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The New Mom Podcast is a Christian motherhood podcast for women navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood.
Whether you're a first-time mom, expecting, or in the middle of sleepless nights, this show offers real, honest conversations about motherhood, marriage, identity, and faith. We talk about birth stories, postpartum recovery, relationships, mental health, and trusting God through every stage of motherhood. If you're looking for encouragement, practical advice, and a reminder that you're not alone—this podcast is for you.
Our prayer is that New Mom leaves you feeling seen, strengthened, and a little more equipped for the beautiful calling of motherhood!
New episodes weekly.
Hello, and welcome back to New Mom. In today's episode, I sat down with my friend Becca McCollough. She's back on the podcast. This time, we got to hear her home birth story. It's a really beautiful story, and I think for any woman who is considering a home birth or who has had one in the past, this is a really positive home birth, story experience.
Carrie:I myself had a hospital birth, so I was not super familiar with this world. But we talk a lot about how to encourage each other as women and how to encourage our friends that choose to have a different birth experience. So I think it was a really honoring conversation on both sides of it, the hospital births, the home births, all of it. And I think you'll find Becca to be, really gracious and informative. So I hope you ladies enjoyed the episode.
Carrie:Becca, you're back.
Becca:I'm back. I'm
Carrie:so happy to meet you. Thanks. Thanks for, thanks for joining us again. I wanna just give a little heads up that our boys are both asleep about one wall away on both directions. So if we talk a little quiet or if we get interrupted like last time, it's all part of it.
Carrie:It's okay. Yeah. But it might happen. Also, if you guys haven't listened to Becca's first episode, I think it's called Tongue Ties, Pregnancy Buddies, Praying for Your Baby. It's one of my first episodes.
Carrie:Go back and give it a listen. She is a wonderful friend and an occupational therapist and honestly just someone that I do life with. So welcome back.
Becca:Thanks, Carrie. Good morning. Good Yeah,
Carrie:I'm happy. We've got our coffees and teas and we're I ready to wanna dive into it in case the boys wake up, let's be real here.
Becca:Let's do it.
Carrie:So we're talking birth stories today, specifically home birth stories. And I wanna preface and you might have things to say about this too, but I had a hospital birth, Becca had a home birth, I got an epidural, you certainly did not. And we have completely different experiences and I think we our friendship was really I think it highlighted I think we we did a really good job of just like supporting each other and supporting each other those those different decisions and the different ways that we felt like the Lord was leading us to have our babies. And this can be a divisive topic, especially in the Christian community. And I think a lot of women feel really strongly one way or another, which is okay.
Carrie:But I think it's really just about just encouraging your friend and supporting your friend who maybe has has a different way that they're that they're planning to do it. So I wanted to have you on because you're I think you have a really positive home birth story. And I I pray that it would encourage women who maybe feel called or maybe feel like it's something they wanna consider. I think you're a great, I wanna say spokesperson for it, but I think your testimony is really cool. So thanks for sharing it.
Becca:Absolutely. Yeah. And I think to whoever is listening, whatever side you're on, I think I think it would be just great to listen and and be encouraged by Yeah. What wherever you feel like God is calling you. I think, like you said, it is a divisive topic, but it everybody has their own unique story.
Becca:Totally.
Carrie:And I
Becca:feel like We both had great ones. So We did.
Carrie:And I was just gonna say, I think it's more less about home birth or hospital birth and more about what is like, how do I invite God into my Mhmm. My birth story? And what is God leading me to? And how does this not just become something that's separate from the Lord, but how do we include it? Yeah.
Carrie:Because I I feel like he Connor and I felt like he was such a part of our day with having him, a huge part. And so I really think regardless. Yeah.
Becca:I think so too.
Carrie:So I think let's start with how did you when did you decide that you were gonna consider home birth? And how did that come about?
Becca:Sure.
Carrie:This is so fun. I don't know all of this. I'm super excited. I can picture
Becca:Charles, my husband laughing already, like as we begin this story, because we probably tell it differently at the beginning. I, you know, I think I'd worked in the hospital a long time and I just didn't envision wanting to have a baby in the hospital for no particular reason. Like, love the hospital system, think it's great. I just had this sense that maybe like we do a birth center or something like that. When we got pregnant, we I had really, like, started doing some research, thought maybe, like, we could do a birth center.
Becca:There weren't really around any around us in Santa Monica.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Becca:And so I had talked to a few midwives, a few doulas, just to kind of pick their brain on, like, yeah, how how can you like, how do you invite God into this no matter what it looks like? And I remember, it's a really sweet, doula sister combo here. They they live in the valley, and they, you know, were like, Becca, if this is something even on your heart, like, lean into that. Like, the holy spirit is speaking and, like, you should pray about this if this is there's even an inkling that like you feel like this is something you wanna be pulled towards. And then I got on a call with, a midwife who's actually, one of the pastors at our church's wife.
Becca:Mickey. Yeah. Mickey. Yeah. Shout out, Mickey.
Carrie:We love you.
Becca:And really just went on to talk to her about, I think, just maybe being our doula. And then the whole convo turned into like, oh, yeah. So now we're gonna do a home birth. Wow. And I I was doing the call and Charles, I like popped in at the end.
Becca:I didn't Did
Carrie:you know this was happening?
