Naturally High


In this heartfelt episode of Naturally High, Jeanne Foot welcomes mental health and addiction counselor Brianne Flaherty for a deeply honest conversation about healing, self-trust, and the power of being truly witnessed.

Brianne shares how her own struggles with anxiety, shame, and coping patterns led her to the work she does today—helping people reconnect with their inner light, even when they’ve lost sight of it. Together, Jeanne and Brianne explore what it really means to practice radical acceptance, why self-compassion must come before change, and how healing happens not through perfection, but through safe connection, community, and learning to stay with ourselves in discomfort.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that no matter how dark life may feel, your inner wisdom, clarity, and vitality are still there—and healing begins the moment you stop abandoning yourself.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:
  • Why healing often begins when we stop trying to “fix” ourselves
  • How shame, anxiety, and self-doubt disconnect us from our inner light
  • What radical acceptance really means in everyday life
  • Why intellectualizing pain is not the same as healing it
  • The power of being seen, witnessed, and held in safe relationship
  • How self-compassion creates the conditions for real change
  • Why discomfort is part of healing, not a sign that something is wrong
  • How community, therapy, and embodied practices support recovery
  • Why trust, softness, and inner wisdom are signs of healing
  • What it means to live in alignment with your true self

About Brianne Flaherty

Brianne Flaherty is a mental health and addiction counselor dedicated to helping people reconnect with their inner strength, clarity, and sense of purpose. Her work is grounded in compassion, radical acceptance, and authentic human connection, supporting individuals as they move beyond shame, substance use, anxiety, and self-doubt.

Brianne believes meaningful change happens when people are truly seen and supported in safe, healing spaces. Through her work, she helps clients build self-trust, reconnect with their inner wisdom, and create lasting change that strengthens not only the individual, but their relationships and communities as well.

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Contact Jeanne Foot | The Recovery Concierge: 
Contact Brianne Flaherty:

Creators and Guests

Host
Jeanne Foot
BF
Guest
Brianne Flaherty

What is Naturally High?

On Naturally High you’ll receive transformational tools and hear inspirational stories that will guide you into holistically healing trauma in every corner of your life. You deserve to invoke your inner healer. I'm so glad you're here!

Jeanne: [00:00:05] Hello and welcome back to Naturally High. You guys are in for a treat today. Today's guest is Brianne Flaherty. And Brianne is a mental health and addiction counselor dedicated to helping people reconnect with their inner strength and sense of purpose. Her approach integrates compassion, radical acceptance, and authentic human connection, supporting individuals in moving beyond shame, substance abuse, and self-doubt. Brianne's work focuses on helping people recognize their inherent worth and live in alignment with their true selves, while offering practical tools and relational strategies that can carry into their everyday life. Through her work, she aims to foster personal healing that strengthens individuals, relationships, and communities. And I couldn't be more thrilled to reintroduce Brianne Flaherty because she has been a guest of ours in… probably 100 episodes back, in another year, And so welcome today, Brianne. Thank you for coming on Naturally High.

Brianne: [00:01:04] Thank you so much for having me, Jeanne. I've been really, really looking forward to this conversation. And, you know, I reflect back to the one that we had a few years ago, and I'm excited to sit down with you again.

Jeanne: [00:01:17] Thank you. Me as well. So for those of you who don't know, Brianne and I met as colleagues back in an organization called Helix Healthcare back in the day. And one of the things that I was always struck about Brianne, was her wisdom for such a young person. We think alike, which is great, which is why I'm so aligned with her work and her messages, because she really is beyond her years in so many different ways. So we talked about a few months ago about purpose and vision. And I said to you, why do you do what you do? And you said to me, I need to take some time to reflect on that. And you came back with a very thoughtful, I would say, essay around why you do what you do. And you said, my purpose has always been to help people see the light within themselves, especially when they lost sight of it. I believe that meaningful change happens in spaces grounded in compassion, love, and unconditional acceptance. For me, radical acceptance means meeting life exactly as it is without labeling it as good or bad. It's about acknowledging that this is what's here to be that witness, and realizing that the only way to move forward is to stop resisting and instead meet ourselves and our circumstances with love. Now you go on to say a lot more, but I want to just pause right there. When you think about the work you do, why do you do what you do?

