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Work like you’re not a parent.
Parent like you don’t work.
What if that whole system is wrong?
This is Full Stack Moms, and we are Mallory Lee and Shannon Curran, two working moms navigating tech careers, parenting, and everything in between. We talk about why the traditional rules of work don’t fit modern parents and how women in tech are doing things differently. Through honest conversations and behind-the-scenes stories, this show explores careers, caregiving, ambition, and the messy reality of having it all, just not all at once.
Connect with Mallory: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorylee/
Connect with Shannon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannon-sweeny-curran/
Produced in partnership with Share Your Genius
www.shareyourgenius.com
[00:00:00] Shannon Curran: it's the best thing I've ever done. Like
[00:00:01] Shannon Curran: yeah. I hope I can show my kids this episode in like 30 years to be like, I did this and this is why we were able to have the life we have.
[00:00:07] Shannon Curran: Right? This is Full Stack Moms.
[00:00:11] This is not a parenting podcast nor a business podcast, but a place where we talk building careers in tech, raising kids at home, and making it work in public.
[00:00:21] Shannon Curran: Let's get into it. So this is episode one
[00:00:27] Shannon Curran: one.
[00:00:27] Mallory Lee: or two.
[00:00:29] Shannon Curran: Two.
[00:00:29] Mallory Lee: don't know.
[00:00:31] Mallory Lee: This is the first episode where, yeah, it's just me and Shannon hanging out. We picked a topic. We're gonna talk about childcare, making some of the decisions associated with that. so many different ways to tackle it. So many options out there. None of which ever feel that. Great. Might I add, so Shannon, why don't you go first. Talk to us about how you thought your first childcare setup was gonna go.
[00:00:58] Shannon Curran: Sure. this one actually did feel good to me, so this, I think that might be a turn of, turn of events here.
[00:01:03] Shannon Curran: So, when I was pregnant with my first, I was a VP of marketing at a Series A. And my plan was, I think I talked about this in the, our like first episode that I was gonna leave for three months, come right back full-time daycare.
[00:01:17] Shannon Curran: Um, luckily my husband did have three months off too, so we were gonna stack our parental leaves big. I know a lot of people like have that opportunity now, which is amazing to, so you end up with like a six month old going to daycare instead of a 12 week old, which I think makes like kind of a big difference.
[00:01:32] Shannon Curran: And yeah, we didn't take any of our leave together, but we like that was worth it I think in the long run. So when I was 15 weeks pregnant, I already was like, I need to get on a waiting list for a daycare because I, I knew, I thought daycare would be the best choice for us because I work fully remote.
[00:01:50] Shannon Curran: I didn't love the idea of the baby being in the house while I was here. Like, I just was like, I don't think that's gonna work. and to be clear, it was really hard, even when my husband was primary parent and I was downstairs, it was just like a lot of mental, like you're thinking the whole time about the baby.
[00:02:05] Shannon Curran: I was still breastfeeding. and so it was just like really hard, um,
[00:02:09] Mallory Lee: He could smell you.
[00:02:11] Shannon Curran: Oh yeah.
[00:02:12] Mallory Lee: could probably smell you.
[00:02:14] Shannon Curran: like, I want mom and, So I found a daycare center that would allow us to hold a spot. That's the other thing, 'cause like get into, like some of them won't even let you hold spots. They're like, if there is one available, we'll give it to you when you have a kid, but you can't hold one.
[00:02:31] Shannon Curran: So I found one that did, it was kind of far away from our house. I'm so glad we didn't go with this center, but it just made me feel like all I had to do was pay for one week ahead of time. And so, or one month ahead of time. I can't remember either. I think it was one week. And I remember it being like, that is worth the money just to like have peace of mind that I know I'll have childcare when I go back to work and I can always, I think the biggest takeaway I had from this is like, you can always change your mind.
[00:02:58] Shannon Curran: Anything is
[00:02:59] Mallory Lee: Yeah, for sure. For
[00:03:00] Shannon Curran: time, right? Like, and so I was like, this just makes me feel better knowing that I have childcare. When my son was turning like five months old, that's what we decided. Or five and a half months old, whatever. And so in the time I was still pregnant actually, 'cause this was like 15 weeks, I was like barely pregnant.
[00:03:18] Shannon Curran: my employer didn't know, like you were saying earlier, like I, they didn't even know I was pregnant.
[00:03:23] Shannon Curran: And so Toward the end of my pregnancy, I was like, maybe we should look at a few other places. I was starting to get a little gun shy. I was like, I'm glad we have a spot, but maybe we should look at a few others.
[00:03:32] Shannon Curran: And so I found a place that was really close to our house. Luckily, I had a neighbor that worked for care.com in the safety department, so she gave me an evaluation of all the daycares that were in our area, and she was like, these three are the only three you should, oh my God, I know that you should look at.
