wears, like, protective hairstyles or have had to do things with your hair and etcetera?

Jada:

Yeah. No. The journey she went through, it means a lot to me, especially just having the ability to express myself through my hair and just have the ability to, like, do my hair the way I want it, where I wanna wear whether if I wanna wear it natural, if I wanna get my braids a certain color. She just paved the way for a lot and I know it was hard when she was doing it because, you know, any idea a black person can bring up if it's not usual to the majority, it's deemed as unusual, unworthy, you know, something we just won't do. But it's these people like madame CJ Walker, Coretta Scott, MLK, Malcolm X, you know, people we could throw out just in black history in general and then more specifically black women that stay consistent.

Jada:

Because once something gets hard, people fall off and then you say, oh, they tried, but then, you know, it never really went into fruition. But these people really kept it going. They are the leaders that I like to look up to, you know, the things that I can do freely now. I know they got hated on and talked about for even something as simple as natural hair care products and things you can do to manage your hair. It's it's crazy to even think about it.

Jada:

It kinda comes full circle because it's crazy thing when we did the episode and we were talking about even still some of the stigmas people have with our hair. But to compare the stigmas of then to now, like, I couldn't even imagine what it was like bringing things up like this during, like, the beginning. Like, the creation of it, pretty much. Mhmm. So I know that part had to be probably one of the hardest thing ever.

Jada:

Like, it's hard now, but even to think about making this product for your people, trying to present it to your people, and then you still have, like, the majority telling you, you know, this is a waste. It's not about to be sold in my store. You're not gonna sell it here. You can't sell it to this family. We're not gonna buy it.

Jada:

And yet it's still being sold today. Mhmm. Like, the beginning products of which she made is being sold. Of course, we have. And then it's crazy thing because now we have, like, Miele and, well, the the other hair is Shea Moisture.

Jada:

Yep.

Shakyra:

Honey pot.

Jada:

Honey yes. We have all those products. All those brands that started from that one woman staying consistent. Now we have options.

Jada:

then it was just her. Preaching. Everybody. Mhmm. So it's it's just amazing to me.

Jada:

And it's so I I wanna do more research to, like, keep learning about these people because they're so influential that people don't even recognize that they use their products today. Yeah. In your everyday routine, you're using, you know, Madame CJ Walker products.

Anthony:

And I remember from my notes when we were making our, pitch for this episode that just doing research about madam CJ Walker and even someone I wasn't even familiar with her, Annie Turnbull Malone. She was someone who madame CJ Walker worked under. And this lady, she, according to the research I did, created products such as, like, the hot comb and worked with madam CJ Walker.

Shakyra:

Do that, actually.

Anthony:

Me neither. Worked with madam CJ Walker, who worked under miss Malone and also did things such as develop hair treatment products after apparently suffering from a scalp disorder herself.

Shakyra:

So, like, alopecia or it didn't

Anthony:

I didn't see any specifications, but it probably was along the lines of alopecia or things of that nature. But I didn't even know, like, madam CJ Walker, like, had a hair disorder or, like, she worked under somebody like Annie or maybe miss Malone. So just finding out those little things as if, like because sometimes they highlight as that TikTok sound in the background comes on the mic. But, as I don't even know it sounded fire, though. It sounded

All hosts :

like fire. Right. I'm

Jada:

like, I'm feeling it.

All hosts :

That's the way how you did.

Shakyra:

He just came on

Jada:

at the

Anthony:

Shout out to sims.

Anthony:

Oh, dude. But to even use that, it even when we get into modern times of thinking, like, the young lady who made, like, the savage trend. Like, I'm a savage.

Jada:

I asked you

Jada:

eyes. What? Wait.

Anthony:

Like, her being a black lady who started that trend, and then it getting to, like, obviously, Megan Thee Stallion song and then doing a song with Beyonce and then bringing it all together to where whether it's madam the madam CJ Walkers or the young lady I'm of, can't can't remember her name right now, starting that trend on, social media. Just being a representation of culture is just so awesome to me. And it's why I always I very frequently given credit to Jada and Shakira of of just me being here. Like, I can tell the story a 1000000 times of how Shakira allowed me to have this position. Samaya believed in me to hire me.

Anthony:

Jada and Shakyra and Samaya was on my head to, like, come to this thing, like, do the application. Like and I'm literally was like, nah. I'm I I do it. I do it. Like, no.

Anthony:

Do it right now. And then I did it, and then now I'm here. So I wouldn't have this opportunity without a black woman. Literally, my own mother who birthed me wouldn't be here without obviously the Lord Jesus Christ and then my mom birthing me. So just in general, even in the Bible, even Mary, another, powerful woman.

Anthony:

She wasn't born. We don't know what the race of those people in the Bible. But regardless of the situation, when it comes to women and the importance of women in this world, I mean, lyric if you wanna go to music, I mean, it's a man's world, but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl. So Mhmm. Especially when it comes to black women, I just give a big thank you to y'all in general.

Anthony:

And even to the people, like, I mean, even though obviously she's not black, I give credit to people like Elle, who, thanks to her, going deeper is she's a huge reason why going deeper exists.

Shakyra:

So UN is so sexy.

Anthony:

As a guest.

Anthony:

Shout out to Sims. Hello. Another game

Anthony:

in the community that hold us down.

Elle:

turned it off. I have no idea why it came back on.

Anthony:

It wants to be heard. Absolutely.

Anthony:

I might give you credit in the transcriptions. Insert Sims style.

Jada:

Insert Sims style.

Anthony:

Speaking from a black journalist perspective who has a platform to speak about things like this on your mind, what would be some of the things you both feel are misinterpreted about black women? And what are some of the responsibilities you both uphold or you feel you have to uphold just from being a black woman?

Jada:

That's a good question.

Shakyra:

That is.

Jada:

I feel like the main thing, which is probably one of the biggest stereotypes about black women, is that all of us are aggressive and loud and ghetto and have no values or morals and say certain catch phrases that you know. So that would probably be the the biggest thing I say with, like, my work is being a journalist that I try to denounce as much as possible, especially the way I write. I try to make sure I'm clear. I try to make sure I speak with a language that I know not only my people can understand, but like if I'm applying for a job, I speak, you know, academically, you know. I pull out my little bags that I've acquired being a journalist.

Jada:

And but the biggest thing I feel like I probably wanna just change the narrative of is women in general can do it too.

Shakyra:

I agree.

Jada:

There's nothing that separates us at all. We can do everything that you as a black man can do, that a white man can do, that anybody can do. There's nothing that takes us in the back roads or takes us away. There's no line or barrier we'll reach. We can do it too.

Jada:

One of the biggest things being in journalism. We can do this too. Yeah. Because this is a very white populated and at some level white man populated field. So when you reach a level to where you hit that point where they're like, no, you can't be on TV.

Jada:

You can't be on TV with your hair like that, with your nails like that, with the black scent you got. You can't talk like that on yes. You can. Mhmm. There's a news TV outlet that will accept you for who you are, and you will be on camera.

Jada:

So that's kind of the biggest thing is that there's no you don't have to change anything about you just to fit what you wanna do. Because I'm definitely still me. You still see I have color in my hair. I always have color in my hair when I get braids. I'll never really change my dialect that much unless I know that you can't understand me.

Jada:

So, of course, there's gonna be some words that'll come across and you'll be like, like, what is this? Or I may say something that don't resonate well with some groups of people. So, you know, I try to change it up. I try to make sure I'm polite as possible, but that's still me, You know? That still resonates with who I wanna be, the journalist I wanna become.

Jada:

And, yeah, basically, showing all the little black girls that wanna be on TV. Like, I know Shakiya wants to be on TV entertainment or all little black girls that wanna work in production like I do. Like, there's don't listen to the people that say you can't do it because you can't. Mhmm. Because I'm doing it.

Jada:

So you can too.

Shakyra:

Dang, Jada. You've basically hit all the points that I was thinking about. You know? But, like, yeah, like what Jada said, it's the main thing of just about us being aggressive. And I was just, like, talking to, like, my auntie.

Shakyra:

She's in the social work industry or, like, the field and things like that. And sometimes it's just a point in our lives where me and her well, and other women in general just kinda get, like, overwhelmed by our environment. And sometimes we do not wanna talk to people and just wanna be by ourselves. And people would constantly deem us as, like, oh, she have an attitude problem or she thinks she's better than us. And it's just like, no.

