Ask Ashley

In this episode of Ask Ashley, host Ashley Russo sits down with Sunny Myers, a multifaceted leader and community builder at Fastly, Inc. Sunny shares her incredible journey from a technical engineering background to her current role as Senior Manager for Employee Experience and Belonging.

Throughout the conversation, Sunny articulates the nuances of balancing technical prowess with a people-centric approach in leadership. She discusses not only her professional challenges and triumphs but also her personal experiences as a mother of four, including her journey of parenting children with disabilities. This episode dives deep into the mental and emotional aspects of leadership, the value of community, and the necessity of self-care—all while maintaining authenticity in both personal and professional realms.

  • (00:00) - - Welcome to Ask Ashley Podcast
  • (01:00) - - Introduction of Sunny Myers
  • (02:45) - - Sunny's Background and Community Work
  • (04:30) - - Transition from Engineering to HR
  • (06:15) - - Early Career Challenges and Discoveries
  • (08:50) - - Importance of Diversity in Tech
  • (11:20) - - Balancing Technical and Human Focus
  • (15:00) - - Data-Driven Decision Making
  • (18:30) - - Fastly's Unique Company Culture
  • (21:10) - - Navigating Polarizing Topics at Work
  • (24:40) - - Protecting Company Culture and Values
  • (28:15) - - Personal Challenges in Leadership
  • (32:45) - - Parenting and Work-Life Balance
  • (35:50) - - Supporting Kids with Disabilities
  • (39:00) - - The Role of Community in Parenting
  • (42:30) - - Lessons from Personal and Professional Life
  • (45:15) - - Advice to Younger Self
  • (48:00) - - Closing Thoughts and Gratitude

What is Ask Ashley?

In Ask Ashley, Founder, Thoughtleader and award-winning media personality Ashley Russo sits down with leaders who bring purpose and humanity to business.

Each episode explores how people navigate uncertainty, lead with empathy, and create meaningful change in their organizations and lives. Listeners gain practical insights on resilience, leadership, and financially confident decision-making amid disruption.

This podcast is brought to you by Ask Ashley. If you’re interested in building a confident, purpose-driven wealth plan, reach out to Ashley at ashley.russo@nm.com.

