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Everybody has a unique personality. Their life experiences, worldview, and socioeconomic status influence how they interact with other people and relate to one another. That personality in turn affects how a mentor interacts with their mentee: their "style" of mentoring. Some are encouragers. Some are challengers. Some are networkers. There's many different styles of mentoring, and they each have their own unique strengths and weaknesses. This week, Zach and John hop on the pod to talk about the different "styles" of mentoring, why mentoring is a team sport and not just something you can do on your own, and "style week".
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. Learn more at you can mentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Why hello there, mentor. We here at YouCanMentor hope to add as much value as we can to mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships.
Speaker 1:We have a bunch of resources that we've created to support you, such as books, learning lab cohorts, conferences, and online downloadable resources. Our goal is for you to use these resources yourself or to share them with your volunteers. The best way to get access to all of these resources is to sign up for our once a week newsletter. To do that, head on over to our website, you can mentor.com and give us your info. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:And remember, you can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome. You can mentor listener. This is John, and I am pleased as punch to be sitting with my friend, Zack.
Speaker 1:Pleased as punch,
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Man, that was good. Yeah. You got me.
Speaker 2:Zack, we have got a real humdinger out of a subject today.
Speaker 1:You are on fire right now. Keep it going.
Speaker 2:I'm ready. I'm ready. I think that you've got some stuff that we're going to to, you know, just tear into
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then build back up again. Mhmm. Right? And don't don't you think that's kind of how friendship should work? Don't you think that you want a friend who gives it to you, you know, like it it tells it like it is, and it and then it leaves you broken, but then guess what that guy does next?
Speaker 2:He builds you back up, and you know what? You're stronger for it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think I just want a friend who's gonna make me laugh.
Speaker 2:Okay. But but not necessarily get into some of the areas of improvement I mean that he sees in your life in terms of
Speaker 1:We can do that after a while. Okay. You know? But
Speaker 2:You know, I always say you need to invest into an account before you withdraw from it. Exactly. Agree with that? Yes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:A 100%. Establish trust. So, no, we're not only talking about with our mentor, but even just our our co you know, our our podcast co anchor.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Us. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right here.
Speaker 1:Audience, I just want you to know that John and I have been talking for the last almost hour. We had a bagel.
Speaker 2:Feels like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Had a bagel. We had a couple cups of coffee. Now I'm drinking a sweetened water drink from John's refrigerator, And we have been spicy. We have been at each other's throats.
Speaker 2:Unintentionally, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But You
Speaker 2:know, I I wonder about you sometimes, Zach. You it seems like you would carry you'd be one of the people that carries a water bottle with you that, like, says no BPA on it, and then it has stickers to the national and state parks that you visited. And it would be, you know, like a like, 3 gallons of water. I'm talking, like, a lot of water. And but you're not that guy.
Speaker 2:I'm not that guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You you judge me so hard.
Speaker 2:That's not your style.
Speaker 1:That's not my style. Can I use that word? Oh, I see what you did. Talk about style week. Go ahead.
Speaker 2:It is style week.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. John John wants to call this podcast style week.
Speaker 2:Listener, listen, there are times when our the best of us, sometimes want to draw a line between the other best of us, our our our our better half, so to speak, in friendships. And I just want you to remember that the lord, he erases, you know, what he likes to do. I I I love this about the lord. He erases those lines between us, and he reminds us that we are we are 1 we are 1 together. So as Zach mentioned, it's style week here at You Can Mentor.
Speaker 2:And style can mean a lot of different things and look alike a lot of different things to from what we wear to how we just kinda carry ourselves. I'm gonna give my friend Zach just a moment. I'm sorry. It's okay. We're here.
Speaker 2:I'm here. Go ahead. And so I really thought that it would be neat for us to to consider, you know, what does it look like? What what does our mentoring look like? How have we been wired?
Speaker 2:How have the experiences and the relationships? And and, I mean, even our mentors. Right? Like, what as we have developed over time and been poured into by people that we love and trust, those things go to combine to really kinda form our mentoring style. And so that's what we get to talk about today.
Speaker 1:I just don't know where you came up with style week. Like Yeah. Why couldn't we just say, what's your mentoring style?
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:But instead, you you created a week out of it.
Speaker 2:I I think that that we as believers, Zach, always need to be looking for opportunities to celebrate, don't you? Yeah. You know what? Wait. Are you one of those types of people that has a as many know, my birthday is coming up.
Speaker 2:Alright. You're gonna be 50. The elephant in the room. Yes. That's right.
Speaker 2:Couple of weeks. Yes. I turned 50 years old.