Brianne: [00:02:45] For many of us, to some degree, we've felt that pain, that loneliness, that shame that comes through. We have also found ways of coping. And that's exactly what has happened for me. So that's what led me into the field, is knowing that I was sitting with that pain, that shame, feeling alone, feeling like there was nobody else out there to talk to. I didn't even really understand anxiety and what that was like, but it was really present for myself and I found ways to cope. And so I ended up in this cycle. And it was hard to get out of. And I think the greatest point for me, it was, you know, doing my own work, but then also finding community within Helix. Helix was actually the community that allowed me to start seeing myself. And from there, that's where that vision and purpose came from. So allowing people to see the light within themselves that they may not have had access to in a long time, but the foundation that I stand on and the belief and the philosophy that I have, it doesn't matter who you are or what the story is, what's happening for you. Doesn't matter what happens when you walk through those virtual doors of mine. I believe that there is light there within you. And I think too, it's really important to define what that light within us means because I think, you know, we have a sense, but the way that I define that light is clarity, our sense of understanding ourselves, our sense of understanding the world around us, compassion for ourselves, compassion for others. There's an energy, there's a vitality within that. And overall, it's that trust and inner wisdom.

Brianne: [00:04:23] And what ends up happening is that when we don't have access to that trust and inner wisdom, that light within ourselves, life can feel dark, life can feel confusing. It can be extremely challenging to navigate on a moment to moment basis. And so that becomes the approach that I've really stepped into is to say, hey, I've been there myself. Some of the specializations that I've continued to step into, it's because I've felt it and I've been there, and I've felt like I've had that dark cloud over me, like I didn't have access to my light and through connection, through speaking with other people, through working with mentors like yourself. Jeanne, you start to have access to it and you start to gain that inner sense and inner wisdom again. Life is still challenging. Life still has its challenges, but there's trust in yourself as you move through those challenges. So that was sort of a long-winded answer of saying, you know, I think we all have that light within ourselves. And what drove me to really pursue this is because I've been there too. I felt like I really didn't have access to it and I didn't know where to turn. So if I can be that space to reflect back to people what I know and what they know is in there, that's what I'm here to do.

Jeanne: [00:05:40] And that's what we do. Good guys do that. We hold a mirror up for them to see who they really are, as opposed to who they think they are. And I say this now, it's worth repeating, whoever sits across from me, I always see the essence of who they are. I always see that light, that vitality, that it's an energetic frequency that emits from them. And so it's us as the guides, the fellow journey keepers to help them see that light. But I want to talk about something that must have happened for you before you found the light. So you're recognizing you talked about a lot of universal feelings, like the shame, the worthiness. Am I enough? You know, the self-doubt. And I understand where all of that comes from. But you must have tried more conventional ways, that there must be something wrong with me before you landed in Helix and thought maybe there's something wrong with me until you recognize that this is more universal, or you may have been given more conventional therapy, depending on when your healing journey. Or maybe you were lucky, I don't know. So my question to you is, how did you navigate the path of early days of finding the right fit that you knew, which is much more modern and mainstream today? Still not completely mainstream, but much more so than it was, let's say, 20 years ago.

Brianne: [00:07:01] Mhmm. I really didn't know where to turn. And I was every day waking up with the anxiety and every day coping in the same way that I knew how. Just to ease my thoughts, ease the anxiety. Feel a sense of life, vitality. Feel good again. Even just briefly. Even if it just gave me a glimpse of that. That's what I continued to turn to. Long-term, that ended up impacting me more, so then I was in that cycle. The biggest part, and I'll say before Helix, it was trying to understand it from a rational point of view. So earlier years of, you know, going to school and reading up on various, you know, what is anxiety? What does that feel like? Understanding it from an academic standpoint, which isn't a negative thing. There is always really, I think there's value in that. But I was in my rational mind. And to be honest, my rational mind is actually what was holding the perfectionism and the “I'm not good enough either.” So they were just all sort of intertwined with one another. I was trying to make reason out of something that was actually an emotional experience for myself. And by stepping into that space of Helix. So I continued sort of on that path. I tried different ways, but again, it was more of trying to intellectualize it all and rationalize it all. That's where I feel safe. Give me the strategies and I'll move forward. It's fine. And so that's what I thought would do it. And it didn't. Not enough, not enough. And so, when I was able to walk through those doors with Helix, and it wasn't from the perspective of “I need to be fixed.” I think that's one of the biggest things, is that I didn't walk in there with the intention of, I'm going to work on myself, I need to be fixed.

Brianne: [00:08:41] There's something wrong with me. I knew that I was struggling, I also knew that I was intellectualizing it and understanding it in a different way. But it was actually in self-reflection after that experience with Helix, where I realized it was community. It was being seen and being witnessed by the people surrounding me. It was the struggles that I was going through. And typically my go to response is, hold it in. Don't say anything. Push it down. You know, don't cause a scene, don't cause chaos. Don't take on that spotlight. But I allowed myself to be witnessed in the challenges, the everyday challenges that we all experience, that if we don't have somebody there, our support network, our resources, our tools in order to be seen, in order to be witnessed and to move through it, it piles up. And that's where we lose access to our light. But in leaning into my support, leaning into the community of Helix, leaning into the different modalities that were being used as well, I was able to see that within myself, too. And so through that, and then, of course, my beautiful relationship that I have with my husband as well. I mean, he has really helped me heal some of those relational wounds too. So it's a process, I think, of unfolding. But initially my comfort was intellectualize, understand it from that perspective. That wasn't enough. And then I moved into that connection, being seen, being witnessed, validating, and allowing myself to actually receive support around me.

