Strained Relationships

Giant spiders chirping like birds. A nest that drops its catch and pulls them up half-alive to finish later. Heart gets cocooned. Beetle shoots him trying to save him. In the bones of a long-dead delver they find another dungeon-runner's pack — and a truth about Heart's father that the party has been skirting for months.

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgoons - Narrative Declaration?

By the Narrative Declaration TTRPG group: Four adventures try to make it big within the decrepit streets of Outset's Pawn Pilaster. Catch this comedic but grim dark Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG adventure and watch them all suffer!

it's been a great ideas everyone welcome to another exciting episode of the rock
you got left alone in the scene by yourself everyone else stared at you
no i was waiting for fargy to finish your bit and i was like oh we'll chime in after that
i actually wait is this the friends theme or the seinfield theme i think that was the
seinfield theme i was trying to go for porthub because goons and i don't remember what the
porthub is wait that sounds exactly the same as the seinfield
doesn't do anything that's similar at all that sounds so similar they sound good it's
completely not similar
okay now do the friends one
that's not even the friends one like
like i don't even know what the you're singing actually
froggy you should lose your computer more often
yeah you should get off the internet actually like
i hate you anyways rock goes
there you go wait wait wait
the bit didn't end and i was just like hi hi
froggy we haven't done raccoons in a while pterodactyl scream with me
what did pterodactyl sound like you know like
oh this is a great podcast listening right here oh man uh
someone's just put their pods are gonna
ah if you've tried to listen to now what the
fuck welcome it's time for another episode of the rocket why are they making that sound with their
face welcome to raccoons asmr we're gonna do pterodactyl noises for you
hey hey sweetheart i think i found a nice lovely funny podcast for us to listen to in our in our
road trip i really hope that doesn't strain our relationship puts it on
no no but what if what if your sweetheart is a pterodactyl oh
shit oh no we could be saying awful things right now we're saying slurs
no matter what it is froggy always finds a way to say slurs on stream
no this is my least favorite bit this is my least favorite bit this has been my saying slurs my
least favorite bit since 2022 your birds horribly races you constantly say slurs like
like clean your act up man damn it might not be your favorite you know what it is
i still have a clown posted i'm struggling so hard it's your most consistent bit why do you
keep on doing it if it's not your favorite yeah you keep making it easy for us every time you open
your mouth like up there goes another one put on the wall we have a fridge of your favorite
slurs escape containment like how joel saying that basil is misogynistic
people genuinely started going like what what did basil do
no no he doesn't it's leave it to twitter to take everything out of context and just not
fucking think past their nose like
no one has literacy these days i swear to god i think there was one time where a guy was complaining
um i think like that youtube or something like stole his music or someone copyrighted or whatever
then twitter got on his ass well actually this was original no i bet you stole this music and the
guy's like i literally fucking made it just like she'll the receipts and they still didn't believe
him like they were just so up their ass about it i'm like oh my god
i like it chat it's like but that bit you're losing the two the 265 million year old demographic
it's okay it's okay we get the prehistoric we get the prehistoric we got it like
we get it's like hi i'm coming to you live from pangea like well we'll talk about
banging sticks and stones together we'll get that we'll get the chrome magnet
the next campaign oh that's the next campaign you could not pay me to play an unga bunga
man we we are playing one homo sapien one yeah why do you stress that part yeah we're playing
one neanderthal we're playing one dog and we're playing one like uh astro pick it pithicus you
know that the largest ape that has ever been and that's bark bark bark bark bark bark you mean
sasquatch yeah sasquatch oh my god i can't believe because you couldn't find the cloud
post froggy no and then i and then i didn't and then i didn't fuck up it and then i didn't
fuck up my discord post uh hey froggy so if you go go to go to the production discord for narrative
declaration look look at our voice chat real quick i'll help you out here chat i put in all
this fucking work i just want you to know what i've done okay all right you see us there see
live voice that we're in right now right oh marketing stuff holy shit what the fuck's in
there oh shit everything everything is in there it's like cab also mentioned it earlier
well okay i exist i'm so good too you know like no it's it's it's okay you know like nobody listens to
me anyways you know it's fine i'm just did you say something i'm sorry yeah no that's perfect of
course i'm talking now cap isn't because i can't hear him so i'm just all i'm saying is i'm such a
good and diligent player uh and slash talent that i downloaded all these marketing assets way way back
like a million years ago and i had them on my pc and i would use the same thing hold up i gotta
screenshot something as soon as you said diligent player hold up uh-huh oh i got you on
fucking 4k hold up he's pulling out there's an up up oh i got oh i got the right idea they're
answered my fingers my fingers are itchy my fingers are itchy that's here's the player listen foundry
who's not in it okay chat we are how long are we we are 24 minutes past 3 pm this son of a
bitch isn't even fucking logged in no listen i have a new pc okay i have a new pc okay she didn't
even log in during the 30 minutes before and after she logs in she's gonna need to use the bathroom i
was here and you guys were talking and distracting me just wait to the point where she's just like oh
i also got this night this nice sandwich to eat during stream yeah do not get me started i'm still mad
about my sandwich wait did you have a sandwich like not show up no i i yeah yeah so i ordered a
bunch of food and like they gave me all of like the little snacks and stuff but they did not get
the main course they forgot it the bag was sealed what the book so i'm just like okay i guess i'm not
eating my fucking breakfast damn dude thanks for showing up late oh my god hi chat welcome to
another exciting episode of the rock goons it's like we're getting there it's gonna be a sad day when
when all this goes away and it disappears you know just hammering in the sadness
are you like are you like are you like are you nervous you're all gonna die
i'm already dead yeah i'll get you again
it'll be the fourth time i did it once i'll do it again
you're gonna get bored again
speaking of getting bored reset the counter speaking of getting bored i'll introduce you
to the amazing players starting off with minerva wait what
what does that say get in the mouth get in the mouth get in the mouth right now
no no no no get in the mouth
hi everyone my name is minerva aka party demon s i'm a variety streamer on twitch and full-time content
creator and full-time artist uh you can find me under all platforms as a party demon s and i play
the level eight nol ranger great crocus and of course we have our cultist cult leader cabal
hello my name is cabal i'm your favorite frightening caffeinated cult leader and hooded horror host here
in the terrifying petrifying public platform of twitch.tv
uh and uh i am playing the level eight ghost sparkling targe magus
taleem shibura and then we have our resident little guy froggy like
hi i'm little but i prefer
hi i'm i'm doing that again hi i'm froggy
i'm froggy luck and i'm a professional artist but not a professional comedian i'm alive to the
rigger and a variety streamer here on twitch but you can find me on all sorts of other social
media platforms under the exact same handle but today more important than my inability to tell jokes
or about my total media handles i am playing beatles above the level eight kobold investigator
and then of course we have our resident beauty artist salty job
hi i'm tired girl same
you can find me uh over at salt job on twitch and twitter i'm back to streaming again i do
including art for narrative declarations super cool people you should support them that indirectly
supports me well directly supports me uh i play heart
he's a level eight big lad he can fit eight guys in him uh he um
big guys
and uh he can uh call forth the powers of hard wood and hard rocks
okay speaking of being hard hi i'm zoran i'm your resident game master for this evening
it's like i'll be your resident game master for this evening and welcome chat
and kiwi to another episode
hey you're not playing
he fucking disagrees man
get back to work mind your business
this guy's you have important bird work she's in his office he's gotta do his bird work
whoa it's got a whole piece of wood to shred there
damn you're slacking work you know what froggy you may not be a professional comedian
but you're our favorite little clown
you motherfucker
i found my clown horn
speaking of the
speaking of the
speaking of the
moms rock last time that happened on rock
what what are you doing stop doing this
last time
these are the worst segways
last time on rock guns
our merry band of gooners
were stuck in a series of caves
as they were going as they were traveling through
oh yeah i can stuck in that cave if you know what i mean
i don't get it
the intertwining series of caves they seem to be led astray by random forces not in their control
not finding any leads of way to safety they begin to find themselves in random parts in this
weird underground labyrinth finding themselves into a home that seemingly was kind and welcoming with
an individual there who turned out to be just the end of a tongue of a giant mimic
after surviving such a terrifying tale and nearly all being swallowed by the beast
they continue onward to find themselves with grasping hands on the floor
who demanded for them to tell their deepest and darkest secrets
where the band have learned a bit too much about each other
we now return to our band of chuckle fucks
as they have now exited the room and continue traveling to the cave systems
trying to find the rest of their friends that they rescued and out of the fairy village
and trying their best to find a way out of the city of outset
as kiwi reminds us all that our adventurers are here still trying to find a way out the talisman they have has been
eerily quiet so far maybe they're going in a direction that it wants or
something else is influencing where they are going
so we turn to the day we return to beetle gray to lean and art
exiting out of one of the cave systems into a room that they see with a very high ceiling sorry about
that uh very for the high ceiling you see a ladder uh kind of climbing up to a bit of a cliff side or a little bit of a overhang area
uh there's about uh seven feet up and of course if you continue on over to your left you see that there is a another entrance
to another cave system what do you all do and that's why pears are my favorite fruit
i'm starting i i can't remember what popcorn feels like like the texture
can't remember i don't remember the color sky i don't remember the texture of popcorn it's there's a ladder
feels like mushrooms when i
how do you get out of awkward situations talk about popcorn and scream
i'm gonna climb this ladder beetle runs to the ladder okay you begin to climb the ladder beetle as
you're climbing the ladder running away from awkward social situations the rest of the party
what are you doing oh boy what do you mean awkward the watching beetle scramble like a creature
apparently because gray just points out a ladder and then beetle just screams and runs towards him
no no no let him have this let him have this the sun the sun the sun
is chanting the sun let him have this let him have a little bit of hope
i okay you know what sure what do you see beetle what does beetle see with special eyes uh you're not
quite on top of the light yet i was pausing on you i was pausing on you to allow others uh
to do anything that you needed to before i put you up there it's a lighter mimic it wraps you up
starts eating no i don't this is like this is the mimic dungeon yeah the whole dungeon is a mimic
i just followed the piece of paper
but uh as beetle is climbing up the ladder hoping for sun uh the rest of the party is standing in the
middle of the cavernous room with uh with one exit to the north what are you guys doing
hey um haleem uh do you wanna do you wanna check that way that path down there
like looks over his shoulder at heart and then like just silently like drifts towards the entrance to see if
there's like anything there a ghostbuster sits idly by oh my god not egon spangler no grail grail uh
keep her eye on to him to see if anything happens like if you know everything comes out of the
darkness all uh oogity boogity to get him i just noticed something odd why is my player view the game
master view i was like i looked at the preview i'm like wait a fucking minute
huh hold up chat you're not gonna see this for a bit let me fix that real quick
while i'm doing yeah while i'm doing that um just you guys have something to do
um taleem and beetle please both of you roll me perception checks if you don't mind
what if i do mind
did you get to play dang wow dice said i don't get to
okay so that was a four of the die but it's a total of 22 so that's not too bad
well um i rolled a three on the die for a total of a uh 13. that's the difference between all the
builds right there yeah we don't get to play yeah yeah don't worry chat the view will come back up
here in a second and for podcast listeners to let you know uh my preview is showing a game master view
it's okay the one room that got showed they're not going to so it worked out i didn't even see it so
yippee i don't get to see shit why why aren't we going there what do you mean
what what do you mean we're gonna there's no chance you'll ever make it what why would you
ever want to go there what oh kiwi please kiwi's getting in on the action he apparently
the bird song beckons no no the only thing i see on my screen is uh the room where we had chet
oh yeah you're fine your views are fine it's just they could see stuff because they put the thing
wrong yeah yeah it's like i am deeply amused by that still by the way i'm trying to reload things so
i can get chat gone i was hoping i would do it fast enough for the perception check and it's just
take a forever load for me give me a second as we get there but i am liking to imagine that kiwi's
actually the canary in the mine this is actually just an elaborate mine and kiwi's trying to warn you
all wait no that's a good sign if the if the birds make a noise you're okay it's when the bird goes
quiet that you gotta worry that's when you gotta worry about it yeah all of a sudden just like kids
oh kiwi doesn't say anything for the rest of the stream oh my god what if he starts mumble rapping
no no what is what does mumble rapping sound like for kiwi uh probably his bird talking it's really
rare but sometimes he talks yeah that's kind of what he sounds like what salty just did that sound
that's what he sounds like when he's talking he sounds like a bungee casserole character he likes
to talk to the yes yes he likes to talk to the rain like when it's raining that's that's when you
hear him talking he likes to talk to the rain yeah that's so cute to me i'm gonna be real yeah you
open up a window and he hears the rain and he starts going he saw the fact that you like horde
more than a lion so i went i'm gonna be a charm yeah okay my little son my son you have the
preview i'm sorry about that chat um for your role of a 22 beetle yeah what do i can't big buddy
big buddy come on big buddy you begin to see webs you begin to see you begin to see
webs up above and uh it's a bit too dark for you
you have low light vision i believe nope nope nope nope and he comes climbing back down i do not
i don't think so you're a cobalt i don't see it i don't see it in my modifiers hold on oh well
no you have dark vision what did you see buddy yeah so for you for your with your dark vision you
see that it is a uh a further cavernous wall a vertical wall with some oh i do have dark vision
it's over there i see it i found it i found it you're an elicer so you're good but um as you kind
of peek over you go uh you see that is like a overhang area with some webbing acting as a temporary
bridge and you see that it extends over to another cave entrance and for you to lean
you see you see more of a flat area further down into the cave system um you see that it's
fairly empty and barren with little trinklings of web and more webs begin to kind of like gather