[00:03:49] Shannon Curran: I'm like, great. Cool. we had a few qualifications. We just wanted, like close to the house, good safety rating, diverse population. We would like if like the teachers spoke both English and Spanish. That was like, but wasn't a requirement, but we
[00:04:01] Shannon Curran: wanted.
[00:04:01] Shannon Curran: So we walked into the place we ended up going with and it was like so homey.
[00:04:05] Shannon Curran: It was like five minutes away from our house. We're like, okay, let's give up our deposit at the other place. But this place, you couldn't hold spots. So it was like, we'll still hold that spot, but if we can get into this other one, that would be better. yeah. Now Sebastian's been there for two years. It's like
[00:04:18] Mallory Lee: Oh good.
[00:04:20] Shannon Curran: I know. And I remember the first day I dropped him off at daycare. I felt this like. At this like peace, like I feel like a lot of people are so big. Like so many people texted me, which is very sweet being like, have you cried all day? Like, are you so like stressed? And I'm like, not really. I was like, I'm actually really, really excited to have someone else help take care of him.
[00:04:43] Shannon Curran: Um,
[00:04:44] Mallory Lee: I feel, I feel great. Is that wrong?
[00:04:47] Shannon Curran: is that wrong? I really did feel bad about it. I was like, am I supposed to feel something different?And I felt a little guilt. Like I went on this whole thing like, am I a bad mom? You know, we, I'm sure. We'll there's that, that question will come up a million times on this podcast, right? Like, am I a bad parent?
[00:05:00] Shannon Curran: Am I a bad business owner? You know, like you'd go through all these thoughts, right? And the, I think also Sebastian was like a really, really, really active newborn. And so he just needed a lot of stimulation. And I was like, man, I'm not built for this. Like I don't teach preschool for a reason, you know, I'm not good at this.
[00:05:16] Shannon Curran: Right?
[00:05:16] Shannon Curran: So, yeah, we had a really great experience, obviously, like we'll talk through the, you know, he goes home, you know, the good thing about daycare is they're open every day, right? Like, it's not like a, a nanny who can get sick or anything, but when your kids are sick, they're home and you're still paying.
[00:05:28] Shannon Curran: So that's
[00:05:30] Mallory Lee: Yes, that's
[00:05:31] Shannon Curran: um, but yeah, so I actually had a really good experience with my first,
[00:05:33] Shannon Curran: choosing full-time daycare, even at the cost of what it was, right, which is a lot of money, but
[00:05:40] Mallory Lee: Yes.
[00:05:41] Mallory Lee: And that's what I was hinting at when I said it's never great is like the cost associated with it.
[00:05:46] Mallory Lee: But, picking the right place and knowing that you are confident in the place, I think is what ends up making it worth the money.
[00:05:54] Mallory Lee: Do you know what I mean? Like that part matters.
[00:05:56] Mallory Lee: so for us, we've done so many different kinds of childcare and let's see, I'm gonna have to actually like remember as we go here. so when I got pregnant, I was also VP of marketing at a Series B. A. Almost b and um,
[00:06:15] Shannon Curran: Wow, we had the same job. I don't think I knew that. That's crazy. I didn't know that.
[00:06:19] Shannon Curran: Look at us.
[00:06:20] Mallory Lee: why we get along so well. Yeah.
[00:06:25] Mallory Lee: away I had this feeling of wanting to stay at home and thinking to myself like, oh, I'd love to try being a stay at home mom.
[00:06:35] Mallory Lee: See if that, you know, if I like that. I did not have a stay at home mom. I think that might be why I wanted to try it. 'cause I was like a daycare kid and there was nothing wrong with it at all. but Brian was not a daycare kid and so I was like, maybe I, you know, maybe I should try the other way.
[00:06:55] Mallory Lee: So we talked
[00:06:55] Shannon Curran: I was the opposite.
[00:06:57] Mallory Lee: opposite.
[00:06:58] Shannon Curran: at home mom. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, my kids are going to daycare. It's so funny.
[00:07:02] Shannon Curran: Yeah.
[00:07:03] Mallory Lee: That's great. Uh, well. Anyway, from an early stage, we were talking about should I stay home? And so there was this big debate. You have to look at the budget, you have to figure out, you know, if it's gonna work for the family. we decided that we could make it work. And so at some point along the way. I don't remember how far along I was. I did go ahead and tell my CEO that I was not going to come back and he was super supportive of that. Totally understood. and right away we had an agreement that I would stay on as a contractor to ensure, you know, some of the business continuity and help out here and there with a couple things. And I really wanted to stay on the company phone plan so. That was like my condition. I was like, I'll help you out still if you keep me on the phone plan. so that was like a perk. And so the thing that made that interesting is I think I was a contractor like pretty right away. You know, like
[00:08:07] Mallory Lee: I started consulting very quickly after he was born So no maternity leave really to speak of there. And it went fine. I enjoyed keeping in touch with everybody at work and I would bring him into the office with me. and the girls on the marketing team would like babysat, like the babysat him while I worked.
