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In this episode, Dani talks about what's been going on in her life currently with all the changes we're all experiencing as the pandemic begins shifting our habits and lives, yet again. She discusses how she's been giving herself time and space, and of course kindness, to cope with all these new changes.
For links & recommendations, see full episode notes.
Dani is honest and refreshing in her takes on the world and society. Listen as she explains how she’s come to understand the world through kindness, both towards ourselves and everything else.
[0:00] Hello friends! Welcome to Understanding Kindness, a podcast hosted by me, Dani! I’m someone who’s lived some life, and has learned to approach it through learning from everything around me. What I’ve learned along the way is to be kind and understanding to ourselves and all that’s around us. So, join me as I discuss concepts through experience, learning, growth, kindness, and understanding. I approach topics with kindness towards ourselves and everything outside of ourselves, emphasizing the importance of our need for change in this world. If I can do it, you can do it, and we can do it, together. Welcome to Understanding Kindness.
[0:39] (Theme).
[0:44] Hey buds. It’s episode 27, we’re deep into the twenties now and we’re gettin’ comfy. But for real, 27 episodes, whew, feels good. Okay, so what’s our episode about today? Today I want to talk about how I’ve been doin’ lately. People are getting vaccinated, things are opening back up, and life’s changing yet again. I want to talk with you about some things that have been happening in my life and how things have been changing. I also want to talk about how I’ve been handling these changes. Well, I hope that interested you enough to keep listening. Let’s do it!
[1:26] For our Native segment today I want to highlight someone on Instagram that has taught me so much in the short period of time that I’ve been following them. Pınar, aka @QueerQuechua, is a multi species futurist, who is a trans Indigenous Quechua and Turkish person. They use their Instagram platform to educate others about Indigenous culture, trans rights, nature, reparations, and a whole host more. They also host another page on Instagram with their partner, So, called, @QueerNature where they post about their nature excursions, tracking, beauty, understanding the environment and those in it. Both pages that Pınar facilitates feature education and understanding, so you can see why I’m highlighting them here. One post on @QueerQuechua gave a brief detail of the Armenian genocide during the Turkish War on Independence. As I mentioned, Pınar is part Turkish and on the day of the remembrance of the Armenian genocide, they posted a little history of what occurred and how. As a descendant of these Turks who conducted this genocide, they are helping to bring awareness to and address the actions of their ancestors. They gave a wonderful example of how to go about owning up to the actions of your ancestors and trying to move forward in a more compassionate way. Pınar continually shows me how to be open and humble, how to educate without blaming, and how to move forward as the change. This isn’t very surprising considering they call themself a multi-species futurist. I so look forward to @QueerQuechua’s and @QueerNature’s posts. If you’d like to check them out too, I’ll be linking their accounts in the episode notes.
[3:11] {Singing} *Shooouuuuut-Ooooouuuutttttsssssss*
Hey Patrons! Thank you both so much! I can’t believe that you’re still supporting me and I really, really appreciate it.
Back to it!
[3:28] Alright so, how have you been doing lately, Dani? Hmm well, thanks for the question. I’ve been doing well lately. Things have been a bit hectic, I’ve been tired both mentally and physically, but I’ve also been enjoying so much of what’s been going on lately. I’ve been expecting less from myself in some realms and more from myself in others. I’ve been rebalancing my life and lifestyle as the seasons change and life begins taking a new shape. I’ve been embracing as much as I can and allowing myself the kindness that I would allow to anyone else. All because I took the time to understand.
[4:09] So, like I mentioned in the intro, peeps are gettin vaxxed, places are openin’ up, and things are ‘a changin’. Let me give ya a bit of background since the pandemic hit in the “US”. I was working two jobs in March of 2020. About 13 March I stopped work at both of them. One because the place closed until further notice and the other because I took a personal leave of absence. I had some time to myself as I was out of work, without pay from these jobs since both of them paid hourly. At this point I was still studying to go to graduate school, so I was spending a lot of time in the beginning of the quarantine studying for the GRE. As I became more and more bored and frustrated with this studying and I realized I wanted to start a podcast I began spending my time working that idea out instead of studying. Around this time, I ended my personal leave of absence at my one job and began holding sessions with my clients via web meetings. I did this for a while, working on the podcast and holding sessions with my clients online, my other job was still closed. After a few months of that, we were in the clear to go back to our clients’ homes to hold our sessions with masks and hand washing and sanitizer. This other job was in the healthcare field so I received my vaccine in January, which made going into work a lot less stressful. So then I was working there and on the podcast, until recently when my other job opened back up.
