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No more stress ever!
Wanna fast with us next week? Join our fasting community.
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Wanna fast with us next week? Join our fasting community.
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Creators & Guests
What is Perfect Mode?
"Perfect Mode" invites you on a transformative odyssey to discover the extraordinary within the ordinary. Hosted by the dynamic duo of JClay, a rapper with a spiritual twist, and Troy Washington, a realtor with a mindset of abundance, this podcast is a sanctuary for those seeking to elevate their existence. Together, they explore the realms of personal growth, mental clarity, and spiritual enlightenment, offering unfiltered insights into living a life unchained by societal expectations. Tune in for your weekly dose of inspiration and embark on a journey to align with your highest self.
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations.
JClay:I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:What up? What up? What up? Welcome to perfect mode. First off, let me start by telling y'all that we love y'all.
Troy Washington:We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, in helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can unapologetically say that without any reservation is because I know that you are one of 1 numero uno. You cannot be replicated, duplicated. And the only reason, and I mean the only reason that you would think that you're not perfect, is if you're looking at this person on the side of you and saying, I'm not them, but you are you, and that's all you need. And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor.
Troy Washington:And I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher, and we're about to get on here and talk about unlocking your inner calm. The inner calm, the one that's on the inside, mastering stress in the pursuit of perfection. What up, Jay? Yeah.
JClay:What up? Happy day. Happy Sunday on this beautiful day of days. And, yeah, man. It's it's another perfect day to to talk about some good stuff.
JClay:I wanna say shout out to our Patreon. Shout out to Jeff. Appreciate you real quick. And yeah. Yeah.
JClay:Check out our Patreon. Check it out, man. Join it. Be able to vote on show topics, all of that good stuff. And so this week is special because our 3 day water fast is coming up.
JClay:And we still we still do the the Monday fast or the 24 hour fast from when you last ate today. We got the we got a quick break. Like, you can get a a couple meals in, and then you start back the 3 day fast. So I'm I'm excited about that, but, go ahead.
Troy Washington:No, man. Like, I'm glad you so the crazy thing and I know this is gonna be a little side, you know, bar from my conversation, But I am glad that you brought up the fast, and the the reason why is because I have been looking forward to it. Every single time at this time of the month, I'm always looking forward to the fast. Like, my not not, like, mentally, it's like my body is like, okay. When you gonna give me a break?
Troy Washington:When you gonna give me a break? And, the other, other thought that I wanted to talk to you about real quick is because we fast every Sunday and then we do the 3 day fast, I'm starting to sit back and ask myself a question when I'm just chilling. Like, can I eat right now? Like, I'm reminding myself that I can eat on a more consistent basis than I've been eating. But, yeah, man.
Troy Washington:That's that's just my thoughts. I want to let you know.
JClay:Yeah. So so real quick before we jump in into this topic, with the fast, the reason I I know it's time for 1 is, like, I started getting indecisive about what I wanna eat. And it's crazy. Like like, after a fast, I know exactly what I wanna eat. I know when I'm a eat.
JClay:I know, like, I know everything about the food I'm gonna eat and what what's chosen, but I don't know. Like, when I when I'm indecisive, I'm not really that hungry. I'm just eating because I'm going through the motions and it's all of that. So I I just know that it's it's time for it.
Troy Washington:Yeah, man. I'm looking forward to it. Now to the topic, bro, like, unlocking your intercom, mastering stress in the pursuit of perfection. And I'm gonna tell you why this thing hit home so so so much. And I'm a tell you the reason why I feel like it can be a challenge for people.
Troy Washington:So number 1, we didn't have a show last week. Shouts out, to, you know, having perfect mode vacations. We get to do that now since we've been going forward, going on 5 years strong. But one thing that I realized was changing my routine, I e not doing perfect mode, put me in a state of unease. And so what I was trying to do the entire week unlock my intercom.
Troy Washington:Meaning to quiet all the noise of knowing that not doing perfect mode and then domino effect, not doing a number of other things was okay. Because I was sitting in what I felt like a calm place, but I was not calmly acting. I was not calm mentally. I was not calm emotionally. And so I found myself trying to release and relinquish all ties and hold to anything that made me feel like I needed to do anything.
Troy Washington:And, you know, it just it's just funny that something so small is not doing the show. Sent me on a whirlwind, not necessarily in a bad way, but in a place where it made me recognize my intercom and try to quiet out the noise on the outside. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Well, even before that, like, I I I like to get into what things are, like stress, like, what what is stress? I I remember being a kid and I remember I first started hearing the word stress about people are stressed and I I couldn't figure out what it meant. I think I asked people and it just didn't make sense
Troy Washington:to me.
JClay:And it's funny just looking through that through the
Troy Washington:eyes of
JClay:a kid. Stress wouldn't make sense because you you're all about fun. You're you're allowed to play. You're allowed to do things. And it isn't until you become, you know, firm in your adulthood of maybe not doing what you always wanna do that you can understand what stress is.
JClay:So if you had to define it, what would you say stress is?
Troy Washington:Being worried about things that you shouldn't worry about. That's what I that's how I look at it. Like, just using and and I wanna tell you about my dad here in a little bit. But just using this past week as my example, There are things that I do for my clients that are time sensitive. I will always do those things no matter what.
Troy Washington:But there are things that are involved in my everyday life that are not time sensitive, but they have a time that I've put on them myself for whatever reason. Yeah. And so in this week where I was trying to relinquish and let go of all the things that would be something that I've set for myself to do, what I found sitting in that space was me worried about doing the things that I would want to have done based off of timelines that I've set for myself. And then in thinking and worrying about those things, starting to build a case for what it meant by me not doing it, which in turn caused stress. So that's the reason why I say we're being worried about things that don't necessary.
Troy Washington:Like, nothing really matters in the in the grand scheme of things. You can literally sit back and say none of this stuff really matters, but we know that we don't generally do that. So I'll say being worried about things that you don't wanna worry about in the time that you don't wanna worry about them. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. Similarly, I I would say stress in the sense is is overthinking, and it it's it's kinda built on false beliefs. Like, it's built on the belief that either you have to do something. So, yeah, it's it's kinda rooted in fear that you're you're stressed about something because either you think it might not plan out how you think it should be or you think that it has to be done within a certain amount of time or else x, y, z will happen, which is still kind of future based, still plan still overthinking based on a fearful outcome.
