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In this Valentine's Day special, join Dr. Amna, Heather, and Courtney, as they dive into the topic of self-love. The discussion explores the pressures of social media, societal beauty standards, and the balance between self-care and self-acceptance. The episode covers personal experiences, the impact of aesthetics in dermatology, and practical ways to incorporate self-love into everyday life, aiming to encourage women to prioritize themselves in today's fast-paced world.
01:05 Defining Self-Love
01:56 Balancing Self-Love and Societal Expectations
02:41 Cosmetic Enhancements and Self-Acceptance
03:53 The Pressure of Perfection and Social Media
08:19 Aging Gracefully and Cosmetic Procedures
18:04 Rituals and Daily Practices for Self-Care
20:58 Double Shampoo and Towel Warmer
21:47 The Importance of Self-Love and Rituals
22:03 Diet, Exercise, and Skincare
23:03 Parenting and Self-Care
24:19 Setting Boundaries and Self-Respect
24:52 Self-Love and Acne
25:29 Teaching Kids Autonomy
27:49 Makeup Memories and Inner Child
34:42 Valentine's Day and Self-Care
36:39 Final Thoughts and Outro
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
What is Skinside Out?
Welcome to Skinside Out, where science meets beauty, the ultimate dermatology podcast! Dive deep into the fascinating world of skin health with expert insights, evidence-based discussions, and myth-busting truths. Each episode explores the medical, cosmetic, and surgical aspects of dermatology, while keeping you informed about trending skincare topics. Whether you’re a skincare enthusiast, medical professional, or just curious about how to achieve your best skin, Skinside Out is your go-to resource for staying informed and inspired.
39 - Skinside Out - Galentine's
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[00:00:00]
Courtney : Welcome to Skin Side Out. I am not your host, Dr. Zane, because today we kicked him off for our Valentine's Day special. So we are joined with the lovely Dr. Amna and of course Heather, and we are going to talk about self-love, what it means, um, to be a woman essentially in today's day and age where we have such a time of social media coming to play, um, how that affects us in the way we want to look and the way we appear to others and what.
The difference is between that self-love and treating yourself versus, you know, [00:01:00] changing to be someone you know the public wants you to be. So
Heather: let's get into it. So what does self-love mean to you guys?
Dr. Amna: I can go first. I don't mind. Um, so I feel like self-love for me has varied quite a bit. Mm-hmm. In probably my teen and twenties, it was more like self tolerance, like just.
You know, trying to do the day-to-day thing, I feel like for me now, it's something that's like a conscious decision that I have to make, um, that I force myself to make, to make some time for myself. Even if it's like a small thing that I'm gonna do, but it's like I'm going to sit down and I'm going to eat this meal.
Mm-hmm. And enjoy this time without interruptions. Yeah. And I should say with as being a mom and stuff and being a working mom, I think we're often like, let's put ourselves on the back burner, put the others on the front. And that's unfortunately just not the best way to self-love. Yeah. To learn that the tough way.
Yeah.
Courtney : Yeah. I agree. I think self-love is being able to take a moment or even [00:02:00] just look at some of those smaller moments like choosing what you're eating, for example, or how much sleep you're getting or things like that that we kind of take for granted. And just choosing yourself in that moment. What's gonna benefit you and taking care of yourself in that moment.
Joe Woolworth: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Courtney : Obviously having kids puts a little bit of Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Heather: Those spit on things, but yeah, I think it, for me, it has to do with. Self-respect. Um, and I think that's something that us in healthcare are usually really bad about. Yeah. We always, like you said, we always put ourselves on the back burner.
We take care, really good care of our patients, but sometimes we're not taking good care of ourselves. Um, but I think from, like, I know we'll kind of dive into a more like aesthetic approach to self love and self care, but I think it also has to do with like self-acceptance too. Mm-hmm. And I think. There are treatments, aesthetically or cosmetically that we can use to [00:03:00] enhance our appearance, and I think that's the way that it should be looked.
Mm-hmm. Versus trying to change yourself. I think that plays a big role into what self-love should be from a cosmetic standpoint.
Courtney : Yeah, I agree. I feel like, you know, it's funny, we. As a society. I just remember last year, the year before there being this whole, like, they called it like the Kardashian face, right?
Yeah. So everyone was trying to achieve that same look. And I think that can be, you know, detrimental to how we perceive ourselves. Mm-hmm. And push for, you know, cosmetic surgery or treatments. I think the goal, and I know we preach this a lot at our office, is, you know, making sure that you are you, but just enhanced, refreshed.
