Gifting Yourself a Vacation

In this episode, Toni and Hettie explore the idea of gifting yourself the freedom to live again through travel. From Toni’s recent adventure in Bali, filled with reflection, friendship, culture, and a few comical street-crossing moments to the joy of stepping outside your comfort zone, the conversation highlights how travel can refresh your spirit and reconnect you with the world. They discuss planning affordable trips, embracing staycations, meeting new people, and honoring your own needs while healing. It’s an excellent reminder that giving yourself a break is not selfish, it’s restorative. 

What is Two Dancing Widows?

Finding life after loss, Two Dancing Widows dives into the stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Hosts Toni and Hettie welcome new guests each week, from widowers and life coaches to those battling severe illness, who share their journeys through struggle and their paths back to joy. This podcast is for anyone navigating grief or simply looking for inspiration to live and love deeply again. Tune in for heartfelt conversations that remind us all that healing, while challenging, is a dance worth stepping into.

Coming up on this episode of Two Dancing Widows.

People just walk into the street, stick their hands out, and the car stopped.

But I'm 74. I'm not taking the chance of they don't see my hand.

I just couldn't walk in the street and do it.

So I'm going and asking people, one man said, I don't speak English.

I can get someone to help you. They said, just go out there and stick your hand out.

I saw another young man. He said he was from Australia.

His first time, he said, I'm trying to figure out how to cross the street.

Two lady. There was this older guy across the street.

And he was just watching me like, I know he's probably like, this is the funny thing.

I've ever said. And it was burning hot out that day.

And I wanted to get across the street desperately.

Finally, a lady in a pink dress.

Oh, maybe about a half a block from me.

Put her hand out and just boldly walked into the street, all the car stopped.

And when she got midway in the street, I ran as fast as I could to go across.

And that's how I got across the street.

And so it was quite an adventure.

Welcome to Two Dancing Widows.

The podcast where hosts Tony and Heady explore life after loss.

And the strength we find in each other's stories.

In today's episode, Tony and Heady dive into the powerful act of gifting yourself a vacation.

Whether it's a far away adventure or even a quiet staycation.

Close to home.

They share stories of travel, healing, stepping beyond comfort zones.

And the unexpected joys that come with seeing the world through fresh eyes.

Join them as they reflect on how taking time for yourself can open the door to renewal, discovery, and the freedom to live again.

They share the stories yet unto.

Hello again, it's Heady and Tony and we are the Two Dancing Widows.

And today we have a brand new topic.

And as usual, it is about doing something for yourself in a way to overcome grief or the feelings of loneliness.

Today we are going to talk specifically about gifting yourself a vacation.

And we're going to talk about gifting yourself the big vacation.

Maybe somewhere that you've always wanted to go.

Whether it's South Africa, North Africa, West Africa, East Asia, Alaska, the moon, or wherever you think you might have wanted to go.

And how to do it.

And how to talk about, you know, maybe staying closer to home, which we're going to call a staycation.

But we're going to define staycation based on the fact that you are staying close to home and not going to an international spot.

And that will also include being at home.

Because what we're talking about, we say gifting yourself a vacation is really taking a break from the everyday stress and strains of things that we have to do.

And it's just kind of even putting your phone on the do not disturb or just getting away from it all and doing something that is exclusively for you, which is why it is a gift.

And so while you are free to live again, how do you start that?

And one of the ways that we thought you can start after you got to a certain point in your Greek is by gifting yourself a vacation.

So Tony just got back from the grand tour.

I guess we could call it the grand tour.

We know that the grand adventure.

The grand.

Oh, okay, the grand adventure.

She went to Bali and she's going to tell you something about it.

How she felt.

How she got there.

How she made it affordable for herself as well as some of her complaints.

Well curated complaints nonetheless.

So Tony, tell us about your vacation.

You're gifting yourself a vacation to Bali.

It was absolutely fabulous.

I just had such a great time.

I am fortunate enough to be able to travel with the group that's called roaming around with Robin and Allison.

And we're out of an analysis and put together these fabulous adventures trips.