JClay:And when you look at it like that, like, it's like I'm I'm I'm being stressed about something that's not really here right now. Something that's a a mind constraint that's happening, and I'm I'm being worried about it. I'm being scared about it when really there's nothing to be afraid about when we can just address it head on. And I'll give an example. So one of the main things that led to us not doing perfect mode last week was I was I was doing a side quest, so to speak.
JClay:I was I was working on something. I was getting a lot done more than on a big project that I hadn't worked on in a long time. And to switch mindsets, I could do it, but it was just like it it I started feeling the the quote unquote stress about that. And I was like, man, I gotta gotta switch mindsets. I gotta get into to this form when I I I wasn't in it, and I kinda wanna see this through.
JClay:But so I I I went to I came to Troy. I was like, well, how you feel about this week? I I you told him that the deal, and he was like, well, no. I'm I'm cool with we just, you know, we take one of these vacation days that we say. Because, you know, we do every Sunday.
JClay:And we we allowed ourselves to to maybe do 40 out of 52 Sundays this year. But, in that, like, me coming to you, the stress was instantly relieved because it's like, well, instead of being stressful about it, we'll first find out if this is even real. Find out, do you do you have to switch mindset? And and again, there's nothing wrong with switching mindsets. It it would have been nothing wrong with me doing an episode of perfect mode because it always brings me just extra joy.
JClay:But it it was just the the point of me making something that is joyful to be a stressful thing because of the the circumstances surrounding it, and it really just didn't have to be that serious.
Troy Washington:So I love the fact that you said understanding what's real. Like, let me see what's really real. And that's the thing that I feel found that I was able to do during the week. But not only that, a lot of times we do these things that we don't even recognize we're doing it. So when I start to think back about times where I was stressed, and this is aside from last week, times when I was stressed, I would literally ask myself, what am I worried about this thing for?
Troy Washington:What's the worst that could happen? And if that happens, what is really gonna be the outcome? You know, I I would literally ask myself these questions. So just kinda give you a real life example, there was a time when I could not pay my mortgage. Right?
Troy Washington:And, you know, when you can't pay your mortgage, you get, you know, you get a notice. Hey. You know, you need to pay this by this time. Then you get the next notice that might be yellow, and they'd be like, hey. You better pay this by this time.
Troy Washington:And then the third one is a red one that's saying if you don't pay this by this time, we're gonna get you up at this month. Right? And so I've been there. And so in this time, I remember when the white paper came, I was like, dang. Stressed.
Troy Washington:Oh, am I gonna be able to pay this now? Mind you, I want to talk about channeling that that you feel into something different. But nonetheless, I was able to sit and be like, okay, man. What if I cannot get this money next month? And then when next month came, the yellow note came, and I was like, dang.
Troy Washington:What if I can't get this money this time? And then and and so all of these negative thoughts are going through my head. Like, I'm a be out. My kids gonna be right here. My wife gonna be tripping.
Troy Washington:Just all these different things. So now not only am I worried about the issue at hand, I'm worried about a whole bunch of other stuff that's not real either. I'm thinking about kids. Like, I didn't made up an entire world that's not even real. So that's the reason why I point to the fact of you saying I had to you have to recognize what's real.
Troy Washington:So when the red notice came, I told myself, let's talk about what's real. I have my family. We have something to eat today. We got cars to get to where we where we're going to. And not only that, I have opportunity to make the money that I need in order to pay these things.
Troy Washington:Now when it's going to happen, I don't know. Will I be able to get it by the time they put me out? I don't know. But what I do know is in this present time, I have every opportunity and all the tools necessary in order make it happen. And so what I did was I stopped sitting back and worrying and I and I'm not gonna act like I got up and just did a a a number of things that made a crazy amount of money come in.
Troy Washington:What ended up happening was a check came in the mail. It's funny. And it's not something that I had not worked for before. It's just something that I had forgot about because time had passed. And so funny enough, by the time that mortgage had to be paid, a check came that may help me pay to catch everything up.
Troy Washington:And it was just like, dang. Had I not stopped myself at a point from living through the worry, there's a lot of other things that coulda came from that as well. IE me being health wise not right. IE me taking the stress out on my family. And so, again, worrying about something that I shouldn't have worried about at the time is a big deal, and I think that's where that stress comes from.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and it's a well, I I wanna touch on a couple of things you said. So one about the recognizing what's real. 1st is, like, if, yeah, if you don't worry, worry about something that's real. Like like, don't don't worry about what's not.
JClay:Like, at at least I'm not saying not to worry. Well, I am kinda saying that. But if you're going to worry, make sure it's something real. Verify that. But, but but secondly, I I had a conversation with with somebody this morning about, like, how we sometimes we pigeonhole ourselves into one form of outcome or resolution for a situation.
JClay:And, like, using your example as an example, you were thinking about how you were going to pay for your mortgage instead of just your your mortgage being alright. And I and I and I guess the difference in in it is for you to pay for your mortgage. Like, you you have to have the money to pay for it. But sometimes things happen where not only checks just come to you, but your mortgage, you might say, oh, there's a bank error in your favor. Blah blah blah.
JClay:Like, I've had things happen to me like that before unexpectedly because you can't really expect those things. But our our creative power has an effect on the world that we live in. Now we might not always realize it that way, but when we when we say there's only one answer for this to to come through, one one solution that this can have, we narrow our field when everything has a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 solutions if we just allow it to be, and we'll get there. And I wanna read what, Loretta said. Loretta sharing group.
JClay:Good for you, Troy. Shout out to Loretta. I think I think she's gonna be on next week. We'll confirm soon, but yeah. Yeah.
JClay:Shout
Troy Washington:out. No. No. And and and I and I like that too when you say, you know, instead of worrying your pet by paying it, just knowing that it's gonna be okay. And funny enough, that's kind of the mentality that I came to because the thing that I had to tell myself was and I think that's what became my focus was no matter what happens with the mortgage, everything is gonna be okay.
