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Are you ready to take the steps necessary to thrive? Join us every episode as host Adam Gragg discusses what is holding us back and how to move forward with purpose, along the way developing healthy relationships and navigating life transitions while overcoming fear, stress and anxiety. Adam is a family therapist, mental health professional and life coach, helping individuals and organizations find the transformational clarity that unleashes hope. Live the life you want, the legacy you decide.
So have you ever noticed that when you're stressed out, you lose your
sense of humor, you lose your creativity, you even
lose, like the ability to connect with other people? Yeah, there's a reason
for that. I mean, we have high cortisol in those moments. I mean, it's like
a stress hormone that puts us in fight or flight mode. And
our thinking in those seasons or situations, it's pretty negative. I
mean, it doesn't. We're not seeing all the potential that we actually have. You know,
gratitude is a solution to getting out of that, to
decreasing your stress. Gratitude, for me, it gives me energy.
It's like if I go and I work through my life and
I say, this is good, this is good. Even when something bad has happened, it's
like, okay, I have the stuff that I need already. I can
lose other things and I'm still good because I have a foundation there. It gives
you courage and I think you can do things to cultivate that. So today we're
going to talk about gratitude and how it fuels bold action. We
got three decisions that you can make that will help make
it stick. You know, practical tools, stuff you can leave today
applying.
So welcome to the Decide youe Legacy podcast. I'm Adam Gragg. I'm
a coach and a family therapist. You know, I founded Decide youe Legacy in
2012. And what we do is help leaders and teams
talk about and face the stuff they're not addressing so they can change and make
long term change, make progress. So today I have a special guest. His name
is Ben Hutton. And I wanted to have Ben on because
he has a new podcast called With Purpose. I've listened to about two
months now. You've had it out. And I was drawn
to it for a few reasons. One, it's short and, and it's practical. And
it has a worksheet. And you guys all know I love worksheets. You can print
off and it has questions that you have to answer to think.
And so I felt like Ben as well has a good, healthy and
unique perspective on gratitude. As I've listened to the podcast. And so we're gonna
talk about this today. And as I asked him to come on, when I asked
him last week, I said, you know, what are three takeaways, like major principles you
give to people on this topic? And he rattled off some things
very quickly. So I'm gonna have him present what these, I call them three
decisions you can make. And then we're going to elaborate on them
based on the questions that I asked Ben. And I'm going to answer some, too,
and chime in, but we're going to move it along that way. So, Ben,
will you share some things about yourself personally and professionally that
would be helpful for the audience to get to know you? Yeah, sure. Well,
first, Adam, thanks so much for having me on your podcast. I'm really
grateful for the opportunity, so kind of goes along
with gratitude, I guess. But I am grateful to get a chance
to tell a little bit of my story and the journey I've been on with
gratitude, because honestly, it
hasn't been pretty, and that's why I've focused in on some of it.
So a little bit about me. I grew up in
Wichita, right where we are right now. I have a
family business that I run, so we do construction and architecture facilities
and maintenance stuff. Outside of that,
married, three kids that are getting way too old
way too fast. But it's been pretty fun
to be their dad and be married to Aaron for more than 20 years
now. Wow. So a little bit of my family history and then just
recently have started this podcast thing because I think I've
learned a few lessons that I want to share with the world so people don't
go through the pain or struggle that I had. Yeah. And so tell us a
little bit more about the podcast. What's its purpose? Yeah. So with Purpose
is a weekly podcast. Like you said, it's pretty short, 10 or so
minutes that we take some time out and we learn a little bit about
business or leadership, and then we take time to
look at the week that we have coming ahead and plan it.
One of my beliefs is that all of us, especially
leaders, have more to do than they have time to do it in.
And so what that means is we have to make choices about what we spend
our time on. And I want to make sure that people are doing that
purposefully. One thing that is unique about
my podcast, I guess, is one, it has a worksheet, which I love worksheets, too.
So that's. Come on. Exactly. I love a good box.
You can print this thing out. Yeah. And yep, yep. So we attach a
special worksheet or planner to every episode.