Speaker 1:And I'm I am trying to throw you a party, which you are trying to not come to.
Speaker 2:Which is ironic because you are a real celebrator. Don't you think? I mean You're good at it.
Speaker 1:I I have my moments.
Speaker 2:I felt like listen, the recent you can mentor gathering here in the heart of Waco, Texas was a real joy, and I think that Zach with with the help of Sarah and and friends. Is that right? Yes.
Speaker 1:I
Speaker 2:don't wanna put this all on you because that would be unrealistic, but most of it's
Speaker 1:you. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2:It was a lovely time. Not only did you communicate effectively and you had a a really great man stand before you spoke and and really kinda stole the show. You. Oh, yeah. And but, you know, it was just it felt good.
Speaker 2:There were tasty things to eat Uh-huh. And good beverage. And so Yes. Anyway, you are a celebrator. You have style.
Speaker 2:Let me just say that.
Speaker 1:I do have style, John. Yes. Yes. I do. But we're not talking about my style.
Speaker 1:We're talking well, maybe we are. We're talking about our mentoring style. So let's get down to the nitty gritty. Let's get down to the jam nitty gritty, shall we, John? I'm ready.
Speaker 1:We've had enough of this riffraff, enough of this Tom Flores.
Speaker 2:Jabber?
Speaker 1:If you will.
Speaker 2:Yeah. We're
Speaker 1:here to help people mentor. That's that's why we have come to the You Can Mentor podcast, to remind people that you can mentor, and you can use these tools that we are about to put in your, quote, unquote, tool belt.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:Okay. So John has found on a website Mhmm. In the internets, 8 types of mentors, and we found these types of mentors to be interesting. And we think that we can learn from what we're about to talk about.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Relevant and adaptable as well. So that was from Together Platform.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Thanks, guys, for putting out this resource. Mhmm. And we are going to use it as a platform to talk specifically about what we have such a heart for, faith based mentoring.
Speaker 1:Yes. So this is this is what we know. We know that every single person is different. We know that they have had different experiences. We know different wirings, different passions, perhaps coming from their experiences, different contexts, different regions, different upbringings, environments, everyone's different.
Speaker 1:And yet we are all called to love God, love others, and make disciples. Today, we're talking about doing that through a mentoring relationship. So how I mentor, Zach Garza, is different from how you, listener and or John Bernard, how y'all mentor will be different. Why? Because we're different.
Speaker 1:And different isn't bad. Different's different. So today, we are going to share about the 8 types of 8 types of mentors. Mhmm. And we want you, listener, to see which ones you identify with.
Speaker 1:Right?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's great.
Speaker 2:Zach, do you believe this as we do get into the idea of having these these 8 styles, if you will Mhmm. Of mentoring, do you believe just just hard and fast? Do you think that it it takes who you are, you're you're only going to be able to reach who is like you?
Speaker 1:I do not believe that. No. I think that you have a part to play, and you are a piece of the puzzle. You aren't every piece of the puzzle, but you have a part to play. You are a piece.
Speaker 1:And so, god, what I have seen is very rarely does one person give their mentee every single thing that they would need. But instead, they give them one piece of what they need. And so I'm a huge believer of just multiple people investing, multiple people mentoring to help the mentee become more like Jesus.
Speaker 2:Right. So we really can't overemphasize the fact that there's a real beauty in knowing that that we are made differently, and so we will mentor differently. Mhmm. And that's gonna that's gonna bring around just a richness for the mentee, right, to have whether it's from season to season or to say, yes. I'm being mentored by by 3 people right now.
Speaker 2:That is only going to make just more of a comprehensive experience and really set up our our mentees to be successful at difficult life choices and just managing life in general.
Speaker 1:Alright. So the first thing that we wanna focus in on today is you knowing yourself. So what is your wiring? What is your personality? How do you typically invest or encourage someone else?
Speaker 1:Okay? So, like, I am wired more as a coach. And so I'm gonna, you know, put my finger in a person's chest, and I'm gonna speak sternly, and I'm gonna say, hey. I believe in you. You can do this.
Speaker 1:You have what it takes. Now get out there and do it, champ. And I'm gonna smack them on the back and say, you got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right? You probably aren't going to approach a mentor like a mentee like that. Right, John?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So why don't you share with us how you're more wired?
Speaker 2:Well, I think that my style is going to be one that's kind of the observer. Mhmm. You know? I like to kinda watch before I I really kinda put myself out there, and I'm going to be the one to come alongside and kinda after spending a time of of really just kinda seeing some some strengths and weaknesses maybe or just as I feel like the Lord just kinda speaks to me over what I feel like I can I can offer to this person? In the way of encouragement, I really wanna be encouraging, but also always emphasizing this idea of like, hey, man.
