Mr. & Mrs. Inglis

All aboard the chaos express! If you’ve got a ticket for this ride, you already know it. It’s the one where there’s never enough time in the day—kids’ schedules outpace yours, work demands keep piling up, and oh yeah, the laundry, dishes, mowing the lawn, and bills aren’t going to handle themselves. Let’s not forget staying connected with friends and family, even though you planned to be in bed by 9 pm…but it’s now 11 pm, and tomorrow starts before the sun does. Sound familiar?

We’re right there with you. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Inglis Podcast, hosted by Shaen and Meghan Inglis—a weekly show where we dive into real and honest conversations about the wild ride of raising kids, growing careers, and managing family and friendships in the middle of life’s beautiful chaos. So, grab your ticket and join us for a weekly dose of camaraderie, connection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.

Follow and subscribe to the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast and visit our channel and our website at shaeninglis.com to check out and follow our other podcasts. You can also follow Shaen and Meghan @ShaenInglis on Instagram, YouTube, or at shaeninglis.com. Feel free to share the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast with someone who would enjoy and benefit from our weekly discussions.

What is Mr. & Mrs. Inglis?

We’re right there with you. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Inglis Podcast, hosted by Shaen and Meghan Inglis—a weekly show where we dive into real and honest conversations about the wild ride of raising kids, growing careers, and managing family and friendships in the middle of life’s beautiful chaos. So grab your ticket and join us for a weekly dose of camaraderie, connection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.

Follow and subscribe to the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast and visit our channel and our website at shaeninglis.com to check out and follow our other podcasts. You can also follow Shaen and Meghan @ShaenInglis on Instagram, YouTube, etc. Feel free to share the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast with someone who would enjoy and benefit from our weekly discussions.

[MUSIC]

Do you think you'd be

interested in doing a podcast with me?

I mean, it's laughable.

No.

Like and subscribe.

But you're lame.

I'm not gonna do the time of day.

Oh, you think this is how you just waited

for 30 year old Megan?

Could not have done that.

It's meant to have happened.

I think football is made for snacking.

You've got to sleep for napping.

Yes.

The whole point of the sports.

You bet.

You're a 40-degree.

You're like 50-50 yoga and more.

50-50 yoga.

I am a female.

That's crazy.

Insane.

We all know who that person is.

We all have one of those.

The stupid of juggernaut has been the

term I've been talking about.

Your job will be posted

before you're obituary.

Money has nothing to do with happiness.

No.

I'll get to that one later.

Yeah.

Whether that's healthy or not, Tonya.

We basically work

anytime we are not at soccer.

[LAUGHTER]

Four track.

Episode 43, In the Books.

In the Books.

So here we go.

Chow, chow.

Nailed it.

Welcome to the Mr. and

Mrs. English Podcast.

I'm Megan.

And I'm Sean.

We're here to talk about the wild ride of

raising kids and growing careers, keeping

life together in the

middle of all the chaos.

So buckle up because we're all in this

crazy journey together.

La, la, land, bippity, boppity.

Boo.

Here we go.

I know.

Episode 43, hun.

Last year this time, did you ever think

you'd be doing an episode?

I mean, we had not considered doing a

podcast and now we're on episode 43.

43.

No, no.

I mean, I don't know

that I thought about that.

Although I'm trying to think like when

was it last year that

we started to think about

it?

It had to have been around this time.

Yeah.

I mean, it wasn't until after Christmas

that it really kind of

took shape, I think, because

I was working on morning cereal just

thinking because I've had

those people that don't know

I've had a bit of a career change.

I've kind of retired from baking and I've

been chasing dreams

that I've always wanted

to do something I'm passionate about.

And I'm loving it.

I haven't looked back one second.

It's been exciting.

But kind of in the midst of finding that

pathway and what I want to do, I've had a

little bit of that just I've got, what do

you want to call it?

A side to me that likes to create.

Yeah, I've got a creative side to me.

That's the easy way to say it.

For sure.

Yeah.

Whether it's making logos and artistic.

We talked about it a

little bit last week.

I had this whole thing of like somewhere

inside of me, I was like,

"Oh, I can be an actor."

I do not want to be an actor.

I do not want to be a, my intent is not

to be a podcast, we're a YouTuber.

But I thought this was something that

might be able to get out

some of my creative juices.

And put some good juju out there.

That's what morning

cereal is about to some degree.

Totally.

And we get a few thousand

people a week to tune into that.

I feel like I'm just

putting good jujus out there.

It's just a good message.

It's fun.

It's lighthearted for the most part.

And so that kind of came up, right?

When I was like,

"Well, what do I want to do?

Here's the things I like.

Here's some of the

things I think I would enjoy."

Right?

And it kind of came up slightly, but

surely because I was, I

was actually scared to be

like, "Hey, do you think you'd be

interested in doing a podcast with me?"

Because I honestly thought the answer

would be to immediately be, "No."

Not at all.

It's funny.

You were like approaching this.

Like, "How do I ask a girl on a date?"

Kind of a thing.

Like, "I'm going to put out some feelers.

Maybe she'll say yes.

Maybe she'll bite."

And then you were

surprised when I said yes.

Yeah.

I mean, you were

totally go for it though.

I mean, it was, there

was no talking you into it.

No.

It was almost as though

you were like, I was waiting.

I was wondering when you're going to ask.

I'm pretty good when

it comes to El Spico.

Speaking.

Speaking. Speaking. Speaking. Was that Spanglish you were speaking?

I'm not sure what it was.

We're not sure, but that's okay.

Yeah, no, I didn't think like, "Well,

when were you going to ask me?"

I was maybe surprised that

you wanted to do it with me.

And then it was like,

"Well, yeah, I'd love to.

This would be fun."

Yeah.

A lot of our friends and family were

like, "Oh, that would be great."

Because I think people think

automatically when you're

like, we don't even tell people

we have a podcast.

