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Flip the Script with Vic is a sacred space for real conversations with real women 🩷 Hosted by Victoria Nielsen—intuitive healer, mama, and space-holder for the divine feminine—this podcast amplifies women’s voices through raw interviews, intimate solocasts, and unfiltered conversations on motherhood, mysticism, psychedelics, ancestral healing, spirituality, identity, and more.
What began as a personal exploration is now a communal prayer: a gathering place for cycle-breakers, mothers, mystics, creatives, witches, and wild ones redefining what it means to be a woman in today’s world.
Every episode is an invitation to remember that your voice matters. That your truth matters. Together, we walk in beauty, become the prayer, and flip the script.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hi, loves. Welcome to another episode of Flip the script with Vic. It's your host, Victoria Nielsen. I'm super excited to have a conversation with you guys today that feels really vulnerable but feels really necessary. I love processing things in real time with you guys because I think that's important, right? To be more transparent about what people are going through and how it can look differently and how it can feel differently and that we're always moving through something, right, no matter what you're seeing out outside or what you're seeing on social media. And so I feel like that sounds really ominous. It's not. I promise.
Speaker A [00:00:39]:
I went to a mushroom retreat about a month ago, and I have been integrating for the last month, and I feel like now is the perfect time to share some of the revelations and really the biggest message that was coming through for me, because as part of the integration process, I've had some fears come up. I've had some deep, subconscious work come up. And that is the purpose of the medicine, right? To bring those things to the surface for you so that you can look at them, you can bring them to the light, you can move through them. And it's been really surprising me what's. What came up during the. The mushroom journey, but then also what has come up during integration. And I have a really good mentor, Lexi Rodriguez, who shares that the four steps of integration are amplification, exploration, expression, and creation. I think that's really beautiful that, you know, integration isn't just one thing.
Speaker A [00:01:33]:
You have to do all of these things to fully integrate an experience. And so I would say I'm somewhere in between that, like, expression and creation phase on integrating this experience, because I've. First of all, I had never done anything like this. I had never done mushrooms in, like, a medicinal setting. And it was really beautiful and rewrote a lot of codes for me around sisterhood and around just the ability to be myself. And that me expressing myself doesn't bother anyone else. It doesn't take away from anyone else. It just is and actually can really add to an experience when I'm wholly and completely myself and just in my own energy.
Speaker A [00:02:12]:
And, yeah, not even worrying, like, what's happening or whether I'm gonna affect someone else, like, just being in my full sovereignty. And so, you know, the trip itself, I really wanted to get some answers around business stuff, and that was kind of my intention. I was open also just to whatever the experience was meant to be. But the biggest revelation that actually came to me was around my family and my husband, and just how much I love them, how supported I feel by them, how, you know, my husband is my rock and is this pillar of strength in my life. And, you know, because I'm being really vulnerable and honest, and I've talked about this with Will, but as you're on the spiritual path, right, you're changing and you're evolving. You're shifting all the time. And somewhere in the back of your head is this little voice that's saying, well, what if someone doesn't love me now that I've changed? What if someone doesn't like that I have changed? Is that going to shift the dynamic of my relationship? You know, it's a really real question that I know I'm not the only one that's had. And so up until this retreat, I feel like that question was always there, right, of, am I making selfish choices in this personal transformation journey that feels inevitable to me, right.
Speaker A [00:03:31]:
But it affects those around me and do those people like this person that I'm becoming? You know, it shouldn't matter whether they like you or not, but, of course, you're a romantic partner. You do. And so after this experience, I feel like that was rewritten for me, that it is no longer a fear that if I change and evolve and shift, my husband will leave me or he won't love me anymore or any of those lack and scarcity mindset ways of thinking. And that was really beautiful and refreshing to feel that supported and to feel that divine masculine energy in a really beautiful way, because you need both. You need the divine masculine and the divine feminine to be able to be in balance. And so he really is the balance for me in a lot of ways. And that revelation was beautiful. I came home.
Speaker A [00:04:25]:
I expressed that to him, really just feeling so much love in my heart. And it wasn't that I didn't love him before, right? It was just that I always had this little fear, and I was able to create new neural pathways to release that fear and instead feel viscerally, like, this love and appreciation for my family that I don't think I had ever felt in this way right before this moment. So after a retreat like that, you know, we have integration calls, and you come home and you come back to your everyday life. And I feel like this happens in just normal retreats, too. Not medicine retreats, but, like, it can be jarring because you're like, oh, I had all of these amazing revelations. I had all this stuff happen, and then, oh, my life still looks the same. And so it takes a little bit of time right for your life to catch up to the elevation or to the frequency or to the new knowledge that you gained about yourself during this experience. And so that's why integration is also super important, because without integration, you're just going to go back to the way things were.
Speaker A [00:05:27]:
You're going to bump up against the same frustrations. You're not creating new pathways, you're not creating new ways of being in the world. And that's really what I feel like retreats are for helping you heal and create new patterns for yourself. And so over this last month, the one thing that has really surprised me during this integration process is another fear that isn't coming up around my relationship. And I don't know where it came from, but obviously it's there somewhere in the back of my mind. But I'm like, okay, now that I know that, like, I. I could never change, I could never be unlovable, like, cool, I'm not going anywhere in this relationship, then your mind goes to like, oh, but I. But what if he does? Like, oh, okay, I actually am choosing this.