We have surprises every day.

We're taken to the best restaurants.

Our tours.

Everything is just we go to spa.

Everything is just laid out for you.

In fact, this trip they did a 47 page booklet that lists every day's activities.

Things we could do in our free time.

We were gifted with drivers that would take us all over the island anywhere we wanted to go for about 12, 13 hours.

So everything was really laid out.

It's affordable for me because we start planning two years in advance.

And you're given the two years to pay for your trip.

So by the time it's time for you wheels up on the airplane, your trip is totally paid for.

And so it was just that's a very affordable way for me to travel.

And I can be comfortable and I'm escorted the whole time that we're there.

So I feel very safe and secure.

And like I said, Robin and Allison just to go above and beyond for all the extras for us.

So it was fabulous.

Well, that sounds like fun.

And I think, you know, for those of you who don't know a group that's forming,

you can always form your own with some of the same tools and using some of the same concepts.

You can find a place that you want to go.

You can invite friends and see if they want to go.

And you can even do it through a travel agency if you want to because they usually are really good at setting up payment plans.

Because if you don't do it through a travel agency and you are doing it yourself for the first time,

you had to be very clear on at which point you can refund money and at which point you can't.

There are probably several little things that need to definitely be into the contract because that is basically what you have.

You are forming a travel contract.

And unless you're doing it, even if you're doing it, what if you grow up friends because I've done things with girlfriends and at the last minute,

someone has backed out and it has made our shared expenses a little bit more because we did things based on a particular number.

And then somebody doesn't come and we still have to make the payments, whether it's renting a vacation spot, a vacation home,

or unless you decide to do something a different way, which would be, for example, choose a resort.

And then you will call name your group and everybody pays for themselves and they would pay the vacation club or wherever you're going to go, but vacation resort.

Each as an individual, even though you would be accommodated as a group.

That, that sounds great too.

I just at this age, I want somebody to Calgon, take me away.

And so I don't have to worry about anything, nothing at all.

We had lots of events to participate in.

Each day was a different adventure.

And we went to the spa.

We had all kinds of spa treatments.

I did a sound healing, which was my first time doing that.

And I know that they have that here.

So I'll probably do it again, because it was very, very relaxing for me.

These trips, the last few trips I've taken were after Jimmy passed.

And they were my way of pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying something I totally never done before.

And that was to travel just all over the world.

When Jimmy was alive, I did every three months a trip, but couldn't be very far.

And it was always in the States.

And it was just usually for maybe three days.

So now I'm up to longer trips.

And of course, that carries some craziness to it.

I'm telling you, Eddie, these old bones, that 25-hour trip on the plane just broke me down.

See, that's because you did not form you laid a plan.

No, that's because I didn't pay for first class.

Well, that too, which I did urge you to do.

Yes, but you do know that if you don't formulate a plan, it could be catastrophic on an airplane traveling that many hours, especially if it's your first time.

But it wasn't.

But it was the first time going 25 hours, though, isn't it?

It was, yeah, no, because it was 18 hours to Taiwan, which I had done before.

18 hours is brutal.

I have it all scheduled out, laid out, download my series, download my books, my music, my games, all that's fine.

I haven't heard you say anything about your exercise on the plane.

I use my compression socks and I do get an exercise.

No, but I get up, but we usually leave on this route is always a midnight.

We leave from Ohera midnight.

So when you get on the plane, they give you a snack to eat in the hot tea or coffee or whatever than the lights dim.

And they really want everyone to go to sleep.

So I can't go to sleep then. So I do get up, but you don't want to get up too much during the night so that you disturb your fellow people.

But I'm just saying I don't think I could do it without a bid.

I just even premium.

I just it's not enough.

It was just brutal.

So this is really funny.

This I was on.

Oh shoot, what was the Swiss there, I think.

And we had they actually had an exercise tape on the screen.

And I looked up and everybody's hands were going up in the air and everybody was shaking their fingers.

Oh, that is really cute.

Oh, so it was so cute.

It was so cute.