Speaker 2:We are we are in this together. Right? And and you you are important to the Lord and to the kingdom. And so, yeah, I would say that I'm I may I may be take the philosopher's approach a little bit to, to mentoring sometimes. A little heady, maybe.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. That's good.
Speaker 2:Which is interesting because, I mean, you know, I'm not the sharpest tool in the tool shed. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Sell yourself short, John.
Speaker 2:Hey. Listen. Real quick quiz. And, listener, this is for you too. Okay?
Speaker 2:You can you can blurt this out. Who was it that famously said, know thyself?
Speaker 1:Aristotle. Right?
Speaker 2:It's so close. I give I give you one more guess.
Speaker 1:Well, Bugs Bunny.
Speaker 2:Bugs actually, let me tell you this. We we learned about this philosopher in Bill and Ted's. It's it's Socrates.
Speaker 1:I knew it. Socrates. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's exactly right. So, yes, know thyself. It's important. Right?
Speaker 2:Yes. We we must know ourselves, and we must be honest with ourselves as well. And so, listener, this is what I kinda wanted to stress. Even as we talk about these different styles, different ways, different hats, so to speak, or different perspectives that you take to mentoring, this is in no way to say that that one is better than the other. It's back to, you know, the many parts one body in scripture, which is to say we're not saying that someone is more important or does a better job of it.
Speaker 2:To know thyself is to say you have been given these incredible gifts by the Lord. You have been given his very presence, and so he desires to use you for kingdom work through mentoring and through, again, making as it is on earth, as it is in heaven, but also to take a good hard look at at some of these deficiencies because that's as important to understand that we don't have all the answers nor should we ever have to be pressured to feel like we do, and that only stresses the need for us to have a team approach.
Speaker 1:Which we'll talk about here in a second. Yes. So after you know yourself, I think the next important thing is to is to get to know your mentee and to figure out how how they receive your investment. So as a coach, I coached 8th grade football for a long time, and I realized that some guys on my team, they really received my input really well. I mean, they did exactly what I asked them to do.
Speaker 1:They liked me. I liked them. It was a match made in heaven. But there were some kids who didn't respond well to my type of investment. They didn't enjoy the fact that I was a big guy or the fact that I spoke very passionately or this or that, but instead, they really received way more from my assistant coach who would kinda put his arm around them.
Speaker 1:Hey, man. Everything's gonna be okay. Why don't instead you try to do this, try to do that? It's kinda the opposite of how I do it, but different strokes for different folks. Kinda like what John said, not one way or one way is not,
Speaker 2:you know There's no one size fits all.
Speaker 1:Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I think one of the one of the common myths as a mentor is that you you think or I feel sometimes that I have to be all things to this kid? Right? And so, John, why don't you share with us about the dangers of deficiency? Absolutely.
Speaker 2:I mean, again, it can yeah. I think that it can honestly Zach, I mean, I don't hope that I'm I hope this does doesn't sound like it can make, you know, a mountain out of a molehill, but I think that it's a spiritual issue or or it very well can be. We don't wanna give the enemy a foothold, right, in any area of our lives. And so especially when it comes to this idea of of identity, of who we are, of understanding how we're to be used by the Lord, and to say, man, if we're if we're focused on what we can't do, if we're focused on what we're not good at, then oftentimes we might go to the point of saying, well, then why am I even going to pursue mentoring at all because I'm not good enough? It'd be the same for this attitude of our own sharing our faith, which is to say, well, because I don't have all the answers, I don't even want to really initiate anybody in conversation, or I don't wanna be living my life out loud in that way.
Speaker 2:And, again, I think that that what we want to be careful of is to think that those deficiencies of of who we are, they're not there for us to to say, well, then forget it. I'm not I'm not even going to try, which is what I think that we're even dealing with maybe on a generational perspective right now with a lot of young people. I think they kinda take that point. I know as a parent even and as a mentor, I've dealt with my own kids, but also kids that I've mentored who've taken approach to things to say, you know what? I'm not good at that, so I'm not even going to try because I don't feel like I can sustain the the pressures of or some of the self talking that involves failure.
Speaker 2:And that's a real sadness. That's a real bummer that we would want to be at the point where we can kinda understand. You know what? I can take a hard look at the things that I'm not necessarily good at or what I lack as a mentor, and it should not keep me from continuing to be consistent and and putting myself out there for my mentee.
