Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/259
đź““ Show Notes: https://share.transistor.fm/s/56709fe8

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 259, a killer uses a pick near a hermit woman and Markedon and Psarahdactyl. Look out for the udder!

Show Notes
Dinosaur House Museum
https://www.dinosaurhouse.co.nz/

The Great Pottery Throw Down
 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6417190/


Mark's Mystery Novels: I'm launching two cozy mystery series this spring! Subscribe to my author newsletter at https://markbellauthor.substack.com/ to get free preview chapters in February before anyone else. Mystery Maniacs listeners get first access.

Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Tentative  Schedule
  • February 16 - Brokenwood S10E02 - "Day Of The Dead"
  • February 23 - Brokenwood S10E03 - “Publish or Be Damned”
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Creators and Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

Which it should because you know it's foam.

Mark:

Yeah. It's like foam rubber or something.

Sarah:

Yeah. No. It's really good. Hey, maniacs.

Mark:

Hey, mystery maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of a show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love.

Sarah:

This week, season ten episode one, Brokenwoodosaurus. Yes. We are back to Brokenwood, people. Yes. We've done our giant four episodes of Midsommar, and that's a whole season, and that's done now.

Mark:

And we loved it, but it was over too soon, way too soon.

Sarah:

I don't know how they think four episodes is a season. It I'm sorry. I I my vent's done. I'm done.

Mark:

Would say that, but I would say, well, they're making really four movies because they're ninety minutes. Right? So they're they're making four movies. But the Broken Wood people make six.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Just Step it up. That's all I'm saying.

Mark:

Just saying.

Sarah:

You'd think after twenty five seasons they'd have it down. Just saying. Just venting a little bit. Yep. Before we get to Brokenwood and Brokenwoodosaurus.

Mark:

We have tons to talk about. First of all, the subreddits are going crazy. Yep. The mystery, the midsummer subreddit is over 10,000 people now. And we regularly get spam t shirt ads daily.

Sarah:

That's how you know you've really arrived when the bots show up.

Mark:

Yep. I'm like, you have not posted anything on your account and your entire message is, boy, I really like this new t shirt I bought.

Sarah:

Meanwhile, the mystery maniac subreddit has hit 400.

Mark:

Which remember when we started that, I was hoping that it might hit 25 people. Mhmm. Maybe. Like, maybe hit 50 people. Yeah.

Mark:

And now we're over 400 on this.

Sarah:

It's awesome.

Mark:

And I pulled off the greatest mailing list migration of all time.

Sarah:

Without a hitch, without an issue

Mark:

Without a problems. No new mailing list went out. Everybody opened it up just the same way and now you can comment on it. Hey. Lots of comments about Olive.

Sarah:

She's something else.

Mark:

I I put did you did you see the picture I put at the bottom?

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

So Olive is looking out the window, and she's forlorn. She has ennui. And she wrote a little letter to the snow that says, dear snow, I hate you. Love, Olive.

Sarah:

I love when she sits in that little bed. Yes. That's the bed we bought her when she was, like, six months old. Yes. And now her butt barely fits in it, and she puts it on the heating vent and sits in it and looks outside forlornly.

Mark:

Forlorn. She really does not like the snow. She she kinda disappeared into it at one point.

Sarah:

Yeah. And came back kinda mad. Yeah. Last note before we dive in. Last week, I did a little intro bit at the beginning of the episode.

Sarah:

I

Mark:

It's two weeks ago.

Sarah:

I got believe it's

Mark:

been two weeks ago.

Sarah:

I'll be honest. I was a little nervous about it. I we're not political or anything like that. I didn't want people to take it that way, but I just felt like it was important. And we got a lot of positive messages back.

Sarah:

So thanks for letting us know that you appreciated it, and I'm glad that I took the chance and did it.

Mark:

And then we got 15 inches of

Sarah:

snow. We did. So it's kinda nice to watch something set in New Zealand where it's just sunny and bright and pretty. Yes. There's green there.

Sarah:

There's not green here. I don't think there'll ever be green again.

Mark:

There's no green again. Never. Well, maybe Tuesday one. It's 60 degrees because Indiana.

Sarah:

Maybe when the snow thaws we will uncover a dinosaur.

Mark:

This is a spoiler podcast. We will be telling you who did it right away. It was the crazy lady. And if you let your kids go to America to get theology degree To

Sarah:

get indoctrinated into creationism?

Mark:

So the strangest thing about this episode and I double checked, we had not started covering Broken Wood when we this episode was written and launched.

Sarah:

So we didn't have minis about it.

Mark:

So this is not a reference to us, but it feels a lot like a reference Twice

Sarah:

in the episode, Bloomington, Indiana is mentioned, which is where we are sitting right now.

Mark:

Out of nowhere. Yeah. And

Sarah:

our university isn't known for theology. No. It's not like if you picked a random, you know, big theology school in The States that you would pick Bloomington,

Mark:

you We're about two hours from Frankfurt, which is where the American is from in this episode.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And that kind of fits right, sorta. Yeah. But the religious studies department here is not a theology school.

Sarah:

Though, if you go out on our major highway and head south about twenty minutes, you will start to see billboards for a quote museum Yes. That's in Kentucky south of us. Which is near Frankfurt. That well, Frankfurt is in Kentucky. Yes.

Sarah:

Yes. It's near there. That features dinosaurs and humans in dioramas together.

Mark:

And and the Noah's Ark.

Sarah:

Yeah. A full size one or semi size. It has five. I don't know how big it was. It's a big one.

Mark:

If you believe in that stuff, you're allowed to believe in whatever you want.

Sarah:

Of course. But science You're wrong. I'm sorry. Science. Just say science.

Sarah:

Science. That's it. Science. But I love that they say, well, she went to America, so obviously now she's a kook because that's what happens here. I can't

Mark:

really afford you. No. That's what happens in Bloomington, Indiana. No. She's only here for a Bloomington, Indiana.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

No. No. She was only here for a semester

Mark:

when she

Sarah:

left because we weren't kook enough.

Mark:

We're not.

Sarah:

She had to go to Kentucky to get kooked. I guess. Sorry Kentucky, but you know how you are.

Mark:

Anyway, dinosaurs and Brokenwood.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

So, before we get into this, the whole idea of this episode, the whole backstory of this episode, is a lady finds a dinosaur bone and the town goes dino crazy.

Sarah:

A bone. She finds part of something. We're gonna get there.

Mark:

And there'll be a quiz.

Sarah:

You haven't even said when this aired and who wrote directed it. And you made such an effort to make sure that you had that in your notes. It is It's a little behind the scenes view there.

Mark:

Directed by Mike Smith and written by Mike Smith and Tim Baum and starring everybody else in every episode.

Sarah:

Yeah. Plus three people.

Mark:

The 04/29/2024. So two years ago basically. So the question I have Sarah is, now I came from nearby a small town.

Sarah:

And

Mark:

the small I kind of lived in the triangle of small towns. And two of those small towns had had these things which were things the small town was famous for.