welcome to ask Ashley the podcast

where we shine a light on the unsung heroes

of the workplace I'm your host

Ashley Russo financial AI board member

thought leader and wealth management advisor

each week we sit down with inspiring leaders

exploring their journeys

motivations and the real challenges they face

from job insecurity to the evolving role of AI

in a world where many feel overlooked

these guests

are building hope and connection for their colleagues

join us as we uncover their stories

and discover how they're making a difference

one conversation at a time

hello everybody

I am sitting here with the incredible sunny

I think everyone is gonna enjoy hearing from her

her unique perspective her view on the world and life

sunny would you introduce yourself to everyone

awesome hey Ashley

thank you thank you so much for having me

my name is Sunny Myers my pronouns are she her

I'm a proud member of the Lumbee and Saponi tribes

of North Carolina I

I currently reside in Raleigh Durham area

North Carolina of the original um

unceded territory of the TESCORA in Indian

I am a mama bear of 4 adoptive kiddos

a partner to Isaac um

for my day job

I am a senior manager for employee experience

belong being um

at fastly

and really my heart work is as a community builder

so I'm a founder and lead the strategy for the Auntie

Tech Collective um

which is um a space for indigenous women

two spirit non binary and girls um

in technology specifically

as well as another other community work

I'm just very thankful to be able to do that

and be supported to do that

and I'm a fried bread lover

I love some really really good earrings um

I am actually an engineer by trade

so I'm total a nerd and a data geek

so that comes up often

where people are kind of caught off guard

I have way more street cred in the engineering side

and technical side than I do on the

a dark side of human resources

but it's kind of it sneaks up every now and then

which is the way that my brain thinks

which I do think is a unique superpower now

and I do love a good sneaker collection

I have a number I won't even name of sneakers but yeah

they bring me joy and so between those are my earrings

that's kind of advice so you can just tell

we're gonna have so much fun today

and for those who can't see

obviously the earrings are fabulous

they're pink they're gold

they're long they're actually horse here so wow

fabulous yeah fabulous

well you have a unique path obviously

moving from a highly technical role as an engineer

to people focused so

can you walk us through

what motivated that type of transition

and what are some of the key turning points

that defined that move

your career oh yeah

if you would have asked me you know 15 years ago

would I be on the human resources side

I would say absolutely not

I didn't even know what a path into HR was you know

I have always been a math nerd

I hate actually reading

and so I just like to be in the numbers and to

to kind of have my brain just process things

and to build things

and so just knowing that I was always

had always have been in stem

I also I actually thought I was gonna go to school

or I did go to school for forensic science um

and then through a chemistry minor I was like

I actually hate this um

and so I went to my advisor who um

LED me into engineering

and we were looking at engineering

I looked at the salaries

electrical engineering paid really well and I was like

I'll go do that and so

little did I know

that was one of the hardest engineering degrees to get

which is not the most

especially for the least amount of women in that space

especially women of color

but some crazy thing with these things

you couldn't see

I was able to understand and articulate um

I think through my mouth foundations

and so I graduated with an engineering degree

and then went shortly after straight into industry

I was working for the dot in North Carolina as um

fiber um optics designer engineer

then I moved into building design and the m E P side

and then I went to lighting and kind of a start up in

in a large organization

and then I was tapped to ask to build the first uh

8 inch semiconductor factory or fab in North America

and so

I didn't really remember much about some conductors

except what I Learned in school

which was a while ago from then

and I said yes so I kept saying yes to those things

and when I was doing that work at Wolfspeed

I was also doing a lot of the front end work of um

recruiting for our early talent pipeline

I wanted to look around and see more folks like myself

because I was the only indigenous woman engineer

one of the only women of color engineers

definitely the only woman period on my team

and I just wanted to leave it better than I found it

heavily involved with starting and sustaining

our employee resource groups

which were not a really big

well known thing at the time

um and then just really

trying to change the workforce for

for the better so that like

you know I could have a better experience

but others who came after me

I could as well and using my voice and advocacy

my also having really great sponsors

and executive leadership who believed in me

and so I really started

kind of doing this work on the back end

that didn't really have a

title for this work and somewhere along the line

Amazon saw me doing this work and said

come do this for us full time

and I almost crap my pants

because I was so scared to leave a technical role

in this really cool project

and my manager was just like

you can always come back to this space

I will hire you immediately

and he was the CEO at the time

he was like

but I cannot think of anybody better to go do this work

than you and so he kind of kicked me out to go do it

and I said yes to Amazon from Amazon

I was at Palato Network doing the

the work

so through 2020 and into the later or early 2020s

and then um

left Palantir Network and uh