Becca:No. Because I also didn't know what was happening. I didn't anticipate this was gonna be like a let's have a let's be convinced on a home birth call. Oh my gosh. And, so when I put Charles on the call, he was just like, oh, what?
Carrie:Oh, what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wait. What what did you say?
Becca:And it took it it did take him a while to come around because of that. I think it was not something maybe that he had pictured. It really wasn't something I pictured either, which is why I felt this, like I think whoever's listening, like, really just, like, go with what you feel in your heart because I I had no reason. I didn't know a single person who had a home birth except her. I, like, I didn't know anybody who had done it before.
Becca:And so I felt like it was really this calling from God of, like, this is something, like, you should lean into. And I felt very strongly about that. And so it's something that I kind of started praying through from the get go.
Carrie:Wow. Okay. So this was once you're pregnant with Felix that you started
Becca:thinking months in when we started like, we had our first appointment at at the hospital and everything. And Oh,
Carrie:that's right.
Becca:Yeah. We did. We had our first one, saw the ultrasound, and and then kind of started exploring options from there. And it just felt yeah. I felt really just excited and at peace, like a peace that I really had no business feeling.
Becca:Was just
Carrie:gonna say. From from my perspective and this is maybe, like, a really silly question, but did you have like, one of one of the things and I'm I have a fairly high pain tolerance. I'm not like a total wimp, I've just always with childbirth, I've always been like, I don't know why. Just since I was like little, I'm just like, to the epidural. Yes to like, you know, I know there'll be enough pain.
Carrie:Just like it sounds so silly, but were you at all afraid of whatever level of pain might come with knowing that's not an option? Because it's like even if I went into home into hospital birth being like, I'll try without. I know I have the option. Yeah. Did did you even process that or you
Becca:just think I knew myself and I knew that if I had the option then that I would cave. I I don't wanna word it that way because having like, it's not it's not like you're failing at anything or you got defeated by your home by your birth story, whatever. That's not really what I mean. But it's funny you asked that because it reminded me actually of the maybe a little seed that God had planted, maybe, like, two months before. I was at some networking event, in in the health and wellness space, and I'd actually met a few, midwives.
Becca:And, again, really wasn't familiar at all because this was before I even knew I was pregnant. And
Carrie:I was like, oh, yeah.
Becca:Like, I I think I'd wanna do like a birth center or something, but I wouldn't wanna do a home birth because, like, I don't wanna, like, look at that place in our room every day or house every day and, like, think about, like, that's so traumatic. And this lady looked at me in the eye and she was like, how do you know that it's gonna be traumatic back then? I'm like, have tear in my eye because I actually don't think I forget this part of the story because it was so much bad, of time. But she was like, this could be the most cathartic, beautiful, restorative thing that you've ever experienced. And I was just like, yeah.
Becca:Okay.
Carrie:Well, have a nice day. Yeah. Whatever.
Becca:And that that was that. So it was honestly asking that now. Maybe that was the that was really yeah. It really was spoken over me. And, I do.
Becca:I look back at the exact spot that he was born every single day. Me and Felix look at it together like this is where you were born, buddy.
Carrie:Thank you. Thank you, Lord. Oh my gosh. That's so cool. So walk us through pregnancy because I know, like you said, you and Charles, a little bit of a different page with it at first.
Carrie:By the end, he was incredibly supportive and you guys were so united on it. Yeah. What did that look like to invite him into that that process for you guys? Because I know that's something I was praying about too. You're like Sure.
Carrie:If we're gonna do this, we need to be a team on it. Please pray. Yes. That we would both feel so good and you did by the end. Yeah.
Becca:Yeah. It was a lot it was a lot of prayer and I think I just felt so it wasn't even like I felt so stubborn or headstrong about it. It was I just felt this peace that
Carrie:this was
Becca:the way I felt certain. Mhmm. And so I I knew that that might just take time. Like Charles is one of those people that always rises to the occasion and he comes around. And I think because this is something that God had really spoken to me, I knew that he would He would.
Becca:He would. He would give him the peace and the clarity. And I think with a home birth, like we're saying, it's not for everybody. I think we prayed the whole time. Midwifery care is their job is to like be a detective to determine, are you still a candidate for this?
Becca:Are you still a candidate for this? Yes, No that's diabetes, no weird blood work, no, you know, the baby's not too big. The baby's not too small, no risks. And so for him, it was just that affirmation over time. We had really great midwives, and they were really supportive not only, like, throughout the pregnancy, but really, like, holistically, like, to our to our marriage.
Becca:And and they were really, like, making sure that we were a team the whole time, and that was, like, a check-in that they had every month. She would come to our house for our appointments.
Carrie:So cool.
Becca:And so it was just, like, little by little, God was chipping away and, like, preparing us both for come and like be united on that together.
Carrie:I was gonna say something that Connor and I talk about a lot having, you know, a different experience with it. But I think for men, the nine months is just as important as for the women. And we really saw that because I think people say, you know, when a mom sees a positive pregnancy test, she's a mother and often a husband feels like a father when he holds their child and you know, it's just different. We're growing them, we feel them, know, we're connected. And I noticed that it's funny that you say Charles, it's like the Lord over time.