Sarah:

Like the world's biggest ball of yarn?

Mark:

Yes. Did you now, do you you came from Indianapolis. Mhmm. But you were in Beech Grove, right? Mhmm.

Mark:

Is there anything special about Beech Grove other than Steve McQueen came from Beech Grove?

Sarah:

Not really.

Mark:

Okay. Because the town I went to high school in is the town in which Roy Brown was born. Now Roy Brown in the first world war was shot down by the Red Baron and in his frustration used artillery to shoot down the Red Baron.

Sarah:

He's Snoopy.

Mark:

He's Snoopy.

Sarah:

Real Snoopy. Yeah. There's a there's a mural on side of the building.

Mark:

There's a mural of the of the Red Baron. Yeah.

Sarah:

It's kind of backwards.

Mark:

There isn't like a Red Baron festival or a Red Baron parade.

Sarah:

Well that's good. I'm glad they don't celebrate the bad guy.

Mark:

But it is what that town is known for. And then Perth, the other town I worked in when I was a young man, the last fatal duel in Canada took place there.

Sarah:

That's something.

Mark:

And they have a last duel park.

Sarah:

But they didn't accidentally uncover the saber that was used in the last duel. No. Was it a pistol duel or sore?

Mark:

It was a pistol duel.

Sarah:

Yeah. This oh, I'm just I'm gonna set aside my disbelief about the paleontological facts in this episode.

Mark:

Well, they do a good job in this episode of of skirting real paleontology in New Zealand in the sense that there is paleontology in New Zealand. It is a lot of it is done by amateurs and there is one woman in particular who was an amateur who found a lot of these bones early on.

Sarah:

Mhmm. That happened in England too, didn't it? There was a woman who found basically proved stratification

Mark:

Yes. And she

Sarah:

And fossils.

Mark:

She did it in

Sarah:

They made a movie about her.

Mark:

Yes, in the whole She Shells, She Shells by the Short about But this lady was like, they call her the New Zealand's Dragon Lady of Paleontology.

Sarah:

Because she found dinosaurs. So Well, I will tell you that there's some uneducated person on IMDb who thinks that they are smarter than they are and put a goof on this episode on IMDb.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

They say, actually, there aren't dinosaurs on because New Zealand rose out of the ocean after dinosaurs went extinct. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Sarah:

Wrong. Yes.

Mark:

So dinosaurs as a singular entity is an incredibly broad and vague term. Right? Like, if I saw a lot of those prehistoric mammals that lived in the ocean, I would go dinosaur.

Sarah:

But you don't even have to to to be technical like that. Yeah. There were huge reptiles

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

On the land that is now New Zealand. Yes. Absolutely. It didn't rise up out of the ocean. That's It broke off.

Mark:

Yeah. It's not how it works.

Sarah:

Over a period of thirty five million years, it separated from what is now Australia, which was also part of a larger land mass.

Mark:

Don't tell the Australians that. They'll be upset about it.

Sarah:

And it didn't it didn't happen overnight. And what do you know? The dinosaurs didn't, like, fall off or go, uh-oh. We're moving away from that bigger landmass. We better stay over there.

Sarah:

It happened over thirty five million years, and what do you know? Some of them were on the land I was like it moved away.

Mark:

And I was like, when you first read the comment to me, I'm like, well, not now.

Sarah:

Not now. There's no dinosaurs there now. But this is In why

Mark:

the background of Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Giant dinosaurs.

Sarah:

They would they would kick orc butt. I'm sorry. They would absolutely kick orc But that's why there are no native mammals to New Zealand, but there are tons of birds

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Because it was too far away for mammals to swim once they evolved and sort of took

Mark:

Every single mammal that is in New Zealand was brought there by a person.

Sarah:

Yeah. Who's thought this will be smart.

Mark:

Sheep.

Sarah:

And now they're like, woah woah woah woah woah. What do you have in your bag? Yes. I don't think so. Seeds.

Sarah:

Get those out of here.

Mark:

Smart. The real small town capital, dinosaur capital of New Zealand is called Rathili, R A E T I H I.

Sarah:

I'm sure we're saying

Mark:

that wrong. Rathili.

Sarah:

It's probably Rathili or something.

Mark:

Yes. They have a dinosaur house museum that looks like a real museum, not, boy, let's go down to Jim Bob's screen printing and get us some dinosaur stuff. No. There's an actual museum there.

Sarah:

You mean

Mark:

they

Sarah:

didn't add a saurus to every business name in town? No. So Maggie, the amateur paleontologist of Brokenwood, who I guess has been there for a while.

Mark:

The the two problems I have of this episode are, why wasn't Maggie mentioned before? And second of all, where is this secret dig site? Why don't we go check the quarry?

Sarah:

It's not really a full on quarry. It's a creek.

Mark:

But they call it a quarry. Like, if I was looking for a secret

Sarah:

dinosaur rock next to a creek.

Mark:

If I was looking for a secret dinosaur hiding spot,

Sarah:

I'd just follow Maggie.

Mark:

I just follow Or go to the Lyris Quarry.

Sarah:

Or ask Ron or ask Doug or ask Frida, the second woman hermit of Brokenwood. I wonder if she deals in possum fat.

Mark:

So Ron and Doug are in love with Maggie.

Sarah:

That's the only reason I think maybe she's not from around there. Yeah. I think Like, maybe she's new.

Mark:

She's

Sarah:

But her house seems awfully furnished and

Mark:

settled Seems to be.

Sarah:

Maybe they're only crazy about her because she found a fossil. They're like, oh, that made her sexy all of a sudden.

Mark:

You catch the look that that Trudy gives Doug when he shows up with flowers? Or

Sarah:

well, first Ray is like, she's excited. Trust me. I know she doesn't look it because it's Trudy. She never looks excited. Yes.

Sarah:

And then you realize her ex husband is standing next to her giving flowers to another woman.

Mark:

And she

Sarah:

No wonder she's scowling.

Mark:

Like he has ripped the worst smelling fart You fool. Ever. Her nose is so high up in her face. Is a fine bit of physical acting.

Sarah:

Yeah. And and fully deserved. Yes. Doug and Ron make idiots of themselves.

Mark:

They do indeed.

Sarah:

But they might have the best fogey fight on TV. Better than baguette wielding wheelchair warriors.

Mark:

Oh, I don't know. That's a pretty good fogey fight.

Sarah:

I don't know. These two are rolling around on the ground.

Mark:

Well, we also have everybody else in town including the wedding lady, Mrs. Parker, Ray and Trudy, and Frodolicious and Todd Cerritops.

Sarah:

Frodo raptorlicious. You have to put the raptor in there. The you have to put you put you have to put the raptor in there, Markedon. Don't look at Pterodactyl like you're looking at her.

Mark:

It's Pterodactyl.

Sarah:

I'm Pterodactyl and you're Markedon.

Mark:

Markedon.

Sarah:

From now on, Totosaurus.

