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This Jewish Inspiration Podcast is dedicated to learning, understanding and enhancing our relationship with Hashem by working on improving our G-d given soul traits and aspiring to reflect His holy name each and every day. The goal is for each listener to hear something inspirational with each episode that will enhance their life.
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.
All right, welcome back everybody. Welcome to the Jewish Inspiration Podcast. We are just off the heels of discussing the gate of forgetfulness where the author and the Orcha Tzadikim gives us the tools of how to overcome forgetfulness in chapter 20. Today, we're going to chapter 21, the 21st gate, and that is the gate of silence.
And we are on page 651 in the Treasure for Life edition of the Orcha Tzadikim and the Ways of the Righteous. HaShtika, Shtika is silence. Silence, HaShtika MehaDvoram, Rabbi Shimon Ben Gamliel, silence is one of the things that Rabbi Gamliel said, Kol Yomai Gadalti Ben HaChacham Meva Lomatzoti LaGuf Tov MiShtika. Says Rabbi Gamliel in the Mishnah and Ethics of Our Fathers that my entire life I grew up among the sages and I have found nothing that is better for one's self than silence.
Silence, what a powerful thing silence is. This is Ethics of Our Fathers chapter 1, Mishnah 17. And King Salmon, what does King Salmon have to say? We bring a lot of quotes from King Salmon. The smartest of all men, the wisest of all men, what did he say about silence? He says He says even a fool who keeps quiet is considered wise. What does that mean? You know what they say? They say I thought you were smart till you opened your mouth.
This is this is from King Salmon. King Salmon teaches us that even a silly person, a dumb person, when they keep their mouth shut they're considered wise. They're considered wise. As soon as you open up their mouth, he says I thought you were smart, but now I know you're not. You know, it's like that type of thing. It's like you verified. Silence is a very powerful thing, not only because of the things that someone says that may be silly. If we think for a second
sometimes people talk and that does not allow them to listen. If they just stopped talking and they listened, they would hear a totally different story. They would hear a different picture that can can enlighten them. But sometimes people don't realize the importance of staying silent and not getting into too much chatter. King Salmon teaches us When I speak, I will regret what I have said, and when I'm silent, I will not regret. You'll never regret being silent.
King Salmon says, when I speak, I will regret what I have said, and when I'm silent, I will not regret. You'll never regret being silent. You'll never regret being silent. And even if you keep your mouth shut sometimes, you'll regret talking sometimes. He says, and even if I regret silence once, so, uh-oh, I shouldn't have stayed silent, but just remember that the regret for speech will be many times. So speaking, you know, I always tell my children that they have two ears and one mouth.
That means you should be listening double what you speak. One mouth, two ears. Listen more than you speak. He says, He says, when I speak, my speech rules over me. For if I speak wrongly of another person, that speech rules over me and compels me to humble myself before him and beg for forgiveness. If I speak negatively about somebody, so I'm gonna have to ask them forgiveness. Sorry that I said that. It wasn't truthful. It wasn't honest. He was exaggerated.
I embarrassed you. Things that we say can be harmful to other people. I'm gonna have to now humble myself and beg for forgiveness, but when I do not speak, I control not saying it and concealing it. Okay, I control not saying it and concealing it. And our rabbis taught us, Two advocates stood before Hadrian, one advocating speech and the other silence. They were both going at it. Which one is better? Talking or remaining sound? So,
basically, the king said to the advocate of speech, what is your case? Tell me why do you think that speech is so good? He replied, my master, if not for speech, how could kings rule over the world, in the world? You need to speak. You need to be able to gain power, gain influence over others. How can ships set out to sea? How could the dead be shown kindness? How can the brides be praised? As the Talmud tells us,
that one of the things that we do in front of a bride, what do we do in front of a bride? We say, How beautiful, how pleasant is this bride? That's what is an argument. We discussed this previously, the argument between Shammai and Hillel, where they were talking about, what should you tell the bride? One says, You have to say that she's beautiful. The other one says, say the honest truth about her.
