Red Ledger Podcast

Finding Freedom: Josh Henson's Story of Deliverance and Faith

This episode of 'The Red Ledger' invites Josh Henson, a digital Christian content creator, to share his inspiring journey from alcohol addiction to redemption through faith in Jesus Christ. Josh discusses overcoming generational curses, personal trauma, and the stigmas around addiction in the Christian community. The episode emphasizes the transformative power of faith, spiritual warfare, and the role of prayer, while highlighting the importance of a supportive faith community. It explores themes of grace, daily repentance, and genuine heart transformation, offering encouragement and hope to listeners seeking healing and deliverance in their lives. The discussion concludes with gratitude and a hopeful blessing for those engaged in thoughtful Christian exploration.

Josh on Youtube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/@JoshuaHenson_sr
Josh on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@joshua.henson.sr
Josh on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshuahenson_sr/

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00:00 Introduction to Demonic Presence
01:31 Welcome to the Red Ledger
01:36 Josh Henson's Battle with Alcohol
01:50 Personal Struggles and Stigma
03:16 The Power of Sharing Stories
07:18 Josh's Background and Early Life
07:43 Generational Curses and Alcoholism
09:43 Turning Point: Loss and Alcoholism
13:52 Spiritual Awakening and Deliverance
18:34 The Role of Prayer and Fasting
32:46 Family Transformation and Obedience
34:48 The Dangers of Entertainment
37:59 Reflecting on Music and Spiritual Transformation
41:09 Guarding the Heart and Overcoming Temptations
43:32 Daily Rituals and Family Dynamics
46:49 The Journey to Deliverance
52:59 The Power of Confession and Repentance
59:21 Advice for Those Struggling with Addiction
01:02:09 Future Goals and Spiritual Aspirations
01:03:59 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Creators & Guests

DB
Host
Denalee Bell

What is Red Ledger Podcast?

We share stories of how the blood of Jesus has transformed ours and others' lives.

 Hello everyone. I'm Denalee. Welcome to the Red Ledger. Today I have my friend Josh Henson. He's joining me remotely from California and he's gonna speak to us a little bit about his battle with alcohol. You're almost a year and a half sober, is that correct? April of last year. Congratulations. Thank you.

That's awesome. That's awesome. I wanted to talk about this today because the subject is deeply personal to me for many reasons. Um, my family. It has a prevalence of addiction in all different forms. Um, porn, money, alcohol, drugs, you name it, food. We've, uh, had somebody who has struggled with something in there.

And the problem I think that happens amongst Christians is we feel isolated due to the stigma that surrounds addiction. And I, I think it comes from a variety of places. I myself have struggled with some issues, particularly food. And I noticed that I've been drinking too much lately since we decided to do this, which I didn't want to say, but God is, uh, prodding me to.

And part of that reason is I'm embarrassed. Right? I'm ashamed. I feel guilty about it. That's the tale as old as time, right, when Adam and Eve are hiding in the garden. But I also think that sometimes we are afraid as Christians that we won't be accepted by our church families or judged by them. And I think part of my problem was, I know better.

I should know better. I know I'm healed. I know that Christ died for me on that cross. I know. So why am I still struggling with this? And it was frustrating. And I, When we were preparing for this, I came across this friend of mine who I actually didn't come across her. I follow her. Um, she's an influencer and has a very large platform and she's struggling and she sent me a private message to pray for because she's struggling with sex, food, and alcohol addictions.

And I'm sad to say I was a little shocked because, you know, we just don't know somebody's life. Right? They're, they, people don't share everything with us. And I know her well enough to be a little concerned that she might isolate. And here is the problem. When we don't reach out and we don't share our stories, we often isolate in these issues.

And isn't that a great place for the enemy to pick us off? Absolutely. When we're away from our flock. Yeah. And so it was just interesting. She just asked me this yesterday to pray for, and I could tell she was a little embarrassed and bummed me out because I accept her and love her no matter what. But I think that's why we need to have these conversations.

That's why it's so important that. You know, Josh shares his story of overcoming because that's what we're sent here to do, to share our stories, to testify about Jesus and his greatness in our life and how he heals our brokenness and our stories heal people. And so I'm super excited that Josh. Um, I met him online, he's a digital content creator for, he does Christian content and very cool stuff, like very different.

Um, he does the spoken word Friday, which Tyler, could you please, um, incorporate into this video? Cause it's so cool. Didn't think sometimes, Lord, why did you choose me? The things that I've been through, all the time I would lose sleep. I've used your name in vain, admittedly too loosely. Why did you keep me, Lord?

Why did you use me? You've pulled me out the pit and darkness consumed me. I've hurt so many people, now I'm a new me. I know that you are working, I know that I'll soon see. I know I'll see the fruits of abundantly sown seeds. The oil that I'm buying, I'm knowing it smells sweet. But I'm praying and I'm hoping the spirit I won't grieve.

The spirit I won't leave, I'm trusting with all belief. When I heard you say you chose me, cause the story I release. My testimony has power. The gospel and the good news excites me. I thank you, Lord God, for using the unlikely. As I imitate you, Lord, I'm praying my kids will grow to be just like me. David prayed for Solomon.

I'm praying that they might be stronger in the spirit with a heart for the Almighty. And when the devil tries to fight me, I'm praying that he might see an angel of light protecting daily and nightly. Spoken Word Friday. And we'll make sure to give you the links below because it's really. It's fun and engaging, but also hits you on a deeper level because you have to really pay attentions to his words.

It's poetry. It's beautiful. So be sure to look in the description for his links and. As I was praying for the show, um, I invited Josh on just cause I liked your content and we didn't really have a topic. We prayed on it. And I came to this struggle with alcohol, which I wasn't even sure was a real thing.

And you told me it was. So I did some research and went and watched your old videos the last couple of days on where you did struggle. And it was interesting. So this is very brave of you to share your story because this is the internet and I know it's deeply personal to you and it's affected you and your family.

So I'm really grateful because I think people will be helped. I think people will identify with your personal struggles, your breakthroughs, the way you came through it and the powerful lessons you learned because that's how we learn, right? We can learn from somebody else or we can learn the hard way.

We can learn from God or we can learn the hard way. So I think It's really going to be an important podcast that you're going to want to watch to the end because even if you're not dealing with it, somebody you know is. We live in a hurting broken world and too many people struggle with this for you to not know somebody.

So maybe his words can help you or help your family. So let's just dive right in. Um, Josh, I, like I said, I had watched some of your social media and we spoke a little bit about where you were. As you're in your childhood and why you started drinking at such a young age, which you kind of remember to be around seven, correct?

Yeah, I was around that age. Could you just share a little bit about your background and what you think led to you to start drinking at such a young age? I believe alcoholism and like some of these other addictions, they are generational. Uh, the Bible talks about that, you know, the generational curses, you know, to the third and fourth generation, you know, the corporate Bible.

But, um, Mine started, uh, I want to say my mother, she was fed wine in her, her baby bottle. And then fast forward, I come around, uh, she fed me box wine. Um, so, and it's, and it's funny because I would drink that stuff here and there when she'd give it to me and, you know, going on into, you know, More of my childhood, my teenage years.

I was actually the guy that said that I would never drink alcohol. I hated the smell of it. I hated everything about it. You know, I hate, I hated what it, what it did to my parents. Um, you know, there was a lot of domestic violence in the home. I was born in, in the mid eighties and, um, you know, moving on into the, to the nine, the early nineties, you know, there was, you know, my parents were involved in gangs, um, so there was drugs, there was gangster rap music.