Speaker 1:Right. As you know, if you tune into this podcast often, I like to play basketball. And one thing that drives me crazy whenever I'm playing basketball is if I'm playing with someone who doesn't know their strengths and their weaknesses. This happens all the time. There's a guy out there who cannot shoot at all, bad shooters.
Speaker 1:And what are they doing? They're sitting behind the good old three point line just jacking up threes, just over and over and over, and they miss and they miss and they miss, and they cost us the game because they don't know that they're bad shooters. And it's okay to say, hey. I'm not the best shooter in the world. What am I gonna do?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna surround myself with people who are good shooters, and I'm gonna pass them the ball. Yes. Which is a great segue into our next point. Mentoring is a team sport, and the Lord just has a tendency to really like to use community to God really likes it when people work together to advance his kingdom.
Speaker 2:There are no lone wolf McQuaids when it comes to mentoring. Right?
Speaker 1:Lone wolf McQuade? Yeah. Who's who is McQuade?
Speaker 2:Chuck Norris movie? Is that not
Speaker 1:You're showing your age.
Speaker 2:Okay. Alright.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No.
Speaker 2:Well, let me tell you this. I don't believe there's anything I don't think there's such thing as a self made person. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No. That vernacular of even self made man. I'm making air quotes. Mhmm. Ladies, I'm looking at you too.
Speaker 2:Excuse me. Women, Zach.
Speaker 1:The 2,023
Speaker 2:I know. Get with the program. Well, listen. There simply isn't. We've all been given opportunities and through relationship, even if we've kinda had some challenging relationships, those have been the things to spur us on to greatness.
Speaker 2:And so, obviously, with mentoring, what we wanna continue to do is know that we are a part of this river. There has been support that has come downstream, and all we're doing is just continuing on into the hearts of our mentees. And, hopefully, again, we're looking at mentoring those that we invest in with the hopes that they would continue to do that as well.
Speaker 1:That's right. So we are about to jump into these 8 types of mentors. And what we want you to do as you hear these is we want you to identify where you're strong, but we also want to identify where you're weak. And then start thinking of people that you have in your network who are good at the things that you're not so good at. And then ask yourself, how can I invite that person into my mentoring relationship for the benefit of my mentee?
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's a lot of things to think about as I'm as I'm talking. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But So get your get your pen and and paper ready or your,
Speaker 1:Notes app. Your tablets. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because you're gonna wanna write these down.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah. I hope so. Yeah. Okay. So number 1, we're talking about the adviser.
Speaker 1:John, what is the adviser?
Speaker 2:So the adviser is the mentor that offers suggestions on what the mentee should do based on their personal experience or expertise. Their strength is their ability to act as a sounding board.
Speaker 1:That's good. So we say often, hey. Don't shower your mentee with advice because kids typically don't like it whenever you tell them what to do. But that doesn't mean that you can't you can never share advice.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:In fact, especially as your mentee gets older, they will begin to come to you with questions. Hey. I don't know how to handle this situation. And then you, as a good mentor, you can ask them specific types of questions to kinda stir up in them. Hey.
Speaker 1:I think I might need some support here. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think
Speaker 1:I might need some help here.
Speaker 2:I think the adviser often can be a good storyteller because they're kinda drawing from their own experience. Right? To say, look. There's some dangers on this trail. I've walked this trail.
Speaker 2:I wanna let you know what to expect.
Speaker 1:Yep. Yes. Because there's power in our testimony.
Speaker 2:There is.
Speaker 1:That's biblical.
Speaker 2:Yeah. John. Now you're looking yeah. He's looking at me, everybody, with with eyebrows raised to to say, you you better listen to this. Don't let this pass you by, John, is what he's saying.
Speaker 2:And I
Speaker 1:better open up that Bible.
Speaker 2:And, buddy, I'm yes. I'm right there with you. You're challenging you're challenging me right now, aren't you?
Speaker 1:Which is a type of mentor. We're gonna talk about that later. Okay. Next up, we have
Speaker 2:You know what I need? I need some protection, I feel like.
Speaker 1:Oh, nice.
Speaker 2:What's the next type?
Speaker 1:The protectorate, which some mentors take on the role of protector over their mentee. Their goal is to ensure the mentee does not make a mistake that could be detrimental in their growth. The strength of a protector mentor is that they offer a safety net for their mentee.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like, just kinda naturally speaking, like, parents maybe take this style on as a as a protector? Right? Yeah. When when did you Zach, can I just ask you a question about parenting? Please.
Speaker 1:And
Speaker 2:I don't wanna we're not straying from the from the subject of mentoring. I think that there there's a lot of overlap here.
