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And we're all out of popcorn.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:01.147)
Hello and welcome to popcorn and plot. Hello and welcome to plot holes.
Luciano (00:06.903)
Barry in the lead.
Chris (00:07.002)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it
Matt (00:10.993)
Who knows if you like this movie or not? You'll find out by listening. We watched.
Matthew Ward (00:11.082)
Right? Why fight it?
Chris (00:12.071)
Burn it. Do it.
Luciano (00:14.113)
Thank you. I mean, I used popcorn in this movie. I just threw it at the screen.
Matt (00:18.695)
Great, fair enough. We watched the 2024, fuck me, like Marky Mark, Mike Halter, I guess, the Mike Halter vehicle. The Union, Netflix's answer to, what was that one we watched with The Rock and, yeah. He was, yeah.
Luciano (00:26.591)
Mike Coulter, Mike Coulter.
Chris (00:28.847)
Yeah. Villainy.
Matthew Ward (00:29.647)
My Coulter vehicle.
Chris (00:40.815)
Red notice. was re - Yeah, Netflix's answer to itself.
Matthew Ward (00:41.62)
Red.
Luciano (00:41.833)
Yeah, it was also Netflix. That actually that that tracks.
Matt (00:49.029)
Yeah. Hey, we watched the NuGun. Let's just get into it, right? no, I have to introduce everybody. The formalities must be observed. With us as always, Chris.
Luciano (01:00.075)
Yes.
Chris (01:03.015)
Sup y 'all, we gonna get into this, promise.
Matt (01:06.425)
Luciano?
Luciano (01:08.257)
Yeah, hello. I'm still picking popcorn from my desk.
Chris (01:12.248)
Eh.
Matt (01:13.259)
And special guest star for the month of August and maybe a bit of September, other Matt or, I don't know, we had a name for you. I forgot it. Other Chris. Yeah, we're not, he's not Italian Batman. Let's be positive. That's what we do here. We start positive. Luciano, what did you like about the union?
Chris (01:19.089)
boost.
Chris (01:23.232)
One more pipistrello.
Luciano (01:24.597)
It was other Chris a long time ago for reasons.
Matthew Ward (01:25.547)
It's unnecessary.
Matthew Ward (01:30.922)
Mm
Chris (01:34.663)
Hmm
Luciano (01:43.139)
no, no, no, no, I, I, have it. No, it's, it's that the, the fighting when, when Mike finally gets the device and he's running away from the Russians, I guess. And he gets the living shit out of him kicked by that, that, agent, the female agent and Halle Berry comes in and fights her fucking suplexes her like a boss. And they show, they show her like the way that she
Matt (01:43.953)
Do you want me to come back to you or?
Chris (01:46.234)
Yeah
Chris (02:09.201)
Yeah.
Luciano (02:13.269)
like pile drives the woman into the ground was very satisfying area. I really enjoyed that. Yeah.
Chris (02:15.035)
Yeah. Suplex. Straight out of the WWF.
Luciano (02:21.461)
Yeah, that was that was my favorite thing in this movie and that's deep very deep but you know, we'll leave it for later
Matt (02:29.157)
We're just asking about fun things you like. You don't have to, yeah, keep positive. Other Matt, what did you like?
Luciano (02:31.081)
Yeah, yeah, no, keep being positive, keep being light. Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (02:42.078)
I liked the party scene when Mike calls his friends and the one guy is just moaning everybody and they're just having a great time. I liked that. And incidentally, incidentally, the answer to the question that this movie posed is how many fingers right now, it's how many fingers can you fit in your asshole? I'm up to eight, as we're speaking.
Chris (02:51.925)
Is your pants off?
Chris (03:11.313)
Mmm. Mmm.
Matthew Ward (03:12.361)
So, you know, working towards 10, but I have eight. No, no, no. I have to have one. Gotta have a hand on the wheel.
Luciano (03:12.605)
Eight. Eight from one hand.
Matt (03:16.935)
Are they all your fingers? Great. No further questions. No, thank you. Yeah. Chris, fun? Yes?
Luciano (03:23.197)
No further questions, Your Honor.
Chris (03:27.204)
The defense, the prosecution, the prosecution rests.
Chris (03:33.979)
Fun fun Mike Colter to be honest. It was fun seeing him I miss him as Luke Cage to be honest, but it was great to see him doing his thing and You know, I was rooting for him a little bit like even in like was it area area towards the end Itria or something not it's not a retreat but yeah, like
Luciano (03:54.537)
Eat three hours, something like that? Yeah.
Chris (04:00.487)
He get he the foot chase begins and then rock rock stands trying to chase him down They're on what looks like a dock but then the scene kind of changed and then he like managed to get away from her on foot and then he's just like Waving bye. Bye. I was like good, dude Go on and get out go go on and try again. Go on and try it again See what you can do next time But then he like went back for the for the suitcase and that was okay, too and like car chase scene Okay, so alright and that BMW wouldn't fucking quit
Matthew Ward (04:17.191)
Then you like.
Chris (04:29.817)
It wouldn't quit. Anyways, that's my case.
Matt (04:35.121)
Great, those are all things you could have enjoyed, you're correct. For me, I really enjoyed how they cast so many actors who just played themselves, regardless of what was happening in movie. J .K. Simmons, just being J .K. Simmons, you know, maybe little John Jonah Jameson, maybe, I don't know, Marky Mark, famously just plays himself.
Chris (04:46.161)
Yes.
Luciano (04:49.003)
Hahaha!
Chris (05:02.266)
EW!
Chris (05:07.249)
Halle Berry.
Matt (05:07.753)
I gotta say Jackie O 'Reilly kind of just, you know, mailed it in, but they all had a good time being themselves. Yeah, they played, they did a great job playing themselves. And I really appreciated that they, took that angle to this movie. So it's fun to see them just be themselves. They almost had chemistry for a little bit, which was surprising. And then the rest of the movie happened. Listen, it's a rare.
Chris (05:13.381)
Yeah. Played. he played. They played themselves. All right. They played themselves. They played.
Matthew Ward (05:13.559)
Thank
Chris (05:27.451)
Yeah.
Matt (05:37.113)
treat when we change the format of our show. Sometimes a movie is so good that we can't find plot holes. And sometimes a movie has six plot holes we have to talk about. And so
Luciano (05:38.073)
You
Chris (05:44.277)
Mmm.
Mmm.
Luciano (05:49.388)
Sometimes the plot holes are so bad we can't find the movie.
Chris (05:49.838)
Mwah!
Matthew Ward (05:52.72)
You
Matt (05:52.837)
Well, yes, and so in order to do our job properly, we're going to cover the plot holes as is in the title. We need to leave more space for the plot holes. So this is my quick way of saying that's the end of movie talk and we're to talk to the plot holes.
Chris (05:52.91)
MWAH!
Luciano (06:07.767)
That sounds about right.
Chris (06:07.877)
Yep. Yep.
Matthew Ward (06:08.943)
So strap in and strap on.
Matt (06:10.334)
Buckle up. Yeah. Either or both. So let's start. I don't know. Let's start with the union, the company, the union, the intelligence agency, the union.
Luciano (06:12.246)
Yeah.
Chris (06:12.443)
Get him. Let's get him.
Luciano (06:24.459)
The one that names the movie? Right.
Matt (06:26.043)
The one that names the movie.
We're not going to talk about, we can talk about it. We're not going to talk about how annoying it is to find out that the union is actually just a union. That's not here. That's just, maybe that's the second plot hole. The first plot hole is really the union as an intelligence agency really doesn't seem to understand how to operate as an intelligence agency or what intelligence agencies do for the most part.
Chris (06:39.727)
Hmmmm
Luciano (06:53.964)
Right.
Matthew Ward (06:54.02)
They're low on the intelligence in this one.
Luciano (06:56.916)
Yeah.
Matt (06:58.765)
Yeah, because like, I mean, right at beginning of the movie, right, the opening scene, they are retrieving a rogue CIA agent and this list of all the agents in the entire world that the CIA has compiled.
Luciano (07:11.357)
in all of every man and woman who has ever served the Western Allied country somehow. Yeah.
Matt (07:16.549)
Right. Somehow. They've created this list for reasons. And they go into this hotel and extract him. And at no point is there any sneaking, hiding. They just run through lobbies with guns, shooting at people. Lights on, faces wide open.
Chris (07:36.88)
Lights on.
Luciano (07:37.047)
They walk the guy out... Like, out of the front door of the fucking hotel.
Matthew Ward (07:39.711)
In fairness, in fairness, they started in costume and then stripped naked in the elevator because they were like, what the fuck are we doing? Why are we why are we not being ourselves? Then they just decided to just ditch all pretense. Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (07:51.738)
yeah, yeah
Matt (07:54.343)
Yeah.
Luciano (07:55.849)
I forgot about that scene.
Chris (07:58.075)
They were living their truth.
Matt (08:01.093)
So, I mean, that's the start of it, right? They don't know. I mean, what other, what other things did you guys see where they just forgot intelligence?
Luciano (08:04.554)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:10.615)
shall we go in chronological order? How they clearly get ambushed, right? And then they just run around getting shot and not doing a single goddamn thing about it.
Matt (08:13.99)
Why not?
Chris (08:14.96)
Let's.
Chris (08:18.981)
Yep. Yep. they have no... Yeah, go on.
Matthew Ward (08:24.802)
In fairness though, that was the team lead telling them that she didn't want to leave them out in the open and that they should stay out out in the open. Which was kind of where they were. yeah, that's yeah.
Chris (08:31.697)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (08:34.805)
Yeah, don't stay out in the open. Just walk, walk through the streets without taking cover and stop at a bridge. That's
Chris (08:35.131)
Mmm. Mmm.
Chris (08:41.925)
Yes, yes and she did, Roxanne was like, don't move, I can get you ground support in five minutes and Tfuearday was like, no, we can get to the bridge in three. So we can die faster than you can help us.
Luciano (08:52.467)
In three, yeah.
Matthew Ward (08:53.589)
Yeah, but.
Luciano (08:56.701)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (08:56.839)
I'm sorry.
Matthew Ward (08:56.898)
But at the same time, there was already a sniper that had already killed someone. So you know the sniper has you in their scene, in their sights. So we're gonna just stand in the center and wait for people? That seems bad.
Chris (09:00.327)
Thank you, Right.
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (09:07.723)
What we're just going to walk. We're going to continue our route, our extraction route, regardless of being exactly, exactly. Regardless of being in a kill box. Listen, we have a plan. It's a shitty plan, but we're going to follow it.
Chris (09:12.487)
in the kill box.
Matt (09:22.181)
the plan is excellent. They had a backup extraction spot. just because the backup extraction spot was wide open on a bridge with like and the thing about this is like the premise is bad, but like what was the backup extraction plan? There was no boat, no car.
Chris (09:22.396)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (09:29.089)
You
Chris (09:31.579)
Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (09:41.258)
Yeah.
Luciano (09:42.239)
Yeah, they were waiting for the boat.
Chris (09:43.815)
Was there a boat?
Matt (09:44.935)
But like, okay, but like if he got there in three minutes, when was the boat arriving? Like five minutes?
Luciano (09:49.109)
Right. In five. Yeah. It was, it felt like it was funny because in hindsight, you know, Roxanne says, I can get your ground support in five minutes. And, and Mike says, I can get to the bridge in three. It almost feels like I can get you alive out of there in five minutes. he goes, challenge accepted. I shall die in three. And like, of course it was all set up and all that, but like it doesn't.
Chris (10:10.69)
Yeah.
Luciano (10:18.867)
Only Mike was in on it, or sorry, only Faraday was in on it, right? And so like, why did the other people just follow like, to me, the first what the fuck moment was, why are they still running in a straight line? Nobody stopped, like the important thing, and this is something we see in a lot of intelligence agencies, spy movies, right? The asset is what's important. The agents are glad to give their lives to complete the mission.
Chris (10:22.319)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luciano (10:48.405)
But like, don't just lay down your lives just because, you know, you end up being, we are the blue collar. This is the movie saying blue collar people are expendable. They just die for no reason. Right? It's like, nobody's like, okay, they're shooting at us. They clearly know what we're doing. Let's take an alternate route and me and let's, let's stay back and try to find out. No, nobody does any of it. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (11:03.849)
Ahem.
Chris (11:07.729)
Correct.
Chris (11:11.217)
They didn't stay put, they didn't go inside, they didn't go underground. They just remained on the Killbox road.
Matthew Ward (11:16.05)
Listen, listen, listen, Luke Cage doesn't need cover. Okay, Luke Cage can just do whatever he needs to do, you know?
Luciano (11:19.894)
Yeah.
Chris (11:22.472)
He didn't. Luke Cage is a triple agent in this story. Because he was bulletproof. Always forward. Always forward.
Matthew Ward (11:27.205)
And if Luke Cage says you walk a straight line, you do it. That's all I can say.
Luciano (11:28.043)
Hahaha!
Matt (11:33.029)
Actually, you bring up a good point, Matt. That does explain how he survived being shot. He's Luke Cage. No, that won't kill Luke Cage. So, okay, that's a very good point. Let's jump forward into the movie bit further to talk a little bit more about their lack of intelligence.
Luciano (11:37.579)
Survived. shot's not gonna kill the blue cage. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (11:38.363)
Yeah, he's Luke Cage, exactly.
Chris (11:46.737)
bit.
Chris (11:53.851)
Lack. Lackin'.
Matt (11:54.984)
Where should we go from there? Could we talk?
Luciano (11:57.141)
Well, the recruitment of Mike as a whole, right? Just the whole, the idea of recruiting Mike, the way that it came about and, how they did it. Like, I imagine the conversation with Brennan because we see Roxanne roll up to the bar, right. And say, this is the guy. And she says, yeah, he's never let me down since and blah, blah. But like, imagine the conversation, imagine the conversation. She's like, fuck. They have this list with every.
Matthew Ward (11:57.991)
Talk about the recruitment.
Chris (11:58.791)
Jersey? Mike?
Matt (12:00.795)
Sorry, was that?
Matthew Ward (12:03.804)
Yeah.
Matt (12:03.886)
Right, yeah.
Matthew Ward (12:20.838)
since he let me down.
Luciano (12:27.479)
Possible agent we can have how the fuck are we going to retrieve this and rectangle's don't worry I have an ex boyfriend that I haven't seen in 20 years works construction From high school. Yeah
Chris (12:32.464)
My ex -boyfriend.
Matt (12:37.201)
from high school. You know people can be trusted when you knew them in high school. They're the same.
Chris (12:37.574)
Mmm.
Luciano (12:41.525)
Yeah, and you knew him in high school. He has stayed in the same city that we lived our entire lives. He works construction. He is our guide. And Brennan goes, yeah, okay, that makes sense.
Chris (12:42.023)
25 years ago.
Matthew Ward (12:42.503)
yeah.
Matt (12:53.211)
He's the guy we're gonna take to London and we're gonna let him drive a car even though he's confused by the very nature of being in London.
Luciano (12:55.743)
Yeah, we're gonna kidnap him.
