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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
I think my opinion is that every single woman is a force of nature that wants to be unleashed in her lifetime. And I see this as possible. I know shit looks really, like, dark at the Momo, but I really see that it is a time that the feminine is being called on.
Kate Northrup:I'm so excited to introduce you to today's guest. Perhaps you already know her. Her name is Regina Thomas Hauer, otherwise known as Mama Gina. She's the New York Times bestselling author of Pussy, A Reclamation, and I met her when I was 22. And I rolled up in the living room of her brownstone to take a class that she taught in her living room at the time called Mama Gina's School of Womanly Parts.
Kate Northrup:And this woman absolutely changed my life. She changed my relationship with my body, my relationship with men, my relationship with pleasure and sensuality, and my aliveness. And I would not be the woman I am today without Regina. She helped us heal a legacy of suppression, I would say, in my maternal lineage of suppression of our life force energy, and my daughters are having a better experience of being girls in this world because of Regina. Her work has been featured on the Today Show, by The New York Times, by Allure Magazine.
Kate Northrup:She used to run an incredible program called Mastery where she would teach over up to 2,500 women at the Javits Center in New York City. She is a pioneer, a world changer. She's hysterical. She is a surrogate mother to me. I cried basically through the entire episode.
Kate Northrup:She's a surrogate bubby to my girls, and I'm so excited for you get to get to know and love mama Gina as much as I do. Welcome to Plenty. I'm your host Kate Northrup and together we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy. And to have abundance on every possible level. Every week, we're gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty.
Kate Northrup:Let's go fill our cups. Please note that the opinions and perspectives of the guests on the Plenty podcast are not necessarily reflective of the opinions and perspectives of Kate Northrop or anyone who works within the Kate Northrop brand.
Regena Thomashauer:Thanks for being here. Happy to be here. This feels like a date with destiny. It was worth waiting for. So fun.
Regena Thomashauer:Yes.
Kate Northrup:I'm so excited to get to
Regena Thomashauer:Probe. Probe.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:Probe is called probing the queen. Okay.
Kate Northrup:First of all, I wanna start off with you know this, but I would not be the woman I am today without you. And I just wanna say thanks.
Regena Thomashauer:I can't even tell you how much that means to me and what and it an honor it's been to know and love you since what you were
Kate Northrup:22.
Regena Thomashauer:22. Twenty years. And your sister and your mama and just, like, the impact of that whole magnificent, crazy mother daughter ride. You're stepping gently into womanhood from girlhood into womanhood, into marriage, into motherhood. And now I know your little girls, and we love each other so much that they even wanted me to come for dinner last night, and I'm so grateful I'm gonna see them on Sunday.
Regena Thomashauer:Like, it's it's almost the beauty of life sometimes is nearly it's not intolerable. It's something like that. Like, it's, it's difficult to hold in its majesty and wonder. And let's say you are somebody who always puts me in that place and reminds me of that place because because we have loved each other a long time. We really have.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So when I was 22
Regena Thomashauer:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And I showed up at your Brownstone for Mama Gina one zero one.
Regena Thomashauer:What was it called back then? It was just called Mama Gina School of Womanly Arts. Called Mama Gina School of
Kate Northrup:Womanly Arts. Okay. Great. So I
Regena Thomashauer:He used that nickname was Mama one zero one. Mama one zero one.
Kate Northrup:I took it in your living room, and I was 22. I was very freshly graduated from college. Yes. Brown. From
Regena Thomashauer:Brown. Yeah. She went to Brown. Brown. Thanks.
Kate Northrup:Such a proud mama. And I had read this book called The Rules when I was Oh, I remember this.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. I remember you and The Rules. I had
Kate Northrup:read this book called The Rules when I was 14. Whatever. All writing is fine and I believe in freedom of speech. That book did not do me any favors. No.
Kate Northrup:I went through high school and college
Regena Thomashauer:Oh god.
Kate Northrup:Believing
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:That it was desperate and slutty to give any man, or any human, an indication that I might be interested in them. And as a result, you can imagine
Regena Thomashauer:that I had a lot
Kate Northrup:of time to build my business, which I'm grateful for. But it wasn't until I started to be in your world that I was like, wait a second. It's okay to wink at a stranger across a room? Yeah. It's and so I just you know, you've impacted me so much in my in my work, in my whatever, but just like the permission to be a desirous woman
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Is so huge, and it really changed my life. And I would not be married to Mike if it weren't for you, and, you know, and and then it's gonna live on in my girls. So Yay. Just know that at least in our family, the work lives on forever. Yay.
Kate Northrup:Yay. Yay.
Regena Thomashauer:Women around the world. Yay. Yay. Thank you. Thank you.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. And then you learned kinda like, okay, I make my own rules. Well, my pussy makes the rules, and then I follow the rules. I surrender and I obey.
Kate Northrup:Well, you know, for you, so you wrote this New York Times bestselling book called Pussy, which is Friend. A revolution in itself. Yes. Why and when did you start using the word pussy?
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. It was a research project because I ultimately, you know, people think I don't know what people think. They think I just lie around and have sex all day or and take baths and eat chocolate or something like that. That's what being the pleasure queen is. It's not really like that, but mostly what they don't know is I'm basically a nerd of a a let's call it, ancient culture, indigenous traditions.
Regena Thomashauer:I'm I'm a deep observer of the nature of the feminine based on my own research and my own studies of orgasm and the years of learning about my own body and etcetera. So when I first started the School of Womanly Arts, I I didn't exactly know what to call. Women would come to me and they would be like, oh, this is my hooch. This is my down there. This is my front bottom.