Speaker 1:One could say that parenting is mentoring.
Speaker 2:Zach, when did you realize that instead of desiring to protect your children, right, these these wonderful little, you know, defenseless little creatures, right, that that really don't do anything for you. Have you ever thought about that? Like, newborn baby. They don't really they don't really do anything for you other than just kind of cause you to use lose sleep. And anyway, that's another podcast all altogether.
Speaker 2:So you're looking at this young life, right, created by you and your and your wonderful wife Yes. Sarah. And you know what you say? You say, I'm gonna protect this being with with all that I am.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:But listen, Zach. There's also the issue of life gives us opportunities to sometimes get hurt Mhmm. And learn lessons that way. So how did how did you kind of deal with that maybe speaking from a parent or a mentor's perspective?
Speaker 1:I think it takes wisdom. I think, you know, with the help of the holy spirit, you have to know when to allow your kids or your mentees to experience hardships and then when to step in and say, okay. That's enough. And so I think part of being a good mentor is knowing how much your mentee can handle.
Speaker 2:Right. It's it it takes discernment, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:Most definitely.
Speaker 2:We never want our mentees to go through a life situation that is going to be detrimental to their future.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:However, by allowing some things to happen just by natural consequence, we have some incredible learning opportunities. So protector, that's all I'm saying. We we don't wanna be 100 percent protector because that becomes isolator, and that becomes that can get very unhealthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Bad. Yeah. Kinda like you, John. I mean, you obviously lift weights.
Speaker 1:And back here, over there, John's pointing with his biceps. And, you know, you don't wanna give your mentee too much weight where it crushes them, but you don't wanna give them too little weight to where it doesn't do anything. You've gotta know Mhmm. The appropriate way. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And just like a weightlifter develops muscles, John, the next type of mentor is the developer.
Speaker 2:Oh, the developer. Yes. Now this mentor is one that listens well and and is eager to point out red flags for mentees. This type of mentor empowers a mentee to develop the the capability to solve their problems independently. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Interesting here.
Speaker 1:I would say I relate well to this one. I will also say that I'm I'm probably not the best protector out there. Mhmm. Like, I'm I'm kind of a more of a pusher. I'm not in like a, you know, not in like a physical way, but I like to encourage the mentee to experience hard things because I've experienced hard things, and I've seen that it has been good and that it does help develop.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So is the developer kinda looking for, like, the teachable moments in life?
Speaker 1:I think so. I think that, like, my primary and this might be right. This might be wrong. But my primary perspective in mentoring is I'm gonna help this mentee grow, and I think that the developer does that.
Speaker 2:Right. Kinda looks to say, I value our time together. I want to give you wisdom. At the same time, I'm always kinda thinking about the next chapter when I won't be able to speak. So I wanna not only give you a fish, I
Speaker 1:wanna teach you out. Fish. Yeah. Now as I say that, I'll also say that there have been times and there have been people that I have mentored that they they don't need the developer. They maybe they need the healer.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Or maybe they need the person to just listen and just event to. And those are areas that I am kinda weaker in. And so that's whenever I have the opportunity to invite in someone, such as my wife or John, maybe even a guy like you.
Speaker 2:You're saying that we could work together sometime.
Speaker 1:Is that John, we are peanut butter and jelly. We are I
Speaker 2:love it.
Speaker 1:So different, yet we go together so well.
Speaker 2:So the developer needs to be careful to not make everything about a teachable moment. Right?
Speaker 1:Not Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay. Which I tend to do. I it's something that I'm not very proud of.
Speaker 2:But Mhmm. You know? Sometimes you can just take it easy.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. Next up, we have the broker. Okay?
Speaker 2:This sounds pretty corporate now, but I think it's interesting.
Speaker 1:It does sound I think I might call it the networker. Okay. But this style of mentoring is done by those with a strong network. The mentor will connect the mentee with learning opportunities by connecting them to experts in different areas. So here's a great example, John.
Speaker 1:I have a son. His name is Zach junior, aka ZJ, aka the zeejer. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:What we
Speaker 1:call him sometimes. And ZJ is very analytical. He's he likes to work with his hands. He is the opposite of his father. I don't know what a screwdriver is.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to
Speaker 2:But you you drank a couple this morning, didn't you? That's that was appropriate. You're right. I'm sorry about that. Listener, I'm I'm very sorry.
Speaker 1:I don't even drink. Not that there's anything wrong. Well, I guess there might be something wrong. I'm a cinder. I'm a cinder.
Speaker 1:Just
Speaker 2:sorry, guys. I'm sorry. He's a screwdriver.
