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Welcome to Leading With Force — a podcast where seasoned entrepreneur Brian Force shares the invaluable lessons he's learned on his journey through this crazy, wonderful life. Having built several multimillion-dollar companies, Brian dives into the nuts and bolts of building successful teams, scaling businesses, and leading with passion and purpose.
Each episode offers practical tools to effectively cast your vision, build your team, boost productivity, and become the leader you were meant to be. Brian's mission is to inspire you to unlock the incredible power within yourself, achieve your goals, and make a meaningful impact on the world. Join us as we explore how to find your inner leader, empower others, and embrace your journey.
I want to talk about something today that is probably near and dear to every single one of our hearts. If you've ever listened to this show before connected with anybody from this community, I think this is probably a core value of ours.
And that's the idea of giving. I want to talk about how we give today or sometimes how we don't, [00:01:00] how we aspire to give. But it's never quite the right time, or we don't know how to give in the right way, or we had this idea that in the future, things will be different and then we'll start giving then think the reality is that every human being has the desire and need to give. It's one of the six basic human needs to be able to contribute. We find value in our ability to give. We find value in our ability to contribute, but we as a society have distilled the idea of giving down to such a narrow purview .
That for the most part when we think about giving the only thing that we think about is financial giving and that could be Incredibly complicated it can be difficult in certain times depending on our situation And it's not necessarily the most effective way to give in a way that helps us create the outcomes that we'd like To see a better world or to create a meaningful impact so I want to dive a little deeper on the idea of [00:02:00] giving. Define what it means to give regularly. Talk about how we create avoidance at times around giving. What holds us back from giving regularly?
And then talk about some tools that will help us gain perspective on our ability to give meaningfully right now without any other changes being made in our life.
I think it's really relevant to discuss what holds us back from giving as often as we'd like, or as often as would be in alignment with our core values. Usually we don't give as often as we'd like because we associate in our society giving simply with financial giving. All right. We do this in certain spiritual aspects.
We do this with holidays. We do this with charities. normally in modern society, especially in America. Our idea of giving is financial charitable contributions, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. wrong with that I hope you have a favorite charity and I hope you give to it regularly.
I hope that their mission is something that speaks to you and truly makes a [00:03:00] meaningful impact in this world.
That's not the only way that we can give. We've just created this association between giving and finance really out of convenience. We live in a very fast paced, cosmopolitan society, and the way that we feel best about giving is just simply to write a check or to put money in a certain jar or whatever it is.
We. Really try to automate our giving as much as possible. This is what society tells us to do. If we're a good person and we want to give, we just give money to a certain cause and they'll take care of it. They will do the good work for us so that we don't have to give anything else. If we just work hard and make enough money, give it to another group of people.
They'll go make the meaningful impact on our behalf. And then we're off the hook. We've done something great. We've given, we can feel good about that. But we don't have to take any more time out of our day, and there's nothing wrong with that. There are so many great, impactful, wonderful, meaningful groups out there doing [00:04:00] great work, and our society wouldn't be as amazing without them.
But that is the general association that we make, and it's not the only way that we can give. What that tends to cause is a scenario in which we don't feel comfortable giving until we feel like our financial situation is such that we have that money to spare.
And what's truly remarkable is this phenomenon where as our financial situation does improve, our spending somehow increases, our lifestyle starts to expand a little bit.
And sometimes we maintain that same mindset that right now is not really the time to give, because now my bills are a little higher, even though I'm doing better financially. And I told myself I was going to give more when things got better. And now things are a little bit more expensive. And so if I don't actually have really great financial habits, I may never feel like it's the right time to give.
There are a lot of people out there that giving is one of their stated core values and they're doing objectively well financially, [00:05:00] but they still haven't found the time or the energy or the money to be able to give. And we've distilled down this idea of giving solely to finance. But that's always a moving target for us, the idea of the right time for us to make the right amount of money for us to be able to give in a meaningful way, that can be a slippery slope because we tend to spend more as we make more.