Regena Thomashauer:This is or maybe this is nothing or maybe vagina or maybe pancake or
Kate Northrup:Growing up, it was called patootie at my house.
Regena Thomashauer:Patootie. Okay. Patootie. That's hysterical. Gynecologist.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Okay. So now that's it was intriguing to me because I thought what divisive conditioning is that that women don't even have in common the name of that which is most essentially feminine about ourselves, the heart of our womanhood, and we can't even agree on a term. So I thought, well, what what happens? So when I would hear from the vagina people, and they they would be like, I have a vagina.
Regena Thomashauer:I have a vagina. And then that we hear from the nothing people or from the coochie or the so forth. The only place is when I would hear a woman using the word pussy, she would light up, like, a firework. Instantly. I do not know why it brought so much joy.
Regena Thomashauer:I cannot tell you. It was almost like she knew she was being naughty Yeah. Conspiratorial. She knew she was in some way liberating herself by taking back a word that had been used pejoratively, either against her or inside of her life, for her entire life, or, you know, where let's say when somebody's accusing her or a man of being a pussy, that is one of the highest strikes against him or her. So she was, like, doing this little act of reclamation in just saying the word, and I thought, alright.
Regena Thomashauer:Great pussy in the sky. Pussy it is. Pussy it is. Pussy now. Pussy forever.
Regena Thomashauer:And I was so scared when the School of Womanly Arts came out because it said pussy in the third chapter. Ah. And I thought, people will detect this, and they will come after me. Yeah. It was fine.
Kate Northrup:And then cut to you, what, fifteen years later writing a book called Pussy.
Regena Thomashauer:It was always the plan.
Kate Northrup:Because we grow and we evolve.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Was always like the plan, but I knew that the culture wasn't ready for it No. At that time, and that I had to wave around a bunch of pink feathers and boas. Like, literally, I got to the Standard Hotel a few days ago, and Crispie, the concierge, love her. She's been there for fifteen years, I would say.
Kate Northrup:Incredible.
Regena Thomashauer:She says, I looked around for the pink boas. I couldn't find them. It's like, I can't even believe you still have some. Room.
Kate Northrup:Right. Because you used to host events
Regena Thomashauer:at the standard. I did. And everybody knew who I was or who the school was because of the pink bowels.
Kate Northrup:Were coming.
Regena Thomashauer:So it was sort of a way to penetrate the culture gently with the enlivening joyful space of the feminine without offending anyone.
Kate Northrup:And what you do so brilliantly and you taught me how to do, it's it's one of the foundational aspects of your work, is appreciation. Yeah. And that we can open Mhmm. Maybe not any door, but most. Many.
Kate Northrup:Many doors. We can open many doors with appreciation and approval. Mhmm. Can you talk to me about that? Because it is unbelievable still to this day Yeah.
Kate Northrup:The level of disapproval in women of themselves, of the world, of their men, of their women, of their humans, of their mothers, of their fathers, of everything. Yeah. Like, disapproval is like an addiction. Why is that, and and and what's the antidote?
Regena Thomashauer:I I would call it more than an addiction. I would call it a deliberate conspiracy of the patriarchal world's culture to disempower the feminine such that she feels outcast, outsider, voiceless, disempowered, disconnected from her body, disconnected from her sensual aliveness, disconnected from her sisterhood, disconnected from her beauty, and deeply disconnected from her own power. And that results in women spending vast amounts of money inside our capitalistic culture to try to feel right about themselves. You know, women are buying things on Amazon every second to make them look younger or tighter or have hair of a different color or feel more alive or products to thin their thighs or flatten their belly or all the things we do and have done and will continue to do because we never feel right. We never feel that approval and appreciation that is our birthright that we can only access through pleasure.
Regena Thomashauer:But when a woman is cut off from her pussy, which our culture teaches us really from the moment we we're we even when we're still in diapers, what replaces connection and wholeness is a sense of shame. I mean, if she can't even say the goddamn motherfucking word vulva, which by the way is the term that if you're a mom, please teach that to your little girl.
Kate Northrup:Vulva is
Regena Thomashauer:what we do with in our house. Don't teach your post don't teach your little girl pussy. That is incorrect. It's vulva. Vulva.
Regena Thomashauer:Vulva. Vulva. But let's say if she never feels as proud or accepting of her vulva as she does of her forehead, her life is hosed.
Kate Northrup:You know, this was very powerful when I was 22. However, I will tell you, having a six year old and a nine year old, especially, like, my nine year old on the precipice of coming into preteen and just knowing what happens.
Regena Thomashauer:And
Kate Northrup:it has changed my relationship with my own body and myself to be able to know that whatever I am not only saying around them, but feeling around them, they will pick up.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. For better or for worse. Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:And it's an interesting question because moms will always come and take my classes whether it's virtual pleasure boot camp or GPS or my mastermind or teacher training. And they're always the first question is, or grandma, how can I teach my daughter to love herself? And the only answer is you gotta learn the way yourself.
Kate Northrup:You gotta love yourself.
Regena Thomashauer:Because we don't realize that we're living inside sort of an epidemic. Like, there's a silent, virulent condition that women spread without knowing it. We spread the condition of self hate if we hate ourselves. Self doubt if we doubt ourselves. Self, deprecation if we deprecate.