up uh into the ceiling itself but you see it's a more elongated cavern and hallway with another exit
at the other end hmm okey dokey
all right terrible news there is a lot of web up there which probably means giant spiders like just
look the worst fire you've ever seen but that's fine we've already beaten a giant spider remember
when i like grabbed it and i slammed it into the ground and it broke into a thousand pieces and then
i ate one of its legs oh that's right let me let me take a look and see how old the webs are
yeah it's possible it could be an old nest uh gree's gonna go on up and she's gonna take a look see
to see like if this is fresh is this something that could be abandoned yeah yeah yeah uh feel free to roll
the perception and the dc for you will be a little bit lower oh i thought i'd be rolling in nature okay
there was a big gap so i i don't know it's it's almost like there could have been a bridge there
before uh that's a total of 24 okay um so with the roll of a 24 you look to see the web is not old
you see that it's not old you see that it is currently active like some of the webbing is
completely new someone's definitely gathered dust um which you further on see is that these rooms are
connected at what you would notice uh for talim's room in this one this one is higher over the hallway
that talim's been looking through okay so gray's gonna climb back down she's gonna roll her shoulders
a little bit and just like all right so it looks like it's still active but from what i could see
up there and over there and she'll move her finger to point toward talim and the hallway that he is
peering down and she'll be like they're connected so it's possible we if we go down that way we
could have some friends from above that is what i am getting from what i am seeing can you like
flying on fire uh to leave uh hold on let me actually check what spells do i have prepared
uh the aids is the
are the webs within 30 feet zoran
uh for you no not not at your current position i uh talim will like look back and he'll be like i
possibly i mean i have a tentrip ready that can create fire but
i question the wisdom as to that because well i might be fine should there be excessive smoke
well yeah let's save that for a last case scenario we do want to go this way i think because even
though it's overridden by spiders now there's a ladder which indicates people it's true oh yeah
there could be people trapped in the thingies remember i wasn't thinking that i'm just thinking
like ladder leads to civilization ladder leads to people yeah like do you remember the big spider
that we fought in our first ever adventure there were people like strung up into cocoon and stuff and
it was underneath the elma's house so maybe yeah i remember yeah i remember i remember yeah i remember
all right so boys what way are we going oh i think
guys one head up yeah worst case scenario i'll grapple the spider and we'll both fall to our deaths
it's probably gonna be more than one spider oh man well i won't die he smiles and you starts climbing
do i have anything that could help starts rummaging through his bags
till he like looks at beetle is like perhaps keeping what distance you can from any
the oversized arachnids would be the best policy
beetle school wince at him
i'm uh i'm i'm in a bit of agreement let's not but i guess we're going up
okay so i'm gonna get you guys prepped you're gonna just keep you're gonna shuffle back and
forth yeah keep your token still so i can move you no no no no no out there we're going right
into the spiders what do you mean keep your distance
all right we go to a vertical map that is just a tube
okay i'm gonna drag you guys down here hopefully that works out
as it shows all the stuff because thanks foundry uh basically as you guys begin to
enter inside the cave system you see as i said before a more elongated hallway with another cave
entrance on the other side but you notice this one's broken up like it'll continue on and then it'll
crash down or just a huge hole there are some webbings that kind of make like a temporary
bridge that you think you may cross but as you look down i will show you the drag you over here
just a one area up um as you look down you see a cavernous area below you
i think this is the wrong choice i think this is a bad choice
you see the cavernous area below you and as you continue on i'll have to ask as an exploration
activity are you guys wanting to sneak through are you wanting to repeat a spell
are you trying to like scout around what are you guys doing as you continue on
i am going to scout
okay awesome you want to put that on for me yes i'll do this well it's it's such a search
yeah you can put it on scouting okay i will sustain an effect uh when we are exploring
and the effect that i will sustain is uh to activate my cool you know channel elements aura
and in that aura i will actively i can't do it forever and i can't do it too much
uh but what i can do is make a little jutting of stone in front of us so that there's a smaller chance
of us to triggering a spider web but perhaps not negating it because you know they probably hang
in the air as well and beetles checking the webs on the floor as they go and muttering his retorts
that they should probably be sneaking around on the ground floor and not doing this trapeze
shit uh he's going to pursue a lead on on the webs uh specifically he's trying to see if maybe he can
figure out what kind of spider it came from like the creature that left these webs
that's super cool yeah i'm pursuing a lead i'm doing my investigator yeah yeah roll me a nature check
i will it's not gonna be good
let's see what you do
well chat i guess you know you just gotta you know cheers some points so we can get our hero points
uh so that's a nat 20. that'll do it for a total of 24. that's not gonna be good nat 20. oh well
the secret is just to give up all hope yeah sabino
uh that's uh potentially a backstory question we just make up on the fly
of course you know just give you a prompt you can go with it if you want to you can say no i don't like
that uh did um you ever think anybody in the in in beetle's family
uh maybe you know maybe some lone kobolds went out to go get groceries or something got eaten by
giant spiders before oh like every day yeah oh absolutely so as as your mom's super busy like
he's read encyclopedias and stuff too so like he you know they lived in a library he's he knows some
stuff these this is a giant spider nest normally in other cases it's more closer to the surface they
would be you know you would imagine more food and stuff but it's more chances of being eaten by
something else or for them to be slain by other adventurers and stuff like that these though
have a really good system going on to where whatever comes into the bottom they would have
strung up from the bottom and brought up here whether they're suspended so they have the choice of
falling and taking a lot of fall damage or getting eaten alive so they had a pert they have a pretty
good system going here and you because of how good your role is there uh you see that there are two
of them who are just kind of thinking they have the drop on you and they're just being very still in
in the webbing and the ceilings guys wait he notices like the subtlest vibration one of the threads
that he's picked up and he lofts a finger and he's indicating towards the two giant still
shadows up against the wall giant spiders gray immediately is reaching for her mom belay
i don't think i don't think they know that we see them
you can tell from the pacifistic bird sounds they're making
the spiders tweet in anticipation as if communicating yeah there are spiders who sharp
they do that when they think they got the drop on somebody
these spiders will also drop you onto the lower level if they get the chance so be careful
i see yeah beetle do you think you and i could hit them from here at least one of them i think so
i think i can throw a rock this is a nest so who knows how many are gonna come out of the
the web works maybe maybe not alerting them maybe oh they already know that one's looking straight at
us yeah but maybe casually walk away where this is a nest this we're in the nest and they do not
get a lot of food down here that path right there that that's that's not a path salty yeah it's not
a path yeah all right right right right you mentioned it my immersion i gave you the ability
to see what the underside is okay but then then it points over there maybe we can sneak past them
i have an idea what if we throw something far across into the web and startle the whole desk and
they come down on that one thing and then we can turn around and try and sneak back down the ladder
and then across the tunnel below them oh oh that's super smart do any of you have something
that that wiggles or moves or is loud or is loud yeah yeah i mean riego's rambling into her into her
pack i imagine someone be like just someone just picks up beetle like to leave like as they're all
like you know like oh we can avoid the spiders we can do this is like where did all that bravato go
from killing spiders earlier so i i have no problem with it it's more along the lines that
these guys points at one of the spiders they're big enough to snatch beetle and if one of them does
and they just drag him into the pit i don't know if i can get him i have a solution to that uh-huh
beetle stays in the back behind the two larger individuals with a shield and a massive frame
that sounds so smart why haven't we done that before i'm not arguing with that
so we distracting them what's going on grandma's grandma's lost
uh it sounds like talim wants to just just go exterminate this nest wait i have this heart pull
poor poor pulls out a old wine bottle we got from session zero no that is unusual liquid
and he just pulls out unusual liquid and uh it's it i i we have never identified this
liquid uh and it's a wine bottle worth of it that i did remember
uh and he pulls it out and goes so if i uncork this and he uncorks it and then the liquid will also
pour onto the web if we throw it so maybe my question is this do we want to have
egress to the other side or are we just doing away with the entirety of the rep
oh yeah i i wouldn't mind like frying every single spider now that we're up
uh that is going to warrant us having to make our way we're back to the fire thing okay yes
yeah fire it's not setting i will be fine the rest of you need to breathe
i need to breathe i appreciate that you're thinking of us yeah thanks um what's the biggest thing we can
cobble together that we can then throw all right talim literally like raises both his hands and he's just like
i can just use magic oh gray pulls out a small bone from her bag it is a rhythm bone
and uh it has it plays for pre-recorded sounds it plays just a recorded sound and so she holds it up and
she's like this has a sound on it it will get their attention tell me where to throw it that's super nifty
what's you know what hey let's plan a first if it fails we plan b and destroy the whole nest okay
so why don't we throw everything as far back into their nest as we can turn tail down the ladder and
then run through the corridor underneath them to try and get through oh so they're distracted yeah so
they're distracted yeah they're distracted up here and we can sneak but but quickly like
all the way across dude you're so smart so wait we are throwing something down into the
layer below to then have to scramble the back down a ladder and try to time running through
not below oh wait maybe yes below because then they have to come down and grab it these spiders
i can tell from their nest they go down and they they grab things under them
so if we do if we do if we if we hooked it below it might waste even more of the spider's time while
he's going down we can go up wait no wait no wait we're both going down we're both going we're going
down we're did you just say we're bowing but it was fun we're going down oh no we're bowing i can't
believe yeah we are going down i thought we were spirit i have an off topic thing uh i was i've been
playing wow scenes of discovery for a little bit and we had one guy who kept having to leave raids
and stuff because he had to go fix airplanes and we just kind of started theorizing going i bet he
works for bong i think he's actually the assassin is he a rogue does he play a rogue it's like he
plays a paladin good cover yeah good cover yeah that's more suspicious yeah there was a good time
he had a uh he got called in for work because they got to quickly like bust him over and fly him
somewhere else to go fit it fix a jet or something like ah another hit
okay so what's the plan what's the plan yeah it's the plan to like grab all the things run down
throw them all in there and then run back up what no okay we throw the things now down this fight yeah
and then the spiders go oh things and they go down get the things and while they're going down we're also
going down the ladder but when they're pulling the things up and going yeah yeah yeah beetle yeah it's
possible we're also overthinking this and we could just kill them they are just spiders okay let's
do what i mean i did okay let's just go i'm fine with whatever but i can't slashing gusts on the
spider in front of me oh right yeah please roll for initiative
yeah yeah let's just kill them with hammers
we could be overthinking this like for real
why are we like this jesus christ fellas super super like uh game brained so when presented with thing
we go oh game time we don't i thought it was just because we're anxious
i'm anxious i was like there are times or i'm like one definitely one of the uh things i've had to
learn because like because i'm super worried about our time limits all the time i'm like no no no
let them have it like just shut up don't say anything just sit back you you kind of play the game
for a bit too much thorn just shut the up let them figure it out and then it just goes
goes from let's kill them to all right let's kill
i just i'm reading too much into the fact that it's a nest right so i'm like oh
shit there are going to be too many spiders or something like that we've never wound up in a
situation where there's too many things and it's ended poorly before and then they eat one of our
party members yeah that's never happened wild never
all my creatures was actually being prophetic when he said he was going to kill me that you
know yeah why would we be i did it before i'll do it again who you shooting yeah but now beetle
it is your turn first your first like i don't think you've ever been first before
i don't think i've ever been first in my life okay so i am going to
device stratagem he raises his striking jazale loads in a little blister ammunition let me see here
uh one i'd also like to see if i can recall knowledge for any known weaknesses on the spider
sure thing roll me a roll me a nature check okay let me see one thing since beetle shows the spider web to
be their current thing that they're tracking yeah would that account in the spiders in said web
uh yes it's specifically about the creature in the web i'm using the web to find out about the creature
then you get to uh do the device of stratagem for free yes yes so yeah the known weakness and
device the stratagem both go into one turn yeah uh you rolled a range strike instead of a nature check
check sorry sorry sorry that was my uh device the stratagem and then here's my here's my nature
check sorry i'm doing both i got distracted i can't talk and roll at the same time yeah you're sims don't
worry yeah oh my god awesome okay that's a total of 27 for the nature check and a 25 to hit
do the roll of a 27 uh go and ask me two things about this spider uh is it venomous and
what is it weak to like fire acid ice does it have an element you know you do know that it is venomous
uh if this thing bites you in any way uh you're gonna have to make some saves against its uh spider venom
okay which you will know which i'll give you the details for but you just have to make a fortitude
save or else you will suffer a crap ton of poison damage and you'll be off guard for a round okay as
for weaknesses it has it has no weaknesses basically uh there's nothing there's nothing of like slashing
you'll do more damage so everything is going to be applicable to it this thing is extremely venomous
do not let it bite you and uh it's not weak to anything okay good luck and he fires
and with your roll with your uh checking it out strike you got a 25 on it you know you'll hit
yep so roll for damage
let's see if the sound effect blows our ears out it does not okay it didn't play yeah it didn't play
nice those are 22 points of damage as he plow plow fires a bullet off into the webbing he reloads
he fires again without devise a stratagem let me turn that off
uh no weakness yes she remembered
okay okay this isn't froggy this is a froggy drone
i hit again you hit again it's a 29 to hit and i roll again you're rolling again
13 points of damage pow just right into the spot and you see that several legs get shorn off
