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Real conversations about following Jesus when life doesn't slow down — from a pastor who's still figuring it out too.
What if the biggest mistake you're making isn't believing that God is silent, it's believing that you know what that silence means? Welcome into the God Made Podcast. We get together each week just to have a conversation about what it looks like to actually live life as a Christian, take scriptural principles, live them out. Because we know that even if you go to church on Sundays, Sunday doesn't fix everything. Walking this life as a Christian is still a really hard thing.
Greg:And one of the things that I think so many of us deal with, I know I've dealt with it. I think you've dealt with it. And, well, it's just a question. We'll ask for our viewers and and just kinda for us. Have you ever had a season in life where you wondered, is God even listening to me right now?
Kristi:Yes. Yes. The answer is yes.
Greg:Yes. The answer is yes. Yeah. I think it's pretty common.
Kristi:Oh, I do too. Yeah. I do too.
Greg:Why do you think it's such a common experience for people?
Kristi:I know in my personal walk, have always blamed it on me. So I think people probably are like, what am I doing wrong? What Do I have some sort of sin he's punishing me for? Or does he even care about my problems? Or, oh, don't know, am I praying right?
Kristi:There's all sorts of things I've told myself during those times. What what about you?
Greg:I think it I think a lot, and it's probably been this way for me. I think a lot of it is because at least in our culture, I don't know about around the rest of the world, and I don't know about past history, but I think today in our culture, nobody's transparent about their faith. So we only put the good stuff out. So we start to wonder if God's doing that for them or if things are going so well for them, why is it not going so well for me?
Kristi:That's an interesting
Greg:Well, in reality, it ain't going so well for them either.
Kristi:Right. Yeah. People tend to most people tend to hide hide the bad stuff and the things that they're struggling with unless it's, you know, somebody super close to them. So that's true. I mean, that's the whole social media thing.
Kristi:You put all the good pictures of your life on there and not the really
Greg:Yeah. It's not just social media. It's the church.
Kristi:Oh, no.
Greg:I mean, we do that on Sunday mornings.
Kristi:The the social media type world that
Greg:we That makes it even worse because you see everything out there, and you're like, okay. Why did God do that? But he didn't do that for me. And then we just I mean, it just kinda starts to bleed in. They seem like they have it all together.
Greg:Right. They seem like they love God and nothing's going wrong. Why can't I get there?
Kristi:Right.
Greg:And then you're praying for whatever it is. It could be something huge, like, you know, an issue going on in your life, or it could just be like normal everyday small stuff. Like, just, Lord, help me not to be stressed out today. And it doesn't seem like God's answering.
Kristi:So what
Greg:do we do? We kinda sit there and think, does he care? Is he listening to this at all?
Kristi:Yeah. I've I've been there. I know I know what you're saying. You you just sit there and you mull on. I mean, and going back to the I always just blame myself, is I'm doing something wrong, but that might just be me.
Kristi:I don't know.
Greg:So what is like, what kind of emotional toll does that take on us?
Kristi:Well, depends on how you view it. I mean, it's it causes more stress, really. For me, at least, you you're just wringing your hands like, why is he not answering me? But if you shift your attitude and stop just asking thinking about it, not getting answers for things, but if you shift it to like, I'm still staying connected to God. Yeah.
Kristi:That type of attitude, you can really grow in it.
Greg:Yeah. So how many times do you think for me, it's like every time I'm in this situation. How many times do you think, am I the only one who's struggling with this?
Kristi:Yeah. I I mean, the only one maybe struggling with that, the whole general thing of feeling like God's silent. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I I've never really thought that I was the only one.
Kristi:So sorry if that ruined your question. Yeah. I mean,
Greg:what I mean, I look amongst my pastoral peers and family members and friends, and sometimes it doesn't seem like they're struggling. So you kinda wonder, am I the only one who's struggling with this? And it goes back to what we were talking about a minute ago. Nobody's really Yeah. Being fully transparent with all of it.
Greg:You know? It's probably not as big a deal now as it was in my younger years, but I still get there. You know? I mean, I look at other other churches and other pastors and what they're what success they're having. And there's a a pastor friend of of mine and kinda yours who, you know, they planted their church a year before us, and they're seeing all kinds of success.
Greg:And I kinda look back and like, okay. God's not answering my prayer. Yeah. But then I talked to him about him, oh, six or eight weeks ago, and he was like, not as great as you think it is. Yeah.