Regena Thomashauer:Like, we are in control of the messaging that we give to the girls of today who will be the women of tomorrow by the way we treat ourselves. And it's invisible because almost every woman that you encounter is living some level of victimization thinking she oh, everyone has a better job than her, a better social life than her, a better amount amount of money than she has. Like, we are always in a comparison and finding ourselves short. And so when that happens, we're teaching our little girls and our little boys that message. And so I've been that's why I've been shaking my, you know, pom poms on the Pleasure Highway for all these years.
Kate Northrup:And it's not for the faint of heart. No. So we're living in a time, you know, of course, I don't know what's gonna be happening in the world when this episode comes out, but Yeah. I cannot imagine We're suddenly
Regena Thomashauer:not more calm than it is right now.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. I cannot imagine suddenly everything will be fixed. Yeah. How do you, as the queen of pleasure, as a pleasure revolutionary who's had so much practice in approval, in finding your pleasure in any situation, what does one do in a time like right now or really any time when there are unbelievable atrocities going on in the world, when there are things that we cannot stand for, like, how is pleasure part of the equation? One simple,
Regena Thomashauer:not simple, simple, so hard way. Choose your aliveness no matter what. Choose your erotic connection, that sensual fire that burns within, that life force that streams through you, that comes from the sun, that comes from the plants.
Kate Northrup:Even if they're fake?
Regena Thomashauer:Maybe not these plants. No. No. But the pregnant belly cast. But that one.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Like like the aliveness that is always everywhere that we can choose to tap into. Why? Because when there is that sense of aliveness, you can't be trounced by doubt, depression, or what the wider culture wishes for us all to be scared, disconnected, and disempowered. If we have that inner sense of our own, just the simple joy of the gift of life, which is so immeasurable, you cannot you cannot pay back the privilege of one second of life.
Regena Thomashauer:There is it's impossible. It's just so, like, just out of control, magically blissful, absolutely so such a deep profound privilege even one breath. So if we can connect to that, then that means we're connected to ourselves, and we can connect to other human beings. And when there's aliveness within, connection without, anything is possible. Transitions for the miraculous can happen in a microsecond.
Regena Thomashauer:We've seen it time and time again. So even without knowing what is possible, how we can possibly transform what is happening now is not important. The important thing is to keep tending that fire within and keep seeing sister when you look at in another woman's eyes and brother when you look at a man's eyes. And through that connection, miracles can take place. They always have.
Regena Thomashauer:Yes. There have been wars that have seemed endless and insurmountable, and they always end. So we're in the middle of it right now, but aliveness is the way through. Aliveness is the way through.
Kate Northrup:So I met you as mama Gina. And then I have had the absolute pleasure and privilege to really know Regina. Yes. Especially more in the recent years, and I'm so grateful for that.
Regena Thomashauer:Thank
Kate Northrup:you. And I'm curious if you can talk about who Mama Gina is and why she came about so that you could steward this work?
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Basically, the experience of my work was, you know, kind of an inward journey as I know yours was as well. You know, let's say those hard won lessons are the lessons that are then ours to hold space for in the world if that is our calling and, and what a privilege that is and what oh, you know, it's it the price of living your truth, your calling, your dharma, whatever, is the greatest adventure and not an easy path. But I don't think life is easy. I think it's magnificent obstacles for us to keep building our motherfucking muscles over and over again.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:So I recognized, you know, I've since I was a little girl and I had a experience of the goddess coming to me as a child, I've always been interested like, woah. What is that? And why? And and where is she from? Where did she live?
Regena Thomashauer:Where does she belong? And then I, as I grew up and realized like, oh, absolutely no one prays to her. They don't think much of her. They just pray to men, basically. So I thought, okay.
Regena Thomashauer:Let me see if I can do my part to bring her forward because I think she's at least as important as the divine masculine. And so I recognized that it was through pleasure because of my own training in orgasm through my work at Lafayette Morehouse. I I learned, how to have an extended massive orgasm. I learned to demonstrate extended massive orgasm, be certified. So I really took a deep dive.
Regena Thomashauer:You know, I went from like a celibate hermit into the deep end of exploring pleasure. And I recognized women absolutely have no clue about the importance of pleasure. It's so crazy because we have an organ on our body, eight or 10,000 orga or or, nerve endings dedicated to pleasure, but we don't activate a single one. We think other people are supposed to activate our pleasure for us. It's like one of the worst hypnotic trances of the earth.
Regena Thomashauer:But so I thought, oh, damn. I had the gift of awakening. I must awaken others. Okay. But I'm just a shy, introverted, hippie chick.
Regena Thomashauer:How am I gonna do this? And then I had my daughter Maggie, and I thought, oh, no. I really have to do this because I felt like, you know, when you have a baby, you feel, I thank you ancestresses, and how do I pad the way in the world for this little being? Like, how do I make the world a place that can handle who and what a little girl is or a woman is? And I thought, okay.
Regena Thomashauer:That's I have to do that. And I thought, alright. I've just became a mama. Alright. I know.
Regena Thomashauer:I'll start the school of womanly arts, and I'll be mama Gina. And then I don't have to be shy and introverted. I'll be mama Gina.
Kate Northrup:Because you kind of are shy and introverted.
Regena Thomashauer:No. Totally. Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:But, like, I've witnessed you in Yeah. Many social situations where
Regena Thomashauer:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:It's it's another face of the goddess. Yeah. Totally. Face of the goddess. Thank you.
Kate Northrup:Birthed Maggie Yes. And Mama Gina right around the same time came to
Regena Thomashauer:steward this To the rescue.
Kate Northrup:Into the world so that you could embody this other version of you. Yeah. Yeah. And More fearlessly or courageously. How would you describe it?