oh and that's that's the end of my turn i i go lay trap card face down and end my turn
you see the spider that you just shot and then begin to climb over
is that it's sorry can we hear that again please what does the spider say
got to give it height i don't want to kill this spider anymore
forgive me i've got to get him hype
it will skirt around pissed off
i'll put to the side of you just for convenience sake it'll skirt over hello it'll skirt over through
the ceilings no no no one of its actions it will
it will descend it'll descend on a web for its other
you know come up to you beetle yeah the plan comes together yeah and it misses because it rolls a three
on the die oh thank god but i do have a villain point
fuck you
we argued for 15 minutes we argued for 15 minutes and then we decided oh just put him there that
he won't be eaten it's fine and you do this oh sorry i rolled damage my bad yeah excuse me roll
now he hits you with a 19 on the die he almost crits you oh my god
only dealing 12 points of damage to beetle
i need you uh now that you know what it does i need you to make me uh this fortune save please
spider beetle spider beetle has anxiety and climbs the walls oh
that's total 23. am i safe beetle
he didn't get super oh no beetle
and that'll be the end of its turn
why don't you be so mean to me
another spider will come out from the bottom
oh christ what
hearing the gunshot noise
it spins two of its actions moving up says hello to talim
it will try to bite you
misses that's all that it can do okay it looks at you
complete with those sounds
the spider from across the room begins to make its move it stays up onto the ceiling spider
across the room looking at everybody else
they don't know i'm a vtuber
great you see the spiders begin to crawl up around everywhere and descend on you even see little
tinier spiders here coming over at your feet what do you do she's just she's confused as
why these spiders are making this noise because this is the first time she's ever heard a spider
make these noises uh but uh
back um so she's going to declare the spider that just grabbed a beetle her targeted prey and then
she's going to cast gravity weapon
and then she's going to attack with her mom bailey that what's already drawn so she's gonna just toss
it at it put down beetle because gray's a bomb would it be rather be known as a mom bailey yes i'm
gonna uh use my hero point and uh reroll that thank you chat for the hero point and i missed again okay
that's it that's my turn oh god
i've been playing x-com so every single time you guys miss i'm like that's x-com baby
miss every shot and miss every 90 you take hope y'all miss this oh boy because i sure did
but dude we have like an 85 chance to hit we are in close range combat misses how
is another spider comes up from the bottom oh oh no looks at heart it says exactly that a lot of slurs
oh no rose a three on the die unfortunately and terribly misses as it tries to bite you hard but it
can't get through your thick skin that's right because my skin isn't skin time it is your turn
it is my turn all right well
let's do my first action to raise my shield it's been my second action
draw my weapon it's been my third action
target the spider in front of me and attack me
it says no because i i i i didn't specify that i had my weapon out before we started so
don't you have a focus spell that allows you to raise your shield and strike in one action it
does but i still have to like pull my shield out and like even then like i get like a second attack
i'm i'm a-okay with you coming in knowing you're going into danger that you would have your weapon
out we did spend 15 minutes talking about it yeah i'm yeah i'm pretty confident you'll have it out
thank you thank you for trying to like be fair with it like i'm okay with you just like oh i don't
come in the danger swink so i'll give that to you take it take it no i yeah i'll take that i'll raise
the shield and um in that case i will then no i still have to like no wait no i don't have to draw my
weapon you just specified that but my weapon's already out raise my shield and then i'll spend
two actions do a spell strike on the spider in front of me with um uh with a uh what's it called
gouging claw funny extra spell strike stuff yes what i need to do is i target this guy and then i roll
a regular attack if i can remember how to navigate the freaking menus there we go
uh yeah yeah we have gen cons happening currently and and everyone had to go on break because of
this but do i have a hero point i do have a hero point you know what yeah oh i already wrote that
using a hero point oh my god thank you um all right so that is the uh that is the damage for my for my
ass coil and i'm like oh no the joke's old stupid oh nice sword there we go how about that i thought
something real bad yeah when you unequip the ass coil does it go
i hate that never mind i didn't miss this i mean it is also connected you know what not tether oh wait
no that no i don't have to roll for attack for that i just rolled the damage yeah girl damage for your
god and claw so uh yeah that's it's all that damage on that guy and uh my shield is raised uh
like how one of one of one of the chat was like huh minus one k
i've applied the damage why'd you go across the room to do that uh because i'm bleeding randomly i
don't know why uh oh yeah i don't know all of a sudden just blood's everywhere uh i'm figuring out
so basically you basically do 17 and 15 points of damage and the spider has persistent bleed
thanks to your gouging claw excellent job
it looks like ichor and just the juices begins to leak out of his abdomen and legs you've straight
yeah i believe that is your turn right yeah yep that is the end of my turn excellent job heart
this boy in front of me i'm gonna kick him uh from the lobby yeah no i'm gonna kick the spider from
the lobby i perform a shove attempt all right let's see it let's go
i rolled a two for a total of a 22. the spider is i know you can do a hero point but currently the
spider like rings up on his back legs and clashes with your hands and like no that happened and the
spider in the background's rooting it on god yeah and then the one spider is like like it's like it's
there goku at this moment yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no no it's all right fighting it's the
wrestling test of power where we both clutch our hands and we try to push each other over yeah but
then but then but then i kick it it's a critical success and thus uh it is moved 10 feet back
okay uh how would you like the i could do it back let's see back it'll go no that's fine
it'll go do exactly that i'm gonna put it here just for convenience sake so you kick it backwards and
go yes and you're gonna follow up with it that's right i will move up to one square here and then
i will use my two other actions to cast timber sentinel as a wooden heart appears right
let me see here it returns
right here in the middle of us so right there right there right there right there right there
right there ping door am i having a stroke i am okay so you basically you lock it with a spider
in a thing of strength you seem to be fall through the spider seems to be the beginning to get upper
hands but then eventually you just shift your feet a little bit and swing then you just kick that thing
and it basically falls off i need to figure out fall damage so i remember it off the top of my head
and uh do you want to know the basis for fall damage if you know at the top of your head just
yeah just let me know i know the basis for fall damage okay so it's falling 25 feet 20 feet uh
if i remember correctly every one beyond the 10 10 flat damage unless it successfully does the check
here also let's just read it up real quick so we kind of so everybody can learn uh if you fall more
than five feet uh when you land you take bloodstream damage equal to half the distance you fell
tree falls yeah so do 10 you fold it uh you can grab an edge and fuck it uh the damage
it's like 1d6 per thing so it was like 2d6 i think for it i think uh where's the damage
that's your turn it's 10 flat
oh yeah oh that's what it's done you take bloodstream damage equal to the half distance
you fell okay yeah so it just takes 10 really fucking scary yeah so it'll take 10 just
and it falls all the way down so you just kick that these balder gates three it just yeah yeah
soren presented me with a ledge and i have athletics i this is not a taunt this is an imitation
beetle it is your turn it's my turn it's my turn uh beetle has to start his turn unfortunately by
reloading okay okay and then he's gonna raise his apologizing to the spider didn't you reload last
turn uh i shot reloaded and shot again okay yeah yeah yeah and so for my second turn beetle's going
to create his neck and shoot directly up at the guy who's like playing slappy fight with his horns
right now trying to bite him devise a strategy there's no way he misses there's no way he misses
there's no no way he misses there's no he grits oh my baby let's go he shoots and he crits
kerplowey blam
that is 42 points of damage and he's bleeding he takes 1d6 bleed he's very dead you executed him
god damn it puts his gun up the barrel goes straight into the spider's mouth and he shoots
and it just all over the party as you put the barrel up to up to its head it looks down takes
out a wall it looks at its family and then
the wallet falls and there's like the spiders having like a like a hat on the sad piano music oh
my god god damn it it's like a it's like a 40 strad wife and everything just all there's like a kid and
the daughter they're not even spiders they're dressed as people they're people they're people
but like the spider heads are taped on yes yes and for the kids like the wife is completely normal
the kids have eight eyes yeah yeah
anyway the dad's dead now yeah sorry i'm gonna reload again and that's my last turn that's the end of my
third
the one spider in front of talim looks at the horrific thing you just did
just drink with his little mandibles and it will try to bite talim what no stop it
he hits you even with even with your shield up oh no oh no
he gets right past it he deals 12 points of damage uh do you like to shield block i i you know what
yeah yeah i'll shield block for the tanks of that damage yeah that's so cool yeah go to click yes and
reaction check your thing there for me wait in the chat do you see it or no no never mind i got it for you
all right uh so go ahead and just uh you can take out how much uh are you blocking fully i think 10 was
it i think 10 or five so it's been so long since i've had a chance to use shield block let's find out
together and it's okay you have a sturdy shield so your harness is 10 so you'll take 10 off of that
so you only take two damage and then your shield will take that 10. so your shield hp goes down by 10
and you minus 10 hp so you only take two points of damage
does my damage reduction kick in for that yes for you not your shield okay so yeah so
yeah what would you take damage reduction with like uh i believe you i believe you i just want to know
yeah uh non-magical damage except for uh ghost touch vitality or force oh hell yeah yeah you take no
damage nice yes but actually so here's the thing for for giant spider venom a target damaged
you didn't take damage you're good
it bites you again no it misses it rolled a natural one in fact thank god
i can't believe it went to go bite me dead tripped over its multiple legs and then it fell off the cliff
this thing's trying to buy it thinks it got a thing on you and you just just tank it you know
the other the other one further end it was hanging up on top of also it takes the bleeding damage
and it'll roll a recovery
it fails it keeps bleeding all over you to lean
the one that is 10 feet up will scurry over
and it will take the place
it'll take the place that his friend was before he fell down and try to get you heart
it tries to bite it fails roll nine on the die just missed by a little bit
it tries to bite one last time
it's okay little spider we all been there before and fails great oh my god upon watching
the spider basically get murked by beetle she'll spin around and uh the one that is dealing with
talim is now her targeted prey uh yippee here's hoping that this works she's going to try and uh aim
uh and throw her mom bailey at uh the spooder boomerang throw and i miss
she's gonna try again this is her last attempt this is her last action please
and i missed again oh great literally just cannot hit things it taunts you
what the she just looks like sad her ears just go it gives you that like you know when you like
cross your arms over onto the uh inner part of the arm like that it does that at you oh my god
it suddenly gets humanoid rigging
what is it like i think it's fallout when you like hop over a fence and then the the dog
suddenly switches the human rigging great just looks dejected she's that's her turn
the giant spider that was kicked down climbs back up with all of its move with two of its movement
it'll look at you heart and go and spit web at you
oh no more like shits it out at you and it does hit you no so basically
he shits so hard you were now encased in web
no basically a creature that hit by the giant spiders uh gets stuck to near a surface it can try
to move it can't move until it successfully escapes so that did not scale for its level i'll
get that scaled but uh basically you are constrained no don't worry i'll get out of this
i'm not worried you get out of these you get out of these i can't i can't break this web you can't
break this web i'm gonna eat this web you can't eat that web hold on i'm gonna see there's that now
fuck it whatever you just you just can't move all right that's what they could do talim it looks at
all right so this spider in front of me is still up right yeah okay so i'm going to spend my first
action he's also feeling bit down by the way so raise my shield and then i will spend another action
uh to actually hold on wait a second no i take that back all right yeah yeah okay
i spend my first action because my last action was to cast a spell use a spell strike to go into
arcane cascade as i channeled the remnants of the arcane energies through my weapon and armaments and
stuff like that then i raise my shield and then i will target this eight-legged freak that's a horror
movie reference i know and it makes me sad because i'm old i'm turning into dust before your very eyes
and i will and i will do a a regular attack on it
as uh talim just like whips the the his like snake sword around his head and he's just like he's like
gets fucking decimated so how do they defeat the enemy in the
uh talim just pulls the the the the virgil of like you think you saw a sword move and then he's
just like he clicks it back into a whole thing and it's like and it falls into like pieces yeah
all of its legs except one remain it's now just like a torso with one leg but it's still alive
oh and it's still suffering persistent bleed yeah that's the that's the end of my turn
heart damn these spiders are kind of they're kind of tanky like
it screeches yeah it's your turn another character would have tamed these arachnids uh but uh i don't
know what you're talking about yeah exactly uh watch kingmaker over at the patreon
uh yeah so um i'ma i'ma do this the basic good old way i will throw a rock at this guy
in front of me i will pick up a rock and i will put it on top of this little guy
i will put the rock on his head because no you know what you know what the guy who came up
he spat at me he did with his butt he did with his butt soren uh-huh how do i break out of the web
uh you have to make me an escape uh an escape action cool
uh that means that i will roll on athletics to escape awesome let's uh let's see it do you have
having a dc or should i roll uh you need to roll it because the thing it has it didn't i've scaled
these monsters up it's all good it's all good i rolled a six for a total of 26. you do not escape
that's super cool uh i will have to do it again because uh i am yeah otherwise you can't move
otherwise i can't move immobilize is a very bad one uh sorry i quick click too fast that was with
a minus five that is 20. i do not get out my last action will be to do this at a minus 10 penalty yeah
let's see if you can do it see if we roll super high yeah that's right baby
i rolled a nut 20. oh my god that's right that's right just like a commercial thing you're like
don't bump but i'm bum bum and all of a sudden you're struggling to pow and then the wind just
just just explode away from you it's hard being wrapped from head to toe his the smoke on his head
disappears and then you just see one big thing just bounce within it and then another one and then it
breaks loose and he stares at this spider and goes why that's my turn beetle it's your turn beetle is
gonna raise his jazale fully loaded devise the stratagem on this right here he closes
one eye he looks with the other eye am i gonna hit that no he knows he's not gonna hit that he knows it
will miss so he aids turns his sights and he aims past that spider to shoot at this spider