[5:41] This opening coincided with many other places opening back up and many people getting vaccinated here in the “US” so, this other job got busy very quickly. I began working here again and have been making more money than I was making at the healthcare job. As I’ve decided to take my life in another direction with choosing to work on this podcast, my writing, and my activism, the healthcare position wasn’t really something I needed anymore for an application or resume because I do not want to go to graduate school. So, since I was now financially able and it made more sense for me, I decided to quit my healthcare job and put most of my availability into my other job, which by the way is in the service industry.
[6:28] Another plot point that has influenced my current path is that I read a book called The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I didn’t agree with a lot of the aims of the book, but I took away from it the desire to get rid of my debt as soon as possible, stay out of debt, and be able to live the life I want to live without owing anything to anyone. So, I began on my journey of clearing my student loan debt (the only debt I’ve accumulated) which was around $40,000. I’ve stopped using credit cards because I’ve decided that I don’t want to buy on credit, I want to buy with cash if necessary and completely remove myself from the credit system of loaning and owing, but most of all I don’t want money to rule my life. I want to live as low cost as possible, creating connections and sharing with people, using what I already have, buying used when I must buy. I don’t want to be dependent on the system or owe anything to anyone.
[7:30] Since I’ve started seriously paying off my debt just under 3 months ago, I’ve paid 4 of my 14 loans off in full. I still have a lot to go, but I’ve gotten the ball rolling and there’s no stoppin’ me now! Since I’ve started living my life in a way that doesn’t rely on money in as many ways as I can, I’ve been able to put so much more of my money towards my loans so that I can pay them off even faster. Doing these things, seriously trying to eliminate my debt, changing my lifestyle, and connecting with people in beautiful ways that create stronger bonds, I’ve been happier than I have in my entire life. Of course, that feeling is due to a lot of other things happening in my life right now too.
[8:15] The service job that I currently have is very physical, so after a shift which can range from 4 hours to 9 hours I’m typically very tired. During the month or so that I’ve been doing this job again I’ve noticed that I require more sleep and rest than I was during the quarantine when the most physical thing I did was low impact yoga and walking. So, instead of needing about 6 or 7 hours of sleep, I’m finding that my body wants more like 8-9 hours of sleep, depending on what I’ve been doing the past couple days. This has been mixing up my “usual” schedule, or rather the schedule that I’ve implemented for the past few weeks to months. See, something I learned over quarantine is that I’m going to want to do some things sometimes and other things other times, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to give myself some guidelines around what I really want to do everyday, things that it would be nice if I got them done today but aren’t necessary to get done today, things that definitely don’t need to be done today but I’d like to get done somewhat soon, things that I have obligation to do today, and things that I wasn’t expecting to do today but my body/mind/day’s circumstances tell me to do today. With this, I’ve created an ever flowing, ever-changing “schedule” for myself that allows me to take care of my mental, physical, spiritual, and communal health. This is something that has really helped with that overall feeling of happiness that I’ve been experiencing.
[9:56] Learning to accept this ever-changing, morphing schedule has been a bit of a journey, but it’s turned out to help a lot. For a good chunk of the quarantine I was trying to create a schedule that I could just follow every day. Sooner or later I’d find that something would impact the schedule (ie. I slept a little longer one day, a new project came up around the house, my session got cancelled), and I’d inevitably have to switch it up or around or something. Maybe a few months ago (not sure how many exactly…time) I realized that I can create a kind of fluid, easy-flowing schedule. This really got kicked into gear when my service job opened back up. I was thrown right back into it and my schedule got thrown really out of whack. Like I mentioned, my body is physically tired much more now so I sleep more and take more naps. I also don’t have as much free time anymore because I am working now so that throws a wrench in what I can expect from myself in a day or week. On top of that, I’ve been starting a garden in our backyard which has been taking up a lot of my time.
[11:08] Turns out I’ve planted a bit early this season, but this is the first time I’m really planting a garden, and mostly doing it by myself. I’ve been very excited to be able to start this garden now that I live with Jorge and his family. I’ve been weeding, mixing soil, potting, planting, sowing, watering, arranging, and I’ve created a compost pile that I’ve been taking care of. I’ve been doing this over the past couple months and I absolutely love it. It’s been so rejuvenating to be outside with my feet on the ground and my hands in the soil. Being outside has felt so amazing lately, especially since I began utilizing this technique called grounding. I first heard about grounding from watching one of Rob Greenfield’s videos on YouTube. Basically, grounding is the practice of walking on Earth with bare feet. As we are nature, literally connecting ourselves to nature with skin contact to Earth helps heal us. It makes me happier, it boosts my mood, and the reason it works makes sense to me. Connecting with the ground and with Earth is part of my rejuvenation and mental, physical, and spiritual care.