Shakyra:

That's not what we're trying to do. It's just that what if I don't know. Like, what if we're just not having a good day? Just because I don't wanna talk to anybody. And I and it's like it's not like I won't let you know that.

Shakyra:

Like, I will, like, literally let you know, like, okay. I don't wanna talk. It's just the fact it's just a problem that people just constantly assume that we have attitudes. That's my problem. And it's just like, no.

Shakyra:

Not all of us we don't have attitudes just because we don't wanna talk or just because we don't wanna be, you know, asocial, if that makes sense.

Anthony:

So So then I wanna ask both of y'all, just in your opinion, how do y'all create that balance of, like, one of the main things in really black culture, but especially black women, is like a resting face of, like, if you just really just

Jada:

chilling Arrested me face?

Anthony:

Yeah. That's what arrested face of, like, if you're just looking regular, all of a sudden, you mad or Oh. Trying to just That

Shakyra:

was the main problem for me growing up, honestly. I used to that was, like, my number one thing I used to get in trouble as a kid for because my face they be like, fix your face.

Jada:

This is like, bro, I'm just sitting here. Like, what?

Anthony:

And then even when it comes to, like, confidence of trying to have that balance of expressing yourself no matter what, but then also not trying to be deemed as too flamboyant or doing extra. Even with speaking, just going from not wanting to be deemed as the quiet kid and just minding your own business. Like, especially just as black women, how would how do y'all feel y'all bal do the balancing act?

Jada:

I mean, I feel like with me, I just have to remember that there's only one me and there always will be one me. Yeah. So all I have to do is just be the best me that I can and you'll either take it or you'll leave it.

Jada:

can't force you to take me and I can't force you to leave me. So it just comes to where I get in, like, certain fields or, you know, if you work with certain people, you just have to understand, okay. Is this a place that I can be me and will they accept me? Because I feel like being black in general, but more specifically a black woman, there's you know in spaces where you're not welcome. And you know you get to spaces where you were not invited, but they'll take you because you're black or you'll fit the quota or they need someone that looks like you for the audience that looks like you, so they'll take you.

Jada:

But in retrospect, they don't want nothing to do with you. So with me, I just feel like I really have to do your research and, you know, really figure out what place is just meant for me because I've tried the changing me. I've tried the changing little things about me or, you know, it's like being quiet. I tried, like, the speaking out more or speaking out in a way that I know doesn't even sound like me, but I tried to do it because I thought that's what business is what we want. I thought that's what bosses would want.

Jada:

I thought they would look at the people that always raised their hand or look at the people that always wanted to speak first and not last and speak the longest. But it got to a point where I was like, this this isn't gonna sound like me. I don't even recognize what I'm saying right now. So I really just had to continue to run remind my association about to graduate college and become a senior. It's just like, low.

Jada:

If they want me, they want me. If they don't, they don't. And that's, like, the biggest advice I can give people and just remind myself is, like, you'll find where you're meant to be. Even if it takes years of searching, you'll get there. Exactly.

Jada:

Settle for because don't settle for the first yes. Because the first yes might always be the best yes.

Shakyra:

Mhmm. So Yeah. I think Jamelle Hill actually said that

Jada:

in her

Shakyra:

opinion. But, yeah, it's just all about being yourself, honestly. Don't change for nobody else. I mean, like what Jada said, I mean, you're gonna either gonna take me, or you're gonna leave

Shakyra:

me where you at. I mean, it's your choice. Me? I know I'm gonna be good regardless.

Jada:

So Regardless. Regardless.

Anthony:

So I asked this question on going deeper, and I'd obviously like to ask it here as well. But based on how men may view women at times, especially black women, how would you both prefer to be viewed on a grand scale from the world and specifically from men in terms of how y'all should dress or how y'all should act versus how do y'all feel is the perspective? Like, how how do you feel y'all are viewed from men in general or just by the world? And how would y'all prefer to be

Shakyra:

Well, if I want to be blunt, we are viewed as animals. I mean, as a mean person, as not even a person that sometimes I mean and I've mostly blamed sometimes the media for it. You know? Mhmm. I mean Mhmm.

Shakyra:

You just hear it in our music. I mean, I ain't go out.

Shakyra:

I ain't go out. So many music we I mean,

Jada:

it'd be it'd be good. I ain't be able to

Shakyra:

I like entertainment, of course. But it's just that I don't know. It's just the stigma in a black community where we I personally feel like that we don't really get taken seriously. Mhmm. And our film is never heard and never, you know, like, valued and things like that.

Anthony:

You use a lot of words. And I agree with you. I don't access to a formal argument, but just like animals or being, like, misunderstood. Could are you able to more explain harsh

Shakyra:

when I say animals. No. But, like

Anthony:

just could are you able to explain in general just what do you mean

Shakyra:

Like, we just get mistreated a lot to the point where it's just, like, we are not even being treated as a human. Like, I can't really explain it. I just feel like you have to be us to get it, if that makes sense.

Anthony:

I got an interesting question, I'd like you to answer as well, Jada. But specifically, Shakyra, for you, since you're in the entertainment

Anthony:

industry, how do you feel it should be handled in terms of, like because sometimes they say things like sex sales, for example. Being proud in your sexuality and showing your body

Shakyra:

and being proud

Anthony:

to show it versus the alternative?

Shakyra:

Me, personally, I just feel like, as an entertainer, just do what you wanna do. You know? People's always gonna talk and things like that. If you feel like you wanna flourish or flaunt your sexuality, you have all the world to do that. Nobody can tell you what to do.

Anthony:

Mhmm.

Shakyra:

I mean, that's just simple as it as it get. Personally, for me. So yeah. Yeah.

Anthony:

And then Jada, do you all need me to repeat the question, Rethink?

Jada:

Oh, yes. You repeat that question.

Anthony:

So, the first part of it was just, if I were to symbolize it, how do you feel you are viewed by in the world or by black men as a black woman? And then how would you prefer to be viewed, like, just in general from your values or, like, what you would like to do, like, in the household or how do you like to be viewed, like, outfit wise, etcetera, etcetera?

Jada:

Yeah. I feel like you brought up a good point about, like, the media and just, like, in, like, songs and stuff. I feel like the media still, even to this day in 2024, has only one view or image of what black is. And then they subject every black person into that box To

Shakyra:

that one person.

Jada:

Into that bubble. And then you get the things wearing comedy. They just make jokes about black women and, you know, in the bonnet and the robe and, you know, they say certain things. And, yes, it's funny, but they don't understand that they're feeding into an agenda. Mhmm.

Jada:

A a society agenda that's always gonna label black women as that as that person because no one's stopping the people that's at the butt of the jokes, or no one's stopping the people that's, like, even writing the jokes. You know, get get down nitty gritty to the script writing Mhmm. Of who's actually writing what those people on stage are gonna say. So I feel like it's gonna take society to erase that box, which I don't think they ever wrote about black people in general. But more simply about black women, it's just gonna take it's just gonna take people viewing us as people.

Jada:

And which I feel like, of course, historically, it's gotten better, but we're still not at the level we should be, especially the way the media talks about black women and black people in general. The language and the word choice that's used to talk about, let's say, people in the media that, like, represent relationships in one way and then other relationships in another way. The way that love is supposed to be or the good love is shattered. It's crushed. It's basically torn down that you being a simp.

Jada:

You not you know what I'm saying? Oh, why you cheating your girl good? Why you doing that? But then you get the other side of the black woman that's, like, always in drama, always causing problems, always making stuff up, just always in the shade room, Instagram, you know, those pages like that Yeah. Because of what they do, but that's praised.

Jada:

That's the black woman that we need to keep because that's what's getting people to look at our page. That's what's keeping us paid.

Shakyra:

Yeah. It's fine. Need

Jada:

to keep finding the

Shakyra:

man. Foolishness. Exactly.

Jada:

They're funding the foolishness, but that's not helping the regular degular black girls on the street or at college. Yeah. Then now people expect us to act like that. So then when you act like the other, they like, oh, you whitewashed. You're not black.

Jada:

That's not how black girls act.

Shakyra:

And it's just like how the hood black girls supposed to

Jada:

How do we supposed to act?

Shakyra:

I'm confused. Let's talk about it.

Jada:

Exactly. And how would you know if you're not black? Exactly. Whole other conversation. But then that's I feel like that's where all of this stems, especially in the age of social media.

