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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: It's Monday, August 3rd, 2026, and welcome to another goddamn episode of 'Happening in Upland'. I'm Mark, your host who's currently composed of about eighty percent iced coffee and twenty percent pure, unadulterated sarcasm. If you're listening to this while sitting in traffic on Foothill, just know that I'm comfortably in a studio with the AC cranked to 'Arctic', while you're out there slowly roasting in your own juices. It's a beautiful day to be alive, isn't it?
JOLEEN: Oh, it's just fucking spectacular, Mark. I'm Joleen, and I've reached that level of upbeat cynicism where I'm actually rooting for the sun to just finish the job and turn us all into human raisins. It's August in the Inland Empire, which means the air isn't just hot, it's spicy. We've got a lot of shit to cover today, from federal agents playing hide-and-seek with local politicians to a school bond that costs more than a small island. If you like what we're doing here, or if you just enjoy hearing two people complain about life in the City of Gracious Living, make sure you like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us how much you hate the 210 freeway. You can even email us your grievances at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com, though I can't promise Mark won't just delete them if they aren't funny.
MARK: I absolutely will delete them. I've got no time for boring complaints. But let's kick things off with the big one because the FBI decided that last week was a great time to start kicking down doors in our neck of the woods. On July 28th, federal agents served warrants at multiple locations tied to San Bernardino County elected officials. They even hit a home in Chino belonging to a county supervisor. It's that classic Inland Empire tradition where the only thing more certain than the Santa Ana winds is a corruption probe. Joleen, you've seen the headlines, what's the vibe on the street?
JOLEEN: The vibe is 'here we go again', Mark. Apparently, the feds were looking into ties between local officials and a West Covina businessman named Su, who's been implicated in some pretty heavy shit regarding Chinese influence and illegal foreign agent activity. One of the homes raided belongs to County Supervisor Alan Wapner's associate, and now Ontario Mayor Paul Leon is out here trying to kick Wapner off every board and committee he's ever sat on. It's like a political version of 'The Real Housewives', but with more subpoenas and fewer table flips. Leon basically said, 'I've got to protect the city,' which is politician-speak for 'I'm distancing myself from this dumpster fire as fast as my legs can carry me'.
MARK: It's hilarious. Wapner has been a fixture in Upland and Ontario politics since, I don't know, the dawn of time? And now he's the star of an FBI search warrant. They also hit a place in Ontario and some spots in West Covina. It's all very cloak-and-dagger, but with the added flavor of local incompetence. You've got to wonder what they found. Was it secret documents or just a whole lot of expensive wine bought with taxpayer-funded lunch money? Either way, the drama is top-tier. I love it when the people who tell us how to live our lives are the ones getting their doors breached at six in the morning. It really warms the cockles of my cold, cynical heart.
JOLEEN: And it's not just the raids, Mark. The fallout is what's really funny. You've got council members in nearby cities acting like they don't even know who these people are. 'Su? Never heard of him. Chinese influence? I thought we were talking about the buffet.' It's ridiculous. This isn't just some minor accounting error; we're talking about federal warrants. If the FBI shows up at your house, it's not because they wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. They're looking for the receipts. And in this county, there are always receipts. Usually stashed in a shoe box under a bed in a house they forgot they owned.
MARK: Speaking of people who want your money, let's talk about the Upland Unified School District. They just dropped a bombshell on July 31st, announcing they're putting a two hundred and thirty-seven million dollar school bond on the November ballot. I'm sorry, did I stutter? Two hundred and thirty-seven million. That's a lot of fucking money for a district that was talking about cutting two million from the budget back in March because enrollment was down. It's like your deadbeat cousin asking for a thousand bucks for 'investments' right after telling you he can't afford rent.
JOLEEN: Right? Back in April, the board was scrambling, reversing decisions to cut non-teaching positions, and now they're just like, 'Hey, how about you give us a quarter-billion dollars?' The sheer audacity is almost impressive. They say it's for school facilities and modernization, which usually means fixing the AC that's been broken since 1994 and maybe buying some iPads that the kids will use to watch TikTok anyway. I'm all for education, but every time I see a bond this big, I just imagine a giant black hole in the middle of Euclid Avenue where our property taxes go to die. It's a massive ask for a community that's already feeling the squeeze of inflation and the fact that a single-family home here costs about the same as a small European castle.
MARK: They're calling it a 'modernization' effort. I've seen some of these schools, and 'modern' isn't the word I'd use. 'Mid-century industrial' maybe? 'Late-Cold-War aesthetic'? If they're going to ask for two hundred million, I better see some gold-plated desks or at least a cafeteria that doesn't serve mystery meat that's older than the students. The timing is just wild. We're in an election year, the feds are raiding the supervisors, and the school district is standing there with their hat out. It's the perfect storm of 'please don't look at where the money went last time'.