[00:08:29] Mallory Lee: I like went to meetings and stuff, so that was fun. so did that for a while and, So I was a stay at home mom, but I was a consultant.
[00:08:38] Shannon Curran: I was gonna say, you're calling yourself a stay at home mom, and you're going into the office into meetings. I don't think you're a stay at home mom.
[00:08:43] Mallory Lee: Right, right. That's why I failed at it. That's why it didn't work, because I was like trying to be a stay at home mom, you know, air quotes.
[00:08:54] Mallory Lee: But I was like working,
[00:08:58] Mallory Lee: and
[00:08:58] Shannon Curran: wanna work or were they making you feel like you had to, like, did you want to do it?
[00:09:03] Mallory Lee: I, I wanted to, I wanted to stay on the phone plan. Don't ask me why this was such an important thing to me. Brian's always been on his work phone plan, so I'm always like trying to find my phone plan situation.
[00:09:17] Mallory Lee: Anyway.
[00:09:18] Shannon Curran: got on each other's phone plans. We were on our parents still. I'm like, Pete, our kids are gonna end up on their grandparents' phone plan. We need to get our own plans. It's just an annoying process. It's really annoying. It's not about the money, it's just the process is very annoying.
[00:09:33] Mallory Lee: it is annoying. Grayson got an Apple watch when he
[00:09:35] Mallory Lee: turned eight. No, when he turned nine. And that was the time for me to get on my own phone plan was so I could have his watch on my phone plan. Um, so
[00:09:45] Mallory Lee: I feel You
[00:09:46] Shannon Curran: still a consultant that was trying to get a phone plan from a business.
[00:09:51] Mallory Lee: I was on my dad's at that time.
[00:09:53] Shannon Curran: Of course you,
[00:09:56] Mallory Lee: Oh, someone just take care of me, please.
[00:09:58] Mallory Lee: Okay.
[00:09:59] Shannon Curran: dear God, I'm taking care of so many other people. Can someone just pay for my phone? Can somebody please?
[00:10:04] Mallory Lee: Yes. So long story short, stay-at-home mom, but consulting, you know, probably at least. 10 ish hours a week, nothing that crazy.
[00:10:16] Mallory Lee: Then baby number two comes along and I knew that I needed some more predictable childcare, so we would have sitters or you know, like a part-time nanny that would come like two days a week
[00:10:29] Mallory Lee: and I would work on those days and she would be there with the kids. we actually used a great service. That was created by our friend, miss Lisa, and she pairs you with a nanny. So that is really nice because she would handle the nanny payroll,
[00:10:47] Mallory Lee: like the tax docs. She would find a backup for you if your nanny was sick.so we really enjoyed that process and for a while, miss Lisa was our actual nanny herself. Until she got pregnant and she was gonna have her own kids.
[00:11:03] Mallory Lee: So we did the nanny thing part-time for a while. And through Miss Lisa, we learned about au pairs and. Ms. Lisa, when she was little, had an au pair. So we kinda learned about this from her and we started investigating it and we're like, this could be kind of cool to have an au pair. and so for anybody who doesn't know what an au pair is, they come from usually a different country. They travel to you, they live with you, and they are part of your family. It's almost like a foreign exchange kind of situation, but they have a job as your nanny, and so they work a certain number of hours per week.
[00:11:44] Mallory Lee: There's like definitely some guidelines and regulations involved. but we, we pulled the trigger on that. We did that, so
[00:11:51] Shannon Curran: I
[00:11:51] Mallory Lee: we got.
[00:11:52] Shannon Curran: so cool.
[00:11:54] Mallory Lee: It was really cool. We got an au pair, and by the way, at some point in time when we got the AU pair, I was already back to work full-time by then at Cheetah Digital. I don't remember exactly the timing of that, but I was already back to work full-time. We got the au pair. Her name was Valentina. Love her. still very connected to her to this day, and so it was a really good experience for us. we had plenty of room in our house for like, another person to live with us, and that's definitely
[00:12:24] Mallory Lee: a piece of the
[00:12:25] Shannon Curran: is, someone asked me about that. I worked for a French company when I got pregnant, and so of course they were all like, well, obviously you're gonna have an au pair, right? And I was like, guys, I barely have a bedroom for the kids. Like I don't have room to have someone else living here.
[00:12:39] Mallory Lee: That's
[00:12:40] Shannon Curran: you bought a house in Boston, it's crazy.