Mark:

Totosaurus. The unsung hero of this episode is the production crew who got to make a million dinosaur things. Yeah. So they got to make the sign.

Sarah:

The dinosaur and cheetah and the big orange dinosaur that isn't even the kind of dinosaur Maggie thinks she found. No. Let's be clear. No. No.

Sarah:

Not even remotely close.

Mark:

No. They made the cup holders for Frodo.

Sarah:

You mean the dinosaurs? That's what they are.

Mark:

They're dinosaurs.

Sarah:

They're dinosaurs.

Mark:

That's gotta be the name of the

Sarah:

If you don't know, that sleeve that you put around a coffee cup to go that keeps your fingers from getting burned is actually called a Zarf. That's the name of them, z a r f. And for this they have hot pink Dinozarfs. As soon as I saw them, I was like, dinosaurs.

Mark:

They also have signs in the back of the truck at the

Sarah:

end When they're taking them all down.

Mark:

That we never see.

Sarah:

No. Yeah. The winner of this episode is whoever does the large scale screen printing in Broken Wood. Yes. Because whatever comes around next, they're gonna be like, do you wanna sign?

Sarah:

Do you wanna change the name of your business? Would you like to be the dinosaur and cheetah? The vampire and cheetah? The werewolf and cheetah? What what what do you wanna be?

Mark:

I I'm always always reminded about Ray's wife who dies in the first season.

Sarah:

Yeah. You forget all about her.

Mark:

I never imagined again.

Sarah:

I forget that Trudy and Doug were married. Yeah. You know? Because he's so much older than her that I just don't see them as a couple. And she was in prison and stuff, so you just forget.

Mark:

She married down.

Sarah:

Okay, so here's a big question I have. So Rowena is religious. If you're not sure about this, they make it very clear. Yes. In the minute that we meet her, she mentions God

Mark:

Like, six times.

Sarah:

Six times. Okay? She's She's got

Mark:

the god.

Sarah:

Supposed to be a very religious person.

Mark:

To the point where it's almost embarrassing for religious people.

Sarah:

Jesus is her cell phone, honey.

Mark:

Yes, Jesus is her cell phone.

Sarah:

That's how devout she is. She's so devout that Reverend Green is kind of like, do you have to be so gaudy? But she lives in sin with her fiance.

Mark:

Yeah. There's that.

Sarah:

That doesn't click for me. No. Somebody that devout would be like, you have to live somewhere else. Yes. Wouldn't they?

Mark:

And he has a workshop there?

Sarah:

He's a shed. He's a man shed. I guess. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the It's way bigger.

Mark:

I don't understand how it's

Sarah:

like a Tardis shed. But yeah, I just don't think that they would be living under the same roof if you're that devout. That would be something that you would definitely be against.

Mark:

That if you would show children that that reading book. How

Sarah:

the dinosaurs and the people got along?

Mark:

I like, they didn't make that book.

Sarah:

If they did, they made it based on one that that exists because Yes. Those books exist.

Mark:

But they had to go buy that book.

Sarah:

Doug touches evidence.

Mark:

Doug touches. Okay. First first, Frodo

Sarah:

rapturous and Totosaurus find the body.

Mark:

And they do exactly the right thing.

Sarah:

And they're matching plaid shirts.

Mark:

They try to solve save this person.

Sarah:

Well, first they're like, look, he's swimming. It's kinda cold. Oh, he's swimming face down. Maybe he's in trouble. We got plaid shirts on.

Sarah:

Let's go save him.

Mark:

They

Sarah:

Uh-oh. He's got something in his forehead. He's probably dead. You're right. They do the right thing.

Sarah:

They they wade into the one foot deep river Yes. And haul the body out.

Mark:

And that appliance that he gets turned over, and by appliance, I mean makeup appliance, is really good.

Sarah:

Yeah. The rock hammer doesn't even like flang around

Mark:

It just Which it should

Sarah:

because you know it's foam.

Mark:

Yeah. It's like foam rubber or something.

Sarah:

Yeah. No. It's really good. Though after they take it out, he has this pronounced like lump on his forehead.

Mark:

Yes. And Doug is there then. Mhmm. Then he finds the crook and touches everything.

Sarah:

Touches all of it. Like licks the door handle, touches it. Takes the notebook, touches the windows. Yep. He's just touching and touching.

Sarah:

Touching and touching. I love the broken wood car rental sticker. There's no subtlety of this is a rented car. Nope. Just screams rented car.

Sarah:

Yep. And it's Howard Wainwright, The US paleontologist. Howard Wainwright. Wainwright.

Mark:

Okay. We've discussed this on the show many times. We're just gonna do a blanket here. This is not how paleontology works. Nope.

Mark:

This is not how academia works. Nope. This is not how professors work. Nope. And this is not how Americans work.

Mark:

Nope. All of those things are true about this individual. He is from New Zealand. I doubt he's ever even been to America. Even the most

Sarah:

desperate pre tenured faculty would not pick up and fly all the way to New Zealand to go, mine.

Mark:

Yeah. I found it. The license they have for him looks reasonably good for a Tennessee license. Kentucky? Sorry.

Mark:

Kentucky license.

Sarah:

Yeah. But it's also a poor Xerox, so it doesn't have to be exact.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

But then the fossil's gone. So they've got a body and a missing fossil.

Mark:

So they figure out that it relates to Maggie because it's it's an ice pick. Mark, it's not a nice pick.

Sarah:

Was that your Gina episode? Mark is not a nice pick? Are you Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gina?

Mark:

I guess. It's a rock pick.

Sarah:

It's not a tumor.

Mark:

Yes. And Trotsky gets mentioned. So then I went down a rabbit hole of how Trotsky died.

Sarah:

Did he die from an ice pick?

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Yeah. He did. Could happen to a nicer guy.

Mark:

Last year's are not good.

Sarah:

It's not Rasputin level bad,

Mark:

but It's

Sarah:

The way he dies, but it's a slow decline exacerbated by a fast end.

Mark:

And, like, there were three assassination attempts on him in the last three months of his life.

Sarah:

Get the hit, dude.

Mark:

Yeah. Like if you have okay. If you have a compound in Mexico, just imagine that that you have to have bodyguards at

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Maybe things are not going well.

Sarah:

Right. Right off the bat, you probably made some mistakes.

Mark:

You you probably.

Sarah:

Yeah. And then if you end up with an ice pick in you, maybe you should.

Mark:

In your library. You need to hire better security.

Sarah:

Yeah. Re examine your choices. I love how when the police are at the scene where the fossil has been stolen, that Doug and Ron do this. Well, you're busy, so we'll help. I'll let you know when I find out.

Sarah:

No, don't do no, don't, don't help. All right, I get it. I won't help, wink, wink. I'll let you know what I find out. No, no.

Mark:

The Doug and Ron investigative show.

Sarah:

Though It's just Doug breaking into Ron's house and looking for a giant bone on a bookshelf.

Mark:

Though would have a spectacular pilot, I don't think it's a big seller.