JOLEEN: It's going to be a tough sell in November. People are cranky, Mark. They're hot, they're tired of traffic, and now they're being asked to pay more for the privilege of living in a city where the roads look like they've been shelled by artillery. Which, by the way, leads us to our crime report, or as I like to call it, 'What's the Newest Way to Get Scammed in Upland?'. Aside from the federal corruption, we're still seeing a ton of retail fraud over at The Colonies. It's basically a free-for-all over there. If you aren't getting your catalytic converter stolen, you're watching someone walk out of Target with a cart full of electronics they didn't pay for. It's a goddamn mess.
MARK: It really is. The Colonies is essentially a training ground for aspiring thieves at this point. And don't get me started on the 'Labubu' bust the ABC7 snippets mentioned. Apparently, there was a thirty-thousand-dollar recovery of merchandise recently. I don't even know what a Labubu is, Joleen. Is it a toy? A drug? A small mythical creature? Whatever it is, people are stealing thirty grand worth of it. Upland is truly the land of opportunity if your opportunity involves petty theft and running across the 210 freeway to escape the cops. I saw a video of some Tesla burglars doing exactly that. It's like a low-budget version of 'Fast and Furious', but with more eco-friendly getaways.
JOLEEN: The Labubu things are these weird little designer art toys, Mark. They look like monsters with serrated teeth. Of course that's what people are stealing. We can't even have normal crime anymore; it has to be weird and niche. But hey, at least our police department is staying busy. They recently saved a choking baby, which is actually a nice palate cleanser between all the 'man with a knife at an ice cream shop' stories. It's nice to know they can do more than just write tickets for people going thirty-six in a thirty-five zone on Campus Avenue. That's where they really shine, usually hiding behind a tree like some kind of law-enforcement ninja.
MARK: Let's move on to something a bit more somber. We lost a long-time resident recently. Maximillian Havarius Trenkle passed away at ninety-three. He lived over by the Upland Hills Golf Course. He was the son of German immigrants and really represented that old-school Upland generation. You know, the people who were here before every vacant lot turned into a warehouse or a luxury apartment complex that nobody can afford. It's a reminder that there's actual history in this town, even if we're currently paving over most of it with cheap stucco and regret.
JOLEEN: Ninety-three is a hell of a run, especially in this heat. I hope he had good AC at the golf course. It's a nice little pocket of the city, though. It's one of those spots where you can almost pretend that Upland is still a sleepy little citrus town. Then you drive two blocks and see a guy yelling at a trash can, and the illusion is shattered. But seriously, rest in peace to Max. It's the end of an era for that family, and we should probably appreciate those long-time residents while we still have them. They're the only ones who remember when Euclid Avenue wasn't a death trap during rush hour.
MARK: Since we're being slightly less cynical for five seconds, let's talk food. I went to a spot on 2nd Street recently that I actually liked, much to my own surprise. It's a little place called The Deli. No frills, no fancy 'artisanal' bullshit, just a sandwich that doesn't require a loan to purchase. I had a pastrami that was surprisingly good. It wasn't 'The Hat' level of greasy, but it hit the spot. Sometimes you just want a sandwich that isn't trying to be an art project, you know? Joleen, I know you usually survive on coffee and spite, but have you eaten anything lately that didn't make you want to call the health department?
JOLEEN: First off, spite is very calorie-dense, Mark. But I actually stopped by 2nd Avenue Pizza the other day. It's a classic. It's got that old-school vibe where you feel like you might see a mob deal happening in the corner booth, which honestly fits the current political climate perfectly. The crust is thin, the cheese is plentiful, and the service is exactly as brusque as I like it. Don't come here if you want someone to ask you how your day is going every five minutes. They've got pizza to make, and they don't give a shit about your feelings. It's refreshing. In a world of fake 'customer service smiles', I appreciate a place that just hands you a slice and expects you to leave.
MARK: That's the Upland spirit right there. 'Here's your food, now fuck off'. I love it. We need more of that. But if you're planning on eating out this week, be prepared to melt into a puddle before you even get to the door. Let's look at this weather forecast from the National Weather Service, because it's officially 'Surface of the Sun' season. Today, Monday, we're looking at a high of ninety-six. There's an Extreme Heat Warning in effect until 8:00 PM tonight. So, if you're outside right now, stop it. Go inside. Sit in a dark room. Think about your life choices.
JOLEEN: It doesn't get much better, either. Tuesday is ninety-five, Wednesday and Thursday stay around ninety-four. Then, just in time for the weekend when you actually want to do something, it spikes back up. Friday is ninety-six, and Saturday is the winner with a high of ninety-seven degrees. Ninety-seven! That's not weather; that's an assault. Even the nights are barely cooling down into the high sixties. It's that kind of heat where the air feels like a warm, wet blanket that someone's trying to smother you with. If you have pets, for the love of God, keep them inside. Their paws will literally fry on the pavement. I saw a dog the other day wearing little booties and I didn't even laugh. I just thought, 'Smart dog. Smarter than most of the people I work with'.