People find it out.

I know.

Just slowly but surely

through the grapevine, right?

It's not like we've gone out and be like,

"Hey, everybody, we've got a podcast.

Please smash that like button."

Yeah.

You know, we've never advertised it.

Right.

Like and subscribe.

Right, exactly.

That is definitely us.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

100%.

You know, but when people find out, it's

like, you know, I

think people were surprised

by it first off.

I think so too.

Secondly, you know, when they find out

we've got one in early on,

everybody was like, "Oh."

Well, because my point was people think,

"Well, you get a podcast

because you want it to take

off and you want to make, you know, a

million dollars a year.

That's what you want to do for a living."

Great.

If that happened, great.

That was not the intention.

No.

And probably not the reality.

Mm-hmm.

But that's the way everybody thought

about it at the beginning.

It's like, "Oh, that's why

you're doing a blah, blah, blah."

I was like, "Oh, Megan and I

are doing one, Mr. and Mrs."

And they're like, "Oh, that

one's going to be incredible.

That's the one that's going to take off."

You know?

And I was like, "Do

you know if it's taken?"

You were like, "Thanks."

The one I carry by myself is...

Like, is just brushed aside.

Yeah.

"Bustura."

Spanish for trash.

Man, you were Spanish.

It's just really kind of...

Yeah.

El Spico.

So, anyways, I just thought that was

funny because, you know,

it's that kind of thing.

That kind of thing that other

people knew we were doing it.

I was surprised you wanted to do it.

I think your family doesn't talk to us

about it, so I think they

just don't even know what

to do with it.

I don't know what...

Or they don't listen.

Well, you know, I thought about that.

I wouldn't...

Let's just say one of your siblings or

one of my siblings had a podcast.

Honestly, I am so busy that I probably

wouldn't take the time to listen to it.

Not because I was like, "Oh, you're lame.

I'm not going to give

you the time of day."

I actually thought about this.

Right.

I take zero offense that

people close to us don't.

I don't either.

People, friends, sidelined people don't

listen because, A, it's 45 minutes long.

True.

When do you...

I mean, I don't have 45 minutes, do you?

No.

Right.

We do this somewhat so we

can spend time together.

Exactly.

You know?

Exactly.

Even our own siblings, though, I don't

know that I would have

time to listen to their

45-minute podcast week in and week out.

I agree.

Right?

I don't know when we

would have time to do that.

Right.

The people that do it

are like, "Hey, great.

Thanks."

That's been a little bit of the hard

part, is just trying to keep things...

We could talk for hours.

Of course.

But we also want to talk about things

that would be somewhat

interesting for the people

that do listen to it.

Yeah.

We try to bring up topics.

We like to reminisce.

People, I think, think

some of the nostalgia part.

I think part of it is just trying to be

relatable because this is

a busy time of life that

everybody has to go through.

That's right.

If I'm being honest, I actually told the

two older kids this one

day, I was like, "I wasn't

prepared for just how

taxing and chaotic it would be."

I couldn't envision that.

What would be?

This phase of life and having pre-teens

and teenagers while

working a job, et cetera,

I...

Naively...

Probably because I just

didn't know any better.

I always heard parents of teenagers, they

would tell us when our

kids were babies, "Oh,

you think this is hard?

You just wait.

You just wait."

Yeah.

Now I'm like, "Oh, wow.

They told me just wait because they

couldn't actually put into words."

Yeah.

I mean, it's just how chaotic, how

taxing, but how wonderful it is.

That's the beauty of

this whole thing though.

This is a time that

everybody goes through.

Yes.

Right?

This is a stepping stone that everybody

that has chosen to have

children and is living

in a certain way, but in one way or

another, they step on this beach.

I can't think of a

better metaphor, right?

But they spend some time here.

They do.

Right?

And then they make their way through it.

Some of the older listeners, they've been

there, they've done it, and they're like,

"Yeah, I know.

Just wait.

Just wait till this, to wait till this."

Right?

Yeah.

Because it is true.

People look back and say, "Wait till you

see this," just like you said.

Right?

Like, "You thought that was

a hard way to get to this."

Yeah.

And very, I think,

apropos, we've named...

We've kind of named our

podcast after the chaos train.

Right.

This series, this beach of our life, this

part of our life, is just chaotic.

And we don't say it to be,

"We're more chaotic than you.

We're more chaotic than that person."

I think everybody that's in the same

stage of life, on the

same beach, is running crazy,

just like we are.

And I know a lot of people that are.

Oh, yeah.

I know people who are more so.

I know people who are less so, but it's

like, you have reached out.

It's like, this is just what

it is at this phase of life.

And that's one of the reasons why we

wanted to do this, because

it's like, we talk through

it and like, how do we get through all

the logistics of a day?

And how do we juggle spending time

equally with the kids?

How do we continue to invest time in our

marriage, but yet still

hold down jobs, launch new

careers, build a

house, for crying out loud?

It's building back that onion a little

bit, right, of all those

things that people take

on.

And I think I was just saying to you,

just right before we

came in here, I was like,

"Who would have thought when we were 25

years old, we'd be

doing what we're doing right

now?"

Right.

Or when we're 33 years old, doing what

we're doing right now.

Maybe even 39 years old.

I mean, that was still half

a decade or more ago for us.

Yeah.

And I don't mean from a career

standpoint, I don't mean

from an economic standpoint,

I just mean from a sheer, everything we

get done to keep going

in a day, just to keep

moving forward in life.

We've, there's no way that 30 year old

Sean or 40 year old

Sean, I think would have been

able to do what we're doing today.

No.

Right?

Do you feel that way?

Because you've had to lay it in.

Yeah, no.

And when I say no, I had

full confidence you could do it.

I could.

30 year old Megan.

Sean, you were really struggling.

You've always been my

rock and you know it.

I look at that like 30 year old Megan

could not have done that.

I just, I think about what I

thought a busy weekend was.

