Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

The power of creating the reputation you want to have.

Whether you know it or not, you have a brand. What that brand is, says Lorraine Lee, doesn’t happen by accident. “You can either form and create it, or you can let people define it for you.”
A teacher, content creator, speaker, and author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence and Catapult Your Career, Lee helps people improve their communication presence and define their personal and professional brands. “Your brand is essentially your reputation,” she says. And while she acknowledges that “it can feel intimidating” to actively steer how we’re perceived, her EPIC framework helps navigate this challenge by examining our Experiences, Personality, Identity, and Community.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lee and host Matt Abrahams explore strategies for showing up memorably in both virtual and in-person settings. From crafting "unique and powerful introductions" to honing your online presence, Lee’s practical advice shows how to communicate your brand in today's digital workplace.

Episode Reference Links:
Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:20) - Tips for Virtual Presence
  • (03:53) - Public Speaking Insights
  • (06:38) - The Importance of Mentors & Sponsors
  • (07:53) - Personal Branding on Social Media
  • (10:28) - EPIC Career Brand Framework
  • (12:53) - Unique & Powerful Introductions
  • (15:08) - Conversational Threading
  • (16:17) - Avoiding Resting Business Face
  • (19:26) - The Final Three Question
  • (23:27) - Conclusion

  ********
Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.

Strawberry.me. Get 50% off your first coaching session today at Strawberry.me/smart

Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host
Guest
Lorraine K. Lee
Corporate Keynote Speaker | Instructor at LinkedIn Learning, Stanford

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.
Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Your brand is your reputation, and
communicating it effectively is critical.

My name is Matt Abrahams, and I
teach strategic communication at

Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to Think Fast
Talk Smart, the podcast.

Today, I'm really excited to
speak with Lorraine K Lee.

I've known Lorraine for several years.

She's a teacher, content
creator, speaker, and author.

Her latest book is Unforgettable
Presence, Get Seen, Gain Influence,

and Catapult Your Career.

She works to help people with
their communication, presence and

finding their authentic voice.

Welcome, Lorraine.

I am so excited to actually
be talking to you in person.

We've talked virtually for a long time.

Thanks for being here.

Of course.

I'm so excited that you have me here.

Excellent.

Shall we get started?

Yes, please.

Awesome.

When we first met many years ago, you
were helping me learn how to use more

complex and useful visualization tools.

One of the things that you taught
me that I thought was really helpful

virtually is you want people to be
able to see you and see your face.

A lot of us sit so far away
from the camera, or we look like

we're in the witness protection
program sitting in the dark.

So there's a lot of advice that you gave
around just the physical setup that we do.

So it's not just what you say, it's
how you're presenting yourself.

Anything else you suggest to
help us show up virtually better?

The reason that framing is so important
is that, like you said, not only does it

allow us to take up more of the space,
but when we frame ourselves correctly,

it will make it feel like we're having
more of an in-person conversation.

And when you frame yourself
correctly, it allows you to use

your hands more naturally on
camera, and that's a huge benefit.

Because there's been research that
shows that when you use your hands

on camera, you appear warmer, more
personable, more energetic, all

of these really positive things.

But so many of us, when we're at
home, we keep our hands on our laps.

We keep it on our mouse, on our keyboard,
and so they don't appear on the screen.

But they're one of the main
ways that we communicate, that

we strengthen our message.

And again, all those positive
adjectives, so to be able to have

more body language on camera is key.

Absolutely.

And when you gesture on camera in the box,
be it Zoom, Teams, Meet, WebEx, whatever,

your gestures have to be higher up.

When we gesture normally in person,
they're mid chest, and when we gesture

on screen for them to be shown, I like
to coach people, put your thumbs at your

shoulders, and that's how it looks good.

I think it's really cool that you took
a class that I started teaching for

Stanford Continuing Studies a long, long
time ago and haven't taught for a while.

And you stepped in and it's a
public speaking class open to

anybody globally to take the class.

I'm really curious, what are some
things that you have put into place?

I know you've made it your own,
that you really want to get

your students to take away.

So what are two or three key
takeaways from this class that you'd

like students to have that all of
us listening in can benefit from?