Jeanne: [00:10:11] And I remember exactly how terrifying that was for me because I'm like yourself. Like, I think a lot of people want to make sense of something. If only they understood why, right? When there's tragedy and heartbreak, why is not going to cut it. You know, like, if only I'd gone down a different street or I didn't walk this street or whatever it may be, that thing that they're thinking that would ease. So our mind does get tied up. I call it the paralysis of the analysis. Right? Mental gymnastics. Because then we don't have to feel the pain. We don't have to touch the pain because we're just going to be too busy figuring it out. And eventually, and fortunately for those who like yourself, where it comes sooner than later, eventually, whatever you're doing doesn't work anymore. You know that. It just doesn't cut it in the same way. Yeah. So you were fortunate enough to find that early, but what would you say to the seeker who may be listening, or the listener, who knows they need to do something different, but they summoning up the courage to do so. What would you say to encourage them?

Brianne: [00:11:18] Compassion first, above anything else, have compassion for yourself where you are. Meet yourself exactly where you are. It's when you say, you know, I want to make a change. I don't like what's happening. Can you accept that this is what's happening? Can we be with what's happening right now and hold compassion for ourselves and from that place of compassion and acceptance of what is, so we're not judging it as good, we're not judging it as bad. We're not trying to change it. We're not trying to do anything with it. But just notice it's here. This is what's happening for me right now. From that place, change begins to happen. That's my first piece of advice because I think a lot of people, there's this misconception that, you know, I'm going to get really, really hard on myself in order to make that change that I need. I'm not going to accept anything else. I'm not going to accept what's happening in my life. And that's a really different approach than to say, I have a lot of compassion for the parts that are hurting right now. And I get that I'm in a really challenging place and I'm going to hold capacity for this. So that's the first step, is being able to hold compassion.

Brianne: [00:12:20] And you'd be surprised when you hold that compassion and empathy for yourself, you end up reaching out in ways that you never imagined, and you reach out in ways that align for you. So for somebody, what may be accessible and what they may need at that time as they're showing compassion for themself, is I'm going to reach out to my neighbour. They've always extended that hand to me. I think I'm going to hold on to that hand one day. We're going to have coffee. We're going to sit down and I'm going to allow myself to open up. That's my first step. And as you slowly do that, it's not like a light switch. And I always say that to people. It's not a light switch where you can just kind of turn it on and off in order to get things going. It's a slow and steady progression, but it starts from compassion. So reaching out and accepting a hand from a neighbour, right? Maybe then inviting yourself to sit in at your favourite coffee shop to say, you know what? I really love this latte. I'm going to sit there today. So now you're giving yourself that permission to say, I'm going to treat myself. I'm going to be in this space that I find joy.

Brianne: [00:13:18] I'm going to connect to the people around me. And as you do that, it starts to unfold for yourself as well. Now that's the beginning stages. And I usually say it like that because I don't want anybody to feel intimidated. Then there are different avenues, and I think that's the biggest point too, is that one size does not fit all. So somebody may want to work with somebody one-on-one. And I think that's fantastic. I think there's absolutely space for that. Somebody may say, you know what, I think I need a little bit more of that group connection. When we speak about grief, we can do one-on-one, but it's in that community connection where the healing really, really occurs. So depending on what's coming up for you and where you are and what's within your capacity, you'll align with that as you allow yourself to just take one step at a time. So it may be community, maybe one on one, it may be, you know, going to a yoga class and just allowing yourself to lay there in Shavasana for an hour, right? Every step matters. And that's going to bring you on the path of connecting to your inner light.

Jeanne: [00:14:21] I believe it is the first role. You talked about self-compassion. We're talking mostly about self-compassion here because I think we don't treat ourselves like we treat our friends and our family. We're very hard on ourselves. And so like the things I would say to myself, we would never say to a friend, right? We would just be so much kinder and much more diplomatic. And we're talking about that kind of level of self-compassion. But before we get to self-compassion, I want to talk about something you talked about in your purpose of vision, which is radical acceptance. So, you know, radical acceptance for me, when I was in my early part of my journey was a pathology. Like, there must be something wrong with me. There's something really wrong with me that I'm flawed, inherently flawed, which is grounded in shame. I get that, but sometimes radical acceptance can just be the light shining in. It doesn't mean there's something that's disease-based. It has a pathology that feels heavy, like a, like a cloud hanging over your head. Because that's what recovery did feel like to me when I first entered. I was so green. It was so stigmatized. Nobody spoke about it. There wasn't, like there was something inherently wrong with you if you ended up in these rooms. And so we're talking 30 years plus, which is one of the reasons why I have this frame of mind. But I feel like radical acceptance means something different today. So can you expand on that? Because I've just showed you the dark side of it. I'd like you to show the light of it.