Jada:

If if one group or race or whatever is depicted this way, everybody's gonna believe it. That's just how social media works. You see one video, oh, you think that person on the bus who looks like that is gonna act like that. Mhmm. So I feel like it's gonna take that level of change to really, like, make it, like, no.

Jada:

Like, for it to be evident. But just in, like, everyday personal life with me, like I said earlier, as long as I'm me, there's no man, no woman, no I don't care what you is. There's nothing you do to change who I am or what I'm gonna be. So you're really just talking to yourself because

Jada:

Do you think I care about a man's opinion

Shakyra:

See, that's why I said

Jada:

on what? On their podcast, I was like, it's none of your business on how validation from men. On how

Shakyra:

I'm being perceived by guys.

Jada:

New leader. I don't walk this earth for you. I don't do nothing I do for you. I do it for me. Because at the end of the day, it's like if you're not paying me, what you talking to me for?

Jada:

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You're not signing my checks. What you talking to

Jada:

me for? Okay. I can't be

Jada:

selling my

Jada:

own checks.

Jada:

So let's let's not even get into that. I'm a sign my own checks.

Anthony:

So So then I'm a ask both of you a question. I'm poking at y'all a little bit.

Jada:

Alright. I am.

Jada:

I'm gonna be

Anthony:

I did say serious questions.

Jada:

We don't hit up. We don't hit up. No. No.

Jada:

I generally wanna ask.

Anthony:

So then when it become when it gets into situations where now you are in relationships with men, you are in a relationship and then you are not.

Jada:

And I'm single.

Anthony:

So I would like to ask both perspectives in terms of how do you balance having that mindset, but still being in a relationship with a man In terms of, like, does your

Jada:

I'm a

Anthony:

I'm a still like

Shakyra:

the 50 fifties time.

Jada:

No. No. No. Not that.

Anthony:

But just like, in terms of like, are you still like, for example, whether it be biblically or sometimes naturally they say you should be more submissive to your male partners or things of that nature.

Jada:

I mean,

Jada:

shoot. Do you do

Anthony:

you follow those type of standards?

Jada:

Or how

Anthony:

do you navigate being a black woman in a relationship with a black man? Yeah.

Jada:

I got you. I know.

Jada:

I got you.

Jada:

Well, first things first. In my relationship, there's no control over the other person.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Jada:

He doesn't control me. I don't control him. He's still an individual person. I'm still my own individual person. So I still have to walk this path of being Jada Vassar

Jada:

Mhmm.

Jada:

While being with my boyfriend. Mhmm. You know? So and with still being me, I still have to make sure I'm paying attention to what I like to do, what I wanna become, who I wanna become, because I'll become me with or without him.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Jada:

You know? I'm still gonna become who I wanna be. So I always have to remind myself of that. And, you know, I have I when I say this attitude, I mainly have it where I know I have to walk into places where I have to be a 110 percent confident. Mhmm.

Jada:

Because if I'm not, they gonna pick at it and they go notice and I'm never gonna get where I wanna be. Mhmm. So I have to walk with that hill held up so high because I know somebody's gonna try to shoot it down. Mhmm. You know?

Shakyra:

And that's another thing they don't like about most black women.

Jada:

Exactly. Because of

Shakyra:

have confidence, but they come off as, oh, you you boojies and you all that. And it's just like, no.

Jada:

Oh, you got everything going on. I do.

Jada:

I do got everything going on. I do. Right? Do.

Jada:

Because you didn't wanna give it to me, so I got it for myself. Exactly.

Shakyra:

I do. Exactly.

Jada:

Exactly. And then I also get sent to, you know, you just had to know who you're with. Like, my boyfriend, I know that, like, he wants me to walk around like that.

Shakyra:

Exactly.

Jada:

Like, he don't want him to be the reason that I'm not

Shakyra:

telling you that. Exactly.

Jada:

Being my true self. He's like, no. Do it because you could you deserve it. He's telling me, like, walk like that. He get mad when I don't.

Jada:

I'm like, don't think about me. I'm just an asset. I'm an extra. You still you. You know what I'm saying?

Jada:

But that's what I love about him because it's like, he's uplifting me even you know what I'm saying? Other people's like, no. Why you always telling her to do that? Why you let her dress like that? Why you let her wear that?

Jada:

It's like, he don't care about that. It's trust. He don't like going nowhere. He not going nowhere.

Shakyra:

Exactly.

Jada:

So we can still live our life. It's time to got far. I'm about to be 21.

Shakyra:

Me who got away

Jada:

from September. Okay. But it's coming, though. You know? It's just it's just the balance of trust and then, you know, still being able to be, like, who you wanna be.

Jada:

And especially with him being a black man, he knows, like, couldn't be complaining. But he knows, like, you know, everything black woman goes through and, like, just like the way he's handling the relationship, how other maybe his black male friends don't handle their relationships. That's a whole other thing. Mhmm. How black men treat black women.

Jada:

So that's also not the best.

Shakyra:

Oh, yeah.

Jada:

That's what I

Shakyra:

was talking about

Jada:

earlier. I

Anthony:

love y'all's call

Jada:

because he's.

Jada:

Yeah. He already knows that, and he's trying to change that narrative. So that starts with, you know, what you wanna do with your relationship. You know what I'm saying? So he's, like, he's distributing that.

Shakyra:

Yeah. I just personally feel like it's just all about respect at the

Jada:

end of the day.

Shakyra:

And I because the worst submissive, I personally feel like most guys, they think submissive is, oh, my woman gotta obey me at all times. And it's just like, you are not a dog or anything. Like, no. What? We are not a dog.

Shakyra:

We are a person.

Jada:

We have

Shakyra:

our own mindset. We have our own personality. Like, come on now. Can you just respect that, please? And I

Jada:

respect yours.

Shakyra:

Exactly. You know?

Anthony:

And like I mentioned, I love them as cohosts because they transition right perfectly into one of the things I wanna talk about. So as to give one of my secrets of just a Anthony isms, a lot of things I do

Jada:

are Anthony.

Anthony:

I call them Anthony isms. But a lot of things I try and do or say are intentional. And the reason why I poke fun at that question, I asked them about their perspective of being with, a black man that's in a relationship is 1, you could say why someone can be in being in an almost 4 year relationship, on why it works almost 5 year excuse me.

Jada:

On why

Anthony:

it works the way it works and how does it last 5 years and how can someone represent themselves while still being with someone. Mhmm. And also, you mentioned perfectly of just one of the topics of sometimes how black men treat black women. And I've had a lot of conversations with people in terms of the difference between when black men date white women and versus when black women date white men in terms of from my perspective. And as I have a white woman in here pointing at me in agreements.

Anthony:

So I wanna get your opinion on this conversation. So my end, usually when I have this conversation with people, the shared opinion is usually when black men date white women, it seems more of like control. Like, they kinda want that

Jada:

to be

Anthony:

in control where it's like they complain black women are too aggressive or they wanna be divided.

Shakyra:

And they don't wanna submit they don't wanna submit They don't

Jada:

wanna listen to me. They wanna do their own thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Shakyra:

Versus They don't make me feel manly. Like, what?

Anthony:

Versus when and to put a disclaimer, A, these are just the opinions of myself and other 2. They're all shaded chocolate.

Shakyra:

These are.

Anthony:

And also, this is not a generalized statement.

Shakyra:

It's not.

Anthony:

So, and then, versus when black women date white men, it's usually appreciation. Like, white men usually appreciate them a lot more or in the comparison to black men, just sometimes how some black men treat black women. So I wanna ask y'all thoughts on that topic in general and just how do y'all feel about the treatment that y'all may get from some black women and black men at

Jada:

times? I

Shakyra:

don't know. Because, honestly, I just personally feel like the treatment of black men or just, like, men in general, I just feel like that it starts at home. And I only say that because I mean, unfortunately, not all of us have that male figure in our lives.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Shakyra:

Or our let me rephrase that. Like, our dad. But, you know, you can still have, like, other male figures, like uncles, For, like, how you think you should be treated by a black man. Mhmm.

Jada:

So it

Shakyra:

just like I don't know. Like, you just have to have that figured. Like, it just starts at home, in my opinion. Like, you gotta your dad or whoever that's raising you or helping raise you have to let you know, like, yeah. This is how it should be.