But maybe the most unique thing is that comes out on Thursday, because
I like to do my planning on Thursdays. And we talked a little bit about
this before, but I do my planning on
Thursdays 1, because I found that it helps me
end the week well, like pick up the things that I have forgotten
about. It sets me up going into my next work week. So I
show up Monday morning with a plan. And I know
what to dive into first. But the biggest reason
is it puts the weekend, the time that I have to spend with my
family and friends right in the center, which
I think is where it needs to be. So I love planning on Thursdays. I
know that's not for everybody. Some people do it Friday afternoon, some people are Monday
morning. But I'm a Thursday planner. So. Yeah, in that
kind of goes along with gratitude. I mean, you're really grateful for the. It's.
It. It belongs in the center. So what do you believe, Ben, are some of
the misconceptions that people have about this whole topic? I mean,
it's kind of. And by the way, we're. We're right here at
Thanksgiving time, so we got Thanksgiving coming up. So this
is a timely topic. But what. What do people. What are. How. What are the
misconceptions? Yeah, I mean, I think thinking about it, especially
in the context of Thanksgiving, one of the first misconceptions
is sometimes natural
for me. And maybe, maybe it is for some people natural just to be
grateful. But the reason I'm talking about it on the reason it's the
first box on that planner that we put out, because it doesn't come
natural to me. I tend to focus in on the negative
things going on in my life and I plan my week from a
deficit or I worry about the things that I'm not getting done
instead of looking a little bit in reverse and being
so grateful for all the great things that are or have happened.
And so I think just the fact that you have to work at
gratitude like that is a task that can be scheduled
is outside of the vocabulary for how some
people think about it. Yeah. It is
a safety mechanism that people don't even realize
they're naturally going to employ. I mean, I wake up. I mean, I would say
that it just every morning is my worst five minutes just getting out of
bed and I'm negative and I have to do some. Have some routines
and in play at play and engage in. So I mean, just think about
it like if you wake up in the middle of the night, are you waking
up because you're feeling just so incredibly, incredibly grateful for something that
happened? No, no. I'm waking up worried about what. What
it is that I forgot or what it is that I have coming up. And
so that's how we're starting most of our days too.
Yeah. Or you just have to really go to the bathroom and you. Yeah, for
sure. I have that crawl back in. So yeah. Part of getting older. Yeah. So
what. Why would. Why should a business leader or a leader in
general, which. I like your definition of a leader on your podcast, one of them
you mentioned, which would be great to really kind of hear. So why should they
pay attention to this topic? Why does it matter? Yeah.
Well, so first, I think leader. A leader is anybody that has
influence. Right. So that can be a business
leader, for sure. Somebody who has authority or, like a position
that has authority. But it's also a soccer coach and a
volunteer at a church. You know, anybody
is really a leader if they've got somebody looking to them for guidance or
clues as to how they're doing in life. So that. By that
definition, I think that covers just about everybody over the age of three or four.
Right. And so I think everybody's a leader, and the reason they should
care about gratitude is because of what you started this with.
If we are leading from a place of negativity or scarcity, we're passing
that on to those that are following us. And that's bad.
I mean, I don't know a clearer way to say it. That's not where we
want to lead from. We want to lead from a place of abundance,
of potential, of what might be. We want to be leaders
that recognize great things that are happening in our world or with our
team members or those that are following us. Gratitude is
the place that we want to start. So what's the first decision
that you shared with me? So the first thing I think that I
have to do, and then I think a lot of us have to do with
gratitude, is actually schedule it, which isn't, like I
said before, natural. But I have found, unless
I start my planning period with that or unless
I put a reminder on my calendar to just take five
minutes and be grateful for something, or to send somebody on
my team a text and say, hey, that was a really great thing that you
did. I don't do it reliably. And so
I have found that scheduling it is actually a really positive
thing for me and for everybody else. How do you do that? When do you
schedule it? How does it stay at the forefront? Yep.
So, well, the first way is that I listen to this new podcast
that is out called With Purpose. No, the first
way I do it is. It is. It's literally the first box on this
planner that I have created. And outside of that podcast, I've been
using this little planning sheet myself for years,
for probably four years now, actually five.