Speaker 1:No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I'm I'm not handy, but my son likes that kind of stuff. My son likes cars. My son likes engines.
Speaker 1:My son likes getting dirty. So I have thought, man, when my kid gets older, I'm gonna introduce him to John, and I'm going to pray that John doesn't teach him things like inappropriate alcohol terms.
Speaker 2:Right. Having brunch with with alcohol.
Speaker 1:Yes. But you you heathen. But and so that is something that I can't provide my son. But I do know lots of people who can help him with the things that he's good at. My son loves to hunt.
Speaker 1:He's all about it. I'm terrified of guns. So what am I gonna do? I'm gonna introduce him to some of my buddies who like to hunt, and I hope to God that they're gonna teach him how to advance in that.
Speaker 2:You know, I think that it's really easy just just talking about relationships ourselves and friendships. It's very easy for us to surround ourselves with people who are like us because they typically require the less energy. Right?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so all the more reason why it's important for us to really seek out these relationships and kind of know these people who have different life circumstances, communicate differently, and all the more reason. So I think the broker or the networker is very good at doing that, which is to say, I wanna get you in front of these people because you have a lot to learn from them. So
Speaker 1:I also think that that takes a lot, and I'm I'm not calling myself this because that would be the antithesis of what I'm about to say. But I think it takes a lot of humility to be the networker Sure. Because you're okay saying, I can't do that. That's always a good thing. Alright.
Speaker 1:Next up is the challenger. The challenger.
Speaker 2:Now this is one who mentors and who opts for the challenging style. Okay? They're gonna play the devil's advocate with their mentee at times. This encourages mentees to come up with solutions rather than just kinda complain about their issues.
Speaker 1:And I might say, John, despite my demeanor and my largeness, I am not this. I I know that you're not this
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Because you are a really nice guy.
Speaker 2:You have never been so kind to me. But you're right. I'm I'm you know, with my personality type, I'm kinda always seeking for peace
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Whether it's kinda growing up with, you know, a home life that that really kinda lacked it. But the challenger, though, is one who is really gonna kinda ruffle some feathers, right, and really try to draw out now even maybe with some good intention, of course. Sure. But the challenger is one who's going to, well, challenge and and pull from this mentee what and maybe even see as their potential where maybe some of us might might struggle too. So we need challengers in that way.
Speaker 2:But, again, as we mentioned, we always agree with the fact that you really wanna kinda set some trust before you you challenge because we don't wanna do any harm.
Speaker 1:Sure. I'll also say this, though. As I look back at my life, keeping in mind that we all have a part to play. So if this is your personality, if you are a challenger, what I am about to say will be comforting to you. We have had coaches potentially in our lives that we did not like whenever they were coaching us because they were hard on us.
Speaker 1:They did not they maybe weren't, quote, unquote, super kind to us. Maybe they were extremely direct or they spoke loud, or they just spoke in a way that you didn't really appreciate. And at the time, you're like, this guy stinks. I don't want anything to do with him. That coach is da da da.
Speaker 1:He's a jerk. And you might think that for years. But I know a lot of people who have said, I didn't like that coach at the time, but now I see the benefit of what they were doing. And so if you are a mentor who is consistently challenging, who kinda has that, I don't wanna say abrasive, but, like, just super direct, and you might ask yourself, man, some people, they are I'm just not not cut out for this. It doesn't seem like they like me.
Speaker 1:That doesn't mean that you're not advancing the kingdom. I had a guy in my life. I actually asked him to be on my board knowing that this was how he communicated. The guy was extremely direct, almost to the point where it was kinda rude, but I knew that I needed that. And while I didn't like it at the time, I can say now that our relationship for that season helped me tremendously.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:But he would say often, I just feel like I'm a jerk. I feel like I shouldn't be on on this board because I don't have anything to add, and I would say that's not true.
Speaker 2:Yeah. The challenger ages well, it seems like. Right? When the intent is there and when and when care really matters, when it's not just being a jerk for for the sake of being a jerk. Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. But Of course not. Again, it sometimes really takes some hindsight to realize, oh, that's that's where you were coming from. Hard to
Speaker 1:accept
Speaker 2:on the forefront Right. And but but
Speaker 1:valued over time. But this also comes back to you just be yourself and be confident that God made you how he did. Now, yes, of course, there there are areas in our lives that we all can become more like Jesus, but just know that, like, you have a part to play. Like, your personality is a puzzle piece that will make up the entire picture one day.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Next up, we have the clarifier.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So for your more independent mentee, a clarifier mentor is a really good fit. These mentors, they act as guides and can provide valuable organizational information for these mentees. Yeah. So Is this the nuts and bolts kind of person?