Carrie:By the time it was time to rise to the occasion Mhmm. The Lord had brought him there. Totally. I so felt that with Connor too. It just in a in a way of just preparing to be a father.
Carrie:There was a lot of like, we were trying, you know, but there's a lot of, oh crap, okay, we're gonna be parents. And I think I had that a little bit, but women are just it is just different. You're growing the baby and you already feel that connection. And then nine months, that was the first time that I realized not only is there so much intentionality in the nine months, obviously God made us and it's all very intentional, but I was like, oh, not just for women, but for my husband. I am seeing it one month at a time get closer and closer to the point where when we first went to our first OB appointments and talked about having a baby, he was very much like, oh my gosh, that's gonna be so freaky and there's gonna be a baby and there's gonna be blood, you know?
Carrie:And then by the end, it's like that was such a moment in the delivery room of being like, oh my gosh, like my husband and I, he's as ready as I am. Mhmm. We're such a team on this. He's so loving, supportive, respectful, not freaked out, you know. Because I think at the beginning, it's different for the guy.
Carrie:They're like, what are we walking into? Especially with your first.
Becca:Oh my gosh.
Carrie:Obviously. And so I I think it's cool because I feel like we got to see that with you guys, you and Charles from when you first found out and you're like, we might be doing this home birth. And by the end, it's just another example of of God's timing and of the nine month gestation period. Just being so intentional to the point where by the time you guys were about to do it, it was like, let's do this and you guys were so ready. And I feel like we were too.
Carrie:And also just in the sense of your heart being prepared to be parents that nine months is like really, really intentional.
Becca:It is. I feel like people can think of it as just, oh, yeah. Like, you do all those things. Like, go out on all your date nights. Have all your fun.
Becca:You're never gonna have it again, which number one can get into that another episode. I don't think that's true. Yeah. But number two, it really is like a time that you should be just, like, in prayer more than ever. Really intentional.
Carrie:So Absolutely.
Becca:And we got to see the fruit of that, which is really cool.
Carrie:Oh my gosh. Yeah. For sure.
Becca:Yeah.
Carrie:So share the story. I wanna hear because we talked about your pregnancy a little bit in the last episode, but you had I think you had a very smooth pregnancy. I don't know if you wanna speak to that at all, but like you were a great candidate for home birth.
Becca:Yes.
Carrie:You were feeling great. And yeah. Start the story. I'm I'm psyched to hear it.
Becca:Yeah. One more thing I will say, if for anyone listening that want if you're pregnant at all, matter where you wanna Mhmm. Have your birth, I think it's so important to listen to these positive stories because it really just
Carrie:Yes.
Becca:Getting spoken these positive stories over you. I deleted Instagram. And I only was I was doing, like, this Christian hypnobirthing app and I was listening to these tracks just like of scripture over me every single night, probably through the second trimester on. Every single night before I fell asleep or falling asleep to it. And then really just watching positive birth videos.
Becca:And I think it's so powerful to just intake that
Carrie:Be in the right
Becca:head space. Head space and really believe that, like, God can give you whatever wherever it is, whatever it looks like, a really an encounter with him through through birth. Yeah. I was, forty weeks and two days, and I think, you know, it's your first. You don't really know what to expect.
Becca:You don't know what know, like, is this a contraction? Is this just gas? You think you don't know anything? Yes. And, I guess I was, like, trying to just be a little bit in denial in case it was gonna go on another week or something.
Becca:So I had contractions.
Carrie:Had you had Braxton Hicks before? I had
Becca:Braxton Hicks. Yes. They were really painful. It started they started to feel different two nights before he was born. I woke up the next morning, they stopped.
Becca:And so I just carried on with my day. My midwife was like, could go on another week. I was like, okay. So I went to yoga. I walked 15,000 steps.
Becca:I baked a loaf of sourdough. And I was like, cool. I'm meal prepped. I was just like, little do I know, isn't that like what women do? Like they just like get this burst of energy and they do their final love it.
Becca:I was coughing it all all up. But, I didn't realize that I was doing that at the time. I was like, it's fine. I've got energy. I'm doing
Carrie:it all.
Becca:I'm gonna
Carrie:beat that start. Yeah.
Becca:And then went to bed that night. Still no contractions. Had them not at all throughout the day. Woke up in the middle of the night, probably like four or five, started having contractions. They were painful.
Carrie:Okay.
Becca:At this point, I was like, again, could be I mean, maybe like forty eight hours. Who knows? So I'm not gonna wake Charles. Like, he needs sleep. So I'm just gonna breathe through these because I had already practiced my the breath work that I had Were
Carrie:you just laying in bed breathing through? Did you
Becca:get up? No. I did not get up. I was like, I probably should like sleep in between At that point, I think they were kind of coming on like every few minutes and they were blasting for a minute. So I was like, this might be something.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Becca:So, I labored like that by myself in and out of sleep for two minutes at a time, contraction for a minute, sleep for three, contraction, whatever it was for probably like four hours. And then Charles woke up and I was like, I think some things are happening. And we should, you know, let the team know. I'd already texted our midwives and they're like, just keep us updated.
Carrie:So they were already in the loop early They were already in
Becca:labor was starting.