Matthew Ward (13:01.146)
Yeah.
Luciano (13:01.173)
Yeah, we're going to create a false pretence to meet him. And then I'm going to kidnap him. He's going to wake up in a country that he's never, he never left the tri -state area. We're going to bring him to another country. We're going to introduce him to a bunch of secret agents, tell him of a secret agency that nobody knew existed. And then we're going to say, Hey, now that you know all of this about us, do you want to maybe do a job for us?
Chris (13:01.393)
Yes.
Chris (13:07.195)
Yes. I'm going to manipulate him. Yes.
Yes.
Chris (13:15.143)
Correct.
Chris (13:20.527)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (13:30.392)
And the worst part to me is like, it's just a one time job, man. You can go back to your life after you know all of her secrets. Like, what?
Matt (13:39.633)
Hey man, we haven't gotten to Mike's applaud hole yet. That's really it.
Luciano (13:42.989)
no, I'm not even talking about Mike, I'm talking about them.
Matthew Ward (13:43.342)
Listen, how beautiful, how much better would this movie have been, really, if she showed up and he just looked like everybody does when they come out of high school at work construction. Just bald spot, giant gut, just pretzels in his underpants, just a general mess. She just walks in and he's like, is that the guy? And she's like, yeah, that's the guy. And then.
Matt (13:46.097)
Well, that's
Chris (13:58.075)
Mm -hmm
Chris (14:02.815)
Mm -hmm. Roxanne!
Luciano (14:07.284)
Yeah.
Luciano (14:10.967)
Ha
Chris (14:11.018)
that's him, all right. That's him.
Matthew Ward (14:11.992)
The rest of the montage is just him losing weight with Ozempic. I think that would have been perfect. You know what mean? Plus you had a built -in sponsor, so you could have gotten some more FX money.
Chris (14:16.433)
Sure, okay.
Matt (14:17.989)
more realistic.
Chris (14:19.879)
He could have won a, you know.
Chris (14:24.697)
like your strike team in Trieste, would have been able to actually been shot and like use proper squibs as opposed to the sound of a gun and then they fall like it's a grade seven play anyways.
Luciano (14:27.799)
Trieste, Trieste, yeah.
Matthew Ward (14:29.625)
Yeah.
Luciano (14:38.191)
there is that too. Like they're just falling down like, like soccer, soccer players when someone gets near them.
Chris (14:43.292)
no, I'm dead. Yeah.
Matt (14:46.533)
I don't want to go too far down this hole, that's just editing. Like the editor of sound is just like, what if we had the sound go off and we just let them hang out for way longer than they should before they dropped? That'd be funny, right?
Chris (14:51.213)
Mm
Chris (14:57.935)
It's an ongoing theme, because even when they tried to steal the second auction smartphone from the Russian MTV Cribs house, poor Athena...
Matt (15:09.435)
Yeah.
Luciano (15:11.639)
That is 100 % an MTV Cribs house.
Chris (15:14.983)
Poor Athena gets an off -screen death.
Luciano (15:19.255)
so unfair.
Matthew Ward (15:19.948)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (15:22.767)
And like, I thought she was rendered unconscious when they went back in and then her friend was like, I'm right here, your buddy's here. And she looked unconscious for a moment, but then then Foreman had to tell us she's dead. And I'm like, really? I don't see any blood, any blood Foreman. Ass.
Luciano (15:30.112)
Yeah.
Matt (15:37.607)
Well, yeah, all great points. If we stick to the idea that they don't know how intelligence works, in the scenario, all the struct, right? Because they go into the not North Korean, Russians cribs, and they are able to obtain a phone, arguably much easier than they did by actually getting Mike Tappos as a billionaire and handing over $5 million.
Luciano (15:45.3)
in all of this tracks.
Chris (15:52.162)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Luciano (15:52.449)
You
Matthew Ward (15:52.683)
Yeah.
Luciano (15:59.446)
Yeah.
Matt (16:06.395)
and no questions asked. everything. It's not important. What is important is as we continue down the intelligence road on this, now we are going to select RF. Now we get to the spot where they are going to track the location of the auctioneer using the phone.
Matthew Ward (16:09.271)
What was in that sink? That looked like soiled water.
Chris (16:17.432)
It is.
Chris (16:22.0)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (16:23.509)
The lack thereof.
Chris (16:33.403)
you
Luciano (16:35.391)
Right. Right.
Matt (16:35.439)
when the auction is live.
Chris (16:37.703)
Mm
Matt (16:38.823)
to then have them on a bike drive to where the auctioneer is currently situated.
Luciano (16:44.982)
Right.
Chris (16:45.105)
Yeah.
Luciano (16:47.317)
having no idea whether they can actually get to the auctioneer on time because they didn't know where they would be.
Matt (16:51.569)
Sure. Yeah.
Chris (16:54.073)
exactly.
Matt (16:54.683)
Right. No plan there. And they're constantly under the boot heel or being harassed by the CIA. They're going to be shut down by the CIA if they don't get this back. Yeah. The honkies, thank you for the honkies from the CIA. And so their plan, their master plan to save their company from failing is two people get on one motorbike.
Luciano (16:57.185)
Yeah.
Chris (17:06.794)
yeah.
May I support you, the honkeys from the CIA?
Luciano (17:13.172)
it
Luciano (17:24.555)
Yes. Not a grid search. Not no. Yeah.
Chris (17:25.126)
Mmm.
Matt (17:26.117)
And they just, nothing. Not multiple people on bikes, and so you can have them stationed out so you can get there in time.
Chris (17:27.889)
Correct.
Luciano (17:34.069)
I'll tell you why though, because they're blue collar workers, they can only afford one bike.
Chris (17:34.427)
Nah.
Chris (17:39.591)
The Union is the bootstrapped black ops of...
Luciano (17:44.853)
Yeah. Yeah. They're the ones who came up with picking yourself up with your bootstraps.
Matt (17:51.363)
Is it because the union pays equal wages to everybody and by paying those equal wages they have no money left over for all the supply stuff?
Luciano (17:57.237)
Hahahaha!
Matthew Ward (17:57.461)
That's exactly it. Those union fees are killer, man. You just...
Chris (17:57.797)
Hmm
You're too woke, that's too woke. That's too woke, sir. Why are you being so woke,
Matt (18:05.233)
But what if you were to pay them a living wage, but then their union fees brought that money back in to buy the toys?
Chris (18:11.921)
Hmm
Luciano (18:12.161)
Well, mean, we can't even... Maybe they just like to pretend that they have more money. That's why they had like the luxury car that they give Mike to drive. And that's why they had like the one... That bike wasn't even the Union's. That bike was just Roxanne's she bought with her own money.
Matt (18:28.999)
Right. But there was like, this is the other thing, like there are 50 different employees you see, if not more, mechanics and blah, blah, blah.
Chris (18:30.823)
Shit.
Luciano (18:37.367)
you
Chris (18:40.775)
Yep. The robot, the robot from Iron Man 1, what was his name? Jimmy?
Luciano (18:41.931)
bakers and and valets and
Matt (18:45.827)
Yeah. And they have one, by my count, one field agent.
Luciano (18:54.133)
Yeah, all the other ones died in Trieste. They all died in Trieste, that's why. They had six and they all died.
Matthew Ward (18:54.28)
Yeah.
Matt (18:56.839)
Two, two field agents because
Matthew Ward (19:00.625)
Yeah, yeah, was their whole agency right there.
Matt (19:01.197)
that's maybe that's fair. Okay. You're right. That's fair. That was our agency gone. Yeah.
Chris (19:01.248)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (19:06.083)
Is it possible? Is it also possible that this entire, like, that Faraday was actually trying to fundraise for the union? Like, they were so ass out for money. Okay. I know, but still, like, look at the evidence we brought together. Anyways, go on.
Luciano (19:15.891)
No, no, because we're going to talk about this later, but no, it's not. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (19:19.672)
Yeah, we'll get to him. He was pretty clear on it. So, and then so, you know, I'm not going to ding them for the idea that they got their headquarters exploited because it was an inside job. Who could have, that's fine. That's the one time it maybe makes some sense. But everything else after that where like, they get, like, I don't know if it's the CIA's fault. Maybe we'll have to talk about it there.
Like, they're just all taken out of the game, right? The entire union is taken out except for Rox.
Luciano (19:50.657)
Well, yeah, because they get like framed and then taken out. Yeah.
Chris (19:55.505)
And Brendan.
Matt (19:57.285)
Yeah, yeah. So Rox and Mike are the only two left. And so that's it. That's the agency we're done with the union, right? At that point.
Luciano (20:00.64)
Right.
because they have plot armor.
Chris (20:05.456)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (20:09.652)
Well, yeah, the union doesn't effectively doesn't exist anymore. Brennan is in some fucking black site of the CIA being interrogated. Although even that is just like sitting, hanging on the chair in the middle of a room.
Chris (20:19.057)
Poor Brendan.
Matt (20:23.889)
Hey man, we got five more plot holes. Don't worry, the CIA is one of them, we'll get there.
Luciano (20:26.327)
Hahaha!
All right. But yeah, yeah. So they have like two people on a bike to canvas the entire city of London, basically, to find this fucking auctioneer. Right. And how, like if this was all being done online, why did they think that the auctioneer was in London? It could have been anywhere in the fucking world.
Chris (20:38.853)
Mm -hmm. -hmm. No.
Matt (20:39.803)
famously small city.
Chris (20:46.46)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (20:53.698)
Correct. Shit.
Matthew Ward (20:55.173)
I mean, listen.
Luciano (20:55.863)
I actually just realized this it doesn't make any sense that they knew that the action here was in London
Matthew Ward (21:00.048)
I also find it difficult to make sense of the fact that I just watched this movie and I remember none of what you guys are bringing up right now. I didn't know there was a guy in a room. I didn't remember anyone getting tortured. I don't even know who these people's names are. I'm very confused right now.
Luciano (21:08.883)
Hahaha
Chris (21:12.081)
You
Luciano (21:16.629)
you're Spen you're Spencer. You're Spencer.
Chris (21:17.467)
You spent you've you slide slid into the Spencer slot easily. Well done. Well, well done That's method acting. That's method acting You're doing so well you're doing so well new Spencer
Matt (21:18.161)
Well, yeah.
Luciano (21:21.599)
Yeah. Let's do this properly. Did you watch this movie?
Matt (21:21.681)
Welcome back Spencer. Just try.
Matthew Ward (21:27.572)
I I thought I did. I was under the impression that I watched this movie, but apparently I didn't watch it well enough.
Matt (21:35.473)
Do me a favor, don't go into incel Spencer. Unneeded in this juncture. So, I mean, we try to clean up the plotholes as best we can.
Luciano (21:38.835)
In cell Spencer. Yeah.
Chris (21:40.709)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (21:43.402)
Yeah.
Chris (21:50.875)
You can't clean, that's unclean. We are unclean at the result of that attempt.
Luciano (21:51.329)
That's a tall order here.
Matt (21:53.905)
Chick, you know what? Like, maybe we just don't clean up these plot holes because we have five more to cover and the only way to clean these five, six plot holes up is to write a different movie.
Luciano (22:03.989)
Yeah, we can try. I would say let's try that, that like writing a similar but different movie at the end of the plot hole section. Yeah.
Chris (22:04.454)
Hmm.
Matt (22:12.569)
All right. On to plot hole number two. The union itself, the company, the organization is stupid and it doesn't make any sense. So not focusing on the lack of intelligence in the company, but the idea that they hire blue collar workers because they are the unsung heroes and they're the people that make things happen is what
Luciano (22:17.301)
Which is...
Chris (22:23.836)
Mmm
Luciano (22:26.714)
Yeah.
Chris (22:39.727)
America!
Matt (22:41.147)
JK Simmons tells us. Yeah, they're ones who get shit done. Okay, but like, the shit they get done is make my coffee and clean up the trash and...
Matthew Ward (22:41.208)
Dead shit done, as he says.
Luciano (22:55.351)
I would go a step further because they act in this movie like the other agencies are like a bunch of elitist like buffoons, jerks. He even says it, you know, he I bet you I bet this whole script started with some dumb ass writer going blue collar, not blue blood. And someone went, that is so insightful. Let's make a movie about it. Because it's not like
Matt (23:04.849)
Jerks. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (23:06.925)
Mm
Matt (23:21.818)
Yeah, cuz
Luciano (23:24.457)
if you see other movies, right? Even James Bond's movie, James Bond is arguably probably the most posh and pampered spy that we've ever seen in movies, right? Or if not the one, one of the ones. Even he poses like, like Mission Impossible, they infiltrate places as like electricians and plumbers. It's a known thing that you go in as an everyday man to blend in, but you need skills that...
Chris (23:49.499)
to blend in.
Luciano (23:54.475)
you know, encompass the whole like, great, you have the union, right? You're all blue collar workers, you're all like everyday people. Okay, now you have to infiltrate this high, like stakes gala with like billionaires. we're fucked, we can't do it.
Chris (24:06.065)
security.
Matt (24:11.26)
What are you talking about? They got six weeks of training. Normally. It was condensed to.
Matthew Ward (24:13.505)
Yeah.
Chris (24:14.119)
That was two, I thought. Was that six or two weeks?
Luciano (24:14.199)
They got six three... It's six months she says, six months training. But like, okay, so but like, if they are all of them, everyday people, who's gonna train them how to be posh morons?
Matthew Ward (24:16.107)
Thanks.
Matt (24:20.895)
my bad. Okay, that's a little better.
Chris (24:22.009)
into two. Six into two.
Matthew Ward (24:30.377)
Listen, the finishing school was off screen, like What's Your Face Is That? It was just there, we take it for granted. You know, they learned how to like drink tea. They just basically went to Bridgerton, I'm assuming.
Chris (24:36.015)
Athena
Luciano (24:42.057)
Okay. And then, and then the whole premise of the union being just, you know, everyday people goes to shit. This just becomes another agency that happens to employ a bunch of blue collar workers, which fine. But like, I agree with you, Matt, like the way you described it, like it's just the premise of it is dumb. In that it would be instantly.
Matthew Ward (24:49.664)
Listen.
Matt (25:05.465)
It falls apart instantly.
Luciano (25:08.319)
It would make no sense. Like it would be such an... And they go like, we're the ones that actually get shit done. Sure. If the thing that needs to get done is like manual labor, great. Like I'm not, and I'm not dissing on the blue color workers themselves, but like it's too niche.
Chris (25:08.971)
Sad, yeah.
Chris (25:13.668)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (25:28.126)
Listen, I am dissing blue collar workers. I am now gonna be watching that plumber when he comes to my house. I'm gonna be like, what are you putting in there? What are you doing? And then I'll remember that I'm like, you're incompetent. You'll just be shot as soon as you walk outside. It's fine. You can take it. It's good.
Matt (25:28.132)
It's
Matt (25:32.805)
Hehehehehe
Luciano (25:33.452)
Hahaha!
Luciano (25:38.421)
Is
Chris (25:43.377)
Hmm.