Sarah:

It wouldn't last. No. It wouldn't last. Though, would be more than happy with them sort of inset down in the corner from now on in all Brokenwood episodes commenting on everything like those two old dudes on the Muppets Oh, yeah. With Beers.

Mark:

Yeah. They're really the Muppet old guys.

Sarah:

I would be more than happy to have that option to turn on the the Doug and Ron commentary on all of Brokenwood. I think it would be great.

Mark:

If if we're gonna get commentary on the episodes, we're gonna get true e commentary.

Sarah:

Oh, she just say I'm no narc, but that guy's a narc. Look, he's a narc. Fool.

Mark:

Nark. Nark. Frida

Sarah:

owns the land Yes. Where the fossil has been found.

Mark:

Why does she even own land? Why is she in the episode?

Sarah:

What do you mean why does she own land?

Mark:

Like

Sarah:

Are you saying that she can't own land? No. Are you saying that she shouldn't be a hermit just because she's a woman? Is that what you're saying?

Mark:

Why is she there?

Sarah:

I don't know.

Mark:

Like They

Sarah:

should've just brought back the possum grease lady. They already had a woman hermit. Like they dropped some clues through her but She's her own person doing her thing.

Mark:

And she shoots the tire for no reason at all. If you

Sarah:

live in New Zealand, tell us. Are the peep Is that like people normal? And now is it like a trope that every village has the person that lives on their own and doesn't wanna be bothered?

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

But isn't it but isn't burying bodies on their land, like, everybody kind of respects them and treats them, leaves them alone? Yeah. But because they're not bad, I guess.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

I don't know, but I don't know how many times she can say, I've answered your questions. Go away.

Mark:

I have in my notes. Doug is the world champion at touching evidence.

Sarah:

Evidence world champion toucher. Mon, I kept thinking, Ron, you know, we had a whole episode about you and your dog and how much you love your dog and how much you were upset about your other dog dying by accident.

Mark:

Yes. Why is the dog outside?

Sarah:

Why does the precious dog have to live out in a little fence under a box?

Mark:

Yeah. I thought the exact same thing.

Sarah:

And if it's such a good dog, why do you have to have a leash on it when it's just sitting next to you on the porch? Poor dog.

Mark:

Well, the American had a chalet. Isn't that weird?

Sarah:

That's where he was staying. He rented one. I'm guessing there's three or four of them there.

Mark:

I guess, but it's so much weirder that the priest and the psychiatrist on a tandem bike gets stuck there. It sounds like a start of a joke.

Sarah:

A priest and a psychiatrist who's a magnet for bad people are riding on a tandem bike and run over a broken bottle and break their tire in the rain in New Zealand next to a chalet. Like, it's a bad it's a bad setup for a joke. Like, there's too much there.

Mark:

Yes. Okay. So Sarah, we see that he has a laptop there.

Sarah:

Wainwright does?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Yeah. And his password is TheBiggestDinosaur.

Mark:

Yes. Did you happen to catch his email address?

Sarah:

No. Because I knew you were gonna look at it, so I just skipped right over it.

Mark:

First of all, he's got a big old dinosaur back wallpaper. Wallpaper.

Sarah:

Of course he does. He has to. On the nose.

Mark:

Right on the nose. So this email is fantastic. First of all, it's from hello@howardwainwright.com.

Sarah:

He has his own URL.

Mark:

And Earl, that is available.

Sarah:

Please don't buy howardwainwright.com.

Mark:

Which is going to the paleontology list, I think it says. Okay?

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

So he's sending. Dear fellow academics. Okay. No one no one starts an email. But you have

Sarah:

to remember, he didn't write it. Maggie did. And she's an amateur. So she doesn't know how academics write.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

She doesn't know that we would address it, yo assholes. Or

Mark:

no greeting at all.

Sarah:

Hey jerks who made the last meeting we had way too long.

Mark:

I hope this email finds you well. Totally.

Sarah:

Don't ever start an email with that. So because you don't. You don't wish them well.

Mark:

So it says what it says and it's all right. Well, Maggie said makes it say something then.

Sarah:

Wow. Did I find a great big bone? Yes. It's so cool, but Maggie found it and she should get all the credit. It is definitely a dinosaur.

Sarah:

Yes. Goodbye fellow academics.

Mark:

No kind regards Howard Wainwright. No academic is ever going to sign off an email like that.

Sarah:

Oh, I don't know about that.

Mark:

Maybe a cheers.

Sarah:

I get kind regards.

Mark:

But it would be kind regards, Howie

Sarah:

or Howard. No, it would be with kindest regards and salutations. Howard R. Wainwright, PhD, and a big old signature with every accolade he's ever won ever.

Mark:

I think you should go into work every morning and go, dear fellow academics.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's how I should address all my emails now. Did you notice Mike's wall calendar in his office?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

The dry erase one? Yes. Did you notice what's gonna happen on the second? No. Overnight conference, Riverstone.

Mark:

It's a million miles away.

Sarah:

It's the next town over and the psychiatrist goes there every day for work. Yeah. Well, Mike's gonna go there and stay overnight

Mark:

for a conference. He might, you know, it may go late in the evening.

Sarah:

Okay. So he can't drive fifteen minutes home.

Mark:

I forget what's up right now I was on. It may have been midsummer. But somebody asked, is it actually like the way it is in England where people think a two hour drive is insane.

Sarah:

Like it's an all day thing.

Mark:

Yeah. And this person was like, I'm a Canadian living in The US. I've lived in The UK. I've lived here ten years. It is insane.

Sarah:

What how much people in The UK inflate how how difficult a drive said,

Mark:

this person said that they went to their grandparents every year for Christmas and it drove it took them six hours to drive there.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

He said for people in The UK, that would be two weeks.

Sarah:

Oh, we'll have to stay over when we get halfway Once

Mark:

we're halfway there, we'll have to stay over. What?

Sarah:

We need to bring a hamper. We've driven more than twelve hours in one day. Yeah. But we're hardcore. Just thought it was funny that he was gonna stay overnight in Riverstone.

Mark:

Did you see the youngest patron of the jaguar the dinosaur and jaguar?

Sarah:

Let's just talk about the transformation of the dinosaur and jaguar. Cheetah. The dinosaur and cheetah. Yes. The frog and dinosaur.

Sarah:

I don't know. Whatever it's called. Two things that are both animals.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Ray goes out immediately to like the Oriental Trading Company or something or Big Lots or something and says, give me all your plastic dinosaurs, everything that you got. Yes. And then just sets them on every surface. Then everybody in town goes out and buys all the cheap dinosaur costumes that they can get. I'm surprised there's not an inflatable T Rex sitting at the bar the whole episode.

Mark:

It's the dinosaur and panther. And the best part is they have specials.

Sarah:

Yeah. I could never read the specials.