[00:12:42] Mallory Lee: yeah. Yeah. It's a real thing. you have to be able to like, fit it into the space and the style of your life, but it worked well for us and shortly after she came to live with us. I got pregnant with Cohen number three. And so she thought she was coming to take care of two kids and then surprise, you're gonna take care of three kids. But she was ecstatic. She loved it. And then, we had a big gender reveal party for Cohen. Just for Valentina because she had seen like all these American gender reveal parties and she wanted to experience it.
[00:13:23] Shannon Curran: That like we all hate, but they, she like thought it was so beautiful and cute. Also, by the way, we're having another boy, and that's the other thing.
[00:13:30] Mallory Lee: yeah, it was like dream come true for her to participate in this gender reveal, which was so sweet. And so then COVID happened and we were so fortunate to have full-time childcare, literally
[00:13:47] Mallory Lee: living in our home during COVID.
[00:13:50] Shannon Curran: Wow.
[00:13:51] Mallory Lee: don't know how we got just this lucky, but we did. And so all of us were all quarantined all together and That worked out pretty well because she could still be responsible for the kids during the day while we were still working remotely. And at some point in time it had been about two years, and that's the standard, like stint for an au
[00:14:13] Mallory Lee: pair is one year with an option to renew for a second. And she had already completed two years, and so she was gonna go back home to Columbia. And at the time there was like a policy change. It was a political thing. You couldn't get au pairs. It was like we were not gonna get another one, so we pivoted to daycare. And so at that time,
[00:14:38] Mallory Lee: all three of them went to daycare. So Cohen was
[00:14:42] Mallory Lee: a little bit over one, when he started
[00:14:44] Mallory Lee: daycare
[00:14:46] Mallory Lee: change, and then the other ones, they all went to the same place, this Goddard School. and it wasn't exactly our plan, so it ended up being a lot more costly than what we thought we
[00:14:56] Mallory Lee: would be. Cha paying for the childcare? Yeah.
[00:14:59] Mallory Lee: 40 K for the, all three of them for a year to be in daycare.
[00:15:05] Shannon Curran: You know what's crazy that he actually doesn't sound that crazy to me. 'cause I think it cost me almost 30 for Sebastian to go by himself when he was, 'cause infant care is really expensive because the ratio is like what, three kids to one teacher? It's
[00:15:19] Mallory Lee: Three to one? Yeah. Mm-hmm.
[00:15:21] Shannon Curran: That's why I'm trying to keep Willa out until she's year old.
[00:15:24] Shannon Curran: We'll get to what I'm doing right now, which is
[00:15:26] Mallory Lee: Yeah. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Yeah. Don't blame you there. So we didn't have to do the infant part. And we did get a sibling discount, which I've taken advantage of now with all three boys. But,
[00:15:38] Shannon Curran: And
[00:15:38] Shannon Curran: you can write
[00:15:38] Shannon Curran: off a whole $5,000 on your taxes. It's almost
[00:15:42] Shannon Curran: offensive
[00:15:44] Shannon Curran: it's like who's paying $5,000 a year for childcare that needs to be updated, that write off needs to
[00:15:49] Shannon Curran: be updated to like 50,000.
[00:15:52] Mallory Lee: Well, and you know, I've talked to so many people who are like, it doesn't make sense for me to pay that much in childcare with. The money that I make at work,
[00:16:01] Mallory Lee: it's not worth the, the trade off of so much of my salary going to childcare. So they either stay home or they go to part-time, they get grandma involved.
[00:16:11] Mallory Lee: Like there's so many different options out there. But we started the daycare, during COVID times. And so there
[00:16:19] Mallory Lee: were some times where it would shut down because a classroom would like have a case. And then anybody in that same room had to stay
[00:16:27] Mallory Lee: home for seven days or something like that. one time we used that seven day break to potty train, uh, Bennett. So that worked out fine. but it, it was just wild.
[00:16:54] Mallory Lee: So now they're all in school and, uh. The daycare situation follows you even when they're all in elementary school because you have to decide if you're gonna let them come home on the bus or if they need afterschool care. And so for a few years I let Grayson and Bennett come home on the bus after school and they walked in this door right behind me and everyone would see them and talk to them.
[00:17:03] Mallory Lee: And it was 2 45, which is very early for someone who's in the middle of their workday. but now they all go to the afterschool program at school,
[00:17:13] Mallory Lee: so I'm covered until
[00:17:15] Mallory Lee: Brian picks them up.
[00:17:18] Shannon Curran: I love that. Yeah. I, sorry, I left out what I did with my second job, I left, so I,
[00:17:25] Mallory Lee: okay. We're coming back to her.
[00:17:26] Shannon Curran: So I think I, I told this story in our first episode, but that I did go back to my job after my, um, maternity leave the first time while Sebastian was in daycare, and then decided to start my own consulting business because I was like, Hey, I just, I think this is gonna be better for our family if I can still make.