In your hands down, the people will pop up and pop down those that could because it was part, they have this little exercise tape.

And I think that was so cute, but obviously you don't get that on every airline.

But it did encourage people to, you know, move their body, get their blood flowing and do some other things like that.

Just to create a little bit more comfort than what you ordinarily would have on a flight that long.

Yeah, coming back, we stayed a day and a night in Taiwan.

And some people went out to do sightseeing.

I had been to Taiwan and I was so tired that I don't think there would have been any attraction that would have made me go out.

So I spent the day comfortably in my bed.

I did room service.

It was great.

So when I boarded the flight later on that evening, it was much more comfortable.

I felt a lot better and it was just 13 hours back to the state.

So you did a staycation while on vacation?

Oh, I like that.

I guess we did.

My cousin Kim and I decided we were staying in the room.

That was a staycation.

That was a staycation.

Reach your mind.

Oh absolutely.

You relaxed and did everything just for you.

So tell me, tell me, I'm dying to know.

Oh, a couple of things.

First, I'm dying to know.

What did you like best to eat?

I mean, because I'm a foodie and food excites me.

And when it's presented enough in a really pretty way, I get so excited.

So what did they feed you that you really like?

If you if you were here and going to, you know, a Balinese restaurant that you were ordered here, I really enjoyed it.

We did a variety of restaurants.

Believe it or not, one of our first meals for lunch was at a fantastic Mexican restaurant.

And I was like, oh, that's interesting.

I came all the way here, but the food was delicious.

Was it like Mexican?

Yeah, absolutely.

It was great on our gritas and all.

It was it was great.

It's cute.

And one of the other restaurants that was great was we went to an Indian restaurant.

And the food was very good.

And so in just we had a variety of food.

What I thought was really cute is one night to help the women get to know each other better.

They had dinners in your villa.

And each villa had three people and each villa had their own pool and all of that.

So they said, just sit back and relax.

If you're a host villa, just answer the door.

And the restaurant is catering everything for you.

So all you have to do is be there and to open the door for the people.

And you were sent people that you didn't really know that well.

My cousin Kim was my villa sweet person, but she was sent to another villa for the dinner.

I was the hostess at ours.

And when they came in, they had this huge tray, wooden tray.

And on the tray was all the different entrees, if you wish, or dishes.

And they were separated.

There was like a lettuce bed on the tray.

And then they had fried rice.

They had prawns.

They had mushrooms.

Potato salad.

Whatever it was.

And it was a big thing on the tray.

And then they had fruit separately.

And it was just so much fun.

I just thought that I was just like my mouth is watering now.

I just love it.

I mean, I can you know you and I are going to do that.

And I can visualize it.

I can I love food.

It was really huge.

And the food was great.

It was great.

It was great.

You know, I can such a way.

Yes.

And it makes it also creates camaraderie.

Yes.

But I really like about what you just shared with us is the fact that they broke it up.

You know, so it was you got to meet other people.

And I was.

Oh, yes.

Even in church.

All these people that get there and they sit in the same spot will be.

Yeah.

That experience that are at our water Rubik's the other day.

It is.

Yes.

Oh, I always stand here.

And I looked at her and I thought I would say something.

And then I said today is not the day.

I'm walking away.

So I just did.

I just did.

And that was good for me that day.

But that doesn't happen every day.

But I do love it when they break it up.

And they invite people that you don't know.

And so you don't know if you have anything in common.

Yes.

You kind of forced into a car.

Really, really broke the ice.

And it really made it the rest of the trip.

We you felt the closeness with those six women that came that I didn't really know.

Right.

And I want to had traveled with before, but just one.

But it was because you know the school teacher me we're always going to have a little activity.

And so I did.

And we talked about why each one of us signed up for this trip.

And what we hope to get out of coming all the way to Indonesia.

What was our goal and where we feeling like we were accomplishing what we really came to.

So what do you say?

I said, and this is something I didn't end up doing that I came for self reflection,

a time just to breathe away from home and all the obligations.

I wanted to read.