Yeah.

And you're like, it's laughable.

We used to take naps.

If you used to take naps, I never took

naps till I met you.

Before we had children

and then we took naps.

We took naps.

On weekends.

I was like, gosh, kind of sleepy.

I think I might fall asleep

during this football game.

Yeah.

What?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Golf is the best sport to sleep through.

I mean, they whisper even on the.

Yeah.

It's meant for that.

Football is made for snacking.

Golf is made for napping.

Yes.

Yeah.

Whole point of the sports.

Exactly.

You know, but you start thinking about

all those things that

we do now, which is just

crazy because once you get to this age

and everybody else is

here too, but it's like,

it's not just so family and

career kind of head that out.

Right.

So career, we're both worker.

We both work.

Yeah.

You know, we're both

corporate for a long time.

You're still corporate.

I'm now self-employed.

There's still a lot of pressure on that.

Yeah.

On both of us for many reasons, right?

We're so great.

We just have to bring in a

certain level of cash flow.

We know what our bills are, all that kind

of stuff, but you're

wanting to grow a career,

right?

So you're making a name for yourself.

You're checking the boxes in the

corporate world, which

we've talked about many times

before.

People on the sideline

don't know that side of Megan.

No.

And they didn't, they don't know that

side of Shawn either.

You know, they don't.

People in your personal life don't know

who you are in your professional life.

And, or, and I think it's

kind of nice to keep it that way.

Otherwise sometimes you're like, well,

you're a hoity twitty jerk.

Yeah.

But I know it's on a scale there though,

but like what

percentage of your time do you

think you're using on a weekly basis, a

hundred percent of your

time on a weekly basis goes

to a career towards career.

What effort is towards career?

Oh my gosh.

Knowing, knowing that you, you were,

you're working like 14,

15 hour days right now.

It's just, I've never seen you in a

busier season at work.

Yeah.

It's busy right now.

Yeah.

It is really busy and it comes at the

cost of sleep because I'm

not willing to sacrifice

family.

So it usually comes at the cost of sleep.

Yeah.

Um, so it's like, I'll say goodnight to

you and head to the office.

You know, I almost always work through a

soccer practice anymore.

It's just a foregone conclusion.

Um, you know, but I don't even know.

I don't know as a percent

of hours, what that equals.

It's a huge part of time.

Greater than 50.

Yeah, absolutely.

Probably 85.

Hey, you spent a lot

of waking hours working.

My point here is this

is just how busy life is.

So I mean, like

literally it's 85% of your time.

Let's just even round down to 80% of your

time is on your career.

Yeah.

Which is incredibly

important to both of us.

Right.

I've probably spent about the same time.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

You do.

If not more sometimes.

The best of it's on yoga.

I'm about 50, 50 yoga and work.

50, 50 yoga and work.

Uh, no, I'm kidding.

Obviously.

Although yoga would be nice to

fit in at some point in time.

Yoga would be really

nice to fit in sometime.

Yeah.

So, but, but career is always secondary

to, I mean, our family.

But yet we were spending just inordinate

amounts of unbalanced time doing that.

Now I know that pays the

bills and all that kind of stuff.

And that's what, yeah.

40 hour work weeks or 80 hour work weeks.

Yeah.

That's how we put food on the table and

buy new soccer shoes for

these kids that are $300

each now people.

That's crazy.

Insane.

Side bit here.

My shoes, when I played basketball in

high school, were like

110 bucks, which was a ton

of money.

I got flights.

I couldn't afford Air Jordans or Jordans

like 135 back then or

something like that, which

I don't know that they've changed much.

I'm not in the market for Air Jordans

anymore, but they're

probably closer to $200 now I

would guess.

Yeah.

Right.

Which is an expensive shoe.

It's an expensive shoe.

Right.

Now I've had some expensive work shoes.

Sure.

You know that when you walk down a hall,

everybody knows you're

there because you're, because

you click, click, click, click.

Yeah.

I don't know that I've ever owned a pair

of $300 shoes and we

buy our kids $300 shoes

every six months.

I am a female who actually

worked in fashion basically.

I still have never had

a $300 pair of shoes.

Yeah.

200.

Yeah.

Well, I don't think

Target's carrying manila blanks.

No, no, but I did.

Did I say that right?

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

Manila Blonix.

Oh, Balonix.

I got the blanks.

That's great.

I pulled that out.

You're good.

And you owned it.

Sorry.

I had to pat myself on

the back and I exposed it.

I thought it was really good.

Anyways, that was a side note too, to the

fact that, what was the side note to?

I interrupted our main train of thought.

Oh, just how you put food on the table

and you pay for all this stuff, right?

Oh, yeah, made paper

shoes and stuff like that.

So, I just think of all the things that

we layer on that

everybody that's watching this

at some point is going to do or is in the

middle of, is already done, career.

It's just huge.

We are in the highest

earning years of our lives.

Yup.

Right?

Mid 40s to mid 50s.

Yeah.

To late 50s maybe.

And I walked away from a very good career

to do another career.

Yeah.

So, that's been a scary road for us this

last year, but I think

we're going to be good.

Right.

So, career.

That's huge for us.

The ebbs and flows of that are stressful.

It is.

Like, the pressure of a day is, I mean, I

do try to balance and

walk away and not let

the pressure of a day of, "Oh, this was a

mistake," or even

just the expectations of,

"Hey, so and so needs this and they need

it now," and those types of things.

And being able to just shut that down

immediately because there is pressure.

Shut it down so that your kids don't see

it, so that you don't see it.

Yeah.

And you're really good at doing that.

I'm not really as good at doing that.

I carry things with me too long.

You can be like, "I'll put this little

one in a compartment

right up here for it and

I'll get to that later."

I'll get to that one later.

Yeah.

Whether that's a healthy or not, that's

another question I think.

I think you're probably right.