[00:17:44] Shannon Curran: Good money. Right. Which I am feel very grateful to be able to do. And so Sebastian still stayed in daycare though, like I kept him. The thing about our daycare is it's full-time or nothing like, so that's pros and cons. It's cheaper than a lot of the other daycares in the area. Actually, all the other kids are on state voucher.
[00:18:01] Shannon Curran: there are very few folks that pay private. which is amazing. Shout out to Massachusetts, lots of social programs. and so, uh, it's amazing. and so I was like, let's just keep him. We don't want him to lose his spot. He loves it there. Like he's, we saw like, oh my God, his language like exploded when he went, right?
[00:18:18] Shannon Curran: Like, and he just had like, I could just tell, I was like, he's a kid that thrives in this environment. Like of course he naps amazing at daycare, not at home. You know, like, I was like, okay, the kid loves structure and it's working great for him. Right?
[00:18:30] Mallory Lee: yeah, yeah.
[00:18:30] Shannon Curran: So, the first, like, you know, six months or so of my business were pretty lumpy.
[00:18:35] Shannon Curran: I would like have like a big client and then I would have nothing. And then that summer was really slow. I later found out that the year I started my business was like. The slowest year that consultants have like ever had. Like everyone I know that like that is a consultant, has been a consultant for like 10 years.
[00:18:49] Shannon Curran: They're like, oh, that summer was terrible. No one. I was like, okay, that makes me feel a little better. That like, it wasn't just me, it was just my bad. It was just bad timing. So I would pick him up early from school or I would like take him outta school, but I usually would send him at least every day to, to nap at school.
[00:19:03] Shannon Curran: So then, found out I was pregnant with my second right before Sebastian's first birthday. So my kids are pretty close in age. and so I was like, you know what? I really like the daycare experience for Sebastian, but I think having two kids that are in toddler infant care at the same time is like, that might be fiscally irresponsible.
[00:19:22] Shannon Curran: Like I think especially because I'm a consultant now and I can decide how many clients to have, what my schedule is, that kind of stuff.
[00:19:30] Mallory Lee: Yeah. Which is amazing.
[00:19:32] Shannon Curran: Yes, it is. Like, what a freaking blessing. I'm, it's the best thing I've ever done. Like
[00:19:36] Shannon Curran: yeah. I hope I can show my kids this episode in like 30 years to be like, this is like, I did this and this is why we were able to have the life we have.
[00:19:44] Shannon Curran: Right? Like
[00:19:45] Mallory Lee: Oh,
[00:19:45] Shannon Curran: yeah. Um, it's something I think about a lot. Yeah.Also, Willa was born in June, so like when she'd go to daycare, it was like peak flu season. So I was like, you know what? Let me see if I can get her to like nine months a year where I can like parent and all that, right? So I'd planned to take like two months off at least.
[00:20:06] Shannon Curran: I wound down all my clients. There were two clients that wanted to take me back after. I was like, I didn't expect that to happen. I was just expected to have to start over again. But they were like, Hey, can we have you back? Like, when can we have you back? Um, and I was like, amazing. Yeah, it was. and I
[00:20:19] Shannon Curran: was
[00:20:19] Mallory Lee: It's like, maternity leave.
[00:20:21] Shannon Curran: it really was. I know. And I also, uh, Massachusetts was paying me so that, 'cause I am my own employer, right. But what I ended up doing is I got a call from one of those clients when I was six weeks postpartum and they had had a leadership change and I thought what they were gonna tell me is like, Hey, we can't take you back.
[00:20:38] Shannon Curran: Like there's no, like, we don't have budget. 'cause the numbers weren't looking good either. Like, I know what was happening when I left. I was like, why would you want me back? I just, that's why I assumed they wouldn't, I'm a fractional CMO by the way, so I was running the marketing team, but I had already hired the team.
[00:20:50] Shannon Curran: I was like, they're doing great. and they were like, Hey, can you come back like now? And I was like, oh.
[00:20:56] Mallory Lee: It's a marketing emergency.
[00:20:58] Shannon Curran: I, yeah, not, no such thing. but I was like, uh, okay, sure. I was like, I, let's work. And I was working like 10 hours a week. Same thing that you were talking about. Like, so Willow was on all my calls.
[00:21:09] Shannon Curran: I wore her all the time. Like, and my husband was still not quite back full-time yet. So he was helpful, during the day. I will say the transition from one to two rocked me. Rocked. Oh, we can, I'm sure we can talk about that at, at a later date. but it was kind of good to have a little bit of work, I think, because I was feeling very lost.
[00:21:28] Shannon Curran: so I think it was good. It was kind of anchored me like in my old which I think was good. the special part about my second is she's still refusing to take a bottle and she's over eight months old. So like, I had to go to New York for my client. I brought her with me.