I wanted to write.

I really wanted to do some writing.

And I never got to it.

Oh wow.

And your days were filled in my goal.

Yes.

You could choose your own free time.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And then the mornings I had free time.

I had the opportunity to write, but I just didn't.

Well, you were relaxing.

I mean, just enjoying being.

It was great.

It was great.

It was great.

And that's the thing about traveling that I don't get it when people go, oh, I don't travel.

Why would I want to go here or there?

It's so hard for me to understand.

I guess home bound people, especially when it's a choice because there are so many people that are home bound.

Because they don't have a choice.

Absolutely.

And they cannot travel.

And again, so you know, that's why I just had this whole idea that today will be a day we would talk about freeing yourself.

Because travel not only informs, if freeing you gives you fresh ideas, let's you see other parts of the world and how they do it.

And sometimes we realize that, you know, there is more than one way, two ways or three ways to scan a cat.

We can do it a different way and we can have a good time doing it.

I enjoy meeting the people and talking to people, but you and I have that in common.

We're a little nosy.

And I'm not nosy.

Yes.

That's true.

And we're so curious about people.

And we want to hear everybody's story.

And we want to talk to people and really understand the decisions they make and how they live their lives.

And I found that the people were so gracious.

They were really gracious.

And I like talking to them.

Even the young drivers we had, we talked about how every day they start their day with prayer.

Oh, man meditation.

And I thought, wow, maybe that's why the traffic was horrendous.

I thought, oh, I couldn't drive here.

This is just crazy.

They're patient.

They're kind.

I didn't see or experience any car accidents.

How I don't know.

I just don't have a clue.

And it took me one day about 20 minutes.

Could have been a Saturday nightlife skit of how to cross the street.

I was by myself.

I had gone away from the group and I was down the street by myself.

And I couldn't figure out people just walk into the street, stick their hands out.

And the car stopped.

But I'm 74.

I'm not taking the chance of they don't see my hand.

I just couldn't walk in the street and do it.

So I'm going and asking people.

One man said, I don't speak English.

I can get someone to help you.

They said, just go out there and stick your hand out.

I saw another young man.

He said he was from Australia.

His first time.

He said, I'm trying to figure out how to cross the street.

Two lady.

There was this older guy across the street.

And he was just watching me like, I know he's probably like, this is the funny thing.

I've ever seen.

And it was burning hot out that day.

And I wanted to get across the street desperately.

Finally, a lady in a pink dress.

And she said, oh, maybe about a half a block from me.

Put her hand out and just boldly walked into the street, all the car stopped.

And when she got midway in the street, I ran it as I could to go across.

And that's how I got out across the street.

And so it was quite an adventure.

But everyone was so kind.

We had that's funny.

Did I ever tell you, but I haven't story similar across the street.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, the street, the not across the street.

Oh, the not my experience.

I'm too old to see it.

Yes.

And they would, you know, the cars and the scooters, everything and a lot of scooters.

And they just exact around and is terrifying.

Yes.

And I just had to get across the street.

And just like you, you know, no stop lights or anything.

No.

No stop signs.

Stop signs.

People fast and some slow, but they're moving.

I walked and pondered how to cross the street for so long.

I, there was actually a homeless like in camp.

That you know, they're different than ours and that they, you know, it's warm and it doesn't look like, you know,

10 city or anything, but you still know that they're kind of homeless or whatever.

I don't so desperate.

I want over to ask someone in the homeless camp to take me across the street.

Now, they did not speaking with she either.

But I kept like showing like I'm running and playing across the street running and playing across the street.

So finally, this, this, this, this lady and man, they came and so they were going to take me.

So she grabs my arm.

He walks out and puts his hand up.

Everybody stops.

I cross the street.

I get to the other side.

I tried to give them money.

And they wouldn't take it.

They would not accept that they were laughing at me and just bowing their hand.

They're like, you're providing to show off.

Ready late.

They would not take that money.

I don't care how broke they were.

They would not take my money.

I did not get in that experience.

I did not have that occur any.

Again.

