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Flip the Script with Vic is a sacred space for real conversations with real women 🩷 Hosted by Victoria Nielsen—intuitive healer, mama, and space-holder for the divine feminine—this podcast amplifies women’s voices through raw interviews, intimate solocasts, and unfiltered conversations on motherhood, mysticism, psychedelics, ancestral healing, spirituality, identity, and more.
What began as a personal exploration is now a communal prayer: a gathering place for cycle-breakers, mothers, mystics, creatives, witches, and wild ones redefining what it means to be a woman in today’s world.
Every episode is an invitation to remember that your voice matters. That your truth matters. Together, we walk in beauty, become the prayer, and flip the script.
Hello, loves.Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of Flip the Script with Vik.It's your host, Victoria Nielson.I'm already smiling from ear to ear because today's guest is just a little ball of sunshine.Christina Ballou is an amazing human, mom, massage therapist, energy worker, breath work facilitator, like rebirth extraordinaire.I feel like I could name all the things, but I'm so glad you're here with me today.Thank you for having me.I'm so grateful to be here and to show up and just share my story.I love it.I feel like we had such an instant connection at the, I think it was the women's circle that I first met you at.And then when we danced together on the dance floor at Soul Dance, which y'all, if you've never been to a Soul Dance, it's this beautiful community in Atlanta that comes together for a static dance, no drugs, like no alcohol.We're just feeling ourselves and dancing and vibing.And like every time you inspire me because you are just 100% yourself, like no matter what's happening around you, no matter how everyone else is grooving, like you're grooving to your own vibe and I love it so much.Have you always been like that?Uh, yeah.I've been literally dancing since I came out of the womb.My dad was like, "Yeah, we had music playing and you were already like holding the wall and shaking," which is really funny because River, you know, my second, he also like, Jonah beatboxes and then he twerks on the bathtub.Or if like he hears a beat drop, he's like, he stops what he's doing and he's like, uh, uh, uh.I'm like, "That's my baby."And he looks just like me, I'm like, "You are literally my twin."So he's an ass shaker.He really is.She's so funny.And I had a story like that too.My parents, my dad called me Boogie because he was like, "You danced, you know, before you did anything else."But I think it was the same where it's like you're kind of like propping yourself up and just like shaking your booty, but we know as women, like twerking actually releases so much.Do you dance every single day or did the not dancing help you see where there was ways in motherhood perhaps that like you had lost yourself?I guess has dancing always been your spark, I would say?Yeah, it has been.I grew up dancing, like doing ballet.I didn't vibe with that.different forms of jazz, hip hop, um, but the thing is, is like as I've grown more into my womanhood, I feel like if I don't dance, then I feel lost in the world a little bit.It's my way of expression, where some people are artists or they sing or whatever their art is, mine is definitely dance.I, um, you know, like a funny story is like when I was f- with Isaiah, I couldn't get him to eat eggs and I was like, "No, you gotta eat eggs."So I used to shake and dance while I would cook eggs and that would be the only way he could eat them.And so like, you know, not only has it been a form of just like moving through my own grief and sorrow and anger and any really emotion that I'm feeling, like I've been able to utilize it in motherhood for like really silly little ways.And, um, you know, when I feel a strike of an emotion coming, I literally need to pause.I'm like, "I need space.I need to go lock myself in a room, turn on the candles, get some Palo Santo, get some kind of moody track, and just like drop in."And not in a way that needs to look anything like it's supposed to.Really just like allowing my connective tissue in my body to move because the body knows the way, the fascia knows the way.It literally can unwind with that emotion and, and release, like you were saying, like in the hips when we shake our, when we shake our boot- in the- our booties, in the sacral, like that is our birthing place, that is our creation.Um, a lot of sore trauma is there, so it's just like, you know, my way to kind of unwind.I love that you never lost it though, because I feel like that's what people