[00:21:41] Shannon Curran: we'll talk about that on a new, another episode. She came to a board prep meeting with me. She's been like, it kind of feels like she's building my business with me. It's pretty funny. but now finally it's starting to get unwieldy. Like she's. Crawling, she's super fast. Like all of these things is just not working.
[00:21:55] Shannon Curran: And I have more clients now. My business is, is growing. So I brought on actually, I coach at a gym, a local gym, and a lot of the folks that go to the gym are like moms that used to be athletes. Like a lot of us, like we're all, and one of the moms, all of her kids is now, are now in full-time school, but she's a stay at home mom.
[00:22:11] Shannon Curran: And so I can actually hear her right now. She's watching Willa for a few hours, a few days a week.
[00:22:16] Mallory Lee: Oh
[00:22:16] Mallory Lee: wonderful.
[00:22:17] Shannon Curran: Yeah, it's a gift until Sebastian moves out of that infant room to toddler room, which is in like two months. And then Willow will go to school. We'll go to daycare full time.
[00:22:26] Shannon Curran: So I think that the all in all here is you can see that we've done all of the options.
[00:22:33] Shannon Curran: I feel like between the two of us, we've done like pretty much all of 'em, right?
[00:22:37] Mallory Lee: we've covered the bases.
[00:22:39] Shannon Curran: yeah, other than fully staying home, we've done them all.
[00:22:45] Mallory Lee: Yeah, well,
[00:22:46] Mallory Lee: you
[00:22:46] Shannon Curran: too hard.
[00:22:49] Mallory Lee: that did, that did kind of come with the territory of this show being about working moms. So
[00:22:57] Mallory Lee: I think, I think it works well. But so the options that I've never tried, one I've heard about is a nanny share.
[00:23:04] Shannon Curran: Yes, I've heard about this.
[00:23:07] Mallory Lee: Which I think is so cool. Um, and
[00:23:09] Mallory Lee: this is where maybe like a couple people, they share a nanny and so they will drop
[00:23:15] Mallory Lee: the kids
[00:23:15] Mallory Lee: off
[00:23:16] Shannon Curran: kids. Yeah.
[00:23:17] Mallory Lee: up to three.
[00:23:17] Mallory Lee: Yeah. You drop them off at somebody's house or maybe you're even rotating your homes as to which home the nanny goes to for the day, and the nanny watches all three. Kids from different families and you all pay her, and you're paying your share, which I think is so cool. I would've
[00:23:36] Mallory Lee: liked an option like that. Problem is I have my own three, so like I am my own nanny
[00:23:42] Shannon Curran: Nanny share the au pair was your nanny share.
[00:23:47] Mallory Lee: I guess so. I
[00:23:48] Shannon Curran: So you did try it, it just happened to be, yeah, that and um, the other one I haven't tried is home daycares. That's the other one. Like,
[00:23:54] Mallory Lee: yeah, I'm
[00:23:55] Shannon Curran: funny, I was. Yeah, it's just harder to know. Like the regulations are a little loosey goose, so I think it's a little, but in my neighborhood, I was walking with the kids one day and I was like, what is going on in that house?
[00:24:07] Shannon Curran: Like, it looks like there's like, do they have a business downstairs? I looked and I was like, oh, there's literally a home daycare in my neighborhood. So of course, like when I was in the panic of having a second kid, I was like, should I call this woman? Like, but, and I know a lot of people that it's worked really well for.
[00:24:20] Shannon Curran: but yeah, we just decided not to like. Because we found like a, a center that we really, really liked. Um, we decided not to look into it, but I know it's an option.
[00:24:30] Mallory Lee: Oh, that's good. Yeah. I have a couple of girlfriends who have done. some specific in-home daycares that they just totally loved and they've had like all their kids go and you've really become part of the family and it's a lot more stable. So I see the perks of that, because at daycares I've seen that there could be some turnover in the caretaking.
[00:24:52] Mallory Lee: Department, like the people who work there,
[00:24:54] Mallory Lee: and, that is not necessarily ideal, right?
[00:24:58] Mallory Lee: You know, your kids kind of like become attached to their teacher, and if their teacher, you know, decides to move on, or maybe they've had a goal of getting into an elementary school and they meet that goal, they move on from. You know, the daycare to the elementary school. there can be, you know, some feelings there. But overall it's been a good experience for us and we've even gone back to visit the daycare that the boys were at, just to like, say hi to everybody and yeah, they were, they were loved there, so it was a good time.