Brianne: [00:15:54] Yeah. I think and this ties in the theme that we've been sort of running through throughout this conversation is radical acceptance and compassion. They have to be met in the same level. So radical acceptance is saying, this is what's happening. And I know that this word is used, you know, you'll hear it in AA and NA. But there really is a surrendering to what is. And what I find that causes the most tension for people is resistance. I'm going to resist what's happening right here. I have a goal for myself and I'm going to keep on fighting for that. Or I don't like what's happening in front of me. I'm going to keep on fighting that, or I'm just going to sit in this dark space of, I don't like what's happening. I can't accept what's happening. I can't accept what's happening. And it's actually from that place of non-acceptance where we stay stuck. And the only way that we can continue moving is to radically accept and say, this is what's happening. And it's a process because it's not just, okay, I accept what's happening. It doesn't happen like that. There's grief, there's sadness. There may be a letting go of what we once thought was possible and is no longer is. And so when we can bring that into our awareness to say, I need to accept what is here, right here in front of me, because the resistance is causing so much more tension within myself.

Brianne: [00:17:29] Then we can allow ourselves to grieve if that's what we need to do. We can allow ourselves to feel the emotions that come with accepting what is here. And I say that, you know, it's broad, because I think that depends on what's coming up for you, what's happening for you. So there could be circumstantial acceptance. So radical acceptance of what's happening. Maybe there's a loss in your life. Maybe there's a transition. Maybe there's a change that's completely out of your control. There may be that part of the radical acceptance. There's also the radical acceptance of, you know, anxiety is here. I'm feeling really anxious right now. I'm scared. There's fear right here. And rather than resisting it, although that's what we want to do when we're feeling that discomfort, when we're feeling the fear, we want to move away. That feels safer than it does to stay with it. But when we can teach ourselves and hold the space and the capacity to say what's here is okay. I'm going to surrender to what's here right now. And there's strategies to help people move through that as well. So there could be more of the deep breathing, you know, tapping as well. But all of these strategies help you build capacity to accept what is here, right here, right now.

Jeanne: [00:18:39] And I couldn't agree more. I think part of radical acceptance on the flip side of that, which you touched on all of those things, is you talked about the ability to stay with it. I always say not abandon ourselves in the moment, like so when we're uncomfortable, it's a natural instinct to run like hell or to just sort of freeze or shut down and not be able to move. Even though you know that you should be moving or you should be doing something different than what you're doing. But I think what I'm saying is that when we're in that radical acceptance, we want to be able to be in it, to be conscious of, which is what you said, in different language, to know what is rather than abandon ourselves to the fear. And I think people need to understand that if we want to get someone to radical acceptance, maybe we need to let them be more comfortable with being uncomfortable because that's part of it. We're not going to move people. They're wired biologically to not feel uncomfortable. So they're going to do anything intuitively to make themselves feel better. And so this is why it's so hard. There's that small moment between cause and effect where we want to sort of spark that ignition in that individual to say what else is possible from this moment, right? Other than habitually go into that, you know, run like hell, shut down and collapse, freeze, or whatever the response is, it's going to show up in a variety of different ways for people.

Brianne: [00:20:04] Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think too, what's coming up for me as well is just empowering people to know that they can sit within that space of discomfort and sometimes initially.

Jeanne: [00:20:16] And nothing will happen. That's bad.

Brianne: [00:20:19] Yeah. Nothing's like, you know, coming through the door or falling in on us. We're okay. But the most healing part about that is allowing yourself to be witnessed through that too. And that's important to emphasize as well, is that witnessing is healing. And so reaching out for connection, allowing somebody to hold that space and that capacity for you. Again, maybe it's within a group, maybe it's one on one, maybe it's with a loved one that you trust, whatever that is for you, allowing you to be with somebody to know that you're safe in that space and to be witnessed through that as well. Now some of that too… So when somebody is feeling that discomfort and that urge to leave and that fear that may be coming up, that's the invitation to say, what's this like for you? Can we soften our shoulders a little bit? What's your body telling you right now? Where is this showing up for you? And so we kind of go from taking them in their story and to now bringing that safety back into their body as well. And that's part of it. That's part of being able to hold the capacity for it and expand the capacity for discomfort too. So we don't feel as though we need to move away from it.