Carrie:Okay. Great. Because that's a question I have. Somebody who hasn't
Becca:had a
Carrie:home birth is how to how do you keep in contact with them? How do you know they're gonna make it? How do you
Becca:I started timing them on the phone. Mhmm. Yeah. That was a concern. The making it was a concern because I did accelerate it a lot more than I thought.
Becca:Again, I'm here thinking, oh, it's your first one. It's gonna be seventeen hours, whatever it is. And Charles woke up at, like, 09:30, and I was going through the contractions. And then I felt this, like, urge throw up. So I leaned over the bed, threw up on the floor, and heard a pop at the same time, which was my water breaking.
Becca:Oh my there's like fluid, blood, throw up. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. We got a boy in the room.
Carrie:You got He seem seemed water on a break. Break as It's well. Not good.
Becca:Yeah. There's there's fluids all over the floor. I'm on all fours going through another contraction. Charles is laughing taking photos at me. It was the last moment I opened my eyes for the next five hours and the last moment that I think I smiled.
Becca:But it was this very it was so sacred. Like, he took a photo. So I was like, we have this photo and blatant in mood. I love it. He is.
Becca:Was like, is hilarious. I'm like, you don't understand. He's literally like, get up. I have to clean the floor. I'm like, you don't understand.
Becca:Like, I'm having active contractions. I can't move. He's literally like, clean up on Aisle 7. Like was absolutely losing it by the mess and I was like, this is is go time. So I stand up to go to the bathroom and my contractions go from a minute every three minutes to every forty five seconds.
Carrie:Oh my word. Okay. So it's coming fast
Becca:It's at this coming fast at this point. And he was born on June 19, which is a holiday. And our midwives are coming from the South Bay. So it was and then it was in the morning. So Okay.
Becca:At that point, it was like 10AM and Charles called the midwives and we're like, okay, they're forty five seconds apart now. Mhmm. And the midwives were like calling back up. They're like, we don't know if we're gonna make it. Like they were like, okay, please lay down.
Becca:We don't wanna have to teach Charles how to do this over the phone. Yes. I'm like Okay.
Carrie:So question. Question. Were you freaking out in that moment?
Becca:Because I No. I was just I was locked in. I literally closed my my eyes did not open. My eyes did not open until he was born. After that moment, I'm not kidding.
Becca:My water broke.
Carrie:I drove of on the the just just the all of it.
Becca:All. I just I just went into another dimension. Wow. And I just was breathing. I thought maybe I'd be like speaking those, like, the scripture and stuff over me or like we have them playing.
Becca:But the entire day for probably, like, twelve hours, we had the blessing playing in the background.
Carrie:That's what he
Becca:was born to. It's what we sing to him now before bed. That was just on on repeat, and I was just breathing in and breathing out. Yeah. They got there, like, almost an hour later.
Becca:My doula cat lit there a little bit early, and she was amazing. So she was helping me with, like, some of the counter pressure on my back. I was laying on my side in bed Mhmm. And, like, pushing up against the wall with my hand, just, like, breathing. Yeah.
Becca:Was, like, yelling at char in between, like, twenty second contractions. I'm, set up the tub. No. Come help me. No.
Becca:Set up the tub. No. Come help me. So it was all happening so fast.
Carrie:So you're doing a water birth?
Becca:Doing water birth. Yes. Okay. I I think I was very I just feel relaxed in water, and I was so adamant on that happening. And so I was like, if this is happening fast and they're not gonna get here, like, need to make sure you fill up the tub.
Becca:But it was like, was not he was just like, what do you want me to do?
Carrie:Oh my gosh. Poor Charles.
Becca:That's a lot. So when the doula got there, it was it was helpful. Because she was able to do the support and
Carrie:do that.
Becca:Yeah. Midwives got there, checked baby's heart rate, everything was fine. I was doing great. And I yeah. I it really wasn't long, and I kind of already started to feel like the urge to push, like, lot of pressure.
Becca:Mhmm. And so I think what I loved about my experience and, what I love telling everyone is that the midwives were so, hands off, which I did not experience I I did not expect. I didn't really know what to expect at all, but they sat in the other room until I was, like, ready to push. They, like, sat. It was silent.
Becca:I don't even think I heard maybe they were talking and
Carrie:I was
Becca:just on another planet. But there really wasn't a lot of combo going on. They were not, like, checking me, like, dilation or anything. They were just taking the babies hearted. Respectfully.
Becca:They took my blood pressure every few times and it was quiet and and I wouldn't probably wouldn't say peaceful. Charles wouldn't say peaceful.
Carrie:My blesses. Yeah.
Becca:But really wasn't like a chaotic environment, which was just really neat looking back on it. So he had to, like, hoist me out of bed, probably like 12:30. Hoist me out of bed, help me into the tub. And then, yeah, he was born at, like, January. Yep.
Becca:So by the time I got in the tub, I was like, okay. I this is this is where I thought that I was in pain. This is like Yeah. Another Well, beyond pain, it was just like, okay, there's more expanding that has to happen here in my body, and I need to lay into that. I felt myself, like, tense up a few times.
Becca:And Charles was very encouraging. He was praying over me, and the midwives were very encouraging, but also just, like, very quiet, and it allowed me to really, like, go there for myself. So I probably pushed for, like, thirty, forty five minutes. And on that, the last two pushes, like, heard the midwives whisper, like, maybe, like, okay. Like, it's it's probably that beat might come soon.