miss b we love it when he shoots without devices yeah podcast listeners i don't know what she's
shooting at either sorry that spider and then this spider and the other spider he doesn't know if
he's gonna hit that spider but he shoots anyway for the podcast he shoots the spider that's in front of
heart and then he missed and then he fired and missed again let's figure out a couple things
here real quick yeah yeah hell yeah so the first one you're just shooting normally right
you try to shoot at the first one he tried to shoot uh in front to leave okay he devised the stratagem
and he was like no that's gonna that's gonna miss do you have to shoot the target after you devise the
stratagem it i don't think so is this the foe's weakness in combat use it to formulate a plan choose
the creature you see roll d20 you strike your chosen leader this round you must have the day
uh if you if you miss the role of devices stratagem you do not need to follow up on it but you need to
use it if you're gonna shoot the same target yeah it's so he switched targets yeah so it should all be
good yeah he was like use intelligence or like bonus damage yeah he was like i'm gonna miss so he shot
this spider right here yeah i'll just i'll make it i'll just make it sure uh if you had to do a
multi-attack penalty or not you're good all right roll damage damage we're just triple checking
plow dash 13 points of damage just a leg falls off he reloads his gun and then he takes aim at that same
fucko because well he's committed now and he's just gonna fire again with the penalty hey i'll um
hey hey i'm gonna i'm gonna delete that you want to gamble what i got a random idea
excuse me i got a random idea so what are you what are you saying how do you like 50 50 chances
i love i love 50 50. okay so the thing that you rolled it was a plot you you missed by you missed
by a little bit yeah i'll give it to you i'll give it to you if we roll a 1d6 odds you're gonna miss
yeah evens you hit but if you hit you're basically doing it like a mlg montage like like
like like 360 no scope if you miss you shoot to lean okay yeah yeah i'm down i'm down i'm down i'm
down wait wouldn't it make more sense to shoot heart because i'm ricochet i'll just pick it on cab
really but yeah we'll shoot heart oh i see okay okay so you want me to roll a d20 no uh 1d6 odds you
miss evens you hit okay here we go blow on it blow on the dice blow on the dice i'm blowing on my
hands blowing on my mouse okay here we go you missed you rolled a three sorry heart hey froggy hey froggy
that's my bad i didn't yeah hey froggy can you say those lines real quick i i yeah i i hit i hit heart
that i shot heart the government hates us the animals are leaving oh wait
what's up you're shooting hearts yeah yeah yeah yeah we changed the heart you're fine okay all right
because i was like from an immersive standpoint it makes more sense if he shoots heart
all right throw me damage do you really need anyone else and then and then
and then
uh so those are 13 points of damage
oh no wait are they oh no wait no no they're not here we go yeah yeah
okay i'll take your roll yeah take mine that's so cool um
you take 10 points i don't i don't take any damage what yeah protect the tree
the heart-shaped tree gets in the way and uh blocks the bullet and then stares at be like what
the fuck dude sorry but why'd you go with your friends beetles sorry sorry misfire sorry
what do you mean misfire you clearly shot you're almost shot my friend in the back i was trying
to shoot the spider in front of him trying that's your version of trying yeah hey let's let's focus
let's work okay just what the man spider the spider comes over
spider comes over as a protector tree is wondering what's going on the spider will look at you spider
look at you to leave it is locked in battle it now all of a sudden has silver hair and it's flowing and
you know and you hear just rules of nature and it bites you these spiders are so bored they just larp
yeah i take my stains as we circle each other i look at the spider show me a good time erected
and it does a flip and it bites into you
what the fuck it does hit you it does hit you roll a 19 on the die hits you for 14 points of damage
uh would you like to block yeah i think you have your thing back takes two damage yes i have my
reaction bank because i haven't used it this round awesome so you do that called blammo that's right
kiwi uh my wait hold on so you take 14 damage yeah you blocked in uh the uh tree takes four and you
take nothing yeah it repositions itself it does a little spin comes at you again it takes four
yeah so your shield takes uh your your shield will take 10 unless the protector tree wants to take
the 10. no it takes um the damage that's after the hardness um okay yeah yeah it took two last time
it takes four this time your shield so it's hard yeah it's it's a it's a nifty little mechanic it
gets a lot better when you have like sturdy shields and stuff like that when you've got the higher
hardness because yeah i remember when they first were doing shields and i was so used to dnd of it
a shield just being a stat stick yeah basically being very close to ac i remember jason keely in the
office uh at plizo and stuff i was like can you re-explain shields to me you know because i'm just
trying my best to rip my head around it and you know it took me a while to get a get get around
to them because at first i was kind of like and then i was like no that this is way better if you
want to be a tank shields actually like feel good like do you have to have the stuff to like you know
repair them and stuff like that sure but they feel good like when it goes off and you can shield block
something yeah you're just like oh the the design motivation for it was that all the spell casters and
a bunch of other classes had a lot of maintenance to do whereas fighters generally would just show
up and be like uh i got nothing to do you know like they would just chill they just kind of mooched
off everyone else's stuff but now with shields they got something they care about so yeah anyway it
attacks you it misses the attack that misses it does another flip it tries to go after you and as it
stares at you talim its eyes close it has eyelids as it accepts its fate oh oh oh
shit takes the eight points of damage and dies from bleeding and then like it scrabbles against
it gets like one little scratching against him and talim just like like lowers the shield looks over
and he's just like mediocre
it didn't rank high it didn't rank high so important talim that's right kiwi this spider
is going to look at heart go and then climb over oh
it's going to climb over use all of its actions to climb uh not all of it just two of them to climb
over the ceiling behind gray ah
as it comes down like i'll try to bite you
hey hey she's like she's like flailing her mom bailey at it hey nope nope it misses you terribly
me too buddy me too great it's your turn
as she she continuously like she's like jabbing at it with her mom bailey before realizing hey wait a
second she's just gonna throw her mom bailey at it
all right roland that is her uh i declared tar uh target by the way um okay haunted target so that
was her first action uh throwing them on bailey is her second uh i hit with a total of 33 and i'm
gonna roll for dimauge
oh yeah that's 16. oh we really are raccoons
for 16 points of damage as you carve into it yeah and she's gonna keep using that momentum and using
uh her final action with the penalty to hit again or try and miss
she's gonna look at her mom bailey she's like okay what what is wrong with this
the one she needs to blow on the cartridge the one spider that was spinning from range backs up and
stays on the ceiling and it looks at heart once more and goes and it misses rolling the four on the
die and i'll spend a villain point the chat gave me sorry why why still this is that's right just by
it by a little bit i eat it it will try again not re-roll and it gets you on the second one because
we're rolling 19. what the you get me when i'm busy eating spaghetti come on i don't think you want
you are now stuck where you are the forbidden cotton candy and for its final one it will look
at to lean not have any potential chance of having this happen but if it rolls a nat 20 that'd be
really funny it tries to spit at you at the last hurrah just complete and of course it misses because
it's a minus 10. no no no that can't happen he moved never mind i was cheating tell him it's your go
okay so you've got the one behind uh yeah that's the one behind gray i'll move that corpse for you
you've got the one over here and you've got the one behind gray yes i'll do this quick show
so uh in that case i will spend an action to refresh my spell strike okay um i will then
uh extend the uh the snake sword out so uh it has a uh a 10-foot reach and i will use a spell strike
against that spider that is on the other side of gray using uh uh uh uh what's it called uh gouging
claw there we go yes yes uh as my sword takes over the supernatural sharp sharpness tries to bite
and graze feet as you're getting ready like gonna get them toes gonna get them beans looks down
wait do hyenas do they have toe beans yeah they have beans oh okay go get them toe beans
oh my god oh my god oh my god um so yeah uh yeah i'll just roll the uh yeah for all that uh that's a
total of uh 30 damage from the uh from the crit and um uh you still got gouging claw damage i still do
and slashing roads of nature we need like a 3d model of talim and like modded into like metal
gear or vengeance and stuff oh my god and uh yeah then i click that and uh that's another 35 damage
you put on yourself i got you okay you basically this thing pretty much just like still anime style
like string swing and then all of a sudden it turns into cubes the the the snake sword like comes in
from like each side of like minerva it's just like wind just like rushes past and this thing just like
just flies into pieces and then you just hear like the clink of like the sword coming back together behind
do you create doesn't even like look back she just like raises up like her hand and gives like a huge thumbs up
i think you have a turn left right or um nope that was all of my turns i refreshed my spell
strike as an action i used two actions to do a spell strike heart it's your turn hey watch this uh
uh heart will use weapon uh he will for one action uh target the funny spider with it is pretty funny
it is a pretty funny little guy uh so for for two actions he will uh shoot the funny spider
by picking a rock from the wall and it turns into a mambele shape ah the peasant's justice and he throws
it at the funny thingy but i i missed i threw i missed but it wiggles his butt yeah and as it wiggles
its butt i'm gonna use weapon infusion weapon infusion will now give me a funny the funny that i will
receive from this soren is that i will get the throne and agile effects on my next attack and
my other my second attack will then thematically be that the rock mambele ships off its head and flies
back uh as my last action will be to target the web that it is on because as you saw earlier when you
fucking pointed it out with its cool ability that it can descend on a string of web that web has an
ac and an hp right well is it on web it's on the ceiling right now okay is it on just the ceiling yep
oh that's super cool then then i'll just attack it no biggie uh fuck yeah 10 out of 10 here we go
rebound i got it on the rebound you did even with minus five heck yeah two damage two damage
i did 14 damage as the rock slides back and then shatters into multiple pieces the fire is totally
stoned he holds up his hand like he was going to receive it back and he goes i still have to train
on the receiving part i'm proud of you it looks great it's got promise speaking of receiving
it's beetle's turn what do you mean by that move on uh can i how many feel hold on i have 5 10 15 20 25 30
i can still shoot this bitch i can shoot this motherfucker okay so i shot i reloaded i shot okay
so i have to start my turn with reloading i only have three more bullets guys and then we're gonna
die down here and he's so he devises a strategy okay and he airs he's trying to see will i hit this boy
he will hit so he go and he shoots and then he starts reloading his second last bullet still chuckling
nervously will you save that last bullet for a guy for himself
oh my god froggy you say that how the is he going to shoot himself with a gun the length of himself
he's got a pretty big snout okay you just put that jesus christ
after that dark it's grace's turn we're gonna die down here final final spooder uh that is her her
her uh targeted prey and she's gonna look at the mom bailey in her hands and go come on stop it
she's gonna just throw it at it are you in range yeah i should be yeah
and i hit with a total of 34. you hit yippee
roll for that damage it's 15 damage noise and uh we're gonna try like cutting through it oh she's
like okay one more one more and uh we're gonna do it with the uh with the the penalty and it's again
hits with a total of 26 damage roll roll roll roll roll that's a total 20. you see this thing fly
through the air it's getting like eviscerated oh it's kind of half and its body just just flumps
down to the caverns below the the mom bailey like returns to her hand she's like was that so hard
and with that i like how you have conversations with your throwing offense that was awesome
hard grips onto the protector tree that wasn't too bad i thought there were going to be way more
spiders sorry for being such a little scaredy cat i have bad action to recharge my spell strike
like don't worry i have two bullets heart rips the protect protect the tree out of the ground
oh hi yeah shut up just a gun two bullets and just a gun two bullets and just my gun so
heart slaps the tree across this line oh hi heart it's so good to see you i mean what do you play
oh what do you mean i thought we were best of friends it protects you
it won't be that tall uh in which to make an entire bridge so you just put it in the middle of these two
squares in the middle oh you're not gonna just leave me here are you yeah
i protected you i kept you safe from the spider don't worry i dude you're not special i can make
infinite worst of you jesus christ heart has this like horrible conversation conversation jesus
talim is going to like scoot past everybody and float across first just in case they up the webbing
so the protected tree there it's like you're just
i'm not expandable am i don't worry guys he's not actually a living person what do you mean i have a
personality i like you're going to start working across the the bridge
she's just from going across the bridge
thank you for your service
has clinging climbers so he's going to climb the wall across
oh my god you have become spider beetle make me uh make me a climbing check yeah you got it all right
peter parker style just so the climb there you go it was athletics yeah i thought so
let me be
it's a 19 for a total of 28. yeah i think you're pretty good you may get across
uh can i search for any cocoons where they might have snatched up adventurers because i
listen we haven't gotten to quote unquote visit a store since the leshies i've man i'm hurting
don't really ask to go shop since fairy town you didn't ask what do you mean i can go back to the
entire episode not a single person ask if they could buy something can we have a weird merchant
in a long coat and a purple bandana on his face show up and sell you some bullets please okay
okay okay what are you buying you guys gotta cross yeah like heart tries to go across
just save us some time you get across just fine
the protector tree's like please don't let me just stay here and rock
heart stares at the protector tree makes a new one
now it's the two of them and they can just talk to each other wait that's kind of nice
you're gonna let us rot here aren't you you little bastard i protected you
don't worry in 10 minutes you will no longer exist
what do you mean you will just be a normal you will just be a normal tree don't think about it
oh i don't really know who this god is but jesus christ
makes a third one makes a third one keep that guy company
okay so as uh it's gonna run go ahead and make me a perception check beetle to see if you can find
thank you thank you oh wait i have regular jazelle rounds it's just the blister ammunition that i'm
almost out of that i got from the lishies jesus christ okay false alarm don't worry about it i'm
still looking though please god please please more supply no
you find five more bullets thank you there's like a rotten skeleton somewhere in the corner and you get
five more normal jazelle bullets thank you thank mercy from from the gm
what do you want to do any searches while they're here oh yeah sure great i'll give a look around
see if there's anything interesting uh maybe like you know leftover like potions or anything like that
i will roll the perception searching for loot you say
i rolled a total of 30. okay you got a 30.