The first thing is that mindset is so
important, and I know you talk about

this a lot, that nerves are a natural
thing and it's okay to be nervous,

and what you have to do is just make
sure that the nerves are not taking

over and making you forget things and
want to run off stage and all of that.

But that we need to learn how to harness
the nerves because they actually help

us focus more and be more attentive.

And so I think that mindset piece
is really critical when it comes to

public speaking and that anyone in fact
can be a really solid public speaker

with enough practice and repetition.

And then another thing I talk about in the
class is the virtual communication piece.

And so to be able to know how to present
yourself virtually is going to be key.

Whether you are presenting, whether
you are in a team meeting, meeting

new clients, a one-on-one meeting.

I had this student, Laurie, and
she took the public speaking

course, and she saw that there was
a module on virtual communication.

And she told me afterwards, she was
like, oh, I didn't really think that

this was relevant, and I just showed
up because I paid for the class.

And then afterwards she was like,
wow, I didn't realize all the

things that we have to think about.

And then she upgraded her setting.

She got the new camera, she got lighting
and herself, she felt more confident

knowing she looked really great and not in
witness protection, like you said before.

And also all the other students
as well, they noticed it.

So it really can be a confidence booster.

And again, it takes a different set
of skills, different intentionality

to make sure that you're showing
up how you want to virtually.

Absolutely.

So in terms of the anxiety piece and
the mindset that you're exactly right,

a lot of communicating effectively
is having the right mindset.

And seeing that anxiety is something
that actually is normal and natural.

It means that what you're doing
is important and it's something

that you and others experience.

It's a normal and natural thing.

So helping normalize that and
giving people the opportunity to

practice, I think is critical.

And really helping integrate the
notion of virtual speaking just

with communication in general.

The class, when I taught it, we
didn't touch virtual speaking at all.

Now, of course we hadn't gone
through the pandemic then, but I

love that you're integrating the
two and that you're really helping

people not just see for themselves,
but giving people that feedback.

One of the things I tell people all
the time that if you want to get

better at communication, you have to
do communication and you have to get

feedback from others, and I love that
you're continuing that tradition.

So thank you and thank you on behalf of
all the students who take your class.

You are a very successful,
talented, and confident young woman.

What advice do you have for others who
are starting their careers and who might

be struggling to find their own voice in
those careers that they're striving for?

I would say it's really important
to find mentors and sponsors.

Those two things are different.

So a mentor is someone who will coach
you, who will share about their own

personal experiences, who might ask you
important questions to help tease out

what exactly it is that you're struggling
with, that you're looking to do.

And a sponsor is someone who is going
to advocate for you and really bring you

along with them and open doors for you and
say your name when you're not in the room.

And so having both of these people,
we don't need both at the same time,

depending on what your goals are.

But having one or the other or both,
depending on what your goals are, are

going to be really helpful to have
that extra hand, to give you that

guidance, to give you that feedback.

I'm so lucky, Matt, that we met and
then you immediately were like, if

you're looking for a mentor, like
I'm open to it, and then you've also

sponsored me and opened doors for me.

And so having that and having someone
who believes in you and to open those

doors for you and then you do the
thing, like the Stanford Continuing

Studies course, you mentioned I
had never taught a training so long

before, but you gave me the chance.

I did it.

I have more confidence now and I
continue to improve and iterate.

You made it very easy to help you.

You come with so many talents.

You have lots of great advice and
guidance for personal branding.

Can you share two or three things that we
should be thinking about as we go about

making our brand known on social media?

Mindset is so important.

We all have a brand already.

So I think when people hear the phrase
personal brand, they think, ooh, that's

maybe icky or sounds disingenuous, or,
I'm not a company, I don't need a brand.

But personal brand is
essentially career brands.

A brand is in service of helping you
grow your career, reach your goals,

and so to know that we already have
a brand, I think is the first step.

And your brand is
essentially your reputation.

And so you can either be really
intentional about it and try

to form it and create it.

Or you can let people define it for you.

And so hopefully you're doing the
former and then as you start doing

that, platforms like LinkedIn are
really critical because LinkedIn is

now our virtual water cooler, our
virtual landing page, and I like

to say the ultimate virtual office.

And so you want to be seen
at work right, in the office.

And so if you're not on LinkedIn, I think
that really can negatively impact your

presence, how people see you, your brand.

