010. drama, drama, drama at work

In this episode, we dive deep into the heart of drama within the startup ecosystem. Drama and comedy aren't just elements of a good story; they're parts of our everyday work lives, especially in the fast-paced, high-stakes world of startups. Our host discusses the natural human tendencies that lead to drama in the workplace and offers a fresh perspective on managing these dynamics to foster a more productive and positive environment.

We start by exploring the concept of work as drama, drawing on insights from David Whyte's "The Heart Aroused" and the idea that all the world's a stage. This sets the stage for a deeper understanding of how we, as founder CEOs and team members, often find ourselves amid workplace drama, playing roles in a real-life drama triangle of victims, persecutors, and rescuers.

Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, our host guides us on recognizing these roles within ourselves and others and, more importantly, how to step out of the drama triangle. By becoming more self-aware and engaging in a more constructive and empowering manner, we can transform our work environment from conflict and drama to creativity, productivity, and fulfillment.

Tune in to learn how to navigate the complexities of human emotion and interaction in your startup, breaking free from the drama triangle and leading your company to success with grace, humor, and resilience. Whether you're a founder, CEO, or part of a startup team, this episode is packed with valuable insights on turning workplace drama into a force for positive change and innovation.

Don't forget to subscribe to "business is art" for more episodes that blend the art of business with personal growth, innovation, and the pursuit of impact.

Creators & Guests

Host

Ramon Estrada T

Executive Coach for Founders

What is business is art?

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Unlike other shows about successful entrepreneurship, only we dig into the founder’s and leaders’ journey from purpose, mindset, strategies, and tactics to making an impact and achieving exponential growth.

Ramon: 00:00

Don't you love a good story or reading a book where there's comedy, where there's drama? But do you want it in your start up, in your company, at work? Maybe not. Let's talk about it.

Narrator: 00:18

Business artists learn how to channel their purpose, vision, and talents while navigating the proper strategies and tactics in their

Ramon: 00:41

It is part of human nature to feel alive, to show our emotions, to share our ideas, to act upon whatever is important for us.

Ramon: 00:51

And when we are interacting with other people and those other people with us, there might be an exchange of energy, of ideas that maybe we don't like or they don't like and drama unfolds. Have you faced it? Maybe in a ever changing business world where we are full of challenges, we would say that the volume of drama is way higher than comedy at work. And I think we should always also look into comedy and levity and doing things in a lighter way, bringing our minds to open instead of being closed into these, the tentacles of drama of doing things in a way that we feel vulnerable or attacked or things like that. And I see this as a wonderful opportunity to explore together, you and I, in this episode, how drama unfolds and why is it relevant to know about it and how to face it so we can together go and fulfill our goals and feel successful.

Ramon: 01:57

Let me start with a part of a poem from David White on his book, The Heart Aroused. It's, the first paragraph of what's called the difficulty and drama of work. Let's go. Work is drama and our inability to live vitally upon its stage has as much to do with the modern loss of dramatic sensibility. The lost sense that we belong to, the difficulty and drama of work.

Ramon: 02:28

Work is drama and our inability to live vitally upon its stage has as much to do with the modern loss of dramatic sensibility, the lost sense that we belong to and play out our lives as part of a greater story, as it does with the acknowledged alienation of the 20th century work environment. To quote a Shakespearean cliche, repeated to death because it is so stubbornly true, all the world's stage. Work is theater. The place where life unfolds to our tragic or comic satisfaction. So all the world's a stage.

Ramon: 03:11

Right? What does it mean? That at certain moments, we are actors, and we are interacting in this place with other actors. And this is what doctor Stephen Cartman brought up in 1961 where he developed the drama triangle. What does it mean?

Ramon: 03:30

The drama triangle speaks of 3 roles that we can take or people around us can take in any situation. It's not only about work, but now we would like to talk about the work environment. And the three roles that we can take are the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer. What does it mean? When we are, let's say, we are a founder and at some stages, we hire a person to do certain work, let's say operations, and we want this person to organize our company, to organize the pipeline, to implement some, systems to fulfill our work.