So I spent some time at a coffee shop called Black Eye.

And it was like a Starbucks, but it was just really very nice.

The other group members were shopping in the market and I did not want to do that.

So I began to interview people that I thought you didn't talk to people you interviewed.

Yes, I interviewed them.

I interviewed them.

I caught you.

Do you look like an American?

Where are you from?

I'm from Seattle, Washington.

You are so bold.

And so the ladies looking at me like, well, I said, oh, and why, but brought you to indonation.

She said, I'm here on a solo trip.

I'm going through nine Asian countries.

And I said, oh, that's fantastic.

Do you have time to talk to my friend Robin and I?

And she said, well, okay.

So I brought her over.

She had her coffee, Lee and ours.

And we learned her whole life story.

And she and Robin are keeping in touch with each other.

I love that.

And so that, that was fun for me.

It's just talking to people.

But I think the whole, the whole thing of it is once again,

uh, freeing yourself to live.

Yes.

Yes.

And so do something a little bit different.

Gift yourself.

I was with the, you know, with the whole concept of life and living because, you know, guys,

you know, I mean, I hate to give you this, serve you this downer.

But life here can be a real downer.

So especially given our current situation and its environment is so political.

Yes.

Everybody's so upset with everybody.

People don't even talk to each other anymore.

If you express an idea that is different from someone else's idea, oh, they, they hear

a handle it.

Right.

And for me, that's hard because sometimes I might believe what you believe, believe,

but I can play the devil's advocate sometimes.

But that really teased people off.

So it's wonderful to hear about you and your vacation.

But now tell me the most daring thing that you did.

Please tell me that you wrote it, elephant.

Now you know, dare camel.

No, ours.

No.

Now, you know, I don't like dogs are tolerable only for me.

So I did not go to the monkey sanctuary.

My fellow travelers did.

I did not go and ride the elephant.

Many of them took wonderful pictures, rode the elephants, all of that.

I did not.

And I know if you listen to our podcast and you heard,

had he talk about the hall last hill and when we were in Costa Rica, I was smart enough

to look down at that waterfall and say, there is no way that I'm going down to that waterfall.

So I took lots of pictures at the top.

But I knew that I would never again go to the bottom and haul my ass up the hill.

So I did, I did, I did not do that.

So I don't think I had any really daring adventures.

But what was the most exciting adventure that you had?

Well, it was the most exciting adventure.

You're going to scream about this too.

Many of them went zip lining.

You know, I did not do that.

And they did the Bali swing where you swing with the dress.

I did not do that.

I law I did not move from the chair at the top of the mountain.

They all did.

I just didn't want to.

So, okay, well, you didn't get to have that pretty picture of the dress.

No waving in the wind and all that.

Absolutely not.

Yeah.

And so, but you had a good time watching.

I had a good time.

I didn't even watch them.

I sat and talked to people.

Okay.

I could tell you everyone's history and all about all the people that were running this business.

How they met, how the husband and wife started the business.

Who the girls were and that weren't there.

I can tell you all that.

I love it.

I did.

I know.

That is so you.

And it is.

Again, you were free to do that.

Yes.

Free spirit.

And be comfortable in my own skin.

Yes.

And other people and learning things from them about them.

I think that is a gift to yourself.

I was a gift to me.

I really enjoyed that.

Okay.

So, now tell me about shopping.

About all the fabulous fabrics and all of the beautiful colors and all of the wraps and stuff.

Oh, certainly you did that.

Well, I know you enjoy shopping.

I went jewelry shopping a little bit.

And that was interesting.

That was the place you could bargain.

Because what we were told is if you see the last doors and air conditioning, those are fixed price shops.

And they're not going to bargain with you.

There was fabulous shopping.

A lot of boutiques, lots of stores that we have here.

But we didn't want to go to those stores.

Now, I would go to a store that's already in the United States.

Others in the fact that sometimes they make products specifically for that market.

And they could be a little different.

That was the happened and John Hardy.

We went to they had one particular set of stones that are unique to Bali.