Feeling better. It's not changing how you look, it's enhancing to feel better about yourself. Mm-hmm. Right, right. Um, so we'll kind of go into the pressure around looking perfect, which I think we've all probably [00:04:00] felt at different points of our lives. Yes. I think younger me definitely struggled with that a lot more.
And I think as you get older, you know, I always joked around that like. When you're in your twenties, you feel like thirties and 40. You're like, oh, that's so old. Yeah. And you start getting like anxious about it. Mm-hmm. When I turned 30, I felt so like calm and like grateful, and the stuff that mattered when I was younger just totally went out the door.
It's like a whole set of, yeah. Values that have
Dr. Amna: changed. Yeah, there's like entire Instagram reels and tiktoks that are like, the older you get, the more comfortable you get going out in public looking ugly. Yeah. Fair, fair point. Fair point. But I think that's just to say is that you just in a more, I guess.
Aesthetically, sort of a kind way to say it is you just feel more comfortable in your own skin. Mm-hmm. It doesn't matter. Like, you don't need a fresh face of makeup. Your hair doesn't have to look perfect. Yeah. It's about how you present yourself. Yeah. And honestly, as cliche as it sounds, what's on the inside.[00:05:00]
Yeah. You know, it's, and I try to, I, I will say being a parent has really helped because you realize like there's somebody watching you Yeah. Each step of the way. And I want my kids to actually realize like, no, you can like. Mom doesn't care if she goes out and like her hair's out of place. Yeah. Like what matters is inside in your brain and in your heart.
Yeah. Yeah. And I do feel like that ends up becoming more evident to us as we get older. Yeah.
Heather: I remember I was traveling one time, I was maybe in middle school and I. We were flying, I think we were flying to Florida, but um, I wanted to bring every single eyeshadow that I owned and my backpack was like so heavy.
I was like complaining the whole way. And my mom was like, you shouldn't have brought all your eyeshadow. But I really wanted to like, make myself look this way that I wanted to look. But nowadays, like I've, I haven't used eyeshadow in like. 20 years. Yeah, exactly. So it's kind of like, yeah, you have this [00:06:00] different perspective of.
How you are trying to look on the outside or what you are trying to portray. And then, yeah, it's totally fine if, yeah, some days you feel good on the inside and it's okay that you don't look your eyes on the outside. Right.
Dr. Amna: And I will say with especially like social media out there and social media filters mm-hmm.
Our children and our teens are growing up thinking like, this is what someone's real face looks like. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'll say somebody who was like raised by boomers and it was sort of like, you know, don't touch makeup, don't look, you know, you don't go to school for fashion. All of those things that were taboo, that end up becoming like very like, ooh, this must be something really fancy, really amazing.
Mm-hmm. So I think there's a fine line is like, you kind of let your kids explore a little bit. Mm-hmm. See, like, how do you think that makes you look like, let them play with the filter. How do you think that makes you look? Do you think that's a real face? Yeah. And start [00:07:00] asking them those difficult questions and maybe we should be having those discussions with ourselves too.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, it really helps us kind of realize like, oh, do we really wanna change that about ourselves? Mm-hmm.
Courtney : Well, and you know, to your point about social media, people are only posting their good days. Yeah. You know, no one's gonna post. When their hair is messed, feeling crappy. Just had the worst day of my life.
Dr. Amna: No.
Courtney : Yeah. You know, I mean, so when you look at it in that context, it can be hard. Oh wow. They're traveling, you know, they have a great looking boyfriend. They have no belly, great legs. You don't know what's edited, number one. Mm-hmm. And number two, they might have taken a hundred photos to get that one perfect photo.
Yeah, absolutely. And it becomes so consuming. Um, or some of those people where it's, it's like endless, you know? And I just think back to, to moments like that where, you know, and I, I'm sure we've all been guilty of it, where I'm, I've bothered my [00:08:00] sister for like, you know, on trips where I'm like, get the perfect picture of me.
Yeah. And looking back. In my thirties, I just feel like, oh, I could've just enjoyed the moment and I didn't need this like perfect picture. Right? Just to show everyone on Instagram how happy I am and how lovely I look, you know? Yeah. It's so unnecessary. Yeah.
Dr. Amna: So true.
Heather: I think also too, um, the way that aesthetics is and the way dermatology is becoming, I think can help enhance your.
Self-love and enhance your appearance if you want to, but it's okay if you want to age naturally too. Mm-hmm. And I think that should be. And is going to be more accepted.
Dr. Amna: I think so too. I think so too. So especially as somebody who necessarily doesn't work in the aesthetic field, but you see that more among celebrity culture too.