ask, right, when, when folks have gone through trauma or gone through transformational experiences, it's like the elders, they say, in the Native communities, ask like, "When did you stop dancing?"And, you know, for me, I feel like I did lose dancing for a little bit and motherhood was what helped bring it back because, to your point, I would need a mood shift like that because something was going on in the house and I would just put music on and I would just start shaking it out or moving around.Or, like I thought about the other day, like I'm literally always dancing around the house like a fucking weirdo.And like-literally I was like doing my own jazz routine like in the kitchen the other day and the kids are just sitting there staring at me and I'm like, "I wonder what they think?"But I'm like, they think this is normal and that's wonderful that like music and laughter and movement are just part of our everyday life.And I know you and Jonah are such big proponents of that and that your kids go to forest schools and did you feel like you had to, like have an unlearning as a mom or were you always like an alternative mom?Oh, no.I mean, hmm, that question.So I feel like I've always been unlearning from the time that I started to question things.I think naturally I questioned my, my parents did things when I was younger, but then like when I came into motherhood, it was a very abrupt, like, "Hey, you're pregnant.You're about to have a baby in a couple months."And I was listening to all the noise.There was so much noise around me about how I should mother.I wasn't gonna be able to breastfeed.I was gonna, not gonna be able to have a natural birth.I was gonna be, have to have a C-section because of my hips.And part of me allowed it and then, and my intuition was like, "No.Fuck that shit."I know like what I can do and what I'm capable of.And with Isaiah, um, was a very much learning experience.There was things that I did or allowed and not to say any of it was wrong, but now with River, I got like another opportunity to, to really trust my intuition and my body and know that I'm a sovereign being and I know the way.Yep.And so I really pushed for a natural birth.I pushed for having a midwife at home.I pushedto put Isiah in for school, and yeah, there's, like, people in our family who are teachers or who have been in the medical system for, like, their whole lives.That's all that they know, and so they do question us, like we are some weirdos, you know?Like, Jonah and I are definitely more of the black sheep of our family, um, but I think that when they see us move through it and see that we're only doing this out of love and for the good of our children, it's not anything to harm them, then they understand and they know.So it's, it's been like an unlearning for some time, and I hope that in my mothering journey that I can share with other mothers that, like just because your elders, your mothers, your grandmothers had their way, like really taking a pause and cutting out all that and listening to, like, what does your intuition tell you, you know?Yeah, because it- it might- And kids.be different or probably is different.And even, I think it's important to differentiate too, like between the 2 kids, right?You made a point of saying with Isiah you were learning.The same with Sebastian.I feel like I, I don't wanna say make mistakes, because I really don't believe in mistakes, but I did a lot of things with Sebastian that I did not do with Rocky, because I was like, "Oh, that maybe was more harmful than good."Mm-hmm.Or I was listening to this sleep doctor that said, like, I had to, you know, I had to train them to sleep this certain way when, okay, now he still sleep, he sleeps in our bed.Okay, so what did that do?I suffered for-I don't know, a year of him, like screaming every night, like putting him down and all that to still just have him in my bed anyway, so like what was the fucking point, you know?Like- Right, right.what was the point?But I- I really- You know?like your journey was so beautiful to watch because coming to Your Mother Blessing with River was so inspiring to me, by the way, because I could see the difference in you as a mother and, and the difference in you walking in your truth and being like, "This is what I'm gonna do and I'm honoring it, I'm honoring my heart," and you had so many people show up for you that day in a really beautiful way.And it just showed me, like if you show up as yourself, you ask for what you need, and you declare that this is what you wanna do, like you'll find your people.Yeah, yeah.Your vibe literally attracts your tribe.I know that's cliché, but it's really the truth, and like I can't tell you how