There was all these things that were, that, that came with that. You know, so I just, I hated the smell of alcohol and, you know, my, my parents, a lot of the time they will get more affectionate when they were drinking instead of the opposite. Um, could it have been more? I'm not so sure because it's, it's real foggy and patchy, you know, that was a long time ago, you know, and, and your brain, you know, with trauma, it suppresses a lot of stuff.

So. So. Um, the times that I do remember them being affectionate was when, when they were drinking. So then I associated the, the smell of alcohol on their breath with them, you know, trying to, trying to let, Oh, now you want to love me. No, I don't want nothing to do with you now, you know, that kind of stuff.

So, um, but yeah, I never wanted to be the guy that's a tricky way to learn about love. Isn't it? Yeah, for sure. For sure. So I always told myself that I'd never drink. Um, my grandmother passed away in 2005, I believe, and after that, I just turned into a straight alcoholic because that was tough for me. She was like a mother to me.

Um, she was like the balance that I needed with my parents and everything that was going on in the home. So my grandmother would, would take us on trips, you know, take us to the Bay area here in California, you know, San Francisco and, and some of those cities where, you know, it's like you, you, you're raised in the ghetto and you see the gangs, the violence and all that type of stuff.

And then you go to a place like San Francisco where, you know, at the time, not so much anymore, unfortunately, you know, through COVID and the way this economy is, you know, San Francisco is no longer as desirable as it used to be. But, um, back in those days, it was fun, you know, go to the fair, spend time, spend time with her and my grandfather and they spoiled us and all that stuff.

So when she passed away, that hit me really hard, um, really, really hard. So then I just became a, a heavy drinker at that point. And um, So it was, so it was an acceptable thing in your family too, probably. Oh yeah, absolutely. Um, when, when I started drinking, I'd go. Uh, hang out with my parents. I'd go and take them 40 ounce, you know, malt liquor, and we'd just listen to music, dance, and party.

The same type of music, you know, whatever was popular at the time, and we'll just party, you know, and just have a good time, get drunk, you know, you know, whatever, whatever came after that, you know? So were you a Christian at this time or did that come later in life? No. So, so my grandmother, when I was younger, she would take us to church.

She would, um, we'd read scriptures. She, she'd teach us the Bible and, uh, that kind of stuff. But I didn't give my life to the Lord until I met my wife. And there's a story behind that. So we, we met. And then within a couple of years we had baby, we had a baby very quickly. And we ended up losing that baby.

Um, which is why you see a senior at the end of my name. That was my Josh jr. But. He, he died, uh, seven months stillborn. Um, we still don't know what happened with that. There was no cord around his neck or anything like that. Um, it just, it just happened. Some of the doctors said sometimes those things happen.

So, um, after we had him, I want to say within another year, we already had my oldest boy on the way. He's he's 15. And I told myself. I said, look, I don't want to do this again. Outside of marriage. I had already had another daughter when I was in high school. I had my, actually I had my first child at 17. I was still in high school and she wasn't in my life at the time.

Still, still not in my life at the time. There was a block where I had her for about three, four years and then that fell through. But, um, so I lost my son. I didn't have my daughter and I had some sort of understanding of God, but not fully. And I felt like I need to do this the right way. So then I proposed to my wife while she was pregnant and said, look, the only way I'm going to marry you guys as if, you know, you give your life to God and, you know, go through those homeworks.

So I did it, but I didn't fully understand, you know, what I was, what I was doing. You know, I just was going through the motions, you know, like, yeah, whatever. I just want to get married. I'll do whatever I need to do. You know what I mean? So. Um, that was the first time, and this was, I was what, 20, 22 years old at the time.

You were drinking while you were still saved though. I was. Yeah. Yeah. The whole time. Okay. Because this is confusing for Christians, right? And for people who aren't Christians, because sometimes, you know, we come out perfect the next day. Sometimes. So what happened that made you want to quit drinking? So I always, like I said, I never wanted to drink to begin with.

And when I lost my grandmother, lost my son, it just was just one of those things. So now, now I'm in a cycle and it's all spiritual where, um, it's, it's a stronghold over you. If, if it's any, anything that, that you're in a cycle of. That you can't get out of normally when it's when it's something negative, you know, like Like porn, like alcohol, gambling, any of that kind of stuff.

It's a, most, most likely, it's, it's a demonic stronghold. And, at the time I didn't know this, but I tried so many times to quit alcohol. Like I hated how it made me feel. I hated how, um, I'd wake up feeling after drinking, you know, throughout the night. You know, um, my weight and all that type of stuff, you know, I just, I really, I really hated it the whole time, but I couldn't get out of it.

You know, I quit for, you know, a week, a couple of weeks, I do really well, get into my fitness and, and then I'll be right back again, you know, for, for some reason. So, um, there was a point last year where I'd get off of work, I'd have my ritual, I'd get off of work, come home, have my beer and, um, you know, kick back.

Play the video game no longer play video games anymore either. So Um, but my wife she would send me videos. She would send me like sermons like little clips of you know people talking about god and all that kind of stuff and Um, sometimes i'd watch it. Sometimes I wouldn't i'd have like espn like the sports and stuff like that but um I've seen uh, are you familiar with alexander pagani?

I'm not okay. So he he's he's with um, Good friends with pastor mike signorelli and isaiah saldivar if you know who isaiah saldivar is You Um, they're part of the demon slayers, um, but my wife sent me one of his sermons and I just saw it. And the first thing that caught my eye was he has a real long beard and I like beards.

So I'm like, you know what, I'll listen to it. I'll listen to it. And I pressed play. And the first thing he said was. Is I got saved in prison and that just that was that was it for me. I'm like, all right I I want to watch this so I want to hear the story so Fast forward in his story. Now. He's a pastor. He has a whole congregation and now he's starting to have all of these issues of like anger and It's getting to a point to where now he feels like he's gonna get like aggressive physical with his wife and And, um, he ends up having a meeting, uh, with, with the people that work in the church.

And somebody says something and it sets him off and he snaps. He said, um, and I'm a paraphrase, of course, but he said that the next thing he knows is that he's on the ground slithering like a snake and there's a demon that's, or not a demon, excuse me. He's on the ground slithering like a snake and there's an angel that's holding him down And everyone in that room is just casting demons out of him.

And up until that point, he didn't know that a Christian can have a demon. So, um, now he's this big deliverance guy. One of the biggest deliverance guys, um, probably that you can find around. And when I watched that, that sparked something in me, which I know now is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit started, you know, it planted, he planted a seed, you know, and now I'm thinking, well, I have all these issues.

I have, I have trauma, you know, suicidal thoughts, um, you know, anxiety, depression, I'm addicted to porn and alcohol. So I'm like, well, maybe, maybe I could possibly have, you know, some type of, you know, demonic oppression, you know, so then I started looking into it and looking into it and ultimately ended up, um, having a very, very intimate moment with my wife where I repented for a lot of things, renounced a lot of things.

And I truly, truly believe that I was delivered that night. Um, Isaiah Saldivar, um, one of those, the, the demon slayers, he was scheduled to come to a church down here in Stockton where I live at. And I went to go see him a few days later after that intimate moment with my wife. And I believe that was the icing on the cake.