Mm-hmm. People are immediately being called out if they do something. Mm-hmm. And then also being praised if they do it or don't do it now, [00:09:00] rather than it being, oh, they did this, what did they do? It's also like, well, they didn't do it, and that's okay too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Courtney : Yeah. I feel like cosmetic procedures has a very like.
Very volatile response. People are either really against it, that you shouldn't do anything, or people are like, okay, do whatever makes you happy. And there's not truly like a lot of nuance in that conversation. I feel like there's opposite sides of the spectrum, and I definitely hear both. I think working in this field, it's important to kind of keep things in mind, but you know, I tell my patients all the time, my patients will come to me and say.
I know this is so vain of me to say, but I really hate this vein under my eye. It's all I can think about. And, and I try to re reassure them. I don't think it's vain. If there's something that's bothering you that can be easily fixed, just fix it. You know? Um, I think, like I said, there's a lot of nuance to that conversation.
Mm-hmm.
Heather: So I think also [00:10:00] too, it should be, we should focus on things that bother. Us? Mm-hmm. Or like things that you want to enhance for yourself. It shouldn't be like, oh, well. My mom wants me to get rid of this. Yeah. Or like my friend, my partner or somebody. Yeah. Or somebody else is having this impression or pressure on me mm-hmm.
To look a certain way. And I think it should come from you wanting to have that. Mm-hmm.
Dr. Amna: Yeah. And I think it's worth saying too, is that, um, it's something that if, especially if it's been bothering them for some time. Yeah. I think that's the thing about where we kind of draw the line sometimes with, um.
And our youth is like, things come and go. You have fleeting thoughts, but if you're like in your thirties, your forties, and you're like, gosh, I've had this one thing my whole life and it still bothers me. Yeah. It's been like a year or two. I've been thinking about this, or 10 years. I mean, that's something that, you know, it's not a fleeting thought.
It's something that's [00:11:00] someone's thought about for a while.
Courtney : Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it's just, it's always an interesting discussion because you just think about society and how. I would love to live in a world like society, loves to criticize and say, oh, like don't do too much or do this or that, but like, who constructed this?
You know, like, like where did that come from? Right. You know? So it's like almost like this like hamster wheel of, okay, be natural. Pretty privilege is real. I feel like, oh yeah, that is incredibly mm-hmm. Real. And people want to feel their, it's just this hamster wheel of like, okay. Pretty privilege society pushing that.
Yeah, you should be thin, you should, you know, look attractive. Mm-hmm. This is, that you'll get further ahead if you know you are those things, and then you're like falling back on the hamster wheel. Oh, but don't do cosmetics. You should just naturally, you can't just grow. Like, you can't just like, yeah. Mush your face into like where you want it to be.
Yeah. So there's no [00:12:00] like median there that's like, oh, some, you know, some treatments are okay, but like not all, you know? Yeah. I feel that. Yeah. yeah, so I think I really like how, you know, like our practice handles kind of like the Botox and filler appointments. Mm-hmm. Um, we do a lot of lasers, which I think, you know, we've talked about before that kind of trending towards building your own collagen. Mm-hmm. You know, I think people want to go back to this, um.
Natural focus and like I said, kind of get out of that like Kardashian face where everyone was like looking the same. Yeah. I mean everyone had the same lips, the same fox size, the same noses. Yeah. It was like carbon copies. Yeah. And there's no uniqueness to the face when you do that. So I think trying to focus on things like, you know, sculpture or radi s laser.
Mm-hmm. Where, you know, if. There are things you're not happy about. It comes from a little bit more of like a natural, I guess, phase, right?
Heather: think also too, you know, [00:13:00] there are ways that we can, um, see if a patient is kind of giving off these, like warning signs that they may not be looking for something for themselves, like
Joe Woolworth: mm-hmm.
Heather: I'll be happy when I look like this. Mm-hmm. Or you know, if they've
Dr. Amna: been to a few physicians. Yeah. Yeah. And so then you don't really know what canvas you're kind of working with either. Exactly. Yeah. Because that's what you have to consider too, is that you know what you're sort of getting yourself into.
You also don't wanna end up. You know, somebody's had other treatments, they may not be, you're not aware of the anatomy even anymore. Mm-hmm. That becomes an unsafe situation.
Heather: Yeah. Yeah. And I think, unfortunately, there are some people out there, um, number one providers who will just fill mm-hmm. Left and right.