Luciano (25:43.415)
All you have to make sure is, if your plumber is doing shit and then suddenly you open your cookie jar and there's a gun in there, that's a sign.
Matthew Ward (25:52.082)
Listen, all I have to do is hope that if we go outside and I have to chase him because he stole something that we don't end up on a very tall beam because then I'm done. Like there's no chance. There's no chance. He's in his element.
Luciano (25:59.467)
Yeah, yeah. man, holy shit. Holy shit. The fucking, the fucking like ham fisted. he knows how to walk beams because he works close to a fuck you movie.
Chris (26:00.623)
You're done. You've then stepped, correct, you stepped into the danger zone.
Matthew Ward (26:07.049)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (26:12.936)
Yeah.
Matt (26:16.433)
Hey, don't worry, Matt, when you die, that guy's foreman's gonna be pretty pissed at him for not making you wear a safety harness. So that, he'll get us comeuppance. Don't worry. The thing I think I've noticed in this movie is that could the union be a cool idea? I don't know. they basically shoehorn the union in to be a secret agency or a spy agency. But...
Matthew Ward (26:23.492)
Right? Yeah, no. No, that's true. That's fair.
Chris (26:23.505)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (26:26.518)
Yeah.
Luciano (26:43.473)
Yeah, not not just people know about CIA FBI, but people don't know about the Union, right?
Matt (26:48.911)
Right, right. Well, everybody does, apparently.
Chris (26:52.143)
Mwahahahaha! Mm -hmm.
Matt (26:54.183)
But my point here is that they don't take the effort of tailoring the work the union does to things the union could be good at. They're just like, you're a bunch of blue collar workers. OK, go and here's $5 million. Go chase down this list of secret agents, the CIA lost. There's no other agency that can do this work.
Luciano (26:54.551)
True, no, true, you're right, yeah.
Luciano (27:02.816)
Yeah.
Chris (27:03.131)
Hmm.
Luciano (27:08.215)
Here's $5 million, yeah.
Matthew Ward (27:17.553)
Hmm.
Luciano (27:19.606)
Yeah.
Matt (27:22.939)
The CIA can't chase down their own - I don't know why the CIA isn't chasing down their own fucking list.
Luciano (27:27.244)
No, and this is like every Western allied country, right? So where is like MI6, where is like even Interpol if we're talking about like, like, no, nobody cares. It's only the American
Matt (27:30.981)
Yeah. MI6.
Matt (27:39.687)
Interfall is a private entity, so you don't want to pay them.
Luciano (27:43.733)
Well, you don't have any money even
Matthew Ward (27:45.595)
I like the idea of trying to tie their skills to how the espionage is. Like one of the high people, like the auctioneer, she goes to the bathroom and then there's Halle Berry's giving her toilet paper or something, but it's got a bug on it. So she's just basically...
Chris (27:45.774)
Mmm, see?
Matt (27:45.775)
No, we don't. As evidenced.
Matt (28:01.083)
Ha
Chris (28:02.915)
Yeah. She bug up. What's what's with this bug up your ass?
Matthew Ward (28:07.771)
Yeah, or she just...
Luciano (28:08.031)
No, no, it seems like she's like, the auctioneer is there in the rich people area. I don't know anything about that, but when she comes in here, the mint I'm gonna give her after she uses the loo is tracked. Actually, if you make that into a straight up comedy, and just do that, all of the agents are doing the most menial.
Matt (28:19.333)
Yes!
Matthew Ward (28:20.026)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the blue collar aspect of it, right?
Matt (28:23.217)
That would.
Chris (28:25.508)
That would have worked.
Matthew Ward (28:29.19)
Thank you.
Chris (28:29.35)
Yes.
Chris (28:35.183)
Yes. Dirty work. And then, and then the auctioneer would have been like flush and then she's like, I'm so sorry. And then just like induced Bigelow when the dad has to go and clean up the clog toilet, Halle Berry or whoever has to go and clean. I love Halle Berry. I don't want her to do that, but like that moment would be comedy gold.
Luciano (28:35.315)
invisible jobs and it works that would actually be funny.
Matthew Ward (28:37.764)
Yeah.
Luciano (28:49.611)
Yeah.
Matt (28:55.047)
We can get Athena Kim or Frank Preffer to do it. That's fine. They existed in part of the movie.
Matthew Ward (28:56.848)
True.
Chris (29:01.499)
Yeah. They exist. Get the format to really have it. Anyways.
Luciano (29:07.051)
Yeah.
Matt (29:07.463)
But that would make sense right? And that's the thing with the Union is like the premise is stupid because they immediately take the idea and try to make them do the same spy work that James Bond would do and it falls apart.
Luciano (29:20.779)
Yeah, I think the idea is dumb because they take it seriously. I think that's the thing. As a funny idea, it works as like a straight up, okay, this is an actual intelligence agency that does things and is funded by the government. It's ludicrous.
Matt (29:38.843)
Yeah. All right.
Luciano (29:39.993)
It's like taking Johnny English seriously almost.
Matt (29:42.471)
100%. Let's move on to plot hole number three.
Chris (29:44.785)
Yeah.
Matt (29:50.349)
Mike McKenna, Mark Wahlberg's Yeah, I mean, he's not the main character. It's him and Halle Berry. They're equal. They're equal villain.
Luciano (29:50.453)
Hey. The main character. Yes.
Chris (29:54.191)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (29:59.495)
Halleberry, yes, yeah, Roxanne.
Chris (30:00.945)
He's, what is he? He's a, he, yeah, yeah, cool.
Matt (30:05.071)
So, whoo. Mike gets pulled into this because they need someone who is not on the spy list that they've captured in order to get them in the game. This is Mike's... Yeah. Well, that's it, right? So the non -North Korean Russians, they're not on a spy list anywhere? Right?
Luciano (30:19.807)
which ends up being completely useless, you know, yeah.
Chris (30:24.591)
and unnecessary.
Luciano (30:31.601)
Well, no, they're like not Western allied, right? So that tracks. That's fine.
Chris (30:32.763)
B -B -B -B -B -B
Matt (30:36.751)
Right. Okay, so it's only Western Hawaii. Okay, fair enough. I'm not even going to go down that part. But why couldn't the CIA just bid for this?
Luciano (30:47.439)
Well, what was the point of going to the song and dance of getting some rando? Like, you used to be a football star and you can walk on high beams. You're a great agent material. Like that, that might be a good sort of like introduction to, now you're doing eight years of training and now you're an agent, but
Matthew Ward (31:03.552)
Hey, hey.
Matthew Ward (31:08.076)
That came in handy though. Let's not disrespect the high walkin'. That came in handy. Alright, he took out two guys.
Luciano (31:12.612)
Well, that's what I'm saying, this is ham -fisted as fuck, but yeah.
Chris (31:14.811)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (31:16.618)
They knew that was gonna happen. Don't disrespect JK Simmons. He knew it was gonna happen. He knows the rodeo, the blue collar rodeos.
Luciano (31:21.4)
But the worst part of this is that he goes in, he gets the device, immediately loses it. then, like you said before, Matt, they find arguably better and like more expeditious way or like effective way of getting another tracker. So what was the point of getting Mike there?
Chris (31:25.18)
Hmm.
Chris (31:43.494)
Mm
Chris (31:47.909)
Mm
Luciano (31:48.767)
And why did he stay when he had no per... he wasn't a full agent, right?
Matt (31:51.047)
That's a better question because like they only had to define the better way because their way failed and if they had to work they wouldn't have to do that. So the recruitment of Mike is questionable at best, but you are right. Like what motivation does he have to stay?
Chris (31:52.455)
True, why did he stay?
Chris (32:01.147)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Luciano (32:01.621)
Yeah.
Luciano (32:07.689)
cause he wants to complete the job. Like if this was serious, they will go, you can want whatever the fuck you want. You're out. Well, if this was serious, they would shoot him because he now knows state secrets and he can't know.
Chris (32:07.895)
Absolutely none. Terrible.
Chris (32:20.433)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (32:20.553)
I would vote vaginas. I think that's why he stays in the game. Yeah.
Chris (32:23.207)
I would second that, which is weak as well. 25 years, your ex comes through after 20 some odd years and then you do the the little little flirty, wordsy dance dance. And then she stabbed, they stab you in the back with a trank. You wake up in another country and then you play along, hop in a car. You're okay with that? Nah, bro.
Luciano (32:42.487)
And you're fine. And you're so fine with it. Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (32:46.592)
Listen, if my ex looks like Halle Berry does when she's 60, I would jump off of the Eiffel Tower for that woman. Ass first, onto several fingers that are not my own.
Chris (32:54.469)
Wrong. You would not. You would not.
Matt (32:57.357)
But I will - But the other thing you have to add here is like, as far as I can understand from the backstory, the little backstory they give us, she just fucking bailed on him.
Luciano (33:05.665)
Yeah.
Chris (33:05.713)
Correct. So, yeah, but yeah.
Matthew Ward (33:06.003)
Yeah, but she's still Halle Berry. You're saying there's a chance? There's a chance.
Luciano (33:11.851)
But here's the thing, here's the thing. He spends... Jesus, there is that. But like, okay, but I get what you're saying, Matt, other Matt, but he spends the majority of this movie saying, no, this is not, like, I'm not making a pass at you. I just want to do this thing.
Matt (33:13.915)
He got to nail a seventh grade teacher. What more do you want in life?
Chris (33:31.751)
Sure, correct. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (33:32.797)
Yeah, those are lies. Those are male toxic lies.
Luciano (33:34.795)
But it, I mean.
Matt (33:35.953)
That's most truthful, realistic part of this movie by far.
Chris (33:38.215)
I'm not much it's the no it's the no it's the no effort shot
Luciano (33:40.375)
Fair. That's fair.
So I just want to say something here about Mike. So this is a scene that pissed me off because of the follow -up. They're like training, and he has to memorize this other persona, like Ed Weston, right? And they're fighting, she's like, wow, they're fighting. She's like, what's your name? I'm Ed Weston. Where are from? Boston.
Matt (33:48.592)
Yeah.
Chris (33:55.387)
Do it. Do it.
Chris (34:04.069)
Yeah, thick seven inch bookminder.
Matt (34:05.147)
Mm
Luciano (34:13.589)
And she goes, I'm not hearing the accent. And he goes, all right, all right, I pock the car. And then famously, Bostonian fucking Marky Mark cannot use his own fucking accent for the right, like he goes into that shop, he talks to the person, talks to Rudy, whatever the, all in this generic made up New Jersey accent that he has.
Matt (34:23.21)
Mm
Matt (34:38.159)
We've fucking seen him use the accent in the departed. Right?
Luciano (34:43.229)
Exactly. It's his, it's his, he had to fight it. That would be like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Google hunting not having a Bostonian accent too. Like that level of stupid. I was so pissed. was like, dude can't even do it. Like he's such a bad actor that he can't even do his own accent. Like what the fuck is going on?
Matthew Ward (34:43.986)
Mm -hmm.
Matt (34:46.631)
You can do it.
Chris (34:46.917)
It's his it's his mother tongue!
Chris (34:52.535)
Affleck. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah
Chris (35:08.298)
I'm a dude playing a dude who needs to play himself as a dude from Boston, but I shouldn't
Luciano (35:11.913)
And can't! Yeah.
Matthew Ward (35:13.629)
Listen, he was trying to play it as a blue collar worker who's a fish out of water and can't do accents. It's layers and it's talent, so lay off of him.
Chris (35:19.974)
Hmm.
Matt (35:20.923)
From Jersey, yeah.
Chris (35:24.184)
Mmm, actually he, wow.
Luciano (35:24.74)
it's no layers like a lasagna and no talent. Then I would agree.
Matt (35:30.215)
Mm
Matthew Ward (35:32.336)
Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's fair.
Chris (35:32.879)
Yes, and, yes, and even when Roxanne walks into the bar and they try to, the movie tries to whisk us away. Like if you haven't seen the trailer, whether you have or you haven't seen the trailer, it's bullshit straight up and down. She walks in, da da da, we know she has an ulterior motive because the movie has shown us that she's an agent and she's coming to recruit him. And so the whole time I'm actually thinking, don't do it, dude, don't do it. And then like, right, and.
Luciano (35:54.162)
yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (35:55.781)
Mm.
Luciano (35:59.997)
Yeah, walk away.
Chris (36:02.851)
Even before that, like, they show us the relationship with his mother. And I'm like, that's sweet. Yes. OK, good. That was wholesome. And then Roxanne walks in and then all then the movie kicks off, right? No connection, no motivation. I'm like, why? Why are you doing this, dude?
Matt (36:19.045)
I mean, they have a connection. used to be friends in high school.
Chris (36:22.216)
used to until he got trained and and and freighted to the other side of the world.
Matthew Ward (36:22.363)
Also, can we quickly?
Luciano (36:27.105)
Well, we've established just that, you know, he wanted some Halle Berry pussy. That's what he wanted.
Matthew Ward (36:27.845)
Can we all sue?
Chris (36:32.751)
Yes, but that's not enough to risk one's life, son.
Matt (36:35.279)
Well, that's a judgment call. don't think that's... That's a judgment call, you know.
Matthew Ward (36:35.681)
yes it is. That's...
Luciano (36:37.286)
Yeah
Luciano (36:40.907)
He was banging his teacher and then Halle Berry walked back into his life. I would also go, okay.
Chris (36:46.289)
But that's not how it goes.
Matt (36:49.125)
But that's not the plot hole, like that's not a plot hole for Mike that he wants to get with Halle Berry. That's the credible part. But it all falls apart because, you know, he goes, he stays for no reason. And everything he does...
Luciano (36:54.623)
Yeah. No, no, that's, that's the credible part. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (36:58.691)
Yeah.
Luciano (37:04.289)
Yeah.
Chris (37:04.369)
Correct.
Chris (37:09.787)
Yeah. Everything I do has no motivation.
Matt (37:11.075)
either makes it worse or doesn't have any effect.
Luciano (37:14.496)
Yes.
Luciano (37:19.803)
It's more the latter. Like he goes along, right? And whenever he does something himself, other than, you know, we're going to talk about this later, but other than like killing a guy with a brick when he was holding a gun, nothing else he does is of actual like effect. It's all, which is, it's fine. He's not an agent, but then why was he still there?
Chris (37:20.444)
Yeah.
Chris (37:34.651)
Construction.
consequence.
Chris (37:42.427)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (37:46.113)
Mm -hmm. Like, couldn't she... It felt like Halle Berry could have just done this on her own. More effectively, Yeah.
Chris (37:46.427)
Yeah, that's the that's big.
Luciano (37:48.104)
After he -
Luciano (37:51.904)
Faster, faster. Yeah, yeah. He was like dead weight, basically.
Chris (37:52.027)
Correct. Yes. the only re - Go on. Yes. The only reason he should have stayed is if for some, like once the, like the Faraday forces and auctioneer forces realize who this is, like once they really make this guy Mike, also, why did he call out his own government name later on? He's like, no, it's not alias, it's Mike.