But I truly believe that I was delivered from all of that. Um, at the drop of a dime when I repented and renounced everything. There is such power in a praying wife. And I think that we need to be mindful of how powerful our prayers are. I've had a family member in the throes of addiction and is no longer.

And I know that prayers mattered. Praying for labors to be sent that that person would hear. Praying for God. I mean, I would pray Ephesians one and three over him daily, just insert his name. Huge power in prayer. I think sometimes It's crazy for Christians to think about demonic forces anyway. I mean, I think we can see in the world right now that there is good and evil.

I think we can walk into a room and go, Oh, something feels good in here. Something feels evil. You can feel that presence. You can feel that energy. I think some people get a little freaked out when we say cast demons, even though it's very biblical. And I think they get even more freaked out knowing that.

Christians can have a demon attached to them and, or have demonic influence. And this is an interesting topic. So you didn't think before that that was possible, correct? What made you realize that it was possible? Um, that interview with Alexander Pagani, you know, and then just some of the research that I was doing.

You know, I started really digging deep into it and just understanding my own patterns and cycles. And, um, especially, you know, like with the spirit of perversion, you know, and watching, watching porn and, you know, those cycles. And everything just lined up so perfectly. I'm like, this has to be it, you know, and I tried, I tried everything else.

I tried to quit on my own. I tried, you know, alcoholism. I tried to quit on my own and nothing worked. And that's just it. Cause I wanted to go back to that too. So we've had guests who, um, early on before we rebranded as a Christian channel who weren't not Christians and they struggled with. addiction. And every day was like a new day to fight this addiction.

And I think that is the difference between the Christian experience and the non Christian experience is you are literally delivered from and that fight is gone. Is that, is that what you've experienced? I'll say yes, 100%. However, Um, you know, the bible talks about when a demon is casted out of a man, it goes and roams a dry place, comes back, sees its house swept and clean and then goes and find seven more, you know, more worse than itself.

So, so for me and forgive me, I can't remember the exact scripture. I think it's in Matthew. um, that lets me know that a demon can come back, that same spirit, you know, of alcoholism of perversion. It could come back. So always going to be tempted. Time seven. Yeah, absolutely. And, and, and I had that revelation not, not to go too far off topic, but the revelation of, it's crazy if anxiety is a spirit, if You know, um, suicidal thoughts are a spirit.

So that's, that's seven times, you know, however many each individual, you know, so then you can see how legion ends up, you know, you're oppressing or, or, or possessing someone, you know? And I think that's why we have to be careful not to open doors to it. Right. And we don't get to entertain it. We don't get to entertain where the enemy is.

And I think the, the instruction here for me during my. struggles was, okay, what is the Holy Spirit leading me to do? Okay, you're leading me to not watch this movie. Yeah. Right? Discernment. And I'm going to watch it anyway. What's gonna happen? Well, bad things can happen. And, and the scripture is very, very clear that we are to submit to God, submit to the Holy Spirit, right?

Hear Him, yield to the Holy Spirit, resist the enemy, and He will flee. But that doesn't happen if we don't submit ourselves to God, if we don't yield to the Spirit. You have to do that first. You also have to protect your eye gates and ear gates. Yes. And that, that goes back to what I was getting ready to say.

You know, like, yeah, you're delivered, but the enemy knows how to tempt you. You know, he's not gonna attempt you with something that he may, but nine times outta 10, he's gonna attempt you with something that you came out of that he knows that he can tempt you with. Like, so for me, I never did any crazy, you know, wild drugs.

The only thing I ever did was marijuana and like. He doesn't even tempt me with that now because he knows better, but, um, you know, every now and then there may be a craving, you know, so, you know, somebody who doesn't struggle with, with perversion, they might not get tempted with sexual perversion, but if they struggled with, with gluttony through eating, then they're going to get tempted with food, you know?

So you have to know your open doors, you know, because the difference is, is, When you get delivered, those demons are no longer on the inside. They're on the outside waiting to get in. So they're not speaking to you from the inside. They're speaking to you from the outside. You know, and as soon as you take a bite out of that carrot, you know, you, you can, you can invite that back in, you know, and then, and then you might even be worse off.

Well, and that's where, where we get into trouble because we hide from God because we're ashamed. And then the whole self loathing shame guilt spiral happens. So I, I, I relate to this from a food. I have, I, you know, I used to struggle with food, um, and recently am there again. So I'm feeling it exactly what you're saying.

Yeah, real time. Let's talk a little bit about deliverance because that's a little bit of Christianese that not everybody completely understands. Can you tell me, um, a little bit about what that means? In the Bible, you know, Jesus, basically simple, um, explanation is you're casting demons out of people, demonic spirits.

And what a demonic spirit is, it's a disembodied spirit. It's a person without a body. And these spirits, they can't. You know, they can't eat, they can't drink, they can't have sex. They can't do any of this stuff without a body. So that's what they need us for. And, you know, in the Bible, Jesus casted demons out, you know, uh, quite a few times, you know, and And like you said, you know, that, that's what we're called to do.

And I might add into that too. So my understanding of deliverance and make sure, you know, please, please feel free to correct me is we were redeemed. We were redeemed when we said yes, when we accepted him and decided to lay down our life for Jesus. Part of that redemption package is our freedom from this bondage.

Yeah. Now, we don't necessarily get the bondage if we don't receive it. So, this deliverance is this release from this bondage, like addiction, like what the enemy would like to trap us in, this imprisonment, maybe, I would call it. If you've ever been in addiction, you'll understand what I mean by that. Well, the Bible talks about a snare, you know, and a snare is a trap.

So it's freedom from the trap. Yeah. We are free from it. And, and I've experienced that enough to know that that's a real thing. Like there is a real freedom and not being a slave to my food. There's a real freedom when I can go to God instead of the carbohydrate closet. You know, and that's a tricky one because it seems innocent because it's food.

Yeah. But it's not, folks, we'll do another podcast on that one day. It's tough because, you know, we do have our, you know, our, our, our, our flavor, you know, our taste buds and all those things, you know, and the receptors in our brain get triggered. I mean, there's, there's commercials and food's everywhere now, you know.

And you have to eat. You do. Yeah. But the Bible also says to, to crucify your flesh and die to yourself, you know, die daily. Yes. You know, and that's, that's truly what that means. It's, you know, like. Um, you know, like, like fasting, for example, biblical fasting, um, you know, or just any kind of fasting, you know, intermittent fasting or.

You know, any kind of diet that you could get on, you know, in a way, you know, even worldly people were dying to themselves and they don't even realize it. So you participated in a 21 day water fast that you spoke about in one of your, um, videos I stalked you in. And, um, can you kind of share with a little bit about that with us and that how that contributed to your healing?

Yeah. So, so it's crazy because I actually ended up doing a total of 28 days. Within a month. Um, I had wanted to do a seven day fast. So in December of last year, I knew that I wanted to end the year on a fast and roll into the new year on that same fast. So, during the middle of that fast, uh, Pastor Vlad Sapship, he's one of the guys that, that kind of, you know, was good friends with Pastor Mike and Isaiah, I mentioned earlier.

And he said that he was going to do a 21 day corporate fast with his church, but I was in the middle of mine. So I was like, ah, you know, I guess I'll catch him on the next run. But then I ended up finishing my fast. And I want to say a couple of days later, Pastor Vlad got on and said, Hey, we're going to start our fast next Monday.