And the first question on it is, what do I
have to be grateful for from this last week. And so
at least weekly, I'm taking some time to really think about it,
and I think that's powerful. There's other times when I
will schedule time on a Tuesday morning to
just send three or four notes to my team members. I
think, certainly coming up with Thanksgiving this weekend,
thinking about how can I bring a true
practice of gratitude into a time with my family? What can I
do purposefully that might feel a little bit awkward just for that first
30 seconds to say, hey, timeout. I know we're having turkey and watching the
Chiefs play, but let's be grateful
for a minute and share with each other what we're. You know, that is such
a great point, because how do you deal with the resistance you get then? Because
I. It's like, people resist this stuff. Yeah. And you're.
You're on the spot. You're kind of awkward. You've thrown them off. They're watching football.
Yeah. Well, so I think
first I'd say I come from an industry, the construction industry,
that this is not a natural thing inside of, like, show up at a job
site and be like, hey, everybody, let's have a group time and hug
each other and be grateful for something doesn't feel natural. But
at the same time, all of us are humans. All of us
crave connection with other people. All of us want to hear that
we are doing a good job. And I have found when, as a
leader, I'm willing to be uncomfortable just for those first few
seconds, everybody is actually really grateful for the
opportunity to participate in that, especially if
it's framed in a way of recognizing the good that they see in
somebody else.
A lot of us don't like talking about ourselves. I don't like pointing
out the things that I have done good. I love to point out the things
that somebody else on my team has done good and celebrate them. And
how does doing that impact your own level
of gratitude within your own life? By giving it to other people.
Oh, I mean, it only increases it. I mean, I think
one of the things. And maybe you can tell me the. The real language
and vocabulary around this, but I think we operate all the
time with confirmation bias, and our brains find what we're looking for or what
we fill them with. And so if I prime
it with people telling me, hey, John was great
at this, and, Ben, you did a good job at this, and I share something
back, like, that puts it in a cycle that begins to repeat itself in
a positive way instead of a negative circle that ends in a bad
spot. Yeah. So when did this. Was there a moment when this became
a true practice for you? And if so, can you describe what
happened that woke you up or you said you had a negative
bend at times in your life? Yeah, I mean, I
can't point to a single time other than that I've had several
times in my life when people that I love
and trust have pulled me aside and said,
hey, am I doing a good job? I need
more feedback from you or somebody
that I love. And my family has said,
I need to hear that you love me and
that and not just where I'm
falling short. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And so
gratitude is just a part of the answer to those things,
but it is the thing that reminds me that I have
to put real effort into having those conversations,
because it's not my natural tendency, which I'm
ashamed of. Every time those
conversations come about, I'm surprised by it because these are people
that I love and respect and I think are amazing people. And I
haven't. I've let them down by not telling them that. And those are markers that
you can reflect on to say, like, I got to remember that kind of stuff.
Yeah. So that's. That's why I created that box on
my schedule to say, like, am I doing this weekly? Yeah. And I think it's
helpful for the audience to know this is not a natural
habit. This is not the way people. Most main. Most people go about their
life. You know, I was. Sometimes, when I've had
difficult situations, these memories come up in.
In my past, you know, and there's certain things that sort of rocked me
to say I have to be disciplined with scheduling and
engaging in gratitude. You know, one of them didn't happen, but four years ago, and
my friend, one of my best friends from. From elementary school, had a stroke, a
massive stroke at age 48. And, you know, it's made our
friendship closer, but it's also just been like, I got to be grateful for
these things. And even something simple, like if I have car trouble,
this picture of me when in 19, in
2000, I got the wheels stolen off my car in the middle of the
night. I have this picture if I have car trouble. You know, it's like, okay,
it could be worse kind of thing. But that's a big
part of shocking me or rocking me to say, I got to get things
back on track and do some scheduling here. And it's even when I decided
to create practices that have stuck. So. So
did you have something to add to that. Yeah. I mean, I think another thing
I shared with you is I think you do have to find things like those
images in your head or something that hangs on your wall that reminds you of
this or keeps it in focus. And one of those
things for me is I
actually have laminated in my shower
copy of Romans 12 because it's
representative of who I want to be in my life.
And so I found a way to put that in a place that I would
stare at it every day. Not
intentionally. It's just there. I cannot avoid looking at it is
literally in front of my eyes. And so it's a daily reminder. And I think
finding ways to keep that in focus, whether it's something that's on
your fridge, a song that automatically plays when you get in your car, like,
how can you design something in your life to put that habit
that you want to have in front of you automatically? That's a big deal. And
it leads into the next decision that Ben had shared with me. Which is what?