And on the contrary, if they see
you there and it looks amazing and

you have everything filled out and
you're posting content, you're going

to be elevated in their eyes like,
wow, Matt has a really amazing brand.

And the really exciting thing is that
can happen even before they've met you.

So a lot of people have come to
me and say, oh, Lorraine, you have

such a strong LinkedIn presence.

And they say that to me like after
we've met in person, but they have

an impression, a positive impression
of me even before having met me,

which is a very powerful thing.

So I mentioned before,
creating content is really key.

Networking on LinkedIn.

Some of my closest friends now are people
who were strangers on LinkedIn before.

And then making sure that
you're commenting and engaging

with other people as well.

So not just pushing content, but
really being part of the community.

I want to dive into that last part
first because a lot of people can

be intimidated by social media
tools, LinkedIn, et cetera, but you

can actually take some baby steps
just by commenting and contributing

to other people's conversations
before you initiate your own.

And for me, when I first got started on
LinkedIn and other social media, that was

a much more comfortable step coming in.

And I really like this idea of thinking
about your brand as your reputation.

Allison Kluger, a colleague
of mine, a friend of mine, she

studies and teaches reputation.

She has this saying that I
love, which is, your reputation

is the echo that precedes you.

And I like that idea and having that
social presence be consistent with who

we are already makes a lot of sense.

Congratulations on your book.

You have a new book coming out.

I think it's great.

In it you introduce the concept of
the EPIC career brand framework.

What is this and how can we leverage it?

I created the EPIC career brand
framework because when it comes to

thinking about our brands, creating
our brands, our reputation, it can

feel a little bit intimidating.

Like, where do I start?

What am I known for?

And so EPIC stands for experiences,
personality, identity, and community,

and so I'll dive into each of those.

So experience, these are the life
experiences, work experiences that

have made you who you are today.

Personality, what is your personality?

Are you more serious?

Are you introverted?

Are you extroverted?

Introversion is a big
part of my personal brand.

I talk about it a lot on LinkedIn.

Identity, so this can be
your cultural background.

It can be the values that are very
important to you in the workplace.

So for example, relationships
are very important to me.

Following through and being known as
that person who is going to do what I

say I'm going to do is very important.

So that's part of my identity.

And then the fourth piece, community,
which I think a lot of people forget

about sometimes is, okay, you have
a great brand, you have an idea of

what you want to be known for, but
is that how your network and how

your community sees you right now?

Because if there's a huge disconnect,
then something has to change

something's off, and you have to
figure out how are they perceiving you?

Are you perhaps leaping too many steps
ahead for what you want to be known for.

And so checking in with your manager, your
peers, your cross-functional stakeholders,

that's going to be really helpful to make
sure that you are aligned, that people

are seeing you as you want to be seen.

And then of course, your career
brand can change over the years.

We all evolve and our priorities
change, but that's a really great first

step to start thinking through it.

I love that not only is it a way of
helping define how we think about

our branding, but it's actually
a guide of how to determine it.

So you can actually think about
each of those components and

think about what is my identity?

What is the identity I want to see?

So it serves as a way of not
only packaging it up, but as

a way of thinking about it.

And I think that's great.

When you talked about community,
you talked about checking

in and getting feedback.

We're not the best judges
of how people see us.

And so getting that feedback.

So to me, I heard you say you
first have to reflect and then

you have to solicit feedback.

And then iterate, right, as you evolve.

And that's great, and I need to spend
a little time going through your

framework as well as I continue to
expand whatever the brand is I have.

I really like that you took
time to think about how we

introduce ourselves to each other.

Introductions can be so important
and so nerve wracking for people.

I'd love to hear how we can
craft what you call a UPI, a

unique and powerful introduction.

So what goes into a unique
and powerful introduction?

There's a lot of things
that can go into a UPI.

I think that's the beauty of it.

You can pick and choose depending on what
setting you're in, who you're speaking

with, but this idea came to me because
when I was working in tech, a lot of the

times I would hear introductions and it
would really feel like a throwaway moment.

Oh, hi.

I am Lorraine.

I'm a whatever title.

I'm an editor, or, hi, I
sit on Lorraine's team.

Nice to meet you.

To me, there's so much more that we do.