Becca:And I literally saw a flash of light, and I heard the voice of God say, are you ready to meet your son? For those of you who didn't listen to the one before, Carrie and I bonded over the fact that we didn't know the gender of her babies.
Carrie:She didn't know.
Becca:Was It didn't know. Felix was coming. So I, you know, I was like, am I as am I hallucinating? You know, you're you're having this moment. You're just like, I'm just out
Carrie:of baby. You're out of it anyway. You're so much pain. You're just like
Becca:Is that was that even a moment? And we have a video of it, and that's the first thing that came out of my mouth when he was born. Was like, God literally just said like, are you ready to meet your son? So I'm like, yes, I know what happened.
Carrie:Oh, I got the chills.
Becca:Yeah. So it I pushed two pushes later. He came out and Charles helped pull him out. So from from a full circle story of not wanting a home birth to him helping bring Felix out. He was like, it's a boy.
Becca:I was like, I know. God told me. He just told me. He just told me five seconds ago. Just got
Carrie:a call about this. Wow. Oh my gosh. And
Becca:that's that's our story.
Carrie:And then okay. So incredible. What was it like right after? Because I think that's something that really is appealing to me about about the home birth experience is that you're just sending me selfies from bed announcing his birth. And I'm like, that looks really nice.
Carrie:Like, was it how quickly how long do the midwives stay? What's the what's the tone once he's born? How does all of that work?
Becca:Yeah. It was wonderful. They make sure he's all good. They make sure I'm good and bleeding is, you know, under control and everything. And then when I was and then you have to, you know, the the placenta, all that stuff.
Carrie:Oh, yeah. That's true.
Becca:Maybe graphic episode. Sorry, ladies.
Carrie:Hey. You know, they're clicking home birth, you know, kind of signing up
Becca:for it. You birth the placenta and then, you and then and then Honor with a poo. And then you, yeah. Kind of like whenever I was ready to get out the tub. They helped me back to bed.
Becca:Gotcha. Checked to make sure I didn't need any stitches, didn't need any. Mhmm. And then I'm just laying in bed with my baby, who didn't have a name for a few days. But yes.
Becca:So we're just we're laying there. We're basking in the We're yeah. We have our little baby boy and the midwife stay for a few hours just to make sure everything's kinda stable, make sure we feel comfortable and, kinda help make sure he's he's latching and everything. And then, they just leave us to to go to bed, which if they're like, get some rest. I know you're not gonna wanna get rest and your adrenaline's running, but, like, get some rest.
Becca:And, of course, we didn't. I think we slept like one hour that night.
Carrie:Probably just staring at the baby.
Becca:Every We ability to. There was nobody coming in and out, like, a hospital.
Carrie:We could
Becca:really fall asleep if we wanted
Carrie:Maybe that's a good thing to hear. It's like whether you're in the hospital or not, that for you're just it's a feeling unlike any other It is. Thing I've ever experienced.
Becca:You're just you're just yeah.
Carrie:You're not on a You're much on a high and Yeah.
Becca:Just had this insane beautiful spiritual experience and, like, yeah, god feels so near and you're just praising and praying and
Carrie:looking at
Becca:the baby and
Carrie:Yes. There's something so like, those moments in life where you know you're living in a milestone moment or you know you're living in a moment you're gonna remember forever Mhmm. Is such a specific feeling.
Becca:It is.
Carrie:And to be like, I'm living in this. I just met, Like, I'm holding my child. I'm all like, this child's here forever. I'm I'm always gonna know, like, this moment's your first hour with them. It's your first day with them.
Carrie:It's incredible.
Becca:Yeah. They're fresh. Already feels so far away.
Carrie:It's just crazy. Only been
Becca:seven months almost. Yeah.
Carrie:It's crazy. And
Becca:Mhmm.
Carrie:Thank you for sharing that. Absolutely. I hope that I mean, it's just such a great it's a great home birth story. And I feel like the way that you and Charles came together and also just you had a really safe
Becca:Mhmm.
Carrie:Peaceful experience. And the Lord met you in it in that moment. And I love I love that. Be like, I knew I was gonna have a boy, you know, five seconds before, whatever it was. Yeah.
Carrie:So cool. That
Becca:was really sweet. And I do yeah. I think that it it was a beautiful celebration to see, like, all the work that got it done on both of us, like, in those nine months to prepare, especially on Charles, like, who rose to the occasion. For anyone listening, wondering if their husband is gonna be what their husband's gonna be like during birth, whether it's in the hospital or not.
Carrie:They rise to the occasion.
Becca:They rise.
Carrie:They do. You see the best in your spouse
Becca:in that. Do. You fall in love with them all over again. And it's true. It's such a powerful thing for your marriage too.
Carrie:It is. So I think it's it's one of the my favorite days of our marriage is is the day that we welcomed Archie for sure. So are you kidding me? I've never felt more like a unit in my my life and more loved in like the craziest of circumstances where like, don't feel cute. I don't feel sexy.
Carrie:Don't feel nice. I feel
Becca:exposed, vulnerable,
Carrie:dirty. And yet I've never felt more loved. It's it's the best. So something else that I've always wondered with with home birth because I know you experienced this is you were going to an OB and then you chose to just have the midwives come and kind of do like the that route in terms of doctor's appointments and stuff. And something that was amazing to me and encouraging to me was the fact that I believe they just had they could just check his heartbeat.