I think the thing that helps with that

though sometimes is I

had a buddy I used to work

with, Mark, in Unihome Talk.

Yeah.

He'll know if he sees this or whatnot,

but he used to always

say, "Hey, look, if I get

to buy a bus tomorrow,

the bank's going to open.

My clients are going to

still conduct business.

Things will go on."

And so when things really get pushed,

comes to shove

sometimes, it's like, "You know

what?

If you need to walk away for an hour,

walk away because the

company's going to be okay."

Yeah.

I saw one time they were like, "Your job

will be posted before you're obituary."

And you're like, "Oh."

That is true.

That is very true.

Yeah.

And it was helpful when I

worked for Target Corporation.

We had a saying, and it was just like,

"We just sell Tide."

That's all we do.

I don't have someone's heart in my hands.

Their life is depending

on me to keep them alive.

Life's good.

It'll be fine.

We just sell Tide.

It's going to be okay in the end.

Yeah.

And that was similar.

That's how all jobs, but everybody gets

very serious when it

comes to their job because

people find value in that, and that's

part of the career thing, right?

You want to economically, you want to

provide for your family.

Yes.

And you feel that you're adding a value

that you can be proud of.

Right.

Those are huge things.

A lot of people don't ... We've been

lucky enough to kind of

hit those, check those boxes

in our careers and have an economic

incentive that's been nice.

But that aside, or along with that, like

everybody else is doing,

we're at those ages too where

we have to plan for retirement.

Yeah.

Right?

And I remember, I touched on this just

barely before, but I

remember being in 30s.

And I was in my young 30s, I think, when

I started one of my first

companies and we liquidated

some of our savings, our 401ks and

everything to start that,

to fund that business, which

was great.

It was a good business, but it drained

our coffers a little bit, right?

And so then we got back to the corporate

world after selling that

company and it was like,

"I really need to think

about how we're saving."

And then at that point in time, I was

doing all these numbers and crunching.

Yeah.

And I remember saying,

"I think we're behind."

Yeah.

And we make too much money to be behind.

And this was 15, 20 years ago almost now.

Oh, at least.

Yeah.

At least, yeah.

Yeah.

Sometimes I lose track of time.

I'm only 27, I think.

But at this point in time, this is when

you're crunching those

numbers constantly of trying

to figure out, "Okay, I

got to save enough money.

How long do I want to work for?

What kind of lipo I

want to have when I retire?

Can I retire?

Yeah.

How much can I pay for my children?

Can I pay for my

children and go to college?

I got to save for a wedding."

Again, I don't know how everybody does it

because we live

modestly to some degree for

what we make.

And maybe it's because we

didn't grow up with money.

I think it's because of money.

Again, we're not Bill Gates here.

You know what I mean?

We're very average Joe.

But you have to weigh those things with,

"Okay, what are the next steps though?"

And at some point, you got to really

weigh that out of, "Okay, I need to save.

I need to put this behind.

I need to put one case.

Oh, I need other assets.

Oh, equities."

Yeah.

And you're like, "All

these different things."

So these are all these things now.

Now you've got a portfolio.

And when you're 33, you always hear about

people that are in

their 50s and are like,

"Oh, I've got a portfolio."

"Oh, I'm so cool.

I have a portfolio."

But you do.

And you also, now we have a

will and we have a living test.

You know what I mean?

All these things.

So these are the things

that we're layering in.

I want to pause just to

see what am I missing.

Obviously, the

children's a whole other thing.

The family one, which is the second most

important that we were talking about.

I mean, think about all the

things that we do with that.

Just constantly learning.

That's real time.

Oh, that is real time

on the job training.

Training all the time.

All the time.

Yeah.

Like, I realize there's a lot of

parenting books, but

you're like, "Gosh, how would I

have known that I needed to read that my

eighth grader was going to

lose a teammate suddenly?"

How do I help him through that loss?

Like a passing.

Right.

Yeah.

Death.

Yeah.

Exactly.

If they don't tell you then, sure,

there's a book out there.

You just didn't know you

needed to read that book.

And it's hard to find

time to read those books.

I actually have bought a

couple books to be a better dad.

You have a couple

sitting on your nightstand.

Yeah, just right on the nightstand.

And I've made it through half of some and

I've read other ones and whatnot.

But yeah, but it's hard

to find time to do that.

We all want to be better.

Yeah.

But it's really, really hard.

And that's part of that,

everything you're juggling.

Exactly.

Because it's like you don't want to lose

touch of who you

thought Megan was going to be.

Who did 25-year-old Megan

think she was going to be?

Who did 35-year-old Megan

think she's going to be?

And are you on that path?

If I am completely honest with you, yes.

I bet you are.

You're like, "I don't doubt that at all."

I have everything I

could have ever wanted.

Yeah.

And you're the person you wanted to be.

I'm not talking about material things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm actually talking about all the

immaterial things, right?

Yeah, right.

I'm not saying that I don't have stress

and things that I'm

like, "Well, that sucks."

You know, like in my life.

That's not the case.

But on the whole, am I happy?

Am I satisfied?

Am I who I thought I would be?

Yeah, I am.

Like if I really dig down, I'm honest.

I'm like, "Yeah, I am."

And that's kind of cool.

Are you?

I'll come back to that.

I'll answer that for you.

But I mean, when you're like 25 and

you're going through these

corporate training sessions

or at school or 35, they always give you,

"What's your two-year plan?

What's your five-year plan?

What's your 10-year plan?"

You know what I mean?

So clearly, you're kind of checking the

boxes on some of those plans.

But today, you should

have a three-year plan.

You should have a

five-year plan, a 10-year plan.

You're kind of just...

Do you have that still?

Or is life moving so fast that you're

just trying to keep up with it?

You do have it.

I do.

And I think...

I tell people this at work.

I'm like, "I have taken

intentional steps aside.

I've taken steps back in my career to...

I mean, when I started with my current

company 15 years ago,

we had just had a baby.