If the patient wants it, I'll do it. But then I think on the flip side, there are providers who are, um, very, um, [00:14:00] particular and cautious about, you know, that's my. Name on your face. And if somebody asks, oh, where did you get your filler done? And you know, I think having a, almost like a portfolio of what kind of look you're achieving with your patients can either be very natural or very unnatural.
But then I think also too, I've unfortunately seen a lot of patients. Coming from different practices that have this, um, almost like distorted, um, mentality on their appearance and how they want to look or how they should look. And to us, on the outside, they clearly look kind of aesthetically abnormal, like something looks off.
But to them they like. The way that they're looking and [00:15:00] they want to enhance that. And so it's, it's kind of hard once you get down that rabbit hole of like, looking back at yourself. And I know we've talked about this too, like sometimes you just like, you know, you keep doing this procedure and then you're like, wait a minute, I look like completely different than I did.
Yeah.
Courtney : I went through a year of filler like that where I, every picture I took, I looked different, you know? Yeah. And I could not recognize myself and. You just get to this moment where you're like, oh, like what am I trying to achieve? You know, I think sometimes
Dr. Amna: we ha we come across people who, once they kind of scratch that itch, they wanna keep scratching it.
Mm-hmm. And then we have people on the outside who've never done a procedure and they think that that is what's going to happen to me. Mm-hmm. That it's something I have to go back and keep maintaining. And I think that's a really, really big myth. Mm-hmm. That once you get Botox once. If you don't like it.
Yeah. Or if you skip an appointment or you don't get it [00:16:00] for a year. Mm-hmm. You won't explode. Yeah. You'll be just fine. Yeah. And if you never wanna get it again, that's fine. And if you wanna wait three years and get it again, that's also fine. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And if you don't wanna get the same places injected, that's also fine.
Mm-hmm. And same for filler and same for laser. Yeah. Like you won't. Spontaneously combust. It will be Okay. I might, yeah, you might. You were like, I'll actually, um, but I think that's the thing is that you have that one friend who looks botched and you're like, am I gonna end up like them if I go in and even get a consultation?
Right? Mm-hmm. Because you thought it mm-hmm. That means that you are automatically gonna end up looking like a Kardashian.
Courtney : Yeah. You know? So, yeah. And the funniest part is that I see a lot of patients. And sometimes they'll tell you things, you know, they'll come to you about their insecurities, what they're trying to improve on.
For example, I'll have a chemical peel patient come in and say, I hate the blackheads on my nose. They're so prominent, I hate them. And I look at them and I'm like, to me, your face looks great. I mean, [00:17:00] I think we tend to hyperfocus on things that half the time other people. Don't even realize. Mm-hmm. Or recognize.
And it sends us down this, yeah. This spiral of trying to correct it and not only correct it, but like make it perfect. And I don't think that's achievable. I think that whole like glass skin trend we've talked about, and I, I hate that trend because no one is going to have glass skin a hundred percent of the time.
It's just, it's not attainable. So it's funny sometimes people. I think we're our own worst enemies. And I always think back to when Heather and I talked with the Girl Scouts a couple months ago and we, we tried to tell them, you know, no one has perfect skin. And they said, well, you guys do. I'm like, girl, I acne let come closer.
Come closer. Like I have some acne scaring, I have pores and I have my good days and I have my bad days. Just like everyone. Mm-hmm. Should and will have.
Dr. Amna: Speaking of good days and bad days, I feel like when you have like a grounding ritual or something [00:18:00] you do sort of like constantly mm-hmm. That helps. I think that specifically it helps me when I do have a bad day.
I am like, all right, and I always tell this to my kids too. It's like, not every day is gonna be a good day. Mm-hmm. And I, I kinda explain it to them like. Like, not every emotion is gonna be a, a good emotion. Like imagine how weird it would be if you were at a funeral Laughing. Yeah. Like you're supposed to be sad at a funeral.
You're supposed to have some bad days. Yeah. And that makes the good days even more special. Mm-hmm. But I feel like rituals sort of help people with that. Mm-hmm. And. I'll say I don't have a lot of acidic rituals. I'm lucky if I remember to brush my teeth on a weekend and I'm so sorry because I'm like, must wake up empty the dishwasher, feed the family, blah, blah, blah.
But I feel like at nighttime it's a lot calmer. Yeah. And I can like wash my face, put the cream, let me massage my lymphatic gland and it feels so good. Um, and put my retainer in and it's all fancy. I feel good, but I do feel like I have a lot of, um. Time in the evenings. Do you guys have any like sort of rituals that you [00:19:00] guys like to do, whether it be aesthetic or non aesthetic, sort of cosmetic in nature?