Luciano (38:12.028)
Yeah, I was gonna say that. He's like, man. And she goes, how very de -pless -ous -ous have you Mr. Weston? my name's Mike McKenna from New Jersey. Here's my social security number.
Matthew Ward (38:15.787)
And it.
Chris (38:22.737)
Fuck. Yes. Why did he do that?
Matthew Ward (38:22.841)
Listen.
And while we're going on this, while we're going on this, while we're going on this, why did his mother look like we have Jennifer Coolidge at home? Like she just was almost, but not quite. And the guy, and the very guy in the beginning looked suspiciously a lot like Channing Tatum, but wasn't. I don't understand this movie. There was actors there that weren't there. Nothing makes sense. This movie's done. I can't take it anymore.
Luciano (38:27.401)
I forgot about that.
Chris (38:35.131)
Hmm.
Luciano (38:35.347)
Yeah, she does a little bit. Yeah.
Chris (38:38.158)
She felt familiar.
Chris (38:45.528)
Sure. Yes. And if they wanted to give, I hear you, if they wanted to give Mike McKenna real motivation after he left, then once they made his real identity after working with the so -called union, once they made him, should have, yes, that too, they should have grabbed his mother. And if they grabbed his mother, then you have real meat. Then he would have all the reasons to go ham.
Matthew Ward (39:00.981)
or he just told them.
Luciano (39:12.031)
I
Matt (39:14.023)
Chris, this is great. Logic, we're not here for it. We need to move on to our next plot hole to keep pace. Yeah, you're wrong. The villains motivations. Faraday, the Auctioneer, really are the two main villains. Juliet, I know, but they also call her the Auctioneer, so pick your poison.
Luciano (39:17.577)
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Chris (39:17.815)
Okay. I apologize. Logic, who, what was I thinking?
Luciano (39:27.669)
no.
Chris (39:28.646)
Mmm.
Luciano (39:32.321)
Julia is their name.
Chris (39:33.243)
The movie.
Luciano (39:36.031)
Yeah. Right.
Chris (39:36.657)
Juliet, okay. Juliet, no! An ox on a moon?
Matt (39:42.001)
Faraday!
Luciano (39:46.155)
He's still fucking out of the blue. He does.
Matt (39:47.856)
Ha ha ha ha
Faraday!
dies. Who knows what happened to don't care. Yeah, Faraday orchestrates all of this to get a payback. So I think, you know, we talked about this in the pre -show. And I think the core premise of this is all of the things that Faraday orchestrates to fake his own death mean nothing because he inserts himself heavily in the process from the time he is alive to the end of the movie.
Luciano (39:55.157)
What's a fire day? What's a payday?
Chris (40:00.027)
Let me know. Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (40:01.981)
and face his own death. Yeah.
Luciano (40:18.017)
Yeah.
Luciano (40:23.183)
Arguably, him faking his own death and doing things from afar in like covert ways was actually detrimental to his own plan because if he was involved directly he could have steered things much more easily.
Chris (40:29.98)
Yeah.
Chris (40:41.895)
I think if he had played, if he had become, if he had evolved himself into a Brennan of his own making, it probably would have worked. And then, you know, he could have driven the powerboat himself, picked up the suitcase and gone off onto the sunset.
Luciano (40:51.499)
But it didn't.
That's, I'm not even going that far. I'm just saying like he, like he tells Roxanne later. He's like, after you did that, I had to do this and I had to kill Athena and I had to blow up the tower and all that shit. And it's like, well, you had to do that because you faked your own death. You stupid idiot. Like if you were there, it was like, fuck, they knocked me out and, or like they shot me.
Chris (41:11.025)
collateral damage.
Matt (41:17.286)
Yes.
Luciano (41:24.723)
I was like when he gets shot, he gets shot in the chest, right? And he falls into the water. I was for sure, like I was thinking, he's gonna come out and say, you know, they thought they killed me, but they didn't, which would have been smart, right? But no, he just like this, he's dead. Nobody goes looking for him, first of all.
Chris (41:28.603)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Matt (41:39.899)
Mm -hmm.
Chris (41:45.511)
It falls into the, it plays into the age old principle, no body, no real death.
Luciano (41:52.307)
Exactly. And this is an agency, right? He's a secret agent. The union doesn't even go look for his body to retrieve it and like clean up, right?
Chris (41:56.497)
Yeah.
Matt (42:01.329)
That's fair, but that's the unions lack of due diligence. We covered them already. We covered them already. They had no idea what they're We're past it. No, no, let's just, we're in it. We're talking about, we're talking about, we're talking about Faraday and Juliet's motivations. think Juliet, the auctioneer's motivation seemed pretty clear cut. She's just, it's payday for her.
Chris (42:03.887)
Logic.
Luciano (42:04.779)
That's the first, that's the first blood hole. We're coming at it already. We're past it.
Chris (42:11.303)
Do we need a new plot hole? Should we pull one from the cache? Okay. We do it, we keep going? Okay.
Luciano (42:15.029)
No, we're alre we're in it!
The villain.
Chris (42:21.435)
Yes. Motivation, yeah.
Chris (42:28.869)
Yeah, yeah. And fair day is fairer day.
Luciano (42:29.097)
Well, yeah, it's.
Luciano (42:34.463)
Yeah, faraday, faraday, once a payday, like I said, and that's, that's fine as a motivation. However,
Matthew Ward (42:39.931)
Yeah. Why do they care about who they're selling it to if they just want money?
Luciano (42:43.904)
Yeah, yeah, imagine how much better it would have been in terms of like satisfaction to steal something from the CIA and have them pay to retrieve it because he didn't really he wasn't like, fuck all of these agencies. I want everybody to burn. He was like, No, I just want, you know, not to. He says, you know, Brennan's blue collar bullshit was getting to me. I just want to make money. Fair little greedy, but fair. So
Chris (42:45.905)
Yeah.
Matt (42:53.839)
Right?
Chris (43:10.351)
Yes.
Luciano (43:12.491)
Why not let the CIA buy the thing again? He potentially made a lot more money if he knew the CIA was there and every time the CIA bid, he had someone else bid him even higher.
Matthew Ward (43:17.531)
Yeah, this is like, yeah.
Chris (43:18.661)
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris (43:28.379)
Yeah, and the money the the the the bid amount is just skyrocketing up and up and up and up at that point the plan was working But I have the answer I know why it's because fair days villainy onboard training was never completed
Luciano (43:35.83)
Yeah.
Luciano (43:44.508)
We're gonna get there. We're gonna get there next.
Matthew Ward (43:44.877)
Hmm. True. He only had two months or six weeks or a week. Six days?
Chris (43:47.803)
Mm. Mm.
six weeks, six months of VILNI training compressed into two weeks.
Matthew Ward (43:56.433)
two weeks. That's it.
Luciano (43:56.563)
he got the Mike McKenna treatment. I see.
Chris (44:00.517)
The Mike McKenna protocol. The Boston Protocol.
Matt (44:00.551)
I I think it's like the whole thing doesn't make sense. think it's time to get into the good. They go hand in hand. What we're talking about is the.
Luciano (44:11.487)
I, before we get to the villainy part, I just want to ask a question. So Juliette, the auctioneer is arguably a villain in this too, right? And like you said, she was in this for the Moolah. Fair. So why did she betray Faraday in that scene where Halle Berry is pointing the gun and she had like six people pointing guns at Halle Berry? Like why not just kill this woman who's been a pest?
Chris (44:28.337)
Good question. With Roxanne.
Chris (44:35.089)
outgunned.
Yep, correct.
Luciano (44:39.647)
And continue with the fucking plan with with the with the Iranians.
Matt (44:43.223)
Well, that's how we slip into villainy because no one is a villain, right? That's a good segue. Because we see, so for whatever reason, Faraday is very capable of offing all his friends or attempting to off all of his friends from, you know, he just wants to get paid and he's like, you got to cover tracks, but he seems like he's going out of his way. Like he did not have to kill Athena Kim at all. That just seemed like a pleasure kill. Yeah.
Chris (44:43.287)
Logic.
Luciano (44:45.867)
There you go.
Luciano (44:57.633)
Yeah.
Luciano (45:07.275)
Maybe he just didn't like her. Yeah, it was like, since I'm here might as well get rid of the people I don't like.
Matt (45:13.455)
Yeah. And then, but when it comes to actually doing the job and you know, like the last third of the movie where, you know, you could have killed his ex wife, you could have like shot the Iranians, you could have shot, nobody shoots at anybody in a meaningful way. But like, and I understand the good guys, like I understand Mike not wanting to shoot because he still loves Roxy, et cetera. Like that's fine. That's a fair motivation. But all the villains, like you already show you'll kill for very little reason. Why don't you keep doing it?
Chris (45:13.841)
Correct.
Luciano (45:20.144)
man.
Luciano (45:25.801)
Nobody kills anybody. Yeah.
Chris (45:27.814)
No.
Chris (45:32.924)
Yeah.
Luciano (45:34.741)
Right.
Luciano (45:39.242)
Yeah.
Chris (45:41.948)
Hmm.
Matthew Ward (45:42.392)
Fair enough though, we don't know why he killed Athena. Maybe she was like, disrespectful or something. Maybe she said something mean to him or she rejected him or something. There could be motivation as to why he killed her. I think that there might be something there. Maybe it was a workplace disagreement.
Chris (45:49.605)
Hmm... Maybe.
Yeah, it's possible.
Luciano (45:55.457)
Well, that's fine, but at that point, why not kill Mike, for example? Well, it's not just them. It's not just Faraday. Even the Iranians, nobody shoots Mike. They go do the beam dance with Mike instead of shooting him.
Matthew Ward (46:02.904)
He's got no beef with Mike.
Matt (46:09.435)
Yeah, this is all true.
Chris (46:17.157)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (46:17.559)
Yeah, they're not very good gangsters. The gun is put on the table and they're like, this is not for me, I'm leaving. I'm offended.
Chris (46:22.371)
light on their feet.
Luciano (46:23.563)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it was like, she has she has a she has a gun away from her hand can't do anything. I'm out. Yeah.
Chris (46:26.167)
You know?
Matthew Ward (46:31.462)
I'm just going to go -
Matt (46:33.561)
After they remarked that they brought all of these like bodyguards. She has no gun in her hand.
Matthew Ward (46:37.64)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (46:37.663)
Yeah, you're comparing the number of bodyguards on each side. She's just walked in on her own. Yeah.
Matt (46:42.373)
Yeah, just... Shoot her. Who cares who she is?
Chris (46:47.067)
Like even Faraday proved that he could run a good distraction play by yanking the cloth off the table. Anyone could have done something. That was mega stupid. Leaving a gun in the middle of the table, also showing up with no real show of gun support or whatever. Yeah, you're right. You're right. What was I thinking?
Matthew Ward (46:58.762)
Mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (47:10.988)
She had my kind of best bet.
Matthew Ward (47:16.62)
The whole part in the beginning before that was planned that you didn't see, he's like, what getaway car are we gonna get? And she's like, well, we could get that SUV over there. We could get this motorcycle, like eight cylinders. It's great. It's amazing to listen to it purr. And he's like, no, let's get the fast spot. And it was just so cool.
Chris (47:16.741)
Like the cards were stacked in their favor.
Luciano (47:17.758)
And like, to me...
Chris (47:23.29)
Hmm.
Chris (47:30.203)
Hmm. Hmm.
Chris (47:35.451)
I got this, Rox. I got this.
Luciano (47:35.497)
Yeah. Well, to me, the most egregious, why don't you, why don't you just like, to me, the most egregious, why don't you just shoot a moment is when Mike is on the hood of the Iranian car, BMW, he gets like, he could have shot him there, but let's say he didn't want to shoot through the windshield, but then Mike gets trapped.
Matthew Ward (47:39.531)
I watched Luca. I know how to ride this.
Chris (47:42.617)
Yay! Silencio Bruno!
Matthew Ward (47:43.948)
You
Matt (47:46.289)
Hahaha.
Chris (47:53.701)
BMW.
Chris (47:59.729)
true. Right? Yeah. you're right. You're right. You're right into
Matthew Ward (48:00.47)
Mm
Luciano (48:05.051)
inside the trunk of a car cannot go anywhere. Why didn't the Iranian just walk there? Two seconds, three shots, dead. No, no, just leave him there. And then
Chris (48:08.752)
Yes.
Chris (48:14.565)
Yes.
That's the thickest plot armor I've ever seen.
Luciano (48:19.815)
yeah, and then right after, I was going to say Mike again, because this is my culture, Faraday drives by in his purple Porsche, points the gun at the Iranian, grabs the thing and runs away instead of shooting the Iranian.
Chris (48:36.219)
Did he have to shoot him though? that it was a bit well is it like what were they?
Luciano (48:37.419)
Why not? They were shooting each other. The Iranian would have killed them. Yeah. If the Iranian killed Faraday, he could have gotten the list for free instead of transferring money.
Matthew Ward (48:41.034)
Clearly.
Matthew Ward (48:48.618)
True, but clearly from the look of that BMW, how beat up it was and the fact that there was luggage everywhere, and this man was living out of his car and everyone felt bad for him. Clearly, they like, they were like gonna shoot him and he was just like, shoot him. And he's like, this economy, I can't do that. That's not fair.
Chris (48:49.061)
It's true.
Chris (48:55.591)
True. Yes. True.
Luciano (48:57.047)
He didn't want to destroy his home is what they're saying.
Chris (49:02.586)
No.
Chris (49:06.064)
you
Matt (49:06.097)
But that's not the Iranian's car, but he rolls up in a much fancier car.
Luciano (49:10.581)
That's true.
Matthew Ward (49:10.75)
Yeah, that's what he wanted you to believe. He just happened to be in that car.
Chris (49:10.833)
True.
Matt (49:12.901)
Well, I mean, you can only believe what the movie tells you, right?
Luciano (49:16.043)
But, and also they were bringing a shit ton of money to buy the list.
Chris (49:16.207)
Hard times. True.
Chris (49:22.181)
Mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (49:22.527)
Mmm. That's why he's living in his car, because it cost him so much.
Matt (49:24.935)
What like, yeah, that was like 500, 600 million dollars. Was it 600 million dollars? Is that what they settled on? I think this, listen, these are all good points. The villains suck. Let's get to the last plot hole here.
Luciano (49:25.107)
No, you tried Matt, but no.
Chris (49:27.643)
The money was in the suitcase.
Luciano (49:32.831)
Yeah, something like that. Yeah.
Luciano (49:41.889)
my god, I lost track of the number already. boy.
Matt (49:43.565)
The CIA. I understand that you need sort of a fall guy, fall person, a stooge, if you will. And the CIA to some degree is a bit of a stooge here. But it just feels weird that the CIA, I don't know where, I'll give you some examples and you guys jump in where you think this is where the CIA falls apart in terms of plotholes.
Chris (49:44.103)
Keep it
Matt (50:11.931)
The CIA generates this list of all the secret agents, everybody who's ever done anything, okay? For reasons unknown. And it's just, the CIA isn't the union. The CIA is a known commodity. The CIA would never just create this. Like, it's a little far fetched if the CIA would create this list and then lose it and then employ a third agency.