Mark:

I could not read the specials. I didn't have time this week to message Tracy, but I will message Tracy and ask her if she took a picture of the specials board for this episode because she's that kind of person. Yeah. And she knows we're that kind of people. It's

Sarah:

but she didn't know about us when they filmed this. But there it's probably stuff like you get at a theme park, like the chicken wings are now pterodactyl wings.

Mark:

Yeah. I think so. I think ribs is at least one of them. But they made a sign for the like, they made a sandwich board for that. They made t shirts.

Mark:

They made a sign that go on the outside I'd

Sarah:

love to have one of those t shirts.

Mark:

They put they put dinosaurs everywhere. Yep. Everywhere. They got a dinosaur costume for a kid and a parent and put them in it like they went full out.

Sarah:

Never mind. Dinozarves. Dinozarves. Doug and Ron have seen the fossil because they have both been at the dig site. Yes.

Sarah:

And so when it goes missing and they're not sure where it is and they're jealous of each other and in some big fogey fight, Doug suspects that Ron has taken it to impress Maggie. I don't really know how that would impress And so goes into Ron's house and starts looking around. Now he has seen the diner the the fossil. The fossil that is big enough that somebody had to throw it in a tarp and drag it Yep. To get it out.

Sarah:

It's not as big as it should be when they do find it. Well, okay. Anyway, Doug thinks he could hide it like on a bookshelf or under a seat cushion. He knows how big it is.

Mark:

He's hiding. He's crawling around behind his It's like

Sarah:

a cinder block at least. Yeah. It's not under a magazine, Doug.

Mark:

Doug. Now Doug does a good job here of appearing drunk but not saying, hey, I'm drunk.

Sarah:

Yeah. But Ron says, hey, you're drunk.

Mark:

Yes. After he puts his dog coast to see

Sarah:

You're like, why is he

Mark:

The dog should be

Sarah:

in his lap. Yeah. Poor boy, you lonely out there. We also have them fighting over the notebook.

Mark:

Yes. In the bar. And the notebook falls out.

Sarah:

The notebook that touchy touchy Doug found.

Mark:

Now Ron does the right thing.

Sarah:

He does the right thing for the wrong reason. He takes it to the police to go, Doug had this and you should charge him and you should lock him up forever. Yes. And Kristen is not nearly as smart as I thought she was, because she doesn't even think maybe this is an existing code I'm looking at. Yeah.

Sarah:

Like, it's an established system of shorthand. Again. That's what I would look up first. Yep. Types of shorthand.

Sarah:

Yep. What do they look like?

Mark:

It immediately looks like shorthand to me.

Sarah:

This is not, you know, 1992.

Mark:

No. And again, so Chalmers spends the evening doing this code.

Sarah:

He even treats it like a code he has to break. Yes. Instead of going, I wonder if this is a shorthand system.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Looks like Pittman.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

How do you read Pittman shorthand? It's not really, by the way.

Mark:

This once again

Sarah:

It looks like Pittman shorthand but it's fake Pittman shorthand.

Mark:

Yeah. This episode once again, like all of the episodes of the last two seasons have been single women's lives in Brokenwood are horrible.

Sarah:

No wonder they become hermits.

Mark:

Let's see who you have to choose from.

Sarah:

What's a woman hermit? Hermet. Hermetus?

Mark:

Hermetus? Maybe? I don't know if it's different.

Sarah:

Hermit woman? Hermit woman. I don't know. Sorry. Yes.

Mark:

You on the young side, you have Todd and Frodo. Mhmm.

Sarah:

And Chalmers.

Mark:

In the middle, you have Chalmers who works all night on a code.

Sarah:

But he figures that

Mark:

In the old side, you have Doug and Ray and Ron. Who's who's Ray? Ray from the bar.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Trudy's brother Ray.

Mark:

Yeah. Like no wonder Trudy married Doug. There's no one else to choose from.

Sarah:

She played eeny meeny miny moe between Doug and Ron. Well, Ron's wife died. Yeah. So he was sad, so she picked Doug. Chalmers wasn't there yet.

Mark:

So then there's a weird scene in which Frodo talks about his memoirs.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because he Doug is sees trying to transcribe the diary.

Mark:

Yeah. He sees the diary and Frodo says, I wrote everything down for a long time. And he goes on this tangent about what he ate.

Sarah:

What would his memoirs be called, Mark? I Frodo. I Frodo.

Mark:

No. They'd be like Lord of the Ringsy. Like, one Frodo to rule them all.

Sarah:

Oh, yeah. That would get New Zealand readers. Yeah. But if you wanted to be classy and self effacing, he might I know why the caged Frodo sings.

Mark:

Oh, that's esoteric. Wow. The caged Frodo.

Sarah:

Yes. And his his coffee cart is his cage. Yes. And Brokenwood is his cage. Yeah.

Sarah:

And the expectations of culture are his cage, Mark.

Mark:

What if he wrote the memoir On the Road? Like,

Sarah:

he called it On the Road, but it was in his coffee cart? Yeah. No, I think the psychiatrist and the reverend should write on the road about their tandem bike.

Mark:

Zane and the art of coffee cup maintenance. Just

Sarah:

misery, that's

Mark:

what Coffee they're cart maintenance.

Sarah:

Coffee cart maintenance. When they serve the warrant on Maggie's house, there's a song. Did you notice the song playing? No. What?

Sarah:

It's a Candyman song.

Mark:

Oh, yes. That Candyman's.

Sarah:

And it is bizarre. It is. It's not Candyman, can. A different song about Candyman and it is weird.

Mark:

I thought it was Candyman like druggy drug Candyman.

Sarah:

I don't know if it's like Candyman don't say his name in front of a mirror three times, Candyman, because it's real evil sounding. It's not a fun song. If you didn't notice it, just go back to the scene where they serve the warrant on Maggie's house and do the search. Yeah. You put put the subtitles on.

Mark:

It's a weird song. It is very strange.

Sarah:

I'm sure it's in the credits. I didn't look to see if it recorded it. It's so weird. Christian drops

Mark:

a famous five reference here.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because of the code. Yep. And the fossil is in Jake's man shed. His So,

Mark:

okay. So this fossil is

Sarah:

Where Maggie has so poorly hidden it. Maggie's the killer by

Mark:

the way. Okay. So there is a rock. Okay? Now, Maggie has killed this man and put him under a tarp and hidden.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

There is a storm coming.

Sarah:

Yes. Okay. And the corpse is washed into the crick.

Mark:

I don't really care about the corpse, that kind of works. What doesn't work is the saw. Okay? That saw either has to be gas powered or electric.

Sarah:

I don't think there are batteries in existence that would be strong enough for that kind of a stone saw like that to be Okay. Battery operated.

Mark:

Okay. So It could be. It's a gas run saw. Mhmm. That makes that noise.

Sarah:

Doug would definitely hear it.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

If he can see her with binoculars Yeah. He could hear that for sure.

Mark:

Okay. Second of all, I like went through them, like I even drew a little picture of how do you cut that out

Sarah:

How do you get the back?

Mark:

With that saw. Like, it was weird. You don't get a square like that.