Greg:There's all kinds of issues that he's dealing with that I I don't want. We're just dealing with different issues, and his are Yeah. Bigger.
Kristi:Yeah. I think that comparing thing, it just depends on the person because so I I can't really relate relate to that as as much, and some things I can't, when we were going through all the infertility stuff.
Greg:Yeah, like we talked about in the last episode.
Kristi:Yeah, and I knew personally about in the church we were in then, I think it was 10 different women who were pregnant. Yeah. And I'm like, hello? Yeah. But, you know?
Greg:Yeah. I mean, it can be so many different things. It can be like just kinda looking and seeing what success is, thinking about children, health, finances, all kinds of different things. But we all, I think, if any Christian says they never get there, they are not being fully honest. So I guess, I mean, I want to encourage anyone who's watching or listening to this that if you've ever felt that way, you are not alone.
Greg:No. We've all been there. Your pastor, whether it's me or someone else, they have been there more often than they like to admit or probably even share. So so what happens? When we misunderstand God's silence and we think we got it all figured out or think maybe God is being absent, what happens?
Greg:What kind of stories do we start telling ourselves? For me, it'd be like, maybe he doesn't care as much as I thought he did, or maybe I've just totally got this all wrong and my calling's wrong, or what I thought God wanted me to do was wrong. I mean, what what how would you answer that? What are some stories you've told yourself when God feels silent?
Kristi:Well, I I alluded to a few earlier that maybe God's disappointed in me, and he doesn't want to to give me that or to solve that problem I have. Or maybe I'm, you know, there's not really a correct way to talk to God, you know, a form, you just empty your heart, but maybe I'm I'm not asking in the right way, maybe and things like that. Yeah. I've told myself all sorts of
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:Crazy lies.
Greg:I think the biggest one, so many of us say, well, maybe prayer just doesn't work. Yeah. Maybe it worked for them. It ain't working for me, so I'm gonna give up on this.
Kristi:Yeah. Or a lot of times you feel too distant from God. You've drifted away, and you think, well, I I haven't stayed in close contact with him. I haven't
Greg:He didn't wanna talk me now. Yeah.
Kristi:Yeah. He's he's punishing me for Yeah.
Greg:Why why does our mind go there? It's kind of a natural we just kinda throw in the towel sometimes, don't we?
Kristi:Wouldn't that be a a nice thing for for the enemy to keep us away from prayer, to give us these I don't know how that all works, but our self hatred that we all have it, some of it, it just flares up.
Greg:So can you look back at a time where you've been in that and then look back on it now and say, that was totally I was totally wrong. Oh, yeah. God was talking the whole time. Maybe you want what I wanted to hear. Is there a specific situation you can share?
Greg:Or
Kristi:Why don't you?
Greg:Well, I mean, I mean, if if anybody's been following our podcast at all or listen to us, they they know our big one was probably our our children.
Kristi:Yeah.
Greg:And if they've not been following us, we can just share briefly what it was. We tried for so many years to have kids, went through the whole fertility thing, nothing seemed to work. Miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage. Pursued adoption. That was too expensive.
Greg:So we pursued foster care, adoption through foster care. God answered a prayer through that, then you got pregnant, then you miscarried that one, and we were also angry.
Kristi:You're going very fast.
Greg:Well, I'm just trying to give a brief overview because we talked about it just last week.
Kristi:I know. And it seems like we talk about it so much, but
Greg:like I said It is such a pivotal pivotal part Right. Of who we are and what we do and why we even do this, why we even do what we do.
Kristi:Oh, during all that, I I was, you know, it it is really, really easy to get mad at God. And now all these years later, looking back, I'm so thankful that it happened that way.
Greg:So we were lying to ourselves that whole time.
Kristi:Oh yeah.
Greg:Because God was there, God was working, God was active, and we just looked at it and said, He's not.
Kristi:Yeah, I read something, said we can only see today, but God sees the whole story. Yeah. And it's not that He's not answering our prayer, it's He wants what's best for us, and that's maybe not what we want. Yeah. You know, what we think we want.
Kristi:We're we're we're really kinda like spoiled children. We want it now.
Greg:Speak for yourself.
Kristi:Well, I We are.
Greg:We are.