And then instantly, like I just felt, I have a pretty fasted lifestyle. I fast the first three days of every month. I fast every Tuesday. I've done multiple, uh, seven day fast, uh, multiple three day fast. And I'm pretty in tune to the Holy Spirit when he's calling me to fast. And I instantly felt it and I'm like, I mean, still I'm going to pray on it.

Right. And even my wife was like, I don't know. I don't want you to hurt yourself. You know, we got to use wisdom. You know, you just did a seven day and I'm, and I'm like, you know, even when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness by Satan to turn, turn the rock into bread, you know, Jesus said that we don't, we don't, we don't prepare to learn bread alone, excuse me, but by the word of God, you know, and.

So I'm praying and praying and I think I had what like a four or five day layover basically after my seven day fast and then jumped right into a 21 day fast. Um, so to answer your question, the healing for me, I think more so it was for my wife. Um, she had a lot of generational things going on. Um, there were a lot of things that attached onto her when I was living the lifestyle that I was living prior to my deliverance.

So we ended up having to do deliverance on her quite a few times. Um, in the matter of even going after my fast. We did like five, six different sessions of deliverance on her. So there was much breakthrough in that regard of, of her being healed from some of the things that she was healed from for me, um, my connection to the Holy Spirit grew so much in those 21 days.

prior to that. And even now, uh, I would just pray like, Lord, like, I want to hear you. Holy spirit. I want to hear you. You know, I want to, I want to have that fellowship with you. I want to have that relationship with you. And, and during those 21 days, and a lot of times when you, when you do the, the, the spiritual fasting, you don't necessarily see the breakthrough during the fast.

You'll see it after as well. Um, just like Jesus, when he did his 40 day fast, uh, for 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness. His ministry started afterwards hearing his voice more and more throughout that process, but after my fast Like I, I hear from him a lot now, um, and, and I also have the discernment to know when it's him speaking to me, you know, and, and just being obedient to, to counseling my flesh and, and, you know, not questioning like, is that you or is it me?

It's like, no, I know what it's him, you know, so. Um, I hope that answers your question. Yes, it does. My sheep hear my voice. Yeah. And I think so many people struggle with hearing his voice. Yeah. But this puts you in a really, like, I don't know, a compressed view, uh, or a really, like a crash course in hearing from God.

Yeah. And so you, there's no doubt in your mind who is speaking. Yeah, for sure. Because a lot of times, or actually most of the time, pretty much every time, you'll know The enemy is going to try to just like you mentioned with Adam and Eve, you know, he's, he's going to do the opposite of what the Bible says.

He's going to, he's going to do the opposite of what, what, what God says, you know, so when God speaks. There, a lot of times there, there's a, a immediate reaction to it, like, Oh, well, maybe not. Or there's an objection to it. You know what I mean? Like when, when you're, when, when you're connected to the Holy spirit that way and, and, and going back to the trauma and everything that I came out of, I was so used to hearing from the devil for almost, almost 39 years of my life.

Like I can, I can tell when it's, when it's him. versus the Holy Spirit, you know, um, it's always going to be something that's the opposite of what God's, what God's talking to us about. I think something else important that you said that I just want to make sure that we hear was your wife was dealing with things too that could possibly have been introduced by you.

So I think this is what we have to be careful of. We're not just affecting ourselves when we make these decisions to not listen to God. We're affecting our whole family. And How is your family now, in comparison to, like, pre drinking, post drinking, or what did that look like? It's so different. The power of yes is crazy.

Um, my yes as a father and, you know, sacrifices as a father, you know, the Old Testament, you know, Bible talks about, you know, the high priest, you know, how they will go and like the author every morning. So my obedience to waking up extra early every day. Going to light that altar for my family, buying my own oil, you know, that oil now is spilling off onto my family, my wife, my kids, to where now my, my kids are prophesying, they're having dreams and visions, my wife, you know, she's, she, her coming into an alignment with me as the covering of their home, of the home, you know, now she's always been prophetic ever since she was a child, she's just now realizing that through, you know, the Lord pouring that wisdom into us, Um, but now she's starting to take off with her prosthetic gifts and, you know, our home is just completely, she likes to say, um, completely flipped right side up.

She doesn't like to say, uh, flipped upside down. So completely flipped right side up. I mean, we're, we're, we're in our work, you know, our kids, you know, just seeing, you know, cutting out all of the worldly and, and, um, lukewarm things we were doing, I mean, we'd be watching movies together on our movie nights and.

You know, we'd watch movies about violence, you know, my, my oldest boy was like 14. I'm watching John wick with him at the time. And, you know, not really knowing, you know, Christians a lot of the time, and this is why the word says not to be ignorant to Satan and his, and his, um, devices, because we can be ignorant to how, how he attacks us, how, you know, you know, he opens those doors to us, you know, and, and we just didn't know.

And once we started throwing stuff away, like physically throwing stuff in the garbage, I mean, I, I threw away video game systems. I mean, we, we threw away clothes, anything that was suspect. We tossed it. So this, this sounds extreme to people. Okay. So this was extreme to me when I first came across this.

teaching. Um, but it is biblical just so everyone knows is the enemy will use any way in. And though we didn't have the internet and the TV in the, when the Bible was written, they are available now and the devil will use them as a tool. And I mean, that's just a simple way of looking at it to help you cross that bridge.

But you know, I, I have watched a movie that I knew I wasn't supposed to end. It was at about the occult and I thought, Oh, you're being weird. Like I, I could feel the Holy Spirit nudging me. And I'm like, no, that's not really like, this is just a movie. It did have some demonic overtones, even though it was kind of about a Christian family overcoming that.

Even the music was a little evil. My husband wasn't even where he is now at that time. And I don't know. know if he was even saved. And he goes, this is bad. We got to turn this off. And for him to say that at that time. And I'm like, well, I want to know what happens at the end. But this is what happened afterwards.

Unlimited chaos in my life. It was bizarre. And when I prayed about it, and this sounds extreme to people, but I prayed about it. and we cast a demon out and it was over. The chaos ended that day. And my husband who, who wasn't even completely there was like, because we, you know, I prayed for our house to be cleansed and my husband could feel it lift.

He, he could feel the oppression lift. And he is not the guy who would say that. I promise you. Wow. So. I, I do believe that the enemy can use any device, any device to get in. For sure. And you have to look at the word entertainment. The word enter tainment. Oh, interesting. Yeah. It's. Wow. It's, everything is an open door.

And I always tell people too. Like I've told people at work and everything, you know, you think about when you're watching scary movies because, you know, most of us have done it, you know, I, I know some people who haven't, but most of us watch scary movies and all those crazy, crazy things. You know, you're watching a movie and you're like, wait, pause it.

You hear that? Oh, no, I'm just tripping. Right? Like, no, you're actually hearing something. Cause you don't let something in. That is really true. And I just heard somebody say something on one of my social media accounts about the lyrics of music. And I was thinking, yes, right. You know, I'm careful about my music, but more importantly is like, Yeah.

You're repeating those words. You're saying them out loud. Yeah. Life and death is in the tower of the tongue. We have to be careful about not only what we're letting in, but what we're saying. Yeah. And just flippantly repeating demonic lines. And I grew up in the 80s, so I really kind of like 80s rock. Oh, yeah.