many other women have reached out to me saying like, "Wow, you really know how to, like, ask for support and help."And I'm like, "Oh, I didn't ever, like, my whole life."I was very, like, strong, stubborn.I actually still am.Um, but someone, I was, uh, in another group of mothers, like 2 mothers specifically who showed me that, and I was like, "Wow, if they can do it in the way that they did it, um, without having to be like, 'Oh, I'm gonna give you this back,' it's like this is what I need to be a healthy mother to raise my children," um, "It will be received well by the people who want to show up for you."And that's okay if it's not for everyone, you know?If it's like, some women don't know how to show up for other mothers, and that's okay.That's why we, we ask, we communicate, and the ones that can, will, so.Well, and I feel like you talk a lot about the missing village, and I think this is important to share that, you know, 'cause I, you pointed it out, and I was like, "You know, I don't really have any maiden friends that come and, like, hang out and that are, you know, helpful in the village."I have my other mom friends that are drowning, you know?Or ones like, you know, and I live in the same city, and we're like, "We should get together!"And it just never happens-because of life.Right.You know?Like, so I, I would love for you to speak a little bit more about that and, and that feeling, right, of, uh, maybe loneliness in motherhood, right?Because it's, it's so connecting but so isolating at the same time.Yeah, it is.Even, like, when I'm with mothers, like, a lot of the times we're just, like, trying to have a deep conversation, but then it's like the kids are getting into something, and we're like pausing, coming back, pausing, and then you leave, and it's, like, sometimes that felt really, like it filled my cup, and other times it's like, "That was more draining.I should've just stayed at home," right?Yeah.And then with maidens, like I love my maiden friends.I think they're so juicy and spicy, and I love them, but it is different because, 1, I can't really come over there with 2 small children to their home.There's things that they can eat, break, get into- Right, exactly.We're all everywhere.Like there's toys everywhere, likeYeah, and I'm, like, helicoptering.I actually, like, went to a retreat to support another mother so, um, she could be a part of the ceremony, and I brought River.And it was at a really beautiful retreat center and I'm, like, having to watch him the whole time, helicoptering, like, it was the most stressful thing for me.And I was also there offering massages and I was like, "You know what?Nah, I won't do this."But I have had a handful of momsI mean, not moms, I'm sorry.Maidens come and they're like, "Yeah, you just tell me what you need and, like, I can do it."And that's really all they need is, like, someone to kinda, like, hold their hand.It's because they haven't lived in our journey or our experience.Unless they've been a nanny, they don't know, and there are some maidens that I have in my corner that have, you know, 6 or 7 children, you know, that they grew up with, sisters and brothers, and they still don't know, you know?So it's really just like how can wehow can we bring the maidens in?And in a way that's loving and, like, where we're supporting each other because a, a village, the grandmothers, they would also be a part of it.They would be supporting the children or feeding the mother while the maidens are doing whatever with the children or cooking for you.Like, the, the men would be out hunting.And not saying thatWe don't live in a society where that's a thing now, but that is how we survived for, like, thousands of years.Exactly.In community.Well, and the generational, like, knowledge and passing down because to your point, those maidens don't have our experience.They don't know, but they're not going to know unless, you know, they're around it.And like I grew up with 4 generations under one roof and, like, didn't know or think that was cool until now when it's like, oh, I experienced my grandmother.And, you know, I was that kind of older maiden that helped out with, like, cousins or other things 'cause I was an only child.Um, but it's important that knowledge lives within.It's that tribal knowledge of sorts, right?It lives within our bodies, within our fascia, as you said, but like, unless we're expressing it, unless we're using it, we tend to forget.Um, and you know, I feel like as a mother of 2 who's trying to build a business, right, who has probably rebirthed herself many times over, what stage do you currently feel like you're in?I mean, you're still very much in mother, but are you