Kristi:We want it now. We want it when we want. We want what we think we want. I mean, it's it's kind of
Greg:Yeah. So if the way we feel about it, our feelings about how God is not present or he doesn't care, all that if that's not accurate, let's look at what scripture actually says. We we had a scripture highlighted for this, and that's that's Psalm 13. Excuse me. So I'm gonna read it, and then we'll we'll kinda discuss this.
Greg:In Psalm 13, I think David wrote this Psalm. He says, oh, Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? You think of David, you think, King David or warrior David or however you look at him.
Greg:Most people look at it. They don't expect David to pray a prayer like
Kristi:this.
Greg:You forgot about me. Verse two, it says, how long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, oh lord, my god. Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die.
Greg:Don't let my enemies gloat saying, we have defeated him. Don't let them rejoice at my downfall, but I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me. What's what first stands out to you when you read that?
Kristi:He's very honest, and he's not trying to be all, oh, you know, he was real proper. He's like, how
Greg:Where are at? God.
Kristi:How long are you gonna forget me? Come you know, it's just like a conversation with a
Greg:Why do you keep
Kristi:doing of the creator of the universe. Yeah.
Greg:Yeah. That's kinda me too. That's what jumps out is he is so raw in that. But then you get towards the end Mhmm. And he says, I still trust you.
Kristi:Right. Yeah. It's so his attitude changes at the beginning. He's why you've forgotten me. How long are you gonna forget me?
Kristi:But at the end, he was but I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
Greg:Yeah. I think it's such an important thing Mhmm. Because he still has that trust. And notice, he felt like God wasn't talking to
Kristi:him,
Greg:but he kept going. He never gave up. So I think David, with all David's flaws, if you know David's stories, he was not a perfect man, but he was chasing after God. God said, he's after my own heart. I think we need to learn a lesson from that.
Greg:You feel like he's absent, keep going to God. Maybe, you know, I talk to so many people who say it's just this continuous monotonous prayer. I keep saying the same words over and over and over again. That's okay. Keep going to God because he's there and he's listening.
Greg:And David says, I still trust you.
Kristi:Right.
Greg:Really, it's such a powerful psalm when you think about it. And when you really think about it in the middle of it all, sometimes God is in the middle of changing you through whatever the prayer is and whatever you're dealing with, which I think you can look at our whole trying to have kids thing, God was changing us before he ever dealt with the circumstance or what we were we were praying for and dealing with.
Kristi:Yeah. It's transforming and changing us, and I was thinking about David, you know, sometimes people are like, I've been praying this for a month and nothing, but I don't know if that particular psalm was before he was king, but was studying how he became king and everything here recently, and he was anointed king by Samuel when he was a teenager. Yeah. And he didn't become king, and Saul quit, you know, trying to kill him until he was 30.
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:And so for all those years, he knew that he was the anointed king.
Greg:But he still wasn't the king.
Kristi:But he wasn't the king. And I mean, that's a long time. That's a real long time. And he was running for his life because Saul was trying to kill him. And mean, just looking at that, and he still kept that hope and that faith in God while he was running for his life and hiding from him.
Greg:Yeah. We we need to follow that example. And then you kinda look also, Psalm 22, Jesus quotes that on the cross. He says, my lord, my lord, why have you forsaken me? Mhmm.
Greg:And I know there's there's some debate on how Jesus was quoting that. Some scholars think he was quoting it as reverting just scripture, and you you talked about we were talking about that before we started recording. And some some others believe that he was really looking at God saying, why are you turning your back on me? But he wasn't. Was quoting David.
Greg:David wrote that psalm, so he's kinda quoting what David was saying. Not kinda. He was quoting what David was saying, but but even as it applied to Jesus, as he's hanging there on the cross for us, and he looks. And even if he didn't think his that the father was abandoning him, there was still such a burden on him at that time. Just the weight of all the sin of the world for all time, for all humanity was such a heavy burden that man, it was it's had had to be such a crushing thing.
Greg:I don't think any of us can even dream about what that that looked like for him. And he's hanging there on the cross, and he says, my god, my god, why have you forsaken me? You go go back to the prayer he prayed in the garden when he said, if there's any any other way, Yeah. Not my will, but yours. Gosh.
Greg:So much so much in in in just that narrative of of the passion leading up to the cross should be an example for us how to live out our life because God was present through all of
Kristi:it. Mhmm.
Greg:God was looking down on on God the father looking down on God the son through all of it, probably overwhelmed with with grief himself. I mean
Kristi:Oh, yeah. I mean He
Greg:knew the end. He knew how it was gonna play out, but still just having to see that happen.
