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Happening in Upland is your weekly rundown of what’s going on around town—local news, community events, public safety updates, new restaurants, development, weather, schools, and the stuff Upland residents actually talk about.
Delivered with humor, honesty, and a very local point of view, this isn’t stiff broadcast news. It’s real, relevant information with personality. If you live in Upland or anywhere nearby in the Inland Empire, this is your weekly shortcut to staying in the loop.
MARK: Welcome to 'Happening in Upland', the only podcast brave enough to tell you that our city's 'Gracious Living' slogan is mostly just a polite way of saying we've got a lot of trees and some very expensive water bills. It's Tuesday, June 2, 2026, and I'm your host Mark, coming to you from a room that's hopefully soundproof enough to drown out the neighbor's leaf blower.
JOLEEN: And I'm Joleen, the one who's actually upbeat because I've already had three cups of coffee, though I'm still cynical enough to know that most of you are listening to this while stuck in traffic on Euclid. Upland is a beautiful place, really, if you can ignore the fact that the median home price is higher than my actual will to live. But hey, we're here to give you the news, the grit, and the occasional dick joke, because that's just how we roll in the nine-zero-nine.
MARK: We've got a packed show today, so don't be an asshole and skip through the segments. We're talking graduation season, some local crime that'll make you lock your doors twice, and a restaurant review that doesn't involve a chain. If you want to bitch about something we said, or if you've actually got a tip that isn't just a photo of a weird cloud, hit us up at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. Now, let's get into the shit that actually matters.
JOLEEN: First up on the headlines, it's officially that time of year where every teenager in town thinks they're suddenly an adult because they're wearing a polyester robe. Upland High School's graduation is just around the corner, and the district is scrambling to make sure the ceremony doesn't turn into a heatstroke festival. They're actually moving some of the start times later in the evening to avoid the afternoon sun, which is great for the kids and even better for the parents who want to start their celebratory drinking earlier.
MARK: It's a classic move. Nothing says 'welcome to the real world' like sitting on a plastic chair for three hours while a valedictorian tells you to follow your dreams, even though the economy is basically a giant game of Monopoly where all the houses are already owned by boomers. I saw the setup at the stadium yesterday and it looks like they're finally fixing the sound system. Last year, the principal sounded like he was speaking from the bottom of a well, or maybe he was just trying to hide from the school board.
JOLEEN: Speaking of the school board, the district's finally moving forward with some of those campus safety upgrades they've been promising. It's about time. They're installing new fencing and digital check-in systems at several elementary schools. It's a bit sad that our schools have to look like minimum-security prisons, but that's the world we're living in, folks. At least the kids will be safe from everything except the lunch lady's mystery meat.
MARK: Let's pivot to the crime report, because Upland's finest have been busy. There's been a massive spike in catalytic converter thefts over the last weekend, specifically in the northern part of the city. These dickheads are getting bold, too. We're talking about thefts happening in broad daylight in residential driveways. One guy in San Antonio Heights caught a crew on his Ring camera, and they stripped his truck in less than ninety seconds. That's faster than it takes me to find a matching pair of socks in the morning.
JOLEEN: It's absolutely ridiculous. If you've got a truck or a hybrid, you might want to consider sleeping in your driveway with a baseball bat. Or, you know, just get one of those shields installed. The police are asking anyone with footage to come forward, but let's be real, these guys are probably halfway to a chop shop in Pomona by now. In other news, there was a minor scuffle at a local park involving a stolen frisbee and a very angry golden retriever. Okay, that's not real crime, but it's the kind of drama I live for.
MARK: In more serious news, the Upland Police Department is also warning about a new phone scam targeting seniors. Some prick is calling people pretending to be from the utility company, threatening to shut off the power unless they pay in gift cards. If you're over the age of sixty-five and someone asks you to pay your Southern California Edison bill with Applebee's gift cards, please, for the love of god, just hang up the phone. Don't be that person.
JOLEEN: I'm always amazed that people fall for that. I mean, if Edison wanted your money, they'd just take it out of your soul directly. Moving on to something that'll actually make you happy--or at least full. We took a trip to The Sycamore Inn recently. Now, I know it's a staple, but it's been a while since we gave it a fair shake. It's that classic, old-school vibe where you half expect to see a ghost from the nineteen-forties sitting at the bar with a martini.
MARK: The Sycamore Inn is great if you want to feel like a sophisticated adult for an hour before you go back to eating cereal for dinner. I had the prime rib, and it was fucking fantastic. It's seasoned perfectly and it's large enough to be used as a blunt-force weapon. Joleen, you had the salmon, right? Or were you too busy judging the wallpaper?