experiencing a bit of wild hopefully or, um, do you get to lean more into your crone these days?You know, since we carry all of them, um, I wonder 'cause it sounds like you kind of moved from maybe a little bit of wounded maiden into mother, and that transition wasn't very easy.Um, how, how has it been?It's been an expansive and contracting journey.I feel like my breath work practice, the most recent thing that I've been on this path has lifted, like, 20 years of depression which really got brought out by motherhood.It was like anything that you shove down because I used to be so wild and free and party, like I just was suppressing so much and motherhood, like, through pregnancy and birth literally birthed all my trauma and all my shit and I got to really sit with it.And it was the most tragic thing I think I've ever felt to really see all the pain and sadness and grief that lived inside my body.Um, and then up until recently, I didn't know that I was still that angry.Um, and as I've been lifting this veil, I've been able to, like, witness blessings that may have already been there, but like now I can see them.Now I'm more conscious to them.Um, I've been meditating, doing hypnotherapy, really just like aligning myself.But that doesn't mean that mothering is any easier per se, because if I can be, like, straight up, the last like 4 or 5 days have been treacherous.Like- Oh, I feel that deeply.Yeah, my kids have been on, like, meltdowns.We've beenEveryone had the stomach bug.Like, I'm trying to get my offering out there, my program, and I'm really focused on that, but I also have to be a present mother.That is one of my values.I, I don't wanna be stuck to a computer or phone.And when I do slip into those, like, little valleys of that 'cause I'm trying to focus my energy on a business, then I can see it reflect in my children.So I'm in a really expansive, beautiful place and I know that all the turbulence and chaos is gonna flower and bloom into something really, really, really beautiful and for other mothers.And also, like, I'm needing love.I'm needing body work.I'm needing someone to hold me.Like the other day I was like, "Jonah, can you just, like, mother me and tickle me for a second 'cause like-" Yes!" I'm cooking, I'm cleaning, I'm business, you know?"And like he, he got to for a few seconds before the kids were, like, climbing on us and ripping our hair and I'm like, "Wow."Because River's 15 months and Isaiah's turning three and they're wild boys.I mean, it makes sense, like me and Jonah, you know, of course.But it's just been like, umI do feel a lot better.Like, on a physical level, I've lost 80 pounds since my second pregnancy and I am here on a podcast today, which is something I've been dream weaving for so long.Um, in my journal, like 7 years ago when I first moved to Atlanta, I wrote that I wanted to be a yoga teacher, I wanted to be a breath work facilitator, massage therapist, retreats, whatever.I wanted to do all these things and I found that journal and it's just like tripping me out because like- I'm like, "So much of that has come true!"Like and some of it like it quantum leaped into a shorter time, and yes, it took me 7 years to get here, but motherhood was like the catalyst for that.It was like my like push comes to shove, like hey, this is the work that you're meant to be doing.It's actually the work that you've always meant to be doing, it's just a different way now.And I feel like I have more purpose because I went through my suffering as a mother thatI want to help mothers who experience the same thing that I've gone through.Yeah, 'cause it's h- it's so hard.Like, I, I don't care who you are.You're not- you're never prepared.Truly, you're never prepared.And every child is different, and you may think you have a grasp on it, and then they developmentally change, or the environment changes, or things with your partner change, you know?Like, I think that playfulness that you and Jonah keep up is so important.And you guys both still, like, go dance and do, like, your events, um, you know, even though you're parents.And that part is something that is so important, so that you can fill your own cup.You know, IWhat has been, you know, the, the grief and the rage of motherhood I think is not talked about enough.And, and talked about how normal it actually is, because I feel a lot of rage too as a mom.What, you know, in this new breathwork journey that you've been moving through, whatDo you have, like, a favorite breathwork practice that you do when you're, like, super angry or when you need to, to move through emotions?Actually, I was just gonna post a video about this because I've been so- Yes.Oh my god, good.so, so