Just to keep it in focus. Right. To be intentional. Keep it in
focus. So what's something that you're grateful for that might surprise people, Ben?
Something that I am grateful for that might surprise people
is I am grateful for when people tell me that I'm wrong about things
or challenge me. I think one of the things
that I have going in my life is that I have
risen to a position in my company
that has authority that
sometimes people can be intimidated by. So I love when I get
challenged there. I've also learned about myself
that I am a pretty confident person. When I come
to believe something, I believe it all the way, and
I'm wrong a lot of the time. And I
consider it a real gift when somebody tells me that, hopefully tactfully.
Yeah. But I'm grateful for that. And it's
something that I wish I got more of. Okay.
Yeah. So if I'm wrong about this, you just tell me. Just tell. Yeah. And
do you think people realize that about you, that you want that kind of feedback?
I have tried to invite it. I don't know if everybody
realizes it, but, yeah, I've tried to invite it. This question
gets me excited. I actually asked a business this morning because I thought about,
like, what am I grateful for that people might be surprised by? One of them
is zipper shirts. Okay. Very. Okay. So I've
had trouble finding shirts that fit me. And this. They have a zip.
Oh, wow. Yeah. It's pretty interesting, huh? Yeah. That's cool. So
discovered that now this, I find they're kind of popular, so. Oh, really? Somebody
I know? That was a thing. It is a thing, man. Because if you can't
get, like, fitted shirts do not fit me. Like, they. Yeah, I like. You want
them tighter in. But anyway. And I'm also grateful for toys. Like, I
brought this Brio Labyrinth. I've had this thing since I was 10 years old. And
it's one of the best things for my mental space
to play this game. And I actually love challenging people. Hopefully
not out of pride, but, like, if they can do this as quickly as me,
then there's definitely a prize. You can get all the way to the end. Oh,
absolutely. Yeah. But it focuses your energy, man. It's the best toy,
and it lasts a long time. So I'm grateful. These little things you can find.
I mean, anything come to you like that. Like, just something basic that you're like,
dude, why do I not appreciate that more? That's
a great question. You know,
what actually comes to mind, and it's a little bit off,
is I am really grateful for the show. Ted Lasso. Oh,
yeah. Okay. Have you seen it? I have seen. Yes. I've watched it.
I've watched it three times. Just because I love
the combination of smart humor,
sarcasm, awkward situations,
but then, like, real deep
emotional things and learning that comes with that. That it's like, I
can apply that in my life right now. I think that is maybe the best
show made in the last couple of decades. It's very high quality. It's awesome.
I love it. You're picky about shows like that. I can tell. I am. I
am super picky, too. Yeah. I watched the first series. I started to watch
Billions, and I liked it kind of. And I like. I don't know, a little
bit, but I did watch the first episode, 1883, last night. I
have not seen. And that was pretty interesting. So is
it. People often share that they've had. Like, they've
had. And this is. Well, this is a hard question to answer. It's
not really possible, but what would change in your life? And how would people know
if you were nearly always grateful?
You know, I think.
I think the biggest marker
that would change in my life if. If I was truly always
grateful would be
that I would feel more present wherever I am.
I think. I
think we are.
I think we're walking around constantly worried about
what's coming in the future. And it keeps us from being present and
grateful and participating in what's happening in front of us
right now. And it also
drives us to sign up. Like, my.
My fear and anxiety drives me to sign up for more and more stuff or
put more and more stuff on my plate that I think I need to do.
And I think gratitude,
if I was truly carrying that all the time,
would have me in a place where I didn't feel the need to do that.
If I was always grateful, I think the number one thing people would recognize in
me is. Is that I would not.