Sarah:

Well, you do if it's exposed on one side, I guess.

Mark:

I guess? Maggie wasn't the strongest woman.

Sarah:

What's she doing with that saw?

Mark:

Don't care. What is she well, okay.

Sarah:

She should have a little pick and a little brush Okay. And a shovel.

Mark:

I'm listeners.

Sarah:

She's in the quarry. Maybe it's always there.

Mark:

You know, I've I've started writing serialized novels, one of which has archaeology stuff in it. This is not how you run a dig. She is by herself.

Sarah:

She's an amateur.

Mark:

Even if she's an amateur, where did she get that $5,000 saw?

Sarah:

Jake steps in. I'm down there sometimes, but not recently. And then steps away again.

Mark:

Not recently. Did he bring the saw?

Sarah:

I guess. He's he's got some saws in his man shed.

Mark:

I guess. Maybe?

Sarah:

She puts the fossil in the shed. She hides it very poorly.

Mark:

The thing they do get right about academics is whenever they go to dig sites, they have walking poles.

Sarah:

Mhmm. And they wear nice shoes. Yeah. I really should have run this episode past our friend who's an actual paleontologist and asked her what she thought, but she probably would have just guffawed.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And said that's not how it works. Not how that works, that's not how that works, that doesn't work like that. No no no no no no no no no. No. Jake has fossil fever.

Sarah:

He loses it. Just grabs Maggie and goes, where's the fossil? I need the fossil. Where does he think he's gonna sell that thing?

Mark:

Don't know.

Sarah:

If this is such a big deal in New Zealand, he's just gonna like, is he gonna take it down to the antique mall where the guy's got all the stuffed ferrets and sell it to him and get $10 for it? No. What's he gonna do? I mean, why is he so desperate for cash? He lives for free.

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

Does he need to get away from Rowena? Is that what he's desperate to do?

Mark:

Well, this is where we find out Rowena actually only spent four months in Bloomington. Yeah. My first question was, where'd she live?

Sarah:

I just don't get how she how so Jake talked to Maggie online first. Yeah. Is he actually into paleontology or was he in on the, like, the worst get rich quick scheme?

Mark:

He's into paleontology, getting rich quick, and meeting ladies who are educated in America.

Sarah:

Hot creationists?

Mark:

Hot creationists.

Sarah:

That's a bucket.

Mark:

It it it is.

Sarah:

I just don't know what his motivation is. Like, if he wanted money, there's a lot of better ways to get it. Yeah. And he wouldn't have to be engaged to somebody he

Mark:

doesn't don't know really why he needs the money so desperately.

Sarah:

Enough to like manhandle an older lady.

Mark:

Yeah. In in an episode in a show that we've criticized that there are too many people in this episode, there are too few suspects in this episode.

Sarah:

Yeah. There's four people who are not recurring characters, and one of them's dead. Yes. One of them is a hermit. Yep.

Sarah:

Well, no, five. Sorry. Five. And then there's Maggie, Jake, and Rowena. So Maggie, Jake, or Rowena did it.

Mark:

Yeah. Like, that's it.

Sarah:

The big surprise is Maggie did it. Yes. Because the other two are red losers, red herring losers.

Mark:

But they're Liar Mcliarsons too.

Sarah:

Well, Rowena doesn't lie one time when she says Kristen's coffee tastes like the devil's urine.

Mark:

The devil's urine. Wow.

Sarah:

Kristen's like, I don't wanna know how you know what the devil's urine tastes like. Devil's urine.

Mark:

Some things I did research of. How many people from IU have graduated from the who are New Zealand citizens?

Sarah:

No. I don't know.

Mark:

So these these are New Zealand alumni.

Sarah:

I don't know.

Mark:

98.

Sarah:

That's it?

Mark:

That's

Sarah:

it. And all the time that

Mark:

IU has existed. All of the two hundred years that IU has existed.

Sarah:

Oh, she's not one of them. Marina's not one. She only stuck it out for a semester.

Mark:

How many Canadians?

Sarah:

Many more.

Mark:

Two thousand and twenty seven.

Sarah:

Of which? Big more than that.

Mark:

I am one.

Sarah:

You are. Yep. So it boils down to this fossil is not what Maggie thinks it is, right? And Wainwright was actually the most realistic academic when he acts like an absolute jerk, and taunts her and teases her because she's an amateur. Yes.

Sarah:

And she gets so mad that she puts a rock pick in his forehead.

Mark:

After he says, imagine the memes.

Sarah:

He kinda deserves it.

Mark:

A thing our children have said to us where I looked at them and went, oh.

Sarah:

You don't even know. Yep. I was around when memes were invented, child. You don't know.

Mark:

I was

Mark:

there when memes were burst.

Sarah:

So it turns out that the the fossil is actually not the toe of a pterodon Yes. But the fossilized remains of a shrew or a hedgehog Yes. According to the email from the Geoscience Institute.

Mark:

Ten thousand years ago, that would be a big mammal.

Sarah:

No. It wouldn't.

Mark:

Oh, it wouldn't? No. Not even then?

Sarah:

No. Okay. What they call giant shrews. Yes. Prehistoric giant Okay.

Sarah:

Shrews. Yes. Guess how much they weighed? In ounces. Guess how much they weighed?

Mark:

In ounces? Yes. 12. Two. Two giant true.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's more than twice what they weigh now.

Mark:

They're we.

Sarah:

I have a quiz for you about this.

Mark:

Oh, okay. Okay.

Sarah:

Are you ready?

Mark:

We the readers the readers the listeners love a quiz, especially when I have to pretend to be smart.

Sarah:

I wondered, as you surmised that prehistoric mammals were much bigger than their modern counterparts.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Right? And to be fair, the modern shrew is half the size or or less Yes. Than its giant prehistoric ancestor.

Mark:

Yes. Because there's this thing called animal gigantism and dwarfism that if you are an animal on a small place, you get bigger, and if you're an animal on a big place, you get smaller.

Sarah:

Okay. That might explain some of the answers on my quiz. Okay. But probably not.

Mark:

Okay. So what is this quiz?

Sarah:

This is the how much bigger were they back then quiz. Okay. Do you like that title? Yes. Alright.

Sarah:

So I'm gonna tell you an animal that exists now. Yes. And I will tell you it's modern weight and it's modern height.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And you guess how much the prehistoric version of it weighed and would be measured.

Mark:

Now these are not iron or bronze age animals.

Sarah:

No. Are These are prehistoric

Mark:

Tens of thousands at least years ago.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sloths. Sloth.

Sarah:

They are in modern weight around eleven pounds and about two feet in length. How big were their prehistoric brothers?

Mark:

They had giant sloths.

Sarah:

Yeah. But they had giant shrews too. They were two ounces, so that doesn't help you.

Mark:

Let's go 20 pounds.

Sarah:

And how how tall?

Mark:

They're two feet long now. Uh-huh. Let's go four feet long.

Sarah:

They were eighty eight hundred pounds Oh my and stood 20 feet tall.