Regena Thomashauer:I What was the would say she was kind of like a cross between anti maim, Marie Curie. Mhmm. She was had a little bit of I got inspired by, like, the prime of miss Jean Brody and girls school and all that kind of thing. And the courtesans, of course. The courtesans were so impactful.
Regena Thomashauer:So just it just and I and I didn't know who she was really or what she wore or anything about her. And I had a friend. We kept going to thrift shops that had zero money, but we found a pair of pink silk pajamas. Oh, yeah. And a pink fan, which I wore steadfastly more or less till it completely wore to shreds for many years because it was the only thing I could be mom and Gina.
Regena Thomashauer:And then I put a bow on that felt better. And so, basically, the, persona got built that enabled me to open doors, for others because, it's a lot to take on the most outcast, disparaged aspect of the feminine all by yourself and bring her back to life. And, I was a little bit afraid. You know, I was a baby, and I thought, well, how will I wave the pussy flag and go to PTA meetings or seemed like a little difficult, but Mama Gina was to the rescue. Mama helped me.
Regena Thomashauer:She helped me Yeah. Pull it
Kate Northrup:So then beyond the brownstone, then came mastery, and then came doing this work for hundreds of women in massive Yeah. I mean, that didn't happen overnight. But Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:That Yeah. Like, literally, I I would say through my books, it's probably hundreds of thousands of And then through actually people that I have taught, at least 80,000. Yeah. Easily more. Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:Right. 80,000 that you tell us.
Kate Northrup:Then and then the people who are in your yeah. So the other day, just wanna tell you this funny little story because, like, it's an example of how this work works and how the goddess is ushering it all. So I was doing a case study interview with someone who had been through my program, a lax money, and asking her how she heard about the program or whatever. Apparently, she had seen something come across her feed on Instagram about it, and then she saw me post a in my free workshop,
Regena Thomashauer:a
Kate Northrup:photo. I had on a slide a photo of my apartment in New York City, and she saw in the background No. My pole and a pink feather. No. And she was like, oh, that is a sister goddess.
Kate Northrup:I can trust her.
Regena Thomashauer:Damn. And so
Kate Northrup:she signed up.
Regena Thomashauer:Damn. Isn't that cool? So it's like this
Kate Northrup:anyway, was just like a anyway, so you then what was the biggest room that you were sharing this work with live? How many women at a time in person when you were doing mastery, or it
Regena Thomashauer:was large. Started, like, with 10 women in my living room, and
Kate Northrup:then Which is I was part of that
Regena Thomashauer:last
Kate Northrup:round.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. The probably the largest venue would be Javits Center, which is, like, 2,500 women. Holy shit. Yeah. And here's the crazy part.
Regena Thomashauer:As it scaled and got bigger, it was just as intimate.
Kate Northrup:Yes. It was. I mean, I wasn't at the Javits Center, but I was in those, like, multiple hundreds of people. Yeah. The magic I took mastery five times.
Regena Thomashauer:Great. Good. Smart.
Kate Northrup:Because Yeah. The magic of being in that room, it felt so
Regena Thomashauer:It's hard
Kate Northrup:to describe, but it was intoxicating in the best way the transformation that I would witness when I never said a thing. I just couldn't get
Regena Thomashauer:enough. Yeah. God, Yeah. Felt good. You neither could not get enough of that.
Kate Northrup:And so you decided it you were told, you were guided, GPS told you in 2019 Yeah. That it was the last year. Yeah. Mhmm. And you closed mastery.
Kate Northrup:Yes. Why did you do that?
Regena Thomashauer:Okay. First of all, I would never have stopped to be able to have that gift of holding hands with a great pussy in the sky and just unleashing the most astonishing magic, joy, heartbreak, devastation, celebration, like, by the floodgates were opened. Like, it was like nothing else. Like nothing else. And it was an intense, intimate co creation between every single woman in those rooms, the space I held, and that which is greater than me, like, a fucking party that all beings had been denied for thousands and thousands of years.
Regena Thomashauer:And that like, it was like a rock concert for the gods and goddesses that we all got to party at until we dropped. And I would never ever have stopped, except literally it
Kate Northrup:was killing me. Like you were getting physically sick? What was happening?
Regena Thomashauer:It was more it was more like this. My staff, you know, my team was like dream. So we we're we're together for so many years. And so they pulled me aside, like, a year before mastery ended, and they were they're like, Regina, this is literally killing us. We don't have time for our children, our partners.
Regena Thomashauer:We adore you. We adore this. We can't go on. And so I just listened to them, and I looked at their lives. And because whole put holding open this portal is a big thing because you are saying yes to everything that the wider culture says no to.
Regena Thomashauer:To every drop, what has been raped, pillaged, defiled, decimated, destroyed Silenced. Violent. Look. That aspect of the feminine that's held in her body, held in her sensuality, held in her pussy. So when you hold open and say, yes, it is your time.
Regena Thomashauer:It is your time to emerge. And as soon as you open that aspect of the feminine to pleasure, what immediately crashes through is all the places she's been destroyed and violated and devastated, not just in her lifetime, but in all the lifetimes of the mothers, the grandmothers, the great grandmothers, women who could not speak on their own behalf, women who could not stand for themselves, women who don't have the freedoms that we have now. So we were dealing with generational trauma, ancestral trauma, like and I was saying, bring it, motherfuckers. Like, bring it. You have home here.