They would notice that I'd be a lot more encouraging of other people, that I
wouldn't go to what's wrong? Because I can do that frequently. And I think
the second thing is I wouldn't second guess. I'd just be like, I made
a decision. We're gonna fail, Possibly it's okay. And then I wouldn't
just second guess myself. So what's your quote? So this is
a quote that I love by Mary Jean
Iron. And I don't know exactly how to say her last name, but I think
that's how you say it. But it's. It's essentially a poem. It's
called Normal Day. Yeah. Can I read it? You got. It says,
normal Day. Let me be aware of the treasure that you
are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless
you before we depart. Let me not pass you by
in a quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold
you while I may, for it may not be
always so. One day I shall dig my nails into the
earth or bury my face in the pillow, stretch myself
taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want
more than all the world. Your return. Wow. Cool. I think
that's so powerful because
we all are focused all of the time on the big things that are coming
in the future that we're excited about or worried about, and we
aren't present in what's happening today and the small
treasures that they really are. Yeah, it's the.
It's the normal soccer game or the conversation with my teenager
at 10, 15 that are the real special
times when I can build connections. Dude, I'm so glad you read that,
because I love poetry, and that makes me grateful hearing it,
because I pay my daughter 50 bucks every poem she memorizes. Oh, nice. I'm
so grateful for that because you know what? It's such a valuable thing. Yeah. And
she's in Boston in college, trying to stay connected to her. She memorized it, has
to recite it. And that's a great poem. Yeah, I love it. Yeah.
So you probably heard the saying that whatever you focus on and measure,
you get More of. And so you want to get healthier. What do you do?
You track what you eat, you track your exercise schedule, you want to get more
sleep. Track it. You want to read more, track
it. Gratitude's the same thing. But what do people track
when it comes to gratitude? I think you have to, at least for me,
you have to get really specific about what can
I do, what actions or behaviors can I exhibit
that are gratitude and track those things. So I
have done challenges with myself in the past where it's like, okay,
for the next year, I want to send three text messages
every day to friends and tell them I'm grateful for something.
Or every week I want to send a handwritten note to one
of our clients and say, thank you for trusting us to build your project.
So I think you have to break it down into really specific behaviors because
gratitude is such a big concept. It's like, okay, I'm going to get
better at gratitude. What does that mean? I think it
means specific behaviors. What a great example. Because those are very
specific things of being encouraging people. But
how does. What are habits? People practice that
probably, and they don't even necessarily know it, but it really hurts their level of
thankfulness in their life that they could identify in advance and kind of
get unstuck. I think a habit that
puts you in the wrong place mentally is
making a list of the gaps between where you are and
where you want to be, which is how we measure most goals or how we
make to do lists. Instead of
taking a moment to realize the gain of where we've been and how
far we've come towards those goals and measuring progress or
success that way. So I think that's. That's one way. Yeah.
Just sitting down and outlining every place we fall short,
that's not going to put us in a very grateful place.
What's another, man, I would say
comparison puts me in a bad spot. If I look at their
life or what they have, or even if they're younger than me or
they're older, I mean, they can be in come in all kinds of different
forms. They're a better golfer than me, and I don't want to
play golf because I don't want to be or that's a big deal.
Yeah. And perfectionism just all or nothing.
Like, because it's no risk in that success or failure. Similar to
what you're sharing. Yeah. I mean, I think another one that goes along with that
is letting other people set expectations for us
that we don't buy into or set for Ourselves. So
there's been times in my life that I felt like I had
to be a certain kind of leader or do a certain
thing to live up to what other people expected of me at the time.
And that's really draining
and exhausting to try and be somebody that you're not.
And it was a dark time for me.
Yeah, yeah. And that has there been.
I just kind of curious, like a time you'd say,
this has been the darkest time that I got through. Oh, man,
we're going deep. Yeah. Yeah. The darkest time
of my life was. I think it was
in 2013, but it was at 3 o' clock in the morning. I was
sitting in my office, which at the time was on West
Street, a couple miles south of Kellogg here in Wichita, and I was
sending an email, actually, to my dad, who I
had taken over running the family business from
three years earlier. And I was sending him an email
about everything I felt like was going wrong in the business and how I
didn't think I could continue. Because
for the three years before that time, I
was trying to lead the business like he had. I
was trying to step into the shoes that he had left and
do it exactly like he did, because I thought that's what
leading that business looked like. And so despite the
skills that I had that were different than his, despite
the personality that I had that was different, despite the opportunities
that the business had that were different, I was trying to emulate him instead
of being me. And that put me
personally in a really dark spot. And
circumstances in the business created challenge at the same
time, to the point where I was done, like, I
was on the inside,
totally depleted. Outside, things looked great. The business
was growing, we were successful, our team was awesome.