MARK: Saturday is going to be brutal. Ninety-seven degrees is basically the temperature where my will to live evaporates. I'm staying inside with my blinds closed, pretending the outside world doesn't exist. It's the only way to survive. And you know what makes the heat even better? Road construction! Because nothing says 'summer fun' like sitting in a non-moving car on Foothill Boulevard while the asphalt radiates heat directly into your soul. The Foothill improvement project is still chugging along, or rather, it's not chugging at all because everyone is stuck behind a fleet of orange cones. I'm convinced those cones are sentient and they're slowly taking over the city.
JOLEEN: They're definitely multiplying. I swear I saw two cones having a private meeting behind a 'Road Closed' sign. It's a disaster. And if you're thinking, 'Hey, maybe I'll just move to avoid the traffic', good luck with the real estate market. We've talked about how it's 'cooling', but let's be real: cooling in Upland means the median price dropped from 'impossible' to 'slightly less impossible'. We're still looking at median prices in the mid-eight-hundred-thousand range. For what? A three-bedroom ranch style house built in the seventies where the previous owner clearly had a thing for shag carpet and wood paneling? No thanks. I'll just stay in my apartment and keep paying my landlord's mortgage like a good little peasant.
MARK: It's a joke. I saw a listing the other day for a 'fixer-upper' that was basically a shed with a zip code, and they wanted seven hundred and fifty thousand for it. 'Great potential', the ad said. Yeah, potential for a controlled burn. The inventory is still so low that people are fighting over scraps. It's like 'The Hunger Games', but instead of bows and arrows, we're using pre-approval letters and desperation. If you're a first-time buyer in Upland right now, I genuinely feel for you. You're basically competing against investment firms and people who made their fortune in Bitcoin and have no concept of the value of a dollar.
JOLEEN: And then you've got the city council talking about more housing developments on Route 66. Because that's what we need, more people to share the two lanes of traffic that actually work. It's brilliant planning, really. Let's just keep adding people until the entire city is one giant parking lot. At least then we won't have to worry about speeding tickets. But hey, if you're looking for something to do this weekend that doesn't involve crying over your Zillow app, there are a few things happening. The Moonlight and Music series is still going, though honestly, who wants to sit in a park when it's ninety degrees at 7:00 PM? You're just inviting the mosquitoes to a buffet where you're the main course.
MARK: Exactly. 'Come listen to a cover band while you slowly dehydrate and get bitten by West Nile-carrying insects'. Sounds like a blast. I think I'll pass. I'll stick to my plan of staying in the AC and watching documentaries about people who live in the Arctic. It's the only way to mentally cope. But for those of you who aren't cowards like me, there's always the Metrolink. You can take the train out of town and pretend you're going somewhere better. Just don't look out the window until you're past Fontana, or you'll just see more warehouses. It's warehouses all the way down, Joleen.
JOLEEN: It really is the official flower of the Inland Empire: the Concrete Warehouse. They're everywhere. But hey, we have to keep some perspective. Upland is still better than, say, San Bernardino or Ontario right now. At least our FBI raids are more interesting. It gives the town some character, right? Corruption is basically a heritage at this point. We should lean into it. Maybe start a 'Corruption Tour' of the city. 'To your left, you'll see a house where the feds found a suspiciously large amount of cash in a freezer'. I'd pay for that.
MARK: I'd lead the tour! We could have snacks. 'Bribe-sized sliders' and 'Subpoena Soda'. We'd make a fortune. But seriously, the city is in a weird spot. We've got this massive school bond, federal investigations, and a heatwave that won't quit. It's like the writers of a bad soap opera took over the municipal government. And yet, here we are, still living here. Why? Because the view of the mountains is okay for the three days a year when you can actually see them through the smog? Or because we're just too tired to move our shit? I'm betting on the latter.
JOLEEN: It's definitely the exhaustion. Packing is a bitch. Anyway, that's the news for this week. It's messy, it's hot, and everyone's probably lying to you, but at least you have us to tell you about it. Make sure you check back next week to see if any more of our local leaders are in handcuffs or if the school district has upped their bond request to a cool billion just for the hell of it. We'll be here, sweating and judging, just like always. Don't forget to like and subscribe, dickheads. We need the numbers so we can keep this gravy train rolling.
MARK: And if you have any tips on where the feds might head next, or if you just found a restaurant that doesn't suck, hit us up at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We're back every Monday with more of this nonsense. Try not to die of heatstroke this weekend, and for the love of everything holy, stay off the 210 if you can help it. It's a graveyard for productivity and happiness. We'll see you next week, Upland. Stay cynical.
JOLEEN: Stay salty, Upland. Catch you later.