i'm searching for the funniest looking skeleton i got a nat one
you find the most serious skeleton ever like you know like the one that's just like
that song has been ruined for me by veg use a different song
me and chat had a loving old show moment during one xcom stream all right let me bring up the
thing things of complications salty salty salty finds a skeleton like tucked into a dark corner
with its hood up looking at all the other skeletons
does it give me funny facts no but his his his eye sockets are are gray and he he died casting magic
missile of the darkness oh no yeah no that makes sense yeah let's see let's uh not a lot of people
too many stuff for perception we're planning to change this a little bit too because uh you're
gonna want to find a way to make this complication system a bit more player friendly because it kind
of sucks and roll a natural one they get kicking the balls again and we're like here you go
okay so what i'm gonna do is that i'm probably going to change someone's stuff here
what does that mean uh just to kind of
uh just to potentially move the issue that some people made shit really specific
just be like oh fuck you know um i mean that's just the eternal struggle yeah when i make it really
specifically we like it's like there's no fucking chance it's gonna happen so i'm just gonna change
it up a little bit i want to take your thing toad bear funny enough he's been waiting until 2022 to do
this it just never came through because he made it specifically for tanhauser specifically for a
revolution specifically for you know like all that type of stuff it just never went forward unfortunately
so thank you so much for your complication i'm gonna steal it for for the for the hyper selfish
capitalist group so their complication was called narrative dissertation and pretty much it's like the
revolution has begun and we're gonna take that prompt and run with it um but pretty much it was
like a few scholars have taken the collection of his bad deeds and we're gonna do stuff to it we're
gonna we're gonna change it up a little bit um if you don't mind we'll handle hearts real quick
so it might take some time heart you do find something awesome uh you find that there was a
venturer pretty much you you know whenever you go dungeon delving or so there's people who would
concentrate on fighting and keeping everyone safe and maybe there's someone who has a backpack
right someone who's gonna be the meal of it and you do find one unfortunately you summon three
protector trees around him without your knowledge
and so now they are wrapped around this guy because they're trying their very best to keep themselves from
falling and so they're still on this bridge and everything they're looking at each other like what do we do
oh no where are we at they all sound the same oh oh geez you know so uh what do you do you know
that is a backpack and you can tell it's full of stuff it hasn't been deflated or anything
yeah i think i'm grabbing the backpack i think you gotta kill those trees man i'm gonna grab the backpack
okay okay you walk up uh yeah yeah yeah i'm just uh just gonna make a little illustration of you
know these protector trees you know yeah yeah two and then there's like three you know
you gotta draw like little frowny faces i don't know how unfortunately this uh founder doesn't have
fine-tuning on this so okay okay we could again you know what i got a clip and post or something
i got a plan i got a plan uh oh where's the backpack store uh it's right in the right in the middle of
them really let me see just there we go there's uh there's one protector tree
so now here's another one here's another one you know they're all just kind of
i was kind of stacked up there so my version is really good now you're welcome uh so they're all just
there and you see intertwined between all of them is this backpack and they all look at you
you're going oh look at you just come crawling back
what do you want from us now huh more torture you monster
you're an irredeemable monster
hart strokes his shin doesn't hear these guys that much he's filtering them out oh as uh as hart sees this
backpack in the middle and he nods to himself like yeah yeah hey talim look at this
and he points at the bag in the middle i'm gonna grab it
and then hart points at one of the trees because they're plant matter and i want to create one bulk
worth of branch for where that backpack is
one bulk worth of branch yeah 15 pounds worth of a branch to expand from where that backpack is
i want to make a brand to grow the backpack out towards hart yeah i will have to perhaps lean over and
try to grab it or whatever so you're basically trying to basically grow wood out of out of them the
push the backpack to you yeah oh fuck it on there buddy the branch turns as you try to grow it going
you can't take control of my wood that easy i've rejected you you know i'm no longer part of your
magic i'm my own protector tree that will protect my friends soon i use the ability to extract elements
i rip a chunk from the protector tree
what the fuck you're a damnable monster
what the hell
you see one of the protector trees full of life as it was recently created not that long ago uh now
begin to wither and fade and it just crumbles to dust as it uh goes away like no it's terrible
do you want to know the fun part soren what's that
read the last part of timber sentinel my unique ability as a kinetic
if you have this impulse again any previous one ends at an ordinary tree
he doesn't turn into dust he turns into a normal tree
his face slowly disappears and his memories are withering away
it's okay friend i remember all the two minutes we talked about the opera i know i would have seen it
one day so uh these trees got me thinking about that stuff that i said to you back when we were in
that really handsy room and i said that i didn't have faith in you anymore or something like that along
those lines it's been a while um it's been like 20 minutes no i yeah i felt mentally like three weeks
i don't know team can tell he has the magic yeah i cast time since exactly how long was it since beetle
20 minutes
like it's been a while to leave was just like time since like like our magical hourglass appears in
his hand looks at it it's been 20 minutes i just i just wanted to
apologize because even though that was a secret you were keeping i think it's more reflective of maybe uh
who you once were and not who you are now but just hearing about it was a shock because it was
new information but i i don't believe that's who you are anymore um and i'm sorry
so lean would like as he's like looking around and like as you're just like oh my god
like in the background like that's in the background yeah it's like it's just like
around looking for like loot and like he like stops
he kind of like like tilts his head a little bit
fuck my side you
he'll slowly turn around and and i need to i need to i need to do the thing for this i need to
uh and he says no i meant it
i'm sorry i'm just i'm imagining what zoran's neighbors think of him yelling about
oh i'm i'm sure they only think i'm weird as fuck anyway like yeah they hear this all the time
okay so like uh to lean will like turn around and he'll just like
put a hand on top of beetle's head and it's like sometimes things happen
and they cannot be changed yeah but you look towards the future yeah
and then like looks past beetle or like then he like looks back over his shoulder he's like
what the fuck is her doing i don't know it just made me start feeling really bad i know i don't know
i just he's been i don't bullying that i can't tell the trees they're not people
we're living beings you fuck
heart grabs the back
so for your natural for your complication wait do we run into the tree because you failed
because you fail you fail to negotiate with them uh the complication that you try to grab the bag
but they do their best to grow and they rip up a good chunk of the bags a lot of the stuff falls down
but you're able to get some stuff uh some of the stuff shatter you see like potions and things and
everything else kind of fall out one of them explodes
and things in there but uh you are able to find yourself um 10 bullets
oh and you're able to find yourself
uh how many potions was it yeah
you stupid trees what do you think you're doing you're able to find three moderate healing potions
what did you say uh you're about uh three moderate healing potions oh moderate healing potions hell
yeah yeah i put that in your inventory heart so deal with that with you wish that's your hope
we're not gonna need those at the end of the game protect their tree and tosses it onto the
three other ones so they fall into bed i've given uh beetle uh the rounds and i'm also noticing you
are super over encumbered what the are you doing what am i carrying uh let me see everything
what is it uh okay well i'm not dropping my signed wanted poster from baldrick that's like
well let me see drop that is it all these gold pieces
i think it's all these gold pieces because i have a lot of gold yeah i mean you only got like 253
that wouldn't absolutely destroy you
maybe you're just a weak little guy maybe you're just a little baby man i might just be a baby man
baby baby man look at the baby man because you're wearing your backpack yeah oh well having my
telling him having his hand on beetle's head still like just squeezes his head like a stress ball
little baby man but of course hey beetle i got your bullet oh thanks man uh do you want to carry
this potion because i'm feeling a little heavy and also maybe some torches he pulls up five torches
what you do have five torches i have five five large let me see how much one is uh it doesn't
really change your weight all that much what what is my weight what is my weight i'm not carrying
shit i don't have anything i don't have anything it's all them snacks they've gone directly into your
tail i have no rations fat tail because you ate them all saturday oh my god so over there looking like
grape oh my god so as you guys um exchange items and stuff i assume you guys continue down the cave
system oh yeah yeah and as you guys continue down after that horrific display we'll see where they end
up next time after our break this time in raccoons beetle kissing a giant spider
oh man oh geez all right you guys saw that
what now we're back from our break
you're kissing you're kissing spiders dude i can't believe that beetle went for the arachnose
he's licking the pulpy i hate this show i'm guy over ending it
i'm guy over canceling this shit like
i'm tired of it
but as you guys continue through the cavernous waves you come across another room this room you
notice it's filled with water you hear you hear trinkles of rushing water entering inside the room
but the water itself seems pretty not fairly active but it's not still either you see that there are
multiple stone pillars where you believe you could hop across and that is what you currently see
dude i needed a bath for so long someone's a loofah
also oh my god also my horribly rendered pixelated rock over there that just didn't render right
i like it no no no no no no no we are in cataclysm that's a vanilla asset
yeah i like it's been real funny just playing wow recently like oh man look at all this new stuff
and everything else and i turn to the left i'm like that's got two polygons that is being held
together by two polygons in a dream like it's all funny i'll look at it and i'm like i pay you
fuckers like a lot of money a month we all pay you like did that fucker still here then i get
final fantasy 14 i'm like well you got like shit grapes like nothing yeah yeah there's spots in 14
in particular there's a cave that has like a really low poly rock and bad texture it's it's really funny
but heart took out a loofah or whatever yeah i summon a loofah wait wait wait wait hold up
let me let me ask lock if this is safe lock is this water okay i did i have to find the
fucking voice thing yeah yeah he hit us up to the water we didn't forget him huh yeah that'll be it
yeah it's fine okay go ahead the water seems nice and clean except for that spot over there
but what spot over where roll a perception check lock is telling you to roll a perception check
like beetle's eyes expand because he sees past the fourth wall life is like a video game
no so with your perception check of a 24 uh you guys begin to approach the water now heart you
the heart and as you're approaching it uh you see that it's fairly clean water but something
seems to like you know how like mud will disturb water and kind of muddy it out that's what you
kind of see with the murkiness of it but as you all are kind of getting closer and closer to it
beetle you notice that something is disturbing the water there's something underneath it
there's something in there there's something in there lock what is that
i mean how would i would know from this dude you have to stick your head in
i'm not doing that oh well you don't know then
stocks decide
all right don't sass me what's going on beetle uh there's something in the water but i don't know what
can we shine a light on it or something it's stirring up mud over there any points
in what direction is it that direction points just a general thank you okay
what do you want to know i'll take the roll perception check yeah agree he's going to get
a little closer to the edge of the water and also try and get a look-see
that is a nat 20 for a total 37 but that natural 20 you begin to see uh little tentacles
begin to i kind of pop up and feel near the edge yeah no fucking water oh no no um and then i
would use it oh i haven't had guests in so long uh i would back away from the edge i see tentacles
uh this is the only way to go you see uh see one of the tentacles kind of
uh near the shore and it's come right back under the water i like how in chat we have the gray doge
emote and somebody stuck it next to a tentacle just like in parentheses nope
it's so good
so either we need to be very careful or prepare for another encounter with something creepy and