Speaker A [00:06:17]:
I want this, right? And then now it's like, oh, okay, well, I'm only one half of this equation. And so I've had all of these very irrational fears coming up of like, oh, am I, you know, enough for him? Like, is he cheating on me? Is he this? And he's not, by the way, like, full disclaimer, my husband has never done anything to actually make me think that he is or would cheat on me. He has said many times that, like, over his cold, dead body, you would have to remove him from this relationship. So it's not based in anything rational. It is a deep, subconscious fear that I have that is being brought to the surface because I used to be a big cheater in relationships. I was always the one that wanted to run away first, essentially, right? Like, I didn't want the other person to have the opportunity to. And so it was like, okay, well, I'm gonna go have another person. So, like, if this relationship falls through, then I've got this other one that's gonna keep things, you know, fine, or whatever.
Speaker A [00:07:22]:
And so it's just really interesting to see that thought arise in me and then be able to meet it with a neutral mind and say, oh, that's interesting, right? Or, oh, that's really curious that I'm thinking that, like, it's not based in any type of truth. And that's actually one of my favorite questions to ask myself when I have moments like this, when I have thoughts like this is. Is it actually true? And when I stop to think about it, it's usually not. And our minds are so strong, right? And they have been programmed over so many years around specific themes and topics, right? So this idea for me of being cheated on, or someone cheating on me, being abandoned, essentially, is what's at the core of this. And what's even more interesting is that I was told by a psychic, Ainsley McLeod, he's amazing, that I would need to overcome this fear of abandonment in this lifetime. And it was really important. Cause it was gonna keep me back from, like, my dharma. And it was also going to affect my children that, like, they both were gonna have abandonment fears if I didn't work through them myself.
Speaker A [00:08:36]:
And so what a beautiful gift for this to come up, right? And it's also interesting because this week of my recording, I'm in my inner autumn. And so normally for me that means, like, PM's symptoms, I'm really cranky. I want chocolate. Like, I hate life. Like, it's the week of the month that I'm like, fuck everyone and everything. But it feels like now that I'm working with the energy of inner autumn, which is of shedding, which is of release, which is of the wise wild woman. What a beautiful energy to be able to release and look at things with clear, fresh eyes. Right? So that's part of this integration process as well, is giving me a new perspective on things like my inner seasons and my menstrual cycle, where I would normally be fighting the energy, I'm flowing with it.
Speaker A [00:09:29]:
And that's the power of the medicine. Right. And so all of this over this last month has been both triggering but also expanding. And, you know, I feel like that's also indicative of the healing journey and of any work you do with medicine, like mushrooms, you're gonna have the expansion and the contraction, and you're going to need to honor both as part of the cycle, but you're going to move out of it eventually and move into a better place of alignment because you have purged and released. So I know in this moment, right, it can feel a little bit icky that I'm like, I'm having these really weird thoughts that I've never had before that feel really uncomfortable in my body. But instead of ignoring them or instead of reacting to them, I'm sitting and I'm observing them and I'm saying, wow, how interesting. And then I'm giving them space to talk so that I'm able to then process and release them. The amount of processing I've just done in this podcast by talking about all of these connections that I'm making as part of the integration process is huge.
Speaker A [00:10:36]:
That's what it can look like. It can be that easy as talking it out, as writing it out, as basically getting it up and out of the system, because any trauma that gets stored in the body is going to stay there until it gets released. And so that was another, of course, big realization, I feel like, of this work is the somatic essence of it. I've done a lot of somatic work over the years, but having a plant ally in mushrooms really allows the somatic work to go deeper so that you can uncover this kind of stuff, so that you can see these patterns that are coming up to be released in your life, these negative thought patterns that may be so buried deep in your subconscious that you don't even know they're there. Right? So, yeah, that's what I'm going through. That's what I'm processing. And, yeah, I feel like I just had a lot of aha. Moments here on the podcast with you guys.
Speaker A [00:11:34]:
But, you know, I have resources for you if you are interested in all in working with medicine or microdosing or anything like that. I am not the expert. I have friends that are experts that I'm happy to connect you with. I do recommend working with a trained facilitator if you are going to be using any of this medicine, journeying through that integration process. But I would love to hear from you guys on instagram. Iktoriamargonealson. Are these fears that you have? You know, how did this resonate? Like, does it feel good to be seen and heard? Hopefully, if you're going through a similar experience, I sure hope so, because it makes me feel less alone to be able to share this with you and to be so open and honest and vulnerable with what's going on in my life, right, and what's arising for me. And hopefully showing you that it doesn't have to deter you or feel bad, right? Like, these emotions traditionally would feel bad.
Speaker A [00:12:40]:
You don't want to feel this way about a partner or in a relationship, but they're fleeting, right? And they are just showing you what's coming up in the moment to be moved through and what a beautiful gift that is. All right, guys, thanks so much for being here with me. I cannot wait to chat again next week. Same time, same place. Be good to one another. I love.