angry the last couple days, umSo, 1, it's important to ground before you do any kind of energetic movement, but this one is a sequence that's called Breath of Anger, actually.And you literallyI'm gonna sit back a little bit.So it's like this.You breathe out your nose, like and you're, like, clearing your auric field, so grounding down for a moment, taking, like, either a 4second breath in, holding at the top, and exhaling out.2 more times, breathing in, really circulating the energy up into the crown, holding it here, and the next one breathing in, holding it at the top, and on the exhale just making any kinda sound.Ugh.Ugh.love to stick out my tongue when I do that.I don't know.The same.I was like, "Ahhh."People watching the video are probably like, "What the fuck?"So, the movement is, like, you know, having your armI mean, really, your arms can be in whatever position feels good or safe, but it's just exhaling likeYep, exhaling and throwing that arm back as hard as you can.Throwing it is best.Yeah.And also be gentle with yourself, because if you have weak muscles in your back-as a massage therapist, I need to tell you, like, you can pull a muscle, so be gentle with yourself.But I know my strength.But yeah, you're just clearing your field, and really breathing out your nose like aMm-hmm, yep, very forceful.And just moving that shit out.And, and literally you could just set a timer for 2 minutes and just and you can feel1, it's, like, almost a psychedelic experience because of the way that your oxygen levels are changing, but you're imagining, just, like, with your arms, like, just clearing all the bullshit out of your field, and then having a meditation to come back to where you protect yourself, having, like, a golden armor around you.So even if it's your kids, lovingly, like, you're not sucking up and siphoning their energy too, which is, like, really important, because mothers, we're such givers and nurturers, and then we end up soaking up whatever they're going through, then maybe our partner, then our clients and then everyone in the world because we're more open and our hearts are more open.Yep.So yeah, that's, like, one that I just- I love it.It's so funny.That was my go-to.Uh, fist of anger is what I called it.Um- Fist of anger, yeah.in Kundalini yoga.Yeah, yeah, yeah.But no, it's 3 minutes a day is really all you need.And like I've, I've used it quite a lot.Um, but as you were talking, it made me think about, you know, those energetic attachments.Our kids, I believe it's until the age of 7, their chakras are not fully formed and they're, like, still very much energetically attached to us, and that actually we need to consciously unattach them around that age so that they can grow and flourish and develop.Um, but one thing I love doing lately when the kids are driving me crazy or when we're out and I can see that, like, other kids' energy is, like, affecting them, I zip them up in, like, their own energy.Like, I'm like, "Nope."Whoa.Like, "You're gonna stay right here."And I'll do it sometimes too when, like, they're acting crazy.Um, but some of the energetic stuff that I learned when they were little that I still use to this day is, like, even I play sometimes with their grounding cords.So, like, a- when it- when it's bedtime, like, I will envision their grounding cord move, like, from the base of the spine going to the center of the earth to help them, like, release and ground, and then I do my own.Um, so that energetic not only clearing of, like, your auric field is super important as a mom because, yes, you are cluttered with everyone else's gunk.That protection piece is so important too because shit's wild out there, guys.Like, you're- It's wild.like, peopleI mean, I don't- I don't wanna get into, like, a whole side note about, like, I don't know, energetic and spiritual attacks, but, like, they're a real thing, and especially when, like, you're as open as you are as a mom, like-You gotta protect yourself, you know?Yeah, I mean, that's just something that I- IAs a mother and someone who holds space in massage therapy and breath work, people have a lot of things attached to them, and then you don't wanna be bringing that home.Like you said, your kids are attached to you and- and giving that to your children as well.So, like, I mean, it doesn't even have to be a Palo Santo or sage, just, like, literally just envisioning a golden armor around you and just, like, kinda staying steady with that, which can feel a little bit challenging.But yeah, I do feel like that's really important, um, in all that we do.Right.But I wanted to talk a little bit more about kind of your embodiment journey because as you said, I mean, you