Regena Thomashauer:We got this. But it was for example, in my final season of mastery, I had booked a cathedral on Park Avenue for the entire season. I felt like I was mending the hole in the soul of the patriarchy single handedly bridging because they had said to me, we think your work heals families. Have the cathedral for the whole season. I was ecstatic.
Regena Thomashauer:I thought this proves that my life has meant something, that there has been some repair. And we got thrown out the very first weekend we delivered mastery. Thrown out. A thousand women during bar mitzvah and wedding season and graduation season in New York City with no venue. And so my team for years now this is going on, I don't know, twenty years, had to deal with things like that.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Deal with the accusations that venues made because they didn't it wasn't had nothing to do with us. They actually loved us. But it would be things like, well, we think you've put pussy juice on the seats of our arts performing arts center and perhaps the walls. So there'll be a special cleaning fee.
Regena Thomashauer:And you need to cover the furniture in plastic for each session from here forward because they heard there was some nudity in the room. So, you know, it's like crazy how triggered not just people in the room were, but the people the beautiful, gorgeous people that were hosting us had challenges that then my team would have to mitigate between the sessions, which, you know, I'm a badass. I kinda loved it all in a certain kind of way. I'm like, okay. Here we go again.
Regena Thomashauer:Alright. What do we what do we need to create? What do we need to do here? You know, how do we rise? Because she never gives us challenges that we can't rise to.
Regena Thomashauer:But it was actually exhausting. And we were doing you know, it was like running a full on Broadway show for twenty years.
Kate Northrup:It was the greatest show on Earth.
Regena Thomashauer:The greatest show on Earth. By far. By far. There's no comparison. So we though when they told me they could not go on and also at that time, my daughter was struggling with an eating disorder.
Regena Thomashauer:I have her permission to speak about that. I had no time for a relationship because it was too consuming, and I wouldn't have traded it for a boyfriend. It was so exciting and delightful, but it was I it was clear to me that the great pussy in the sky, the universe, the forces that are bigger than us, was saying time. Time. It's time.
Regena Thomashauer:So, I stopped.
Kate Northrup:Right right on time for the world to shut down. I guess so. Because you wouldn't have been able to hold live events. Oh, listen. Long ass time.
Regena Thomashauer:Saved me, like, millions because Uh-huh. Nobody knew Nobody knew was coming. Or what was coming. She literally saved my life. But I, I would say, it's very hard to recover from that gift and that identity.
Kate Northrup:And I wanna know you know, so here we are. It's actually six years after, maybe five and a half years after your final mastery.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. I don't
Kate Northrup:know if it was spring or fall,
Regena Thomashauer:but Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Like, how's it going now? What are you doing? I I mean, I know, but I want people to know, like, what what are some of those pieces you've been walking through?
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. First, my daughter's recovery, which has been unbelievable. She is the most remarkable, brave, courageous, gorgeous, extraordinary human being and is, like, ex she explodes my heart with gratitude and joy and appreciation of her every single day. I'm, like, teary like, my people have a word, Yeah. I love that word.
Regena Thomashauer:She holds me in my So every time I talk to her, I'm like Yeah. Oh my god. You're amazing. You're a miracle. Okay.
Regena Thomashauer:And then I have had the privilege of love, of receiving the love of a beautiful, healthy, sexy king of a man that Stable. Strong. Smart. Stable. Funny.
Regena Thomashauer:Love funny. Brilliant. Just all the things. Loves me so much, just, like, cherishes me. I could not have had that while all that other was going on.
Regena Thomashauer:And he came into my life almost like, here, let me just really gently escort you down from the pedestal. Must be lonely up there. Come come down. Let's go for a walk. Let's see what the world is like.
Kate Northrup:2019.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Yeah. I met him when was Trump elected the first time? 2016. That's when I met him.
Kate Northrup:Oh, you met him in 2016. Okay. Yes.
Regena Thomashauer:Is when it happened. And so he was there. He got to see it all and stand with me and for me while all of it transitioned. So
Kate Northrup:So he did know mama Gina?
Regena Thomashauer:Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He met her. He knows her very well. Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:He prefers Regina. And he always did.
Kate Northrup:Well, luckily.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Luckily. Right? Because not everyone always did. A lot of people really preferred Mama Gina.
Regena Thomashauer:Sure. She was very charming all the time.
Kate Northrup:She's quite charismatic, but same as Regina.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. So he and he always was really clear about that, and it used to teach me. Like, it it actually it taught me like maybe there is something there in the Regina field. Like because I thought it was just all about mama Jean. I was like, Regina, really?
Regena Thomashauer:Like, you like her? What? You know? But now I've learned to like her Mhmm. More and more and more through him.
Regena Thomashauer:I'm so lucky to have him. I never had anybody you know, like many women in our culture, I had incredible domestic violence growing up. So I never felt cherished. Yeah. But I I have lived to feel that.
Regena Thomashauer:And I I want that for everyone who wants it. Yeah. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:What did it take in you to be able to receive that
Regena Thomashauer:and open your heart? MDMA?
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Great. To learn how to surrender, you know, because I've had a lot of PTSD from my childhood. And even with all the years of work, it wasn't until I had an experience of MDMA with Peter, where I was like, oh, this is what it's like when the shields come down. And my heart gets to open.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. And I get to see you. Yeah. And I get to receive you and all the love that you and all the love that I've always had for you that I never was able to express. Like, that I had so many walls up.
Regena Thomashauer:I never knew how to bring them down. So yay. Do
Kate Northrup:Do you think that work has rewired you to be able to access that patterning even when you are on a regular Tuesday drinking coffee? Yeah. Totally.