Ramon: 04:10

And this person does not fulfill our requirements or is not coping with this, we can play the victim. Right? We can say, oh, this person lied to me. I thought he or she was going to be the right person. I heard that the previous experience was doing something similar, but results are not coming.

Ramon: 04:32

So we play the victim. It's not about them. It's about us. We feel hurt. We feel that things are not going well.

Ramon: 04:39

And, of course, our mind is about we did our best by hiring this person. It's not my fault. It's the other person's fault. And this is about playing the victim. Now what happens here is that, as you can see, we lose all the power of choices of doing something relevant about it by downplaying into being the victim and blaming others.

Ramon: 05:06

The fun part is that when there's a victim, usually, there's another person that becomes the rescuer. So what has happened to me when I was an entrepreneur, I have faced this and I was playing victim every time I got home and I wanted my wife to hear about how hard my day was and I wanted to vent up. I wanted to open my heart and to share what was happening and my wife became the rescuer. What's a rescuer? It's a person whose role is to take care of the victim, is to say, oh, yes, I hear you, but don't worry, You have to try about this.

Ramon: 05:45

And this role can perpetuate as long as the victim is there. But if you see, if that person is just pampering a victim, the victim stays as a victim and the rescuer stays as a rescuer. So this is the part that is interesting. There is this interplay between the different roles. And there's a third one that is the persecutor.

Ramon: 06:09

The persecutor would be the role of a founder, as in the first example, where we want this person that we hired to do the job. So at first, we might become the victim, like, really, oh, I feel so bad. This person is not doing the job I hired him or her to do. Right? So I'm feeling bad.

Ramon: 06:31

And then suddenly, I get the surge of energy, of rage, of anger, and I pinpoint and I blame this person or his or her face by not doing the job. So I'm becoming a persecutor. I am blaming this person directly and making everything his or her fault. Do you see how this plays? This is a drama, and it creates a lot of friction, a lot of suffering.

Ramon: 06:59

If we don't realize, at first, that we need to be aware of how this triangle unfolds and then at certain moments, we can play all 3 at the same time just in a matter of seconds. Also, what's the drama triangle in your company? I want to ask you something. Bring into your mind that favorite person at work in your company that it's triggering you, that it's making you feel not appropriate, or that it's giving you problems. Now that you have done that, go to the next stage, which is, okay, what about it?

Ramon: 07:36

What do you want to do with her? What do you want to tell her or him? So the deal here is that there is this character and there is this reaction from your side. So are you right now on the 3rd stage, which is, would you recognize that once this person is triggering you, what do you want to do? Are you playing the victim?

Ramon: 08:00

Oh, poor me. It's not my fault. Are you the persecutor? Do you want to go and, you know, take the sword and start chopping heads? Or do you want to be the rescuer?

Ramon: 08:11

You're not doing the right job, so I will show you. This is what happens a lot with entrepreneurs and founders, that we feel, in a way, victim that the others are not good enough, and then we become the rescuers. We are there for everybody. We want to do anything that our team members, that our even clients are not doing, and we are there for them. And eventually, we forget that we have other choices.

Ramon: 08:41

And this is where we need to step away from this drama triangle and realize what are the energetics and what's this dynamic that these 3 roles are having in us and how we are just being reacting. Because if we are self aware, we notice and we calm down and reflect about how this drama is affecting us, we might change the choices and to be more proactive, to be more creative, to understand about how by playing a little bit more in a meta level, in a level language we are not in any of these roles, but we are cocreating with the other people around us, we can be more powerful, we can have more choices, and we are more open to create new possibilities. And with this, we are not subject to comedy or drama, but we are there to work and to fulfill our dreams and our goals.

Narrator: 09:43

Thanks for listening to Business is Art. And if you like what you heard, subscribe to the show, so you'll be notified when a new episode drops. You can also check for more free resources at business is dot art or check your show notes for a link. Godspeed.