Jeanne: [00:21:29] Absolutely agree. When we're talking about witnessing, there's another component which, you know, our beloved mentor, Marty, Doctor Marty Glenn, there was a few parts that she used to talk about. First of all, the witnessing is the experience we didn't have. The experience we didn't have when there was those moments of emotional neglect. Let's just use that loosely for the sense of understanding. So there was some emotional neglect or someone missed it for whatever reason. Maybe they've always missed it. Maybe it was just one time, but that younger version of us turned it in on ourselves, right? So the witnessing is like a safe homecoming to give us the opportunity for a reparative experience. And every time I behave or feel this way or act this way or triggered this way, someone else can show us something completely different than what we've experienced, right? And I think that's an important component of that. And the other thing she always used to say, as you always know, we don't go to the hardware store for milk. So knowing who are your people. Knowing who are your people so that you can actually. So if you're my person, like if I, you can be one of many people for me that you know that if I wanted to come and be vulnerable to you, I'm not going to be met with judgment or more questions because I'm not triggering anything in you when I just say something about me. But when someone's not grounded or we're going to the person who cannot conceive what we're even talking about and we're asking them for something we're not, we're going to come away feeling worse. So it's important to know how to build that community. And what would you say to the listener out there who wants to go and find that community, where do we start?

Brianne: [00:23:10] I think I just want to name two before going into that is there's parts of ourselves when we're maybe oversharing or leaning into people that maybe aren't within that capacity to be able to help us and hold the space for what's showing up for us. You know, having compassion for those parts of ourselves that are just so desperately looking for connection and trying to seek healing and trying to be seen and trying to be witnessed. And sometimes we turn to people, situations, things where it's not quite giving us that connection that we need, the safety that we need, but we're just so desperately looking for it. So having compassion for those parts of you that maybe have reached out to somebody in the past where they weren't able, they didn't have the capacity to receive it, just knowing that you were looking for connection. That's part of what it is. And so in terms of finding it, again, you know, I go back to it's that one step at a time. So you want to notice how you feel when you're with somebody, when you're in the presence of somebody else. How are you experiencing yourself? How are you experiencing the conversation? And noticing, am I feeling safe or are my shoulders relaxed? Can I connect to myself? That is your first indication that your nervous system is feeling safe exactly where you are as well. People that align with your values. People that are able to hold the capacity to see you, to witness you, that's a good place to start.

Brianne: [00:24:32] Community is really important. So I know I stress that, but community is really, really important. And if it's hard to find the community at first, then seeking out maybe it is the one on one support, maybe it is reaching out to a therapist. Maybe it is reaching out to a healer within the community to say, you know, I need to be seen, I'm needing to be witnessed in this. That experience, that witnessing, that sense of safety. If you've never had that before, it's going to be hard to know. Okay, is this how do I identify it? How do I begin to experience it? And in those spaces where somebody is actually able to hold the capacity, so maybe somebody trained, so a therapist or a healer or in group settings where that's what they are there to do, you begin to experience what safety feels like. And so then outside of those doors, that's where we begin to branch off to notice huh, when I am with this person, there's a lot of safety, there's a lot of connection. There's curiosity that comes through. There's a lot of empathy and love. And, you know, they're there for me. And so from that space of knowing yourself, that's how you begin to open yourself up, build community, and be witnessed in your healing too.

Jeanne: [00:25:49] Absolutely. Tell us what you've noticed, when people move from a place of love and acceptance after being witnessed, what changes in their world?

Brianne: [00:25:58] They're softening. There's trust within themselves. They gain access to energy that maybe they haven't had access to in a long time. And the energy doesn't mean that it's fast paced. It's a different sort of energy of knowing who you are, understanding the world around you, feeling safe in the world around you, trusting yourself that life will be challenging. Life is always going to be throwing curveballs. I think that is inherently a truth about what life is. But having that trust to yourself and that inner wisdom and that connection allows you to move through those challenges with ease. And so there's a sense of, yeah, I know, may life get a little bit harder? But I'm okay with that. And so that's where that acceptance piece comes in, trust comes in, and that inner wisdom to say, regardless of what happens, I may struggle a little bit, but I've had the experience of coming through that, and I know I'll come through it again if anything shows up for me. So again, I think it goes back to that trust, that softening and that light that people experience.

Jeanne: [00:27:09] Absolutely. As we do life and we're laughing, as I would say, it takes its, you know, curves in the road and the right turns and the sharp lefts. And we're not always thrilled about it. And it can be sometimes can be heartbroken. We look at it as good or bad. Failure or success. But our results... So I say we either win or we either learn. So there's learning. There's valuable information in what our experiences are, whether we like them or not. And I think our focus needs to be more on results. We're typically focused on results, good or bad, success or win or lose. What about looking at our results as a process?

