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What I ate last week. Ranked #182 in food podcasts in Mexico according to an email I just got.
NEWS & UPDATES
Huge announcement unclear what he will be doing at the grocery store other than being there. If you are listening to this after October 9 2026 you missed this https://www.instagram.com/p/Dd_y9-uP3Uk/?stkn=NTA3NDh3b3I1ZXI2
The original Wahlbergers location is closing. So sorry to anyone who cared about this.
10 seasons https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wahlburgers_(TV_series)
I should have gotten a quote from my mother
Food memory: my second grade teacher making us all weigh ourselves in front of the class and then she made a bar chart to show who the heaviest person was
Food memory: enjoy your big plate
Sorry that I keep mentioning this but I will never forget when I worked at a tiki bar and a woman asked us if we could take the large decorative shark down from the wall because it was scaring her
Justin Timberlake update of the week: I once dated someone who took a photograph of Justin Timberlake that ended up being one of his album covers
Which one of my garbage sons are you is gone
SCENTS
On Monday around 5:40pm my bedroom smelled like a chocolate / candy store. Specifically Munsons in Connecticut but other chocolate / candy stores smell like this. Distant chocolate wrapped in foil and contained in plexiglass display smell
SCENT REVIEW: Le Labo Osmanthus 19 Kyoto City Exclusive
Official description: In early winter when most plants have gone dormant, gardeners await the arrival of the Osmanthus flower. Let your eyes wander and you’ll miss it: the momentary bloom of this delicate flower, treasured for its ethereal, sensual fragrance. Until it can surprise us again, we offer OSMANTHUS 19. First impressions are notes of incense and aromatic lavender, before the titular flower emerges… creamy and uplifting, with woody, resinous tonalities close behind. The composition is pure Kyoto, a nuanced scent for a town where traditional machiya houses sometimes harmonize with concrete and neon, where video game arcades can be found a stone’s throw from the gardens of emperors long past. Top notes are Frankincense and Lavender; middle note is Osmanthus; base notes are Woody Notes and Resins.
My blind review: My dad’s bureau covered in loose change and multiple piggy banks, floss, mints, and Big Red gum, licorice, opening boxes of Christmas ornaments and decorations that you brought up from the basement, Juicy Fruit gum, plastic containers, lipstick, a teacher, a fake vanilla candle at CVS. Modesto apple juice.
INTERNET
90 Day
Sheryl crow watches 90 day
Podcasts
Ezra Klein interviews Bill Gates and the interview is mostly Bill Gates telling Ezra Klein that his opinions are garbage
I don’t listen to Ezra Klein that much anymore but I heard that Bill Gates was going to talk about whether or not I would have a job in 2-5 years (spoiler: I’m hoping that I don’t) and I needed a refresher on whether or not Bill Gates was Steve Jobs.
I need to tell you something. I am in a perpetual state of not knowing which person is Steve Jobs in which person is Bill Gates and which one of them is deceased. The names Bill Gates and Steve Jobs sound like two names that were made up for the sake of a children’s book about the labor force. Like when Trump forgot Tim Cook from Apple’s name and called him Tim Apple. Tim Cook works too. I have the same problem with Dana Carvey and the other comedian who looks just like him and they have a podcast together. Why would they do that? Feels like a mean joke targeted at me.
Brian said that he saw a thread on Twitter about someone who was trapping and containing an AI bot and torturing it, which he said made him understand AI even less, and then people were commenting that we needed to issue protections and welfare regulations for AI bots and he was like what
IG
IDEALS special screaming Brian’s name at the top of its lungs https://www.instagram.com/p/Dd9UC2ruQ_A/?stkn=MWZtOGIyY24zZHUyMw==
Dries / cold water https://www.instagram.com/p/Dd87RHslXDR/?stkn=djJlbmdqbnM4cnFh
Google Maps
Black & white https://maps.app.goo.gl/4xvMEzeyFEcWZRDM9?g_st=ic
Loon lake bar and grill vs saloon and grill across the street. All of small town America is bars & grills and here’s the problem with letting women own businesses: women owned businesses are addicted to using the preset canva cursive font that comes already inserted into the logo and menu templates they’re using. And the women owned canva cursive businesses are either colorful drinks in large plastic cups or bread that they forgot to put yeast in. You can see a women owned business from a mile away and when project 25 really kicks into high gear they get ready to shut down all the women owned businesses they’ll be able to immediately find them all. Why isn’t there word art for men? The first instance of word art that I ever saw was a small sign on my grand parent’s garage door that said “Gone Fishing” which is clearly for men. I did see a really crazy exterior word art on the Pizza Hut buffet next to Cook Out which I’d have to imagine was a word cloud of words associated with pizza hut. Not every women owned business uses canva cursive but 100% of canva cursive businesses are owned by women. Sorry to disparage women owned businesses. Let’s get women access to resources besides canva.