Speaker 2:What do you Yeah. What do you think?
Speaker 1:Maybe they're like sometimes kids don't know what they're saying, and they have a hard time putting it into words. And this person is the person who can hear the Menti vent for half an hour and then say, oh, what you're trying to say is and then say it in, like, one sentence or 2. Right. Right.
Speaker 2:So they take the information. They take the data. Mhmm. And they kinda rework it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they and they and they have this eye of, like, how is this useful? How can this benefit my mentee? Right. You know? Oh, you're saying this, and I I I hear you saying this.
Speaker 2:Right? Empowering. The the clarifier can be a really great encourager as well and can kinda this is the person I think that's gonna take a negative and and maybe turn it into a positive.
Speaker 1:Yes. I would say that these people are typically good listeners. They're a safe place Mhmm. Especially for those people who like to like to talk a lot, like myself. Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm a verbal processor. These kinds of people can help me out a ton because I can talk for half an hour, and they're like, oh, it sounds like you're just a little insecure. Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I am. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Even though I'm not.
Speaker 2:No. Yeah. Yeah. Hypothetically speaking. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:I can't believe I clarifier said that to you, Zach. Yeah. What did
Speaker 1:okay. Here we go. We got 2 more. The sponsor.
Speaker 2:The sponsor. Why don't you share it with with with us who that is?
Speaker 1:Well, I was going to until you interrupted me.
Speaker 2:I just needed to hear myself talk apparently right then.
Speaker 1:Sounds about right. This is a mentor who opens up doors for their for their mentees, provides opportunities. Right? They will they are constantly looking for ways to put their mentee in the best situation to help them advance in life.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So this this could look like the the broker in terms of a network, but I think also there's an interesting part of this to say, as a sponsoring mentor, how how how can I leverage my influence, my resources to really provide for this mentee? Have you ever had kind of that that approach Oh, of course. With folks that have have mentored you?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Because it's not what you know. It's who you know. Mhmm. So, I mean, almost every job that I've gotten, it's been because of someone.
Speaker 1:Same here. And so so, yeah, so you are putting yourself out there, which is a great thing.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:But you are giving your mentee an opportunity that they wouldn't have had if it wasn't for you. Mhmm. And then, John, lastly, we have the Affirmer.
Speaker 2:Yeah. This is the good one. I'm really glad that we ended with this one, don't you think?
Speaker 1:Well, why is that, John?
Speaker 2:Well, because these types of mentors, they're they're great listeners, and they are always keen to provide a safe space for mentees to discuss their issues. Affirmers are empathetic. They're understanding. And as we know, this really boosts the self esteem of these mentees.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I am probably not naturally this. I am learning to become more empathetic, more compassionate. I am learning how to shut my mouth and to listen sometimes. But, John, I do feel like this is a tad bit more you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think so. You know, especially with men mentoring, you think about all the opportunities that you get to deal with someone who is struggling to see value. Who am I? What am I here for? You know?
Speaker 2:What if what would God wanna have anything to do with me? Like, when you're dealing with a mentee that is that is asking these big questions, this is where the affirmer comes in to just remind. Truth of God's word, empowering to let the mentee know that the lord loves them greatly, desires good for them. It's it's easy, honestly. You know?
Speaker 2:For some for the for the affirmer, they they have a really easy time with being able just to kind of share words of affirmation and and be a support.
Speaker 1:Which, John, I mean, honestly speaking, I I wish that you would affirm me more.
Speaker 2:I feel like if we just kind of designated some time Yeah. Throughout the week Yeah. Where I can just make direct eye contact with you and I can speak
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:These these words of truth Yes. You know, kinda Nacho Libre style. Yeah. Zach is the best. His muscles are the best.
Speaker 1:That would be helpful for me. Yes. Okay. So those are the 8 types of mentors. John, would you like to read all 8 of those again?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Just as a reminder, hopefully, you wrote these down. We've got the adviser. We've got the protector, the developer, the broker, the challenger, the clarifier, the sponsor, and finally, the affirmer.
Speaker 1:So now what I asked us to do earlier is to identify where you're strong, identify where you're weak. But who are the people on your team? So this is something that I wanna really talk about is if you are married or if you have a community, just the power of introducing your mentee to those people. Like, for some people, they say opposites attract. John, maybe not so much for you because you and your wife are
Speaker 2:kind of the same person. Yeah. Both very, very attractive people.
Speaker 1:That's not what I was saying, but yes. I mean, now that I'm talking Wow. Now it's just getting weird. You convince our listener.