I was on maternity leave."

I'm like, "I can't be in management."

I had been.

I was like, "I don't have time.

I want to raise my family."

You were traveling all

the time, worked downtown.

I was like, "I need to be closer to home,

closer to the baby."

I took a step back.

I'm like, because it

didn't matter at that point.

That was the right

step to make at that time.

And I think there's

going to still be pauses

and step on the gas

pieces of my career left

for whatever time I have left to work.

Now, do I have the exact timing?

I actually joked the

other day with someone.

I was like, "I cannot take a promotion

until I have a driver in the house."

Until we are no longer outnumbered.

A third driver, yeah.

Yeah, a third driver in the house.

Because it is what it is.

I'm like, "We have to step aside.

We have to step out of

our jobs to go pick up kids

and get them to practice."

I mean...

Yeah.

I don't know how people do that.

I mean, we talk about this

kind of stuff all the time,

but it's astonishing to me the way that

school is set up here in Texas at least.

I mean, they clearly plan on at least one

parent not having a job.

Definitely.

With everything that they schedule.

And the times that they schedule?

It's incredible.

Even sports are early.

In practice, it's after school, but 6

o'clock or 6.15 an hour away.

And again, if I left the office at 5 and

I got home at 5.45, best case,

pick up the kid, leave, best case

scenario over there at 6.50 maybe,

and practice started at 35 minutes ago.

Right.

I don't even know how that computes.

There was a time when all

jobs like that as you get older,

you just had that more flexibility,

I would struggle to believe that your dad

or mine had flexibility

like that at their job.

Guys, I'm going to be taking off at 3.15

every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday

because it's my time to pick up the kids.

You know what I mean?

No way.

Right.

And I mean, even when I was early in the

corporate world, that wasn't a thing.

Yeah.

I don't know of my colleagues.

Again, I was younger, so I probably had a

younger group around me.

But I did know some parents, it's not

like they were headed out at, you know,

3.45 or 4 o'clock in the afternoon to go

do things with their kids.

That's only been in the last five to

seven years, I feel like.

I don't know if it's COVID, but COVID I

think exaggerated it.

It did.

Right.

For everybody now, we'll do those lines.

We'll do those lines a little bit more.

But I mean, that was especially in

banking and finance.

I was never, I mean, like, you know, it

was always the last

man standing was the best

guy, you know?

I know.

Yeah.

And now I think, I don't know, I think

the balance, the

differences now, like, we talk

about how much time we spend working.

We could also probably spend a little bit

of time and double-click into like,

how much time did I spend in my workday

texting about carpooling,

scheduling appointments,

adjusting our calendar, responding to

parent or teacher emails,

like, looking at the kids'

grades, making sure, you know, putting

money to their lunch account.

I mean, I do that during the

day, that during my workday.

Yeah.

So do I feel then like I'm being cheated

if I have to spend an

extra hour at night working

to make up that time that I wasn't, you

know, like, no, not at

all, because I was like,

I really was probably doing all of those

things for an hour today.

And that's what's blurred big time too.

And I don't know if other people are like

this, I'm guessing

quite a few probably are,

especially on our soccer teams, because I

mean, it is like,

those lines are so blurred,

but it just has become natural for us and

our household at least, that we basically

work anytime we are not at soccer.

Or track.

Or basketball now.

And basketball now, yeah.

Our daughter made the basketball team.

Yay, way to go.

Yeah, it was awesome.

It was.

First kid playing

basketball, which is awesome.

I couldn't care less if they played or

not, but it was kind of cool.

She wanted to do it all on her own.

She did.

I had never played before either, and I

thought she killed it.

She crushed it.

Yeah.

She crushed it.

It was awesome.

Defensive juggernaut has been

the term I've been throwing.

And she came off

feeling good about herself.

And basketball is not easy.

There's a lot to still learn.

But to come off feeling good about your

first time out, I

mean, I can't ask for more.

She's enjoying it.

She's proud of what she's

been able to accomplish.

I love it.

Can't wait to see what the season brings.

Yeah.

For sure.

Right.

But what was I saying?

Again, I threw a tantrum.

Oh, how we're working if we aren't doing

one of those things.

If we're not doing one of those things,

then we're probably working.

I mean, then we're probably working.

We're sitting on the couch watching, you

know, NFL football with

our laptops on our thing.

I mean, there is no division.

Whereas at 25, 35, maybe even 40 years

old, I mean, it was

like, you know, at five, six

o'clock rolls around, pop

that thing down and I'm off.

I'm not even thinking about it.

Yeah.

It's right.

Like, I think part of that

is that work from home thing.

You know, if you are working from home,

it's like, what did that even?

I just saw an email come through.

I should probably check it.

And but it is so then

hard to protect couples time.

It's hard to protect your own time.

Family time.

I mean, all of it.

It's just like I was telling someone the

other day, I was like,

there is not one minute in

my day that's unaccounted for where I'm

like, what should I do?

I might just sit here, you know, like not

even one minute

between five, 45 and 11, 15.

That's right.

The best day for you this whole year.

I want one of the best

days for you the whole year.

Right.

Oh my God.

It was two weeks ago.

It was.

So my company gives a wellness day.

I think we may have talked about this.

Oh, did we?

I don't remember.

I don't know.

But it is a day that the company gives

everybody and it's picked on me.

I usually last Friday of the month or

last Friday of October.

So it's a day when people who have

children, their kids are

in school so they don't have

to take care of their kids.

I mean, or less they want to.

Right.

It is truly a wellness day for you to do

however you want to do it.

Go for a walk.

I mean, they give suggestions.

Go for a walk.

Like whatever makes you feel good.

And because everybody in the company does

it, you don't get emails.

I mean, it's like, it's like

Thanksgiving, right?

Like everybody gets Thanksgiving off.

And so you're not because if you take a

day off, you still get emails all day.

That was the key.