Bean addiction looks like the part of the thrift store where there’s a bunch of furniture https://maps.app.goo.gl/4uBcTgd4r1YmuVXA6?g_st=ic
Hot dogs in Arizona https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLJvM2mL/
TIKTOK
Hot dogs only thing in stock on hatteras https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Towbo4/
“Smells like chemicals” / aluminum foil for the microwave https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8wJu8nX/
Wendy’s news: Lisa goes thrice a day https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8KsRKrB/
Kraft toy https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8o1RwcB/
Trout cupcakes https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPL1gphyF/
Marinated Diet Coke. Brian could never do this because he drinks every Coke Zero in the fridge https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPL1pwBXc/
Jello belt / lime https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLRMJRd3/
Wet food for girls https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLRqh1Ks/
Two cafes owned by a WOMAN called SIPS https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLREAAtd/
Robert hoarding dishes https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPL8MP8cX/
Hot dog bun cinnamon rolls https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPL84oUWa/
September 28, 2026 (Monday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Two sunny eggs with Texas Pete hot sauce over basmati rice, made at home.
12pm: A small slice of tiramisu.
4pm: A small piece of Tony’s milk chocolate.
6pm: Pelmeni with butter, chives, and Kalona french onion dip, made at home.
7:30pm: Half a slice of pumpkin bread.
Things kept going wrong today including the pelmeni. A glass that I have on the windowsill to catch the light and turn into a rainbow fell and smashed my coffee pot. Brewed a pot of coffee but forgot to put the coffee in so I brewed a pot of water. Brian left a Coke Zero in the freezer and it exploded. One cat was legitimately fighting and being aggressive over a mini lamb chop toy. Same Cat was about to throw up on the couch so as I ran to push him off the couch I scared the other cat and he flipped all the stools over and I almost lost all my teeth falling all over them. Cat threw up all over the couch.
Natasha’s Kitchen pelmeni dough scaled for 1lb of meat
https://natashaskitchen.com/russian-pelmeni-recipe-new-dough-recipe/#recipe
Dough
0.33 cups buttermilk
0.5 Tbsp sour cream
1 large eggs
1 cup warm water
0.75 tsp salt
3.5 cups plus 6 Tbsp unbleached all-purpose flour
I did half bread flour half AP
Filling
0.5 lb ground turkey
0.5 lb ground pork
0.5 medium onion, finely diced
0.5 Tbsp olive oil
1.5 garlic cloves, pressed
0.25 tsp ground pepper
0.38 tsp salt
0.5 tsp hot sauce, optional
Speaking of ground turkey
This made a ton of dough. I tried using my metal russian pelmeni mold and it didn’t really work. They were hard to get out and they didn’t seal properly. Did I overfill? Was the dough too thin? It was sticky so why didn’t it stick to itself and seal?
I probably only used about a sixth of the dough but half of the meat. The dough was very elastic and thin and didn’t roll out well so I just stretched it like a pizza dough into the mold. Dough was probably too thin. I then had to sit and pinch the edges of each one so they wouldn’t explode when boiling. The recipe acknowledges that you probably have to do this. I’ve made pelmeni in the past and will probably not use the mold.
https://galainthekitchen.com/recipes/pelmeni-mold/
I bought the right shape so I’m the problem.
Despite all this, they were good. I didn’t have sour cream so I used french onion dip.
Tony’s chocolate is rubbery like hersheys
September 29, 2026 (Tuesday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
9:30am: Fried leftover pelmeni with two sunny eggs, made at home.