lost 70 pounds.Like, that's crazy.You look amazing.You always, I feel like, have been the most freest expressed version of yourself at least as long as I have known you, and you've only become more free and more expressed as motherhood, I feel like, has, umI don't wanna say made you more feral because I think you were always this feral-and it's just, like, shown, you know, you that.What- what has that journey been like?What- what has that really felt like to be in your body now that it's smaller?Like, has there been any body dysmorphia?Has there been any, you know, of that kinda stuff coming up, honestly and truthfully?Yeah, so it's funny that you think, like, when you lose the weight that you'll be, like, satisfied and satiated and that, and still it's, like, aThere's more roots there of what you're feeling and what you're going through.Like, I stillLike, my skin is really loose now around my womb, and- Mine is too.you know?Yeah, and on my neck and all these places, and I ha- I stillI really, really struggle with that, um, a lot because it's just, like, I'm chasing a physical goal and not really, like, jumping back into, like, how do I move?How do I feel?I will say I do feel lighter.I've always felt, like, pretty strong.And the most important part of that is, like, how can I carry my children?I have 2 boys.I need to be able to, like, move and be agile as they grow.They're only gonna get faster and more agile, more wild and feral themselves, so I wanna be able to keep up with them.But it has been really beautiful because a lot of people are like, "Oh, what are you doing?What are you doing?"I'm like, "Yo, honestly, I'm just, like, taking care of my nervous system, taking minerals."I make it really affordable, lemon and some, like, Redmond's or, uh, Celtic sea salt.And I did start night weaning, um, about 3 or 4 weeks ago, I think it was.Jonah sleeps with, uh, River, and now I sleep with Isaiah.And just getting, like, 7 hours of sleepis a game- Isn't it amazing what it'll do?changer.I'm likeI mean, because with River, I have co-slept and exclusively breastfed, and he stays attached at the boob all night long.Like, in, uh, the last couple nights he's been sick, he's been sleeping with me.My nipples are so sore because he just doesn't get off.He switches, like, every 5 minutes.And then you saw, I was so big in my pregnancy with him, I had a lot of amniotic fluid, that I didn't sleep then.So, it was, like, a year and a half of, like, maybe one or 2 hours of, uh, disturbed sleep.Oh.And that my hair is still not replenished from that.I'm so minerally depleted, and I'm working on that.But, like, alone, I stopped working out, and I started sleeping 'cause I started working out and doing things, and that was a really pivotablePivotPivotable.Can't say that word right now.Pivotall.And it's okay with- You got it.Pivotall.We're gonna move on from that.But it's just been really huge that rest is so important in motherhood, asking for that.I had to be like, "Hey, I'm not okay from not sleeping.I need you to take over."And it was a really hard feat to come into that because I wanted to be this, like, exclusively breastfeeding, co-sleeping mother, but, like, literally it was destabilizing me.Yep.Um, and so, um, that's been really, really, like, the major shift.I dropped, like, 40 pounds doing just that.And- and people are like, "Oh, wow, you've got this glow and all these things."And I'm like, "Thank you."But- I'm sleeping, motherfucker.That's why.Yes, yeah.Like, I got sleep.And to be, like, completely transparent, my whole life kinda prepared me for no sleep.I partied s- till, like, 3:00 in the morning and would go work a job at 7:00 AM, but it is not the same kind of sleep deprivation as motherhood.Also, as we get older- It doesn't ma-I feel like our bodies just, like, don't let us.But no, I will say it's wild.Like, I used to be such a sound sleeper, and now the kids do anything, and I hear it, and I wake up.And we basicallyLike, the 4 of us don't co-sleep.Rocky's room is separate, but it's close enough that we're all basically in the same room.And so literally the other night, I woke up from a dead-ass sleep because I heard Rocky go, "Oh, no," in his sleep.in his sleep.And I mean, I thought he was gonna- Oh.pee the bed, so I got up really quick and I, like, ran into the bathroom and I don't even know if he had to pee.I have no idea.All I heard was, "Oh, no."And I was like, "Uh-uh.Fuck no.Like, you're not peeing the bed."But, like, howAs a mother, like, that's a superhero power, I feel like, but it also is to- Yeah.our detriment because then we get no sleep at all.Yeah, I mean, we're wired to be alert for our children and it's, like, the most