It's a bummer for me. It's a bummer for me now. Yeah. It really is because there's so many songs where I just start hearing, I'm like, turn that off. I can't, my spirit won't even allow it. Yeah. Same here. And I, I grew up on, wow, we were the party house growing up, you know, so it was always like dominoes, you know, like I said, alcohol and music, you know, my mom would go to Tower Records.

I'm sure a lot, a lot of people might not even know what that is, but my mom would go to I do. Hey, Tower Records was, that was the spot back in the day, you know. Um, but my mom, she, she would go there, grab all the new music and, um, we were just always around music. So, you know, solid gold oldies, you know, like Temptations and Delphonics and, you know, my parents were, they were well versed in music, you know, so they'd go from listening to like REO Speedwagon to listening to like Gangsta Raps.

So we were exposed to so much and, you know, when I, when I completely submitted my life to Christ and got delivered from everything. Um, I immediately just, I didn't have an ear for it. I didn't have a desire for it anymore, but I was like, you know what, I'm going to go back and listen to, you know, like the Delphonics and, you know, the Temptations and I'm like, okay, maybe those are okay, you know, Blue Magic and all those old school bands.

And as I'm listening to it, I'm like, there's a lot of lust in these songs and I had to turn it off. Like it just, it just wasn't. It wasn't hitting the same, you know, like my ear, like, isn't that interesting? Yeah. My spirit just did not feel it. And I just, I haven't listened to it since even when I'm at parties still to this day, like I'll hear, you know, like a, like a niece or nephew's like birthday party or something.

And. You know, just the music that they're playing. It might not even be, it might not even seem harmless, you know, because it's that type of music, you know, or, you know, the old school funk music, you know, a lot of it's talking about partying and bumping and grinding and, you know, and it's just my spirit's like, Oh, I have to pray like, Lord, protect my ears from, from this, you know, and.

Um, yeah, it's crazy how the Holy Spirit speaks to you. Isn't it? This is what I just love about what you said. This is what I think people struggle with too, who, who don't live a submitted life quite quite yet, who haven't completely laid down their life and they're, they're learning or they're growing is they think it's going to be so much work, but I heard what you just said.

It's not really work. Jesus just, gave you a distaste. Your spirit just says, nah, that's not for me anymore. It's not like you had to work and like toil and dig ditches to get rid of this feeling. No, no. Well, that's what it means to be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Yes. You know, you are created new when you, when you submit to him, you know, and.

It's really not work. You know, sometimes, you know, my flesh will go back and be like, ah, I wish I could, you know, watch those movies again or, or listen to that, those songs again. But it's like, I go back to this for what, for what, you know, I came from that already, you know, that, that man has died, you know, so, so there, there, there should be no desire there.

So, it sounds like you are really good about getting, you know, hearing from God and getting those temptations and those things out of your life. Are there other things that you do to guard your heart and to guard yourself from the, from seven more coming back in? Oh, I'm speaking in tongues all day long.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Oh, with the alcohol. Race gun. Yeah. Um. Or anything, really. So I just really don't have, have a taste for the alcohol, period. Um, at first, uh, it was a little bit of, of a, of a, of a, I don't want to call it a struggle. I'd have a taste here and there, but, um, I just, it's like out of sight, out of mind for me.

You know, like I, I, I could be around alcohol, no problem. You know, anytime there's a temptation, you know, I struggled with the spirit of perversion for pretty much my whole life, you know, I was introduced to porn when I was like five years old by my parents, you know, they introduced me to a cartoon version of it, but still the seed was planted, you know, um, the gangster rat back in those days had a lot of, you know, sexualized, you know, objectifying women, you know, content to it, you know, My parents, like I said, they were on drugs and, and, and did, you know, the alcohol and stuff.

So they watched a lot of movies. They shouldn't have watched in front of me, you know, like the, the old Friday, the 13th movies, there was always that one scene where they were like in the tent, you know, uh, and then he'd come after they, after they did what they did, you know, so, so those seeds were planted.

So, you know, like, like with, with sexual perversion or, or any of the other, you know, temptations that may come across. You know, I just, I'll just start talking in tongues, you know, I got to do that all day long. Sometimes, you know, I mean, an apostle Paul said that, you know, thank God that I speak in tongues.

more than any of you. So I always keep that in mind as well. You know, that, that helps me, you know, as far as my armor. I, yeah, I think that is very edifying and encouraging and refreshing when we speak in tongues and another controversial subject for us. Yeah. So let's, um, but it's in Acts. It's a thing.

Yeah. Read to Acts 2. Yeah, absolutely. So I, I do believe. It's an important part of our relationship with God, something I don't probably do enough of. I'm not, I need to do more of it. You have daily rituals. Did you have those before you quit drinking or did that come after? That came way after. You spend time with God, you pray, you get up early to hang out with him.

Is that what I heard? Yeah. You speak in tongues. Do you keep alcohol out of your house or away from you? Do you keep that door closed? Yeah, so I actually have a bunch of pictures that I've been waiting to share on my social media of, you know, Me because we were kind of like the party house too, you know, I got I got you know Seven kids six in the home and all my kids are pretty much like we have like the whole summer, you know Sewed up, you know, uh, we have like april June july august so we're always having you know birthday parties throughout the summer at our house.

We have a pool in the back You know, so, you know, we would just always have, you know, what, what everyone needed, you know, we'd have beer, we'd have alcohol. And, uh, for the longest time after, you know, we went on this, on this radical walk with the Lord. I just had it in the cabinet and I don't know if I was just being too lazy to dump it or what.

And that's what I mean by like no temptation at all. You know, I had alcohol, plenty of alcohol. But I just had a moment where I was like, you know what? I'm gonna dump it. So I just, I dumped it all. So now we have zero alcohol in our house. That's awesome. So is that hard, or was that a hard transition with friends who kind of expected that from you?

Uh, family? For them, uh, more so. Um, but I can't really speak for them. But it wasn't hard for you? It wasn't hard for you? No. No. Because that's a common thing I think for people. It's like, this is what they do for their entertainment. And when, this is interesting to me that you grew up in this life, you even were the party house and that wasn't hard for you.

That's really cool. Yeah. Um, for me more so it was the, the making the decision to send the message out to everyone and say, Hey, you know, just a heads up, you know, you know, the walk that we're on, you know, if we just ask that you respect. You know that there's no no alcohol and no secular music, you know during these parties and I never got a response, but I mean, at the end of the day, you know, you know, we said what we said, you know, so people still come to the parties, no problem, and we all have a good time.

You know, there's just no alcohol and no secular music involved. It's probably more fun. Yeah, for sure. You probably have more fun and better memories. And I actually went on a, went on a journey of finding different genres of, of Christian music. Um, somehow I stumbled across, you know, I mentioned like the, the older groups like Temptations and Delphonics and some of those groups.

And I ended up coming across a bunch of music from that era. That's gospel music. And you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference. Yeah. Um, I'll share some with you sometime if you like. Um, but like seventies, uh, funk music, eighties funk music, like the sounds are there, but you, you wouldn't be able to tell at all the difference unless you're really paying attention to the words.

Like they're, they're, they're glorifying God in those songs. So, now during the parties, I play that and people, people, uh, they vibe to it, you know, it's a good time. Dancing to it and everything. When you decided to quit drinking, there, there must have been like a breaking point or something where you said like, I can't live this life anymore.