Shakyra:

That's not the other stuff, you should not take. I was about to cut, but this is the that other stuff, you should not take that. You should, you know, know how to want to be treated by a certain person and things like that. Not even just men, just people in general personally. So yeah.

Jada:

Yeah. No. I definitely agree with that. And I think that's something that I feel like the black community as a whole doesn't really talk about a lot. Yeah.

Jada:

I feel like our generation is the generation that's wanting to, like, embark on those generational curses and traumas that we've dealt with from childhood up until adulthood. Because that's very true. Like, if you grow up, like, for example, it's also a stereotype, but it's also something that's very true. A lot of black kids don't grow up with fathers in their households, or they don't grow up in 2 parent households. So if you grow up with a very strong mother and a mother that's independent and she does what she wants and she gets it done, you still don't have that figure to show you what you deserve.

Jada:

And that type of sense that that makes sense. And I'm kinda making it personal because I grew up with a very strong independent mother, but I knew that I lacked in that aspect because even before getting with my boyfriend, I didn't know what I wanted. Or I didn't know what I could what I deserved or what I could

Jada:

look for.

Shakyra:

That's what I meant.

Jada:

You know? Because I didn't have nobody there, especially when I was, like, a little girl or, like, even middle school was starting to get into high school before, me and my boyfriend started dating, my junior year of high school to tell me, like, no. Don't let them treat you like this. If they say this, this means that. Don't fall for that.

Jada:

So a lot of times, you know, you get played. You know, your heart get hurt because you didn't have nobody to warn you. Yeah. And I grew up in a house of all girls. Yeah.

Jada:

I grew in a house of all girls. So, of course, you know, I have my older sister, my mama, telling me to watch out for these boys, but I never really had that male figure to be like, no. Back in my day, I got you too. So don't listen to them because they lying. You know?

Shakyra:

My granddad. Okay. And then sometimes I don't wanna be listening. I'll be like, okay.

Jada:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jada:

I feel like but I feel like that's the story for a lot of people. And I feel like sometimes you don't learn it until you're grown or until you go through something like that or dealing with just a really abusive black man or just a man or woman in general. Yeah. And it really sometimes it takes the hardest thing to, like, get people to realize, and some people realize and it's too late. So I feel like a lot of times with people just dating outside of their race in general, I don't know.

Jada:

I have a lot of friends that date outside of their race and sometimes they say they look for it as an escape almost.

Jada:

They look

Jada:

for it as an escape to do something new or just not be faulted for wanting to stay inside your race or, you know, be faulted. Or I don't know if y'all parents or family ever told y'all saying don't bring no white boy home or don't bring no white girl home.

Shakyra:

My gosh.

Jada:

Like, I think my husband said

Shakyra:

that as a joke though.

Jada:

Yeah. My god. I definitely heard it a few times. No.

Shakyra:

She always said, like, black love is the best love, which is is. It is. Most definitely. But

Jada:

But you don't have to limit yourself. Yeah. Even things like that, like, that's set up for, like, your question about, like, black men dating white woman. I'm sure a lot of people heard or black men specifically be like, hey. Don't bring no white girl in my house.

Jada:

Like, we don't do that. We don't you don't don't date no white woman. But, you know, even if you don't have nobody talking about like that, it's just certain things I think people go through that lead them to do that. But I feel like it's also a weird just I don't wanna say fetish or just everybody wanna know why a black man go with a white woman and really wanna get deep into it. Now some cases, it's crazy.

Jada:

Some of y'all is crazy.

Jada:

Yeah.

Jada:

But in some cases, you may just find who you wanna be with, and they white. You know what I'm saying?

Jada:

But I

Jada:

feel like as a community, we don't have to just banish that or just throw that away Mhmm. Because you don't know who you can fall in love with. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Yeah.

Jada:

And it even sucks for, like, the true black men who just find love in a white woman that it's not as or it's not to the standard of, like you said, when a black woman goes to a white man, and it's like, oh my god. He treats you like a queen, a black queen, which, okay.

Jada:

And then And

Jada:

then we can talk about, like, a black queen and I don't know. Like, just just say, you know, like

Shakyra:

my woman. I I don't

Jada:

know. Right. Like the extra The natural zone. I don't know. Right.

Shakyra:

Me personally.

Jada:

But it's just like, yeah. I feel like then that's tied to my early answer just then that's the media. Because, you know, black men is like that in the media all the time. That's all you see about black men. So, So, of course, that's all people are gonna think about black men.

Jada:

And even with black women in general who go with white men, that's all you see about how good he treats them, how good, you know, he wants to learn the culture and they have mixed babies and, you know, how much he takes care of them, does their hair, and things like that, which is good. But it still should be that same level of just attention and respect for both parties. Yes. Now, like I said, if it's a crazy situation, that's different. I'm not talking about that.

Jada:

I'm just talking about the people who generally just find love outside of their race. Like, why is that so hard to understand? Like, it happens. It happens it happens to most people. Yeah.

Jada:

And most people are truly happy with that person.

Shakyra:

Right. Because even my own dad, he is currently he's been dating, my little sibling's mother for 6 years now, and she's not black. She's Native American and well, I think she's no. She's white, actually. So yeah.

Shakyra:

But it's just like, I never had no issues with it

Jada:

Right.

Shakyra:

Versus my granddad. He was like, I don't know about this. You know? He was like, not sure. He didn't really like her for real.

Shakyra:

I mean, now my perception of her kinda changed, but that's a different story. But, yeah, I agree with what you said. Like Yeah. You know, just love who you love, bro.

Jada:

Right, brother.

Shakyra:

But just respect everybody.

Jada:

Love everybody. Yeah. Do not discriminate.

Shakyra:

No. We don't. Pissed up. Especially me. Okay.

Jada:

And, again, to give

Anthony:

the disclaimer, the disclaimer, the opinions that we make sure on this podcast are the opinions

Jada:

of our

Anthony:

and the chocolate, not of the state news. And also with that, disclaimer to ask, what would you guys to give a moment of, so it won't seem like we're bashing on, just black men in general.

Shakyra:

Oh, yeah.

Anthony:

You both mentioned, and I also agree that black love is very magical and one of the most beautiful things you could experience. So why do you both feel that way in terms of being with a black man? And also, let's say, if you are dating and you may not have had the best experiences with black men, still keeping that faith in them to try and find that black partner?

Shakyra:

Well, because even though some of, you know, black men does cause hell. I'm sorry. Y'all I don't know. Some people, they just be it's just that at the end of the day, y'all understand us.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Shakyra:

Like, I don't have to explain why I'm doing a certain thing, you know, that they're not used to. Yeah. You just know. And it's just like I don't know. Like, you just feel comfortable with Yeah.

Shakyra:

Our own race. Like yeah. Mhmm.

Jada:

Yeah. I definitely agree with that answer. And it's that that's actually a part I didn't think about. Like, you just get it. Like, it's certain things or a certain, like, way we talk.

Jada:

There's nothing really to explain about it. It's just you just get it. Like

Shakyra:

Like, of course, I'm not gonna, like, have any issues explaining it to my partner who is a different race or ethnicity. You know?

Jada:

Yeah. Yeah.

Shakyra:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jada:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But even for me, it just kinda goes into, like, when I have kids and, like, just the example of, like, the family life I wanna give them because like I said, I didn't grow up in a 2 parent household. My dad was active at one point and then became in and out at another.

Jada:

So I grew up with a really, really strong mother. Love you, mama. But I wanna set the example for my kids of having a father figure in their life, a active father figure in their life. You know, I wanna set that home of having a mom and a dad that may not always agree, but you'll know that they love each other. And I want them to look like us.

Jada:

I want them to be black. So I wanna I wanted to date a black man because a good black man who had the same values as me and who wanted to change where they came from.

Jada:

Because, you

Jada:

know, my boyfriend's family life isn't perfect, so there's some things that he knew he didn't wanna do when he became a dad. And there's some things that I don't even wanna do when I become a mom. But together, when we get to that step, we've had conversations and we know that we'll work through it together so that when we do have kids, it won't be like not a rush, but it'll just be a different tone. Because I will say even with me growing up, like, being a kid, like, you notice stuff or you notice all, like, you know, people respond to certain questions or just things like that. Stuff you grew up too early.

Jada:

You see stuff that you weren't supposed to really worry about as a child.

Jada:

Yeah.