Troy Washington:And and and that was everything that I was worried about because, again, something as little as worrying about a mortgage caused me to worry about a million other things. And so and and and all those 1000000 other things were not real. They were not even real they weren't even things that have even come to pass at that point. And I think that's the kind of the domino effect that we get into even when if you use work as the example. When you have a big assignment that comes to the table when you work in a corporate America or even if you're working for yourself, you have a big, file that comes across your desk.
Troy Washington:If there's any reluctance on being able to get that job done, you start to think about the ramifications or all the problems that's gonna come by you not being able to complete it. My boss is gonna do this. Oh, they're gonna miss it like all of these different things. They're gonna look at me. You know, it's gonna be all these different things that come up.
Troy Washington:But one thing that I know that you used to do when you were working, you talk about it all the time was I just be like, you know what? I don't wanna do this right now, and we're not advocating for anybody to pull the j Clay. But you just always knew that it was gonna get took care of. Right? So you was like, I don't wanna do that.
Troy Washington:It's gonna get took care of, and that's what essentially always happened. And the funny thing about it is even in that example, in most cases, in my life, anytime I stopped thinking about whatever it was and the the key here is knowing that it was going to be taken care of, it got taken care of. Because there are things that I didn't know was gonna be taken care of, and they didn't get taken care of. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So I I wanna read one more thing Loretta said. She said stress usually results from stepping out of the present moment into an illusory future into an illusory future moment that usually never happens. So true. So true.
JClay:And one one one funny thought that I had when you were talking, Troy, was sometimes even those opportunities where we block ourselves even happen for a reason. So and and I guess the best example is if let's say right now you like, let let's say somebody's mortgage is due, but something comes up like an opportunity for fun. It's like, man, I gotta pay my mortgage. I I can't pay for this this fun thing, but that energy that's created when you pay for that fun thing, leads you to more money for not only for your mortgage and this fun thing, but even more. But had you never put yourself in that situation, you wouldn't have been awarded that opportunity to see what you're capable of.
JClay:Now I'm not saying go spend all your money, spend your savings account, just do that and just live on the edge. But if you're feeling called to do that, do that too. Like, be be open to the idea because, like, as we said, things have always worked out. If we work if we work to go in time and look at the past, things continuously work out in ways that we cannot explain. We're like, I don't know how this happened.
JClay:I don't know where this check came from. I don't know where this this thing that never happens happened this one time. Like, it always happens. And are we willing to test
Troy Washington:that? So here's the thing. And this is just my mentality on it all. The the the the the the thing that you're saying is things always work out. And I I I 100% agree with that.
Troy Washington:But I would go even as far as to say that everything always works out because you have already worked them out. Now the reason why I say that is because you gotta ask yourself a question. Why am I sitting right here right now? Because I put myself here. Now you can say god woke me up and gave me an opportunity to put myself here.
Troy Washington:But once I woke up, the reason why I'm sitting in this place is because I put myself here. So that would also mean that anytime an opportunity using the example that you gave, like, I got rent due, and I got this big opportunity in front of me for fun, whatever the case be. Now why did this opportunity present itself? Because I put myself I've worked this all out for me to be here. Not only that, I've also worked out a way for me to pay my bills, but I haven't recognized it yet.
Troy Washington:Now I think that's where coming back to unlock your inner calm played its biggest role because there's when you can recognize what's real. Like, number 1, somebody would say that they can't start a business that has started businesses their whole life.
JClay:Yeah. If you
Troy Washington:look at the facts, and that's why I say recognizing what's real, like, you gotta look at the facts. How did I ever even come to the point where I could pay any mortgage? What did I do? Can that be replicated, duplicated? Is there anything that's a resistance to me from doing it?
Troy Washington:No. There is not because I've done it over and over again. Now what's happening to me is there's an opportunity for something new in front of me. Now let's talk about the real. Can I pay for this right now?
Troy Washington:Yes. I can. Have I have I been able to come up with a way to pay my mortgage before? Yes. I have.
Troy Washington:There's no problem. But the problem is that the choice and me saying that I make the choice is going to make me come up short when I haven't taken the time to realize the truth and realize that I can replicate whatever it is again and whatever means I need to to get it done. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So so so in that in unlocking your inner calm, the the first step is just to verify. Like like, find out what's true. What's really true? Second is verify further.
JClay:Like, what what would happen if this didn't happen? Like, in your case, what would happen if you didn't pay your mortgage? And and going down that rabbit hole, like, can you handle that? Would you be willing to handle that? Is there more that you can do so that that wouldn't happen?
JClay:And how much faith do you have in that? And if not, if you if you have no faith, why even pursue that route as a viable option? Like, it's so many things to go into place, but one simple is one simple thing is just to take a moment to breathe. And I and I know, like, that sounds so simple. Like, what's breathing gonna do?
JClay:Breathing does everything. That one breath that you take, like, that one lasting moment because a breath is grounding in the present moment. And anything that you're worried about, anything that you're stressed about is still future based. And it could be future based based on your perception of the past, but still it's future based. And by breathing in, you're being in the now.
JClay:And I want I I can't tell you how many special things happened in those breathing moments.
Troy Washington:I can tell you how many how many unspecial things happened happened in those in those moments. You know how many times taking a breath have caused me to not go over the the the end or the edge or stop me from having a pen like, literally just taking my giving myself a moment to ground myself and recognize that I'm here and I'm real is is beyond important. And I I I did I I mean, I agree with you. I think that's one of the most important things when it come to recognizing your inner come because you can weed out all the noise. And that's what I had to do this week.
Troy Washington:I literally told myself because I didn't do perfect mode. I was not as, you know, productive or as free or, you know, I you can call it whatever you wanna call it. But, nonetheless, by the end of the week before we even came up with this topic, I had to free myself and tell myself the truth again, and that from me shutting up. And I mean, literally shutting up my mind because I wasn't talking, you know, physically, but I literally had to tell myself, why am I Troy, why are you acting as if you're less than anything that you are because you didn't do something? Why are you feeling like these things have to be done today?