had a short stint at a non profit

as their chief operating officer

just to kind of um

internally

clean up some things that they needed support with

and then I knew I wanted to go back into tech

I am a wild woman

I guess to say this is where I want to be

um and so I landed it fastly where I am now

wow wow

that's the journey that's OK

so I have to ask this

especially with what you shared there

what are some of the

experiences or challenges that inform what you do now

in leadership and being an advocate

yeah I think it's about we can do really

hard technical things and we can be human focused

and so I think like a lot of leaders were taught

it's like one or the other

or they were gonna sacrifice their humanity

for their technical drive

or their innovation

and I think it's pivotal to be hand in hand

and lockstep and if you sacrifice one for the other

it's just not in balance and I think like

seeing that standard be met

of some of the best leaders that I've seen

and also see where it wasn't being met

and the you know

they thought they were driving high performance

you know and high powered teams

but they were really

just making people walk out the door

and not want to do the work

and so kind of just

looking at leaders who really got it right

and seeing what their leadership values were

um also

knowing a lot of our experiences were systemic issues

and processes and understanding the data

how do we look at this

you can say that somebody feels this way

which is really qualitative

but when you look at the numbers around that

when you look at the statistics around

under representation in these areas

like they're the data doesn't lie

and so

looking at the intersectionality of qualitative data

with quantitative data I said if you can

if you can spot check where that that both align

that's where your core problems are

and so just understanding where to really triple click

down was really helpful

because I wouldn't just show up and say

I feel like we should do this

or I think I'm hearing this

it was really like here's what the data says

here's what the people are saying and the like the

the backup with the comments

right or the input and then here's where I think um

just very solutions minded

and here's where I think we can go and how

what we could do

and also there wasn't a playbook for all of this right

some of this was trial and error

some of it was piloting you know

you don't always

we didn't know if some things were gonna work

and that's okay I mean

some of the greatest organizations

and inventions that we've seen

they didn't think it was gonna work

they didn't know it was gonna work

and so I just think it was just the

the flexibility and the courage to say that out loud

and then also minimizing your risk

like if it doesn't work how long will it take

when will we know what's our key indicators

ultimately

this work is also just good business practices

everything we do is from a business mindset

and embedded like with the business

but also taking

our business acumen and applying it to this work

and I think you know on the flip side

that's where I think some of this kind of got lost

and I think as we look at the systems

and our approaches

we can be more operational and process driven in that

and that's the sustainability of this work in my belief

for the long term hmm

I think this so this leads me to a

a hot button question with all of that

it sounds like obviously you're using um

the data to help drive decisions

that also have emotion tied to them right

but in a moment like this where

you know

inclusion diversity topics

community building it can be polarizing

it can be politicized right

how do you approach that at fastly

how are you dealing with that

yeah um

one of our leaders always has a term where he's like

keep fastly weird and at first I was like

I don't understand it now I completely understand it

fastly is really quirky in the most beautiful way

um fastlians are loud and proud

and fiercely protective of our organization

but really our culture

it's really hard to describe in kind of one sentence

or a couple sentences

they're really protective of our values

but I also believe that they hold people accountable

even at the highest levels of leadership

accountable to those values

and so I think that that's where you um

where you see that the sustainability of the culture

is when you are pressure tested

and right now

we are being pressure tested more than ever

um our organization has had every opportunity to

to be out of this work to

to not be focused on this work

and I think what's beautiful is

it's where we've actually reinvested in this work

where we've elevated this work

where we said no

we're in we're in this space

I also think you know

the pendulum swinging on you know

one side very far

and it's also swing swung on the other side very far

and so I think now that we're seeing this swing

it ultimately the arc of justice right always

always wins I believe

and so um

I think seeing that you know

at some point we come back around

and seeing the companies that stay true to the word

and stay true to their values'cause

it's not just because our CEO believes

or this or our executive leadership team

it's literally who we are as an organization

and embedded into what we do

does this work look vastly different now

absolutely yes

is the work continuing to move forward

absolutely yes

we've just had to you know

adjust what this looks like

and we've embedded embedded

a lot of this into an overarching employee experience

right it does not based on your identity

it's really based on you know

do you feel like you belong when you come to work

do you feel valued

do you feel you can do your best work in the business

do you feel like you can speak up in a room

even when everybody's saying something opposite

it's like the core values of being