Speaker 2:We're gonna have to take a moment. Okay. No. But I hear you.
Speaker 1:Your your spouse can really if they are the opposite of you, which mine is, my wife has spoken and had some incredibly powerful moments with my mentees that I could never have had because she's just a different person. Where I am strong, she is not quite as strong. Where I am weak, she is strong. And so the more I can get my mentee around my wife, the better because they're just gonna get way more exposure to what it means to follow Jesus by hanging out with both of us. Same thing with all of my friends.
Speaker 1:Right? So I've got some people in my corner who are very successful in business. I've got some people who are awesome dads. I've got some people who are fantastic in the outdoors or with their hands. And if I bring my mentee around my 4 to 5, you know, 4 to 5 buddies.
Speaker 1:They're getting a tremendous amount of opportunity to develop in multiple fields. Right? So that's always a good thing, and what a great way to incorporate your community around kind of kind of a common mission.
Speaker 2:Right?
Speaker 1:So Absolutely. And it's just more fun when you mentor with other people.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I was gonna say that the benefit there, Zach, as well is really important just to think about the mutual investment. You know? I think that as we talk about these different styles of personality and approach to mentoring, when we kind of identify what we lack and we can kind of say maybe as a a firmer that we're not as much of a as a challenger. Right?
Speaker 2:Maybe as a challenger, we're not as much as an affirmer, and so we realize, oh, man, our mentee would really thrive, but also just to think about the friendships that we you know, and even those professional relationships within mentoring that we get to enjoy. Just being on a team is so much better than kind of taking this approach of feeling like you're doing it on your own. And again, mentor, I think that a lot of times when we feel like we're doing anything on our own, it creates an environment of discouragement, of isolation that allows for struggles in our faith and and anything else. And so every time that we can go and have the opportunity of saying, hey. We are doing this instead of I'm doing this.
Speaker 2:I think that it's gonna be better off for our our mentee, and it's just going to be more of an encouragement to ourselves as well.
Speaker 1:I think it's just gonna be better all the way around. Yeah. There's everything improves. Everything gets a little bit harder. But as I get older I mean, John, I'm I'm 40.
Speaker 1:I'm 40 years old, John. You're about to be 50.
Speaker 2:I remember what it what it meant to turn 40 and just yeah. What a challenge that
Speaker 1:Yeah. And when you didn't come to my birthday party Listen. You didn't, and it hurt me.
Speaker 2:This episode is just rife with
Speaker 1:There's some tension. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's interesting. But I
Speaker 1:don't wanna talk about that now. What I wanna talk about is how we, as believers, were meant to do life together, and it is not good for me to be alone. And, you know, I'm a take the hill kinda guy. I am a get out the way and just let me do my thing. And as as I get older, I realize how how that's really not how the world works.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Because look at that hill. What a nice hill. Would you wanna you know, maybe we can I don't know?
Speaker 1:Have a picnic?
Speaker 2:Have a snack. Yeah. A snack? Uh-huh. Something easy.
Speaker 2:I don't wanna make it too hard on you. Don't feel like you need a slave in the kitchen or anything, you know, for
Speaker 1:like a
Speaker 2:a time together on the hill. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Maybe, like, maybe, like, a bag of Tex Mex?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, like, let's say, while we're there, let's just pray for Zach as he's trying to take this hill, and all we all we wanna do is enjoy it. I was trying
Speaker 1:to fix it. Life is hard. So it is better to go together, and I'll I'll just say that. So so mentors, know yourself. Know where you're strong.
Speaker 1:Know where you're not quite as strong. Know your mentee. Know how they receive. Know how to communicate with them. Know what they need.
Speaker 1:And then just know that mentoring is a team sport. Always has been. Always will be. You'll last longer. It will be more fun, and I believe that it'll be better for your mentee if you involve your spouse, your community, your friends, your kids, even your own kids.
Speaker 1:It's a team sport.
Speaker 2:So Amen.
Speaker 1:Alright. That's all we got, John.
Speaker 2:Signing off.
Speaker 1:Signing off?
Speaker 2:Yeah. We should probably work on something just at the end where we you know, and I know we we we end with the most 3 most powerful words that we can say, but maybe as a preemption to that, like, when they're thinking, when are they gonna land this plane?
Speaker 1:Well, they have turned it off already.
Speaker 2:We need something to say, you know, it's time to put your trays back and and your seat backs forward, right, before we hear the screech of those of that landing gear, safely bringing you down to your your destination where friends and family are waiting for you in the terminal.
Speaker 1:And when you cop out that terminal, you're gonna wanna hear 3 words. You can mentor.