beautiful thing and like you said, detrimental because, like, yeah, what the fuck?Everybody needs sleep.You know, like, we all- And why can't dad have that same thing?don't need it.Like, even at the hospital, I remember after my C-section, 'cause I had to have C-sections, they were both breech, Will was passed out, like, and I- Of course.couldn't even get him, like, out of the bassinet to breastAnd this was like bothI learned with Sebastian.With Sebastian, Will really, like, didn't wake up and it pissed me off.So with Rocky, I was like, "All right, I'm setting an alarm.I'm having something that I'm gonna throw at you.Like, I don't even care."So sure enough, the alarm went off.He didn't even move.Didn't even move.So then I gotIt was just a toilet paper roll, but I w- I, like, had ammo ready.I was like pelting him to, like, wake him up-because I was like, "I can't even move the baby.Like, you have to help me."So- Yeah.I mean, we get smarter, I guess, as we parent, but man, it'sParenthood.The fact that we signed up for this is crazy, but hey- Right, right.Yeah.No, it's, it's an initiation for sure.And a rite of passage.Truly.You know?Truly.If you had anything you wanted to share with, uh, with new moms everywhere today before we wrap things up and share how they can get to know you and find you, what would be your, kind of, one message for moms today?Hmm.Give yourself grace.Be adaptable and open to all the many changes that will come.Ask for support and nourish yourself.Nourish yourself first if you can, because you can.Yes.And ladies, if you're in the Atlanta area, Christina will nourish you.You gotta tell 'em how.How can they get a hold of you?So, you can follow me on Instagram.I just manically changed my name to The Mo- The Mother's Breath.It was LaLaChina, but now you can find me.I have, um, a link there where you can book a one-to-one breathwork session.If you're local to Atlanta, you can come and do an in-person body work session.I hold 90 minute or 2 hours.We do a combination of meditation, breathwork, and body work.And I will soon be launching my program for mothers.We're gonna dive deep into somatic, sensuality, connection, communication, and breathwork to become our most easeful and joyful selves so that we can enjoy motherhood the way that we're supposed to.I love that.And ladies, that was actually a question I didn't ask you about that, uh, we could talk about real quick before we go, would be sensuality, because I feel like you are a naturally sensual person, but did you feel like that ebbed and flowed through pregnancy?And was that hard to come back to as, you know, you've been in the throes of motherhood?Yeah, it definitely is hard to come back to, especially when you're breastfeeding because your hormones are shifted all the time.Like, it really took me honest to- Breastfeeding made me crazy.I wouldI used to- Yeah.think I couldn't.Now it's crazy.It's like they're sucking everything out of you, literally, and then your hormones are shifting depending on how you breastfeed, but I mean, I will say, I used to be really shameful of my sensuality, like, and the way that I used it when I was younger is different than how I use it now.More now, I'm tapping into all my senses through food, through sound, through breath, through movement.It can be even just, like, slowly caressing my body when I'm, like, in a conversation with someone and I feel like, "Okay, I wanna just, like, know that I'm safe in this."Mm-hmm.And, um, really just inviting time for myself to be like, "Hey, Mommy needs a break and I'm gonna go."And that can be a warm bath, that can be listening to some sounds, and just kind of, like, tickling myself.But when I really came back into it is when I started hanging out with maidens again, because maidens are all in their f- their juicy prime and I am so blessed to be with some of the juiciest women in my life.I love them so much.um, and they really bring it back into sensuality being sacred and it being a holy container and it not being something to be afraid and shamed of.And once I started, like, seeing myself in these other women, I started to, like, my essence started coming back and, and I used the word turn-on a lot, like, "Oh, that turns me on.I'm lit up about that."And, and it kind of all ties in together.And I feel so much more free since I've been back and, like, in my sensuality, listening to my human design, learning more about my gene keys.That shit is so f- it's powerful.If you don't know about it, check it out and- It's a rabbit hole, but it's so good.It's a rabbit hole, but it's so good.And just like, that- that's- your sensuality is what makes you a woman.That's why men work their whole lives to be