Carrie:Right? Yep. With little Doppler. With a little Doppler. So there was no seeing him.
Carrie:There was no exact scan and exact weight and exact this and exact that. I think that's incredible. And I we I don't know if I've I don't know if I've shared this on on the podcast, but we weren't able to go for annoying insurance reasons. We weren't able to go to, any sort of like a confirmation appointment or anything or our first opiate appointment till I was 13, almost 14. And that was a time where God really met me in that anxiety and fear.
Carrie:And I I feel like I drew very near to him and he got me through that. Yeah. I remember. But I do know how much trust is involved with the not knowing and the unknown and the way that your mind the places it can go. And there's always that feeling of, I just wanna get to the doctor and know that everything's okay.
Carrie:But the funny thing about it is, first of all, it doesn't really change anything. And secondly, it's like every time that we'd leave, twenty four hours later, I'm like, are they kicking? Are they this? And so it's like this false sense of security. Not to say that there aren't incredibly important elements of Mhmm.
Carrie:You know, knowing if your child's healthy and things like that. Absolutely.
Becca:But that's not where our peace is gonna come from anyways. Yes.
Carrie:Or you think, okay, I'm getting
Becca:it. Yeah. Ten months, you have a baby and then there's a million other things that you can about.
Carrie:Oh, now every day I'm like, is this normal? What's he doing? He pooped three times. Is that okay? Two times today?
Carrie:Are we are we good? It never it never ends. Yeah. But did that how do you feel like God met you in that? And was that something you struggled with or was was there just a lot of peace there?
Becca:Well, we did we went in for a twenty week scan.
Carrie:And
Becca:we ended up going into a place that was a maternal fetal medicine clinic, which they are a little more specialized usually for like high risk. I don't know why we ended up going there. And so it was very thorough. And there were a lot of maybe concerns presented to us that in hindsight weren't really concerns. So I think for me, out of sight, out of mind was actually better because he was healthy and I was healthy and the midwives were able to capture that in all the the tests that they can do at home.
Becca:Okay. Because I think every time we had like, we did go in for some, like, some sort of imaging, there was a lot more questions. So we kind of left confused, which is not everyone's experience. It just was for us. And had to be kind of grounded back down to like, everything is normal.
Becca:Your labs are normal. Your heart rate's normal. Baby's heart rate's normal.
Carrie:Was he breech at some point? Am I am I remembering that incorrectly?
Becca:I mean, they said he was breech, but he was it was like it was like in the middle. So they're just doing somersaults in your belly. And so
Carrie:we I remember you being kind of like, oh no, he's yes. Yes. Is this gonna be a problem? He's breech. And it's almost sometimes better not to know every because it it when it comes to positioning Yep.
Carrie:Because I got him so in my head about Archie's positioning.
Becca:Oh, yeah. That can happen the last two weeks.
Carrie:Exactly. And so in that regard, in this in the minimal things you can get really in your head, like if something is is wrong with the baby or there's a challenge or a health thing, that's different. But when it comes to just the basics of their positioning and things like that, when you find out twenty weeks they're breached, it's like, who cares? They're not gonna be breached in thirty minutes. So like you said, they're doing the somersaults but I got so in my head.
Carrie:I don't even think he was ever breached at ultrasounds but if you don't feel him flipping around and I was just convinced he was. I thought his head was here but it was his butt the whole time. Yep. So anyway, yeah.
Becca:I'm just The normal new mom, new pregnant mom anxiety is the
Carrie:right way. Absolutely. Standing on my head all the time. Just being ridiculous. Oh yeah.
Becca:This isn't We did all the things we
Carrie:get to. Some peas on my belly being like, move down. He's like, that's my butt. Why are you putting peas on my butt? Mom, what are we doing?
Becca:I've never heard of that one.
Carrie:Yeah. But like frozen thing. Frozen peas. Frozen peas. It's so stupid.
Carrie:That
Becca:is hilarious.
Carrie:I don't recommend that. But Yeah. Feel like
Becca:it let me be a little bit more intuitive with my body and that's only my experience. You probably did too. But I feel like it did allow me to like they were palpating my stomach every time. And so I was able to like kind of learn that too and not be like we didn't we weren't looking at a scan or anything every time.
Carrie:So it was think that's really great. I actually took a lot from your experience because though I was going to the doctor more frequently, we still I wasn't high risk or anything. So I went like not that many times. But I think you were a very encouraging friend having a different experience where it was every time I talked to you like, I'm praying these scriptures over myself. I'm mentally preparing, you know, I'm trusting the Lord that he's healthy.
Carrie:I'm trusting the Lord that these things are good. Because I think there is maybe some there's more reliance when you don't have the modern medical system giving you everything. So I was encouraged by that as someone who enjoyed the modern medical system and enjoys going all I the still really appreciated and valued your perspective. And I think it led me to a place of finding that surrender and having a more peaceful pregnancy even with going to the OB. Because I remember by the end, we chuckled because thank the Lord for OBs.