Jada:

I don't want that for my kids. You know? I truly want my kids to be kids when they're kids and don't have to worry about nothing else besides being a child, getting on my nerves, and truly just, you know, enjoying their life. And that's just what I wanna showcase for them. I don't want them to see the stuff that I've seen.

Jada:

You know? I don't want them to see, like, arguing and yelling.

Shakyra:

Like, just fighting

Jada:

at some point. I mean,

Shakyra:

I'm just gonna be real.

Jada:

Like, I don't want them to see or be exposed to anything like that that I did that I know shaped my mind and changed the way I think about certain things. I don't want them to experience that. So I but I definitely think being with a black man helps that because, like Shikara said, it's just certain things like the way we talk. I don't have to explain that. You know, the certain phrases I may pick up and say or the shoe talk about hair or a bonnet.

Jada:

Where in a bottle, I wear a bonnet. I don't have to explain that to you because, you know, you wear a durag. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's just stuff that was understood is understood and don't need be said. Mhmm.

Jada:

So it's just of course, it makes things a little bit easier. But I feel like as long as you're with somebody who has the same goals as you, who wants the same end result and future with you, then it don't matter what race day is because you got it.

Shakyra:

That's all.

Jada:

That's all

Jada:

you can ask for the person, really. And that's hard to get these days. Yeah.

Anthony:

And I just feel that's a very beautiful answer because it perfectly both of you all perfectly explained why it's important to maybe be with someone who understands you, or, develop a relationship where some things are just natural instead of having to make it seem uncomfortable or things of that nature. And also I wanna shine, light on y'all too again in terms of one of my next questions of just y'all dynamic. I'm just a fan of the y'all dynamic in terms of how y'all bounce off each other. And then even I've told y'all on a personal level, just I really admire the relationship you 2 have built from how I've known from how long I've known y'all. And I wanna ask about that because sometimes in our community, I noticed especially with black women that whether it's the media or just other parties, other outside entities put y'all against each other.

Anthony:

Like, it's always like, oh, what she got that I don't got or like it maybe if it becomes like a relationship thing of like trying to compete over one another. So just how do you guys how do you guys form a bond and a unison that y'all have versus being in competition? Because we're in a major where we're kinda in competition with one another.

Shakyra:

Yeah.

Anthony:

So how do you guys go like this if we go to the camera? Go like this instead

Jada:

of separate?

Shakyra:

Yeah. Well, me personally, I think it just starts in within yourself, with your own self esteem. Like, you just have to be confident within yourself. You just have to know that you're that girl. So you when you be around another girl that's your age or, you know, mentoring a younger girl, you don't have to you don't should you shouldn't feel, like, threatened by them, you know?

Jada:

Mhmm.

Shakyra:

Yeah. It's just it's just all about being in check within yourself and just knowing how to, you know, conversate. It just, like, I don't know, like, put yourself out there with other people and just, you know, keeping in tune with them.

Anthony:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jada:

And you you can definitely tell who's, like, a supporter and who's not. Yeah. So that also ties into just knowing, be competitive at one point or another with some people. But just take Misha Khan, for example. We wanna do 2 different things with the same major.

Jada:

So that kinda opens up the door to for more, like, you know, supporting. When she gets on TV and she does her entertainment stuff, you know, I could be there like, oh, good job. When I do my production, she'd be like, oh my god. That's so amazing. And it just, if you're just truly a supporter and you're really a girl's girl, as, you know, people say these days, then you're gonna be a girl's girl.

Jada:

Like, you're really just gonna be a supporter. There's nothing hating to it. You know?

Jada:

I you

Jada:

want the best for each other.

Shakyra:

Like Exactly. And I just feel like hating I mean, it it's just a waste of energy personally for me.

Jada:

Yeah. And there's a lot. And then you y'all y'all be hating over some crazy stuff like me personally.

Shakyra:

Over money and, like, over, I don't know, like, hair and stuff like that.

Jada:

Who are we talking about?

Jada:

Like, yeah.

Anthony:

So with specifically you, Shakyra, we mentioned and talked about just your comfort level of making sure you were okay to talk about that. You are a part of the, LGBTQIA plus community. And I just wanna ask you.

Shakyra:

Alright. Come on

Jada:

now. Come on now.

Anthony:

I just wanna ask disclaimer, we are very silly people sometimes. If we make jokes that they are not a

Jada:

racist assistant, just Disclaimer. Disclaimer. I love y'all.

Jada:

Yeah. Everybody.

Anthony:

Try all of us. We all have, not to give out too much personal information, but we all have people in our lives who are part of the

Jada:

community. Yeah. Of course.

Anthony:

We do not mean any offense. So with the question that I'm, thinking about asking you, just how do you feel the world represents black queer women in general? And do you think that

Shakyra:

There's not enough out of us out here.

Anthony:

Okay. Talk about it.

Shakyra:

More specifically in the entertainment industry. So I watch okay. I'm gonna use this show for example. I watch, BMF, Black Mafia Family. If you're from Detroit, you should know them.

Shakyra:

And they just introduced a new queer woman into the series. And, I mean, me, personally, I like her character, but I seen online that people don't really like her character. They was just, like, really critiquing her. Like, okay. So BMF is is a explicit, you know, show.

Shakyra:

If you know their background, you would know why. And, they she had, like, sex scenes and stuff like that. And, you know, queer, you know, and everybody was just like, you know, that was so unnecessary, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, that's just like really hurts my feeling because I'm like, we need more of us out here representing us. Like, okay.

Shakyra:

Gramps it. In this show, you know, it's not the best, you know, role model, of course. But I just personally feel like that we just need to be unapologetically us no matter what. Like, this this can be our space too. This is our space too.

Shakyra:

And there's nothing wrong with that, you know? Mhmm. So I really hope that answers your question.

Anthony:

It definitely does. And I also wanna ask in terms from, having the supporter perspective, how would it be or what would it be a specific way you'd want someone like myself who is a supporter of the community to be more supportive of representing you guys or being more accepting when y'all are in the media?

Shakyra:

I just think just spreading awareness about our community just help it just goes a long way. And just be really be with us when if y'all say y'all with us, just actually show that. You know? Just don't say, yeah. You know, I'm a supporter because I have x y z of friends.

Shakyra:

No. Show me, like, I don't know. Show me that you are a supporter if I'm not your friend in general, if that makes sense.

Anthony:

You know? Definitely does.

Jada:

Definitely does.

Anthony:

And I also I'm pretty sure I asked this on our, Go in deeper episode that you were a guest of. But how do you feel about LGBTQIA plus representation in schools or education.

Shakyra:

Oh, we need more. Like I said, we need more of that in the schools because, like we talked about, we said that they're gonna get exposed to it in general, you know. And it's like, you don't have to, like, demonize the community in order to teach, you know, children about the community itself. Once you educate yourself about the community, I feel like it'll be more easier to educate others, you know. So I just feel like having that talk is the first step personally.

Shakyra:

So yeah.

Anthony:

Yeah. And do you have any additional thoughts you'd like to add in terms of, like, just from source perspective, Jada?

Jada:

No. Yeah. No. I mean, you made a good point at the end. I feel like people always wanna talk about what's wrong or, you know, always wanna talk about things that shouldn't be when they don't even know why it is in the first place.

Jada:

So I feel like if people start really like actively searching for answers themselves or just reading, researching, and doing that first And then once you do that, you still come to the same confused conclusion, then that's different. But people really talk from, like, empty brains. I know that sound weird. No. I feel like people talk a lot because they're not They just be talking about the side of their neck.

Jada:

Yeah. Like, it's real empty, and it's like crickets up here. But they just talk and say, like, oh, somebody said that was wrong, so it's wrong. Well, do you know why it's wrong? Do you really think it's wrong?

Jada:

Do you believe it's wrong?

Jada:

Yeah.

Jada:

The other question I feel like you should really ask before you say, like, oh, that's not good. You shouldn't be doing this. Not normal. Right? That's not normal.

Jada:

What's normal?

Elle:

What is normal?

Shakyra:

Me? I am not a normal person. 24 was normal. I'm not normal. There's been a

Jada:

lot of abnormal stuff that's been going on. So people that don't, you know, look like you or their sexuality is not yours. It's the least of concerns because we got some stuff going on. Alright?

Jada:

That we should be focused on.

Shakyra:

Way bigger problems to be focused on.

Jada:

If everybody minded their business, the world will be in

Shakyra:

a good place. Clearly. Right.