Troy Washington:What's gonna happen if they don't get done today? If they do happen today, what's gonna happen? And so I started to run down a list of what I was real. And then once I was able to internalize really what's real, I feel free. I felt like, okay.
Troy Washington:Well, there is no limitation. Okay. Well, I'm not missing nothing. Okay. I am more happy, And I think that's important, like, just being able to, you know, recognize and that come the truth.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And I was I was thinking about that that breath more and how I've gotten extra perks from taking a breath. Like, have you ever been in a situation where you may have perceived that something wrong happened to you and you were addressing the the person or entity or company that that happened with them and they were talking about things. And and there were times where I'll just take a breath just to just to really think about what was being said, think about being relation to it. And in that that breath, the other person couldn't take the silence, and they just start throwing out stuff.
JClay:And I'm like, oh, I like and me being silent, like, if I would've just came out and yelled and I did this and blah blah blah blah blah blah and just kept talking and filling that silence, these resolutions might not have happened. And the the the beauty of life is that's that's how it's meant to be. Like, we we we go into something, we play, we jump we jump in the pool, we jump in the water, then we relax. We we take a we can't take a breath in the water. But you but if you're drowning, if you relax and take a breath for a second, you have the energy to not drown anymore in a sense.
JClay:I've been in that situation too. But it's something about that pause moment. Take a pause no matter what situation you're
Troy Washington:in. Bro, I know you've seen this before. I know that you have. Have you ever seen some people getting ready to fight but don't fight? And the one thing that I would tell you that's a common fixture with all of these people that that I've seen this happen before, including myself.
Troy Washington:When I wasn't able to calm down, I was breathing heavy like, and I I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't, I couldn't get myself my breathing under control. I couldn't relax. I couldn't and again, this is without a fight. This is without actually going through the fight. And I've seen this with many people before that they cannot get their breath under control.
Troy Washington:Therefore, they cannot get themselves under control, including myself. And the reason why I point that out is because that just goes to show you how important the breath is. So you're telling me this person hasn't even thought yet. Their their body is hyperventilating in a sense. They can't breathe.
Troy Washington:They can't catch their breath. Well, that's the that's the cause for the emotions to be high. That's the reason why there is no come, and that's the reason why you cannot master this current situation. What go ahead. What did you miss AJ?
JClay:I was laughing because I I was just thinking, like, how unpleasant it would be to just be next to somebody that's breathing hard for no reason. Like, they didn't just run or didn't do any physical activity. They're just breathing hard. He's like, you you alright, man?
Troy Washington:Bro, that's how you would be. You would literally be like, are you good, bro? You need you need do you need something right now? Yeah. But but but but again, you know, this is this is the funniest thing about this whole thing.
Troy Washington:I use the overdramatic person that cannot get cum as the example, but I'm gonna use the calm person that's still not able to recognize and master their income as an example too. And you can recognize this in yourself. I I don't know. Oh, I I put I put like this. I've recognized this in myself.
Troy Washington:I'm not gonna say what anybody else can recognize. But what I will tell you is there are times when I could be sitting down, and I probably might you might think that I'm the calmest person on the planet, but I'm not breathing. I'm sitting down because my mind is on whatever it is. I'm holding my breath. Similar to when you're working out and things get tough for you, some people hold their breath versus releasing and inhaling and releasing to keep themselves in a state of calm.
Troy Washington:And, again, I have had to catch myself and be like, while I'm thinking about something, but, like, take a breath. And I take a deep breath to bring myself back to reality. But, again, that just go to show you, how not being able to unlock that adversely affects your body. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And I and I'll I'll say one more thing on breath just to just bring it home. Like, we don't realize the the the role breath plays because you're breathing in what's outside of you and what's inside of you, you're giving it to the world. So it's like, it's a it's a constant collaboration. The the world that you see that you're stressed about is you.
JClay:It's really it came from you breathing it out, but also you get to be a part of it as well. And and I think that's why it's it's it's important to focus on your breath. Like, when you're doing yoga or you're doing meditation, they always tell you breathe. Even when you're working out, they say breathe. Make sure you breathe.
JClay:Because it is it's important to be you're at your best when you're one with everything. And the only way to really be one is to be constantly taking in and letting go. Taking in what serves you in this moment, letting go what doesn't, and and breathing and with conscious breathing allows you to do that.
Troy Washington:Real talk. You remember I don't know if was this Fresh Prince? 321.
JClay:What's the name of the the That
Troy Washington:was Ergo. Right? What the heck is bothering me? Like, it's a joke because it's the truth. But, I I I definitely would cosign, you know, cosign j, when he said, you know, breathe.
Troy Washington:You know, you gotta be able to relax that stuff out of you. And then, again, that that was a shout to Family Matters, man. 321 123. What the heck is bothering me, man?
JClay:It's funny. Like, I can see how that could be annoying too to to have to say that, but it it it really does work. So switching gears a bit because I know we're we're calling this unlocking your intercom, mastering stress in the pursuit of perfection. So, like, like, stress again by itself is nothing. It it doesn't exist.
JClay:Like, yeah, I'm just channeling my child, me, trying to figure out what is this stress thing everybody's worried about. It's tied to an idea that you have, which could be the pursuit of perfection, which, you know, we talk about all the time. You're already perfect, so there's nothing to pursue there. But because we forget this, we assign hidden value to extra elements, extra things, and we say, okay. If I'm not hitting these benchmarks set by this ideal that I I I've held on to, I'm stressed because I gotta do it now.
JClay:In fact, I should've did this last week or years ago. I'm behind the curve, and we're we're letting all these things compile and shape our reality when, again, we haven't even verified that these are these things are true, and it it it's not.
Troy Washington:Yeah. Real talk. Real talk. Honestly, you know, just bringing this home, that's one of the biggest parts of my life that I am always the most unhappy about because it happened so much in the spur of the moment. And what I mean by that, it doesn't take anything to trigger it.
Troy Washington:So, you know, I I've used this example before just driving down the street and somebody cutting you off in traffic. And immediately, you know, though nothing happened to me, the first thing that I can imagine is it happening to me. How mad I would have been, what I would do if I can say something to this person, and then, you know, the the the domino effect that it would have had on other people. But funny enough, I've literally witnessed it from my wife, from my friends, from, you know, other people around me that have come to me. It was like, man, let me tell you what happened today.