It really can impact how confident
we feel, others' perception of us.

And so what a unique and powerful
introduction is, is yes, it can

be your role and how many years
you've been at the company, which

a lot of people like to share.

But take it one step further.

Give me a little bit more like,
what does that title exactly mean?

Because it can mean one thing to me.

It can mean one thing to you.

So share a little bit more.

Do you have a mission statement or success
metrics that your team is working towards?

Do you have a specific target audience?

And that way I know as your coworker or
perhaps a colleague outside of work, I

know what I can turn to you in the future
or what I can get help for depending

on what you've shared with me already.

And it opens up the door
to more conversation too.

If I say I'm an editor and I leave
it at that, it's like, okay, and they

share their role and then that's that.

But if I elaborate a little bit, then
I give you little bits and pieces to

utilize conversational threading and to
grab onto that and ask a little bit more.

I love that an introduction is more
than just your name and title and

that you can use it as almost like
a movie preview to get people more

interested in you and to really be
strategic about how you think about it.

One of the things that I teach, and I
like to do for myself personally, is I

like to challenge myself when I introduce
myself never to start with my name.

I like to start with something that I'm
passionate about or something, one, it's

different than how most people do it, and
two, it allows me to convey an emotion.

It's really hard to convey an emotion
about your name or your job title, and

so I love that you're building on that
and giving almost a recipe for what

makes for a good, powerful introduction.

You mentioned something that
I wanna pull the thread on.

You talked about conversational threading.

I certainly understand what that is,
but I'm curious if you'll share with our

audience, when you say conversational
threading, talk to me about what that

means and how that might look for us.

Conversational threading is so
important, especially when we are

communicating virtually because so many
of us are on autopilot now, where we

jump onto the call, how are you, Matt?

I'm good.

How are you, Lorraine?

I'm good.

Okay.

That's the end of the conversation.

But small talk is a really powerful
way for us to build relationships.

And I know it gets a bad rap, but that's
because a lot of us are on autopilot

and it's not interesting conversation.

But when you can offer up threads for
the other person and then also know

how to pull on threads that you hear,
so you share where you're based, or

something that you did earlier that day
that made you really happy, now I learn

a little bit more about you and we can
create some more genuine, authentic

conversation and get to know each other.

And so, small talk, and again,
especially virtually, because we're

not passing each other in the halls.

That's such a critical way to build those
relationships and to build that rapport.

And so conversational threading,
it takes a little bit more thought

for you to remember to ask the
questions, remember to pull on the

threads, but it goes a long way.

And it's a tool to build that connection.

We've already talked about presence
on video a little bit, but I'd

like to dive a little deeper.

You talked about resting business face.

I actually chuckled out loud because
obviously that's a play on something else.

I'm curious if you can share with us
some very specific best practices.

You've already talked about
gesturing, you've talked about

perhaps curating what's behind us.

What are some things we can do
to make sure that we really shine

when we are virtual and on video?

Yes.

Resting business face.

This is a thing that
happens a lot because.

Back to back meetings, especially
virtually, we are tired.

We don't want to be on another video call.

And so video also mutes
energy a little bit.

So we just don't seem as
expressive, as energetic as

we might if we were in person.

And so one simple tip that I like to
share is to smile or to think about

something funny before jumping on a call.

I know that takes a second to sort of
reset before getting on a call, and it

sounds like obvious advice, but you'd
be amazed like the, the difference it

can make when you look happy, when you
look like you want to be there when

you look excited to talk to the person.

And, and this translates very well to
virtual presenting as well, where you

want to show that enthusiasm, that energy.

And so that's a very simple tip I think
everyone can implement and especially

something when you are nervous and
presenting, that one can really counteract

that and make sure that people feel
like you are excited to be there.

A little secret that I used to use when
we all first went to being virtual.

I would watch a really
short, humorous clip.

I have lots of comedians I like,
and I would watch just a joke

or two, and that would just put
me in a very different space.

'Cause often I was rushing
from place to place.

There are acting techniques I know, and
by no means am I an actor ,where if an

actor has to portray a scene that has
a certain emotion, they'll try to think

of a time in their lives when they had
that emotion so we can put ourselves

in that non resting business face.

Lorraine, I knew this was gonna be
fantastic with lots of useful information.