Jada:

Because if they not hurting you, abusing you, taking something from you, talking about you, why are you talking about them?

Shakyra:

Right.

Jada:

They living their life just like you living yours. If you don't wanna talk about it, don't. Like, you can remove equations. You're just choosing to stick and talk, which is making more noise. Just leave.

Jada:

Right. Remove yourself, and it'll help brighten your day and their day because they don't wanna talk to you either. Like, what?

Shakyra:

No. No. Well said. Well said.

Anthony:

And I wanna ask, and I'd also wanna continue to put a disclaimer that I'm asking this question from solely their perspectives and their own lives.

Jada:

Do not attack us. Yeah.

Shakyra:

This is my views and my views only.

Anthony:

Yes. But I put that disclaimer specifically because I want to ask, If I were to ask both of you, what does it mean to be a black woman? And how does it feel to be a black woman? How would you answer that question? Wait.

Shakyra:

Before we get into it, how do you feel about the whole strong black woman discourse? I'm tired.

Jada:

Strong. Oh, I've been strong for so long. And I've been working like a dog day and night. Why Why we gotta be the only race that's strong? Okay.

Jada:

Why do

Jada:

we I don't

Shakyra:

really like that.

Jada:

Why do we have to be there everybody on our back and just be the person that never complains, never takes a break, never goes to sleep, never rest. Why are we strong? Why can't white women be strong? Exactly. Are they gonna be the dancers and distract?

Jada:

Why are

Jada:

they gonna be the dancers? I wanna have a soft girl life too. I wanna sit down and kick my feet up and not worry about nothing. Wait. Seriously?

Jada:

My god. I feel like at first,

Jada:

of course

Elle:

I can be strong.

Jada:

Like, let's switch a little bit. I feel like at first, of course, it was endearing. Like, you know, be strong, you know, be out there, be you. But at some point, I feel like people use that as an excuse or people kinda taking it too far.

Shakyra:

Like, they only want us to be strong when it benefits them, if that makes sense.

Jada:

But when we're being strong for us, now we just self centered and conceited and selfish. But it's like, how you expect us to be strong if we can't be strong for us first? You know what I'm saying? Exactly. So it was you know, I don't I mean, if people use it the wrong way, then that's when I'm like, but I just see it as a scroll past.

Shakyra:

But yeah.

Jada:

What did you say? I'm sorry. I just asked.

Shakyra:

How did if

Anthony:

I were to ask you, what does it mean to be a black woman? And how do you feel being a black woman? How would you answer that question? And the disclaimer of these are only their personal view.

Shakyra:

It means being courageous.

Jada:

Speak it. Speak it. Speak it.

Shakyra:

It means being flawless. No. Everybody got flaws, but flaws. But, yeah, no. Seriously, I'm, like, so serious because it's just like the world is not easy for us.

Shakyra:

It's not easy for anybody, but it's really not easy for us. So it's just like, you just have to carry yourself. Like, you you just know you that girl. I mean, come on now. Mhmm.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Jada:

Yeah. So I mean, being a black woman is is the blueprint.

Shakyra:

Yes. The black

Jada:

print. The the black okay. Black It's the blueprint. I mean, not on if we're not the butt of the jokes, we're the fashion trends, we're the dance trends, we're the language trends, we're the what people wanna aspire to look like, what hair they wanna look like, what, you know, what things they wanna get. So, I mean, it's excellent to me.

Jada:

Like, yes, BB. Like, I know. Yeah. BB. You know?

Jada:

But, no, like, on a serious more note, it's very I like being a part of a community that, yes, if it's in the media for a bad thing, one thing you can't doubt is that we're strong. Yes. That's true. We come together and we pick that one up and we go back about it. I can't say the same about other communities, but I know about the black community even in general is strong.

Jada:

So if one person falls or if there's an unjust with one person, you're gonna see everybody come together and be for that one person. And I couldn't have been more blessed to be black, to be born black, to be born into a black family because I'm just introduced to so many other different things just because I'm black. You know? Even if I meet a non black person, they still come to me with that comfort because they know what it's like to not be the majority. You know what I'm saying?

Jada:

Yeah.

Jada:

So I feel like being black, it just opens my doors for, yes, you'll get the people that want you for a diversity quota, but you'll still meet those really good, like, endearing people that just want you for you. Mhmm. And it's still good to I like educating about black culture. Yeah. Like, the people that I know truly wanna learn or truly just ask questions because they're, like, curious and they wanna, you know, be mindful when going into the world.

Jada:

I love answering their questions because it's like you really wanna learn about us when the world hates us. You know? Like, there's still people out there that want to learn about us, that wanna be beside us, not be us, if that makes sense. Like, they wanna stand with us. You know what I'm saying?

Jada:

So it's just it's a fun time to me.

Jada:

I mean I'm

Shakyra:

having a good old time.

Jada:

I'm having a blast. I'm having a blast.

Anthony:

And with that point you made about just educating, I wanna ask both of you. It could be completely random, but let's say if I wasn't, black or just from speaking from a male's perspective, if I were to ask you, like, tell me something about your life. Like, about being a black woman or just being a black person, what would just what's the first thing that comes to mind if I were

Jada:

to ask? Just out of curiosity.

Shakyra:

For me, it would be, what's the word? Sorry.

Anthony:

Think think think think think think think

Shakyra:

Resilience.

Anthony:

Mhmm.

Jada:

Yeah.

Shakyra:

It would be resilience because I mean, first of all, when you was talking about, like, how you was raised by your mom and stuff, I was gonna make a dark job. I was like, well, the gag is I don't even have a mom.

Jada:

So There you go, though. I mean, I don't.

Jada:

I mean

Jada:

If you've been here for long, you know

Jada:

she make this trip.

Jada:

I mean, it is what it is. I mean yeah.

Shakyra:

But resilience has always been a theme of my life, and it's gonna probably continue to be the thing. And I'm really open to the, like, retire that thing really soon because I'm I'm really tired of bouncing back. Like we said, like, I really do want that soft life. You know? But, yes, all of our resilience, like, I went through a lot as a child, but I mean, I'm here now and I'm grateful.

Jada:

Mhmm.

Shakyra:

Well, you know, I am grateful. I try to keep it I don't know. Keep my stuff together, you

Jada:

know. Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay. I got a funny answer, and I got a real answer.

Jada:

Okay. The funny my funny answer is, boy, that food, man. That food, boy, more I tell you, that's

Jada:

soul food.

Jada:

When a black woman get in that kitchen and whip up some magic, what

Jada:

is soul food?

Jada:

What is soul food? And the best food you ever ate me on time? Really? I can't tell you that much. Come come on.

Jada:

You

Shakyra:

ate the potato salad. No.

Jada:

I'm scared.

Jada:

Oh my god.

Jada:

I've been at a

Elle:

block party. I my neighborhood's very white.

Shakyra:

And once

Elle:

I'm at a block

Jada:

party see,

Elle:

my mother makes great potato salad because my mother is a chef, but somebody else made it. And I am not kidding you. Like, I was so embarrassed.

Shakyra:

Don't tell me you have raisins.

Elle:

I was so embarrassed to be white. That shit had raisins.

Jada:

That stuff had raisins. Okay. Why would people

Elle:

there there were literally raisins

Jada:

in everything. What's your obsession with raisins? Oh,

Jada:

no. Yeah.

Jada:

Like, yeah. See, food is my funny answer because I love to eat and I love food. But if I were to give a serious answer, I'd say, you I've never met a group more passionate. Yeah. Black woman's passion is unmatched.

Jada:

It's on another level because we know how much passion we have to have for what we do to get to where we wanna be, who we wanna be, and what we wanna be. So I definitely say, like, passion. Like, you meet a black woman, and the black woman got her head on straight. She knows what she wants. She got she's a go getter.

Jada:

She don't let nothing stop her. All you'll see when she walk past is passion.

Shakyra:

Yeah. And to add on to that, yeah, we are some especially Detroit women, d girls, We are some hustlers. 313.

Jada:

We are some hustlers.

Anthony:

It was just 313 days. Shout out to me.

Jada:

Happy 313. 3 days.

Shakyra:

Period. But, yeah, we are some hustler. We are some go getters for real. For real.

Jada:

You get what you want.

Jada:

You

Anthony:

know? So I wanna have sort of a speak it into existence moment. So I just wanna ask both of you, what are your goals as black women and just as people in general that you are going to achieve moving forward?