a good human and being a human that we all

you know we all want to work beside

and everybody holding each other accountable to that

because I feel like when you can do that

is when you can come up and thrive

and I think that's where we get the best of of you

which then results in high performing teams

which then results in more

you know organizational innovation

um it's really like the secret sauce is that

is that culture

people want to people wanna be at fastly

we have a long tenure and I just didn't get it at first

I was like I don't understand this

this is weird or these chats are fire people wow

they said that and now I totally get that

they feel empowered and seen to say that

and so it's definitely quirky

but it's it's beautifully quirky

and I honestly wouldn't change anything about it

so I have a question based off that that you seem

you seem dedicated to the culture

and the culture seems dedicated to itself

which is beautiful right

that creates a really good environment

how do you handle the challenges of the environment

that have to come to you that you have to be the

you know the forefront too

to then protect this beautiful culture right

it's not just smooth waters

I imagine

you're likely actively protecting this beautiful space

how do you handle that as a human

how does that affect you personally yeah

I feel like when I was entering this work

I didn't understand the mental load

this work

and the emotional load this work would have on me

I think I was extremely naive to that

in fact

coming from a technical space and pressure testing

like how technical you are

how smart how could you pivot

how could you solve really hard problems

but all from a technical lens

and then I happened to have this people centric focus

so I feel like I like had made all that work

but then leaving this technical space

and also using my technical ability in these spaces

like I can create a process like no other

I can ops anything I have seen

I'm like oh

that is this great I'll build it

they're like what

I was like oh yeah

like I can just and they're like wow

I was like yeah

don't mess around with my spreadsheets

like I you know

I I love to be able to build

but the emotional and um

the mental load in this work was completely

it was complete I was not ready for that

and so I remember going to my therapist

thank goodness for therapist

Whoo in the world of AI

uh therapists are more needed now than ever

and I went to her and she said sunny

if I you have to care for yourself

and if I showed up today and I didn't care for myself

if I didn't have high emotional like EQ right

if I was coming to the space drained

you would not be getting what you need out of me right

now so

and so

you have to shift your mindset in order to be the best

right in this role

that also means that you have to center

your own well being in order to do that

and I it was just a pivotal moment of like

I don't want my therapist that like

you know depleted right

I need her at that level

so I can also get what I need to get

and so I think it was a responsibility to this work

means that I have to have a responsibility to myself

and my well being

so grounding looks different for everybody

I had some amazing um

coaches and friends

and just folks who I've Learned from

um it doesn't look the same

like what fills my cup up doesn't fill your cup up

Ashley and so just understanding what that is

I spend a lot of time my free time and community yes

sometimes it's challenging

but it also fills my cup up right

that give back cycle

the 7 generations mindset really keeps me going

I also ground myself

and prepare myself for challenging conversations

um I

a lot you can see probably back there

my smudging I smudge a lot

I have a practice where

if a conversation didn't go well

but I don't need to own how the other person showed up

they just didn't show up well

I wash my hands immediately

like I actually physically get up and go wash my hands

so like I'm reflecting that that's on them

like I might need to give them feedback

but that was not on me um

I think I have high discernment of what's mine to own

and carry forward

and with me and what is mine to leave behind

my responsibility is literally

not to solve all the world's problems

I will die trying and so

just understanding what problems are my responsibility

also how can I still think big and try to solve

maybe things that are outside of my realm

but I cannot exhaust myself

trying to solve the world's problems

I have to kind of focus around what my

what this area is and where my impact can be felt

and so just that discernment

the adjustment um

I often take my shoes off and like

my neighbors probably think I'm crazy

but I just go stand in my front yard and ground myself

I look up to the sun even if it's for five minutes

and I do that prior to a challenging conversation

I use a lot of friends as as coaches to say

here's how I wanna frame this

how do how do you think this would be received

super thoughtful about intentional conversations

I remove what I want to get across and focus it on more

how the other person might receive

when I'm trying to get across

I would love to also say I practice this all the time

and I don't I'm a human

I have emotions I try as I get older and more wiser

um I try to practice it more

um and being really intentional

but I don't always get it right

and I don't always show up well

but I know where that accountability lives now

and what I need to do better

and those like physical mental

and emotional processes and practices

really help me move through this work

and the leader that I am today

is not the same leader I was three years ago

and it was because

I've been really intentional

about the way that I show up

in my day to day work

that doesn't mean that it's not hard

that doesn't mean that

I don't want to tell somebody off

and take my earrings off sometimes