Before we end, I'd like
to ask three questions.

One I'm gonna make up just for you,
and the other two are standard.

You ready for that?

Yes, I'm ready.

Okay.

So you've mentioned this notion of
introversion a few times, and I know

that you self-identify as an introvert.

Can you talk to us a little bit about
the advice you follow yourself and you

give others who are more introverted?

Clearly introversion affects the way we
communicate and can be very positive.

But I'm curious to know your thoughts.

With introversion, it's really
important to remember that

we have so many strengths.

I think sometimes corporate America
can feel like it's made for extroverts.

It's an extrovert's world out there.

But we do bring a lot to the
table, and I think part of it is

knowing what those strengths are.

So, you know a few that come to mind.

The first one, we talked about
relationship building earlier when

it comes to mentors and sponsors.

You might not be the loudest in a
room full of people, but you are

wonderful at connecting one-on-one.

And business is built on relationships.

People are going to want to help you,
advocate for you, promote you, right?

If they like you and they know you
and they feel connected to you.

So the relationship building
is one very important skill.

The second one, I would say is
introverts are really wonderful writers,

and so to be able to communicate
your idea clearly, to summarize.

I feel like, Matt, you're
doing this so well.

Like you're listening to me
and you're picking out, okay,

what are the key themes?

Like that's very helpful because in a
world that's go, go, go, and there's

always something else to do, to be able
to slow down and process and say, okay,

this is what I'm hearing and this is
what I think the next step should be.

That is going to be invaluable, especially
during times of change and stress.

I think it is so important
for introverts to realize that

they have so many superpowers.

You know, in the coaching practices I
have and the students I teach, a lot of

people who will identify as introverts,
think they're at a disadvantage.

And in fact, there's a whole
bunch of research that says the

thoughtfulness, as you mentioned, the
relationship building, the question

asking, that is all beneficial.

I am an extreme extrovert.

I talk first, think second, and that
can get you into a lot of trouble.

I like how you said that introverts need
to think about their strengths and find

other ways and avenues to communicate
that might feel more comfortable.

So writing versus speaking, using the
chat versus speaking in a virtual meeting.

I love that advice.

Thank you.

Question number two.

Who is a communicator
that you admire and why?

Normally I say your name, Matt.

I'm not just saying that because
I'm on your podcast right now.

So you, and I'll say, I had the
chance to interview Daniel Pink for

my book, which was very exciting.

And he has some great advice
around communication, keeping

things clear, concise.

So I'll have people read the book
to see what he has to share, but

he's a wonderful communicator.

Yeah, Dan is a great guy.

I had him on as a guest and he is somebody
who's very kind and always open to

helping and he has great stories to tell.

Final question.

What are the first three ingredients that
go into a successful communication recipe?

I would say clarity of your message.

Relevance.

So you have to understand your
audience and what they need.

So it might not be what you want to share,
but they need to hear something else.

And then the last thing I would
say is presence, both how and

where your communication is seen.

So clarity, relevance, and presence.

And I like what you said about presence.

It's where, as well as how, you show up.

And that's something I think
we all need to think about is

where do we do the communication?

And that's not just what's in your
background when you're on a virtual

call, but do I pull the person
aside into a small conference room?

Do I make it on a phone call?

Really appreciate clarity,
relevance, and presence.

Lorraine, this was an EPIC conversation.

I love that acronym and I
love what it stands for.

Thank you for helping us better understand
how we can lean into our personal brand

and leverage specific communication
skills that you teach your students, that

you write about in your book and that
you demonstrate in your communication.

Thank you, and I wish you the
best, not just on the book release,

but everything that you do.

Thank you so much for having me.

This was great.

Thank you for joining us
for another episode of Think

Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn more about virtual
presence, please listen to episode

six, seven, and thirty-one.

This episode was produced by Ryan
Campos and me, Matt I Abrahams.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder.

With thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

Please find us on YouTube and
wherever you get your podcasts.

Be sure to subscribe and rate us.

Also follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram
and check out FasterSmarter.io for

deep dive videos, English language
learning content, and our newsletter.

Please consider our premium offering
for extended Deep Thinks episodes,

AMAs, Ask Matt Anything and much
more at FasterSmarter.io/premium.