Matthew Ward (50:15.548)
right there.
Luciano (50:17.682)
for reasons unknown.
Matthew Ward (50:18.182)
Yeah, we're done. There you go.
Luciano (50:35.349)
and then lose it.
Matt (50:39.569)
clean up the mess. Like why would the CIA need to hire the union at all?
Luciano (50:42.515)
Yeah, why wasn't the CIA cleaning up its own mess? They make it seem like, we're the ones that get shit done when the other ones don't. But one, you clearly don't. All you do is fail. And second of all, at that point, why, like the CIA was able to capture the Union people, right? Well, except for Halle Berry and Marky Mark.
Matt (50:53.475)
Absolutely not.
Chris (51:06.63)
Marky Mark.
Matt (51:06.801)
Well, Halle Bear is the only field agent left, so that's why she got away.
Luciano (51:10.611)
I mean, the time she takes from saying yelling jump and actually jumping onto that boat, she could have been so riddled with bullets. know, plot armor being what it is, it makes sense, unfortunately.
Chris (51:11.793)
You
Chris (51:21.959)
Like did they, true, like did they, like she threw the case, did they have to start shooting if the case was legit?
Matthew Ward (51:26.502)
I feel like all the gunmen were just frozen by that. They're like, well, is she gonna jump? You know how you get in that moment and you think someone's gonna do something so you're like, would, but I don't, what are you doing? And then she just froze them. I think that's what it was.
Luciano (51:33.621)
Yeah, yeah, it's like incredulous. Yeah, incredulous.
Chris (51:41.585)
Hmm.
Luciano (51:41.687)
I think it's more like the incredulity they like jump and she turns around and slowly climbs the rail They're like, is she for fucking real? What's going on here?
Matthew Ward (51:49.381)
Yeah, what is happening? That's not jumping. That's climbing. That's a lie.
Chris (51:49.543)
That's that's that's like what hoisting oneself over
Luciano (51:54.112)
Yeah.
Luciano (51:58.485)
Yeah. So I don't, I don't know. First of all, I don't believe that that fucking, you know, want to be like the dude that is liaisoning with Brennan. The dude that wanted so badly to be Gary Oldman in the professional. But wasn't.
Matthew Ward (51:59.513)
Yeah.
Chris (52:09.761)
The director.
The CIA Idaho guy?
Matthew Ward (52:18.179)
Hmm. Don't we all want to be Gary Oldman sometimes? I mean, you know, I feel like...
Chris (52:18.544)
Okay.
Chris (52:22.523)
Hmm.
Luciano (52:22.997)
Yeah, that's true. And I don't believe, I don't believe him for like a secret agent or a director of an agency. And like, at no point does he convince me that is anything other than like some fucking smug wannabe something. No, Gary Oldman is good. The guy that wanted to be Gary Oldman.
Matt (52:23.013)
Mm
Chris (52:35.642)
Yeah, terrible.
Matthew Ward (52:41.327)
Wait, Gary Oldman?
Matthew Ward (52:46.449)
right, right. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Who seemed, who seemed, who seemed genuinely concerned about the budget a lot. Maybe that's why they were in, maybe there was some budget issues.
Chris (52:46.673)
The CIA director from Idaho. And they rob? I know. I know that.
Luciano (52:50.599)
yeah, I'm from Idaho. You think I don't know that? Yeah.
Matt (52:58.439)
This is another thing because the US doesn't really make a secret of things like the national defense budget. The national defense budget of 2023 based on a very cursory Google search is $820 billion with a B. And this guy is like, man, you're up to $150 million. Right?
Luciano (53:07.926)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:14.593)
With a B. Yeah.
A HUNT
We're gonna have to sell a state. Blu blu blu. Makes no fucking sense, yeah.
Matt (53:25.905)
And it's like, why? Like it's just that, whole thing didn't make sense. The CIA lost this list. Wouldn't you try? Like this is every secret agent ever in the history of time and space. And you're like, that's too rich. I guess they'll die.
Luciano (53:30.804)
in.
Luciano (53:36.44)
Yeah. I'm walking out. Yeah. No, this is this has like Dr. Evil on Austin Powers One energy, but without the comedy. I want one million dollars. What? It's like, do you know? Do you know how money works?
Matt (53:46.375)
Yes. Yeah. 100%. Yeah.
Matt (53:57.882)
Yeah.
Luciano (53:59.989)
Yeah, doesn't that none of the and then him being like like a boomer with the cell phone when doing the thing for the it's like raising the thing. how does this work? is this this is a the director of the center intelligence agency not my grandma Trying to use a cell phone
Matt (54:07.277)
Yeah.
Chris (54:16.217)
It was terrible.
The most bumbling idiot ever.
Luciano (54:21.761)
Yeah.
Matt (54:22.875)
You know, to me, this is where like part of this problem is because you've made it like somehow got to be an international agency immediately in the union. And like to me, this is where you want to have like the local sheriff involved, right? Because you believe the local sheriff. Yeah, the look. Yeah. You could have had just fucking the London police involved. He represents the London police. You'd like, yeah, the police are idiots. They fucking kill the wrong people all the time. That's like their favorite pastime. And so now when he's an idiot.
Luciano (54:39.056)
The Bobbies, the Bobbies, because they're in London.
Luciano (54:52.459)
Yeah, that would have been better.
Matt (54:53.273)
It's believable, but the CIA, I'm like, this guy runs the CIA. He can't be this stupid. just, it's, it's a little too far fetched. And it just kind of like, it just unravels, right? The fact that like, Faraday tricks them into believing that, this guy who ran, apparently ran really secretive black ops missions for them. Like, like that guy's worked for the CIA forever, right? Like Tom Brennan worked for the CIA forever. And now he's gonna, he's gonna sell this list and
Luciano (54:58.337)
Yeah.
Luciano (55:19.403)
Yeah.
Matt (55:21.915)
They all just believe fair day, point blank.
Luciano (55:25.311)
Yeah, that's true. It's like, well, there is a hint. Must be true.
Matt (55:30.247)
This guy who came back from the dead, conveniently right now, he must be trustworthy. Not this guy we've worked with for, you know, 50 years.
Luciano (55:35.457)
Yeah.
I also like the thing, even like Roxy, who probably knew him better, right? He's like, no, no, no, no, I'll take care of the auctioneer. Just leave her to me. And you don't hear, like he could have made a showing at least of shooting like the wall or whatever to say, no, I'm going to kill her. No, he's just, they walk away. I kept listening and they're like, is he not going to, is it going to be that? Yeah, he has, he's going to be that obvious. Okay.
Matt (55:56.923)
Yep. Anything.
Luciano (56:08.533)
This guy, this fucking idiot tricked two agencies and got away with it. Well, I mean, considering how incompetent they both are, actually does track.
Matthew Ward (56:21.107)
blue collar one I get why they'd be somewhat incompetent because they're apparently blue collar that's fair but I also questioned why the head why the head of the CIA was even involved like he's the head of the CIA why would he be in a
Luciano (56:26.731)
Jesus Christ.
Luciano (56:31.799)
Well, I don't think they ever qualify him like that. He's a member or like some sort of a middle management of the... He's the supervisor. He's the supervisor of the CIA. don't know. Yeah. That's a good question, right? Yeah. Actually, I'm actually looking what his build does.
Chris (56:37.989)
The ass.
Matthew Ward (56:43.314)
He's the banker of the CIA, he's the marketing.
Matt (56:47.461)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (56:49.222)
Now, was he even CIA? Who was this guy? I don't even know.
Matt (56:52.635)
Mmm.
Chris (56:55.947)
liaison to UPS. I was trying to find him and I couldn't. So forgettable but equally as annoying. So let me know if you find him. But the most bumbling and ineffective actor and character served no purpose whatsoever.
Luciano (57:08.988)
And I'm trying.
Matt (57:17.063)
He did a good job acting being a bumbling idiot. Well he's supposed to be a bumbling idiot. Very successful. That is... No, it's unnecessary to this movie, but he's efficient at what he's supposed to do. It just has no place in this movie. Like it's not...
Chris (57:19.075)
Acting what? don't know. don't I don't know if that's successful.
Matthew Ward (57:24.22)
It's not very funny about it though.
Chris (57:28.879)
It was cringe for me.
Matthew Ward (57:33.814)
Mm
Luciano (57:34.007)
Is his name Bobby Breslin? Is that who he is? Yeah, he's just built as Bobby Breslin. No, Bobby Breslin, CIA. I think we might be onto something, Hybe. I think he was not CIA at all. Yeah.
Matt (57:36.357)
I think so, I don't know. I fucking can't tell.
Matthew Ward (57:49.116)
He's a triple agent. was working for the Iranians the whole time.
Matt (57:55.801)
That actually makes more sense. that's the end of our plot holes, and if I'm honest, no, fuck that. What's the point? Like, what? We can't fix this. Like, you're writing a whole -
Luciano (57:59.639)
Should we try to fix this?
Okay.
Chris (58:07.759)
And we shouldn't really try.
Luciano (58:07.765)
Well, we did, like I was, cause I was thinking when you were talking about him being like the police instead of CIA, like if everything wasn't saved the whole world, if it was just like saving, someone has the list of union agents and we need to recover that. a hundred percent. It doesn't even smell like the same movie. Yeah.
Matt (58:14.501)
Yeah, but like, you're -
Matt (58:22.309)
Right, but at what point are you just writing an entirely different movie? Right? And so like, that's not, we don't need to do that. This is, know, like, yeah.
Matthew Ward (58:31.288)
Listen, I can give you a movie that's better than this. I can describe it for you pretty easily. It's pretty simple, right? basically it's just a simple breakdown here. When a US government agent and his mentor go on a covert assignment, it takes a disastrous turn. His mentor is killed.
Luciano (58:38.385)
Well, yeah, toddler could.
Chris (58:38.725)
We all could. And not that I don't want to hear it, but go on.
Matthew Ward (58:59.684)
and the wondrous becomes the prime suspect and must as a fugitive track down the brilliant hackers that stole the knock list and you know, save the day. I believe that Brian DiPalma is attached to direct, you know, yeah, yeah. I'd also get Tom Cruise to star in it, cause I think he could do it.
Luciano (59:05.943)
Hahaha!
Matt (59:08.737)
You
Luciano (59:11.927)
Wait a minute!
Matt (59:13.475)
you
Matt (59:21.275)
Yeah.
Chris (59:22.611)
That would be your pick?
Luciano (59:27.287)
Would you change the intro of the movie to feature like the fuse of a bomb going off?
Matt (59:27.623)
Great idea.
Matthew Ward (59:29.179)
Matthew Ward (59:33.626)
You know what, that's a bit on the nose. Let's not go too far onto that, you know? Yeah, I think, I think, I think, you know, he'd be good for that.
Luciano (59:36.793)
I see.
Matt (59:38.021)
Hey, what is John Voight doing these days?
Chris (59:41.518)
Mmm, that's a good question.
Luciano (59:45.301)
You know, he could have been such a good pick for the leader of the blue collar agency.
Matthew Ward (59:51.233)
Right? He oozes blue collar. I'm just saying. Right? There you go. We fixed it.
Matt (59:53.799)
It really does. Listen, what we're trying to say is watch Mission Impossible 1. Okay? Just watch Mission Impossible 1. We did it. Let's ask some fun questions. Let's have a little bit of fun with this movie here. Let's start off easy. We learn through this movie for reasons that no one cares to unpack, that Roxanne Hall and Nick Faraday were married.
Luciano (59:58.21)
Please save us. Please save us, man.
Matt (01:00:22.021)
and then they got separated. I just want to know what caused them to separate.
Luciano (01:00:22.272)
Right.
Luciano (01:00:27.191)
Hmm.
Chris (01:00:30.001)
Faraday was unable to, he had a terrible jump shot. He kept traveling and he couldn't sing. And so for those reasons, like every time she looked, she like at some point, she wanted to go to karaoke. She wanted to like just like dribble the ball, try to assume, like get a taste of what normal life or real blue collar non -working off the clock hours were like. And then she's like,
Luciano (01:00:47.361)
So.
Chris (01:00:58.767)
Every time I look at you, and like the inner dialogue with Bob Larson, he's like, every time I look at him, feel like, I just feel like I want to be around someone who's real. Like, Mike comes to mind. Hmm. Hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:01:10.233)
I think it was the hair. She got that hair done, came in, he was just like, I don't even know you anymore.
Luciano (01:01:11.623)
I
Luciano (01:01:17.577)
Nope. Nope, I'm out.
Chris (01:01:17.851)
What did you do? Who did this to you? You look like a human. Go ahead. Correct. You know? And you know what, Rox? You look like a human Pepe Le Pew. No, thank you.
Matthew Ward (01:01:20.48)
No, I will not... I will not introduce you to the manager. That is not gonna happen. You know?
Matt (01:01:25.505)
haha
Luciano (01:01:26.391)
I see, yeah.
Matt (01:01:28.421)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:01:32.555)
Yeah. And she was like, you know who would like this? My ex Mike. And he's like, well, why don't you go find him for some covert secret mission? Okay. Cause he's a nobody and that's what you need right now. You need a nobody. So there you go. That's how it went down. Guaranteed.
Chris (01:01:36.582)
Mm
Luciano (01:01:39.291)
Maybe I will. Maybe I will. Maybe I will. I think, and this explains why he killed her, I think that Roxanne find out that he was having an affair with Athena. And Athena was satisfying his pegging fantasies that Roxanne didn't want to.
Matt (01:01:40.902)
You
Chris (01:01:45.765)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Chris (01:01:52.135)
Tried to.
Chris (01:02:04.055)
snap. He wanted to get paid and pegged.
Matt (01:02:05.553)
Damn. Okay.
Luciano (01:02:08.359)
Exactly. And I don't think Roxanne was prepared for it.
Matthew Ward (01:02:08.663)
And this was before his... Yeah. And I think this was before his affair with Jessica Jones. You know, like that was terrible too. Like how can you just... That was the passion, right? Like I saw those two in the bedroom. They were just, they were like animals, right? And then that was wild. The passions just sucked out of it. That and the hair.
Chris (01:02:17.509)
Bye.
Luciano (01:02:18.549)
You
Sleeping around? He was sleeping around,
Chris (01:02:29.049)
Hmm. Hmm.
Luciano (01:02:30.625)
think we've more than answered your question, man.
Matt (01:02:32.577)
No, you guys did great. That clears it all for me. Thank you. Hey, different question. Slightness, just a drift slightly to the left on this one. Yeah, what are the union rules to arming public places?
Luciano (01:02:36.383)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:02:37.006)
Woohoo!
Chris (01:02:42.631)
to the left.
Luciano (01:02:50.743)
You mean you mean how do they figure out which cereal box to put the Glocks in is that what you're asking?
Matthew Ward (01:02:52.716)
Mmm.
Matthew Ward (01:02:57.025)
Yes.