Mark:

Oh my gosh.

Sarah:

That's not a giant sloth. That's Megatherium Sloth,

Mark:

they're called. Okay. So we also need to rank these.

Sarah:

They are 800 times smaller now than they were as prehistoric.

Mark:

Now we also need to rank these animals in what we would do or

Sarah:

If we could fight them?

Mark:

No. No. If we ran into this. So you're you're walking on a trail and suddenly

Sarah:

A 20 foot sloth weighing over 800 8,000 pounds drops from a tree.

Mark:

Comes out of a tree. I would scream like Frodo and run away. There would be a mark shaped hole in a tree.

Sarah:

And it would reach out and just grab you Yep. Without moving No. Because its arms were like 18 feet long.

Mark:

Oh my

Sarah:

You weren't even close on

Mark:

that No.

Sarah:

Alright. How about an armadillo?

Mark:

Okay. So armadillos Their

Sarah:

modern weight is 11 pounds and they are about half a foot tall. How big do you think

Mark:

they Little Southwestern America, little mammals.

Sarah:

Desert dwelling.

Mark:

Desert dwelling mammals.

Sarah:

Yep. The closest thing to a football, a living football you can get.

Mark:

Yes. Let's go that they were four feet high and weighed two tons.

Sarah:

Two tons?

Mark:

Yes. That

Sarah:

would make them a puddle, wouldn't it?

Mark:

Kinda.

Sarah:

Four feet tall and a and two tons?

Mark:

Yeah. Well, maybe eight feet. No. Six feet tall.

Sarah:

So they are currently eleven pounds and half a foot tall. Yes. Their prehistoric relatives were forty four hundred pounds and five feet tall.

Mark:

Which is two tons.

Sarah:

They were small tanks.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Yeah. You're you're darn close on that one. Wow. I'll give you that one right.

Mark:

Again, screaming in the other direction.

Sarah:

Oh, wow. They just run you over. Yeah. It'd be like a small rhinoceros. Yeah.

Sarah:

You know? They just run you over. Speaking of rhinos, how about rhinos? They currently weigh around 5,100 pounds and they're about six feet tall.

Mark:

See, now I'm gonna flip the script and have baby mini rhinos.

Sarah:

You think they were smaller like Ben?

Mark:

Half a foot a foot off the ground and weighing 90 pounds.

Sarah:

So armadillos were 400 times bigger back then.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Rhinos were about eight times bigger.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

They weighed about 37,000 pounds and were about sixteen feet tall. That's a two story tall rhinoceros that weighs as much as a bus. That is a rhino the size of a bus.

Mark:

And people people are like, okay.

Sarah:

Coming right at you.

Mark:

People people who say, and I'm I'm not gonna step on any toes, but I'm gonna step some on some toes. People who say that dinosaurs and humans existed have no idea how animals work because dinosaurs would wipe us out almost instantaneous.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

So would any of these mammals.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. We lived long after these mammals. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah:

That's the rhino.

Mark:

And if you've worked with any sort of animal, like a cow or a horse, you understand that those animals could kill you instantaneously without a lot of problems.

Sarah:

Now imagine it's seven and a half times larger. Yes. My Imagine a cow 16 feet tall.

Mark:

I'm gonna dream about 16 feet tall cows today. Look out for the udder.

Sarah:

Just knocks over huge huge groups of people.

Mark:

That's a lot of poop.

Sarah:

It's a big poop. That alone could kill you if you're it. Oh. You know how a hippo

Mark:

Poop from the sky. How

Sarah:

a hippo can whirl his tail around and sling poop.

Mark:

Oh, my.

Sarah:

If there were hippos that size, they could just kill everybody. Okay. Your last one's a cute one. Okay.

Mark:

Beavers. Beavers.

Sarah:

They currently weigh about 45 pounds, and they're about a foot tall. Yeah. They're When they're on the ground.

Mark:

They're a little ground 12.

Sarah:

Not when they're standing, but when they're on the ground, they're about a foot tall. Yeah. How big do you think they were in prehistoric years?

Mark:

Well, now I'm scared of giant beavers. That's a brand new sentence.

Sarah:

They're not sixteen feet tall.

Mark:

Okay. Let's go eight foot tall and weighing four hundred pounds like a like a bear.

Sarah:

They were about two hundred pounds and about three feet tall.

Mark:

Okay. But still, that's a giant rodent. Yeah. With giant teeth.

Sarah:

Just imagine the teeth.

Mark:

The saber tooth paper.

Sarah:

Just imagine the tail. Yeah. The tail would be like, well, they're like three feet long now. Yeah. They'd be like nine feet then because they're five times larger back then than they are now.

Sarah:

Wow. That tail could sweep 20 or 30 people.

Mark:

And through the water, they probably move so fast.

Sarah:

Oh, man. They could take down whole trees.

Mark:

Well, they do that now.

Sarah:

And like carry a whole tree. Throw a whole tree. Yeah. Oh my god.

Mark:

Well, I'm not going back then in my time traveling machine.

Sarah:

So the animal that changed the most were sloths.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

They would smell so bad.

Mark:

Any of those things would smell so bad. They're buttholes as big as I am. And now you have the title of

Sarah:

the episode. Dino Zarfs and Bubbles's biggest mark. Man, I wanna see a prehistoric sloth and a prehistoric armadillo fight.

Mark:

The these animals are ginormous, and the first scientist who found them must have had a difficult time. Yeah. It was a beaver, but it was like six feet tall. Okay, George. Whatever.

Mark:

I don't

Sarah:

think so. I think that was a T Rex, George. No. Really? Should've seen its teeth.

Sarah:

So what Maggie has found is basically a shrew. Yes. But she thinks it's a t rex's toe.

Mark:

So she is

Sarah:

She's clearly an amateur. There's a big difference between those two.

Mark:

And then she goes, my daughter ruined my life. Wait. It takes some responsibility there.

Sarah:

What? Because she called in an expert? Now she had nefarious reasons for it, but Wainwright is a paleontologist. He's not wrong about what she found. Yeah.

Sarah:

Somebody was gonna figure that out. Yeah. Maggie couldn't fool the world forever.

Mark:

Well, and Canada does this, and so New Zealand does this, which is we live in the middle of nowhere. Oh, wait, we're right next to a giant

Sarah:

An hour away there's a university with paleontologists. Never mind if this was actually the toe of a larger dinosaur, the rest of it would be there. Maybe not complete, but other parts of it would be there. If you find a toe, what does that tell you? Like, T Rex lost a toe right here and then disappeared for you know, the rest of him disappeared.

Sarah:

Like, there's going to be more to it. Keep digging. Find the rest.

Mark:

The thing about the ending that I am stunned with is I thought way too much about this. So he does his little imagine the meme things and gets whammoed.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Now it's a PG rated show, so we don't see the whammo.

Sarah:

But we do see the blood splatter on Maggie's face.

Mark:

Maggie has blood splatter on her face. When does she stop to clean that up and how does she

Sarah:

No. Rain. What? Rain. Okay.