Heather: I will say I tend to have more time in the evenings as well. Yeah. Um, I don't have kids, but just in the mornings, you know, walking my dogs and feeding the dogs and stuff like that, I don't know if I necessarily have like a specific. I mean, other than like my skincare routine, I don't have like a ritual that I do.
Dr. Amna: I feel like it's, it's, it's like a thing when people do have one. Even mine is like, I don't have a multi-step by any means, but I would even like enjoy like a hot cup of coffee on the weekends. Like that is my thing that I'm like, Ugh, I get to do this. Yeah, yeah, I get to do that. That is my win.
Courtney : I don't have my, actually I'm kind of the opposite.
Um, I'm a morning person. That's good. And nights are just tough for me. I fall asleep so early and I joke like, [00:20:00] I don't know when the last time I used my retinol was. Um, but I do try to take a little extra time in the morning. I think it does make me feel a little bit better, like to prepare for the day ahead.
Um. Using like my eye cream. And you know, sometimes I'll throw like the little under eye patches on and like, you know, not that I, are they doing much for me? Who knows? But they feel nice and it's a placebo effect. It's all that matters.
Dr. Amna: I swear when I use my hair mask, my hair is
Courtney : softer.
Dr. Amna: Yeah,
Courtney : yeah. I do. I I will say, um.
You know, in the shower, like one of my close friends had gotten me a hair mask and it is nice like just taking a few moments. Mm-hmm. And like combing it through. Yeah. And like just letting the water like sit on you while you're waiting for it to like soak in and then getting out. Hair
Dr. Amna: wash day. I feel like that's kind of like a ritual for me.
Yeah. I'm like. This like mop. Yeah, it's like double shampoo. Condition. Condition again. Yeah. I heard you have a towel warmer, so I do. Yeah, I do. And the [00:21:00] girls love using it too. Yeah. Um, yes, I know it was a purchase that was, I think it was a Black Friday purchase a few years ago, but I love that thing.
Courtney : Not Dr.
Zane saying he bought it for you for Christmas.
Dr. Amna: He did not. I bought it for him. Oh. Oh. Maybe he did.
Courtney : We won't throw him under the bus too much.
Dr. Amna: Yeah, I bought it for him, but I was like, he's like, I don't really need this. I'm like, yes, you do, but I need it. Right? Yeah.
Courtney : It's like in eighth grade, I bought my mom this like Chris Brown CD for her birthday.
She's like, Chris Brown. She's like, who's Chris Brown? I'm like, you'll like it. Just play it. Play it when I'm around you. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I don't know. I think rituals do help you kind of find that grounding, and I think also just. I don't know. Like I said, going back to that self love, like taking care of yourself in the moment I think is so important.
You know, just choosing.
Heather: Yeah, I think it
Courtney : better.
Heather: Yeah. I think it also too, not only skincare routines and like aesthetic [00:22:00] treatments and stuff, but also like self love and self-care from like a. Physical standpoint through mm-hmm. Like diet and exercise too. Yes. And I think if you have a good routine, if you, if your diet is pretty good, if you're eating mostly like plant-based or Whole Foods, I think that can present differently on your skin compared to, you know, eating like fast food all day.
I think your skin is gonna look a lot different. And then same with a workout routine, yes, you're gonna feel better, but. It'll also help kind of give you that like skin glow too. Um, so I think those are like non-traditional Yeah. Aesthetic rituals that I think, I think
Dr. Amna: it's even just like. Honoring your body.
Yeah. It's not honoring just your face or the outside of, you know, your body, but Yeah, absolutely.
Joe Woolworth: Yeah.
Dr. Amna: And not to like keep bringing the kids into this, but I just do realize that we have listeners who are parents. Mm-hmm. And I feel [00:23:00] like self-love or like taking care of yourself mm-hmm. Takes a back, back backseat.
Mm-hmm. As a parent. Mm-hmm. And like that's just supposed to be accepted. Like, oh yeah, we all joke about it. But now I realize as I have girls of different ages, like my 1-year-old doesn't know it, but my 8-year-old sees that like. I'm mom is taking some time for herself. Mm-hmm. And that is important for me.
Yeah. And I've actually started to say that too now at times. Like, if I'm exercising, can I hang out with you? I'm like, you can, but this is my time to do something for me. So I could live a long time and be healthy for you, but also for me. Yeah. And it's like, like they need to understand like this is also.
For me. Yeah. Um, I remember the other day, like it was, I was, we were coloring and it's like, I wanna play Uno. And I'm like, well, I wanna color and this is also my weekend. Mm-hmm. So I wanna do what I wanna do and you could play Uno next to me, but I'm gonna color. It was like, I'm making this decision to love myself.