Troy Washington:Man, this dude almost cut me off in traffic. They would hit me, man. If they woulda hit me, man, everybody in the call would have been messed up. And I was boy, I woulda went crazy, And I would've sued them. And it's this whole and again, I'm saying it's not capping on anybody.
Troy Washington:I would never cap on anybody because these are these are emotions that I've felt myself and expressed myself to somebody down the line. But just being able to recognize when you hop on that whirlwind of a story that's not real, and then, again, have these unrealist realistic expectations. And I I I guess I shouldn't call them unrealistic expectations when when we're talking about because whatever your expectation is for yourself is your expectation. But being so hard and set on a goal that doesn't allow any movement for yourself to make you feel outside of yourself is really a thing. Because at any given moment, just using Mia as an example again, I said how crazy my week felt because of me not doing perfect mode.
Troy Washington:Again, a choice that I've made, but somewhere down the line before, I said, anytime I miss this, I'm missing something or something is missing. And so because I've made that to be true, it's so hard to even just take a even though we've given ourselves the freedom to take a vacation, it's hard to take that vacation because there's an underlying meaning tied to it. And then there's this domino effect that happens. So being able to allow yourself the freedom to step outside of even parameters that you set for yourself are very important. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:The the two biggest revelations I had as an adult, going into adulthood is this. The the first is everything I I was taught was not necessarily true. Like, the opposite has has played itself in my life. Like, well, no. I thought we supposed to do this.
JClay:Nah. You actually supposed to do this. Oh, I thought we supposed to do this this way. Nah. You're actually supposed to do this.
JClay:But that that was a precursor to this revelation that we make the true truth. Like, there there there is no but it there I would say there's a blanket truth where what's true for everyone and true for all time is true. But that truth is we get to choose the truth that we live in. There are people that like, I I eat a I eat a plant based lifestyle. There are people who don't but can thrive on it.
JClay:There are people who who don't work a day in their life that they get all kind of checks. There are people who work every day of their life. They never get any money. They're, people who, I don't know, walk a certain way, who might have back problems. There are people who might walk the same way who don't like it.
JClay:I I say this to say that the the beliefs that we hold are more important than the the the so called truth or the so called right way or the so called ideal we even have of ourselves. Like, that idea that we have of ourselves is a it can be a blueprint, but a blueprint to the beliefs that we wanna hold. And if we encounter something that opposes it, we don't have to give it energy or something to fear about or be stressed about or that we have to overcome. We could just recognize and say, oh, this is the truth that I don't wanna carry in this ideal that I I choose to portray.
Troy Washington:You know, what's funny to, even from the sense of, you know, knowing that everything is gonna be okay. You know what I mean? Like, this this past week, you know, we were driving down the street, and it was a person on the side of the car, you know, panhandling. They had a little sign up and, you know, saying I work work for food. And so Brody asked me so for everybody that don't don't know I have a 6 year old, his his name is Brody.
Troy Washington:And Brody asked me he was like, hey, Troy. I mean, not he said not hey, Troy. He said, dad, why why is that person out there with that sign? And I was like, well, they homeless. They don't got nowhere to stay.
Troy Washington:They generally you know, it's not always the fake, but they a lot of times, they don't have no money. Something happened to them in their life. They ended up at them, and they're trying to either give back or they're trying to make what they're doing comfortable. And so, you know, this is this goes to show also that, you know, everything will always be alright or everybody will always be taken care of in a sense. Because Brody, then 6 years old, he was like, oh, he said, well, dad, you know, whenever I get my $83 back because, you know, we hold his money, I'm just gonna give all my money to the people on the corner.
Troy Washington:This is a 6 year old that, you know, he can spend his money on whatever he wanna spend his money on. It doesn't matter. He could have said, I wanna go buy, you know, a new video game or anything. He said he wants to give it to the man on the corner that doesn't have anywhere to stay. And this is something that I didn't never teach him.
Troy Washington:This is just something on his own that he's decided. And it just go to show you that this is the reason why there's a place for everything in this world, and everything will always will always be taken care of because it's not something I would dissuade him to do. You know, I I did tell him. I was like, hey. You can give him some money.
Troy Washington:Don't give him all your money. You know what I mean? But but nonetheless, being able to, allow everything to play its position is important too. And I just think that's a big part of this dynamic too when it comes to unlocking your intercom because a lot of times we try to we try to play out of position, which in turn is the, you know, the the the the problem or a problem that we end up, going down whenever we we're trying to deal with this. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. No. And and even to that, like, again, to to to play it against the the truth, the the the truth from an individual aspect is again is is is limited to what you're trying to do. So, like, a lot of the times we're stressed about things, and we're not even trying to do that. We don't even really care about that in that way.
JClay:We're not even trying to be known as that. And we're letting these factors, like, it's it's it's almost a distraction leading us to something completely different than than what we actually want. Like, when I told you at at when I used to have my day job and there was some stuff I just didn't wanna do at that time, I would simply say, I I would be like like, do I wanna be known as the as the guy that figures out all this hard stuff? No. Not this time.
JClay:I I I might have the reputation in certain instances, but that's not what I want. And I'm just not gonna do the work right now. I might do it later if it's still there, but oftentimes, it gets taken care of by somebody who wants to be that. And it's and there's no and it might and you we might fix in our head, like, oh, this is gonna be a bad thing come review time. It's not.
JClay:It wasn't for me. It I I still was able to get high remarks doing what I do because I I I attached myself to the things that I really love, and I did those to the fullest. But the things that I didn't care for, I didn't let that bother me. I didn't I didn't let that mentality skew my mentality in any way, and a lot can be said to that. I would just say try.
JClay:You don't gotta you don't gotta go full force and, like, never do any work ever if you have a job like that. But just just do baby steps for, like, one task and see how it goes, and you will see. And and and it I don't think that this will necessarily turn you lazy as long as you're still giving into your joy because because you're gonna have plenty of opportunities to do the things that you truly love. That might be a lot of work, but you don't care because you love it. So it's it's a lot of fun instead of a lot of work.