2:30pm: A double cheeseburger with quesadilla sauce, lettuce, tomato, and onion, cheese curds, and hush puppies at Cook Out in Oxford, North Carolina.
5:30pm: Panang curry with leftover pork pelmeni filling, tofu, and green beans over basmati rice, made at home.
7pm: Tony’s milk chocolate.
Pelmeni were great fried the next day. I want to make more of these in bulk and freeze them. I used to do this with dumplings when I moved to Chicago and didn’t have access to cheap, plentiful dumplings of new york china town. Dumplings in Chicago are expensive in comparison.
And stuff like that / Alan who worked at a coffee shop but couldn’t make coffee
Wish that my Food Lion still carried Locatelli products; only in Oxford
Saw a man driving a lawn mower around town
Purple car owner discovered. Double purple car both with same faded blotchy patina
Went to cook out to get cheese curds and they gave me about five small cheese curds so I will need to go back again this week and get more. The hush puppies were the best I’ve had yet. I understand why there aren’t donut shops around in the south. A good hush puppy is like a good old fashioned donut.
Bagel dog: Brian thought that the hot dog would go through the hole of the bagel
https://cash.app/$cupajoemissionvalley/item/CALI_CAESGDNHUk9STTNOV0VTWUE0WDdOR0dMV0VPTg
September 30, 2026 (Wednesday)
7am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: A cold brew with half & half from Carolina Coffee Shop in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
11am: Leftover curry over rice and a very miniature KitKat bar.
4pm: Two jammy eggs and half a bottle of Synergy Gingerade kombucha.
5pm: Cheese tortellini soup with escarole and Christmas lima beans, made at home.
6pm: Tony’s milk chocolate.
My boss forgot to tell me that she was out of town so I left the office at 1
Hurricanes $2: “They’re gonna run out of hot dogs. They need a hot dog limit. How could they have that many hot dogs”
October 1, 2026 (Thursday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
11am: Leftover curry over rice and a small pour of Synergy Gingerade kombucha.
3pm: Grilled yellow American cheese on butter toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home.
5pm: Eggplant parmesan, made at home.
6pm: Two black and white cookies, made at home.
Black and white cookies with a lighter chocolate icing inspired by the TikTok video review of the pastry box black and white cookie. I want to know their recipe. My chocolate icing tastes too dark or thick or tacky or grainy. I tried just adding a little bit of cocoa powder but it looked gray. But I think that is the ultimate answer. Again I should have followed the advice of my previous self and just done vanilla icing because it was perfect. But I love getting that perfect line down the center. Subbed cream. I used a glass bottle super thick buttermilk and it was a touch too sour for this application but otherwise they were perfect with apricot preserves.
This eggplant parm wasn’t as good. PERFECT amount of eggplant. Five small eggplant for three layers. Didn’t slice as easily. Used fresh mozz so more moisture. Could have let it cool more before slicing. Not as caramelized. Should have cooked the sauce longer but I was afraid of not having enough.
After all that cooking the best thing I ate this day was the grilled cheese that I made using a knife that had cut garlic and onion. Brian’s aunt says that whole foods has the best sliced american cheese and I agree.
Using unrolled toilet paper that has been rolled back up and exposed to the air is like eating food that has been chewed and spat back up, or when you blow a bubble and then bring the gum back into your mouth. Like Hillary spitting out her sherbet back into the cup so she could eat it again. I would run up to her house and watch MTV because I wasn’t allowed to watch it in my own home. She had a special hearing device that sent the teacher’s voice directly into her head because she wasn’t paying attention. I looked her up recently and she lives out west now. She makes nature themed post cards and likes to hike.
October 2, 2026 (Friday)
8:30am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Leftover curry over rice.
1pm: Grilled yellow American cheese on butter toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home, and a bottle of Synergy Gingerade kombucha.
2:30pm: Half of a black and white cookie.
6pm: Leftover eggplant parmesan.
7:30pm: A pour of Boonshine East Boone pilsner.
Entered deep pretzel craving mode around 11:50am
Preheated the oven to reheat the eggplant parm and forgot that the leftover black and white cookies were in there so they got roasted.
