Ki Teitzei 5786 | Rabbi David Zahtz

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── Shiur Outline ──
(0:07) Connecting Ki Seitzei to Elul
(2:40) From Eshet Yifat Toar to the Wayward Child
(4:48) Elul: True Self-Examination Beyond Whitewash

AI-Generated Summary (AI can be inaccurate. Check important information):

This shiur explores the thematic unity of Parshas Ki Seitzei, explaining how the chronological sequence from the captive woman to the rebellious son demonstrates that self-gratification inevitably leads to familial tragedy. The core problem is identified as nidon al shem sofo, where a person’s focus on physical indulgence in this world eventually leads to moral ruin and destructive behavior. Ultimately, the speaker concludes that during the month of Elul, we must practice internal cleanliness by recognizing that even our smallest spiritual choices and character traits profoundly shape the future of the next generation.

1. The linkage of sins — The proximity of the laws regarding the Eshet Yifat Toar, the hated wife, and the Ben Sorer u-Moreh teaches that one forbidden or selfish act leads to another.
2. Nidon al shem sofo — A wayward son is judged based on his ultimate end because his current path of indulgence in Olam HaZeh leads inevitably to violence and theft.
3. Self-gratification vs. Love — The shift from desire (ve-chashakta) to hatred in the case of the captive woman reveals that a relationship based purely on self-service is destined to fail.
4. Parental influence — The spiritual trajectory of a child is deeply impacted by the values and choices of the parents, even in matters that seem minor or private.
5. The lesson of Elul — We must recognize that every small action matters; Elul is a time for total internal nekius (cleanliness) rather than a superficial whitewashing of our deeds.
6. Mindful living — True growth requires being "real" with oneself and understanding that even small contaminations in our middot can have long-term consequences.

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Good שבת everyone.

פרשת כי תצא always is read during the month of אלול.

But what's the connection?

You have some very interesting stories at the beginning of פרשת כי תצא.

We hear about the אשת יפת תואר,

the woman that you find at war,

that suddenly you take in,

bring her captive,

she grows out her nails.

Then you have the story with two wives,

one hated,

the other one loved,

kind of also weird,

who hates somebody?

And then you have the בן סורר ומורה,

the wayward child that is taken by parents,

brought to the סנהדרין,

killed with סקילה.

What does this have to do with אלול?

So I want to share one idea which I do think brings everything together

and as well brings us a message for אלול.

בן סורר ומורה,

what did the בן סורר ומורה do?

The גמרא tells us that what he did was he ate some meat and

drank some wine.

Really?

None of that's a capital crime.

Why is he being killed for that?

The גמרא tells us נידון על שם סופו,

right,

מוטב שימות זכאי than being ימות חייב.

It's better that he dies innocent than die guilty.

But that's usually the opposite.

Why are we assuming what's happening?

No,

because he started a process.

And that process is going to lead him to continue stealing from others,

his parents,

and then ultimately bring him to murder.

It's a process.

Lots of things can happen in the process.

Who says it's going to happen?

So the answer I want to show you actually is look at the other

way.

I mean,

that's not our question.

The תורה is talking about a situation that that is what's going to happen.

How do we come to that understanding?

It's going to happen.

And the question comes up is why?

Why did it happen?

The אבן עזרא points out the reason why it happened is because he was

indulging in this world.

And when you indulge in עולם הזה in a certain sense you're saying this

is what the world's about,

not עולם הבא.

And if that's the case you're going to fight for everything until the point

where even you murder.

But just indulging in a little wine and meat,

really?

That's what it is?

That's what the אבן עזרא says.

Yes.

That's exactly where it's going.

But where did it come from?

The beginning of the פרשה talks about אשת יפת תואר.

The פסוק says that when a person goes out to war,

וראית בשביה אשת יפת תואר וחשקת בה.

Right,

you love her.

You feel this drive towards her.

But interestingly enough חז"ל explain,

why are all these stories connected?

Because if you find the יפת תואר and you take her,

you're going to marry her.

And if you marry her,

what's going to end up happening?

She's going to become a hated wife.

And if she becomes a hated wife and has a child,

next thing you know that child is going to become the בן סורר ומורה.

So it's all connected.

But why does she become hated?

וחשקת בה.

You loved her.

What changes the love to hate?

Because did you really love her?

You were serving yourself.

You were serving עולם הזה.

And if you serve עולם הזה then what's going to be at the end

of the day?

You're going to get over that at some point.

And then it's going to turn to hate.

So what happens?

That child becomes a בן סורר ומורה why?

It all started with the father.

It all started with the mother.

It started with the parents.

Meaning even the smallest little bits and smallest issues,

וחשקת,

you loved her,

you're putting עולם הזה first,

it gets to the kids.

It gets to the child.

And that can lead the child in a direction that there's no ספק where

he's going to go.

That's unbelievable when you think about it.

It's crazy.

But yet it's possible.

That's something extremely important to think about.

Whatever we do when it comes to our children,

when it comes to our lives,

has an impact.

And we can't,

can't just push things aside it's only a little bit,

it's only a little bit,

it's only...

No.

Everything has an impact for good and God forbid,

רחמנא ליצלן,

for bad.

The מסילת ישרים talks about נקיות,

cleaning ourselves from a מידה רעה.

Sometimes in life I mean we've noticed over the last six,

seven years.

When it came to COVID and so on,

we knew like you scrub the vegetables when it came from someplace like that,

you had the mask,

everything like that,

even the smallest little contamination.

We always had to be careful.

We strive to be clean,

to get rid of it.

One of the things to say,

אלול.

אלול is not just about a whitewash.

It's about becoming real with yourself,

real with what we do,

and appreciating every little component,

and recognizing every single thing that we do in life,

it matters.

And if it matters,

we have to do it to the best of our abilities.

We have to be as careful as we possibly can.

בעזרת השם,

we have this message.

We should live life in a real,

thoughtful way so this way we appreciate everything about it and we can build

off of it.

We can get rid of the bad and just continue building good for ourselves

and for our children.

Have a beautiful שבת.