Troy Washington:To me, I classify lazy just just just to kind of remark on that. I classify lazy as not doing the stuff that you wanna do. That's what I that's what I would define as lazy if I define anything. I mean, because some people, go to work and the stuff that we're talking about we don't wanna do. Like, I wouldn't wanna do it either.
Troy Washington:I don't think that means that I'm lazy just because I don't wanna do it. But it's you know, if you really if it's something that you're you're driven to do and you don't do it, then, you know, that's I don't the question is why are you not choosing your love? You know what I'm saying? And if you're not choosing something that you absolutely love, then they gotta be a lazy situation about go ahead, Jay.
JClay:But sometimes you can't do what you love because you're so tired from doing what you don't love. And so it's like in a sense, you're you're not being lazy by that, but if you're being stupid in a way, like, man, why would why are you gonna do what you don't love for somebody else, but you won't do what you love for yourself or you don't or you do that secondary, like, you you let that take all of your energy.
Troy Washington:So I won't say that this is facts for everybody. Right? I would just speak on me and your behalf only because I've witnessed it.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:There have been plenty times where we've been tired. You know what I'm saying? But when we were doing what we wanted to do, tired didn't play a role. Like, I I can't remember a time, honestly. Now this is the crazy part about it.
Troy Washington:On the surface of it, I would tell you that I didn't wanna sell CDs. That's what I would tell you on the surface. Like, if you was like, you wanna go out here and sell some CDs? No. Not really.
Troy Washington:Now the caveat to it is when me and you were doing it, maybe I didn't I wasn't enthused to sell and see sell CDs, but I was enthused to go out and kick it with my boy and and meet new people in a way that was beneficial for us in the music. Right? So when we were out pushing CDs, I never like, I I can't remember a time, bro, where I said, bro, I'm sleepy. I I cannot remember a time. Now I remember going to sleep.
Troy Washington:I remember being a little bit too lifted, but I can never remember a time saying I was tired. And so much so that we touted how how hard we went from sun up to sun down because we were not fatigued. You know what I'm saying? Like, literally, when we finished working, we would have to go have even more fun. So I would, you know, say that when you love something and, again, I'm not saying that this is true for everybody because I don't know.
Troy Washington:You know, I I I, you know, I I've been taking my hits whenever me and my wife have our conversations, and I'm telling her this is how things are. And then she's like, well, that's not how it is for me. I'm like, oh, okay. Cool. I got you.
Troy Washington:But I I'm just a believer in when it is something that you love and it's something that you want to do, that your energy is infinite. Go ahead.
JClay:But but see, even in that though, that whole experience of of us, selling the CDs, that was it. Like, we we we there was no other job. There was no other task to do. Like, we this was solely for us. This was solely for us to do, and we really wanted to do it.
JClay:And by us really wanted wanting to do it, it's energy giving. Whenever you do something that you wanna do, it gives you energy more than it takes. Whereas I've had situations where I worked a bunch of hours and doing stuff I didn't wanna do. I came home. I was working on music, which I wanted to do, but I just fallen asleep.
JClay:I was like, damn. I can't do that. I can't I can't write this right because my mind not right. Like, I'm I'm I'm trying to do something I love, but I'm already spent at that point. And and and what I'm saying is at least try to do you first instead of, like, just switch that.
JClay:Like, still do the same stuff. Just switch the order. Do you first and then do the others later.
Troy Washington:I agree. And and and this is what I would tell you about that. And I am in no way cosigning or telling anybody to do what I did. This is the other half to that story. Yeah.
Troy Washington:Because at that time, when we were going out promoting music and selling CDs and going out of these different places, there was another job that I had. There was another 2 jobs that I had. There was a job at school, and there was a job at work. At school, I did not do so well. Not because I wasn't smart enough to do it, but because the energy that I needed in order to facilitate that, I didn't have to your point.
Troy Washington:Like, I didn't have energy to do what I didn't wanna do. That's the key. So I had both of them going on. And so when you say choose you, choose what you want, I did. I literally say, you know what?
Troy Washington:What's gonna be better for me is going to be going to go promote CDs, going to go travel with j Clay, going to go do shows. And what's not gonna be the best for me is going to class, doing all of this homework. Again, if you go to school, you're paying for that mug, you know, do what you need to do to get that mug done. Jay Clay is an example of it. He got that mug done.
Troy Washington:But for me, I didn't have the energy for that. But I wanted to make sure that I was doing the things that I wanted to do more than anything. Go ahead,
JClay:Jay. Yeah. And just so y'all know, I I gave up on school by, like, maybe my junior year. I mean, I I still work in promotions just to get it done and to it it was a better alternative. It was more it was more of what I wanted.
JClay:I wanted to be on my own, and school allowed me to be. So in that instance, I was excited to to be that. But, yeah. I I I but but again, to that point, definitely do what you want. So so getting back to the to the stress.
JClay:What would you say are are the tools? I I know and I know just to recap so far, we talked about we wanna verify. Like, verify that this is truly something to be stressful over. Like it like is this outcome what's the chances of this outcome really happening? Like just assess that first.
JClay:Taking a deep breath. Like, just taking a breath, taking a moment to to pause, but then also see if if you are doing activities that give energy versus take. Like, stress is a taking just by thinking about something stressful, it's taking your energy. So now you you doubly lost because you can't even handle the situation correctly because you're letting it drain you. So so doing doing these energy giving activities, again, first before then deciding to stress over this can help too.
JClay:What is there something extra you would say in a sense?
Troy Washington:Yeah. Just based off personal experience, be honest. And the reason why I say that is, you know, again, when I was working in corporate America, I was 1 first of all, I was I always tell you, I am never gonna be somebody that gets wheeled out on a stretcher at a job. I've seen it happen to too many people, but I ended up being oh, go ahead.
JClay:Before you go to that, when you say be honest, like, be honest about what?
Troy Washington:That's what I was about. That's what I'm about to tell you. Okay. But I was literally one of the people that said that would never happen to me. The problem and the reason why it happened to me is because I was not being real with myself and recognizing that I was stressed.