Yeah. With the color book.
Heather: And I think it's, it's. [00:24:00] Them learning that you can make choices to invest in yourself without being like vain or selfish, something or anything.
Courtney : Yeah, absolutely. Setting boundaries. Yes. I think, you know, that's the one thing I feel like I've really become good about over the past couple years that I really lacked when I was younger.
And I do wish sometimes like I had someone to tell me like, Hey, like it's okay to say no to things. It's okay. Like to say no to like. Going out, if you don't wanna go out, you shouldn't have this like FOMO of like, oh, I have to go out, or like, it's okay to like, you know, just do different things and say no to people.
And I just felt like I was always saying yes, yes, yes. And doing stuff. And it was not conducive. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, um, you know, also differentiating like, you know, self-love versus like self pressure, you know, like. Am I doing this for myself? Like
Joe Woolworth: mm-hmm.
Courtney : How do I love myself when I have acne? Do I look at myself differently when [00:25:00] I'm flaring with my acne versus when I'm not?
I think having that same space for yourself, regardless of, you know, skin condition flares, things like that, is so important. Um, because if you don't, you know, it's, it's like you say to like. Significant other. You can't take me at my worst, like, you don't deserve me at my best. But then we don't implement that
Dr. Amna: to ourselves.
I see that. I feel like that matters a lot, especially when also treating kids like we see kids so often. Mm-hmm. In the office and. Does this bother you? No. And the parents' like, oh, but it bothers me. Yeah, it does. Yeah. And this isn't like a seven, 8-year-old, this is like a 17, 18-year-old. Yeah. Yeah. So we can talk about, you know, and this, this could be a whole separate issue, but like where we kind of are teaching our seven, 8-year-old kids, like.
This blemish bothers is is not right. Yeah, it's not. It's not okay for you to have that. Yeah. Yeah. How that potentially raises anxiety or body issues later that, you know, if you see that repetitively over and over again in your life, or the 17 and 18-year-old too, we should be teaching [00:26:00] autonomy. We should be teaching them to speak up for themselves also like.
If, if the acne's not a problem to them, it's not a problem to them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, like you can throw all the creams that you want on it, but if they don't want to do it, yeah. What are we teaching 'em? Like, yeah, I won't accept you, or I don't love you enough, because you have these pimples on your face.
Mm-hmm. And they do not bother your 17-year-old son. Yeah.
Heather: Yeah. That's a really good point.
Dr. Amna: I think that's really important when you kind of like walk into the room. 'cause then it's like the parent might be speaking up for them. It's like, how do you feel about this? Does it bother you? Yeah. And the kid's like, oh, it doesn't bother me.
And then you're kind of like. Okay, so then let's redirect this. 'cause the child is the patient at the end of the
Courtney : day. Yeah, I know. There's nothing more cringe to me than when you go into a room and I, there's, I think there's a difference between having patients who are just genuinely shy versus when you can tell that the parent pretty much dictates like their whole life.
Yes. And they just control, you'll ask the patient and you'll see them start to speak up and the mom just jumps or the, you know, whoever will just jump in. Yeah. Well they don't, they don't wash their face. They don't do that. You just feel so [00:27:00] bad. Yeah. You're like, Ugh. It just makes you feel icky. And then when you do ask them, they put it in their own words.
It's just such a different story. Then this premise, you know, that the parent is kind of giving you, and
Dr. Amna: I will say too, even if they are shy, and I'll say this as like a pediatrician, like this is a great opportunity for them to like practice. Mm-hmm. Speaking up for themselves in a safe environment.
Mm-hmm. Safe, safe, safe is the underlying, like a parent is there to rescue them if they need it. But you are like teaching them eye contact, you're teaching 'em autonomy, you're teaching them how to advocate. There's so much that you're giving 'em the opportunity to do in a safe environment. 'cause they literally have their.
Their parent right there in the corner.
Courtney : Mm-hmm. I'll never forget. Um, sorry dad, I'm gonna bash you for a second, but, um, I'll never forget, um, back in high school, you know, you're experimenting with like makeup and all this, and I wore this blue eyeshadow and I came downstairs and my dad was like. What is on your face?
Like, like, you [00:28:00] look awful. And like, I was devastated. I thought it was so cool with the blue eyeshadow and like my little pink lip gloss and I come down the stairs and I'm like, greeted with that. And I just like, instantly like turn around and I'm like, like swan leak in the, in the mirror, like crying with like blue eye shadow tears, like wiping it off and it looks.