Brianne: [00:27:49] Mhm.

Jeanne: [00:27:50] And measuring them by what we've, what we're doing along the way?

Brianne: [00:27:55] Yeah.

Jeanne: [00:27:56] Because I think there's an element of life that has its own unique, divine timing, as I would say. And as 12-step would say, don't quit before the miracle happens. Right? So we don't know when things are going to happen. It may not happen in our timetable. And that was exactly what my process was. I felt like the first few years I was initiated into a culture that I couldn't understand. I felt like everyone was speaking Chinese. We were speaking English, but it didn't land for whatever reason. I felt like I was white-knuckling it, holding on tight, which is one of the reasons I became so interested in other work because I knew I needed more. But I think the thing is that we can be doing the right thing every single day, showing up. And it may not be these perfect grandiose results that we're looking for, but the fact is we haven't abandoned our path. We're still showing up. And so the results can happen when they're meant to happen rather than when we think they should happen. Do you want to elaborate a little bit more on that?

Brianne: [00:28:54] Yeah. Well, and I think it goes back to the conversation that we were having with resistance, with acceptance, the unfolding as well. So the process of unfolding, it's not a light switch. It's not just that big aha moment. There will be some aha moments, yes. And they feel really good and very cathartic. But that's not what it is. The reality of it is that there's this deepening, there's this unfolding, there's this softening. You begin to ask yourself questions that you never did, and they just start to appear. And again, it goes back to that trust in yourself and trust that you're on the path of change, whatever change is for you, and that the ideas that you may have for yourself or the goals that you may have for yourself as you begin to trust the process, notice the resistance in the areas that you're trying to pursue or to step into, and you can let up on it. You can soften into it and say, I'm going to let this be. Life starts to happen for you. And so it feels like we're flowing with the stream rather than against the stream. So it is, it's this deepening, this process of unfolding. You know, Jeanne, I think my experience and grief has brought me into deeper levels, levels that I've never experienced before.

Brianne: [00:30:11] And I think that capacity for pain, although very apparent, our capacity for pain and grief is also the reflection of the capacity for love and self acceptance and compassion. And realizing too, that when we allow ourselves to move through it, whatever is there—anger, sadness, anything that's coming up for you, it's actually allowing you to live life more fully. And that anger and that sadness and grief and, you know, self-doubt, it's going to show up at a time that is its own, right? We don't have control over that. That's the process of trusting that when it does show up, when I can be with it, radically accept that it's here and be with it. Hold that capacity, hold that space for it, that I'm actually deepening my capacity for life, for love, for living, for compassion, for seeing and connecting with other people. So we don't get one without the other. And I think that's really important for people to remember is that any process that you're on as it shows up in your life when it's meant to, when you're ready for it. That it's actually deepening your capacity for things that are so beautiful as well, like love and compassion and connection.

Jeanne: [00:31:21] If you can't love because you're scared of something going wrong, and how many times do we see that in failed marriages? People, you know, or they lose someone and they go, nope, I'm good. I've had my life. I've had my love. It's never going to be replaced. When we can't open ourselves up, we're limiting ourselves in so many ways because we're so scared of what might happen that we miss the opportunity for what can happen.

Brianne: [00:31:44] Yeah, yeah. And it's all a way to protect ourselves. It's saying, you know, if I step into this, I'm scared I'm going to get hurt. Well, at what cost? That's always a question that I go to. At what cost is this to you? And that is our ability to connect and love and to feel love. And inherently, when we're connecting and feeling love, on the other side of that, we may feel pain, right? We don't get one without the other.

Jeanne: [00:32:09] No, so we have to welcome all the parts. As difficult as some of them may be. We're losing so much more by not doing so.

Brianne: [00:32:18] Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That becomes the barrier to our life, to being able to access who we are, that essence of what's true for ourselves when we try to protect ourselves from all these other elements, and understandably so, it's actually within that protection that really builds up that armour to our own light.

Jeanne: [00:32:39] Perfect. So talk to me a little bit about trends. Okay. What are you seeing now that's different than, say, five years ago in your practice?