Regena Thomashauer:It changed me. It changed me, but there's, like, a next step of surrender, which is the part of the title of my next book. It's the most important word in the title. Just haven't fair figured out where it goes, the beginning or the middle of it. Anyway, the surrender, right, is really it's not about surrendering to the man, although it is that as well.
Regena Thomashauer:It's about surrendering to the holy or the sacred that he holds or that life holds at every moment that we are normally blind to. And it's about a willingness to go back to that question or that observation you brought up to the deep appreciation of the privilege of almost, like, seeing the holy everywhere. Yes. And especially when he's an utter asshole, when he's, like, rattling around the refrigerator too long, when he's, you know, feeling weak or hurt or retracted into his little boy state, like to see the king in him and the god in him. And I can only do that when I stand in my sacred impenetrable spot of my own surrender, of my own practice of pleasure, my own discipline.
Regena Thomashauer:And so that muscle is getting stronger, but I still, like, it's so hard. It's so hard.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. What is the sacred impenetrable spot? It's a part of
Regena Thomashauer:the feminine, kind of like this eternal flame that never goes out, but that we lose connection with. But when you connect with your sensuality, when you connect with your erotic ding, you're like, oh, that motherfucking flame is lit. And it's always been there. But it's where women go the most rigid or go the most unconscious is connecting with their sensuality. And, it's something that we have collectively ignored for so long.
Regena Thomashauer:And remembering it feels it almost pisses a woman off. What? You want me to be turned on now? Like, fuck now.
Kate Northrup:Right. No. Like, I'm going through a divorce. Yeah. I have a sick child.
Kate Northrup:Uh-huh. My house just burned down. How the fuck could turn on help me?
Regena Thomashauer:Exactly. And then they get resistant and rigid. And you're so good at that.
Kate Northrup:It's like terrifying to watch but so scintillating at the same time.
Regena Thomashauer:Absolutely. Absolutely. It's a journey that we all have to take if we want to have lives we love. If we wanna have mediocre lives, you know, just, like, ignore your sensuality. Be just, like, be there in you know, be shut down.
Regena Thomashauer:Be depressed. Like, just like and have a great mediocre life. But if you want to have an ecstatic and exceptional life filled with miraculous adventures and devastations, then you connect with your sacred impenetrable spot. Boo boom.
Kate Northrup:So I wanna connect the dots in case anybody isn't, like, fully grasping. What Regina is talking about is that our pleasure, our sensuality, our turn on Yeah. Is actual life force. Like, that is the divine spark. That is the animating force that is the reason we are alive.
Kate Northrup:It is where babies come from. It is where creativity comes from. Mhmm. It is it is it. Yes.
Kate Northrup:With a capital I.
Regena Thomashauer:Yes.
Kate Northrup:And so this isn't about, like, it's not
Regena Thomashauer:dot on the I. With the dot. A little special dot At the top. On the top.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. It's not frivolous. Like, it's actually the most revolutionary power we have because it is our Exactly. Power. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So tell me about an example of surrender when you're cranky, when your man is not standing in his consciousness of his king energy, when things are annoying you, when you're just like, I'm crusty and dry and prickly and shut down. Like, in that moment, it literally feels like finding pleasure and approval is like, oh, yeah, great. I'm just going to hop on a rocket to another solar system right now. Like, feels so unavailable.
Regena Thomashauer:True. Do we do? Well, first of all, grabbing a copy of anything that Mama Gina wrote will be an instant reminder whether it's the School of Woman of the Arts, whether it's Pussy, any one of my books. Just like finding me somewhere on Instagram because my transmission is rather high.
Kate Northrup:It is. And your Instagram is super fun.
Regena Thomashauer:Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I wanna say that this is not work that is easy when a woman is on her own. A woman alone is truly a self destructive mechanism. She will It's so true.
Regena Thomashauer:She will destroy her own turn on, and she will go down in a ball of flames feeling Yeah. Right about
Kate Northrup:Feeling right about it.
Regena Thomashauer:Like fuck you all. Pissed and raped. See? See? See how I it sucks for me right now.
Regena Thomashauer:Let me show you. You know? But inside of a community, which is why all of my courses are created around community. That is where we can breathe life into one another. Like, if you call a sister goddess, if you text a sister goddess, if you create a little sister goddess bragging circle or pussy reclamation circle.
Regena Thomashauer:If you have women who will are willing to practice, who know you are more than the victim you have painted across your face right now. You are more than whatever devastation of circumstances in which you find yourself. Like, to have a woman reflect your light instead of your darkness is the way we're gonna change the world. It doesn't take long. It's just instantaneously what that like, you can recreate it instead of a, virulent condition of turn off, you can create a virulent condition of turn on, and that's what you felt in the mastery rooms.
Kate Northrup:And it is contagious. And I'll tell you, so we went to dinner the other night Yep. And with a remarkable group of women.
Regena Thomashauer:Yep.
Kate Northrup:And I heard from one of them later on that purely being there in that energy changed her entire state of being.
Regena Thomashauer:Mhmm. Was it the woman sitting to my right? My left? Uh-huh.
Kate Northrup:Yes. And within twenty four hours Yeah. She was taking different action steps Yeah. Behind the scenes in her life. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And we have been hosting those dinners, and they're always wonderful. Yeah. However, there because you were there Yeah. There was a because of who you are and also what you ignite in me, There was this energy that it just like, she didn't have to do steps or, like, work on mindset or change her thoughts or, like, do not to say that that stuff isn't valuable. You know, I teach that stuff.