If you work piling up, you don't have

work piling up because everybody's off.

Yeah.

And I didn't understand that until I was

like, why don't you just

take every other, why don't

you take more Fridays

off so you get this?

Because everybody else is working and

your phone was just

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Yeah.

So that's fantastic.

They give you those.

So it is like another

Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Yeah.

Those few holidays where only that one

person showing off is sending an email.

Exactly.

We all have one of those.

I'm not that person.

But that to me, I look

forward to that day all year.

And I mean, sure, I get the chance to

actually take all the kids

to school in the morning.

Why not?

Like usually get a

Starbucks, put together a puzzle.

Like, what?

It's amazing.

Yeah.

So those are some of those things as

you're kind of just

peeling back that onion, just

all the things that you do at this age.

And it's just how you just

keep putting more and more on.

And now we're getting to that point where

we're putting even more on.

I think one of these next levels we're

doing is preparing the kids for college.

Yeah.

Right.

And there's just so much more to it.

Again, we're blessed to

have athletic children.

So searching for an athletic scholarship

and academic

scholarship is something that

we're going to be doing.

Yeah.

And all the, I mean, it's

nothing that we didn't know, right?

We have friends who

have gone through this.

I went to a college recruiting thing that

they were putting on to just help prepare

parents and students for kind of what to

expect, especially if

you are a student athlete.

And I mean, it is very involved of what

you have to do and when

you have to start doing

it and it's like, okay, well, we're

adding another full-time job.

Just don't put that on there.

And it's night and day from when we were

in college at least.

Oh, yeah.

Going to college.

Yeah.

So, it's just so much more to it.

And it's one of those things that I feel

a little bit like on the line.

Yeah.

Right?

Because it's, you have to have all this

stuff that you do this, and it reveals that, and

it videos this. And so a bit, unfortunately, and people with teenagers have to understand that or have teenagers, it's just so much more important. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. And I think that's what we're doing. Yeah.

I can't do all that.

No.

You know what I mean?

And that, I mean, I heard the phrase long

ago, like, we're actually raising adults.

And here's where it's like, you hope that

some of those seeds

have landed because they

have to take control in

an active role in this.

This is no longer, mom,

hey, can you do this for me?

Dad, can you do that for me?

Which is one reason why it's like, I

mean, I don't ever talk

to my kids, teachers at

this point anymore.

Maybe the sixth grader.

But like, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I

shouldn't be doing that.

You should be doing that because you're

going to have to talk to a

college recruiter or your

professor or your boss.

I can't do it.

Yeah.

But now it's that point too where it's

just, it's scary because I've told you before you

say it to the kids. Like I've taught you

everything you need to know.

Yeah.

You know what's right and what's wrong.

You know the things that we want you to

be, you know, for the

spirit and kind hearted

and what we need to know.

You know it all.

It's just now up to you whether or not you're going to go out there and do that or not.

I know. And you don't have to be perfect. You're going to make mistakes. But I mean, it's just scary for someone who likes to have control over things. I can rarely admit that all the other people are free, but I do like to have control over things. I'm just going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to send our children out there without,

you know, I mean like,

please make good decisions.

and our children out

there without, you know,

I mean, like, please make good decisions.

And I know they're

not gonna make perfect,

they're not gonna be perfect.

Right, right, but--

But today, I just feel like it's just,

it's just so much

easier to screw up, you know,

and have something in a digital format

that'll haunt you for a long time.

Yeah, it's, yeah, the

repercussions, I feel like,

are just so paramount, and

that is yet another thing

that gets added onto the plate of,

you're parenting,

you're learning in real time,

but you're also trying to walk

that fine line of letting go,

but yet staying close

enough, like, and again, I,

I don't know, it's frightening,

because you don't know how you're doing.

Yeah, yeah. It's like--

Yeah, and that's like the

second most important thing.

I know we're bouncing

around here a little bit,

because career takes up the most time.

Family's the most

important thing, you know,

but then you find

yourself getting interested

in other things too, like, I know,

I would not have called

myself a political person,

you know, in my 20s, or

even my 30s really, that much,

you know what I mean? I know, yeah.

Into my 40s, I don't know

if this just comes with age

or what it is, you know,

but I know polysci interest

whatsoever, in college

or anything like that.

Some people do at

that age, which is great,

but, you know, I

don't know if it's because

you get to a certain age,

where I'm getting at here,

is starting to care

about politics, right?

And I don't know if

you get to a certain age,

and you're like, you know

what, I grew up in a certain world,

and I wanna make sure my kids can grow up

in the same kind of world that I did,

with the same

opportunities that I had, right?

So I don't know if

that's why parents, you know,

are adults at a certain age.

Sometimes I see people get

more political as they get older.

Yeah. Is that a natural--

I think so, I've noticed it too.

You know, in myself, I mean, I was never

a political person at all,

and I think part of it is,

as you grow in your career, it is, like,

not knowing the current environment that

you're operating in,

like, is not acceptable

anymore, you have to know that,

but I think part of it is the kids,

and like, how do I preserve and protect

a good life for them?

But I also think it

just comes with wisdom,

and it's less about, I

mean, think about the 20,

in your 20s, you're

still very self-centered,

you're still very, like, focused on you,

and as you get older, your

perspective opens so much more.

Part of it is because of

the kids and the community

that you find yourself

in, that all of a sudden,

you care way more about

things outside of your own home.

Yeah, there's a, I can't

even think of the name of it

right now, but that's the pyramid, right,

of self-discovery and self-efficacy,

I don't know what it is, but

you take of your basic needs,

that's the biggest one.

Once you hit your basic

needs, you go on to the next one,

right, which are things

that you don't have to have,

but you like to have.