and just give it to him but like

I often think about the outcome

I'm trying to achieve first

before the reaction and so that's really been helpful

I think what's so

there's so many takeaways in what you just said so

so so many takeaways

what's interesting for people to hear

one is you're human

often we would hear something like what you're saying

which sounds so aspirational

I I wanna be like this

I wanna do this

I wanna be this incredible human who can realize to

get the energy off her and not necessarily take it in

but I love what you called out there

which is it's not perfect all the time

so that's okay

we also don't need to put that on ourselves

you're human too so thank you for calling that out

the idea of not taking on

things that we don't need to take on

so we free it

more space within ourselves to accept the good things

too those are all just such beautiful call outs

I have to ask as as a mom myself

so in terms of practicing this with kiddos

in terms of kiddos impacting your practice

informing it even I'm just so curious to ask

asking for a friend what's

what's the the experience there

yeah so I parent extremes right now

so I have two 18 year old seniors about to graduate

and then I have two littles

both of the Littles have disabilities

and so the parenting looks vastly different

parenting our twins they're just such brilliant

amazing humans who are a gift to the world

and also I'm their parent

not their best friend

I have enjoyed going into seasons of life

where we have better connection

like some of my favorite moments are late night

when they come home

where we're just sitting around and laughing

in the kitchen silliness

listening to music that we can't play

when the littles are awake

I I love this like adult parent season we're in

um and I think

I've just used this word multiple times already

but looking at things as seasons

not forever has really helped me

I mean there are days

and even more lately

that I have just felt depleted and defeated

and just straight up just

I'm a crier um

and so I've cried and I really think like

we didn't get here overnight with the twins

and so recognizing that we really were in the trenches

especially parenting adopted kiddos

or you don't have a playbook

and so learning as kind of we go with them

but as we look at the littles

um you know

just recognizing that because of their disabilities

I think number one first of all

getting support though we are very fortunate

fastly to have great benefits

and so I've really leaned in the benefits

and getting answers

getting multiple levels of support from professionals

has been just honestly

I felt like really gaslit for a while

I was gaslighting myself with like what's going on

and so just to have that reassurance of like

this parenting might look different

but it is actually the best parenting

techniques for your kids

I think also when I'm not getting it right

being held accountable

or being guided from the professionals who

you know are experts in this area

and then having somebody just to listen to you

when you're parenting special needs kids

you feel really alone there's a lot of honestly

resentment where I look at other families and I'm like

oh my goodness they can just travel

it's so easy they're not having a breakdown

they don't have to consider going to IEP meetings

and psychological meetings

and psychiatrist and all of these things

it's just so much again

like I love that I work remotely

have a lot of flexibility to go to my kids appointments

I was in a 4 hour IEP meeting yesterday

so just also having a really compassionate leader

a manager who knows that and I can share that

I can block my calendar about it

and knowing that I'm gonna be drained from that

but feeling I also have the capacity and

support to go through those

and then yeah recognizing that

there's a lot of areas

in my life that are just pulling from me

and so that means that I need to find areas of respite

um that means honestly going to the beach

spending time in the sand

in the water that's restoration

girls night out is one of my favorite things

even though I'm like oh

I gotta put on real pants

you know I still

you know it's a whole thing I

I like listen

I love the work from home life

and not having to put on real pants

and so you know

what does that look like I also think like

sometimes it's having girlfriends come over

and just having a porch wine night

and just kind of unloading

sometimes it looks like

it's calling my best friend and having a virtual wine

and just kind of being there for each other

my one favorite restoration technique is the memes

right now they just give me so much life

I have a like multiple friend groups that like

or folks that I'm just really close with

and like we just send memes

we don't even have to say anything

we just send memes back and forth to each other

and I feel like I feel seen

they're so funny my friends are really funny

but like it just helps resonate

that we're all going through a lot

I'm peri menopause

so the peri menopause means are just giving me life

so just knowing that like there is relation there

that there is community and that this is a season that

that just looks vastly different

I'm not going away on this week long girls weekend

you know for a number of reasons

but I am finding respite in the small spaces

that are definitely resetting that soul

so that I can be there my best self for the kids

the other thing I think with parenting for me is

I have not got it right

I look back at my parents and I never have

want to have resentment for them

for things that they didn't

they didn't have the tools

and they weren't equipped for

and so I don't want my kids to get older and resent us

because we didn't literally have the tools

or we weren't equipped for these things

so just giving my own like self Grace of like

as we as there's education about parenting