But there was a huge disconnect. And so it was at that point
that I had to have a little bit of reset for me and dig deep
into, like, what is it that I am actually capable
of? Who was I created to be, and
what did that look like for me to lead the business with those skills instead
of others? That's actually one of the reasons why I have Romans 12 in my
shower, is because part of this, part of that chapter in
Romans talks about the body of Christ and that everybody has a
different set of gifts and skills. And if your gift
is leadership, then you should lead well. If it is speaking, you should speak well.
And it lays that out. And for years I had glossed over that,
but now I read that daily to remind myself that each of us
is unique and each of us should Be the person that we are created to
be, not anybody else. So that leads us to the third. That's a great segue.
Well, first of all, how did you get out of. How did gratitude play a
role getting out of that spot in 2013? Yeah, I mean, I was.
I was in a spot where I was unable to recognize the good
that was happening around me. Right. And so even though we were
growing as a business and things were going in a very
excellent direction in a number of ways, I was only able to focus
on where I was in a deficit. And so
gratitude became an important practice over the next couple of years
for me to really recognize the gains that I had made and
not just focused on the gap. And it became a practice to
make sure that I was planning for the future, planning my next steps from
a place of positivity, not
negativity. No, I think it's probably important to point out that it's a gradual process.
Yeah. I mean, so it wasn't like I sent that email, and then the next
day, it was all good. It was two years of, like,
discovery and change and communicating with other
people. Yeah. It was a journey.
And it's. It's still, like, I still fight some of those battles today.
So what's the third decision? Yeah, so the. The third thing I think
that you have to do with gratitude
is protect that mindset or protect it.
So what. What does that look like? For me, what it looks like
is when I get in my car in the morning and I drive
to the office, I have a specially curated
list of songs that I listen to that make sure I show up
in the right mindset. Now it's 35, 40 songs.
I don't know. It's a lot. But I found if I instead
listen to music that puts me in an angry
mood or I listen to the news and I get depressed about
all of the crap that's happening in our world right now,
I show up in a way worse mood, and I
carry that throughout the whole rest of the day. And so
I have to be very careful to. Careful to protect
just those first few minutes of my day,
because it carries on through the rest of the day for me. Can you do
it even if you're really discouraged? I can. You can still do it.
So here's. Here's what I found. And
actually, there's a study. If you force yourself
to smile for, like, 30 seconds, it releases the
same endorphins as if you're happy. Yeah. Right. And so
when I get in the car and I'M pissed off if I put on that
music from Andy Grammar. That just pumps me up.
Hey, it changes my mood. Like, I don't actually have to be a participant in
it. So. That's a great point. So.
And I love comedy for that reason. You smile, right? Yeah. I
did discover something recently and it's called Impractical Jokers.
Okay. Have you ever heard of that? Oh my gosh, man, these guys are great.
I love this thing, but it's an old show. I can't believe I had never
heard of that until like two weeks ago. But Smile is
powerful right there. And so how does gratitude,
in your opinion, impact long term growth and success?
Kind of addressed it here, but anything else you want to add to that? Yeah,
I mean, I think it is an
accelerator for your long term success.
Can you be successful and be a negative, grouchy,
ungrateful person? Sure. I mean, we've seen examples of
this all over the world and all over the news.
Can you be more successful if you're grateful and have a bigger
mindset and bring people along with you and encourage them along the way?
I think for sure, yes. And I think
that's one of the messages I want to
share with the world. Be grateful, be grateful, be
grateful. And you know, what would
you like to share with other leaders
or challenge other leaders based on all this that would
help them grow? There's one thing you could share. So the
thing I would share is that
we have agency and we are not victims
of circumstance. Jim Collins has a great book called Great
by Choice and the epilogue is my favorite part of that book. He talks about
we have the option to choose to be great
in all of their research that it comes down to this.