And so isolating this idea of giving solely to financial contribution really robs us of all the other ways that we can make a meaningful impact that we can give, which is something I know we all want to do.
And so that's why it's so important to expand your purview of what giving really means and live by a core principle that you're going to give regardless of means, because means usually means just financial means and we want to be able to give regardless of financial means. But that starts with you living by a foundational principle and making a [00:06:00] commitment that you're going to be giving no matter what.
That you're going to be giving regardless of how much money you're making that month, how much debt you're in, what your world looks like from a financial perspective. You're going to be a person who gives,
and when you start to live by that commitment, you realize that there are so many ways to give that have true impact that don't involve finance at all. And what you'll also start to realize is the more you give. The more you see yourself receive The more that you contribute the more that you're awarded What you'll see is that the more you come from a place of contribution, the more you receive in turn in the form of lessons, in the form of relationships, in the form of True joy and fulfillment, which creates the energy in your body to go take meaningful action in your world.
There are very few times where you're as motivated to go take massive action towards your goals as when you're coming off a high of true contribution in service of others. The more you give, the more [00:07:00] you serve others, the more I guarantee you, you will be inspired to go serve your own purpose and to go serve your own goals. .
And so the first thing that we need to do is rid ourselves of the idea that all giving need be financial. It does not.
Sure. When you have the ability, it will be great to contribute to a cause that you truly think makes a positive impact.
But what's more important is making a commitment that you're going to be giving and then find a way, no matter what, every single one of us possesses a set of skills and abilities that we can use to contribute to others that they would be grateful for, and that will provide real value to them.
And what you realize when you commit to giving using the abilities and the resources that you have is that you'll unlock this whole other area of the human experience that you weren't realizing before because you didn't have the time or because you were too busy doing this and your priorities were all off and you couldn't make it work.
Let's consider the average person who wants to give, but doesn't feel like they can make a big [00:08:00] enough financial contribution to really have a meaningful impact. And so they're just waiting for some future date. They're waiting for some future for things to be better financially for them to start to contribute.
But really they're an amazing guitar player. They don't get to play guitar very much anymore because they're busy with life and with work and with kids and with spouses and with all the things that bring all that stress into our world and that we're just trying to get through the day. And at some point in the future, they're going to start to give at some point in the future, they're going to get that promotion.
They're going to get more money. And this time, instead of getting a new car or remodeling their kitchen, they're going to start to contribute to causes that they know have a positive impact.
Well, the reality is that day may or may not ever come, but this person has an ability that they can use to contribute right now. What would stop that person from offering something like free guitar lessons to kids who couldn't afford them?
From creating a tiny little free workshop that can advertise literally on the internet, post it up everywhere, [00:09:00] create a meetup group, and he would teach guitar lessons to anybody and everybody who wanted to come learn. What would that person get out of this experience? Well, here's what they would get. They would get challenged by this opportunity to go and find the time to make this happen.
They would be challenged to prioritize better, to stop making excuses around how busy they are, how they can't do X, Y, and Z, and they would have to go out and just find a way to make this happen. They'd be challenged to find a way to give meaningfully rather than just contribute financially. They would use that challenge to create an opportunity to not only serve others, but in turn, when was the last time they really sat down and played guitar?
Something that they're truly passionate about, something that they find real joy in. And when you can align what you find joy in to service to others and giving, now you've created real magic. Now you've created the type of energy force [00:10:00] inside you. That will inspire you to action in all other areas of your life.
When you realize that not only are you coming from a joyful place because you're giving in a way that's fun for you, you're giving in a way that you know is unique to your abilities and you're having a positive impact on others, you realize that you've unlocked one of your superpowers. and your reticular activators are going to go up, your nervous system is going to start to be wired to start to see those solutions in other areas of your life.
You're going to carry that energy over into your work, into your relationships, all of those things you've just found a way to satisfy some of your human needs, your need to contribute your need to feel significant and your need to find joy, your need to enjoy your life.