Matt (01:02:57.143)
where which one what are the limits to the caliber of guns they can hide what else the children find the guns etc yeah yeah yeah the two -week manual let's make this condenses
Chris (01:02:58.331)
That's nice! That's a nice one.
Luciano (01:03:02.033)
I see. the manual as you, okay.
Luciano (01:03:10.035)
Okay, so I think the first rule on that manual is put guns and gadgets and whatever you think field agents are going to need in the most accessible possible ways.
Matt (01:03:26.097)
Mm Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Chris (01:03:26.793)
to maximize the most like the age old principle of hiding in place plain sight. If you can reach it, something should be in there.
Luciano (01:03:31.623)
Exactly. Exactly. So like if you're going to hide guns in like a public plaza of some sort, put the gun in the hand of the largest statue you can find there. It's going to look natural, right? Like the statue is holding the gun, but only a trained agent will know that that's an actual gun, right?
Matt (01:03:46.671)
Right. Let's see.
Matthew Ward (01:03:46.825)
Yeah.
Chris (01:03:49.093)
You thirsty? You want some water? Correct. Robert E. Lee? There's a gun in there.
Matthew Ward (01:03:54.143)
You know, what about, that wouldn't work because there's no more Civil War monuments. Thanks, woke people. Now we'll never know who lost.
Chris (01:04:05.423)
Yeah
Luciano (01:04:06.539)
Oui?
Matt (01:04:06.639)
The Union... The Union can't operate in America. America will not stand for any Union whatsoever.
Matthew Ward (01:04:12.049)
Exactly. Never.
Luciano (01:04:12.529)
Yes, that might be the most believable thing about this whole movie.
Chris (01:04:12.837)
Hmm
Matthew Ward (01:04:18.901)
So, actually, to be honest though, I think that works better with the new statues. You could just have like all the civil rights leaders holding like books to their chest with glocks in them so that they can just like open them up and pull out the like glocks and it's like, you know, that sort of stuff.
Luciano (01:04:31.263)
Right.
No, and also, you know, find the most cliche places that blue collar workers would work on, like fuse boxes and like, like those, those lifts that people use to clean windows, put the guns in there. In plain sight, just put them there. Anybody can open and pick it up. Right.
Matthew Ward (01:04:45.605)
I would
Matthew Ward (01:04:52.242)
I like the idea of like groundskeepers at like a public park, keeping them in like a jungle gym. Like one of the bars just comes loose and it's like a sword, like a samurai sword. you know, out of one of those rocking horses, it's like rocking back and forth and then boom, suddenly it's like an AK -47. And they're just ready to go and just, I guess, mow down children. I don't know why you would need a school. Just, just.
Luciano (01:04:58.379)
Right.
Matt (01:05:00.743)
Mm
Luciano (01:05:14.677)
Well, the rocking horse becomes an actual vehicle, right?
Matt (01:05:18.439)
You don't to be fair Matt you don't actually have to use them to shoot children You're technically supposed to stop like other secret agents and stuff. I guess if the kid was a secret agent
Matthew Ward (01:05:24.37)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:05:28.81)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:05:30.652)
Well, yeah, I mean, that's true. That's right.
Luciano (01:05:31.223)
I was gonna say, unless the kid is an enemy field agent, then all bats are off.
Matthew Ward (01:05:35.748)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true.
Matt (01:05:35.874)
You got it. Let's just.
Chris (01:05:36.199)
But the playground, the playground rocking horses or the merry -go -round is perfect place to hide something. Or what if you thirsty? What if you thirsty in a gunfight? Just open up the bottom of the water fountain and pull that Smith and Wesson house.
Luciano (01:05:48.511)
Well, another obvious...
Matthew Ward (01:05:51.43)
That dual pistol is just like, you know, I love that.
Luciano (01:05:54.005)
Another obvious place is the McDonald's ball pit. I mean, we know that there are things there already. One more gun, not going to make any difference.
Chris (01:05:54.47)
That's a time.
Hmm
Matthew Ward (01:05:58.128)
Yeah.
Chris (01:05:59.867)
Yeah, there's always some some shit in there
Matthew Ward (01:06:01.906)
Can I can just ask you guys in this scene did anyone else get reminded of that scene in the Simpsons where they like pull the sting on? Groundskeeper Willie and you've got agents popping out of everywhere like what are them saying the water fountain? It's just got like guns coming out of there and they're all like attacking groundskeeper Willie
Chris (01:06:13.521)
Mm.
Luciano (01:06:16.695)
No, no, and I'll tell you why not because that scene in The Simpsons was actually legit funny. That's why this doesn't remind me of that.
Chris (01:06:18.412)
Hup,
Matthew Ward (01:06:24.655)
Yeah, there's no such thing as Scotch -Toberfest.
Matt (01:06:26.065)
There. Hurtful, but there.
Chris (01:06:27.643)
But that scene in this movie was also funny.
Luciano (01:06:29.655)
I all but fair. Yeah, I think.
Matt (01:06:34.695)
I'd like to think groundskeeper Willie is the true origin of the Union.
Matthew Ward (01:06:34.81)
Bye.
Luciano (01:06:38.997)
He is, is Brendan's boss is what he is.
Matt (01:06:41.627)
He is the original blue collar work.
Matthew Ward (01:06:43.113)
absolutely.
Luciano (01:06:44.767)
He he fu - he fucking is in a good way. I hadn't thought of that, but you're right. He is the true blue collar agent, the only - the one and only.
Chris (01:06:50.843)
Mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:06:52.976)
He's the lethal weapon all on his own too, know? He could just take them all on.
Luciano (01:06:57.184)
Yeah.
Chris (01:06:59.631)
Like, he's ready to tear his clothes off and like over the rocks and like, grease me up woman! You know? Like that's what we needed from Marky Mark. Or we needed from the ace in the hole groundskeeper blue collar union.
Matthew Ward (01:07:05.142)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:07:05.509)
Hahahahah
Matthew Ward (01:07:11.151)
Yes.
Matthew Ward (01:07:16.208)
That's what we needed from this movie, just casual nudity.
Chris (01:07:19.781)
You know, where is Gerard Butler going?
Nox on the moon!
Matt (01:07:32.071)
This is a great segue.
One second. Bruce, enough please.
Chris (01:07:36.453)
Yeah
Matthew Ward (01:07:37.872)
Speaking of, Segway is also a good place to hide a gun.
Luciano (01:07:40.055)
He's trying, Matt's been trying to talk for like two minutes and every time he starts, Bruce starts barking.
Matt (01:07:45.063)
Quiet please.
Matt (01:07:49.201)
Okay, speaking of, this is a good segue because, know, groundskeeper Willie is a good way to get into the next question. Where does the union do its best recruiting?
Chris (01:07:58.76)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm Mm -hmm.
Matthew Ward (01:07:58.928)
Hmm
Luciano (01:08:00.63)
Well, we know that Amazon warehouses is one, like we've got name checked. Yeah. You got, they got Rorschach from there.
Matthew Ward (01:08:06.616)
You're definitely finding a lot of disenfranchised people.
Chris (01:08:09.958)
Yes.
Matt (01:08:11.289)
Freddy, Fre - Freddy Krueger.
Chris (01:08:13.594)
Yes. Yes.
Luciano (01:08:15.008)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Chris (01:08:17.601)
Cineplex Odeon theaters the you need yeah
Luciano (01:08:21.111)
the people that work behind the counter making popcorn. Right. Right, right.
Chris (01:08:26.609)
Correct. Popcorn and the different food, the different food spots like...
Matt (01:08:30.736)
Hey Chris, how does being a Cineflex Odeon employee make you a good candidate to be part of the union?
Chris (01:08:37.777)
the pain tolerance, first of all. like, you know how many shots of like oil it takes to make like that mountain of butter in the maker? At least nine. That's not the real number. It's more like one, but I have firsthand experience. When you press that button about eight, nine times, you get nuclear popcorn and the burns and skulls that take place as a result of.
Matt (01:08:39.707)
Okay.
Matthew Ward (01:09:01.005)
Yeah.
Chris (01:09:06.907)
Just like that kid in The Simpsons, like, sir, I don't think he's coming back. Yeah, the pain tolerance, your pain tolerance goes through the roof. And that's exactly what you need in an agent. Yes.
Luciano (01:09:13.941)
Right. So it's like they're they're pre -trained then. They have a pre -training already. Okay.
Matthew Ward (01:09:15.818)
Also, you also wouldn't be squeamish, because I'm sure you see some stuff in those theaters that people leave behind. Yeah.
Luciano (01:09:23.735)
Also, the mental fortitude you develop of having to work in a Cineplex Odeon alone.
Chris (01:09:25.745)
have you, well, right, condoms, hot dogs that are rotten.
Matt (01:09:26.624)
The Union, perhaps.
Chris (01:09:33.191)
Mm
Matthew Ward (01:09:35.296)
Yeah, I'm also aware that they can at least fit four fingers in their assholes. Like that's a requirement in all Cineflex employers.
Chris (01:09:36.891)
Yes.
Chris (01:09:41.767)
This is also true. It's like, hey, I only have $13 for this movie ticket. What can you do? Well, actually, what can you do for me?
Luciano (01:09:52.766)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:09:52.935)
For our American listeners, you don't understand what a Cineplex Odeon worker is, AMC. Same thing. Exactly the same role.
Luciano (01:09:58.741)
Yeah, well, an EMC, but less nice, I want to say.
Chris (01:09:59.109)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:09:59.147)
Yeah, they can fit at least six fingers in their assholes. Americans commit when they do that. You know what mean? They don't go half -assed.
Matt (01:10:10.695)
Great, unrelated to that statement, I want to ask a different question entirely. Why did Mike kill a man with a brick instead of a gun? A man runs by Mike and he's holding an automatic machine gun.
Chris (01:10:13.049)
Yes.
Chris (01:10:19.629)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:10:21.323)
I'll do -
Matt, we had to remember he's a construction guy.
Chris (01:10:29.255)
True.
Matt (01:10:29.967)
He had two weeks of training.
Luciano (01:10:32.023)
My fucking bad!
Matt (01:10:36.155)
Thank you.
Chris (01:10:37.105)
We put two weeks of training into you god damn it where you pick up the gun and pull the trigger
Luciano (01:10:40.951)
I guess, think when Pushkin to Shahid just went back to being, that's why they want blue collar workers, because they revert back, no it's not that, they revert back to their true selves, which is arguably more violent than an agent.
Chris (01:10:48.429)
unorthodox reaction.
Matthew Ward (01:10:55.626)
Mm.
Matt (01:10:55.668)
He did throw brick so hard it killed a man. A regular person couldn't do that,
Chris (01:10:55.857)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:10:58.123)
Kill the man, yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:10:58.549)
Yeah.
Chris (01:10:59.323)
Well, if we want to be technical. True. No. He - He - Mm -hmm. No.
Luciano (01:11:02.103)
100 % wouldn't even know which kind of brick to pick where to hit a person Exactly. He crocodile dundee that fucking like yeah was spot -on in the head. Yeah
Matt (01:11:06.885)
The speed, the angle, yeah.
Chris (01:11:09.273)
Yeah, he did. With a hint of Steve Irwin in that that recoil, like hit the port, the guy and he went, yes. And then he went through the plastic and fell into the empty pool. Like that was calculated. That was partially premeditated. Like Mike surveyed the area, took the shot, cocked that back. It's like Steve Irwin.
Matthew Ward (01:11:13.162)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:11:19.351)
No! What?!
Matthew Ward (01:11:32.553)
Tris? Tris?
Luciano (01:11:33.453)
Yeah, he was like, the guy passed by, he looked at his gun, he looked at the brick, he looked at the gun, not the brick, just fucking pale married it.
Chris (01:11:37.883)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Nah.
Matthew Ward (01:11:40.221)
Are we thinking, so just out of curiosity, are we thinking of a different Steve Irwin? Cause I'm wondering the connection there. Like are you to imply that the stingray that killed Steve Irwin actually just hit him with a brick instead?
Chris (01:11:52.591)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:11:54.515)
No, no. So see, let me, let me, let me tell you, let me tell you what happened, Matt. I'll tell you what happened. I was making a, I was making a reference to the iconic cult movie, Crocodile Dundee, and Chris just grabbed the first Australian thing he found and made the free association there. That was all that happened.
Matt (01:11:58.001)
Hahaha!
Matthew Ward (01:12:00.733)
I could use this tail, but...
Matt (01:12:02.641)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:12:07.793)
that? Okay.
Chris (01:12:07.911)
Hmm.
Chris (01:12:14.279)
Do you see? Do you see? Do you see? You use what is around you and you improvise.
Matt (01:12:16.325)
Sorry.
Matthew Ward (01:12:19.185)
Okay.
Luciano (01:12:22.455)
I'm just giving you a glimpse behind the scenes of what goes on in this podcast.
Matt (01:12:22.533)
This is a yes.
Matt (01:12:28.645)
This is a, you're right. This is a yes and space and we support all the yeses. I just want to be clear here that there's probably another movie or maybe this is a cross section because well, Mike McKenna is clearly Sherlock Holmes from the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movies. You know, where he breaks down his like attacks and is like Mike's like, shoot.
Chris (01:12:29.925)
Hmm
Matthew Ward (01:12:31.911)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:12:39.9)
No.
Matthew Ward (01:12:41.193)
That's better.
Luciano (01:12:48.678)
no. How so?
Chris (01:12:49.336)
yes, yes.
Matthew Ward (01:12:49.565)
That's fair!
Matt (01:12:56.135)
shoots a gun at a 35 degree angle won't kill him just incapacitate him brick at a 45 degree angle hitting him on the left side of his skull right above his neck dead and we get the phone and it's all slow motion and then fast motion throws it kills Steve Irwin
Matthew Ward (01:13:01.907)
Okay.
Luciano (01:13:02.838)
Murder!
Chris (01:13:11.783)
Steve Irwin! Yeah. It's a latent savant ability, like almost pre -cogging.
Matthew Ward (01:13:12.341)
You
Luciano (01:13:15.999)
Yeah. I now have in my head like a crossover scene where Mike throws the stingray at the guy and kills him. Yes, yes. Mike is responsible for the death of the crocodile hunter, yes.
Matthew Ward (01:13:18.076)
Matthew Ward (01:13:26.907)
Yeah.
Matt (01:13:27.217)
That's Steve Herman.
Chris (01:13:32.305)
DON'T YOU RIIII
Matthew Ward (01:13:35.142)
Yep.
Matt (01:13:35.473)
I mean, this is a good point you bring up because, you know, Netflix is really loving the clear success of the movie, it's obviously been. And it's time to build the Unionverse to compete with Marvel. And the easiest way
Luciano (01:13:47.717)
no. To co - Wow, no, wait. To compete with the Venomverse if we're talking - Let's be honest here.
Chris (01:13:47.759)
Ooh, shit. Let's do this. It's the money. You're right.