crawly i mean worst case scenario we'll talk to it again we have had a surprisingly good like
efficient way of either eating or befriending tentacled creatures yeah what is what's up with
that i don't know what if i fire a bullet like a warning shot into the water like a reveal yourself
tentacle don't worry i mean i could i could do that with my mom bailey and you don't have to
waste your ammo do you want to like see what it is beetle yeah yeah heart grabs beetle
deep breath hi deep breath you're gonna lift me up and my head's gonna be missing deep breath all
right deep breath you're gonna lift me up and my head's gonna be missing deep breath all right
all right do not put me in the water do not put me don't put me in the water
don't you put me in the water heart puts two fingers on top of beetle snoot and he goes
breathe in he does and then he puts him under the water
lark help oh shit as the as the thing begins to surge forward
and here we go you can't quite see do the water now being a little bit more murkier
but um the shape of it seems to be slightly familiar to you beetle what as as you see it
comes up you see like tentacles are like all around you but they don't touch you as if they're like
kind of like feeling around you in a weird way and then as you get closer you see a row of teeth
and like this slimy just sort of like just icky skin but also like a really big mouth that kind
of comes near you and you hear under the water like
and as it surges up which i imagine heart you would pull beetle up at this point
yeah beetle is screaming out of the water you see a familiar face it is charles the audio
no no no charles
it's back
oh my god sorry i have to do it oh my god i missed it
hey hey i can't believe you guys are down here
charles is just like in the back and he's just like are you fucking serious
charles the prodigal son returns
charles i can't believe it's you
i can't believe it you guys i was seeing you since i got with my
my
what happened no no what happened
charles begins to get teary eyed and kind of slunks back into the water
charles no what happened
she's not talking to me
oh darling
i don't know i don't know if it's because i don't think i'm stinky or anything
do you want to stink yes
i try my best to keep my mouth not filled with little bits and bombs and
i don't know why she's not speaking to me
oh dear
poor thing
well it's good to see you guys i don't get a lot of friends coming down
yeah it looks like the entire above ground is coming underground because
something like a fire is going on up there so something's going on up there
yeah you might make more friends
oh yeah
the ruins seem to like move or some shit yeah yeah yeah
well we're not finding new friends
you kind of like you kind of like stuffles left and right and call it like a little happy dance
yeah
oh we love him
oh oh talim
talim just like stiffly and slowly turns towards heart and he's just like
yes heart
we finally get to ask him that one thing we wanted to ask
huh
we never we never got back to charles to ask him about you know where he found the thing
the talisman
the talisman
the talisman
charles
yeah
oh that that remember that shiny that you gave us for helping you
yeah yeah i remember that thing that helped me get my date
yeah it uh it's adhered to our bodies
yeah it turns out to be um
dope
cursed
yeah so where'd you find that thing
oh i found it in a dark place
an evil place
really the only shiny thing i found down there
and i loved it but you didn't love it
so i'm glad you took it away from me
a dark evil place
yeah
there was a big old gates
huh
and there was over there lying on the ground
there was a little scrumptious little dude holding on to it
so i ate them up and i put that thing in my head
next to our gate
yeah
big old gate with a bunch of carvings and stuff on it
we're gonna have to go there aren't we
i think so
okay
uh
great
i don't suppose you know where that area is in relation to this pond
oh yeah
i can do it in nice and easy
charles
could you do us a solid
i am solid
you sure are buddy
he wiggles
it would be amazing if you could show us
where you got this thing so we could get rid of it
why do you want to go there
we think that's
well that's where it came from
so it must want to go back there
it keeps telling us to make it whole
make it whole
so i think it wants to go back
yeah
and become one with the structure again
yeah especially if you like
especially if you like
ate the guy who had it
yeah
heck maybe they were on their way to bring it back
well
yeah maybe
i'm more than happy to bring you there
but uh
i don't want to leave without
making sure my girlfriend doesn't
it's okay
that she doesn't hate me first
yeah that makes sense
i don't want to leave you know
things like it's over over you know
yeah you said she stopped talking to you
just out of nowhere
yeah i don't know what's wrong
oh dear
you know where she is
no she's got another little pawn to herself
if i can tell you how to get there
maybe you can convince her
and try to talk to her
and see what's wrong
yeah
yeah wait a minute
we'll do that for you
we can wingman
yeah
we did it once
yeah if it's an exchange for
you know
you know what
no no
even if it were just for an exchange
i would do this because i like you
yeah charles is our friend
he blushes
we'll see what we can do
uh charles massive hulk
you know kind of like does a little dance
inside of the body of water
i love him
his giant mouth
with his giant rows of teeth and everything
he just gets a big smile
going like
oh i'm in my honey
i'm in my honey
he's just kind of like
little
he does a little sing and a dance
as he's happy
oh my god
i love him
i love him
i love him
here i'll show you how to get there
just hop on top of these stones
and help you out
oh okay
yeah
sounds good
yeah
yeah
we can hop on top of those stones
like
and so what he'll do
hop on top of those stones
he will to
because if you decided to hop in
and not talk to charles
this would have been a whole bunch of skill checks
but for the sake of time
uh
i'm gonna have you guys basically just kinda
like he will help you out
like you can like hold on to him
and go over
so assume everybody wants to hop over
yeah we took too long
fighting spiders
i hear ya
i mean
i could make you do a bunch of checks
but it would literally just be
oh i fell in the water
let me get back up
it'd be like
it would literally be looking at the live streamer
playing super mario sunshine
it'd be like
vod watcher skip five hours
because this has nothing
i'm just imagining like
lock every time we fall in
he just sighs and just goes
okay try again
just sigh
just fucking idiots
so
he will help you across
now
chat
i wanted to save this for you
because i think i named
the girlfriend a long time ago
but i think i'm gonna
give chat
a little thing
what's the girlfriend's name
give me suggestions in chat
i don't think we ever did give her a name
no you guys didn't
like i remember what she is
but i don't remember her name
yeah i know what she is
yeah that's not changing
betty
brenda
oh that's such a good name
it's cute
charlaine
betty the shambler
charlaine
i like charlaine
we got betty and charlaine
so
for you guys
so for us as a group
type one for betty
or type two for charlaine
in the foundry chat
one for betty
two for charlaine
in the foundry chat
oh
one for charlaine
yeah
there you go
wait i thought one was betty
no i was saying
taline
or cab did two
that's for charlaine
so
that's what i was saying for one
so it's even
thanks
her name is betty charlaine
all right
uh
three
odds is one
evens is two
it's charlaine
it's charlaine
let's go
charlaine
it's like
it's a cute name
either way
we win no matter what
charlaine
charlaine
no
no i won
i my choice won
i won
i win
okay good for you buddy
i win
i'm the winner
where's my gold
you know i gave you
more gold
than any campaign
would allow you
need more
and i almost
took it away
that's true
that's true
so as you guys
continue through the cave system
charlaine
take two lefts and five rights
you find my darling charlene
maybe just figure out what's wrong
oh charles and charlene
oh my god
two lefts and five rights
that's right
we go
she's like doing that on her finger
like she's like doing that
on her fingers
like wait
that's gonna lead
is there an up and down
is there
she's trying to figure it out
you go through the confusing cave system
and you find yourself
into another room
this other room
also has a body of water
it's a river flowing
more like a stream
going downstream
or a fall going downstream
sorry
i can't english no good
should we knock
before we go in
um
julene like looks around
and he's just like
hello
miss charlene
hello
is anyone home
julene was just like
in the back
he's just got his arms crossed
he's like
dude you get better
fucking get in on this
imagine that we can finally
get rid of this talisman
yeah you must have spent
like plenty of time
with the ladies right
because you're old as
as balls right
like you're real old
and dead
damn dude
you gotta know how to talk
he's got his arms crossed
and he like
looks down at beetles
like remember when i said
that you know
like we only have the future
to look to
uh yeah
you do realize that part of that
is thinking about
what you're going to do
in the future right
what do you mean
including the things
that you say
oh
oh
well i just
wait so does that mean
you didn't really have
a lot of luck with the ladies
or
are you into dudes
heart can you hold beetle
on the water again
yeah sure
what what what what
perhaps charlene is in the
uh is in her pond
yeah yeah yeah beetle
beetle look for her
she jumps him underneath
the surface
i didn't know uh we were
encouraging waterboarding
and fucking rocket
like
it's not waterboarding
we've seen worse
all right
it's
enhanced searching tactics
this is the torture episode
you
roll me
roll me perception check beetle
okay
why did it
oh it rolled in secret
i don't know what i rolled
it's okay
i'll show it to everyone
no
you probably click the uh
secret toggle there
on the bottom there
i totaled 28
that's so cool
with uh
lock try to
lock tries to help out
your vision
and you do see
something down below
a mess of vines
and you see these vines
are in a shape
of
what you would describe
as
still a monster
but a lovely lady
you know
if it had
if a monster had curves
right
and
yeah
so basically
hold on
you've activated men
unfortunately i don't have
any art
specific for this
it's just like
i don't have any
art specific for this
but you
you get the idea
so
i just approach
just
the sexiest mound of grass
you've ever seen
but you see
uh
that's a sampling mound
uh
looks up at you
and you
just because of
the role that you have
you can tell
that it is frightened
oh
oh
beetle waves
it's like
it slinks away
closer in
it's kind of like
in the way of like
an octopus
it tries to hide
behind some rocks
that are
underneath
oh
and
oh
i would like to
show something
at least
um
tolene
quick question
you have some grass
have you been
maintaining light
at all
no
cool
uh oh
i need you all to roll me
initiative
if you don't mind
oh
okay
dude
dog
doogie
doogie
doodoo
doody
doody
doodoo
oh
bag
ba da ba
ba da ba
ba da ba
ba da ba
ba
i'm not loving it
sorry
i went over
there
i got excited
over monsters
okay
okay
all right
we're gonna see
what she's scared of
yippee
now i wanted to know
if i could draw
a sexy shambling
mountain
definitely
you probably could
it's a tuft of grass
with hips
yeah
you make it sound
like this is a bad
thing
no it's awesome
a bunch of chats
just like
oh man
and then the rest
are like
what the fuck
she look like
the green mother
the green mother
pathfinder
i'm pretty sure
she's just grass
with hips
no she's a
massive man-eating
plant
no
no she grass
with hips
why not both
don't take this
from me
i get to win
she grass
with hip
i looked her up
grass with hip
and sharp teeth
give
thank you
bye
i'm looking at her
right now
what um
oh i'm looking
at her
are you looking
at her avatar
i'm looking at
her right now
are you looking
at her avatar
monster fuckers
have more fun
than a pillow fight
so
hold on
is that a little fight
with the monsters
you know what i'm talking
about
wait wait wait wait
talim you notice
something that is
behind you
yeah
something comes out
from the dark
and it strikes
at you
right
reactive shield
oh shit
oh shit
a crit
even with
your plus
two to ac
it is still
a crit
god damn
it
and it
hits you
for 14
point
oh no
not 14
points of damage
i'm sorry
and you click
the crit
button
uh
for 38
points of
damage
oh my
god
christ
oh my
god
okay
but for you
you take
no damage
oh thank god
okay
is it
yeah
yeah
because of the
damage type
that it is
you feel
you see
something as it
tries to
pretty much
infect you
but it realizes
what you are
and it spins
an action
to disappear
oh
oh
that's bad
oh
guys
i'm in the
water right
now
yeah
yeah you
are
so
even
so like
i have dark
vision
yeah
yeah
so like
even then
like it's
still like
even then
hmm
i see
sorry
i'm making
sure i'm
getting
everyone's
kind of
thing
oh yeah
this thing
dominated
its role
all right
um
with that
beetle
you're
underwater
i am
um
i'm not
entirely sure
how to do
this
in initiative
but he
starts like
you know
he waves
at her
she goes
behind a
rock
he looks
confused
he doesn't
know anything
that's
happened
with
to leave
but he'll
just reach
back and
tap on
heart's
hand to
be lifted
out of
the water
yeah
uh
again i don't
i don't know
how this works
with actions
and turns
and initiative
i'm not
forcibly
holding you
yeah
you you have
freedom for
you to move
but you just
you can just
go anywhere
you want
like it's
just a fun
roleplay
thing
okay
okay so
heart pulls
him up
yeah
she seems
like shy
she's hid
behind a
rock
oh
she's hiding
yeah
like from
what though
i think us
oh maybe
i popped my
face in and
she saw me
and she
shirked away
yeah no
that makes
sense
um
well
he said that
she wasn't
talking to her
what if
she's
hiding
from something
yeah maybe
oh
like she
hasn't been
talking because
she's just
been hiding
at the
bottom of
the water
he didn't
say he
hasn't seen
her
it's possible
she's preparing
for something
it could be
talim what do
you think
it like
i i guess
that you know
like at that
point or
whatever is
like talim
is just like
