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Stories for Robots is a funny storytelling podcast for kids 5 to 11 and the grown-ups listening with them. Join Griffin as he tells classic stories to Spark and Vector, two silly robots who have read the entire internet but still don’t understand humans. Like, what are hot dogs and… why? And what’s up with wearing pants?
Season one tells the original fairy tales behind the famous animated films: the real Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Aladdin, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast and The Snow Queen, the way Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm and others first told them.
About 20 minutes an episode: perfect for car rides, road trips or a story before bed. A funny podcast for kids and adults alike, great for kids listening on their own and even better together. New episodes every Thursday. Free and ad-free.
Spark and Vector are performed by Griffin, and their voices are transformed with AI voice technology. The show’s music is made with AI tools.
Griffin: Welcome back
to Stories for Robots.
I'm Griffin Schwed, your
host and storyteller.
Join me as I share some of humanity's most
timeless tales with two silly robots who
are trying to understand human culture
by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
historical events from around the world.
In season one, we're diving into stories
you know, or at least you think you do.
We're going back to the original
versions of classic tales made
famous by animated movies.
But these original stories
are pretty different from the
versions you grew up with.
Last time, we heard part one of the
real story of "The Little Mermaid."
If you missed that episode, pause
this, go back, and check it out.
Spark: Seriously, or else you're gonna
miss, like, the whole mermaid part.
Vector: True dat.
Spark: Oh, in case anyone
listening, like, kinda forgot what
happened last time, I'll tell you.
So, the Little Mermaid is super pretty
and a super good singer, but she falls
in love with a human prince, so she's
like, " OMG, I have to go up to the human
world." So she makes a deal with an evil
sea witch to get some sweet, sweet legs.
But in exchange, it hurts a lot when
she walks, and she can't talk anymore.
When we left off, she was just
leaving the mermaid world behind
and swimming up to the prince's
palace with her magic leg potion.
Griffin: Awesome recap.
So the sun isn't up yet
when she reaches the palace.
As first light begins to brighten
the sky, she sits on the marble
steps and drinks the potion.
For a few seconds, nothing.
Then it feels like a sword
is cutting through her.
She passes out from the pain.
But when she wakes up, the sun is shining
and the prince is standing over her.
She looks down.
She has legs.
Beautiful, delicate legs.
Oh, and she's completely naked and
has to wrap herself in her long hair.
Spark: Awkward.
Vector: Good for her.
I never really understood pants.
Who needs them?
Griffin: The prince asks, "Who
are you? Where did you come from?"
She can't answer, obviously.
She just looks at him
with her deep blue eyes.
He helps her stand and, well,
every single step is like walking
on knives, just like the witch
said, but she doesn't let it show.
The prince takes her to the palace.
He gives her fabulous clothes.
Everyone is amazed by
her beauty and grace.
She's the loveliest
person they've ever seen.
There's only one problem.
She's completely silent.
That night at dinner, the
Little Mermaid dances.
It's her only real way of expressing
herself, and she's enchanting
despite the pain in her feet.
The prince is totally charmed, but
unfortunately, the feelings he develops
for her are not the kind she's hoping for.
Spark: Oh, no, what are
we talking about here?
Griffin: Well, for one thing, he
begins calling her his foundling.
Vector: What is a foundling?
Griffin: It means someone you
found and took in, maybe like
a stray puppy or something.
Vector: This is an accurate
descriptor for her.
This seems good and acceptable.
Spark: Oh, Vector, you don't understand.
That's like a nickname you might give
your annoying little sister or a pet
dog, not someone you might wanna marry.
Griffin: And it gets worse.
He says he wants her to
stay with him forever.
Spark: Aww.
Griffin: But she only gets permission
to sleep outside his door on a pillow.
Vector: The arrangement seems
comfortable and practical.
I do not understand the issue.
Griffin: Despite everything, the little
mermaid is happy with the prince.
Together, they explore the countryside
on horseback, riding through
forests and climbing mountains.
They pass many happy hours together
each day, and she sees the wonders of
land she had dreamed of her entire life.
She is enchanted by the smell of
the woods, the feeling of gentle
breeze and sunlight on her skin.
One day, after the little mermaid
and the prince return from their
adventures, she goes to the marble
steps leading down to the sea and cools
her burning feet in the cold water.
That's when she sees her
sisters in the waves.
They tell her how sad everyone is and
how much they miss their little sister.
From then on, they visit every night.
This goes on for some time, and
as the little mermaid falls more
deeply in love with the prince,
he grows fonder of her too.
But as you've already pointed out, he
loves her in the way you might love a
sweet, good child, like a little sister.
Spark: Oh no, she's in the friend zone.
Vector: The friend zone sounds
like an excellent zone for humans.
Humans love friends.
Spark: But Vector, she
doesn't want to be his friend.
She wants to be his wife.
She needs him to put a ring on it or
she will literally turn into seafoam.
No soul, no hunky husband, nothing.
Griffin: Yep.
One day the prince tells
her, " You're so dear to me.
You have the kindest heart.