[00:25:32] Shannon Curran: Yeah, I think, I think it comes down to, I'm a very like. Village kind of person. Like my kids are raised by not just me, not just my husband, but they're, we have a lot of really close friends that are there, you know, that love and care for our kids. They have two sets of grandparents. Oh, that's the other one that I, so both sets of,
[00:25:53] Shannon Curran: My in-laws and my parents still work full-time, so I didn't have the option of like, my mom actually does do Thursdays, but I have to go to her house. and she was already watching my nieces, so I just like tagged into that. I was like, Hey, you got some room for one more? Um, so
[00:26:07] Mallory Lee: Hey, that's your nanny share.
[00:26:09] Shannon Curran: That is my nana share.
[00:26:13] Mallory Lee: Ooh. Okay.
[00:26:15] Mallory Lee: This is, a business idea, Nana
[00:26:18] Shannon Curran: my, mom is like super nana too. She like, she has every size of diaper the kids need. She has like all of it's amazing. I leave my brain and all my stuff. At home when my kids go there, it's so amazing. Um, and so, but of course she like wants Sebastian to come too.
[00:26:34] Shannon Curran: And I'm like, no, we pay for daycare. He's going to school. Like he's going to school. You could have Willow, you could have her. but I think the biggest thing is I just felt like our village got bigger when we decided to bring on childcare that we trusted. I'm sure you felt extra like that with an au pair.
[00:26:47] Shannon Curran: It's like, wow, look at this other person that loves and cares for my kids so much. What a gift for your kids that they have this like big community of people that care for them. And,of course it does require a lack, like a kind of loss of control as a parent, but I think it's like a really good lesson.
[00:27:02] Shannon Curran: 'cause parenting is all about lack of control.it was a really special thing for me to be able to like, give them, you know, an additional village to help them grow. And, people that are also, uh. Study how to teach children things. I'm like, what are you, like, are you supposed to know what a circle is at this age?
[00:27:20] Shannon Curran: Like, are you supposed to know what letters are like? I'm like, I don't, I'm glad that someone is teaching him that. So that's, that's
[00:27:28] Mallory Lee: Yeah.
[00:27:28] Mallory Lee: Yeah. Let someone else decide. I forgot to mention that we still have a nanny.
[00:27:34] Mallory Lee: Because
[00:27:35] Shannon Curran: didn't know that.
[00:27:36] Mallory Lee: the summer off, and so we have a summer nanny, miss Lauren, who
[00:27:41] Mallory Lee: is the best thing in the world. And so in the summertime she's here with the boys at home and I'm here. So there's a little chaos, but they're either like swimming in the pool or they go, you know, like to this club across the street.
[00:27:56] Mallory Lee: they go
[00:27:57] Mallory Lee: to every park in our. Area. They do a lot of fun stuff all summer with her. So we're doing the summer nanny instead of the summer camps. And a lot of people, their childcare in the summertime when
[00:28:11] Mallory Lee: you have a school aged kid actually becomes like summer camps. And so I don't have a lot of experience there, but I know that it is summer camp signup season right now, and it's very, very intense.
[00:28:23] Mallory Lee: People have spreadsheets.
[00:28:25] Mallory Lee: it is cutthroat and it's a lot.
[00:28:29] Shannon Curran: Yeah. People always tell me, they're like, when you say daycare's expensive, they're like, yeah, the money just goes other places. Once the kids are outta daycare, it goes into like sports and camp and like all this stuff. I'm like, yeah, I don't, I'm fine. I'm just, you know, I chose to have these wonderful little gremlins like, uh, you know, they're a part of my balance sheet for, from now and forever, so.
[00:28:51] Shannon Curran: Oh.
[00:28:53] Mallory Lee: All right.
[00:28:54] Mallory Lee: So we need to talk about what saved our lives this week. We're gonna
[00:29:02] Mallory Lee: try this out. We wanna have a segment, maybe every episode, maybe not. We'll, we'll feel it out, right? a thing or a person or a process that saved your life this week. So, Shannon, what saved you this week?
[00:29:18] Shannon Curran: Yeah. I am still in the crux of feeling a little bit chaotic when I take both kids outta the house at the same time, because they're still pretty little. One is in like a, you know, I use a Duna for Willa with like a car seat. Stroller situation. Um, and obviously Sebastian walks, but he's extremely fast and like the frontal lobe is not really there on like danger, right?
[00:29:42] Shannon Curran: And so, uh, I've now found the hack that is best for parking lot safety is that Sebastian actually pushes will in the duna with me over him. And he's like, this is my job. I must stay attached to this baby while I am pushing her. And she thinks it's amazingly hysterical. Um, because she loves him. So that, uh, like little nuance of not like carry one kid, push the other, open the door.
[00:30:07] Shannon Curran: Also, the bane of your existence when you have a stroller is freaking doors. Like,
[00:30:11] Mallory Lee: yeah.