you know

children with special needs and adoptive parenting

and what that looks like like we're learning

and then repairing the harm when we didn't get it right

I think of just going to our kids

being really transparent saying like

I messed up here like

you know I'm learning

and just asking for their Grace and forgiveness

in that space and leading with that humility

is modeling who I want them to be as

as parents humans

but then as if they become parents

cause I don't ever want to put that pressure on them

um you know

they also can see that

they could ask for Grace and forgiveness

and have um

hopefully they give their own self that space and Grace

too you know what I

I just appreciate myself

and I know that others will appreciate

hearing what you just said

you're a leader you're a highly accomplished individual

and you're vulnerable and you're real

and there are things that bring you joy

there are things that are tough

just being so genuinely real and honest

it's refreshing right

it's not the Instagram filter truly yeah

I definitely don't have that yeah

in fact my kids will be like oh

you're pretty real real yeah

I don't I have never had that

probably to a fault sometimes

because that cannot that's not always

received well in professional settings

but I I do

who I show up in my day to day is

who I show up in my professional life

I I do know how to code switch

I'm a champ at it

but I do try to pull that level of authenticity

that comes through when people know me

and they see me in my community

they see me in my tribal community

they see me with my friends

there might be a little bit more fire and spice

that comes out

but like they're gonna they're gonna know me I mean

I wear the same big earrings

I am pretty loud

and high energy in all the spaces I come in

and so I hope that people don't see the difference

they really know that this is this is who I am

and I'm always wanting to change and and be better

but I'm also really proud of the human I am

and I'm really like settling into my core values

and really modeling

the way that I show up around my core values

and almost now they're I mean

not almost they are now non negotiable

I'm also really good at protecting

what doesn't serve me so

or I guess protecting the space

and getting rid of what doesn't serve me

probably to a fault

but my bandwidth for the BS is out of very big minimum

love it hear it love it embrace it feel it myself

here's my final question

it's my favorite question to ask

and I'm very curious how you'd answer this

with all of your experience

my goodness friend professionally

personally life

all of it if you can say something to your younger self

knowing what you know now what would you say

I think for me personally

is I always thought that bigger circles

were always better

that meant that I was more open that I was more giving

that I was more true and unfortunately

I had just gotten burned by being way more giving

and not because I wasn't receiving

it's because I think I aligned expectations with people

and didn't have a higher bar

for the way that people showed up

when we were in our trenches

for when we needed community

and so

I was very selfless about my time and space and energy

and I think in the back of my mind I had this like

oh well

it's reciprocal this is just what people do

cause it's the way that me and my partner show up

we are just community

humans who are on the ground doing the work

and recognizing that

that's not core values of everybody

and so as I've gotten older

I've recognized that

I've recognized it and tightened my circles

not everybody deserves that same same amount of me

and so you know

and I really again want to protect that

and so um

I think like looking back is

I think I would have been more protective of that

one of the things I love about my daughter is

she is wildly protective of who gets access to her

and at first I was like well

it's and I got so like

you're missing out and what about this

and I realized that I actually really respect that now

and I've Learned from her

and she doesn't have FOMO about like oh

I didn't get invited this thing

or I'm not doing this thing

she's just like no

my like I wanna bring around people who are

my rider dies and who get this

you know access to this space

and through and I've seen her really shine and thrive

and she's had

literally will have lifelong friends from that

and so I think like as I move into this season

actually having smaller circles

knowing who my ride or dies are pouring every

the same amount of energy

but into just them has really been

allowed me to be more sustainable and honestly

a lot more joyful a lot more just happy and and

and genuinely happy um

and it's allowed me to kind of like

when I do need to unload or I'm not showing up well

or I'm in the trenches

I never have to worry who has my back right

they're recognizing that they're coming

they're coming and meeting me there

um and I think that

that's been a really beautiful shift in

the way that I've Learned through my own kiddos

and something that I wish I would have shifted

early on versus having to kind of learn the hard way

well

you are nodding along as I'm agreeing with all this

going to implement some of this

so thank you for that

thank you for being just a transparent

open authentic human being who is leading inside out

I mean truly

it just your energy just is felt

um and I appreciate knowing you

I know those listening will appreciate again

your honesty and transparency

and the fact that it's work right

you're you're constantly doing the work

you're constantly showing up and willing to do the work

and not only are you creating that impact

in your personal communities

but you're creating that impact

in your corporate communities too

and it's just an honor to know you

thank you for sharing your voice

thanks Ashley appreciate you