Brianne: [00:32:47] Mhm. I would say more and more, the connection to the body is becoming not something, you know, just new and fresh and just an idea, but that it really is something that people are more inclined to just guide themselves towards as well, and realizing the benefits of when they do so. You know, when we talk about somatic experiencing and moving through, I think there's… we're moving towards an understanding that emotions carry energy with it. And for people, when they walk in, they realize the association of when I'm sad, this is the energy that I'm carrying. And when I actually turn towards and I allow myself to sit with it and move through it, not the story. And we could talk about the story, but when I allow myself to actually move through the energy associated with that feeling, that belief, that emotion that I'm experiencing, there's a shift. And when somebody that's where change happens is when somebody is able to experience that shift within themselves. So naturally, what happens is that, you know, then on a day-to-day basis, they're more inclined to lean into those practices that we did say in session that brought them to their body, that brought them back to themselves, that created that sense of safety. And I think, again, more and more people are realizing that. So naturally, I'll have conversations with people and they'll say, you know, I was really angry. I'm noticing I'm just carrying a lot of energy. So I went out for a run or I actually just started doing yoga. And I don't know if I've taken on too much yoga, but I'm doing a lot of yoga now and it's really helping me move through the body, this excess energy that I'm noticing coming through. And I think this is also really important to acknowledge as well, is that for substances and alcohol, for example, with addiction, when people start changing their relationship with it, either reducing it or abstaining from it, whatever that looks like for them. Typically what I see is restlessness. There's a lot of energy that starts coming through and people aren't sure what to do with it.

Jeanne: [00:34:48] And boredom.

Brianne: [00:34:49] Yes. Boredom. Yeah. And people don't know what to do with it. And so naturally, people and I always say you're going to naturally find the ways to help you move through this energy, but I'm going to validate that the energy that you're experiencing is normal and that's okay that you're experiencing it. It's necessary for you to experience it because the addiction, substance use, the alcohol was pushing it all down. So here we are left with this energy that we've been pushing down. We've been scared of it and now we're finding ways to move through it. So in terms of trends, I think naturally people are noticing the energy associated with beliefs, with thoughts, with emotions, and bringing themselves to places where they can really move that through to notice a shift in themselves.

Jeanne: [00:35:29] Absolutely. Well, I think they're noticing that we're just much more than our body and our brain as a separate entity. Right? And I still am floored how medicine hasn't caught up yet. We're still like, okay, we'll treat parts of you. And without looking at the sum of all parts. That doesn't make sense to me. I don't know, could you want to speak to that?

Brianne: [00:35:53] Yeah. No, you know, I think we are a whole person and we experience it when our thoughts and our bodies, certain thoughts will trigger how we feel within our body.

Jeanne: [00:36:07] Physiological response.

Brianne: [00:36:08] Physiological response, but, you know.

Jeanne: [00:36:11] And a biologic response depending on what else is going on, right?

Brianne: [00:36:16] Yeah. It's also very adaptive for us to stay up in our heads, to say, no, this is what's happening. We're just up here. It's just in the story. It's just because of these circumstances. It's adaptive to do that. So I think it's also inviting and saying when you think about that, when you land on this belief that you're not enough, what happens to you? What do you notice about yourself? And people may say “nothing,” right, at first because it feels very unfamiliar? But the more you invite it, the more they are likely to invite it within themselves too. It's just planting little seeds to say, oh, actually, now I'm noticing that my chest is kind of tight. That doesn't feel good. What's that about? And we start to build the connection. And that branches, the peace of your mind and your body are very much connected. And so again, naturally, I think people lean into that as they begin to experience it themselves, but they may need somebody else to say, what is that like for you? To model curiosity, because again, it's adaptive to stay up here with survival.

Jeanne: [00:37:15] It’s survival. It feels like survival when you’re in it, right?

Brianne: [00:37:17] Yes. Yeah, absolutely.

Jeanne: [00:37:19] So as a professional, you balance a lot. You balance a lot of heavy, heavy trauma as well as people's lives. You have your own family with young children. What are some of your non-negotiables that you do in a day, let's say, to keep yourself more grounded and more balanced, and so you can stay in your own evolution of self realization and actualization?

Brianne: [00:37:47] Mhm. The energy piece is really important for me. So I'll carry and when I notice my thoughts are going in a certain spiral. So I think one piece, it's important to acknowledge as well that those parts of ourselves, so the I'm not good enough or, you know, this isn't enough, or I'm not worthy. Even if we've done a lot of healing around it, it may still show up again. It may reappear. But that's your cue to say, how am I taking care of myself? What am I doing for myself? And so anytime that shows up for me, that's usually my cue to say, what have you been doing? What have you not been doing? What's happening for you right now? Are you sleeping well? Are you eating well? When was the last time you opened up to somebody and allowed yourself to be witnessed? When was the last time you allowed yourself to move through? That's one piece that I always say to myself, to use those as cues, not as a sign that if there's any regression. That's not what it's about. The other piece for me, non-negotiable. I have to move my body. I absolutely have to move my body. I, you know, I probably look funny throughout the day. I'll do certain calls and then I get up and even if I only have 15 minutes, I get outside, I get my shoes on and I go for a walk outside and I just sort of shake, shake my arms out, shake my body out, and then I come back and I can sit down.