JOLEEN: The wallpaper is iconic, you philistine. Yes, I had the salmon, and it was actually quite good. Not too dry, which is a miracle in the Inland Empire. But the real star is the atmosphere. It's dark, it's moody, and it's perfect for a date where you don't want anyone to see you crying over the check. It's pricey, sure, but it's worth it for a special occasion, or if you've just successfully stolen a catalytic converter and have some extra cash.
MARK: Don't encourage them, Joleen. Let's talk sports. The Upland Highlanders baseball team finished their season last week, and while they didn't take the whole thing home, they put up a hell of a fight in the playoffs. It's tough seeing those seniors walk off the field for the last time, but at least they didn't lose to Rancho. That's the real victory. If you beat Rancho Cucamonga in anything, it's a successful season in my book.
JOLEEN: Spoken like a true hater. I love it. The girls' softball team also had a solid run, and there's a lot of hype about the incoming freshmen for the next season. It's impressive how much talent we've got in this little corner of the world. Maybe it's something in the water, or maybe it's just the fear of having to work at the mall for the rest of their lives that's driving these kids to excel.
MARK: It's definitely the fear. Now, if you're looking for something to do this weekend, the city's kicking off its summer concert series at Memorial Park this Sunday. It's a tribute band, of course, because nothing says 'Upland summer' like a group of fifty-year-olds pretending to be the Eagles. It's free, it's outside, and it's a great place to people-watch while you pretend to enjoy 'Hotel California' for the ten-thousandth time.
JOLEEN: Hey, I like the Eagles. But you're right, the people-watching is the main event. You'll see everyone from the local politicians trying to look relatable to the teenagers trying to hide their vapes behind the palm trees. It starts at six, so get there early if you want a spot that isn't directly behind a tree or a very tall guy in a fedora. Also, don't forget the Farmers' Market on Saturday morning. It's the best place to pay six dollars for a tomato that was grown five miles away.
MARK: I'll pay the six dollars just so I don't have to go into a grocery store. Let's look at the weather, because it's officially 'June Gloom' season. Today, Tuesday, we're looking at those typical morning clouds that make you think it might rain, but it won't. It'll burn off by noon and we'll hit a high of seventy-nine. Wednesday and Thursday are going to stay in the low eighties, which is actually pleasant before the real heat turns our brains into soup.
JOLEEN: Enjoy it while it lasts. By the weekend, Friday through Sunday, we're looking at a steady climb. We'll hit eighty-five on Saturday and probably eighty-eight by Monday, June 8th. It's that awkward transition where you can't decide if you need a light jacket or if you should just walk around naked. For the sake of everyone at the concert in the park, please choose the jacket. The humidity is going to stay low, so at least we won't be sweating through our shirts just by standing still.
MARK: Speak for yourself. I'm a sweater. On the road front, if you're driving anywhere near the north end of town, be careful on 24th Street. They're doing some pavement rehab work near the San Antonio Heights border. It's not a full closure, but it's enough to turn a five-minute drive into a fifteen-minute ordeal of staring at a guy holding a 'Slow' sign. He's got the power, and he knows it.
JOLEEN: I'm convinced those guys just flip the sign to 'Stop' whenever they see someone who looks like they're in a hurry. It's a power trip, and honestly, I respect it. They're also doing some minor utility work on Mountain Avenue, so expect some lane merges that'll make you question the intelligence of everyone around you. Just take it slow, don't be a dickhead, and we'll all get home eventually.
MARK: Finally, let's look at the real estate market. If you were hoping for a dip so you could finally buy that house with the pool and the three-car garage, I've got bad news. Inventory is still lower than the bar for a reality TV star. The median list price in Upland is hovering around eight hundred fifty thousand dollars this week. It's insane. You're basically paying three-quarters of a million dollars for a house that hasn't been updated since the Reagan administration.
JOLEEN: It's the California dream, Mark! Spend all your money on a mortgage so you can't afford to actually go anywhere. But seriously, homes are still selling in under thirty days if they're priced right. If you're a buyer, you've got to be fast, and you've probably got to offer your firstborn as a down payment. If you're a seller, well, you're probably sitting on a gold mine and laughing at the rest of us.
MARK: I'm definitely not laughing. I'm just looking at my bank account and wondering which organ I can live without. Anyway, that's the state of the city. Upland's still great, despite the prices, the thieves, and the tribute bands. It's our home, and we wouldn't trade it for anything... except maybe a beach house in Malibu and a billion dollars.
JOLEEN: Exactly. We love this place, even when it's being a massive pain in the ass. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Make sure you like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us how much you hate our voices. We thrive on the negativity, really. It's what keeps us going.
MARK: And don't forget, if you've got a story or just want to tell us off, email us at upland@thehappeningnetwork.com. We might even read your email on the air if it's funny enough. Until next time, stay gracious, Upland, and try not to let the sun melt your brain.
JOLEEN: Bye, bitches! See you next week.