Troy Washington:So if you had asked me at the time, which the nurses did, they were like, man, you you eat good, you work out all the time, are you stressed? And I kept telling them, I'm not stressed. I'm not stressed. And the reason why I kept saying that is because I could not recognize the things that I were was doing or things that I could actually stress over. They were things that I classified that if you're stressing over this, then you're tripping.
Troy Washington:You don't need to stress over this. So whenever I looked at them on the surface for myself and somebody asked me, was I stressed about coming to work and doing this? No. I'm not stressed about this.
JClay:It's my job. It's what
Troy Washington:I gotta do. And so I would tell you to be honest. Because if you were honest, you can make the necessary adjustments. I was not able to change the way that I felt about work because I kept telling myself that I was not something that I actually was because of the definitions that I gave myself prior to. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:So so in in that, like, you in a sense, you were honest with yourself about, like, I'm not stressed, but you didn't recognize that you were. How if somebody's in that state, how can they recognize that they are?
Troy Washington:I I think that, again, hindsight is 2020. I wasn't able to figure it out on myself until I went out on a stretcher, and I had to tell myself literally none of this other stuff can matter to me. Nothing matters. And I had to tell myself just like I was telling myself that, I wasn't stressed, and I wasn't literally telling myself that I wasn't stressed every day. There was a hard set rule.
Troy Washington:You cannot be stressed over work. So because of that hard set rule, that was never a topic ever broached in my internal ever again. You go to work because you got to. This is what's gotta have to happen. And you're gonna smile, and you're gonna do all these things.
Troy Washington:So I was at work smiling, talking to everybody, having fun, but all the while, knowing that I did not want to be there. So or I didn't like the way that things were going. So what happened was once I got wheeled out, they gave me this medicine and told me to do all these things. I literally had to come to a decision myself and say, what is up, Troy? Why why are you why is your blood pressure doing this stuff and you either way you do and you all just got okay.
Troy Washington:Are you really stressed? What would stress you out about at work? I had to start to ask myself real questions. Like, do I really like do I really like the fact that I sit in this desk all day like this? Do I really like the fact that they can come and ask me to do stuff and not care how I feel about it?
Troy Washington:Do I really like and before I would be like, yeah. I'm cool. I don't care. Yeah. I'm cool.
Troy Washington:I don't care. Yeah. I'm cool. I don't care. But I started to say, you know what?
Troy Washington:I don't like that. This does make me feel this way. This is this way. And so that when I recognize those things, the first time my boss came to me and said, hey, Troy. We need you to do this report.
Troy Washington:He gave it to me. Let's say, this is after I got back to work. He gave it to me at, like, 2:30. I need you to have this before you're done today. And I looked at the report, and it was a report that's gonna be, like, 3 or 4 hours.
Troy Washington:And I replied to him and said, I'm not doing this today. I'll do it tomorrow. And he was like, what you mean you're not gonna do it today? I mean that I get off at 3:30. This is not something that I'll be done with by 5 or 6.
Troy Washington:I'm not gonna do it today. And he was like, well, why don't you get your assistant to do it? I said, my assistant gets off when I get off. I'm not gonna have her do it either. And so me, first of all, deciding that these things were upsetting to me, knowing that they affected me a different way.
Troy Washington:The first time that I was able to say, you know what? I'm not gonna do it. You don't even realize the weight that came off of my shoulder. It was like it was like whatever. It just flew away from me, and it was a little different from your circumstances because I could've just not said anything.
Troy Washington:But I think I was more stressed on the fact of me not being able to say anything. Why can't you voice how you feel about it if you're that important here? And so once I did that and recognized that that was important to me, I was able to make the difference. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and I will say now I have done that plenty of times, voice that it's just it's not gonna be done now. I I can't do it now. Whatever. And and like you said, I know how freeing that could be.
JClay:So I so the I I guess the key thing here is just in case some somebody is in this situation. If you can remember when you were at the height of that, like, when you were on the stretcher, what like, how long before you started asking yourself these questions? Like, could you win that state, or did you have to kinda just let that energy pass first?
Troy Washington:No. Because I I knew that I was somewhere that I didn't want to be. Meaning not work, but on the stretcher. In the back of the ambulance, I knew that I do not want to be here. Be real, Troy.
Troy Washington:Why you in here? You you, like, literally, like, that's why I said I had to let the facts play themselves out. This is a time when I was fasting. This is the time when I was working at all the time. This is the time where I would try all these different eating, diets to make sure that I was intaking good stuff for myself.
Troy Washington:So I was doing all that I felt was good. Yeah. I what that I felt, that I believed, and I also was doing something that I didn't believe was good, which again, I did not recognize because I didn't allow it to be an option. So I'm doing all of this good stuff and I'm doing something that's really detrimental to myself and I'm living in it like it's okay. The thing that I caution everybody to do is to be real with yourself.
Troy Washington:Look at yourself. And this is not about being sick like me. It's just when we're talking about stress, intercom, there's something screaming to you. If there if there's something going on, there's something screaming to you all the time, and you have locked it away. And you have said it's not real.
Troy Washington:And the reality of it is, if it's yelling at you from the inside of you, you've already made it real. You have to hear it out. You have to find that like, the question that I ask myself all the time, bro, was, I know I don't like this. Why don't I like this? Why don't I like this?
Troy Washington:And when I was able to answer that, I was able to make the change. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and so so one one thing I I was getting at with with a lot of question and you answered too is that some I I wanna say it like this, but sometimes it can be too late before you recognize it, and and we don't want that. So in a sense, like, start to practice even if it's for 1 minute. Start to practice either the deep breathing, the meditation, mindful exercise where you're you're moving with your breath in a sense. And and the reason I say that is because in doing this, you get to a point where you can let go.
JClay:Even if it's for a split second, you let go completely and you get to feel what that feels like. And once you feel how it feels like, you realize that you've been holding on, you've been tense in all your other moments of your day, and you're like, wait a minute. This I really love this peaceful feeling. I I really love this free feeling that I I've just let go of so much. Why would I now be so quick to put it all along and you can start making changes?