You've met some of your basic human needs and that experience, and it didn't cost you anything. And that's an example of how giving can reward us as well. Nobody's paying for these guitar lessons. I'm [00:11:00] not getting any financial gain. The reward I'm getting is unlocking my superpower.
The gain that I'm getting is finding joy in my human experience.
And so to be able to give in this way, we have to overcome our scarcity mindset that tells us a couple of things that tells us that meaningful giving is only financial because that's entirely untrue. And we're also going to have to get over the scarcity mindset that tells us that we're not ready, that we don't have anything to contribute, that we don't have the time, that our priorities are X, Y, and Z, and that at some point in the future, things will be better and we will be in a situation to give.
We have to make a commitment to finding a way to give realizing that we're also receiving in turn And when you start to rewire your brain this way, when you start to wire your brain to see how you can contribute to others before you can take care of yourself, you would be amazed at how this bleeds over into every other aspect of your life.
Imagine being a spouse who's looking to [00:12:00] contribute before they receive. Imagine being an employee, a colleague, a partner who's looking to contribute more than they receive or before they receive. You realize that this mindset of giving, it's not just about charity. It's not just about helping underprivileged people.
It's a mindset that will help you create the version of the human experience that you're looking for. All good things start with our contributions, our inputs into our world. And this is a thought exercise that invites you to explore how the mindset of giving.
Can create a more positive experience in every aspect of your life.
When you start to realize that giving in your most meaningful way has no downside, then you'll start to look for more and more opportunities to give, realizing that every time you come from a place of contribution, you're taking one small step forward towards that version of yourself that you'd like to become. The reality is no one ever [00:13:00] got to the end of their life and the people around them accuse them of contributing too much.
But there are a whole lot of people out there that eventually got the things that they wanted because they helped others get the things that they want. By coming from a place of real contribution and a mindset of giving.
So here are a couple of things to think about when you're considering how you can give more effectively.
Small habits yield massive results over time. So I don't want you to get in the mindset of what is the most insane, massive thing that I can do right now. I'm going to go start a foundation. We're going to save a hundred thousand lives this year.
That would be incredible. And I hope that you do, and I want you to build towards that. If you don't have a mindset or a regular habit of finding a way to give right now, just do something, find your unique ability and a way to use it in service to others, no matter how small and then repeat it, make it a regular occurrence.
Just get it down, take regular action and really start to ingrain this habit in your nervous system. [00:14:00] Because the reality is this, our future version is just an intensified version of the habits that we're building right now. So if we never get in the habit of giving, then our future version is just going to be an intensified version of a person who doesn't give. They might be better off financially.
They may have accomplished a lot of great things personally. But if they don't have a habit of giving now, they won't have a habit of giving in the future. But if you get in the habit of giving now, as you prosper and grow in every other area of your life, your ability to give will increase as well, and you will start to see more opportunities to give that you otherwise wouldn't have seen.
You'll start to realize you have more resources to give than you really realized you had before. You have to train your brain with small habits. So the intensified version of you really has those habits deeply ingrained. So start now, make a commitment.
And one of the best ways to start now is to reverse engineer it, do a deep dive and a little bit of thought work on what that [00:15:00] future version of you looks like. How do they give? What is the most meaningful way they can have a positive impact in their world?
And then what steps do you need to take from here to get to there? You're gonna need to ingrain small habits over time But if you have a particular outcome a way you'd like to give in the future You can make sure that those habits align with those strategies later on. And so you can do some deep diving and really think about and work backwards from where you want to be to where you are right now and make sure that you're on the right path.
Giving is not something that just happens whenever the time is right. Giving as a principle to live by, no matter what your financial means are, no matter what your situation is, no matter what else is going on in your life, because I promise you the more that you give, not only the more will you receive, the more you will evolve.
The more you will become a passionate, well rounded, empathetic, purposeful human being that finds true joy and fulfillment in their life [00:16:00] experience, and I guarantee you, you will have a stronger influence on your own outcomes as well. Think about how you can start giving today. I truly appreciate you watching this episode and I look forward to talking soon.