Kate Northrup:But, like, it just changes you
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:The end automatically. Yeah. Because it's just contagious.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And and then she was different. Yeah. Instantly.
Regena Thomashauer:Mhmm. Mhmm. And Here's the thing is, it won't last. Right. She needs to get in one of my courses.
Kate Northrup:Exactly. You need to stay Can she come into the work.
Regena Thomashauer:The mastermind that's Maybe. Starting soon? Maybe. She should hit me up because that I only have, like, six seats left in it. Okay.
Regena Thomashauer:Great. But, but there's something huge coming in the fall that's gonna be super fun and accessible too. So I'll
Kate Northrup:get her.
Regena Thomashauer:Get her because she's a Well, I think my opinion is that every single woman is a force of nature that wants to be unleashed in her lifetime. And I I see this as possible. I know shit looks really like dark at the Momo, but I really see that it is a time that the feminine is being called on. It called upon to rise. Rise we must.
Regena Thomashauer:Rise we must. Rise we shall. I have a question.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. One of the biggest storylines in my family when I was in your course Yeah. Many times. I at first came I think maybe just with my sister, and then my mom came in. There was always some constellation Was it Annie first and
Regena Thomashauer:then you Annie came first.
Kate Northrup:So she came to your Brown Stone first, then I came, then we both were in mastery. Think together
Regena Thomashauer:possibly Remember you brought your mom, and it was so secret?
Kate Northrup:That was That was super fun. Yeah. Well, but it was actually, you know, as you know, it was our mother who sent us Yeah. In secret.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:As like Spice. Little spice.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:We would just call her and tell her everything that happened after every class. It was amazing. Then I was like, mom, she she assigned us your book as homework, but I'm not gonna read it because I feel like I already you already told me what was in there. And she was like, oh, she knows who I am. I was like, she does.
Kate Northrup:So, anyway, we were in there in some constellation of the three of us, and something that came up for us was how deeply uncomfortable it was Yeah. To witness our mother in her erotic energy. And that seems to be something that you and Maggie of course, I have no way no freaking clue how it actually is with you two, but, like, in Things I Witness, I know Maggie took mastery, and I'm curious, what is that about? Why in our culture is it so uncomfortable to witness our mother as an erotic woman. And this is not the case for all of my friends, but it certainly has been the case in my family, and it's not something that I desire to recreate with my children.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm not really the why queen because I think Great.
Kate Northrup:I love
Regena Thomashauer:that. Even once you learn the why, it doesn't solve the problem. Fantastic. Right?
Kate Northrup:What a great answer.
Regena Thomashauer:So
Kate Northrup:my answer is no to that question.
Regena Thomashauer:But what I have noticed is that it's like I think it's a consequence of that level of self hatred and the repression of sensuality that's just epidemic in the wider culture. And also we have lost pre patriarchy, which is by the way, just like a little snowflake in in the timeline of life itself. Right? Because it was, you know, thirty thousand, fifty thousand years that the goddess was worshipped alongside the god. And during those days, your sensual education, your education about pleasure, your erotic aliveness was passed mother to daughter.
Regena Thomashauer:Like, your mama would teach you about your body, about your sensuality, about your pussy. Like, it was your mama, your aunties, it was part of the lineage that we have now lost. And so, I think that probably the thing that I've done the best with Maggie is just to stay in my aliveness even when she was not alive about my aliveness.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Regena Thomashauer:Like, I can literally remember, like, if if, you know, I went wild on dance floor, you know, dancing with some buddy or some guy, she would, like, insert her little tiny seven year old body in there and be like, And so I would just go like, yeah, go crate. You wanna dance with us? You're gonna go dance with us. And so it was something that I never found her wrong Yeah. For her disapproval, but I never dimmed my light.
Regena Thomashauer:And I think the tricky bit is when a woman chooses to dim her light, that's when we fuck it up for ourselves and our children.
Kate Northrup:Totally. Because then our children become the henchwomen and men of the patriarch. Yeah. Exactly. Literally living in our houses.
Kate Northrup:So the other day, my oldest daughter Penelope, when I go to her school, she likes to pick my outfits, which is fascinating.
Regena Thomashauer:That fascinating Maggie used to do this same thing. So interesting. So
Kate Northrup:we had this thing at her school, and she was like, mama, can I pick what you're gonna wear? And I said, yes. These are the five dresses that came from Rent the Runway. You can choose one of these. So not full bore on my closet, but just like, these are your dresses.
Kate Northrup:So she chose one, And she also chose my shoes. And so I so I go to her Spanish presentation, and and and I asked her, like, why tell me more. Like, what is it about wanting to get me dressed for your school that it feels important to you? And she was like and she said, because I I don't want you to embarrass me. And I was like, okay.
Kate Northrup:Cool. So tell me more about that. Like, what's what happens if I show up? Because she doesn't like it when I, like, wear no makeup and I'm just showing up in my gym clothes. And I'm like, so what happened then?
Kate Northrup:She was like, the other because the other little girls or their moms will say, like, oh, look at what she's wearing. Oh. Whatever. And I was like, well, that's super fascinating. Also, I feel great in everything I wear.
Kate Northrup:It was just, I was like, thanks for your share, and fascinating. I don't talk about other women and what they wear in a judgy way at all. That's not in my household, but it's in the culture and now she's wanting to kind of like Well, herself. Protect herself and me from the culture. And so I can see how my job is to, like you said, not disapprove of her.