Matt (01:13:54.503)
mean, whoever. Both. Start with the Venomverse, take down Marvel. That's right. So in this, I think the first way to do this, quick wins, right? You're not going to get another film right away. But what about webisodes? Those are still a thing in 2024, I'm sure. And so we could do one about Mike and Steve Irwin. But I think the more important thing to cover right now is the story, the powerboat that is coming to get Faraday at the end of the movie.
Chris (01:13:58.09)
You gotta start from the bottom.
Luciano (01:14:06.912)
Right.
Chris (01:14:08.42)
Or another film.
Luciano (01:14:11.627)
HAHAHAHA
Chris (01:14:18.735)
Hmm.
Chris (01:14:24.455)
Correct.
Matt (01:14:25.485)
What we need we need to tease that out because we really need to see from the powerboat side What happened right? Can you kind of walk me through? Those web episodes and and from the power boats point of view Mean it's it's usually a good it's like five minutes five minutes eight episodes kind of deal. I think right Obviously animated we don't have the budget for actors
Chris (01:14:30.757)
Yes.
Luciano (01:14:36.14)
How many webisodes are talking about here? Six, eight, how many? Like a five minute runtime? Yeah. Animated obviously, right?
We're just gonna do the voices ourselves apparently.
Matt (01:14:52.395)
yeah, that's fine. No one knows who's on the powerboat. That's up to you. You tell me what voices we need.
Luciano (01:14:57.299)
Okay. So I think we have to, the first thing we have to establish is who was driving the power boat. And I think it's safe to say it was Steve Irwin. Of course.
Chris (01:15:05.723)
Yes.
Chris (01:15:10.713)
Okay? The go - okay, okay, okay.
Matthew Ward (01:15:11.565)
Hmm
Matt (01:15:13.479)
Okay, listen, I'm gonna let you cook. have many questions, but you have eight episodes, so.
Luciano (01:15:13.846)
The crocodile hunter faked his death.
Luciano (01:15:18.857)
Okay, so he faked his death, obviously. He wouldn't die with a stingray attack. on. Because everybody knows that crocodile hunting is a blue collar job, so he was part of the Union, He was betraying the Union together with Mike. Not Mike. Fuck! The actor is Mike. His name is Faraday. This is hard. Nick. I'm just gonna call him Nick.
Matt (01:15:42.341)
Mm -hmm.
Luciano (01:15:49.217)
He was on that powerboat. He was going to make a surprise appearance. The actual Sivarman was going to make a surprise appearance in the movie. It was going to be the way that we were going to find out he wasn't dead. It's a fourth wall thing. Yeah. It was part of the real Union.
Matt (01:16:02.299)
I'm sorry, so you're telling me that the real Steve Irwin
It's like Tupac, he's still alive somewhere on an island. Tupac? Tupac, meh.
Luciano (01:16:10.805)
Yeah, of course, of course. shit. It was, okay, so was Steve Irwin, Tupac, and Elvis on that. No, I'm kidding. And yeah, he was driving. So this is like the end of the webisodes, right? Because we end, as we always have to, we end right at that scene. That's where the webisodes end. And I'll let the other creatives here take over. But we end with him.
Matthew Ward (01:16:10.958)
Mm
Chris (01:16:11.623)
He bumped the table! To Park.
Matt (01:16:18.866)
Jesus.
Chris (01:16:19.88)
I need money.
Luciano (01:16:40.865)
giving up on showing his face because he's like, Nick is dead. Why would I show my face? Why would I get tip my hand? I'm just gonna walk away and find another list of all the possible agents that ever existed in the world to steal. That's what he's gonna do. So that's how it ends. you know, can take it back from there.
Chris (01:17:07.217)
So the next episode, yeah, the next episode, connecting the dot from you.
Luciano (01:17:10.389)
Yeah, so this one is like showing how things are gonna tie up. Next episode is all you, go for it.
Chris (01:17:15.153)
Great. So the next episode picks up in Vienna where we meet one Ludwig Dieter who's on his hero's quest and looking for a challenge. Like he's cracking safes. If y 'all remember Ludwig from Army of the Dead and Army of Thieves lore, Snyder lore. He's in Vienna.
Matt (01:17:40.153)
I absolutely do not.
Chris (01:17:42.545)
You don't? That's okay, great. I was as I was saying, he's a master safe cracker, right? And so he's in Vienna and he's trying to remain incognito because after a number of YouTube videos that no one is watching of him extolling the virtues of how to crack safes and why this safe is the Holy Grail, he embarks on a self -imposed quest.
and he crossed his paths with one Nick Faraday. No, Nick Faraday and Juliette who are hatching a plan, a plan to heist a grand sum of money based on a very valuable item that they're looking to possess. But in order to identify the location of said item, which they want to remain undisclosed until they can secure their appropriate team,
They need to get information and that information is locked in one particular undisclosed site, which is later revealed in this episode, is in a bank in Vienna, so they need a safecracker. Who is the best safecracker that is so unknown that they can recruit? One Ludwig Dieter. Yes, Napoleon Solo who gave birth to Ludwig, Ludwig.
Luciano (01:19:02.676)
Napoleon Solon.
Matthew Ward (01:19:05.45)
Thank
Luciano (01:19:09.372)
He gave, he gave. Okay, I see, I see.
Chris (01:19:11.173)
He gave birth, he gave birth, because this is the Schwarzenegger protocol, right? Where Solo wanted to feel what life was like inside of him, and he gave birth to Dieter.
Luciano (01:19:15.962)
I see.
Luciano (01:19:21.461)
I see.
Matt (01:19:21.511)
Chris, these episodes are five minutes. How many episodes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I just wanted to get the arc. So we've done four episodes. Matt, can you collect the other four episodes for us just so we can cap this off?
Luciano (01:19:25.439)
I was gonna say, this was like three episodes at least. Yeah.
Chris (01:19:26.894)
Are they?
Chris (01:19:30.938)
Okay.
Matthew Ward (01:19:36.064)
Bye.
No.
Luciano (01:19:40.481)
I knew it, I fucking knew it.
Matthew Ward (01:19:43.142)
I had something there, but now I'm just thinking of a pregnant Jim, Jim, like Henry Cavill. And I mean, I'm lost. I just like, like Jeff Healy, like the great Jeff Healy. I can't see it. I just can't, I can't see it. I can't see it. I'm going to say that most of this in the end, I'll just skip to the end of what it could be. I think in the end,
Chris (01:19:48.323)
Napoleon Solo, Henry Cavill.
Luciano (01:19:52.821)
Yeah.
Chris (01:19:56.015)
You're welcome. Steve Irwin.
Luciano (01:19:56.886)
That is fair.
Chris (01:20:01.595)
You didn't see that coming. You didn't see it coming.
Luciano (01:20:02.615)
my God.
Matthew Ward (01:20:12.537)
He really like these were all it was all a dream and he pulls away and you realize that he was just late because his computer was buffering. So he just couldn't quite get it to work. And that's a real problem, by the way. It happens a lot in this movie as well.
Matt (01:20:16.077)
Yeah, nice. That's exactly.
Chris (01:20:16.358)
Wazoo.
Luciano (01:20:29.43)
No.
Chris (01:20:29.841)
Mmm. Mmm.
Matt (01:20:36.815)
It does. This is an interesting segue you set up for me because we don't need to know about the guy on the boat. I think we need to focus on our friends at the Eugen. But when they were trying to track the auctioneer, they had some buffering issues. What was going on that caused those buffering issues? And why was it porn?
Luciano (01:20:55.2)
Hmm Yeah, I was gonna say I think we know why but who I think who is the question who and what yeah
Matt (01:21:01.265)
Who or what or how long? Yeah.
Chris (01:21:05.211)
is the CIA director, first and foremost. Like he's so inept at his like so incompetent when it comes to his job that all he does when he's at the office is click open fire up a private browser window thinking that it's gonna be okay.
Matthew Ward (01:21:06.94)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:21:24.344)
Do you think he, I don't think he uses incognito for this. He doesn't use incognito for this at all. You know why? Because he's lazy and he wants to type P O and have a complete Pornhub for him.
Matthew Ward (01:21:25.903)
I don't even think it's private, I think he just... Incov...
Matt (01:21:26.969)
In incognito.
Chris (01:21:27.717)
You're probably.
Chris (01:21:33.456)
Why?
Matt (01:21:38.097)
That's true. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Matthew Ward (01:21:38.745)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think.
Chris (01:21:39.98)
And then and he likes to do since he has two screens one is porn and the other one is only fans But there are receipts because of all the transactions that he he procures So he's hoping that if he blows this auction You know price tag through the roof and beyond into the stratosphere that it will dwarf his porn activity
Luciano (01:21:50.311)
I see.
Luciano (01:21:59.207)
I think it's, I think it was a combination of something that's slightly different. I think what for one, he's dumb. So he thought he was using his data plan, but he was on the base, your wifi. So that's like, he didn't expect it, but also I think he was worried about the money and he was like, fuck, I need to do some stuff on my only fans account so I can raise some money in case this app auction goes bad.
Chris (01:22:12.28)
You
Matthew Ward (01:22:13.935)
Mmm.
Matthew Ward (01:22:23.951)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:22:28.063)
So he was like using porn as an inspiration as to what he was going to do for his fans that he could sell and make up some money to exactly. Yeah, of course. That's what he was. No, not foot photos. He is only fans was all about but whole.
Chris (01:22:37.433)
for his account? As a creator? So foot photos and content!
I see. And fitting fingers in it.
Matthew Ward (01:22:48.975)
Now, I think he's still...
Luciano (01:22:50.027)
He bleaches his, he bleaches his. And so it's, it's a whole niche thing. He, he bleaches his fingers. Okay. No, I'm here for it. That's fine.
Matthew Ward (01:22:55.771)
And his fingers, yeah.
Matt (01:22:56.024)
and his fingers.
Matthew Ward (01:23:00.21)
I think he does do all this incognito though. I think he's smart enough to go incognito. But incognito for him is he just puts on some dark glasses and a mustache and then goes to town. He puts on a little mustache and things.
Luciano (01:23:05.215)
I don't think he's smart enough for that.
Chris (01:23:11.664)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:23:12.059)
instead of opening the browser, just disguises himself as the incognito. I can totally see that. He goes, I'm incognito, therefore nobody can see what I'm doing.
Chris (01:23:23.641)
No one will be able to tell.
Matthew Ward (01:23:24.761)
And in full view of everybody, right when they were all standing right there, he just... Yeah.
Luciano (01:23:28.417)
yeah, he's like, look at this, look at these idiots. I'm, I'm in disguise when they look at the browser history is going to be someone else's browser history.
Chris (01:23:28.901)
Yeah. Glass windows in the office.
Matt (01:23:30.971)
Yes.
Chris (01:23:36.579)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:23:36.589)
They don't know who I am.
Matt (01:23:38.553)
Also, his OnlyFans is just CIA, you know, director Bobby Breslin.
Chris (01:23:43.825)
Dude.
Luciano (01:23:47.351)
Yeah, his name is Bobby Brez no, no, not 69, it's Bobby Brezlin and his social security number. That's his...
Matthew Ward (01:23:48.013)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:23:54.465)
Hehehehehe
Matt (01:23:55.291)
Yeah, CIA Director Bobby Breslin, Social Security Number.
Chris (01:24:00.079)
Yes.
Luciano (01:24:00.672)
This is very unique. No one else has this username.
Matt (01:24:04.284)
His philosophy is like, no one will believe it's him and no one will look and try. No, think this all makes sense. Yeah.
Chris (01:24:04.326)
No.
Luciano (01:24:07.401)
Yeah, it's security by audacity is what it does.
Chris (01:24:07.569)
Correct. It's so out in the open.
Matthew Ward (01:24:10.553)
I like at end of his social security number he spells out 69 but with no vowels because he's trying to be clever.
Luciano (01:24:17.607)
SSN. He's SSN.
Chris (01:24:18.949)
No.
Chris (01:24:22.684)
No
Luciano (01:24:23.64)
I know he replaces the eye with the one that sort of thing. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:24:26.849)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt (01:24:27.589)
Yeah. So, okay, so great. So we found out the cause of the buffering. We elaborated on it a lot. That's okay. That's okay.
Luciano (01:24:32.192)
Right.
Chris (01:24:33.169)
That's a lot of traffic. He's a star.
Luciano (01:24:37.257)
I think it makes perfect sense, more than the rest of the movie.
Matt (01:24:40.357)
I mean, probably. last question.
Luciano (01:24:46.263)
Okay.
Matt (01:24:49.243)
safe houses. The Union. Well, I mean, maybe the union might ask that because they get they get infiltrated. They blow up their little tower thing. And then Roxy and Mike run off to a safe house. And I'm just curious because to me, it appears like that safe house is probably no longer safe. But maybe it's just a compromise. Yeah.
Chris (01:24:51.345)
Safe.
Luciano (01:24:51.817)
What are they? How do they work?
Luciano (01:25:01.301)
Right?
Luciano (01:25:13.973)
Yeah. Compromise is the word.
Chris (01:25:17.895)
Hmm
Matt (01:25:18.576)
But maybe I, know, maybe the union, I'm just curious, does the union, how does the union ensure safe houses? Because maybe they have a different way, in which case it would make it safe.
Luciano (01:25:27.233)
So I think it's the same philosophy that they have for planting gadgets and tools for their agents. So the more visible and the more accessible and known, the better. So basically what that, that, like he says, this is not really a safe house. more like a safe room, right? So that is probably in some just random hotel where they have the word safe house on top of the door so that the agents know where to go. Right? So I think that's important.
Matt (01:25:44.987)
Right.
Matt (01:25:51.645)
Mm -hmm. Right.
Luciano (01:25:56.791)
Big wall -to -wall windows must have for a safe house. Exactly. So you can see the enemies coming, right? No covered spots, no surveillance protection, none of that. Because what if you need to find your agents that are hiding? So basically what I'm saying here is that whatever makes for a good Airbnb place, that's what a safe house is for them.
Matt (01:26:01.095)
So you can see them coming. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:26:02.239)
Yeah.
Chris (01:26:03.14)
Mm
Chris (01:26:13.916)
Just a room.
Matt (01:26:16.047)
Right. Yeah.
Matt (01:26:26.321)
Do you suppose that there's a lot of high visibility marking so they can get there from like the streets? Yeah.
Luciano (01:26:32.716)
From anywhere, from, so wherever there is like a gun in a statue, there's like a fluorescent paint guiding you to the safe house. Because otherwise how are you gonna find it?
Matt (01:26:41.165)
right? Yeah. Yeah. And it says union safe house follow. Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:26:41.597)
Yeah.
Chris (01:26:43.631)
Not black light, for a lesson. Right, right, right, right. This way. Yeah. Not dotted, by the way, solid.
Luciano (01:26:47.445)
You know, it's a follow arrow. Yeah. So here's how smart they are. So they're in Britain, but they're American. So they write it in American so that the Brits can't read it.
Matt (01:26:55.749)
Right. Right. And they're going the American way down streets, not the Brit way. So Brits will be confused. They won't follow it. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's genius. Honestly. No wonder they're safe.