Shakyra:

Well, for me, to be my own boss. I don't know.

Jada:

It's just like me.

Shakyra:

Like, I just wanna start my own legacy. Like, that is my goal. Like like I said, I didn't grow up with my mom. I just grew up with my grandma and she really did the best she could. But me, I just really want my life to be different.

Shakyra:

I just want to leave, like, if God really do call me home one day, you know, and I do have children, I just want to leave them with the best setup in their life so they don't have to, like, worry about relying on other people and things like that. So

Jada:

Yeah. Yeah. I definitely have the same goal. I definitely want my family, like, legacy to have, like, a way better picture painted than what I had. Now granted, my mother did fantastic.

Jada:

I love the way she brought me me and my sisters up. I love the way she did things. I loved her mothering. But if I could add on to the fact of things that I wish I had as a child, I'd wanna give that to my kids. You know?

Jada:

Because I know there's a lot of things that I wish I could've seen or things my friends might have had, conversation I could've add on to just because I didn't have it. I didn't experience it. So I'd wanna give that lifestyle for my kids. And you know me, I wanna travel. I wanna see.

Jada:

I wanna go everywhere safely.

Jada:

Me too.

Jada:

I wanna go everywhere. Like, I wanna see things I never thought I could see. I wanna go to the places that I thought were imaginary, but they're real. Like, I wanna go there. Of course, I wanna ride.

Jada:

I wanna make

Shakyra:

We're the unknown.

Jada:

Okay. Let's go to the ocean. Like, why not?

Jada:

Like, why not?

Shakyra:

Wait a minute.

Jada:

I'll call you right now.

Jada:

Hold on. No. You gotta think about it. Maybe not.

Jada:

Let me cook. Wait. You wanted me to go in cook. Let me cook. Let me see.

Jada:

They not with the ocean, but we gonna

Jada:

go. Alright.

Jada:

You know? You guys

Elle:

could go waist deep into the lake, but you're not in the ocean. Yeah.

Jada:

Absolutely, bro. Oh, my god. Absolutely. What? Absolutely.

Jada:

Cruises, you know what I'm saying? Yes. Family life, travel. I want my career to just be at the utmost success. I wanna make films.

Jada:

I'm a documentary production minor. I wanna fight film. Is just, okay. Yes. Filmmaking has just been, like, my thing.

Jada:

It's the new thing that I'm really, really into, so I wanna make films, like, actual long documentary, maybe docuseries. Like, I want to do that. I want to get married. Another family thing, I want to get married because, in my family, I don't have a lot of successful marriages besides my sister and my brother-in-law. So, I definitely wanna keep that trend going on successful marriages.

Jada:

So I wanna get married. Wanna be my own boss. I wanna sign my own checks, make my own hours. I don't wanna work for nobody because I get old, y'all. You can't

Shakyra:

That's how I said, like, I

Jada:

wanna be

Shakyra:

a boss.

Jada:

9 to 5. I get old. You know? You gotta get it. Whenever I put it in, it's gonna be that's what we gotta do.

Jada:

Mentality.

Shakyra:

I gotta I gotta make my

Jada:

own money. Okay? And I just wanna get to a place of comfort. I don't have to be the most successful. I don't have to be the richest.

Jada:

I just wanna be comfortable. Because I know what it feels like to not live comfortably. And I just wanna live comfortably for the rest of my days.

Jada:

That's all I want.

Anthony:

Okay. Okay. And lastly, unless we have any other thoughts that pop up, I wanna both I wanna give you both the opportunity to shout out some black women, whether it be in the media or in your personal lives.

Jada:

Who is the first people

Anthony:

that come to mind?

Shakyra:

My auntie, of course, and my grandma. Like I said, my grandma really did the best she she could. Like, growing up, we didn't really have the best relationship, but it's like, now that she's getting older and I'm getting older, I just, like, created well, not created. I just learned to have, like, a bigger heart like, soft spot for her because she endured a lot. Like, I'm not gonna get into it, but she really endured a lot.

Shakyra:

So it just, like, I just had to understand, like, why the way she is. But, yeah, most definitely my auntie because she's been, like, the role model closest to me because we only, like, 10 years apart. Yeah. I got young family members. I ain't gonna hold you up.

Shakyra:

But, like, she just, like, really keep me on my toes, and I really appreciate it. Like, sometimes, you know, we also love past too, but, I mean, that's anybody in your family. But, yeah, she really I really look up to her, and I really love her dearly. So yeah.

Jada:

Yeah. If I had to shout out, like, the woman in my life, it'd definitely be, you know, definitely my family. And even some of my friends, like, family, my mama. Gotta shout that woman out. Like, she's queen in my eyes.

Jada:

My grandma, because my mama wouldn't be my mama without my grandma. I love my grandma dearly, especially if you know her. I want her heart. Like, my grandma's heart is, like, the purest heart I've ever known. Like, I didn't know someone could be as selfless as her.

Jada:

So if I could even take a piece of that, because my mom's pretty selfish. We're not needing you know? If I could take a piece of that, I'd be like, okay. I'd be I'd be satisfied. My older sister, because like I said, I grew up in a house of all girls, and my older sister's 10 years older than me, so she always felt like my second mom, but in a good way.

Jada:

Like, if my mama didn't let me do something, she would because I asked her and she said yes. And even my twin sister because even though we're the same age, it's kinda nice to see life do through 2 different sets of eyes. Like, it's nice to see the things that she does differently than me even though we're twins and it's nice to see just the route she wants to take and how it compares to mine. I think it's pretty sweet. And even my friends, Elle, I look up to you, Samaya, the last black woman editor.

Jada:

She, of course, looked up to her because she was, like, the standard for what I wanna do.

Jada:

Okay? She she made

Anthony:

this. Somebody.

Jada:

She made this. No. She put it in yet. Oh, like,

Shakyra:

our poster's not up.

Jada:

It's gonna be up. Don't worry. Yeah. But, like, us sitting at that painting for the floats and us just hashing out ideas with her, like, really just set the tone of what she believed in, and it's something that I always admire. And what I inspired to me I what I inspired to be as just a leader in general, because she was just that girl.

Jada:

And

Anthony:

yeah. And each of the women that Jada shouted out, I've had the privilege of knowing all the people shouted out, especially when it comes to her family. Like, with knowing Jada, I've had the privilege of knowing the women in her life, on her personal level, her family. And I always only had the examples of my mom and my sister and the women in my family. And meeting the women in her family, I've other than my own women personal women in my family, I've never met more powerful and just incredible people in my life.

Anthony:

Like the women, like whether it's her grandma or twin sister or her mother, the things that you wouldn't know their story if you looked at them, to put it like Okay. And to to see what they are now, shout out to all of them if you can tell them personally, because I don't know if they'll watch this.

Jada:

Oh, I

Jada:

know they're watching. Hey, y'all. They watch.

Jada:

Shout out to all

Anthony:

of them, whether it be your twin sister, older sister, mom, grandma, and even more aunties. I've had the privilege of meeting them and they're all again, I can't put it into words. If you looked at them, you wouldn't know their story. And like we mentioned Samaya, I would literally would not be here if she didn't hire me. So We

Elle:

miss you.

Anthony:

And shout out to Samaya. We definitely miss you. Shout out to her and her endeavors. She's also an amazing journalist. Check her out at Do We Are Outlier.

Anthony:

Outlier. Outlier.

Jada:

Thank you so much

Anthony:

for remembering it. Shout out Outlier. And Elle Elle's in this room. I have luckily have a host. I mean, a show where she's the host on, and I, can give myself credit if I were to choose to, but that's going deeper would not exist without the work that she does and even past going deeper of the work she does.

Anthony:

So with Damonte raising his hand for some reason, I don't understand why. But, he probably wants to speak, so to

Demonte:

give him just comment.

Elle:

That's usually why people raise their hands.

Anthony:

Yeah. I ain't not able to do me all.

Demonte:

No. Since

Jada:

this is

Jada:

You could

Anthony:

talk as loud as possible. Yeah.

Demonte:

So since this is the, episode, I just like to I say it, like, almost every day. I'll say it again. Thank you both for being who you are. Thank you.

Jada:

Thank you. Y'all gonna make me terrible. Don't do that.

Anthony:

Thank you for that.

Demonte:

Jokes aside. Oh.

Anthony:

I don't wanna ruin. Yeah.