Brianne: [00:39:00] I can ground and continue moving through my day. So moving my body is a non-negotiable. You know, I think we can get really caught up in our passions as well and are helping and holding space. And it feels like you just want to keep doing more. And I think that's where my heart is as well. And it can be exhausting to do that nonstop. I think those are some parts of myself. And so it's really important for me to create time, very intentional time with my boys to sit down and they probably are like, what are you staring at, mom? But I will, I'll sit there and I just look at them and I look at the shape of their nose and their eyes and the way they're breathing. I have a two year old, so I don't know what it is, but the way he eats is just so cute. So watching, watching them eat. Yeah. Bring myself present back in the moment with things that I love with the people that I love. So every day, moving my body, checking in with myself and connecting with my loved ones.

Jeanne: [00:40:02] Beautiful. And no different, no better way, right, than to be with the things that are really important to us? Because even though work is part of our legacy and our purpose is not the last thing that we want to be known for.

Brianne: [00:40:14] Mhm. And, you know, our children. Children in general teach us so much. They bring us back to ourselves in ways that we don't realize.

Jeanne: [00:40:23] I agree.

Brianne: [00:40:24] And so, you know, let them be your guide when they're sitting there just immersed in what they're doing. Just witness them in that and see if you can immerse yourself in that too. Let them be your guide. I intentionally create that time to just stare, stare at them.

Jeanne: [00:40:41] I'm doing that with my second act as a grandparent. I understand the moment that's being presented when I just am with them, and I find myself doing things I'd never do for anybody. Or it's like, I'm still marveled at how I feel like I missed a chapter because it's so different and I'm so present. And I think that speaks to not only space between having children and grandparents, but I'm a person who's present now in most of my life.

Brianne: [00:41:08] Mhm. Mhm.

Jeanne: [00:41:10] So I want to thank you for being our guest today. And before you leave, is there anything that you'd like to say to the listeners?

Brianne: [00:41:23] You know, one of the questions that I always ask people when they come in and we've been in these conversations and, you know, they're feeling stuck and life feels really heavy and it feels like it's not coming through and they just don't know who they are, I always ask that question, do you believe there's light within you? Do you believe that light is there? Even if you have access to it in this moment, do you believe it's there? And the answer is usually yes. And that becomes your foundation. So trust that you have everything within you to create the change that you're looking for, to live the life that you want to live and that there's been a few strategies, adaptive strategies, to help protect you, but trusting that the light is there gives you that space to continue stepping from that space as well. Making decisions, getting curious, having compassion for yourself as you do it. And I think the biggest piece is that, you know, it's not that light switch. It is a process of unfolding, of unraveling, of learning, relearning. It's part of the process.

Jeanne: [00:42:22] And coming back again and again and again. Right?

Brianne: [00:42:25] Exactly, exactly. So to be open to that process and trust yourself within that too.

Jeanne: [00:42:32] Beautiful. So, Brianne, tell our listeners how you stay Naturally High.

Brianne: [00:42:38] My children, movement, my work that I do, connecting with people on a day to day basis, I find there's so much energy that comes through those conversations and leaving those conversations. I'm telling you, Jeanne, you wouldn't think so, but you know, this field and working in addiction and mental health and grief and trauma. Yeah, it can be heavy, but I'm telling you, I've had some of the hardest laughs I've ever had. You have to. Yeah. And that vulnerability piece has taught me so much. And yeah, you know, I've gone to school, I've done my training. I continue to do training. It's never going to end. And I have my own experiences as well. But what I learn in those sessions from the people I sit across is invaluable. So that's how I stay Naturally High.

Jeanne: [00:43:30] And there's no greater way than to be in integrity with oneself. Like that's the high is when we're living our ultimate life in integrity with ourself, not someone else's agenda.

Brianne: [00:43:41] Yeah.

Jeanne: [00:43:42] There's no better feeling.

Brianne: [00:43:43] No, it's alignment and it's restful. Yeah, yeah.

Jeanne: [00:43:47] So thank you, Brianne, for being our guest today. And we look forward to hearing more about your new developments as things emerge for you.

Brianne: [00:43:55] Thank you so much, Jeanne.

Jeanne: [00:43:57] Thank you for joining me for this episode of Naturally High. If this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or reach out to me through the links in the show notes. Together, we're changing the way the world approaches mental health, addiction, and trauma. Remember to like, subscribe, and leave a rating for Naturally High on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen so you never miss an episode. For more inspiration and resources, follow me on Instagram @theRecovery_Concierge or visit therecoveryconcierge.com. Stay empowered, keep rising, and I'll see you in the next episode.