And they don't sell those at any of his shops anywhere in the world.

And so one of our ladies bought a beautiful necklace and ring.

And because she wanted to make sure that I can't find this in Chicago right at North Streams.

And so they said absolutely not.

One thing I was disappointed there, because you know, I love John Hardy.

But there are no differences in prices.

I thought surely that the prices would be cheaper, but they were not.

And they said that is part of their brand is that anywhere in the world you go to their retail shops.

You will not find a difference in price.

Yeah, there are a couple of stores with that policy Chanel as well.

That's why I don't have one from overseas.

Yeah, it's like, like, you can't pay.

Well, I think you can.

The taxes.

Uh-huh. The taxes.

So you get, give them back to you in the form of a fat value.

Add it text.

Yes, because you're not a citizen.

They give you that back.

And then also if you get it at the airport, you get the duty fee.

Yes.

So you could say maybe 10 to 15% which could be so stancho on, you know, like a $500 per cent.

You could get $50 off of it.

Yeah, I was looking for it to coming home with lots of bracelets that were.

Yeah, reasonably priced.

I thought no, I'll just say that I can buy this at North.

Oh, yeah.

But it was great.

It was beautiful.

They had a beautiful restaurant.

They are called the Long Table.

And it was great.

The all the food was very, very good.

And every place we went, including on the airplane, Robin and Allison made sure that I had a special

menu.

So if you see most of our menus have our names on it.

And then it list what you, what you selected.

And always they had tons of fish for me.

Oh, but yeah.

And even at John Hardy and people were like, I want a piece of that fish.

And they were like, no, that's Tony special.

Yeah, so that works.

So you don't have to be afraid to travel out of your comfort area just because you have special

needs.

No, absolutely.

So there are people that have have different issues with.

Yes, yes, or whatever, but you can be accommodated in other countries just by letting people

know what your needs are.

And they will take care of that in so many different countries.

That is true.

Absolutely.

And, you know, so I think that's a good idea.

So was there anything else about your trip that was a highlight?

Oh, the worst thing about your trip.

There had to be at least one thing that was bad.

The only bad thing about my trip was the airplane ride.

I know everything else was absolutely fantastic.

We had a cocktail party and we had a harvest who had a beautiful voice and a violinist and food

and a violinist.

So people just were coming in and they were all dressed so formally and serving us the whole

three hours.

It was really great.

That is so beautiful.

It was great.

I'm definitely not done, but I will be doing it this coming year.

I said, he said, how I'm going to do it.

If I'm going to do it with others, or if I will just take my own little stuff over there,

which wouldn't bother me at all.

I would be like you, but I would know.

I have friends that have drivers over there that they can use.

So I would establish myself that way.

And I would be okay.

Yes.

I really do.

I do think so.

So that was a big gift to yourself.

And like you said, you took your time.

It took two years of planning and two years of saving.

And when it got up to three or four months before, everything was paid for.

Yes.

You didn't have to worry about it.

So then you could take the other three months and save a few dollars to spend over there.

Yes.

Absolutely.

Because all of our food and drink and everything was included.

So what you need it was, whatever you decide you want to spend for, you know, yourself.

That was great.

I'm so thrilled with that.

And the fact that you had a good time.

Yes.

Now that was amazing.

That was your gift to yourself.

So would you like to hear about my staycation?

I think staycations are life saving, if you will.

Yeah.

For me, they were.

So yes, I think we need to hear about staycation.

Well, I will say though that I had two different type of staycations.

Because to me, even though my Charleston vacation was out of my home state, it was a staycation for me because I usually go abroad.

Yes.

So because I stayed stayc side without visiting.

Well, I didn't have a friend down there.

So I did see her.

But I did specifically go to visit her like sometimes.

I go visit friends in the States.

But really, if I'm going to vacation, it's out of the state.

So why didn't you choose that?

She was Charleston because it's one of my favorites here.

Oh, I love Charleston because I've been there before.

I've worked there before.

And then we did a Christmas.

Every other year, my family and I do a Christmas somewhere else.