Everybody has similar circumstances over the
course of your life. We have similar luck. It is what we
choose to do with the circumstances and what we choose to do with the
luck or misluck that comes our way. And
so my challenge to other leaders that
might be listening to this, to other people that might be listening to this, is
that you have agency. And you can choose no matter
how frustrated you are, how bad your day might have been,
you can choose to be grateful for everything else good
that is happening in your life or even what you might learn from the bad
stuff that is happening. And so gratitude is an active
choice that we make. It's something that we do and you're in
charge of that. You have agency. Okay. And so
a choice you could make is to print off the planner and go through this
plan. Yeah, yeah, I love I love the six areas. Yeah. And
it's like a must fix section. Tasks. Right.
Contacts. Could you share a little bit about that? Because I think that is
a good thing to highlight. And also just how do people get in touch with
you? For sure. To check out with purpose. Yeah. So
you can search out with purpose on all of your favorite
podcast platforms. You can go to benhutton.com
and there's a with purpose section there. You can check that
out. There's a planner. You could download it there and check it out, but it's
got different sections. So it starts with gratitude. And then the
opposite of gratitude is the stuff that you've just putting off, the stuff that you
wake up worrying about but haven't done yet. And so there's a little place to
just write that down because I've found that there is actually power in
writing down and committing that. Okay. This week I'm just going to do that
thing and get it done from there. We put a
couple questions that we customize on the planner each week that go
along with business lesson that we share. And then the bottom
half is a little more practical. It's like, what are the four things that I'm
going to focus on this week? The four most important things. And then who are
just the other 20 people I need to call or 10 tasks that I need
to do that just. Yeah, I know I need to record them somewhere. Let's write
them down, keep track of it. And then you have this one piece of paper
that, like, this is your plan for the week. And I just carry that with
me from meeting to meeting and pull it out when I like. What in the
heck do I even have to do next? Super helpful. Just getting it on,
getting it out there. Because I love the brain dump aspect to it. Yeah. And
I do love a worksheet. I love a worksheet, man. I have got to.
Okay, dude. Yeah, for sure. I have
love with that stuff. So in review, the three things you want
to do to decide we got number one is to schedule it. Yep.
Yep. So schedule your gratitude. Put it on your calendar.
Make a commitment for a time to actually be grateful. So schedule
it. Schedule it, man. Number two is keep it in focus.
Yep. Find a way to put it in front of you so that it
doesn't have to be in your memory. Only there's something
that reminds you to be grateful very big. And so number three
is to protect it, to fight for it. Right? Yep. So whether
that's playlist or music or
avoiding a certain person that Puts you in a negative mindset like
protect that because it's easily damaged. Big, big
deal. And so, and I would encourage you, I just, I hit a link in
the podcast to this article that I wrote many years ago. It's 25
gratitude questions. Basically, you know, do something like that and
you can get yourself out of it. Have, have a practice of all kinds of
people, have different practices. Ben's with purpose worksheet is,
is excellent, and you can check out and explore those
things there. So I want to just close with one little story to wrap this
up for me. I didn't share this, but one of the most difficult times in
my life was when I didn't sleep for four days in a grieving. I was
dealing with loss of a marriage. It was very difficult time. I mean,
it's probably the most difficult time. But what I did realize through that is I
have real friends that I can trust because in a lot of ways I felt
like I had deal friends and not real friends. But I actually realized because it
was two people that brought me to the hospital that are good friends, Brent
and Dave. You know who you are. So gratitude will make you courage. You know,
you have those people there, and that's a big, big deal in my life. So
I want to challenge you guys. What insight did you gain from this podcast today?
What one insight. Don't overwhelm yourself, but think about that
insight. You know, you, you change 80% of change
or we think of change, you know, 20% of making a big change in your
life is gaining insight. 80% is action. So you have to take an action.
You have to go to the podcast. You have to download the worksheet. You have
to do something. So what did Ben share today that you want to apply? Write
it down, teach it to somebody else, talk about it, but commit. By the end
of the day, you're going to take some kind of an action. To decide means
that you're eliminating other options. Your legacy is the impact your life has on others.
There's no positive change until you decide to change. Decide
today your legacy depends on it. So I'm going to close the way I always
do. Make it your mission to live the life today that you want to be
remembered for 10 years after you're gone. You decide your legacy,
nobody else. I appreciate you greatly, and I'll see you next time.
Sam.