JClay:But unless you unless you feel that difference, it's hard to even know. I I like, I remember when I started to feel that difference, it was like a cliche where you're like, the sky is of a new color. It really is. It was it's the same sky, but the color was just so much brighter. The sound were so much crisper.
JClay:Like, everything was so different from this this peaceful place, from this this place of just letting go versus the one of holding on the weight of the world, which nobody asks you to hold on to, which nobody even knows that you're holding on to. And that should be a clue too that you don't you don't need to hold on to the thing that you're holding on to.
Troy Washington:I I I I challenge people to do this because, again, this is one of the things
JClay:that I've heard over and over again. People saying,
Troy Washington:I can't go a day without doing stuff. Like, I would challenge you to anything that you felt like you had to do today or any day, just literally don't do anything. Like, when I say literally don't do anything, just take a day and don't do anything. And in that day, what's going to happen to you is you're going to think about the things that you were supposed to do. And when you think about those things, tell yourself that you don't have to do them.
Troy Washington:Like, it's going to be a a a a work in progress. So don't do anything, and then tell yourself that I don't have to do these things Because that's the only way that you can I I feel like you're going to be able to let go and really see what that feels like? Like, because, bro, one one of the things that I've been wanting to do for the longest, and I try to do it as much as I possibly can now, is I try to go without talking, period. So when I wake up in the mornings, I try to see how long I can go without saying a word. I actually wanted to take a trip where I just didn't talk, like, take a weekend trip where I just did not talk at all.
Troy Washington:Like, just just be quiet because this is the obligations of life that we tend to be drawn to that feel like if we do them, the world's going to end. Right? And so I I just challenge people just to just don't do nothing. And when you tell yourself you need to do it, don't worry about doing that either. So that way, you can see how that really feels at the end of it.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. They they also have, like, silent retreats that where people go to. And I think they take your phone, everything. Like, you can't even communicate. You just gotta just be in silence by yourself for, like, those 3 days.
JClay:But to that, that's a good segue back to our fast, which we're, you know, starting soon, starting today, starting this week, is eating is something that a lot of people believe you have to do. And and just even a break from that, you don't realize it, but even a a break from that, which you you think it might be stressful, like, I gotta eat. It causes you to look at so much more stuff, and it's it's really not that bad. So I I'm I I agree with you totally, but also have that day of rest. Like, that like, some people call it the Sabbath, some people call it rest day, some people call it Saturday or you can make it your Sunday.
JClay:Whatever day you make it, like, have have those days where you do nothing. It's the greatest thing in the world, I'm telling you. And you have so much energy when you start back to do stuff that you do yet you accomplish way more than you would've had you been doing it every day all day.
Troy Washington:I I also think that you'll be even more creative. You know what I mean? Like, you're you're just so open to so many different things once that's happened because whether you want to happen or not, your mind is going to go a 1000000 miles per hour that day. And there are gonna be tons of ideas that's gonna flood your mind. And look, the times when I don't do anything, I always got a million ideas.
Troy Washington:That doesn't mean I always execute them, and I'm always and that's that's something that I have to work on for myself. That's something that I'm upset about more often than not because I have done the work to make myself be quiet, to make myself not worried. And now there's a level of exposure that I've given myself that now I have to have the energy or the belief to go ahead and put those things into play as well. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:What's funny real quick about the the creativity? It's true. This doesn't happen to me when we do the one day fast, when we do the the 3 day fast. I always cook a new recipe afterwards. Like like, right now, I'm like, no.
JClay:I don't feel like doing that. Who cares? I'm a eat what I always eat, eat the normal stuff. But there's something about just not doing it that it's like, okay. When I when I can eat, when I can start back eating, I'm gonna make sure it's something that I've never had before.
JClay:I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna chop up my own vegetables. I'm gonna I'm gonna prepare it my own way. Like, just it's just something more creative about that. And yeah, and I I could attest to that with music making as well.
JClay:Like, if I hadn't been able to do it for a while and I finally do, it's like, oh, we're not just gonna make a standard song. We're going big with it. We're doing something we never did before. We're trying to beat selection that we've never selected before just to see what will come out of it.
Troy Washington:Yeah. No. No. I I love that. And and again, that's the truth.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? Be fruitful and multiply. You got so much in you to give out to everybody. You just gotta be willing to give it. But if you're worried about everything on the outside of you versus the inner calm or what's on the inside of you, you limit your creativity because you're looking at other people's.
Troy Washington:And to shortchange yourself and not realize that you got a whole world around you because all of that same stuff like, people are around you because they love what you've been able to put out, what you've been able to create. And it could just be words. It could just be a smile. Like, some people love people only because of their smile. It came from them.
Troy Washington:And so, you know, not recognizing the true power that you have and understanding what that what what you actually bring to this world and that that the dynamic that you have for the people around you is so egregious and is such a cheat to yourself that you have to recognize and you have to realize that's real. So, you know, I encourage everybody, you know, just, you know, as we've been saying, you got to quiet the noise and recognize what's real. You know, take deep breaths and allow that inside of you to come out and get some of that inside bringing in. You know, open yourself up for what's what the world has for you so that way you can give it back. And, you know, you know, I I also would tell y'all without y'all, we wouldn't be here.
Troy Washington:You know, I'm grateful for these conversations every single week. Even missing last week, I needed to take some time off so that way I can have my inner peace and my calm and and realize something new about myself. Nothing is mandatory. Everything is optional. And, you know, I'm I'm back again in full force, and I'm and I'm grateful to be here with my brother.
Troy Washington:And so, you know, Jay, I love you you can go ahead and take us out, but just remember, take them breaths, man.
JClay:Yeah. Take them breath. Let go. Let go. Let go.
JClay:And, yeah, and if you you're joining the show, enjoy the show with that share button, like, subscribe, do all that, tell people about it. Check out our Patreon on the link that's somewhere on here. And, yeah, I just appreciate all y'all, man. Like, just remember your perfect creation made by a perfect creator. So you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode.
JClay:Shoot. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect welcome to perfect where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, a spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real.
JClay:So let's be perfect. Perfect. Perfect.