Carrie:But we'd leave and we're like, I mean, we don't really know anything more than we did twenty minutes ago. Like really, we just need to pray. Mhmm. Really, we just need to trust God. Like, this is, you know
Becca:It is a constant reminder of like, yeah, whatever your experience looks like, this is yeah. Where where is your hope? Where is your peace? Where is your faith, honestly? Absolutely.
Becca:And it is easy when you become a new mom, to to wanna find it in all of like knowing that they're okay.
Carrie:Yeah. Did you have did you have support and positive friends, family in terms of making this decision? How how was that for you?
Becca:A little bit of both. Yeah? Yeah. I think because it was definitely something I didn't know a lot of people that Mhmm. Anybody until
Carrie:I saw something talking
Becca:to others. Yeah. Nobody nobody in our really in our space was doing it. We have a lot of people in the medical field in our family. And so it was a big, I would say, maybe concerned by a lot of our our family members.
Becca:But all who are believers, and I just kept going back to being like, this is really like what God's put on my heart, I really do trust and believe that it's gonna be okay. And So is that
Carrie:how you navigated that just by telling them
Becca:you felt that it's education piece Because I think there is a nuance if you haven't really gone down this route or explored it all to thinking that it is some like, you know, it is a very primal experience when you're in the hospital or you're at home. Oh, know, that is just like so disconnected from like safety or that it's unsafe for your baby. But they have a plethora of interventions that they bring with them. They've got the oxygen. They have the potassium.
Becca:They have so many different things that they can bring if something were to happen. That was that was part of the educational piece that I was able to bring to my family. And every single every single time I had a midwife appointment, I would just because I felt so much at peace, I would learn a little bit. But it was really just like how how are we doing preparing for this, like, mentally, emotionally. And I would come with a list of questions, like, from my family or from my friends.
Becca:Cause that was, you know
Carrie:The way that they wanted to feel.
Becca:Was the way they wanted to feel that piece of like understanding of like, well, what
Carrie:about Because they love you. They ask
Becca:me about this. Yeah. Absolutely. And I wanted to be able to make them feel, you know Mhmm. Empowered and understanding a little bit more too.
Becca:So yeah, didn't I convinced anybody to have a home birth in my family? Maybe not. But
Carrie:they felt more peaceful about And you going through
Becca:I think probably would have felt that way, the nerves around it either way, whether he was born in the
Carrie:hospital For or sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I really appreciate it. I felt like, you know, we had these different experiences and we also got pregnant basically at the same time and really did walk through all of our pregnancies together.
Carrie:So it's like we're making the decisions. We're going to the OB basically, like, a couple weeks apart. And we're going we're doing all these all the milestones of like twenty weeks, thirty it's all happening together.
Becca:Mhmm.
Carrie:And I I think that you really were a great friend to me in that time, as were so many of my friends. But I appreciated just because I think in the Christian community, it's like people are very pro home birth, you're stupid if you don't have one. And pro hospital birth, you're stupid Yep. If you don't have I we were it's very true. But you and I were like, you're doing that?
Carrie:Okay. I'm doing this. How can I pray for you? Mhmm. How do you wanna pray for me?
Carrie:Mhmm. And I really think there was such a genuine love for each other in that time. And like, there was no there was no side eyeing. And I I that's why that's why it was so special in pregnancy together. And I think that we're really blessed and I don't think every woman has that experience with with friends when they do choose to do whatever.
Carrie:If your whole community's home birth and you're having hospital birth or if your whole community's, you know, doing the hospital birth and you're choosing to do the home birth. Either way, I think it can just be really isolating. There's a lot of shame and there's a lot of ultimately just women not supporting each other. It's just it's just the turning of the head and just kind of like the eye rolling or I know better, you know better. And I I just I I hope that I hope the girls that listen to this are just like, I should just really love my friend and ask how I can pray for the way that they're gonna choose to deliver their child and how do we support each other better as a community and that you know what doesn't help is the algorithm.
Carrie:Because I feel like
Becca:Oh, yeah.
Carrie:There's so much. You said you deleted Instagram.
Becca:It was I mean That's really smart. I might have been in a different mental place if I didn't, you know?
Carrie:Like Yes. I
Becca:probably would have.
Carrie:I found myself to be really honest, I found myself somehow on the home birth side of the algorithm as a girly that is terrified of home birth. And I I felt think
Becca:it's weird voice noting about it too much.
Carrie:Probably. Yeah. Kept hearing like doula, midwife, home birth, water bed, you know, whatever, bathtub. I was like, oh, this girl. And I I kept seeing all of these different reels about just how it was it was the only way and true women, you know, embrace that pain and all this stuff.
Carrie:And I ended up pleading social media too because I was like, you know what? I don't know why this is my algorithm like clearly it's not quite right. But but it just made me feel like it was almost making me frustrated with home births. So I'm like, not actually frustrated with those. I'm frustrated with with this specific real that's telling me if I don't do it this way, I'm not a real woman.
Carrie:And I was like, that's really that's not cool. I don't I don't like that. And I I feel like the same the same could be said for the opposite where it's like you're uneducated if you have a home birth because you don't realize how dangerous. No, you did a lot of research and you you know, you know your stuff and you chose to do it. So that was just that was my experience and I think like, I don't know.
Carrie:There's there's just so much to be said about just to follow what the Lord's leading you to and to support friends in it and to drown out the noise, but it's easier said than done.