What do you mean? I'm going to say the honest truth? Should I say that the makeup isn't good? Should I say that her hair looks terrible? What do you mean I should say, say the way it is? So our sages teach us what the rabbis are telling us, not that you'd be brutally honest in the sense of saying the negative. Rather, you have to see the good. You have to say the essence of who she is. The essence of who she is, is really, really good.
You have to find that good and say that truth. Don't make up things. Find the essence. Find the core of their goodness, and that's what you need to praise. That's what you need to focus on. Either way, so without words, you can't do any of that. So how can you praise? How could business be conducted in the world? Hey, maso matan bolam, if not for speech. Without talking, you can't negotiate. Without talking, you can't sell items. Try to try to sell a car without talking.
What do they do? They tell you, oh, you know all the horsepower that this car has, and you know the safety features, and they talk and talk and talk. You're like, okay, okay, just write it up. Write up the contract. I just don't want to hear you talking anymore. So now he says, immediately the King Hadrian says, you've spoken well. You've given a good argument for the power of speech. And then said the advocate for silence. So now he says,
how can you espouse silence? He immediately arose to speak, whereupon the advocate of speech arose and struck him. Immediately he came to speak, and said, Osso, I will teach you how to speak, which is beautiful and sorrowful. The king asked him, why did you strike him? He replied, my master. He said, Mori, I learned from myself over myself, because I learned from the advocate of speech over the advocate of speech, and this I will teach from myself over his. He said, Osso, I
used the spoken word to promote speech. I'm using speech to explain the power of speech. He said, but he is going to use speech to promote silence. That is why I struck him. Meaning, don't use my tool to defend your case. The only way, according to this, that you should be defending silence, is by being silent. But you're standing up to use the power of speech to explain the power of silence. That's not fair. And this
came to the world from my master, therefore I struck him. He said, no, I did not strike him. The other counted, but didn't King Solomon say, Hashem did not say that one should sit in silence like a mute, but in an abundance of words, in an abundance of words, offense will not be lacking, and he who spears his lips is wise. He wrote from Leahtar Pasha, Bechos seich sefasov maskil. See, saying like this, an abundance of words,
offense is not lacking. Someone who speaks a lot, who talks a lot, they're going to hurt people, they can insult people, they're going to offend people. But he who is more cautious, someone who spears his lips, such a person is wise. Chos seich perosh, what does it mean when it says he refrains from speaking? Moneh ha-meleda-ber bechavero, is that he refrains from speaking against his friend. Not that he's silent, he talks. We have a mouth so that we should talk, but how should we talk?
We shouldn't talk against our fellow. Ve'ein lechogodo me'arenu miryam, and we have no greater lesson, no greater teacher than Aaron, the high priest, and Miriam, who was the sister of Aaron and the sister of Moses. She ha-be'er ola u'mash ki b'schus miryam. We see that there is a great reward for Miriam, that the well arose and provided drink in the merit of Miriam. Why? Ola ha-shalom. Ve'einanei ha-kavod me'kifon le'Yisrael b'schus Aaron, and we see that the clouds of glory
surrounded the Jews in the merit of Aaron, the high priest. Ve'keiven she'nosnu reshosh lefim, ve'dibru be'moshe miyad nifru. And yet they allowed their mouths to speak against Moshe, and they were immediately punished. So we see that they used speech, and they were punished immediately because they used their speech negatively. Ve'al kamo inyonim ha'shechinu mistalekes mi'Yisrael. And there are several causes that cause the departure of the presence of the Almighty, of the Shekhinah, from Israel. Chief among them is bloodshed, then idolatry, and then slander.
All right, he says, ve'al kamo inyonim ha'shechinu mistalekes mi'Yisrael ve'a chamurim be'em b'shum shvihos damim avod e'zorah ve'lo shenhorah. We see that loshenhorah, slander, speaking negatively about another person, using words that should uplift people to put people down, that is a very, very grave sin, something that we are punished severely for putting other people down. I think in general we have a terrible problem in our society, in our culture, with speech, particularly because of social media.