October 3, 2026 (Saturday)
9am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
12pm: Half of a grilled yellow American cheese on butter toasted Mt. Athos Fire sourdough, made at home.
3pm: A slice of vanilla cake, made at home.
5pm: A walking taco with jalapeños and cheese curds from Cook Out in Creedmoor, North Carolina.
As soon as I went outside to eat my perfect grilled cheese on the porch Brian rolled up on the tractor so I split it with him. Brian was desperate to go to Cook Out after watching a Tiktok video about a guy talking about how you really need to order an extra side on top of a tray order. People recommend this to avoid a skimpy side, like when I get five cheese curds. Went to the Creedmoor cookout which has more items but also because it’s by the place where I get mulch and I needed mulch.
Pizza Hut buffet open for lunch. Clair’s dad used to go for lunch every day and get salad in Austin Texas but then they closed it down and he was sad.
Walking tacos are served in bags for a reason. If you could see what you were eating you wouldn’t eat it.
Vanilla Cake
https://www.cupcakeproject.com/ultimate-vanilla-cake-recipe/#recipe
I want to make this but there aren’t weight measurements and I don’t want to make the same mistake
Preppy Kitchen https://preppykitchen.com/1448-2/#recipe
I liked the buttercream so I could try the cake. Easy enough, plus uses buttermilk. Highly rated, 4.9 stars with around 2k reviews like the Broma Bakery cake which I liked. I have avoided this recipe because it’s all butter. Plus it’s by a website called preppy kitchen which is an alienating choice.
Also want to mention that Costco has a big $20 bottle of Nielsen-Massey vanilla bean paste right now. Makes me wish I still had a membership. Last time I went to Costco I almost crashed my car trying to drive and eat an ice cream sundae while driving home with $400 worth of products that I didn’t need.
Halved cake recipe (yield 1x 8” cake)
150g all-purpose flour
I used cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon diamond crystal kosher salt
166g granulated sugar
85g unsalted butter, softened
1.5 large eggs, room temperature
I used one egg plus one yolk and some white
1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup whole or low-fat buttermilk room temperature
350 for 30 minutes
At 27 minutes my cake registered 210
Scaled down buttercream recipe (One third of original)
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
Small pinch of salt
200g 10x
1 tablespoon heavy cream or whole milk, plus a little more if needed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
This was a good cake according to Brian. Light and springy and fluffy. Super easy. Next time I would try half oil. This is essentially the same recipe as the Broma bakery cake. It wasn’t as good though and I’m not sure why. I think it’s the buttercream that is off but it was still good. Whipped too much air into it. Kind of tasted like a Walmart cake.
October 4, 2026 (Sunday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Two sunny eggs over fried harissa potatoes, made at home.
12pm: A slice of vanilla cake.
5pm: Chicken pot pie, made at home.
Potatoes tasted like a Chili’s restaurant
Harissa spice mix, Chinese chili flakes, accidentally dried chives that were sitting in my fridge in a bowl until they dried to a crisp, garlic powder, black pepper
Brian begged me to let us watch a peaceful show all week since I only watched reality shows where people scream at each other so I let him choose and he put on a video where Jacque pepin made 10 soups
Zoomed in on a photo I took of Brian on the couch with the cats and his iPad to see what he was doing on his iPad and he was looking at soups
Chicken pot pie
Whole small chicken poached with onion, thyme, bay leaf, and black pepper
1 diced yellow onion, 2 diced carrots, whole head of garlic, 2 cups peas, 1 cup cassoulet beans
Butter and whole wheat pastry flour roux, 3 cups chicken stock made from the chicken carcass, ⅓ cup cream, chicken bouillon, worchestershire sauce, Texas Pete garlic hot sauce, thyme, tarragon, black pepper (should have used chives)
A sheet of Whole Foods puff pastry, laid over an 11x7 pyrex dish on a sheet tray
Egg wash: saw an America’s Test Kitchen video that said to denature your egg with salt and by letting it sit and then brushing it onto the pastry to prevent drips and messiness; this kind of worked but it wasn’t perfect.
400 for 40 mins
Saw my first frog since moving here. Usually there are only toads. It was in the garbage.