Sarah:

And washes it off.

Mark:

He also has a a bag that disappears.

Sarah:

Yeah. She eats it.

Mark:

Oh, she

Sarah:

eats She fed it to her giant sloth.

Mark:

Are you sure her daughter didn't eat it? Because, you know

Sarah:

Maybe Doug has it. Yeah. I love you so much. I'll hide your evidence and touch up stuff. I really like the scene at the end with Doug and Ron.

Sarah:

It's really well written. Two old farts chasing after a lady murderous. Yep. Even though lady murderous is redundant. Yes.

Sarah:

I really like them sitting there drinking beer. They didn't let a woman come between them, especially a murdering one. Like, they're lucky that neither of them landed Maggie because, boy, insult her meatloaf and you don't know what's gonna happen.

Mark:

Well, it would be the second woman that Doug married that was a murderer.

Sarah:

That's true.

Mark:

I my last line in my notes is Ron and Doug make up.

Sarah:

Kissy kissy?

Mark:

Inside of the truck that the

Sarah:

The sign collection truck.

Mark:

Sign collection truck to the dump is a sign that has a dinosaur on a bicycle and the words bike or die. I don't know what it's for. I don't like

Sarah:

Maybe that's where they bought the tandem.

Mark:

I think there's a scene missing with that sign and the tandem

Sarah:

bike. Dino bike.

Mark:

And I gotta say the doctor doctor death magnet does a bad job. He's bad in the relationship. He just shows up and goes, get out of your stuff. We gotta go bike right now.

Sarah:

Yeah. I know you're praying and stuff, but you do that all the time. Let's go. It's time to bike. He really should have a dinosaur on his helmet.

Sarah:

Like, the head should be like like a t rex head.

Mark:

They sell dino helmets.

Sarah:

Clearly. We don't have to do best corpse because there's only one. Yes. So what happens after the credits?

Mark:

Well, she goes up the river.

Sarah:

Maggie goes to jail.

Mark:

Does the daughter go to jail?

Sarah:

Well, Jake is gonna do something because He assaulted assaulted her. Yeah. And I assume that he's not gonna get away with that. But I think it's like a misdemeanor, right, because he didn't actually hurt her. Yeah.

Sarah:

Didn't injure her. Maybe Rowena will go off to that nunnery where they make the pot stuff Maybe. Where they're growing the pot That that would and become a nun. Maybe. That would I think she would like that.

Mark:

And Ron and Doug have their own show now. Yeah. The Ron and Doug show.

Sarah:

Yeah. They just drink beer and criticize things. Two

Mark:

old farts.

Sarah:

Yeah. My murdering wife wouldn't have done it like that. She would have done a better job. She strung up people like scarecrows when

Mark:

she did her murdering. Recommendations.

Sarah:

Yes. To help you get through the winter doldrums, we have been ending our episodes with fun recommendations of things that we think might help you.

Mark:

I am recommending the Olympics because the Olympics are on and I watch the Olympics nonstop.

Mark:

But watch a country that you pick. There are 92 countries. Yeah. So that means there's 91 countries that you don't live in. Pick one of those countries, preferably a country that

Sarah:

is That you know little about.

Mark:

That is just there for the experience.

Sarah:

That has, like, five five athletes in hole.

Mark:

Yeah. Those athletes. You will be enriched. They all

Sarah:

have amazing stories, and there's lots of stuff on YouTube. Yep. You don't have to go and subscribe to one of the services to see some.

Mark:

If you see an article about ski jumpers and injections, don't read it.

Sarah:

They injected their penises. If you don't believe me, Google it. It's crazy. They're like flying squirrels. So that's your inject your recommend My injection.

Sarah:

Your recommendation. My recommendation is to watch the great pottery throwdown.

Mark:

So this has I think it is nine seasons now. And it has two main judges, which are Keith and Richard

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Who may be the greatest human beings.

Sarah:

If you like The Great British Bake Off because the contestants are supportive of each other and encouraging and it's very positive even though it's a competitive show, you'll like The Pottery Throwdown. You can find episodes of it on YouTube if you can't find it on

Mark:

The first five seasons are on HBO Max

Sarah:

in The US. If But there are some episodes on YouTube, but we didn't put them on If you

Mark:

find the Great British Bake Off too too much competition and too cutthroat

Sarah:

I don't know what to tell you.

Mark:

You should still watch this show Yeah. Because one of the judges cries on a regular basis.

Sarah:

Keith is so sweet. Now He may be the sweetest man on TV.

Mark:

Yeah. And there's there's tons to watch of him. There's a video that he did with Noel

Sarah:

Noel Fielding. Fielding.

Mark:

Yeah. That is just a brilliant piece of art.

Sarah:

It's very funny.

Mark:

He's redoing a church in Wales with his wife who is as much of a character as he is.

Sarah:

I forget what that show is called, but I think it was on BritBox. Yeah. I think so. BritBox.

Mark:

And currently, it's hosted by a Siobhan McSweeney who is fantastical.

Sarah:

If you watched any of Dairy Girls, she was the nun in charge of them and the school in Dairy Girls. And I don't know. She's got kind of bucky teeth, kind of bigger woman. She's so funny, and she's a great host.

Mark:

She's a fantastic

Sarah:

So that's the pottery throwdown. Great British pottery great pottery throwdown.

Mark:

The great pottery throwdown. There's a Canadian version that

Sarah:

has Doesn't have Keith, so I'm not gonna watch it.

Mark:

No. I love Keith. But but there is a Canadian version.

Sarah:

But it's fun. And it's a it's a feel good you can really watch any episode you want. You don't even have to, like, watch a full season. No. And you'll you'll still like it.

Mark:

They make beautiful things Yeah. Or very earnest, honest things.

Sarah:

Failures. But it's fun. Yeah. Very supportive, and it's exciting. And you learn a little bit about pottery.

Mark:

What do

Sarah:

you know?

Mark:

And they have fun. That is a show in which they laugh and have fun on all

Sarah:

So that's my recommendation is the great pottery throwdown. It's a feel it's like it's like hot chocolate as a show.

Mark:

Next, we have another small town situation.

Sarah:

Season ten episode two

Mark:

Which is

Sarah:

of Brokenwood is

Mark:

Day of the Dead, which is

Sarah:

Cultural insensitivity. Yeah.

Mark:

It's

Sarah:

Dios de los Mortes.

Mark:

The the Mexican festival in Brokenwood. Brokenwood. Okay.

Sarah:

That's not a pinata, that's a corpse.

Mark:

Yes. I think Todd says that.

Sarah:

I hit it a lot. No candy came out. Man. Until then, bye maniacs.

Mark:

Bye maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the mystery maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, Maniacs.

Sarah:

I'm just getting snark warmed up.

Mark:

Okay. Okay.

Sarah:

It's part of my getting ready.

Mark:

You need your snark engine.

Sarah:

Who else can I do? You know, there's nobody else here.