like, you know, working for you, and it is our power, it is our creativity, and it is what brings babies into this world.And you should- you should give that to yourself.You should gift yourself practices that bring you back to that.Exactly.Because it's not shameful.And actually, when we can bring ourselves into that bliss-filled state, we manifest faster.We move things faster.Like, that energy is such a pure cosmic energy that w- when you work with it, you're working by your design, exactly that.We were made to take advantage of our feminine wiles and to use them.And I love that you shared that, like, previously you used to use them differently, because I would say the same.As a maiden, I feel like I weaponized my sexuality, absolutely.Whereas now, as a mother, um, and as a wild woman, you know, my sensuality is mine and it's not performative and it's not for anyone else.And actually, when I am my juiciest, it's for me, um, and then that oozes right into my expression and my creativity elsewhere.But I think it's really important that we talk about it because we don't as women, and we just expect either to like, I don't know, go back to magically feeling sexy, or maybe we never felt sexy to begin with, so like, coming back to that isn't even something that we know how to do, you know?Yeah, yeah, yeah.There's like several women who like, I mean, and even m- myself, I catch myself, like, wearing my sweats and my tights and my hair up and I'm just like in it and I'm like, "Ugh."And like, the power of a shower and putting some mascara on-and a cute ass outfit and going out there with confidence is like a fucking game changer.It's like, you know, um, motherhood doesn't have to be one way.It doesn't have to be what anyone else told you.You can be exactly how I want.You can be a hot ass sexy mom and business owner and creatrix and, you know, still be at home cooking for your husband.It can be all the things that you want it to be, you know?So, I think that like if you feel like you struggle with that, like hang out with someone who embodies it and just like soak in- in that energy and let that be the medicine that you get to sip on, and then invite it back into your essence.And that's what I say now.I'm like, "Just sip on the medicine of like your people.Like, share your medicine and sip on it."I love that.And know too that if you feel some type of way in a negative, right?Like maybe you're jealous or maybe you're projecting your shame onto that other woman, like use that as information as well, right?That actually I found that, um, at the beginning of my spiritual journey, Sahara Rose, I was like following her and I loved all of her Instagram stuff, and then all of a sudden she started like twerking all the time.And like at first I was very like, "Ugh," like who is she to do that?It was because I wanted to do it and I didn't free- Mm-hmm.you know, didn't feel free enough to.So I invite anyone listening, like if that's what you're feeling in your body right now is like, "Oh, who are they to do this?"Or any kind of judgment, that's okay.We welcome it.Use it as information to show you where you are not yet free and where you are craving that freedom in your life and in your body.Yeah.Absolutely.Absolutely.And just one thing to piggyback off that.Several of the maiden friends that I talk about, they were, it was triggering me.It was triggering me in a lot of ways and then that- and that was it.It was like, "Oh, this is what I crave, this is what I want, and that's why I'm getting so pissed off about it and like, you know, wanting to shelter and like not hang out with them."And then I just like immersed myself in their- in their presence and they also supported me and witnessed me and hyped me up and like, "Let's go, Gina," you know?And then I was able to break free from those chains, and those chains c- go deep.They go deep into my mothers and my grandmothers.And so it's not your fault, and it's okay, and I love you.And yes, use it as medicine, use it as knowledge, use it as information and play around with it.Let it be playful, let it be easy.Give yourself grace along the way.Yes.Oh, I've loved this conversation so much.You guys can find more about Christina and how you can work with her and follow her on Instagram in the show notes.Thank you guys for being here, for listening.I cannot wait.We have so many ladies that are gonna close out the rest of 2025 with amazing conversations.If you've been enjoying them, please like, rate, subscribe, review, share the podcast so that even more women can hear these inspiring conversations and maybe spark a movement.Thanks so much for being here, Christina.I love you guys.Be good to one another.Mwah.