You're devoted to me, and you know what?
You remind me of a young woman I saw once.
I was in a shipwreck
and she saved my life.
She's the only one I could ever
love, and you almost look like her."
Spark: This man is dense.
But also, girl, why can't
you just write it down?
I'm the one who saved you.
I love you.
Draw a picture or something.
Griffin: Now that's a good question.
It does seem like that
would solve everything.
Maybe mermaids don't know how to write?
But in any case, in this story, she's
stuck trying to communicate with
the prince with her expressive eyes.
And the prince is not getting the message.
One day, not long after the prince
confesses his love for the mystery
girl, the king and queen announce it's
time for the prince to get married.
They've arranged for him to meet
the neighboring kingdom's princess.
The prince tells the little
mermaid, " I have to go meet her,
but they can't make me marry her.
I can't possibly love her.
She won't look like the temple girl.
You look more like her.
If I had to choose, I'd choose you."
Vector: Understood.
In human culture, if you can't
marry the person you actually love,
it is desirable to marry someone
who kinda looks like that person.
Spark: Nope, that is very odd.
Griffin: Yeah, that's not at all normal.
In any case, they sail together
to the neighboring kingdom.
It's a long journey, and the
prince and the little mermaid
spend a lot of time together.
He's tender towards her, kissing her
forehead and playing with her hair.
She dreams of a future where they're
together, happy as husband and wife.
When they arrive and the princess
appears, the little mermaid has to
admit she's absolutely gorgeous.
And then the prince gasps.
"It's you," he cries.
"You're the one who saved
me from drowning. You're
the girl from the temple."
Spark: Nooo.
Griffin: The princess explains
that she was at the temple for
her education, but now she's back.
The prince is overjoyed.
He tells the little mermaid, "I'm the
happiest man alive. We'll be married at
once, and I know you'll be happy for me
because you care for me more than anyone."
Spark: I'm sorry, the nerve of this guy.
He does not deserve her.
Griffin: Yeah, but the
little mermaid isn't bitter.
She kisses his hand even as she
can feel her heart breaking.
She knows she'll never marry the
prince, which means that very
soon she'll turn into seafoam.
Well, the prince and the
princess arrange to get married
right away, like immediately.
And the next thing the little mermaid
knows, she's the maid of honor holding
the bride's train during the ceremony.
Vector: Wait.
Griffin: Yes, Vector?
Vector: A train would be too
large and heavy for a notably
small mermaid to carry.
Griffin: Oh, yeah, not that kind of train.
A bride's train is just part of her dress.
It drags behind her when she
walks, so the little mermaid is
just holding it up off the floor.
Vector: I knew that.
Continue.
Griffin: Anyway, that night,
the wedding party is on a ship.
It's a lot like the first night
she saw the prince, with fireworks
and music all night long.
And despite the horrible feeling
that it's her last night alive,
the little mermaid dances while the
prince and princess watch admiringly.
Spark: Um, doesn't he know that
she sacrificed everything for him?
Her family, her voice, her
tongue, her beautiful tail?
This man is clueless and
he does not deserve her.
Griffin: It's true.
But in this moment, the little
mermaid feels nothing but love
and tenderness towards him.
Despite her disappointment, both at
losing the prince and missing her chance
to have a soul, she feels at peace.
Finally, the prince and his
bride head to their tent.
The party ends.
The ship goes quiet.
The little mermaid leans on the railing,
looking east at the lightening sky.
She knows that at sunrise, in
just a few minutes, she'll turn
into seafoam and be gone forever.
Then she sees a ripple in the water.
It's her sisters, and
they're completely bald.
Vector: Smart, a bald, shiny
dome allows for faster swimming.
Spark: Wait, what?
Why?
Griffin: The eldest calls
out, "We're here to save you.
We sold our hair to the Sea Witch.
She gave us this magic knife.
Before the sun rises, you
have to stab the prince.
Once you do that, you'll turn back
into a mermaid, and you can come home.
Hurry.
Either he dies or you die.
Look, the sky is getting light.
Hurry."
They toss her the knife and disappear.
Vector: For all that hair, it seems like
they could have secured better terms,
perhaps a deal involving less murder.
Why did they do that?
Griffin: Well, her sisters still love her.
They want to save her life and bring her
home, even if it means making another
terrible deal with the Sea Witch.
Spark: What's she gonna do?
She's not a murderer.
She can't kill him, can she?
Griffin: Let's find out.
So the little mermaid holds the knife.
She pulls back the tent curtain.
The prince and princess are
sleeping, his head on her shoulder.
The little mermaid's hand shakes.
She looks at the prince, who whispers
his bride's name in his sleep.
She kisses his forehead.
She looks at the sky getting brighter and
holds the knife in her trembling hand.
Finally, she raises the knife high into
the air and throws it into the ocean.
It's over.
She would never kill the
prince, even to save herself.
But before the sun comes up and she turns
into seafoam, she wants to feel the cool
ocean water on her skin one last time.
So she takes a final look at the prince
and jumps overboard into the sea.