What, can you kind of take us through that process of what you decided and then how it looked like with you and God? I would say it was, you know, like, like I said earlier, there was so much going on leading up to my deliverance, you know, I was, like I said, I was having, you know, suicidal thoughts. I was severely, severely depressed, you know, I was going to work every day, just going through the motions, motions.

going to work, coming back home and and just feeling like just just trapped in this in this dark cloud. Um, and you know, just drinking every single day without fail. And it just got to a point to where I was like, Now that I know that it's a possibility that I could have, you know, this, this demonic oppression, I'm like, well, I need it.

I need to try this, you know, because I've tried everything else. I've tried quitting on my own. I've tried, you know, I had insomnia as well. I had insomnia pretty much my whole life for as long as I can remember. Like I said, we were the party house. So, um, I remember going back to like six, seven years old, not being able to sleep at night, you know, just laying there in the dark.

You know, struggling, you know, and, um, I tried taking pills for insomnia to help me sleep. You know, Benadryl, all this type of stuff. And it got, it was just, it's like, all right, like, if this is it, then this is it, you know? And, um, I can't remember any particular moment with God that I had where I was like, well, if this is it, Lord, you know, Um, it wasn't until after I had my deliverance when I really came to him and was like, you know what, Lord, I've been listening to the devil my whole life.

You know, now, now I want to give you your time, your time. Like if anything, I was mad at the devil and I'm still mad at the devil that now that I'm on my walk with God and I'm hearing from him the way that I'm hearing him and I still don't hear from him the way that I would like to, like, I would love to, to, to hear from him more and.

You know, but I know it's a process, you know, building that relationship with the Holy Spirit. But I was so angry at the devil that he stole 38, almost 39 years of my life. Cause I got, I got delivered about a month before my 39th birthday. And I still, I think about it sometimes and I'm like, I get so mad at him, you know, because I think about where I am now in such a short period of time.

If I would have been walking with the Lord for that amount of time, like, where would I be, you know, on my walk with the Lord? How would I be hearing from him? But, you know, the, the, what, what the devil intended for evil, you know, the Lord will turn around for good, you know, and that's where we're at. And I pray double portion over your whole family.

So Can you tell us a little bit about, I guess I'm looking for more of like a step by step to like, like that was great, but I'm, I'm wondering, like, what did that deliverance process look for? So if somebody is going through this, what did this look like for you? So you had enough. Now what does this deliverance process look like?

What was that decision and how, how did that work? I told my wife that I had to talk to her about some things because I knew we were going to see Isaiah Saldivar on a Sunday. This was. A Thursday when I got delivered and I had told her I needed to talk to her about some things because I knew previously I had a friend of mine.

He was a, um, he's a pastor, but he's a, he's an ex Norteño gangbanger, a Mexican gang out here in California and his father used to do deliverance and there were times when, um, like the pastors will be trying to do deliverance on someone and the demons would call out secrets. Um, That, you know, evil things that the pastors were doing, you know, so I didn't want my wife to find some of these things out like the porn addiction.

She didn't know. She never knew that, that I, that I dealt with that until I confessed to her. So I knew that, that I wanted to, to have this moment with her because I didn't want her to find out openly like that. So luckily she had already been studying deliverance, studying Isaiah, Saldivar, and all these guys.

So she had a list of things when, when we sat down together, she had a list of things that I needed to repent from. Um, and. basically break off of me. And, and that was the process. Um, I wish, I wish I could have this whole like extravagant story, you know, but when, no, no, I think that's, that's good. Yeah. She had a list of things that I needed to repent and it was like a whole long list of things that I needed to break off of me.

And I mean, I'm talking about generational curses, you know, witchcraft. I did that with her and then she prayed over me. We prayed together, you know, um, there was a lot of tears, you know, because like I said, so there was confession. Yeah. So there was confession, confession, repentance. Um, and you know, just helping other people.

Okay. And, um, yeah, we had this moment together where we're crying. Cause like I said, a lot of this stuff, she didn't know that I was dealing with, you know, so, um, so yeah, we, we had that moment and then we went to go see Isaiah. A few days later on Sunday, and I went to the altar call that was an interesting experience because he's calling out Jezebel at the end of the service and all these people are screaming, you hear Jezebel screaming out of people that was a crazy experience for me like I never I never seen that like in person before.

And that was, that was interesting, but did the altar call had, had a wonderful gentleman, uh, pray over me, uh, and my wife. And I truly believe that the night I repented to my wife and had that moment where I was, I was delivered. But that Sunday was like the icing on the cake. And, and it's been no, no looking back ever since.

Our lives have been completely, completely different. Praise God. Yeah. So my husband and I, we're going to do a podcast we were supposed to do it last week and I, well, he keeps trying to not do it cause he's a little camera shy like your wife and, and We're talking, we want to talk about the brutal honesty and that's what changed our marriage.

Like, so like when we just came clean and it sounds like this is part of your process too. So you confessed, you guys got really honest, you repented, you prayed, You cast out the demons and you were delivered and your life changed. Absolutely. Yeah. So these don't seem like hard things. Like I think these are, these are steps everyone can take and they're also biblical.

All deliverance is, is prayer, you know, prayer and telling someone to leave and you know what, what I could. And knowing your authority. Absolutely. Yeah. We all have that authority to cast a demon out, you know, and you know, through the power of the Holy Spirit, of course, but. You know, when I compare deliverance to, it's like if, if you have an infestation in your home, you know, whether it be like mice or cockroaches, ants, whatever, right?

Go to the store, you grab a couple of foggers, let them, let them off, walk out of the house for a couple of hours, come back. They're all gone. They're all, they're all dead. You know. You're delivered. Done. You know, and that's what it is. That's awesome. It's removing a pest. You know, that, that thinks that it owns your home, you know, during deliverance, they say, they say, no, he's mine.

She's mine. No, this is not your home, you know, and that's what it is. When I hear stories like, no, no, when I hear stories like yours, I'm sorry to interrupt. I get so excited. You're fine. When I hear stories like yours, I get so excited because you have had every dart. You got hit as a child. You got hit with trauma.

You got hit with addiction. You got hit with not understanding what love was. You got, understand with shame, I mean, you got hit every which way in the story and you rose up and you overcame and it just makes me just know what a mighty man of God you must be that the devil was so intent on sending some demons your way.

Like praise God and you should be mad because you know what? He doesn't deserve any place in your life. The enemy doesn't. And what you're going to do and how this is going to change your family for. generations to come is what is really cool. I'm so thankful because I, I look back at, I mean, there's so much I can tell you about my life story.

You know, we'd be here for quite a while, but I look back at moments like when I was my senior year of high school, you know, when I had a baby on the way, um, they adopted a rule at my high school where any senior that got in any kind of trouble, if you, if you got in trouble one time, you wouldn't be able to walk with your class.

And I was the first male in my family to go straight through and graduate without dropping out. My father dropped out, came back and was still able to graduate on time, but I was the first one, you know, so there were so many different trials that year and my parents, they were on meth real bad that year.

Um, I'd wake up in the middle of the night hearing my mom talking to herself and I'm like, we should talk to like, she's in the dark, just talking to herself and I'd go and I'd and yeah, she's by herself and I mean, I know now that those are, those are demons, you know, that she was talking to, but, um, I say that to say that, um, now I'm 17 years old.

I can physically walk away. Like I don't have to deal with this, you know? So there were moments where I was sleeping in parks. Um, you know, I, I'd run away, go sleep in a park, go to school the next day with the same clothes on, no food, luckily I had friends that would take care of me, not even knowing the situation, but.