ah like
and uh
like he
like from
like i guess
corner uh
where he's
at everything
like he
could be
seen in
the does
anybody else
have like
torches or
anything out
or i think
i have my
torch out
i don't
oh shit
oh okay
well yeah
like talim's
like over
there like i
guess in the
dark it is
just like
he's like
he's like
ah what
and like he
whips around
and uh
like puts
a hand
on his
heel
he's like
what
what was
that
huh
and uh
like he's
suddenly on
guard
and he's
like i
felt
something
i don't
know how
to say
it like
it's like
i was
attacked
but i
was not
more spiders
like no
it was
like
it was
there's no
another
spirit
oh
hell
beetle pulls
out his
gun
and like
he's like
looking around
but like he
doesn't
see anything
i guess
stay on
guard
and uh
you kind of
like
like step
of like
away from
the the
the walls
he's got
like kind
of like a
orb like
a clear view
all around
him
yeah
uh beetle's
going to
pull out
his gun
and scurry
over
to this
wall
and climb
it
so he's
looking down
on everybody
and he's
got like a
good view
of everybody
okay
and uh
probably
perception
okay
he's just
he's he's
in position
with his
weapon
that's a
you're looking
around you're
locked and
loaded
yeah
you don't
see anything
okay
that will be
my turn
i don't like
this
great something
hits you
oh no
it tries
but it rolls
a natural
one
i'll spin
a villain
point
what the
fuck
sword
i'll spin
a villain
point
and crit
you
okay
all right
yeah
okay
no that's
fine
dealing
points of
damage
what the
fuck
oh my
god
what is
going on
gray crumples
like paper
from the
sudden hit
she just
like falls
to her
knees
gray
what the
hell
it makes
no noise
as it
strikes you
again
oh
those are
the minus
five but
it does not
crit
and it
hits you
for 20
what the
stigma
heart
you see
this
spindly
shadowy
figure
does it
look familiar
it does not
look familiar
okay
it is
a humanoid
it is a
humanoid
creature
as if it
was a
stretched
muscle
and
rotten
like
sinew
i don't
like that
it has
burning
white
eyes
and
dark
tendrils
that have
been lashing
out at
gray
but it
makes no
sound
there's
no
screech
there's
no
roar
it is
just
as if
tiny
whispers
are trying
to kill
you
i don't like
that
i don't like
that at all
i don't like
that
i don't like
that
heart
will
spend
two actions
to
to
well
he
he
he
will
spend
one
action
to
walk
over
here
to
begin
with
to
try to
push
himself
between
gray
and this
thing
that tries
to kill
her with
silent
whispers
that's
kind
of
hard
but
he
will
try
to
whap
it
with
by
holding
out
the
hand
that
glows
with
white
flame
i will
strike
it
with
vitality
damage
let me
smack
it
you
hit
that
mow
that
is
damage
it
takes
it
you
see
parts
of
its
form
begin
to
sizzle
away
don't
get
the
fuck
off
back
off
and
that's
my
turn
tellim
back
the
fuck
off
um
as
this
thing
like
just
lashes
out
uh
at
gray
tellim
will
look
at it
and
do
i
like
here's
my question
as a
spirit
because i
like i
don't want
to medicame
it as a
spirit
myself do
i understand
that this
is also
like
a weird
incorporeal
creature
you would
understand
that um
i think
you can do
is roll
me recall
knowledge
check
and
can i
roll
occultism
yes
that is
a total
of
awesome
i'll
i'll have
you uh
be able to
ask me
three questions
because you
did so
good on
the roll
uh
but i'll
give you
just uh
other tidbits
information
uh
you know
this thing's
a shadow
spawn
basically
uh
this thing
is of
comprise
of
uh
like
obviously
shadowy
negative
energy
and stuff
so pretty
much like
stuff that
you're immune
to you would
imagine it would
be immune
to and it
knows neck roll
you know you
can talk to
these things
oh shit
and as uh
as with that
go ahead and feel
free to ask me
uh three questions
about it
okay um
uh
are
they
commonly
uh
sapient
like can they
form their own
thoughts and make
like their own
decisions or are
they like like
they're like
they're like
sentient but
they're like
they're driven
by their instincts
yeah it's like
it's a more
bestial or like
a person
um
okay
uh you
like you know
these things
like they'll
understand but
the you know
for in the
world of time
um you
understand something
may be influencing
this thing like
it could still
think on its own
and do its own
actions and it
can talk and
stuff or maybe
even be convinced
um
so that's what
you know of
these type
for that context
in the world
of time
that's how
these are
okay
uh three
questions
what's another
good question
uh i always
struggle with
these i can i
can uh give
you suggestions
if you want
like its
weaknesses
what sure
damage things
um yeah
yeah what is
its weakness
it's like i'll
i'll flip it so
you can kind of
know what you're
like oh god
need to watch
out for this
yeah it has
no weaknesses
um the thing
that you would
notice of what
heart did that
vitality damage
is what's gonna
hurt it because
it has void
healing because
you could do
anything with
like void
damage which
is like it's
changed for a
remaster that'd
be like undead
stuff chat just
for context
um or like
negative energy
is what we're
looking for
for what it's
immune to in
resistance with
that can help
you on that
it's immune to
a lot of
things like
uh bleed
death effects
disease
paralyzation
poisons
precision and
being unconscious
it's immune to
that and
resistance is a
resistance to
all damage
except for
force stuff
ghost touch
vitality damage
or spirit
and uh and
it has double
resistance for
against all
non-magical
attacks
god
oh my god
oh fuck
uh well
and in that
case i have
uh one more
because i gave
you a lot one
more question
of course if
you if you
want to call
home you can
ask the party
for suggestions
that's fine
yeah i'm gonna
let the party
take this one
because i can't
think of anything
like this is
yeah is this
a creature
that like
pertinand and
crew could
have some link
to no if
they're servants
okay okay
well that's
that yeah
that's that
um well in
that case
that's my first
action
now that was
that is an
action to recall
knowledge
oh okay
well in that
case i'm gonna
spend my second
action
to uh
to lean is
actually going to
just like bolt
directly to it
and uh god i've
been waiting for
this all fucking
game i'm going
to grapple
do it
yeah
yeah
spears the
shit
yeah
like fucking
full-on like
goldberg
tackles the
shadow
save us
yeah
as it's just
like it's
hunched over
like having
like clawed
down gray
to leave just
like fuck
i appreciate
that the second
that grandma
got hurt
everyone went
no
so actually
let me uh
let me see
if i um
if i can find
this
imagine existing
as a corporeal
creature
where no one
can struggle
back like
their struggling
arms just go
through you
and you can
walk through
walls and
shit and
then someone
comes and
choke slams
you
the world
flipping event
that that is
yeah so um
yeah i i i
i target the
shadow and i
guess i
feel like i
do a grapple
oh yeah target
it and click
that athletics
button in the
chat there
you see what
it says like
you tend to
grab a creature
and blah blah
and it has
the athletics
button
target it and
then do that
and it'll do
all the math
for you
oh and i
don't have a
hero point
are you
fucking serious
of course i
roll a three
on it
quick keep
talking about
it so chet
has a chance
to give you
a hero
so here's
the thing
you can do
uh it is
it is like
an attack
because it
has the attack
tag um
you can roll
again but it
will be at
minus five
because you
you didn't
attack with
the with
your first
action
because i did
a knowledge
check i
moved
and then i
did a grandpa
oh yeah this
would be your
last turn
wouldn't it
yeah
yeah
it's okay
you got a lot
of helpful
information
otherwise people
will be like
really confused
so yeah i'm
sorry
yeah that sucks
man
would talim tell
uh tell us
uh what's up
with this thing
like as he's like
running out he's like
he's like he's like
it's a spirited
tent
like it's like
it's like
bunch of shit
yeah yeah just
bunch of shit
just blah blah blah
he's like like
fumbling with this
thing just like
slant fighting it
as he's trying to
get a grip on it
but it's too like
it's too wiry
yeah
gray it is
your turn
gray is going
to
rapidly back up
from this thing
so using one
action to move
uh and then
she's going to
dig out a
healing potion
yippee
yippee
and i'm gonna
use it's a
lesser healing
potion so i'm
going to use
that and
rolling for the
healy dealies
there you go
her last action
is declaring
that's her
targeted prey
nice
now
beetle
she's just like
she's like
freaking out
she's like what
the fuck is
that but she's
also like in
pain so i don't
have any magic i
don't know what
to do he's
gonna uh spend
his first action
descending from
the wall and
then he's going
to patch up
gray i thought
of a thing
like i don't
have any magic i
don't know what
to do and
someone's gonna
be positive
reinforcement
like but you
are magical
all right he's
gonna calm
down and he's
gonna treat
graves of
wounds
grandma's just
like uh
all right that's
25 hit points
restored to you
yay
am i able to
do it again
oh no wait
you're full health
now you're fine
okay i'm not
uh uh
yeah like a
sliver
yeah it's like
seven points
it's it's
uh
uh
uh
intimidate the
spirit
with color
lights
oh my god
wait that's
that's so smart
it's not gonna
do anything but
it makes sense
to do and it
fills a turn where
i'm frantic and
i don't know what
to do he's gonna
okay what mushroom
should i throw
do do do do
do do do do
do do do do
do do do do
demoralized
spirit
uh he's gonna
pull out a yellow
mushroom and he's
gonna he's gonna
yell to reduce
mental stress and
he's gonna whip it
in the direction of
this thing
roll me a
probably an unarmed
strike there
oh i had gray
selected as well
by accident
it's okay i know
what the ac is you
fucking whiff
uh
mushroom goes
flying through
talib's head
it just
just bounces
harmlessly
harmlessly off the
wall
yeah that's my
target
beetle is my
favorite darkest
dungeon mpc
oh my god
could you imagine
that a raccoon's
darkest dungeon
mod
i would i would
stream that
all right
the shadow
just kind of
don't have
reactive strike
yeah it flies
over you heart
no
and it
melees you
no
no
it crits
oh fuck
that is a
crane
dealing
32 points
of damage
to you
oh my god
sure is
no
no
sorry
yes
make a force
save
what'd you
just say
make a force
save
it succeeds
it's never
gonna succeed
it's gonna be
the last episode
it's gonna work
once
it strikes you
again
it hits you
yeah
dealing normal
damage this time
there was no sound
as the tendrils
basically like as if
they would crack if
they whipped at you
it just yeah
just goes through
you in severe
pain courses
through you
as you take
13 more points
of damage
and that
is all that it
does
heart
it's your go
heart
whinges in a way
that no one has
seen before
because he typically
can you know
take a bullet to the
back of the head
and he doesn't really
do anything
but when his
ichor on his
inside
is touched
he wins
this out
in a
manner that
you've never
seen him do
before
yeah no one
likes having
their blood
fingered
exactly
my ichor
I hate it here
plate my veins
like guitar strings
that's right
heart
will hold
his hands
up
and summon
a
single
little
piece
a little
a little
wooden
vial
above him
and then he
basically
drenches himself
in olive oil
as I create
fresh
products
and I activate
fresh products
healing myself
a 4d4
plus 16
now here's
the cool
factor
not only do I
get healed
by this
I now have
resistance
against
weight damage
that's two
actions by the
way
one action
to create
it
one action
to then
eat it
oh
now push it
boy
yeah so I
hit a bunch
of hp
why did you
strike that
off
because I
already healed
you
oh
oh
oh
that's awesome
and then
so that's
two actions
and then
for my
last action
heart will
try to
slap
this guy
with my
cool
kung fu
no he
doesn't have
kung fu moves
this guy
ain't trained
uh he
he'll uh he
double we
chest slaps
uh this
uh spooky
ghost
with a hand
that flashes
white uh for
one second
fucking
will smith slap
yeah
hold another
six
for
total
for
me
it's a
redemption
art
okay here
we go
first action
if I could
step up
second action
we
we
we
we
try to
try to
grapple
him again
hold up
before you
roll
before you
roll
I'm gonna
I'm gonna
inspire
um
I'm gonna
inspire luck
one second
yeah
you're gonna
inspire luck
one second
uh
is it
Potemkin
Potem
Ken
oh
armor clad
faith
yeah
yeah
armor
armor
clad
faith
what is
happening
look
he's been
waiting
I'd like
a year and
a half
for this
like
like
I've
I've
I've
I've
I've
got it
you got
can you
send me
the link
please
I can
I can
actually
I think
I could
just send
you the
uh
no I
don't
oh wait
hold on
wait
you got
this
I understand
for podcast
listeners
and
VOD
watchers
like
this is a
setup that
we just
it has
to happen
we gotta
do it
before he
rolls
we have
to give
him
strength
this is
our spirit
bomb
so chat
as we're
getting this
ready
arms up
give to
lame all
of your
fucking
power so
we can
crit
this
fucking
grapple
he's been
waiting for
this
who have
our emotes
I know
there are
you have
plenty of
arms up
emotes
oh here
we go
I found
it Zoran
I will
send it
to you
directly
in our
little
little
chat
this is
it
okay
this is
it
oh god
this is
it
this is
it
my arms
are also
up
all right
everyone
let's play
it
let's play
let's
play it
on go
okay
let me
let me roll
the athletics
check
no we got
to do it
first
we got to
see if it
fails
we do this
first to give
it power
that's what
we're doing
okay
let's go
if it fails
it's just funny
all right
we're going to
click play on it
together
and then
you roll
as it's playing
okay
so it gets
your roll
ready
make sure
you're targeting
him
all right
targeting him
we're going to
play it on go
five four three
two one
go
yes
you
you
idiot
you jumped
over
heart
no
let's
go
yes
is this
dude like
like flips
over like
heart like
claws him
in the back
like to leave
it's just like
you fool
and steps in
and just like
grabs this
thing by the
throat
yeah
and uh
actually now
that i have
him grappled
uh
fun fact
uh
like you can
you can still
like attack
when you're
grappling
right
you sure can
as long as
you have one
hand free
you can
beat the
shit out
of it
yeah
well
yeah
minus five
but you
definitely
can
yeah
you have
like a
small like
finesse
weapon or
something like
that right
yeah
um
so uh
fun fact
this entire
time uh
talim has
been wearing
bladed
gauntlets
so like
so like
as he grabs
this thing
by the
throat