Scarby, I'll never wear, um, any color like I shadow again. But like there's, that's so funny. There are ways you can, and looking back, my dad, you know, I like joke about it, but like in that moment I just think there's such opportunity to say like, hmm, like. How do you, like, are you enjoying it from like an aesthetic standpoint or like, I don't know, just think back to that moment and I think there was better ways to handle it.
Yeah. I think my dad definitely should have had sons, but,
Heather: or like, you know, just as, and you probably have more input on this, but, um, maybe asking like. What, what do you like about mm-hmm. The blue eyeshadow or like, what made you choose that color? Mm-hmm. [00:29:00] And then, you know, it could turn into, well, I really like that color, or, well, all my friends wear it, so I wear it too.
And then you kind of have this idea.
Dr. Amna: Yeah. So I've been through this and I've been through it with not even like good quality makeup. Okay. It was like some. Um, fake kid makeup. And I'm like, whoa. The blue eyeshadow and all, and the pink cheeks and everything. Mm-hmm. And, and I look at her face and I don't remember, we were about to go somewhere and I was like, oh, okay.
And I was like, you didn't ask me if you could wear that. And she goes, and I could see like, she's like super, very excited. And I was like, so I was like, I'm gonna let you in on a secret. The goal to makeup is to kind of make it look like you're not wearing any. Mm-hmm. I was like, and she goes, well, like, why would you ever do that?
And I was like, because like in their eyes it's like a, a blue eye shadow red lipstick. That is fabulous. And so I was like, it's supposed to kind of just like bring out what you already have, make you look more rested, but it shouldn't be so loud. And I was like, but I love it for you [00:30:00] now while at home. Now we can wash it off and try it again.
And so, but one, one thing I do let her do is on the weekends I let her use my makeup
Heather: and
Dr. Amna: give me a makeover. That's cute. And she like, it's like red eyeshadow and I kind of look like I have like a raging blepharitis or something at the end of it. But I mean, I let her have it. I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, I'm gonna wash it off.
Yeah. But you know, she feels. Fancy doing it. Mm-hmm. She was like, can I use your my makeup? And I'm like, no, you can use my makeup.
Courtney : Yeah, yeah, please. Yes. First of all, I worry about those kids' makeups, like anytime I've ever like did a little s swat, like rash. Yeah. Red, bumpy rash. So I have no idea what they're putting in that, but it's probably safer to use the adult makeup, honestly.
For real.
Heather: I think too, sometimes you have to trial things. Yeah. To know like you do. Does this look. How I expected it to look or what I was trying to [00:31:00] get out of this product.
Joe Woolworth: Mm-hmm.
Heather: Um, but I think when you're a kid, you, you have a different sense of Yeah. What, what may appear or what, how you want it to appear.
Maybe very different for how it's actually looking.
Courtney : Yeah. I think a really, you know, a really. Big point is also kind of like treating your own inner child. Like I think about my like inner child a lot. Like, I think that's so like, like, um, important because it's funny, like as an adult. Like maybe, yeah, my dad would get on me about the blue eyeshadow and maybe I didn't wanna do that, but like at home now I can, I can do that if I want to.
I can, you know, or like I can eat cake for breakfast if I want to, but I think, I don't know, there's just something like, so, um, pivotal when, when you start doing stuff that you're like, man, my [00:32:00] younger self would think like, I'm so cool. I think when we get older we like kind of lose that sense of like.
That love, like as a kid, you're like so confident in yourself. You're like, oh, like the world's my oyster. And then like you grow up and you're like, oh, maybe not. Like maybe the world is not, maybe the world is like a clam at the bottom of the sea, but like, I don't know, you start treating yourself and like going back to your basics and like, I don't know.
Like I said, seeing myself in my eyes when I was younger I think has changed a lot of how I view myself. Like if little me thought that I'd be cool, like. Then I'm pretty cool, you know? Yeah.
Heather: I think something that I have taken away from this is like kind of going back to like the self rituals, and I think that is something that I could do better with, and I think I'm really good about doing it when I'm on vacation or like on the weekends, like you said, like I will sit down and have a cup of tea, no problem.
But I don't do [00:33:00] that most weekdays and I think. Taking that time for myself if I want to do that, I think is really important. Not only to like have that time, but also creating that sense of like. Looking forward to something too. Oh, yeah. Just have
Dr. Amna: kids. It's gonna like, I, I was like, yeah, I see like, well, you thought you were busy before's.