Chris (01:26:57.777)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:27:02.675)
Exactly. So if the breeds try to do it, they get run over by cars.
Matthew Ward (01:27:09.844)
Yeah, 100%.
Luciano (01:27:10.295)
I think given all that we've seen, just the level of competence and the depth of thought that we've seen from the agents and the leadership, think that this is the only, I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense. Just make sure that the halls are well -marked, available, know, known to everybody.
Chris (01:27:10.524)
completely.
Matt (01:27:25.797)
Listen.
Matt (01:27:31.153)
I think that makes sense. Yeah.
Chris (01:27:31.269)
Like an Airbnb or a Verbo or what have you.
Luciano (01:27:34.783)
Yeah. yeah. In times where there's not a lot of missions, they have an agent sitting in front of the house and say, if you're looking for a safe house, this is.
Matt (01:27:35.407)
Yeah, listen.
Matt (01:27:42.363)
Yeah, you can actually just rent the safe house on Airbnb. Yeah.
Chris (01:27:42.885)
Would you like to? This is how we crowdsource and generate revenue.
Matthew Ward (01:27:43.912)
Yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (01:27:45.427)
Exactly. It's marketed on Airbnb as Union safe house, naughty news now, get it well.
Matt (01:27:50.151)
safe house.
Chris (01:27:52.487)
Would you like to live and sleep like a union agent for a weekend? Come!
Matthew Ward (01:27:57.63)
Well, I think.
Luciano (01:27:57.995)
The only caveat is you're gonna have to do some blue collar job while you're staying there.
Matthew Ward (01:28:03.366)
Well, I think, yeah, I bet even like Faraday probably just called them and said, hey, I heard that your place was blown up. I've been staying at this safe house just a block down the street. You know, just come on down. I left the keys in the door and, you know.
Chris (01:28:03.419)
Yes. Clean our toilets.
Luciano (01:28:16.246)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:28:19.669)
No, and but rocks because she's smart she went not gonna go to that one because he's in that one I'm gonna go to the one next door
Chris (01:28:20.005)
Yes, just jiggle it.
Matthew Ward (01:28:26.373)
Yeah.
Matt (01:28:29.521)
This all makes sense. actually think it's a great recruitment tool, like you said. You can come stay at the Union safe house, check out the Union, see what it's all about, see if you want to join up. If not, fine, go home, tell your friends. Yeah, whatever, it's all good. There's nothing secret here. Yeah.
Luciano (01:28:38.903)
find some hidden guns, some hidden gadgets.
Matthew Ward (01:28:41.68)
You see?
Chris (01:28:43.761)
And it's reputable. Right. It's reputable and supported by Airbnb. So it's readily available and accessible to people.
Luciano (01:28:47.491)
I'm telling you, it's security and safety by audacity. So they do it.
Matt (01:28:51.739)
Mm.
Right. The podcast editing software?
Luciano (01:28:59.287)
Yes, yes that audacity.
Chris (01:28:59.783)
Also sponsored.
Matt (01:29:02.641)
We're going to segue off of that to the end of this podcast. Let's review this movie. If you want to, you could give it an S. That is the highest tier of our rating system. If you didn't think it was quite an S, there are many letters cascading all the way down to F. It may stand for fail. Let's up to you. That's your choice. We're all going to give our rating and a slight justification that might be related to the six plot holes. Might not be. I don't want to speak for everybody.
Chris (01:29:13.639)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:29:31.434)
Hahaha
Matt (01:29:33.243)
But let's start with other matte.
Matthew Ward (01:29:38.372)
don't feel like there's...
Matthew Ward (01:29:47.097)
You know, I want to say that it was a good use of my time.
Luciano (01:29:55.127)
Hahaha!
Matthew Ward (01:29:58.227)
I feel like I didn't learn very much about the blue -collar lifestyle, which I think was a loss. Because I really think they wanted to teach me something about how a union functions. And they didn't. I think they wanted to teach me about how espionage and they didn't.
Matt (01:30:05.2)
Right.
Chris (01:30:16.534)
Hehehehehe
Luciano (01:30:17.227)
Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:30:26.072)
Yeah.
Matthew Ward (01:30:27.117)
I feel like they really wanted to teach me about what a good movie is and they didn't. So I just, I want to give it an F.
Matt (01:30:35.271)
What?
Luciano (01:30:39.841)
So wait, what are you saying here, Matt?
Chris (01:30:43.943)
Class for me! What?
Matthew Ward (01:30:44.399)
I want to say that this was a thing I saw and very much like the great Jeff Healy I wish I could unsee it or not see it or never see it or just have no eyes.
Chris (01:30:57.777)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:30:58.165)
No? Yeah. I was going to say, don't think Jeff really could see anything,
Matthew Ward (01:31:03.265)
He could hear it. could. Jeff Healy. Yes. But I feel like even Jeff Healy would hear it and just be offended ear -wise. I think it would offend the ears as well. So I want to give it an F. I did not enjoy this movie at all.
Matt (01:31:03.557)
You wanna be Jeff Healy. You wish you were Jeff Healy for two hours.
Luciano (01:31:07.649)
Ha ha!
Luciano (01:31:13.985)
Probably, probably. I think that's right thing to say.
Chris (01:31:15.548)
Hmm.
Matt (01:31:21.627)
Just to be clear, you say you want to give it enough. You're in control. So you are going to give it enough?
Luciano (01:31:27.253)
Yeah, you're allowed to have your own.
Matthew Ward (01:31:30.577)
Yeah, you know what, let's just go ahead and give it an F. I mean, let's just put it this way. At the end of this film, I had to watch Planet of the Apes to cleanse the palette. And I don't mean the good Planet of the Apes that had Gary Oldman in it. Yes, I went right back to see a time when Mark Wahlberg was at his greatest and to just cleanse the palette a little, you know? And then, you know, just...
Chris (01:31:43.175)
Which one?
Matt (01:31:44.711)
Charlton.
Luciano (01:31:51.339)
Was in a decent movie. Right, right.
Matthew Ward (01:32:00.225)
Just never ever watch a movie again. I've been ruined. I just want to point out.
Matt (01:32:05.361)
Great. Well, thanks. for the last episode of the podcast with us. really appreciate it. Chris.
Luciano (01:32:05.493)
Wow, okay.
Matthew Ward (01:32:08.427)
Yeah, yeah. End it all after this.
Luciano (01:32:08.945)
hahahaha
Chris (01:32:11.781)
Yes, sir.
Matt (01:32:14.791)
How scarred are you?
Chris (01:32:17.703)
pretty scarred enough of the dilly -dallying my rating is E because the only enjoyable aspect of this movie were the callback photos of when Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry actually met and took photos with each other I appreciate that even though it's supposed to be in context of their you know their teenage love and stuff like that I that was cute and I appreciated that that is all that's the only reason you should
fast forward through this movie at maybe two and a half speed and then get to the end.
Luciano (01:32:52.247)
So what you're saying is the best part of this movie is the credits.
Chris (01:32:56.685)
Yeah, the photo is in the credits. The photos. Yeah.
Luciano (01:32:58.633)
Okay. High praise.
Matt (01:32:58.919)
Strong high praise. We're to put that on the box. Credits were awesome. Chris Miller.
Chris (01:33:05.381)
They were like worth the, worth the admission, the price of admission. Yes, it did. It did. It really did. And I don't always get to say that. And honestly, I want to see them make another movie so we can come back and do something like this again. I want them to give, this is content for us. I want them to do it. They're gonna. Yes. The Faraday Box.
Matthew Ward (01:33:09.547)
It ended.
Luciano (01:33:12.588)
Yeah
Matt (01:33:23.707)
Don't worry. No, no, it's fine. Chris?
Matthew Ward (01:33:25.707)
Faraday the return.
Luciano (01:33:26.901)
No, there's such a thing as too much content.
Matt (01:33:32.039)
Chris? Chris? They made it, it's called Borderlands. We'll get to it when it comes to streaming. Don't worry.
Luciano (01:33:37.107)
no, yes. Yeah, boy. boy. boy.
Matthew Ward (01:33:40.011)
Chris (01:33:40.551)
Let us cook. Let us cook.
Matt (01:33:40.592)
It's on the way.
In the meantime, Luciano, please give us your rating.
Luciano (01:33:47.1)
So I'm gonna give our listeners, all one of them, a little bit of a glimpse as to like how we do this. So we were talking about this movie, obviously, before we started the show to kind of get our, you know, align our thoughts and all that stuff. And I came in with like thinking of like, no, this is an E, but then every time you guys...
Chris (01:34:05.287)
juice is flowing.
Luciano (01:34:14.845)
One of you guys said, what about this and what about that? And like three and four other things where I was like, fuck, that's right. That doesn't make any fucking sense. And as we discussed it here, as we went through this episode, my rating tanked. So I am also going to give it an F because this movie fails in almost like, I was like, this is not as bad as Madam Webb. This is not as bad as Morbius.
But it's close enough. It's close enough that it does. And it wanted to be this like, look, it's such a funny and interesting. No, it's not funny. It's not interesting. It's just shit. The acting, even with great actors was horrendous. one of the first things bothered me was like, J .K. Simmons being extra Jake and Simmons knee and going like, I am a blue collar worker. I'm like, bro, what? No, what are you doing? So yeah, I wish I
Matthew Ward (01:35:13.468)
I like this.
Luciano (01:35:15.285)
I wish I could have my two hours back. I wish I didn't know that Marky Mark couldn't even do his own fucking accent. I wish I didn't know that Halle Berry could act so badly and unemotionally like she was having some sort of constipation issue the whole movie instead of emoting. Yeah, I hate it. I yeah, that's it. The only good thing about this movie was being able to talk about it with you guys. That's it.
Chris (01:35:42.373)
Yay!
Matthew Ward (01:35:43.16)
It's kind of sweet actually.
Matt (01:35:43.783)
Good job. You know, I'm gonna shit on that real quick. Just, just like, it's fine. It's fine talking about it. No, I just want to give my rating for this. It's an F. It's really simple. think Matt already covered it. Just go watch Mission Impossible 1. does everything this movie tries to do way better. And it was made like fucking what? 20, 30 years ago? 20 years ago?
Chris (01:35:46.533)
You know.
Heartwarming.
Luciano (01:35:51.223)
I hate it talking about it with you guys, fuck you!
Luciano (01:36:03.25)
Hahaha
Matthew Ward (01:36:03.612)
Thanks.
Luciano (01:36:07.137)
Yeah.
20 years ago, yeah, 2001, right? Isn't it?
Chris (01:36:10.587)
Damn. The disrespect. Do it.
Matthew Ward (01:36:12.924)
Yeah, Christmas is so much better.
Matt (01:36:13.231)
Yeah. And the other thing I would add to the point that this is enough, we sometimes here like to look at Rotten Tomatoes and see what the public thinks and what the critics think. And almost invariably, the critics shit on a movie and the public's like, no, it wasn't that bad because of XYZ. Well, not for the union, my friends. The critics have more respect for the union than the public does.
Luciano (01:36:26.666)
Right.
Luciano (01:36:35.477)
Yeah, we find some stinkers sometimes, yeah.
Luciano (01:36:40.983)
Yeah, I was surprised too. It's like 29 %?
Matt (01:36:42.951)
The public, it's currently it is 36 % for the critics and 26 % for the public.
Luciano (01:36:49.303)
26. As a reminder, I think Madam Webb was 11%, I want to say. And like Morbius was 9%.
Matt (01:36:57.639)
I mean, what's the guy?
Let's take a little look here. 11 % for the critics and 57 % for the audience on bottom web. Why would I, how could I make that up?
Chris (01:37:03.589)
Morbin.
Luciano (01:37:10.429)
I - Are you fucking kidding me?
my God. This is why the whole idea, know, that popular opinions are worth anything. if you need any more proof that that's bullshit, just look at that.
Chris (01:37:16.167)
That's... That's bold.
Matt (01:37:29.703)
have other proof. Morbius 15 % critics, 71 % audience. Whatever.
Luciano (01:37:36.594)
Fuck off. This is ironic. It has to be.
Matthew Ward (01:37:39.494)
Okay, no, no, hold on. Morbius, at least, I laughed a lot. At its expense. But it was so bad, it was entertaining. Like that dance scene with Matt Smith, just, I cannot get that out of my head.
Matt (01:37:45.403)
That's fair.
Luciano (01:37:47.211)
Yeah.
Matt (01:37:49.167)
Yeah. Yes. A hundred percent.
Chris (01:37:49.697)
Mm -hmm Matt Smith
Luciano (01:37:58.366)
Ha ha!
Matt (01:37:58.575)
Anyways, so that's why this movie is enough, because no one likes it, not even the audience. There's no irony, there's no nothing, it's just bad. But good news, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna shift gears, we're gonna go and ruin your childhood, probably. We're gonna watch, I'm not gonna say the JK Rowling vehicle, because no one will like that.
Luciano (01:38:02.487)
Fair enough.
Chris (01:38:08.401)
You're welcome.
Chris (01:38:16.921)
It's coming.
Luciano (01:38:23.511)
Yeah, if you say it like that, I'm not gonna watch it
Chris (01:38:24.667)
The Rupert Grint? The Rupert Grint vehicle?
Matt (01:38:28.219)
Sure, the Rupert Grin vehicle.
Luciano (01:38:30.591)
Robert Pattinson vehicle. that's fine. That's true. Fuck.
Matt (01:38:32.891)
He's not in this movie, my friend.
Chris (01:38:35.409)
Cedric Diggory. My boy!
Matt (01:38:37.703)
Hey man, we'll get there. We're watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone if you're As a tribute to... If you're from the Union. If, as a tribute to going back to school. So please join us next week when we watch a movie that can't possibly be as bad as this one.
Chris (01:38:46.887)
you
Luciano (01:38:48.03)
If you're from the Union, it's Sorcerer's Stone.
Luciano (01:38:54.038)
Yep.
Luciano (01:39:01.044)
No, even
Matthew Ward (01:39:01.569)
the Dion Warrick vehicle.
Chris (01:39:05.735)
Dionne Warwick was in Harry Potter?
Matthew Ward (01:39:07.383)
Yeah, he's one of the Gringotts guys, know, the Jewish people. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone there.
Matt (01:39:11.269)
I'm sorry.
Chris (01:39:12.177)
Dion Warwick? No, Warwick Davis. Dion Warwick, you are the greatest of all time. Yes, come and join us for the Dion Warwick, ain't no mountain high enough. Walk on by motherfucker's vehicle.
Luciano (01:39:13.175)
no, I have not given you permission, sir! As the resident...
Matt (01:39:17.287)
Holy shit!
Luciano (01:39:27.307)
Listen, listen, as the resident goblin, I have not given you permission to talk about my people this way.
Chris (01:39:37.691)
What is Dionne Warwick in Italian?
Matt (01:39:37.691)
He wasn't talking about your people. He was talking about...
Luciano (01:39:42.815)
I see.
Matthew Ward (01:39:44.126)
Ugh. Ugh.
Chris (01:39:45.893)
You know, that's what the fan