Oh.

And so one year we did, we did Savannah actually.

But we, but Jimmy and I went down a week ahead of time in state in Charleston.

And then Felicia, a friend of mine, we were just doing a, a, a girls drive around vacation.

And we decided to go to Charleston.

And so we did.

And we did a lot of things together beginning with celebrating my birthday at this restaurant.

The peninsula like real, which is a real fancy, very expensive place.

But it was worth it for the pictures and the food.

As you know,

me being a foodie, the food had to be good.

Yes, but we also did some other things that were so exciting.

I love that part of the country.

I just love it.

It's beautiful there to me.

It's beautiful.

And it's very got a lot of history there.

It doesn't matter.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

It's a lot of history.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

I love it.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

It's not like it's a lot of history.

And so you know and a lot of history,

you know,

we actually went to a place called Medalds and plays middle of the place is a former plantation.

starts on a plantation. Most of us do not know our roots in Africa. We don't even know what tribes we came from.

We don't know what area of Africa we might have come from. And we don't even know if we came just on the ship from Africa.

We could have come via, you know, the slave trade through Europe and some of our family members, in fact, still are over there that have a connection that way.

But most of our history, so if there's any history to be reclaimed or anything that we want to know about ourselves as a people, is there on the plantation?

And I'm always amazed, just amazed, at the way we survived and the things that we suffered.

But the fact that we survived shows me that we had a tenacity then that I'm not sure that we have today.

That's an a man's statement because some of my worst days, I had to think about my ancestors who came before me and I'm thinking, girl, get a life you have never experienced what they did so that you are here now.

And it kind of refocuses your thinking when you think of the brutality that they endured to make sure that we're here now.

Well, and I was particularly pleased because the tour guide that we had there at Milton, you know, they call it the, the, the middleton place now, but the plantation was an angle woman.

And of course everybody else there was wide, except for my little group or our little group.

And, but she was very honest about everything and she talked about the generations of people that had lived there and some of them were really cruel and some of them were not some of them, you know, sold away babies that beat people and you know, and not all the masters were as cruel, but they were certainly cruel, just in the whole idea of owning human beings.

But we got to see places where they lived like for example, there was one place of sort of honor that was one slave's cabin, but she was sort of the matriarch or one of the women there that cared for the children and cared for the things and she was the sort of the healer and she had a different place and they preserved her cabin.

But we got to go through that and we got to find out about the different forms of life down there and the fact that actually this particular plantation owner actually owned 19 plantations slow, which always actually feeds back into the idea, you know, most people think that, you know, all the white people had slavery slaves and all that, you know, that really less than 10% of the population had slaves, especially and even less than that had more than, you know, three or four slaves.

And so many of the people that actually fought in the civil war to preserve, you know, the heritage of the South didn't own slaves and had never even seen them.

So they came out those mountains and lost their life and their limbs and their farms fighting for cause that reminds me so much of people today fighting for the millionaire class to stay above water and to keep their holdings and to thereby keep not only the people who live in the forest, but the people who live in the forest.

And so I keep not only us and you know, and bound up, but they keep other people low income people. We actually have so much more in common than all of us together collectively have with that airship class, you know, and the laws that were made to make sure that they retained their fortune.

That was a very good vacation, but I mean, we didn't just do that. We did other things we went to we want to see some type of amusement and we went to we had cooking and we make cakes of home. Oh, we had that seems to always be a thing with our tram.

Well, well, you see, a lot of times we get a place that has, you know, yes, yes, but even at that, we'd like to get the kitchen a little bit absolutely absolutely.

So we had we had a really good time. We we like I said my whole focus was eating and shopping.

Okay, we've we've we've you went to Charleston and you had another staycation somewhere. Yeah, what's it say kid?

Well, oh, yeah, well, that was yeah, no, I wouldn't call that a staycation because that was international. Yeah, it's okay.

Okay, I mean, okay, yes, my other staycation was right here at home. Oh, can you have a vacation at all? Yes, you can.