I know. Yeah. No, but it's, my favorite thing is like when they, I love them being with them, but then when and when they go down, like decaf green tea, sitting down with my Kindle or my book, it's like one of my favorite things. And if Zane tries to talk to me a bunch of. Yeah, this is
Joe Woolworth: me.
Dr. Amna: Yeah. This is me time, but absolutely.
Then that's the thing that I look forward to. Mm-hmm. And that's like a small weekday win. It literally costs no money to have a book from the library. Mm-hmm. And some tea. Yeah.
Courtney : Yeah. Yeah. I think in 26 I wanna work on how I talk to myself. My therapist always says, think about what you're saying. And if you said that to a friend, would you, [00:34:00] would you say that to a friend?
You know? Mm-hmm. Like, you look at yourself and you're like, Ugh, I'm so bloated today. Or like. Like, my eyes look like crap 'cause I just did laser. But um, yeah, she always says like, would you say those things to a friend? And you're like, absolutely not. I would never talk to my friends like that. Yeah. And then it's like, so why is it okay to talk to yourself like that?
So I think 26 hopefully will be the year to work on that and treat myself with more kindness and more grace. Giving myself more grace, you know? Yeah.
Heather: I think for Valentine's Day especially, which is why we wore our pink. Um, I think it's important to do something for yourself. Um, whether it be, you know, taking that time for your skincare routine or booking that appointment that you've been meaning to book or going to the library and getting that book you wanna read.
And I think just making time for yourself could, [00:35:00] um. Make your, you know, the rest of your year more enjoyable too.
Dr. Amna: Totally. I think getting that chance to sort of. Check in and decide how am I gonna go forward and continue to show myself love, show myself respect, show my show up for myself.
Joe Woolworth: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Amna: Rather than just kinda like dragging this 30 something year old body along day to day.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Heather: I think it's very easy to get into the mundane, kind of like day-to-day mm-hmm. Routine like. You wake up, you eat breakfast, you go to work, you come back, you have dinner, you go to bed. Especially
Dr. Amna: I feel like almost in this, like we are very like, uh. In the us I feel like very commercial, commercial based sort of, it's the holiday season.
You live like holiday to holiday to holiday. Like as soon as now. Yeah. The capital Valentine's Day is over. You're gonna start seeing Easter stuff. Yeah. And then as soon as Easter's over, you're gonna start seeing July 4th stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And, and then [00:36:00] like get ready for the summer and it's like, oh my God, it's May.
Yeah. Yeah.
Heather: And taking time to just slow down. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Not buying
Courtney : into all the. Capitalism. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Things don't have to cost money, like you said, like to be able to enjoy time, like time with friends or time with family, things like that. So, um, yeah, I don't think, you know, buying into the hype is worth it.
Definitely. Yeah. Well, I think this was a great discussion, um, you know, about taking time for yourself. Self-love. I think Valentine's Day, maybe because I'm single, it's overrated.
Heather: Over. It's overrated. It's overrated. It's just an As an old lady, again, capitalism. We can talk about capital.
Dr. Amna: We can talk about capitalism.
Yeah. We should. No, like I literally, we don't go out on February four. Yeah. It's an excuse
Courtney : to buy chocolate and go out to eat. Yeah. You should be showing love every day to your friends, your [00:37:00] family, your significant, this is what happens when you get older. You get jaded. Oh yeah. I think you just start seeing things for like what they are.
Yes. You know? It's very apparent that this is all given. Yeah. Just go buy the chocolate on February 15th. Yeah. When it's that fall. Exactly. Yeah. I think, you know, yeah. Cherishing time and moments has become so important to me over like the gifts and. You know, spending the money on like a fancy night out at dinner.
Mm-hmm. Or like, yeah, just we can go get Taco Bell, like watch some housewives. That's my idea of a great night.
Joe Woolworth: Yeah.
Courtney : So, um. We'll have to teach Dr. Amna our skin side out. Um, oh yeah. We didn't prep you. We didn't prep you. We do prep. Oh yeah. So we have a tradition every episode at the end. Um, we'll, you know, typically our host, it's
Heather: typically, yeah,
Courtney : he'll say skin side.
So I'll say skin side and we'll all go out.
Heather: That's [00:38:00] cute. Like it's our like, mic drop. She's like, that's so cringe. She's
Courtney : like,
Heather: I
Joe Woolworth: hate that.
Courtney : I love that for you, you have to do it. So I'll can't stand with that. So I, I wrote a nice line that will combine the finale of this with our, with our little, um, outro.
Are you ready? I'm ready. I've been practicing in the mirror. So here's to woman loving themselves a little more. Skin side and, oh,
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