The very top of that is altruism, right,

which means you feel

like you've got everything

you've needed taken care of, and that

doesn't mean economic,

just means, sometimes it is economic,

but it doesn't have to be, right,

but at the top of that is altruism,

which means you actually understand

that taking care of

everybody helps take care of you.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

And that's kind of where

you're going with that,

I think people do get

that way as they get older,

where it's like, okay, this world's

bigger than just me.

Yeah.

If we can, if we can all work together,

maybe we can make the world the place

that we want it to be.

Yeah, yeah.

And I think that's the

way it kind of used to work.

I don't know if it's used to work,

because you can go through

history the last 250 years,

and it's been ups and downs.

Sure, sure.

Irregardless of what

side you're on right now,

it's an up and down time right now, too.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

But it's crazy, that's just

another one of those things

that as you start, when you're 25,

you don't think about all these things

that you're just

really trying to deal with

and how to handle it.

Politically, it's funny,

because now nobody talks about it, right?

You know who it's safe to talk to

and who it's not safe to talk to about

politics these days.

And that's kind of what people do.

I hope it changes as we get older,

or as we get further along at some point,

these parties are gonna

have to get their acts together

so that we can get back

to having good arguments

and shaking hands and having dinner.

In Washington, but that's

just another one of those things

that as you get older, you

just kind of just keep layering

in all this stuff.

And then you start thinking about,

I mean, I don't know,

am I missing anything yet

that just jumping off the thing for you?

I don't think so.

But I'm not quite there

yet, but legacy, right?

Is something because our

kids are getting to an age

where they're gonna

leave our house soon, right?

And they were talking earlier, it's like,

I hope you have everything

that you could possibly have had

that we could provide you with, right?

And I hope it's enough to

just give you that inertia

and that push and that

inner fire or whatever it is,

just to go out there

and just enjoy your life.

Exactly. Right, crush it.

Like we've told our kids,

like, all I want you to be

is be someone that, I want

you to be happy and kind.

And I want you to give

something to society.

Find whatever you're good at.

Whatever, you know, I

don't wanna say makes you happy

because I think that's a

little bit of a misnomer,

like, you know what I mean?

Drawing in the sand makes me happy.

Well, you gotta do more

than draw in the sand.

Right. You know what I mean?

But, you know, add some

value, find a way to add value,

find your way to add value

to society in an economic way.

And you'll find, you'll

get some sense of self worth

back from that and be kind and be happy.

That's all I want from them.

Yes, yes. For them.

I know, like.

But then, you know, once,

that's kind of our job to get that done.

And there's a lot we can

do as parents after that.

Yeah. You know?

And that'll be

interesting because, you know,

that gets into that

whole discussion of like,

well, how are our parents

and how are they with us now?

And how do we wanna be different?

Everybody wants to be a different parent

than their parents were to some degree.

Some degree. Or improve on this,

or improve on that or whatever.

Right, right.

I mean, it's very few

people who are like exactly like,

I wanna be just like

this parent, you know?

I was like, oh no, I really

liked how my parents did this.

And that's not a dig on the parents.

No, not at all. It's just everybody's

individual and, right.

Our kids are gonna do

the same thing to us.

Be like, oh my gosh, my

mom was awful at this,

so I'd like to improve on that, you know?

Like, it's okay. Right, right.

But she was really good at this

and I wanna do that the same way.

Yeah. I expect that.

Yeah, exactly. And I hope that.

That's true because I

think being a parent

more than anything,

like you do have to be

somewhat authentic to who you are.

I mean, yes, you have to be a

disciplinarian sometimes,

even if that's not where it comes,

naturally, but you still have to be that.

But at the same time,

your kids are gonna know

your authentic self

through how you parent them.

Yeah, and I think that's something

that I've worked really hard on

and I know you're working on it.

You're good at it, but

there are some aspects

you're working on, but

I've been very honest

with our kids of, hey,

look, this is who I am.

I'm not perfect.

I'm not trying to pretend I am.

We're all humans.

It's trying to show them

it's okay not to be perfect

because we've talked about it.

We have super high

expectations in our house,

whether it's academic,

whether it's athletic,

whatever it is, all kinds of things.

We have high expectations,

but we don't expect you to be perfect.

No. You know what I mean?

And the way I show

them that is by leading.

I'm not perfect either.

Right, right. You know what I mean?

And I'm not trying to,

I'm not trying to, what

am I trying to say here?

I'm not trying to subtly suggest

that I've got major issues.

I don't, I've got life

together fairly well,

but I'm not perfect.

You know what I mean?

With our kids, like, do I

overreact to things sometimes?

Yeah.

If I'm in a bad mood, do I take it on

other people sometimes?

Yeah.

And those are the things that we go back

and we're like, hey, I messed up.

I was mad about this at work.

You kinda, you forgot to do your thing.

You've had to throw trash

away, and I took it out on you.

I mean, it's something that

wasn't that big of a deal.

Right.

So those are the things that I feel like,

you know, like, we do

try very hard to be real.

Yeah.

You know, like with emotions,

and that's something you kinda work on

is trying to show emotions to them.

Right.

It's not always just perfect.

It's not always perfect, yeah.

Yeah, it's okay to be sad.

It's okay to be frustrated.

It's okay, you know.

Yeah.

So it's that legacy though is

where I was going with that.

It's like, that next stage is like,

what are we leaving behind?

We're leaving hopefully

some very well-adjusted,

happy, well, you know, successful kids.

Yeah.

You know, and successful in whatever way

that defines their success.

Their success, exactly.

You know.

Exactly.

I think that's, that is huge,

and now is the time

when we start thinking

about that more and more.

Yeah.

Because it's, I mean,

you start counting down

of like the utter shock and awe of like,

we only have two more years left,

or two and a half

years left with that child

before they leave the house.

And your children, even

after they leave the house,

are still your children.

And it doesn't mean that

you don't have time with them,

but that time changes

entirely after they leave your home.

I know.

I'm just not ready.

I've said it a million times on here.

I'm just not ready for it yet.

But you know, he hasn't,

you know, soiled the nest yet.