Kate Northrup:And just like and she'll do the same thing if I'm dancing in a way she doesn't know if I'm singing or whatever. She's like, mama, no, no, no. She's been embarrassed of me probably since she was two, which is fascinating. And so I just am like, cool, you get to feel however you're gonna feel, and I'm just gonna be over here. But it is really interesting.
Regena Thomashauer:It is really interesting.
Kate Northrup:It's really, and it's like, oh.
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. It's really like I know. I know. I know. I have this such a funny experience that you will love with Maggie.
Regena Thomashauer:I visit her, this is when she's in sleepaway camp at Hidden Valley Camp, which I think I went to see your mom
Kate Northrup:You did?
Regena Thomashauer:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I, go up there, and I, you know, I'm from New York City, and so I don't have any Maine clothes. So I get I go to L.
Regena Thomashauer:L. Bean Amazing. And I get, like, some of those I don't know what they're cargo shorts or whatever. Wow. Like kind of Yep.
Regena Thomashauer:That kind of thing and some Maine t shirts, like whatever I think they are and Maine shoes.
Kate Northrup:So great. Tivas. Yeah. Tivas for So
Regena Thomashauer:I so I could get I could look right. And so she sees me walking in for parents visiting day and bursts into tears. And I'm like, what's the matter? And she's like, look at what you're wearing. I was like, I I bought Maine clothes.
Regena Thomashauer:And she said, I told everyone you were gonna be so glamorous because you're from New York City. You're gonna be so beautiful, glamorous. So I you know, you just never know. Obviously, I should have done what you did, which is call her first and say, what do you want me to wear?
Kate Northrup:Ouchie. Oh oh my god.
Regena Thomashauer:It's just It's there's so much It's fraught. It's fraught. It's a it's a fraught world.
Kate Northrup:But at the end of the day, ultimately, our one and only job is to stay connected to our turn on.
Regena Thomashauer:To our turn on. With our men, with our daughters, or women, or sons Mhmm. Or the work we do.
Kate Northrup:Yes.
Regena Thomashauer:Our money. Our money. Our housework. Yeah. All of it.
Regena Thomashauer:All the things. Great. All the things. Our political activism? Oh, absolutely.
Regena Thomashauer:Most importantly, like all the ways turn on rules. It gives you a pathway that will always not just elevate you, but everyone around you. And no other pathway provides that. Mm-mm. So it's you have to be a brave wildcat to choose the path of pleasure.
Regena Thomashauer:But you are a brave wildcat. By the way, can I just say your interview style is is amazing? You are so good at this. Clearly, you're doing the work you were born to do.
Kate Northrup:Thank you.
Regena Thomashauer:It's very beautiful to see and witness and experience. Not that I'd expect anything less, but you are rocking the shit out of this. Thank you. It's true.
Kate Northrup:I love you so much, Regina. Oh, likewise. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for ushering me into womanhood, and for being a friend.
Regena Thomashauer:Oh It's my just so beautiful. And thank you for blazing the trails you blaze.
Kate Northrup:Love you so much. Okay, wait. I forgot to ask you the thing I was supposed to ask, which is like if people wanna find you, because they obviously do. I mean clearly everyone knows who you are anyway, but in case
Regena Thomashauer:If people there wanna find me
Kate Northrup:What should they go do and find and
Regena Thomashauer:invite them? There's two things people should do if they wanna find me. Great. Find me on Instagram, because my Instagram is so great. It's mommajina.
Regena Thomashauer:It's very sexy also. Thank you. Yeah. Then they need to go to my website and sign up for my newsletter because I write amazing blogs. It is I am such a good writer.
Kate Northrup:Regina's newsletters, I think I read 95% of them, which Thank is you. Your writing Thank you. Is exquisite. Thank you, baby. It takes me on a journey, and it gives me a small taste of what I felt in the mastery.
Regena Thomashauer:Oh, that is so good.
Kate Northrup:And so I just wanna say like if you've been mouth watering listening to this and wanting, get on the email list. It is so fucking good.
Regena Thomashauer:Yay. Thank you. I will never unsubscribe. Yay. Thank you.
Regena Thomashauer:It's mama Gina no. Mama Gina's dot com. M a m a g e n a s dot com.
Kate Northrup:Okay.
Regena Thomashauer:Great. Yeah. So there's fun things happening there.
Kate Northrup:And all your books. Pussy Mama Gina's Mama Gina's School of Womanly Arts, Mama Gina's Guide to Owning and Operating Men or Man. Yeah. Gina's Yep. To
Regena Thomashauer:Phenomenal book. It's very helpful. It's so practical. It needs to be reread by me now and then because being the deep end of a relationship is not a joke, and I keep it reread by me. It is.
Regena Thomashauer:Don't you reread your own books occasionally just to remember that you were brilliant when you wrote it, and yours reminded you? No.
Kate Northrup:I never have, but I probably should. So that's a good tip. Thank you. I love you eternally.
Regena Thomashauer:I love you.
Kate Northrup:Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thanks for listening to this episode of Plenty. If you enjoyed it, make sure you subscribe, leave a rating, leave a review. That's one of the best ways that you can ensure to spread the abundance of plenty with others.
Kate Northrup:You can even text it to a friend and tell them to listen in. And if you want even more support to expand your abundance, head over to katenorthrop.com/breakthroughs where you can grab my free money breakthrough guide that details the biggest money breakthroughs from some of the top earning women I know, plus a mini lesson accompanying it with my own biggest money breakthroughs and a nervous system healing tool for you to expand your abundance. Again, that's over at katenorthward.com/breakthroughs. See you next time.