[12:23] When I’m tired, either physically or mentally, going outside to connect with nature in some way always helps me. I’ve been taking time, not just to garden, but to go for walks in forests near me, visit the beach near me, or just go in the backyard and lay in the grass with Ghost. I’ve found that I need a lot of this time to help bring my levels back up to their homeostasis recently with all these changes happening in my life, and that’s okay. I’ve learned that taking this time for myself, for my body and my mental health, for my spiritual and communal health, is beneficial for me and everyone around me. My happiness and well-being is spreading to those around me and giving them ideas about how to improve their own happiness and well-being. I am by no means saying that my way of rejuvenating and allowing myself time and space to heal is how you have to do it too. I just want to show that when you do allow yourself that time, it can help to improve not just your overall well-being, but that of those who you love too.
[13:30] And that leads me to my last bit of plot taking root in my life right now. Since people here in the “US” are getting vaccinated, there’s been a grand move to reconnect with everyone who you haven’t been able to see in over a year. This includes most of my friends and family members. I couldn’t be more over-joyed at the fact that I can see people I haven’t seen in over a year! It’s been a long time, and I realize how fortunate those of us who’ve gotten the vaccine are. I’m using this grand reconnection as a time to reconnect with those who I may have been lacking to connect with. For me, this includes a lot of my family members. I’ve got a big extended family, my parents have 12 siblings between them, and I’ve got about 27 cousins that I haven’t kept up much with. Granted, many of them have families of their own now so it’s just more difficult to gather in general, but I still want to nurture some of those connections and with many of us getting the vaccine, I’m striving to connect with those family members. This isn’t even including my own siblings, who each have families of their own as well. I’m striving to reconnect with them all too. This takes a lot of time and planning, which takes a lot of energy. It’s exhausting sometimes. I went from seeing very few people outside of my home, to making plans to see multiple friends or family during the week. That takes a lot out of me. This too requires that I rest my body and mind more, and I’m giving myself that time because I know that it will not only help myself, but spread to those I care about as well.
[15:16] We’re all in different situations and those situations shift and change all the time. We need to embrace those changes and allow ourselves the kindness that we’d allow anyone else. Take care of yourself, show those around you that it is important to care for yourself no matter what that looks like for you; show how much happiness it can bring you. Embrace the changes that are natural with life and learn how to flow with them. There was a lot of trial and error that went into figuring out my ever-shifting schedule, it took a lot of time until I really figured out what was a priority and what could sit on the wayside for a bit. So that’s gonna be different for everyone. Yours will be different from mine. As I’ve learned that it’s ever-changing I’ve been able to allow myself the time that I need, and still get everything done I wanted to get done. Allowing myself time and giving myself kindness during all these changes has made me happier and, in actuality, I’ve gotten more done than I would’ve before I really understood this. A lot is happening right now, and a lot will continue to happen for forever, so we need to learn and understand how to give ourselves the same kindness that we would allow anyone else. Give your body time to rest, give your mind time to rest, and give your spirit time to heal, every day. It’ll be worth it, trust me.
[16:46] {Singing} *Recommendaaaationsssss*
My first recommendation today is The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. If you’d like some inspiration and tips on getting rid of debt quickly, check this one out!
Next, there’s Rob Greenfield’s video titled “Why I Almost Never Wear Shoes – The Many Benefits of Walking Barefoot”. For some info on grounding and it’s benefits, give this video a watch!
And lastly, we’ve got @QueerQuechua and @QueerNature on Instagram. These two pages are inspirational, educational, and inviting. Give them a follow to learn more about Indigenous rights and sovereignty, trans rights, nature, history, and much more!
Links to all of these will be in the episode notes!
[17:38] If you enjoyed this episode, help support the podcast! All this content is free and I’d love to make it my job one day, so if you’re financially able join our patreon or send a one-time or recurring donation through paypal! You can also share an episode with family or friends, and give UK a kind rating and review!
Check out UnderstandingKindness.com for all episodes, transcripts, and blog posts. And why not take a listen to my other podcast, Better When Awkward, co-hosted by my childhood best friend Jasmine!
Get in touch with me by emailing UnderstandingKindness@protonmail.com, or through social media. You can find all links in the episode notes.
For now, be kind, be compassionate, be understanding, and question everything. I’ll be here. Thank you for listening to this episode of Understanding Kindness. [End transcript]