You know what I mean?

That's right.

I can't imagine.

I mean, he gets more attitude than the

necessary sometimes.

But you know, within,

I think, expectations.

Yeah.

But he also can be like,

he just will blow your expectations away

when you're like, oh my

gosh, you just completely,

or the sweetest human

being, or whatever it was,

like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you

because you did that.

Right.

And the other part of

that's hard for them,

just leaving the house,

is just knowing that I

saw this the other day.

Like we've known it,

but I've seen the stats

and it's coming out a

little bit more to you

that this will likely

be the first generation

that won't be able to improve

upon their parents' economic status.

I mean, that's been the

case for multiple generations,

in modern era, basically.

And this will be the first generation

that really finds difficult to improve.

And that's something that

would be difficult, I think.

And I've already tried

to lay seeds for this,

being like, hey,

look, you have two parents

that have been successful in their

careers to some degree.

And don't feel like you have

to live in a house like this.

If you don't live in a house

like this when you grow up,

that's okay.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like, just want you to be happy again.

Just want you to be happy.

Just be kind and happy.

You know what I mean?

Find success in your own way.

Has nothing to do

with that kind of stuff.

Money has nothing to do with happiness.

We were just talking about the other day,

like I don't think it was on this,

but we were talking about the other day,

like we could be billionaires.

We could be billionaires.

And the things that make

us mad on a daily basis,

money wouldn't change.

Nope, nope.

I would still be annoyed

at X, Y, or Z, you know?

Like--

It wouldn't change any of those things.

No, it wouldn't.

So money's just not the answer.

It makes life easier, buys fun toys.

All that's true, but it's not the answer.

You have to be okay before.

There's plenty of

people that have got money

one way or another,

and they're miserable.

That's exactly right.

Or they lose it because

they don't want to handle it.

Anyways, I just thought

it was interesting today

to talk through that, but

am I missing anything else?

I don't think so.

Okay.

I think you nailed it.

I nailed it, yes.

Nailed it. We did, nailed it.

Well, we're squeezing

this in between a pickup

and a takeoff.

Yep, that's exactly right.

That's exactly right.

Because the chaos train keeps going.

The chaos train is not stopping.

It doesn't stop.

It slows down so you

can like hop on board,

but yeah, it doesn't stop.

I think there's been a

couple times where I'm like,

"Here, we're gonna hit me."

I'll catch the next one, I guess.

It's just so chaotic.

That is funny.

I feel that way.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, well, I guess

we gotta think of our words.

Yeah.

Mine's kinda weird.

Okay, I was gonna say, I

don't think I have any.

Yeah, I don't know that

I do either, but I know.

One, two, three.

Tetris. Autumn.

Tetris is a really good one.

Oh, so tell me about Autumn.

No, it's just the time of

the year, similar to yours.

Yours last year was the drink.

Pumpkin spice. Oh, yeah,

pumpkin spice, yeah.

Mine's Autumn, you

know, we've got the scents

in the house, we've

got seasonal decorations,

we had cold weather this

week, it's just starting to feel

a little bit like Autumn.

Which is a great

season, I love this season.

I know the kids do too, so.

Oh my gosh, it's like

all the anticipation

and we're coming up on

Thanksgiving and Christmas

oh my gosh, it really

is, it is an awesome time.

Trying to fight off sinus infections,

it's a great season. It's a great season.

It's a great season.

But Tetris for you.

Tetris, I feel like last

week, this week, next week,

it is just about fitting it all in.

100%, that would work for me too.

I mean, I could, I could, what is it?

Same same. Same same.

Yeah. Same.

Same, yeah.

(laughing) Yeah, there's a lot of

just gotta get that done,

gotta get that done.

I am in that mode right now, I'm in mind

where it's just like,

just gotta put my

head down and keep going.

One foot in front of the other.

Yep. Can't stop, just gotta go.

Cause at some point

we're gonna get to a spot

where I can't take a

breath, but it's nice to me.

Nope, hopefully over Thanksgiving break.

For the next day.

(laughing)

Yeah, I feel like I

look at my outlet calendar

and I'm like, okay,

Tetris, let me move this

so I can accommodate this and let me

switch that on its side.

I can get it in here.

Well, let me know if

there's anything I can do

or let me know if there's anything

these people can do for you.

They can.

We'll call them friends and family.

We'll call them, it takes a village.

Yeah, delivered dinners

would be great, lasagna.

(laughing)

I actually know lasagna kids.

They need to, I love lasagna.

I love lasagna. I like it so good.

Make it again, they might like it now.

Oh, they might.

How do we have kids

that don't like pasta?

Where is my mic?

I don't know.

Well, let's let these people go.

Episode 43, in the books.

In the books, so here we go, chow chow.

All right, we'll see ya.

Bye.

I was trying to get you out of there.

Yeah, all right, thank you.

(upbeat music)

Do you think you'd be interested

in doing a podcast with me?

(laughing)

I mean, it's laughable.

No.

Like and subscribe.

But you're lame.

I'm not gonna give you the time of day.

Oh, you think this is hard.

You just waited.

30 year old Megan

could not have done that.

It's meant for napping.

Football is made for snacking.

You got this made for napping.

Yes.

Yeah.

Whole point of the sports.

Exactly.

Like, well, you're a weighty-dwee.

Sure.

I'm like 50-50 yoga and work.

50-50 yoga and work.

I am a female.

That's crazy.

Insane.

We all know who that person is.

We all have one of those.

Deep it's a juggernaut has been the term

I've been through.

Your job will be posted

before you're obituary.

Money has nothing to do with happiness.

No, I'll get to that one later.

Yeah, whether that's

healthy or not, it's all over.

We basically work

anytime we are not at soccer.

(laughing)

Or track.

All right.

Episode 43, "In the Books."

"In the Books."

So, here we go.

Chow, chow.

All right, yeah.

Nailed it.

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