Then I, I come back home, you know, day or two later, we'd argue because like, I'm the target. I'm the oldest. I'm the target, you know, which going back to what you said, you know, revelation, you know, the spirits knew that there was something about me, you know, so, um, I'd run away or they kicked me out. I'd go back to a park, sleep in a park again, you know, and You know, I just think about those moments.

And that's why I like this, you know, this shirt, you know, kept this hat that I have on, you know, kept is, you know, that, that word kept is so synonymous with my life, you know, and, and how the Lord like truly kept me through all these moments, you know, as I'm sleeping in a park, you know, the morning dew on the grass, like I have to decide whether, I sleep on my jacket, so I'm not wet and cold, or do I cover up with my jacket?

I'm like, well, I have to make this logical decision at a 17 year old boy to lay on the jacket because I don't want to be wet and cold. You know what I mean? So, um, just, just sad. Yeah. Like I, I look back at that and I'm just like, Lord, Lord, like, like you truly, truly kept me in so many different ways.

Cheers to you. He kept you, he chased you, he left the 99 for you, like you are the story. He did, he did, you know, and my life is a true testament to how, how God's grace, you know, and his mercies, cause there, there were times, you know, I, I dabbled in stuff that I shouldn't have dabbled in, you know, I, I, I drove drunk when I shouldn't have drove drunk, you know, there were times when I could have killed myself, killed somebody, you know, and, you know.

His mercies, his mercies are new each day. And, you know, I'm so thankful for that, you know, after you give your life to God and you're on that walk with him and you had that relationship with the Holy Spirit, he'll give you a lot of revelation. And, and I've been getting so much revelation on my past, you know, and on my parents, you know, the things they're dealing with and, you know, how like, you know, this moment I could have died and I would have went straight to hell.

You know, so I'm thankful. I'm sure I'm sure truly truly thankful, you know that that that he kept me, you know to now to Um be on a platform like yours, you know to tell the story your own platform is pretty cool Like I think you have such great content and he saved you for very good reason Thank you.

So do you have any advice for others like that might be struggling with addiction spiritual oppression? deliverance for sure. And don't be scared by that. People see, you know, we just have like this vision of these old like exorcist movies and stuff like that. You know, that's, that's extreme. You know, like I had no manifestation.

Um, it was just something as simple as having having a prayer with my wife, repenting, confessing. And next thing I know I had no more insomnia. I was no longer, you know, I hadn't had no more anxiety, no more suicidal thoughts, you know, all that stuff. Nope, no more alcohol addiction. Um, some people do, but don't let that scare you.

You know, the the storm is You know, sometimes the worst right before it's over. I think it's scarier to keep that with us, isn't it? It should be scarier to keep that demonic presence around us. For sure, you know. I mean, that should be scarier. Yeah, I mean, because it's, it's like I said, it's a pest. It's something that's there.

It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It doesn't mean you're, uh, A horrible human being, it means you just want to be delivered from something that does not belong with you. Right. It's like if you have a sickness, you know, ideally I would hope that somebody would want to go to the doctor for it, right? You know, like if you have a.

You have a tumor or something, you're going to go in and get it cut off. It's the same thing, but worse. It is. You know, like you have, you have a person or multiple people inside of you that are controlling, you know, what you eat, what you drink, what you watch, how you speak, you know, how you, how you treat your spouse, you know, it's, it's a mess.

It is a scary thing to think about, but we can rejoice and knowing that the Lord is there to he died for us for one, you know, so that we can be redeemed from all this stuff. And he died so that we can have the Holy Spirit and power to remove these things from ourself and from others. You know, I know several people who delivered themselves.

You know, you can go into your prayer closet or wherever you pray at and just repent, pronounce it, tell it to go. Tell it to go multiple times if you have to and. It'll leave. And if you're not comfortable, like, so I owned a gym and there was definitely something wrong there. I was early in my faith and not understanding any of this.

I did call people who understood. They came and prayed over the gym. All of the craziness stopped, like reach out. Reach out people. Like God created us for relationship. We're all at a different part of our journey. You know, email me, direct message me. I'll, I'll pray over you. Yeah, for sure. Same here. I mean, that's what we're here for.

That's what makes us happy is to see people free. Strengthen the brethren. Yes. Yes, expand the kingdom, make us strong. Looking ahead, what are your goals for your spiritual journey and your family in the next coming years? I just want to continue to grow closer and closer to him, continue to hear his voice and hear him louder, more clear.

Um, I'm at a point in my life right now where I've been raising kids my whole adult life, pretty much. And I've been working my whole life, you know, which most of us do. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm thankful for the career that I have. But I'm at a point now where now that I'm on this walk with the Lord, now that I have this online ministry, I want to, I want to do away with the normal, you know, nine to five and I want to be able to focus on the ministry itself.

You know, wake up in the morning, have prayer, my alone time with the father for a few hours, get into the word, whatever he gives me, you know, by the time my kids wake up in the morning before school, give them the word, have some prayer, maybe a little bit of worship, you know, and then just get into the ministry, you know, after they go off to school, you know, and, I really just want to, so you want to be full time ministry.

I do. I want to, I want to be full time ministry, full time, uh, content creator. And, um, you know, just wherever the Lord leads me, you know, wherever he needs me to say yes at, you know, how high he wants me to jump. You know, I'm just, I'm just here. Like I'm, I'm truly, truly, you know, just sacrificing everything that I have to him.

You know, the word says that, you know, it's his breath in our lungs, right? So our lives are not our own. Um, you know, everything, everything is his, you know, so, you know, wherever he wants me to go, that, that's where, that's where I'll be, you know, but I do definitely want to focus full time on consecration and ministry.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with our listeners about your testimony, your faith, overcoming challenges, anything that we missed? I feel like we covered a lot, but is there anything that God's prodding you to, to mention? There's so much that I could mention, uh, but I will say this. Um, like I said, I didn't come from this, you know, Christian background, you know, where I was raised in it.

I was raised, I was raised in the middle of the nineties during, during the Pete crack epidemic. So I seen some of the, some of the worst evil that any of us could see, you know, before I was 10 years old. You know, and then I went from that to when I lost my grandmother. I lost my son. Um, I remember leaving the The doctor's office and I was cussing god out, you know, I f ing hate you.

I f ing hate you How could you f ing take my mom? Excuse me. How could you f ing take my grandmother? How could you f ing take my son? You know, so not to say that I was an atheist, but I but I but I was so far away from god You That, you know, it's crazy because I still had the discernment, but I was so far away from God.

Like I didn't know who he was, you know, and you know, the Lord is always going to be right back, you know, to, to welcome us with open arms, you know, and for someone who, who can, who can grow up in that environment, grow to hate God for taking, you know, two, two people from me, you know, that I cared about and to where I am now being healed and delivered from.

What I experienced and what was dealing with, the torment that I was dealing with, you know, the guilt, the shame, um, the, the rejection, everything that I dealt with my whole life to just trust and have faith that what I'm dealing with is demonic and having faith and trust in the Lord that when I say these prayers, when I confess, I will be healed.

And by doing that, I was healed. And this is me now. Like, I'm a totally different person now than, than what I was last year. I mean, I was cussing everything. I don't cuss anymore. God healed me from all of that. Some of it was a process, like the cussing, I would still slip every now and then, and I'd have conviction, but.