[00:30:12] Shannon Curran: like the arm situation is crazy. And like you realize that most of the world is not handicap accessible. Lemme tell you. Um, it's like, like things you have to get over. So I think this, that little like hack system has saved my stress of him running into the street.
[00:30:29] Shannon Curran: And, also my ability to take both children out by myself, which I think is God props to anyone that does. This was like 303. I don't really know how that you would do that, but that has been my save this week is the coordination of the small child. Push the other small child while you are holding really hard to make sure she doesn't get pushed over a cliff.
[00:30:47] Shannon Curran: So that is
[00:30:48] Mallory Lee: love it. And the douna is like a save on its own
[00:30:51] Mallory Lee: because it's a car seat that turns into a stroller.
[00:30:55] Shannon Curran: it's a very polarizing product, but man, I love it like it is. It was my number one for both kids. Number one product saved me, like I,
[00:31:04] Mallory Lee: I say, no shame in the douna.
[00:31:06] Shannon Curran: No, I love it. Love
[00:31:08] Shannon Curran: it.
[00:31:08] Mallory Lee: Yeah. Good. Okay. I decided my save this week is Lunchables from Costco.
[00:31:16] Shannon Curran: Ooh, I don't know about these. Do tell.
[00:31:21] Mallory Lee: Okay. So. There's been field trips this week, and today for the boys is Global Play Day, so they had to bring their lunch. They normally don't bring their lunch on Friday because it's pizza day. So we had like an
[00:31:32] Mallory Lee: extra, yeah, extra day of packing lunches this week, plus the complication of the brown bag lunch for the field trip, and. I was a little stressed about it, you know, like lunches are my job in the morning and I'm thinking to myself, okay, I need to like stretch beyond my typical weekly lunch capabilities. While we were at Costco and we passed by the big kit, it comes with six Lunchables in it. Half of them are ham, half of them are Turkey. But you know, they're like just slightly healthier than your average Lunchable. You know, they've got like
[00:32:06] Mallory Lee: the nitrate free deli meat and you can feel slightly better about it. So grabbed those. It gave me six things to use. I used
[00:32:16] Mallory Lee: three of them yesterday. Three of them today, and now they're gone.
[00:32:20] Shannon Curran: I was like, you didn't get to eat one. Are you sad?
[00:32:22] Mallory Lee: No, no. But it saved me from the stress of different lunches and more lunches this week. So they didn't
[00:32:32] Mallory Lee: last long, but they helped.
[00:32:34] Mallory Lee: And that's
[00:32:34] Shannon Curran: They serve their function, their purpose.
[00:32:37] Mallory Lee: They did.
[00:32:38] Shannon Curran: I love that. I love a curated lunch there. The mental load of cooking for children is really something else. So I am all for the, the ease of some of someone else compiling that meal for you.
[00:32:50] Mallory Lee: Yep. Yep. Yeah, so there's five people in my home. Okay. so if there's a day where we are all home, we make 15 meals a day. 15 meals a day in this house. And when I stopped to think about that, it was just wild. And none of my kids eat the same thing either. So like a lot of them are distinct meals. So
[00:33:15] Shannon Curran: I said to someone the other day, I have a friend that she is a stay at home mom, and she has two kids the exact same age as mine. And I'm like, is all you do is clean the high chair all day? And she's like, yes.
[00:33:25] Mallory Lee: yeah,
[00:33:26] Shannon Curran: Like, I think that's all. 'cause I, we had a snow day the other day and I feel like all I did was clean up after the baby eating.
[00:33:32] Shannon Curran: It's like all she did was eat like I was and then after she ate, you clean up the eating 'cause they're so messy and then you're cleaning like, oh God. Its really, yeah.
[00:33:41] Mallory Lee: Yeah,
[00:33:41] Shannon Curran: it to the list. Add it to the list.
[00:33:44] Mallory Lee: add it right on there.
[00:33:46] Mallory Lee: Thanks for listening to Full Stack Moms.
[00:33:48] We'll be back with more episodes that help you see you're not crazy and you're not alone. If we might be your people, please make sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I end up with my AirPods stuck in my ear all day, and I don't even realize they're there, but I do it because I like the, the sensory dampening,
[00:34:17] Shannon Curran: Yeah, the
[00:34:17] Mallory Lee: the noise cancel.
[00:34:19] Mallory Lee: There is something about becoming a mom where everything's too loud. And it, it doesn't happen until like, and watching TV with captions
[00:34:33] Shannon Curran: Oh yeah,
[00:34:35] Mallory Lee: all of a sudden, yeah.
[00:34:37] Mallory Lee: But that wasn't always, you know, like the,
[00:34:41] Mallory Lee: it's like you become a parent and you need captions now.
[00:34:44] Shannon Curran: I need multiple senses to be able to take anything in at this point because I'm so overstimulated.