We'll tell us a little bit about this. Yes, you can. Well, I had two of those. One, I just turned off everything and just read and did what I wanted to do and had my little food here for myself for a couple of days and didn't answer phones, emails or anything.

I was just relaxing. I played music. I did a lot of dancing on my own by myself as nobody else would probably tolerate that. And it was just fun. It was refreshing.

It was it was it was peaceful and like you, my intention was actually to read and write, but I did read. I did not write.

But and also then the other one was just a little stay down town for the weekend with girlfriends. That is really nice. We want to eat. We want to spa. We went, you know, I got massage, which we also did in Charleston.

And you know, went to a little makeup thing where we learned about makeup and all this kind of stuff. It's really there.

So it was just fun doing something that you don't do all the time. And maybe I think the most fun part is when you get together, a little group like that.

If everybody says something they want to do. And then we get to do all of it because sometimes it's not something that I myself would have chosen.

Even if it's just a sight to go and see, you know, right. That's a great idea. And it's going to be a much cheaper idea. And the thing that makes it most hassle free is you don't deal with airports.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I think I'm still tired. Okay. I am really just worn out. I'm not super. Yeah. I am worn out. It took me. I was calling my family. One night I got so nervous.

I thought my daughter was out at three o'clock in the morning going to urgent care. And I'm texting her. What's going on? Are you okay? And she called me and she's like, Mom, what is wrong with you?

It's something going on. I said, No, I'm worried about you. Why are you out at 3 30 in the morning? She said, Mom, I was out to lunch and shopping with my friends is 3 30 in the after come. And I'm all fortunate today.

Because it was 3 30 in the morning, where you were. I was so confused. So that was a little bit. I did the same thing with the granddaughter. Why are you on campus so late? Do you have any something special?

I'm walking from class. It's 9 30 in the morning. I like it. So that took me a while over there. And when I came back, I was really crazy too. So it was pretty well.

It's interesting how the time zones can really get you kind of cock, cock, cock. Yeah. Especially in these senior years, I think. So we've given people a little bit about international travel and how to prepare for those trips and easy ways to make sure you can go.

In a cost effective way, we've talked about staycations, not only in the States, you could do it in your own city or you could do it in your own home in your own home.

I know that's important. Yeah. Yeah. Because you can pamper yourself. Yes. But you do. It's a gift because you have to give it to yourself.

Yes. Most of us are so afraid from being about being disconnected. Yes. From others. And then I'll tell you something. I remember my mother said one time I call her and I was like, Mom, Mom, why didn't you answer the phone? And she said, Well, for what?

And I said, Well, I was calling you. And I thought, you know, maybe I said, maybe I could have had an emergency. I could have been dying or something and needed you. And she said, Well, then I was the wrong person to call.

She said, if you had an emergency, you needed to call the police or you need to call a doctor or get yourself to hospital. None of which I am right. Why are you calling me? Why calling me? She said, I could not do anything about any of that stuff.

She said, So, you know, next time if you do have an emergency, the first thing is take care of yourself. Get yourself help. Get yourself care. And then let me know that you did. Right. Right. I love it. That's pretty.

I tell you, they had just regular good old common sense. Didn't they? They really do. So I just, you know, I think of that now sometimes when I, you know, turn off the phone or I don't want to be bothered.

I think, you know, I'm not the person to call if you have an emergency. And especially if you need some money, don't call me. I'm not the person to call your banker or something like that. So.

So yeah, I love this free to live again. Gifting. Gifting. Gifting. Yourself. A vacation. I love it. Okay. So I hope that you garnered some ideas from that. I hope that our conversation together with you today,

even though a little personal just gave you the sense of freedom and hopefully it encourages you to feel that this is something that you not only should do or could do with something that you owe yourself. Yes.

To do. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So until next time, until next time, you will put on your dancing shoes and traveling shoes and traveling shoes and I put on my socks.

I'm around the house. I'm going to stay around the house. I was like a player. Until next time, Johnny.

And the dance lives in place. Find a rhythm after all.

With every step a new story unfold in the journey. The beauty of life is told.