Because what someone would be ashamed to say to a person, to their face, they have no problem saying when they're behind a screen. When they're behind their computer monitor, or their iPad, or their phone, they can write nasty comments, they can say disgusting things, but to someone, to be in front of someone to say that, most people wouldn't do that. They have a certain dignity that they need to carry, and when it's behind a screen, they're like, they feel like they're shielded. And this is a terrible, terrible thing.
It's a terrible thing. Why? Why is it a terrible thing? It's a terrible thing because we allow ourselves to harm other people, to insult other people, to even murder other people. We see this, by the way, is for teenagers, cyberbullying is a very serious thing. Kids who take their own lives because they were insulted, they were hurt, they were embarrassed, they were shamed in public, and you know, no one would really have the audacity to do that in front of them,
but online, behind a screen, that's not a problem. I remember, this is many years ago, right at the beginning of the email age for children, when children were using email, I remember that it was brought to my attention that my son had sent an email to his classmates that was a little bit offensive to one of the kids, and it came to my attention, and I was very, very upset about it because I was afraid that this would escalate into something worse if it wasn't stopped immediately.
So I called the school, and I spoke to the principal, and I said, if you don't mind, I would like my son tomorrow to give a speech to all the kids in the school of the older grades. He has a big apology to make. What happened? And I explained it to him, and I told my son that this was unacceptable, and that I would not tolerate it, and there would be serious repercussions if he didn't properly apologize and regret what he did,
and I explained to him what the damage could be, and sure enough, the next day, I came to school, and he gave a public apology to the individual that he had, let's call it bullied, even though it wasn't, it wasn't, I saw it, it wasn't terrible, but it still was something that was hurtful, and he spoke, oh, I think it was four or five classes that were together in the assembly, and he spoke and said,
why this is not good, and why this is unacceptable, why he'll never do this again, and why nobody should do this, and this is unacceptable behavior. So I think today, you know, you see, even newspapers are willing to write murderous articles about people, because they can. The laws of Lashon Hara don't apply, the laws of slander, the laws of, I mean, the basic human decency that should be applied is gone,
because it's, because it's behind the screen, because I'm on television, sensationalism is what sells, if it bleeds, it leads, right? So we have to say something terrible about somebody, and it doesn't make a difference if they're a mayor, if they're a state representative, if they're a governor, if they're an attorney general, if they're a state senator, a U.S. senator, a congressman, a president, a vice president, a spouse of a president, right? The first lady, or, or, you know, the second lady.
It doesn't make, it doesn't make a difference who it is. It could be even the ayatollah. We have to understand, like, what's saying, like, oh, we have to, we have to be very careful about the words we use. We have to be very, very careful. We say, like, whoa, he's an evil person, so we can say whatever we want. We still have to be careful. You know, the laws of Lashon Hara are different regarding different people, meaning certain people, it's okay
to say Lashon Hara, the Chafetz Chaim says, people who are evil. People who are evil, you're allowed to speak slanderously about them. You'll have to say negative things about them. However, says the Chafetz Chaim, don't do it. He says, why? Why not? Why shouldn't I do it? Because you're going to get into a habit of speaking negatively about people, and then you're not going to distinguish between those who are evil and those who are righteous, and you're going to talk like that about everyone.
A person, in general, I think what the author here is trying to train us is to see the positive in people. See the good in mankind. Don't see the bad. Don't say the bad. Also, words can be very hurtful, can be very damaging, and a person needs to be very, very concerned that their words aren't used to hurt another person, another human being. All right, so this concludes day 112.
You've been listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe on a podcast produced by TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. Please help sponsor an episode so we can continue to produce more quality Jewish content for our listeners around the globe. Please visit torchweb.org to donate and partner with us on this incredible endeavor.