Demonte:

I know. Thank thank you, honestly. Just like like like especially you, Shikara. Like, you encouraged me to apply for the state news. I honestly would not be in position I am in right now if it was not you.

Demonte:

Thank you, Jada, for your, continuous, mentorship, whatnot,

Jada:

not whatnot. No. I got you. I got you.

Demonte:

Thank you for your mentorship and just honestly just just giving me advice when I need it. Diversity rep or not or just, like, as a friend, just like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Jada:

You're welcome.

Jada:

Have your

Demonte:

powers. I give you your powers, but

Jada:

Yeah. Listen. Thank you. Thank you. Bored.

Jada:

Okay. That's what we're forward.

Anthony:

And I was telling them this leading up auto and such as recording. I wanted this to be as big as a thank you to y'all too as much as possible and to especially just the women out there, black women out there. But more so for this show and for this platform, again, I every time I think about every day I come to work, I think about y'all too. Because you gave me your job, and you made sure that both of y'all made sure I applied.

Shakyra:

And it was a

Jada:

risk too.

Shakyra:

I was like, should

Jada:

I give him my job? I'm like,

Shakyra:

you know what? This is my friend. I'm a put him on because I really want us to eat, and I really want him to be here. So Okay. Why not?

Shakyra:

And, yeah, Anthony, the first

Elle:

time I met you, we were talking about how similar we were, and you were, like, why have we not met before? And Jada was, like, because you wouldn't apply. Oh, yeah.

Jada:

I remember that. Yeah. I

Jada:

remember that. Literally, the first time they met, they was like, oh my gosh. Well, we should have met ages ago. I'm like, yeah. You wouldn't submit the application until now.

Jada:

So now this is why you're meeting for the first time.

Shakyra:

Can I make a couple comments?

Anthony:

Of course. Real quick. I just want to end. I'm I'll let you end the podcast. So just on my end, one, just thank both of you again.

Anthony:

It means a lot to me, especially for just if you and if we think about all the things that have led up to us knowing each other now, y'all didn't have to do a lot of the stuff y'all did for me even still. So thank both of y'all, and I would also like to just personally shout out my mom and sister, specifically just from my sister being someone who's a part of the LGBTQIA plus community and still expressing herself no matter what, and my mom for quite literally birthing me. And just with a lot of the things she's going through with her own health issues and then with my grandma, her mother, a lot of things. Shout out, my both my grandma as well. So just thank all the women in my life that I know who are help who are helping me be who I am.

Anthony:

Because I look up to y'all, y'all too specifically, and just in general to allow me to just understand that if I don't if I don't go through periods or having birth, I I can't say I go through that much because

Jada:

y'all go through

Jada:

a lot.

Shakyra:

That's not what makes

Anthony:

And that isn't what

Shakyra:

makes We just talked about that.

Anthony:

Yeah. Just from those two things and just in general what y'all go through on a daily basis. I mean, heck, I was telling them, like, why they do y'all with with pockets? Like, why they do y'all like that? Just dogging y'all my, like

Jada:

You're so ill to a point.

Shakyra:

Put your head in my pocket and I did

Anthony:

But whether it's whether it's something that be periods or having birth or things of just just being a woman in general, it's not limited to anything. And the fact that y'all go through all of that, I just think, like, I got a good break because I don't understand what it mean. I can talk about every male problem in the world, but I don't know what it means to be a woman. So thank you both for y'all.

Jada:

It. You just gotta

Shakyra:

for you just gotta get it. Like

Elle:

The girls that literally

Anthony:

So, Elle, if it actually if you could come to the mic, and I'll let you end off the podcast other than us.

Jada:

Letting a white woman

Elle:

Hi. Oh, I've never sat over here before. Oh my goodness.

Jada:

Oh my gosh. This is so weird.

Elle:

I wanted to comment on something you guys were talking earlier about interracial relationships and the difference between when white women date black men Mhmm. And black women date white men. I note I have noticed a lack of wanting to learn about culture because I think Mhmm. Outside of race, when you date somebody who's from a different culture, like my boyfriend is Eastern European, my ex girlfriend was Western European. If you don't wanna learn about somebody's culture, if you don't wanna immerse yourself in it, especially if you have children, that to me is a huge red flag.

Shakyra:

Yeah. It's just not gonna work.

Jada:

It's just not gonna work.

Shakyra:

And there was

Elle:

a video that went viral of, like, a man coming home, and like putting his head on a woman's lap. And somebody it was a white woman and a black man. Mhmm. And she, like, took off his do rag, and then she was, like, stroking his hair, but Oh, the

Jada:

wrong way. Yes. And so, like, why would

Elle:

you take it off? Why would you stroke against the the wave? Is that what it's called?

Shakyra:

Yeah. It's called wave.

Jada:

Yeah. Why would

Shakyra:

you like it's like the texture.

Jada:

Yeah. So Not the wrong wave. That's crazy.

Jada:

He it was his way. So why his? Why did you take it off to the U?

Jada:

That's because you don't

Jada:

know what you're doing, bro.

Shakyra:

This is my

Elle:

Whoever you date, whether they're in a a different race, a different culture, you should always wanna learn as much as possible as you can about that culture because that's a part of who they are. And if you don't respect that, then you don't respect them. Am I

Shakyra:

right? Yeah.

Elle:

Also, to shout out some black women, you both, obviously. I have loved becoming friends with you guys Oh. And learning so much from you just as people, but also a black about black culture in general. Like, every once in a while, I'll be like, can I ask a question?

Jada:

Yes. You know

Shakyra:

what I'm saying?

Jada:

And we're like, yeah. Go ahead, bro.

Jada:

Like, what what you asked about Jackson?

Jada:

I

Elle:

oh, I asked who Boo Boo the Fool was.

Jada:

Not me.

Jada:

And not my mom. You were like, I know your grandma.

Elle:

I didn't know. And then we, like, googled it and stuff. The creator of the Backyardigans who recently passed

Jada:

was a

Jada:

black woman.

Shakyra:

I have Peter Heard.

Jada:

That show we wanna I feel like I know.

Shakyra:

I know she

Elle:

was black. I should've known because

Shakyra:

It's Unique one. Tyrone. Who else? Hold on. The best one was

Elle:

the penguin, Pablo. Pablo.

Jada:

Yeah. Tasha. Yep.

Elle:

Pablo was the brown head.

Shakyra:

Name. I forgot.

Jada:

What was his name? Austin. Austin. Austin? Austin?

Jada:

Austin? Oh, well,

Shakyra:

he was barely in the show, so

Jada:

of course. That show was the goate. Not too much

Jada:

on Austin.

Jada:

I remember

Shakyra:

when I was I was, like, younger, I used to, like, go to the concerts and stuff.

Jada:

You know how

Shakyra:

the Oh my gosh. The series I love. Yes. Yes. Oh my gosh.

Shakyra:

I used to love that song so much.

Jada:

Castaways. We are castaways. Oh, and now

Jada:

she ate. She ate. Okay.

Elle:

That's all. Thank you to you guys.

Jada:

Yeah. Of course.

Elle:

Thanks for letting me be here. I'll give it back to Anthony now. Let me just make this a little

Jada:

Uh-uh. Get that on camera. Thank you. Which

Jada:

Oh, so Maya, what? That's someone who wrote a lyric. Yeah. So we swept. We did sweep.

Shakyra:

At the

Elle:

staff meeting, they were like,

Shakyra:

we sweep.

Jada:

I was like, swept?

Anthony:

Which shout out shout out to them for winning those awards, and especially for the stories they both wrote with Samaya writing about the school shooting and Miranda writing about her personal

Jada:

experiences with, reporting certain things to MSU. And well, I mean,

Anthony:

not even certain things, sexual assault to MSU and then not going well. So with, all of that being said, one last big thank you to both of you 2 again. Y'all make the time for always recording these episodes even with everything that may go on in your personal lives or just the time of it being, like, almost 8 o'clock, I think, with us recording.

Jada:

What was 8:19? 8:19. So She said that's so catchy. I was 8:19.

Anthony:

Y'all do above and beyond, period. Whether it just be for this podcast or not. And to all the women who may listen to this, to Elle, to Samaya, who, again, gay helped give me this platform, thank all of you. And this has been All Shaded Chocolate, where we've brought

Jada:

The sweetest. The hottest. Black culture at MSU. And remember to stay sweet.

Jada:

Bye.