he rears
back the
other fist
and a
shank
pops out
above his
hand
and he's
just like
he's been
waiting
he's been
waiting
the entire
game
yes
knife crime
finally he
can stab
finally
he can
be
british
this
turns
into a
fallout
london
stream
just
we're
just
stabbing
people
like
oh
like
oh wait
no i
gotta
minus five
that but
it's okay
i know
you hit
okay
all right
so yeah
i just
you know
just
just a
little bit
and uh
all my
weapons that
i have
are ghost
touch
so
because
i'm
ghost
touch
you come
in
shink
and you
basically
just
punch
into the
you punch
into this
thing's
chest
and it
viciously
vibrates
and just
contorts
and everything
there's no
scream
there's no
sounds
has it
by the
neck
in a
death
grip
and you
see it
and you
see it
dissipate
as it's
violently
shaking
and you
feel the
grip of
it
grip
your grip
on it
fade
as it
fades
then counters
it
oh
oh
what
oh
oh yeah
spirit
counter
spirit
that's
that's
so
logical
there's
I don't
know what
just happened
but
all my
body
hurts
no it
makes sense
like imagine
a ghost
assassin is
sent after
you but
you are
a ghost
so you
can beat
the shit
out of
him
Talim as
you pull
your hand
away
the hand
that was
grabbing onto
the specter
you see
just remnants
of it
is it
dead
Talim you
would know
that you
killed
Talim
like just
drops a
hand by
side and
like the
the knife
on his
gauntlet
like back
into the
gauntlet
it's like
it's
been
dissipated
high five
okay
hold on
I gotta
high five
I had to
roll that
leg
to see
the silence
in
anticipation
people
pause
heart
accidentally
still has
vitality
damage
on
oh I'm
sorry
oh my
god
I've
specifically
had
those
gauntlets
for I
don't know
how long
just for a
situation
where like
maybe I
had to
grapple
something
incorporeal
or like
I had to
do something
that like
would involve
having Talim's
hands free
and I'm just
like
I finally
got to use
him
you were
ready for
this moment
you waited
so long
I'm
Batman
has another
meaning
with the
destruction
of the
specter
you see
a shambling
mound of
vines
come out
on top
of the
water
poking
its head
out
she's
so hot
as much
as the
art is
pretty much
just a
tangle
of vines
um
how can
I best
describe it
picture that
but sex
picture that
but with legs
curvaceous
and sexy
like a
lovely lady
basically
and I was
gonna say
before we
get into
this
can I
can I
acknowledge
a comment
that was
made in
the chat
yeah
so for
those who
are familiar
with Guilty
Gears
Strive
which is
what that
sound clip
was from
but Timken
is a
grappler
that does
an absolutely
ridiculous
amount of
damage
when he
grabs you
and somebody
in the chat
was like
damn
grabbed it
once and
he died
classic
but Timken
tip moment
yeah
it's like
yeah that
checks out
it surges
forward and
kind of
climbs closer
to you all
and
you will see
that she says
uh
thank you
very much
for helping
me
you talk
yes I
I did not
want to get
captured by
those things
well
Charles has
been worried
about you
I haven't
been able
to answer
his bubbles
oh that
that's
his bubble
Zoran you
can't be this
fucking precious
stop it
it's so cute
it's so cute
we blow bubbles
at each other
through the water
and it carries
our voices
sometimes it's
hard for us
to meet
depending on
the current
of the water
and you see
she will point
uh
to the water
that's surging
down
you're like
she's able to
handle it
just fine
but uh
you guys know
it would
it would be a
struggle going
up it
yeah
it's nice
to meet you
again
it's a pleasure
to meet all
of you
how's Charles
I'm worried
about him
he's worried
about you
but he sent
us to go
check on you
to see if
everything was
okay
yeah
he's healthy
he's safe
good
please tell him
I'll talk to him
soon
actually I'll
yeah you should
you should blow
some bubbles
she looks around
and she looks
to the water
I don't think
it's gonna subside
soon
I'll go with you
back to Charles
oh okay
we'll keep you
safe on the way
there
but yeah
this way
hmm
okay
and you see
she will follow
you
back to the
caves
to reunite
with Charles
if she needs
to stay wet
at all
be able to ask
Locke for help
and just like
you know
he'll
keep her spritzed
yeah he'll cover
one nostril
and fire water
out of the
other nostril
but you don't
use his water
gun
you're just
a freaking
yeah he does
Pokemon at this
point
yeah
yeah
that's what
he does
you all return
uh to the
cave system
sorry for
making this
too fast
um
you guys return
to the cave
system
and bring
Charlene
back to Charles
and you hear
and you see
him kind of
like like
light up
like a
Christmas tree
but he's also
kind of like
but he also
sheeps away
a little bit
because he
thinks she's
mad
they're
VTubers
but you see
that Charlene
will samble
past you all
uh vines
trying to politely
not knock you
guys over
but she quickly
goes into the
water and you
see vines
begin to wrap
around Charles
and you see
little vines
giving him
little kisses
and stuff
oh it's so cute
oh
ah
I thought
you were
angry
you didn't
answer my
bubbles
and you see
they'll exchange
back and forth
like no
no
it's like
something evil
has been you
know taking
over the caverns
and they were
trying and they
were and if I
showed myself
it would have
got captured
or or hurt
or something
and had to
stay away
well you stay
with me baby
I'll make sure
you're okay
you can stay
in my pond
it's a little
tight but
but I'll
move some
of my
goop
over
and you
see the
she'll pat
a vine
on his
head
and be
like
it's okay
we'll share
the goop
together
but first
we gotta
help out
our friends
they want
to know
where the
big dory
is where
I found
some of
those
nice
trachids
for you
and
oh yeah
if you
wouldn't
bide
absolutely
I can
bring you
on real
quick
like
but uh
but are
you sure
you don't
want to
see your
friends
first
I think
they're at
one other
entrance
we can
take the
long way
the river
takes you
a lot
faster
our friends
check on
them
before we
do that
how do
you know
they're
our
friends
no they
got scared
of me
and ran
that's
fair
what if
they're
not
our
friends
what do
your
friends
look like
well we
got separated
from our
real friends
but if
everyone
announced that
is coming
down here
they could
also not
be our
friends
we had
some enemies
up there
well
we'll
describe
what their
friends
looked like
you're so
wise
oh yeah
if your
answer is
crushing
he looks
yeah yeah
there's a
couple small
ones that
look a little
old and
there's like
a little
tall
lanky guy
who's got
like a
big old
hat
you know
all sorts
of guys
wait that
sounds like
our friends
there's a
mouse
yeah
that's our
friends
yeah
we should
check on
them before
we go
yeah
we should
yeah
you're like
I'll try to
lead you
the way
I don't
want to
leave her
too far
so I'll
tell you
where to
go
and then
lead you
to where
the door
goes
that sounds
great
yeah
that's
great
yeah
got some
paper
something
or you're
gonna do
it from
memory
little smart
I'm very
smart
all right
Charles
says you
exactly where
to go
you know
five rights
two lefts
go up
then go down
a couple
beds
five more
right
sideways
gotta go
down the
rocky
avenue
once you
hit the
highway
by the way
on I-44
down on
onto rocky
side avenue
once you go
down there
you gotta go
then get off
the exit
of 429
after 429
you basically
gotta get over
to rockies
who's gonna be
on your right
side
on
on
on hammersmith
drive
once you get
down the
hammersmith
drive
you then gotta
go left
and then
after a
couple more
miles
to north
you've
taken this
route
before
the things
that would
piss me
the fuck
off
when I
worked at
a car
dealership
like oh
we gotta
deliver this
car
you gotta
go down
you gotta
go down
this road
go down
that road
I've never
fucking been
in this
city dude
I don't know
what the
fuck
any of that
means
cap checked
out
just give
me an
address
I'll go
for google
maps from
there
shit
cap fucked
off
cap
couldn't
take it
but he
helps instruct
you all
on where
to go
charles
this is
super
thankful
we can
finally
we finally
get rid
of this
thing
yeah
well you
want to
get rid
of it
well we
appreciate
the gift
you know
it was a
really nice
gesture
but
yeah
it's
well it
teleports
and adheres
to our
bodies
it gives
us shared
hallucinations
and it's
no that's
pretty cool
I think it's
cursed
Charles it
showed me
my children
dying
that's
pretty cool
we started
talking about
cars and
roads and
shit and
cab said in
our group
chat that
fear got a
flat tire
so he had
to go
take care
of it
that's fine
that helps
wrap this
up
and we
curse him
by talking
about
cars
you manifested
his wife
getting
wet
oh my god
for the sake
for the sake
of moving
along real
quick for the
story
you guys
continue on
through the
cave system
following
Charles instructions
to the
letter
and you
find
all of
your friends
waiting for
you
at the end
of the cave
system
yeah
then they
all
these
freaking
a-holes
and
Holic
was like
Holic
comes up
to you
and goes
I was
wondering
when you
guys
would
catch up
what do
you mean
catch up
house mimic
Grie just
says house mimic
holding her
head
that sounds
absolutely
awful
well
I'm glad
you all
were able
to make
it
we didn't
want to
continue
on without
you
well
we're gonna
we wanted
to meet
up with
you guys
but
we four
might
have to
take a
side route
real quick
again
a side route
yeah we're
gonna
we're gonna
finally get
rid of the
thing
you know
the thing
yeah
oh
I see
we might
know where
it came
from
yeah
so we're
gonna
take a
little
other route
real quick
yeah
then we'll
come back
he nods
he goes
well
I believe
if I can
speak for
the rest
of the
group
that
we shall
continue
onwards
but we
won't go
too far
without
you
yeah
find
somewhere
safe
yeah
he nods
wish
us
luck
and with
that you
see
a continuation
of the
caves
and you
know
from
Charles
instructions
that that
is the
way you
need to
go
to the
gates
and we'll
find out
if they
make it
to the
gates
next time
on
Raccoons
what do you
mean if
wait wait
what do you
mean if
Charles gate
Charles gate
that sounds
like a
gamer gate
and all that
other stuff
not Charles gate
I was
thinking
so
I'd like to
reintroduce
our amazing
players who
brought you
Raccoons
today starting
off with
Minerva
hello hello
I am the
Minerva I go
under party
demoness on
all socials
streaming art
all sorts of
stuff love to
see you there
thanks for
having me
no problem
and of course
our caffeinated
cult leader
cabal he had
to go take
away and
help his
wife you
can find
him at
twitch.tv
forward slash
cabal he's
super duper
funny really
smart witted
absolutely amazing
human being that
we all love
please go support
cab over his
twitch channel
please show him
some love because
he definitely would
greatly appreciate
your presence and
your appreciation
and of course we
have our little
guy froggy
luck hi
I'm froggy
luck I'm awake
now unlike when
I did my first
intro I
unfortunately I've
been awake
because well I
had I had
two surgeries
and then my
pc died but
I'm back I'm
back and you
can find my
streams where I
do art and
variety stuff on
twitch but I'm
on all the other
socials and it's
good to be back
and I love you
guys back to
you sword
and back to
salty
so you can go
hello my name
is the salty
job I can be
found at salty
job on twitter
on twitch and
I played hard
he's a big
dude
if you want to
support me you
should support
narrative declaration
directly either
here here on
twitch or on
patreon as that
will directly as
well support me as
one of their
artists and if you
support the patreon
then you can see
yeah kingmaker
kingmaker campaign
which is so funny
oh my god
holy crap the
synergy the
rot goons
characters are
soon going away
on a hiatus by
the way if you
are watching
season three in
the future don't
think about this
but the
rot goons are
going away for a
bit we won't
know how long
but if you want
more of us you
can find us over
at the patreon
we already have a
bunch of
episodes out
it's super good
synergy and it's
us trying to run
a city if you
can imagine the
absolute chaos that
comes from that
10 out of 10
yeah I don't
understand what's
wrong with the
other people's
brains at that
table like we
show up and
everyone's normal
and then we get
in character and
I and then it's
just it's nuts I
can't believe the
things that people
start doing looks
at Zorin directly
the one the one
thing I tell you'll
have to find out
I'm gonna tell for
any improv group is
that you are not the
main character your
best thing for improv
is to make other
people look good but
also for things to
help for comedy is to
make your friends
laugh and we like
making each other
laugh and that is
super important so
like so out of a
lot of groups I've
played through like
kingmaker is one of
the ones that made
me laugh the most
I can't believe how
funny you fucks are
and your response
was so wholesome for
what I was thinking
of when I was like
looks at Zorin for
what I can't believe
the shit that you do
when you hop in
character like what
the fuck I do evil
shit like here you
go go both fight
each other to the
death
dance party
but of course I
have been your
host and game
master for the
evening I am I am
Zorin the Bear
you can go to
zorinthebear.com
to find everything
about me and of
course you can
support narrative
declaration at
patreon.com forward
slash narrative
declaration or just
subscribing to the
YouTube coming over
here on Twitch and
stuff we got a lot of
stuff down the
pipeline on Patreon we
also give updates of
what's going on and
in our discord if the
link works because of
the dumb stupid
freaking hello you
gotta do the uplift
the discords the
fucking link works
and it breaks and
everyone's like why is
the link broken I
don't know discord
system's fucking
stupid and basically
discord discord.gg
for slash narrative
declaration will be
it or look at the
descriptions down
below if the link's
broken I'm just
fucking dumb just
look at it on the
Patreon because I
can get that fixed
looking at updates on
Patreon is for free
everyone can do that
yeah everyone can
look it up for free
it's all public I
just want I like
keeping people in the
loop along with how
our campaigns are going
what's going on what
can't what contents
come down the pipeline
which we get a lot of
so thank you all
all so very much
for joining us
love you all so
very much and we'll
see you all next time
so long and
farewell goodbye
everyone
bye have a great
weekend
bye
oh shit they might not
watch
have a great
bye
you