Kristi:I mean, just look at it on a smaller scale, because we we are not God, and and we can't love like God. But when your own children are going through things, and you know they've got to go through them, and it's crushing your spirit, because you want to fix it for them, but you know the end result is is better, and they have to they have to go through that to get to that that victory at the end.
Greg:Yeah. Well, as we kinda wrap up this episode, just trying to think about what what's a sentence that that I hope that anyone who's listening or watching this would take away.
Kristi:Mhmm.
Greg:And I think it would be this, and I I've heard other pastors say it. It's not original to us. God's silence is does not equal God's absence.
Kristi:Right.
Greg:Just because you don't hear him doesn't mean he's not working. Just because you don't get the response that you want doesn't mean he's not answering the prayer. God always answers prayer. Just not always
Kristi:Yeah.
Greg:Not always obviously, not always now, and not always in the way we want him to.
Kristi:Yeah. I I've heard this not too long ago. There are no unanswered prayers. And I think you may have said this before too. He either answers no, he answers yes, or he answers not yet.
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:And he's not ignoring you. When you're his child, he's not ignoring you, but he knows what's best. Yeah. It's
Greg:Yeah. You you can kinda look at it like I mean, God in scripture, it talks about the fruit of the believer, the fruit of the spirit in our life, and how that needs to come out in us as evidence of our our faith in Christ. But you think about what that illustration is and you think about a a plant, a tree, or whatever is growing fruit, there's so much is going on underneath the surface Mhmm. Before the fruit ever comes out.
Kristi:Right.
Greg:It's the same with our prayer life. There is stuff happening below the surface that we don't see happening that in the end, it's gonna grow fruit in our life. Right. Sometimes it's exactly what you prayed for, and sometimes it's the total opposite It could be of what you prayed for.
Kristi:Distorted from what you prayed for, but it's not a distortion. It's what needed to happen for you.
Greg:Well, let's give one handle that that people can take away that that's listening to this this week. What can we do this week in order to to try to draw closer to God and to acknowledge that his absence doesn't or his silence does not mean his absence? I think the first thing is just being transparent with God, You know? Like David. Just be honest, God.
Greg:This kinda sucks. We're at. I need an answer right now.
Kristi:Yeah. It's like God said David was a man after his how's it word? After his own heart. And when you look, David wrote a lot of psalms, but when you look back at this guy who was going through all of that, read that Psalm every day, was it Psalm 13? Is that what it was?
Kristi:Read it every day, God have you forgotten me, and look at the transition toward the end where He is still trusting, and just mimic that in your own life, and just be thankful that you've got God to even lean on. I I can't mean, imagine people when when they were having some problem dilemma, and they don't have God to go to Yeah. How crushing
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:And hopeless they must feel. Yeah.
Greg:I would say one application point for this week, and there's so many we could do, but but one that I really like, that's helped me in the past is if you feel like God is being silent and not answering your prayer, why don't you spend the rest of this week and don't ask him for anything? Go to pray every single day and just say one thing you're thankful for. Mhmm. That's it. And if you if you do that, God just starts for me anyways, it starts to change your outlook and realizing, no.
Greg:He's may not be answering this prayer that I've been begging, but he's doing so much in my life right now. Mhmm. So this week, if you are watching this and you're in that season right now where you're struggling or you're listening to this, this week, just every single day, pray that prayer. God, I am thankful for and fill in the blank. It could be a simple thing like I'm thankful for my health or my family or my job or maybe it's a big thing that that God has blessed you with.
Greg:But this week, don't ask him for anything. If you feel like he's being silent just this week, God, thank you for and then fill in the blank. We got we're doing the podcast a little differently now, changing up this format. So we actually have another episode that's gonna come out in just a couple of days. In that episode, we are actually going to dig into how do you keep praying when God feels like he's silent.
Greg:So come back. That's gonna come out on Friday. So if you're on YouTube or if you're following us on one of the audio podcast platforms, that episode should be out on Friday morning. So I encourage you to come, and then we're gonna get into some more practical steps. So that's the God Made Podcast for this week.
Greg:We'll be back with you in a couple of days. Hopefully, God has spoken to you. And if he has, I encourage you, please subscribe, like this video, or, share this podcast, and, share it with somebody else that you know is going through the struggle at the same time. Until next time, couple of days later, that's the God Made Podcast, and we will see you soon.