Becca:Absolutely. And what a gift to like I I completely agree and I think what a gift it is to have a friend that really does embrace you where you're at and Mhmm. In whatever decision you're gonna do because it's not about trusting the right decision. It's about trusting god and what those decisions are.
Carrie:And I
Becca:think getting to do that for your friends, like, it it just brings you so much freedom. Mhmm. And it brings freedom on on both sides, I think. So I feel like and that can go for anything in life. Right?
Becca:Any decisions, the the decisions we make for how we raise our kids
Carrie:or decisions that it doesn't change
Becca:your mother. Your family members choose to marry whatever it is and, like, politics, anything. It's like if we just can accept that, you
Carrie:know That we're all gonna
Becca:we're all gonna have our own different views and God is still on the throne Mhmm. Then it just leaves so
Carrie:much Yeah. More room for
Becca:learning, embracing those experiences, and hearing each other, and and getting to actually unravel where where God is in those different places.
Carrie:Because he's involved. That's so good. It's the same thing with we were talking about this before we recorded, but just the idea of how to raise our kids and their schedules and breastfeed, not breastfeed. There's I think this the same thing could be said for just so many topics even with motherhood. I think now that all of our friends are parents, we're starting to get into that place of, we all shocker, we all parent differently.
Carrie:Well, we have different children and we're different people. And I think that's been something that's been a really, really cool learning curve has been, okay, that person's doing it that way. How do I one, not judge them? Two, not compare and feel like I should be doing what they're doing? Because it can really go either way.
Carrie:It's either pride or it's insecurity. Yeah. It's like how do we find that confidence? Like, each one of us, the Lord has assigned us to raise our children, to raise them up in the way that they should go. Mhmm.
Carrie:And so what does that look like? And how do we listen to Holy Spirit and trust that instead of being like, do I need to be doing with that person? Do I need to be oh, I'm not breastfeeding or that person's sleep training. Do I need to sleep? All of it is just like it's just freeing when you when you realize we're all we're all doing doing different things.
Carrie:But we're all ultimately, like, trying to follow the Lord with how he wants us to raise our babies and skin look different for everybody. We're also on baby number one
Becca:Yep.
Carrie:And baby number two might look very
Becca:different. Totally different. And I think I think having that, like gleaning that experience and understanding now is so important because it is. It's it's the pride. It's the control.
Becca:Yes. Hello, moms. New moms on here. You're gonna have an idea of how you wanna do it in the beginning and it won't
Carrie:go that way.
Becca:And that's because God loves you and wants to humble you.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Becca:He did that for us. I know we were voice noting at 2AM. Like, are
Carrie:we doing wrong?
Becca:Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. Yeah. They're they're babies and they're dependent on us just as we are with him.
Becca:And we just get to learn that in such a different way. And so, yeah, it's not gonna go according to plan and
Carrie:Yeah. And it's humbling in a really beautiful way. A friend of ours, we were talking about kind of this topic of parenting and of as you grow you, at some point you're gonna get humbled and kind of that topic. And and he shared, he's like, yeah, there's a woman that I know that, you know, after a while by kid number four, she was always kind of like, be a little prideful on things. And by kid number four, something happened and she was humbled and he was like, and now she's my favorite person to to talk about parenthood with because it's like, once you have you flip that switch of, I actually we don't we don't know.
Carrie:We're just, you know, we're just trying our best. We're just trying to there's just that humility. There's such a freedom in that of being like, actually, don't I don't know. Actually, we're just trying our best. Actually, I don't think I have it all figured out and this is the way.
Carrie:And we won't. And we won't.
Becca:And the moment that you do, something does happen with the next baby or something, not because God doesn't love you, but because God wants to humble us.
Carrie:Exactly. And he's always teaching us and it's like, we'll think we have it figured out. And then our kid turns 18 and we're like, wait, you're doing what now?
Becca:Oh, yeah.
Carrie:Oh, snap. Yeah. Humbled again.
Becca:It's a baby big.
Carrie:Yeah. So, man. Well, this is so great. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Carrie:I hope this encourages a lot of girls.
Becca:I hope so too. Yeah. I really I think it will.
Carrie:Yeah. I think it will too.
Becca:And hopefully, they can reach out too. Yeah. If they have any questions or wanna be encouraged or more questions like Mhmm.
Carrie:And I'll also tag you in the in the show notes and stuff again. OT by the Sea. Shout out to Becca. But, yeah. This is awesome.
Carrie:You're my friend. You support me. I support you. We're moms together. I think I hear Felix maybe.
Becca:Yeah. He's just chatting away.
Carrie:Okay. He's just chatting away.
Becca:So funny how different it is than two months ago. He was just screaming. Now he's playing in
Carrie:there probably. So cute.
Becca:I know.
Carrie:I could see that.
Becca:Mom, it changes.
Carrie:I was just gonna changes say every
Becca:week, every month.
Carrie:Oh, every day. I'm like, now today he took his nap? What's happening? Yeah. Yeah.
Carrie:I literally have Archie's monitor right here and He's still out. But we've got the boys in there. Their separate pack and place. So well, thanks for being on. Thanks.
Carrie:I would love to have you again. We'll we'll see what we can make that happen when Yeah. You come Yeah. Okay. Love you.
Carrie:You. This is fun. Hope you guys enjoy.