I say that to say, if He could do it for me, He could do it for you, 100%. And I promise, I promise you that. I promise you that. Amen. And you weren't out digging ditches. You're just spending time with God. Absolutely. Yeah. Sacrifice. Thank you so much for coming on today, Joshua. I just want to say to anyone out there watching that we've all fallen short.

Josh has shared his story of falling short. I've fallen short this week of the glory of God. Um, we both decided we needed a Savior. because we couldn't earn it on our own. We couldn't earn being saved. We couldn't earn being into God's righteousness, into his presence on our own. There's no way to earn that.

The only way that we get to is somebody had to pay our debt. Somebody had to pay our fine for our trespasses, our sins, and that was Jesus. And both Josh and I have come to the decision that that was good, that we are so grateful. I, I am. Have a hard time when I think about all he did for us, the torturous walk he walked to Calvary, how he was humiliated, mocked, beaten.

For us, what he went through for us to pay our sins so that we could be translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light, so that we could live in redemption and redeemed from our sins so that we could be co heirs with Christ. That is the gift, that we don't have to walk in that land anymore, that we can walk in light.

And it's not perfect. I'm not perfect. I still fall short. He still lifts me up. He still changes me. If that's you and you want to say that Jesus is your Lord and repent and be saved and be born again, you can do that. And we, we can just say a prayer with you right now that, and feel free to jump in Josh, that just say these words.

God, thank you. Thank you for sending a savior. Thank you that there was no way I could earn your grace, but that you gave your son. You gave me a way out. You gave us a way into a new covenant and a new relationship with you. I am thankful. I am grateful. Jesus, you are my Lord, you are my King. I repent and turn away from that life and I turn towards you.

I will lay down my life and make you my King. I just pray, Father God, that, you know, whoever's on the other side of the screen, that they will hear my testimony, your testimony of how you redeemed me and that, you know, that will touch their heart, Father God, and whoever is on the other side of the screen that's watching this.

If you too want to feel the peace. That I have that I never had my entire life. If you too want to be healed from all of the things that you're delivering with, I, I truly invite you to give your life to God and ask for that same healing because there's no greater thing than, than feeling that love of the father and feeling that that healing just lift off of you immediately.

Mm. Nothing sweeter and nothing more beautiful. Yes, Lord. We thank you. We thank you for, for, for healing. Thank you for we do Thank you all that you've done for us. In Jesus' name. We ask all of all of that in Jesus name. Thank you. And there's one thing I do want to add to, you know, to those who, who are listening that may are, are that, that might be considering, you know, giving their life to the Lord.

Um, and I have to remind myself this all the time as well is repentance is every day. Like she said, nobody's perfect. The Bible says that we're going to fall seven times, you know, but we have to remember that we're, we're going to, we're going to falter, you know, just something as simple as, you know, slipping up with a cuss word.

If I do, you know, I'll feel terrible for doing it, you know, but I just remind myself like it was an accident. I didn't mean it. Lord, forgive me. And it's that simple. You know, the, the Bible says that he throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness, which means we repent. He throws it away and he forgets about it.

If, if, if you fall and you have that feeling of guilt or shame, like, Oh man, see, you know, I, I know, you know, I shouldn't have gave my life to the Lord anyway, because You know, I know that I was going to have these moments. No, those thoughts and those feelings come from the enemy, which is Satan. You know, he is the accuser.

That's what the Bible says. You know, those thoughts, they don't come from God. You know, he throws them away. So that's, that's what I want you to remember. You know, is, is that when we are saved, we are truly saved. Once and for all. Yeah. Yeah. Just, just don't, just don't. You are saved. Just don't sin and, and, and, and keep sinning and keep sinning because then, then, then those spirits are going to come back that were roaming around.

Amen. We don't want that. That's a good, that is perfect. You know, we were, my husband and I were talking and Grace, you Versus, um, earning, you know, your salvation and cause Tyler and I are going to be doing a podcast on that. And did they really repent? Did they really turn their hearts towards God? Because I, I was wondering, you know, if I was saved when I thought I was, cause there was a time when, you know, I believed in God, I, I said the words, but I didn't do the, I didn't do it.

I didn't do the heart thing. And I believed he, you know, was my savior, but I didn't. really follow him. Yeah. And I think there's a difference of that repent and turn away. And I want to make sure people know that somehow, because I think that's the part nobody taught me. Like it is that repent. It is that turning away.

Yeah. It is that turning and living your life as a sacrifice, a living sacrifice for him. Absolutely. So I don't know. Yeah. Jesus said, go and sin no more, you know, and that's what we're, that's what we're meant to do. Go and sin no more. You know, so, so we can't, it's not that I won't, it's that I don't want to anymore and I want to do better and be better.

Right. And the Holy Spirit will give that to you. You know, it's the repeated and unrepentant sin. You know that Yes. That, um, oh well, well, God knows my heart. You know, that's a saying. You know, but I will, I will say this and I don't know if this is going to make it in, but I will say this, um, after you, you are, you are truly delivered from all that, that, that you dealt with those strongholds and, and torment and all that.

The enemy does a good job of trying to make you think that you're not fully delivers because I experienced that. I experienced that. So we're like. It's almost like, like Apostle Paul when he, when he, when he said that he begged God to remove that thorn in his flesh three times, you know, and it's like a reminder.

So for me, like I've, I've had moments where I'll, I'll be like tempted with something, you know, I'll be like, like with perversion, you know, I'm tempted with something and tempted with something to a point to where it's like, like, am I, am I really delivered? And, and, and the devil's slick because if you fall into that, you're like, well, maybe I'm not.

And you actually give in now, he got you, you know what I mean? So, so beware of that tactic as well. You know, that the enemy will, will try to do his best to make you think that you're not, you're not deliberate when you actually are. Well, what I was thinking of when you were saying that. about the devil trying to steal your deliverance was, and you know, this verse that comes after is your grace is sufficient.

My grace is sufficient. God's grace is sufficient. And so when I, when I'm encountering a struggle, I like to just say his word repeatedly at the end of me, my, his grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient. I just say it, say it over and over. That is what I'm speaking about. It's kind of helps me to transform my mind to say His Word and to believe it.

And I think there is power in our tongue. Absolutely. I tell Satan to get people behind me like multiple times a week. Sometimes multiple times a day. Because we can tell when he's trying to get this. I'm just like, I'm like, Oh, no. Can't think behind me. Say, I got to hit him with the old KJV on that one.

That's awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much, Josh. This was really, really interesting and fun and this is really why. This story like this is really why I even wanted to do this. I'm so grateful. Thank you. And grateful to your wife. Please tell her hello. Hello. And I'm grateful to praying women like her that lift up men like you.

Praise God. And by the way, his wife Paige also has a platform that I'm going to be putting on here that if that's okay, if she's going to be okay with that. Yeah, she'll be fine. Okay. Cause she has great content. She does. Thank you. So we wanna share that. Thank you. And, and thank you for Well, thank you.

Inviting us provi, inviting me. Excuse me. You know, I, yes. I love what you're doing over there. Some of the conversations that you have. Oh my gosh. The body of Christ needs it. I'm praying that, that your, that your podcast will blow up in Jesus name. Oh, people need to hear these conversations. Thank you. I received an Amen,

Thanks Josh. You have a good day. And you too. Thank you so much, . Okay.