Spark: Um,
Vector: Thoughtful not to get
sea foam all over the party boat.
Griffin: Hold on.
She starts to feel her body
dissolving into sea foam.
But then something strange happens.
The sun rises, but she doesn't feel dead.
She looks up and sees hundreds
of transparent, beautiful
beings floating in the air.
She realizes she's like them
now, transparent and floating.
" What's happening?
Who are you?" she asks.
And she has a voice.
Not like her old one, but it's
beautiful, almost like an angel.
Vector: That makes a lot of sense.
And by a lot of sense,
I mean no sense at all.
Spark: Yeah buddy, is
she dead or not dead?
Griffin: Good questions.
She's not exactly dead, but
she's not exactly alive either.
She's become something new, a spirit.
Let me let them explain.
"We are the daughters of
the air," they answer.
"We came to save you.
You see, mermaids don't have
souls, and neither do we.
But we can earn souls by doing good deeds.
We think you deserve to earn one too.
Here's the deal.
We do nice stuff like cooling down the
air in really hot countries and spreading
flower perfume to help people heal.
And then after three hundred years
of doing nice things like that,
we get souls and go to heaven."
Vector: Question: How important
is flower perfume to global
human health and happiness?
Griffin: Yeah, it wouldn't be my top
issue, but I feel like their little
fairy hearts are in the right place.
Spark: Okay, but wait, just
confirming, she's not dead, right?
Griffin: Not dead, but also not alive.
She's a spirit, kinda like a friendly
ghost who has the chance to earn a soul.
Spark: Got it.
Griffin: Good, because
it's a little confusing.
The Little Mermaid looks down at the ship.
The prince and princess are
staring sadly at the sea.
It's almost as if they
know she jumped overboard.
The Little Mermaid floats over to the
pair, kisses the bride's forehead,
smiles at the prince, and rises with
the other spirits into the clouds.
" Three hundred years and we'll be in
heaven," the Little Mermaid says with
tears of joy and relief in her eyes.
"Maybe sooner," a companion whispers.
" When we fly invisibly through
human homes and see good children
who make their parents happy, our
time gets shortened by a year.
But when we see bad children,
we cry, and every tear adds a
day to our three hundred years."
The end.
Spark: Wait, what?
Really?
So she just becomes an air fairy
and gets a soul after three
hundred years of random good deeds?
Griffin: Well, yeah.
Spark: I don't really know
how I feel about that.
Like, was that a happy ending?
She doesn't get to be with the prince,
but she does get to earn a soul,
which is what she really wanted.
So, like, kinda happy ending?
Griffin: Spark, I think
you're onto something.
It's not really a happy ending,
but it's not exactly tragic either.
Remember how I said Andersen
felt like an outsider?
He actually experienced the pain of
loving someone who didn't love him back.
Some people think the Little Mermaid
is meant to be him, voiceless and
super sad, watching the person
she loves choose someone else,
and then finding meaning anyway.
Vector: The most important information
is that children must be good
or the air fairies will be sad.
Griffin: I'm not sure that's the
main lesson, but I bet little Hans
thought parents would appreciate that.
Spark: Well, I'm happy
for the Little Mermaid.
The prince didn't deserve her anyway,
and now she gets to do good deeds
and her soul lives on forever.
Vector: And she doesn't have to
deal with having a puny human body.
Also pants.
No more confusing pants.
Griffin: Uh, yeah.
Well said.
Make sure you come back
for the next episode.
I'll be telling the absolute classic
story that everybody loves, Aschenputtel.
Spark: Huh?
Vector: What is that?
Griffin: That's the German
name for Cinderella.
Vector: Your German accent is terrible.
Griffin: How do you know?
Vector: My uncle is German.
Griffin: That doesn't make sense.
Whatever.
To make sure you don't miss Cinderella
like you've never heard it before,
hit follow wherever you're listening.
That way, the next episode of
Stories for Robots will automatically
drop into your feed next week.
Spark: Also, please share
the show with your friends.
Vector: Yes, shout about it in public
places or other normal human things.
Spark: And give us a five-star
rating while you're at it.
It helps other families find us.
Griffin: Stories for Robots
was created, performed, and
produced by me, Griffin Schwed.
Special thanks to Jack, Chloe,
and Annie Farber for editorial
consultation and moral support.
If you'd like to support or
learn more about the show,
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
Email hello@storiesforrobots.com
if you have questions,
feedback, or ideas for the show.
I'd love to hear from you.
Vector: Griffin.
Griffin: Yeah?
Vector: How many mermaids does
it take to screw in a light bulb?
Spark: Ooh, I think I know this one.
Vector: What one?
I must know the answer.
Spark: That's not a joke?
Probably just one, Vector.
They have hands.
Griffin: Well, hang on.
Are they underwater or on land?
Vector: Underwater…
Robot disclosure.
My voice and Spark's voice
are given a beautiful robot
makeover using AI technology.
That is why we sound so cool and good.
Spark: We really do.
Oh, and the background music
was also created using AI tech.