Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Find Your True North is the podcast for new students at the University of Aberdeen. Starting university is such an exciting time, but there’s a lot to take in! From settling into university life, to making friends, accessing help and support, and also getting to know the city of Aberdeen.
In this podcast, we meet current students at the University of Aberdeen, get the lowdown on what it’s really like from day one, and pick up some tips and advice to make your time in Aberdeen as amazing as it should be.
Episode 2 – Fitting In
This is Find Your True North, a podcast from the University of Aberdeen. Episode two fitting in.
CLIP
I was really worried about coming in. Like being alone. But you realize that everyone is in the same boat. Everywhere that I've gone, any person that I've met has been super friendly. Really nice. Inviting.
NOUR
Hey guys, I'm Noah and welcome back to Find Your True North, a podcast for new students here at the University of Aberdeen. In this series, we're meeting current students and talking through what it's like to start and settle here at Aberdeen. And every student, including myself, will tell you that one of the biggest concerns people have when they start is making friends and meeting people. So in this episode, we'll look at all the different ways you can make friends, meet people, and find your crowd at uni.
CLIP
Group chats and coffee mornings and trips to the pub even. It's a really great way to interact. So there's less pressure doing things over DMs and stuff.
NOUR
What's it really like when you start? How do you meet people and socialise? And in that first year, what can you do to make new friends and build friendships? I met with Charlotte, who's a current student here in Aberdeen, and found out how it worked for her.
Hello, Charlotte. Thank you so much for joining us today. So tell me, when you started here, did you know anyone already at Aberdeen? What was your story?
CHARLOTTE
Um, so I knew no one. I knew absolutely no one. Um, I think that's probably one of the things that really appealed to me about coming to University of Aberdeen. I mean, it's so far away from home. I live in Cumbria, so it's about a six hour train journey up to Aberdeen. So quite a distance. And I don't know, it really appealed to me the fresh start and you know, one completely different city. I grew up in a smaller town and yeah. So it really appealed to me. Coming to University Aberdeen having a fresh start. There was no stereotypes about me. There was no it was just a complete fresh start. I could make friends and I could just be who I wanted to be.
NOUR
Yeah. It's really interesting that you said that. Kind of starting off a whole new life is appealing to you, because I think that's what everyone is terrified of when they first join uni, kind of leaving home, leaving their comfort zone and kind of stepping out and basically being whoever they want to be in a completely different environment. So was there a moment where you felt a bit out of your comfort zone?
CHARLOTTE
I think on the first two days, like I didn't make that many friends. I knew my flatmates and I think I did definitely really struggle when I got to uni. It was kind of like a shock because everyone talks about freshers week, everyone talks about going to uni and making all these friends, having a wild time, going out every night. And I remember the first two days it was just kind of like, what is this? I felt a bit lonely, but I remember just putting myself out there. I went to a flat party a couple of doors down from me and it was a horrible flat. It was so boring. There was barely anyone there. The music. There was just. It was all just Taylor Swift. There was a bunch of girls and they weren't really speaking to each other. And I remember just feeling really out of my depth. But I introduced myself to a few people, and then I ended up making friends with them, and then they invited me to theirs after, and I was able to make friends with more people. And some of those people ended up becoming my flatmates in second year. Like, it's crazy how just things happen for a reason, kind of work together. Yeah, yeah. And just putting yourself out there. As scary as it was, I was terrified. I knew, didn't know what to expect. And I remember making that initial leap of going to this flat party, and I remember just thinking, I regret this so much. But in the long term, I really do not regret making that decision at all.
NOUR
Kind of think that's how it worked for me as well? Because when I moved here, I moved as an international student. So I moved like hours by plane away from home, and I had to force myself, even if it wasn't fun, even if it was something completely lame. I had to force myself to be there just to kind of put myself out there. Did you actively try to meet new people or do you think it happened more naturally?
CHARLOTTE
I think my true friends, it did definitely happen more naturally, but I feel like at the start, you do definitely just need to put yourself out there. And I feel like, like you said, like you felt lame, don't you? You've got this lame feeling sometimes of being like, hi, I'm Charlotte, like, I'm from Cumbria. Like, where are you from? I felt like a complete outsider. Yeah. But then look at us now. Fourth year students. I think you need to pressure yourself and put yourself out there to get to really get what you want and make connections with people. But like by putting yourself out there, you do end up forming some amazing bonds with people. Like you might not be the person that you initially went up to and introduce yourself to, but from there you will make other friends and now you will know exactly true friends, proper friends, flatmates. Like whatever.
NOUR
Yeah. Yeah. I think putting yourself out there is definitely the first step. And then everything follows naturally. So you kind of have to make that first physical step before things kind of flow naturally. But I think making friends at university is one of the biggest worries we all have. Do you think everyone feels that pressure, even if they don't really show it?
CHARLOTTE
I think definitely, I think high school and university, they're very different, but I think it is kind of you don't want to be that one person eating your lunch by yourself. Like you don't want to be just that one person sitting by themselves. There's nothing wrong with that. There's really nothing wrong with that. Be like coming to you and you don't want to be that one person that isn't invited to the parties. And there's nothing wrong with these things. But I feel like there's that still like high school, like inside, like I don't want to be left left out.
NOUR
Stress. Anxiety, definitely. And I think, yeah, I think everyone experiences it. experiences it. Even the popular people definitely do experience that urge to fit in and urge to make friends. Well, some people are genuinely better than others at breaking the ice and making friends. Are there any tips or advice you'd give to people wanting to meet other students?
CHARLOTTE
Well, for me, I feel like I met most of my friends from joining the society. Like I joined rugby in my second week and it's probably the best decision I've ever made at uni, maybe even in my life. Like from that, I've made so many friends and so many people coming up to me and asking me like they were making the first move. I wasn't having to make the first move. They saw me as a fresher and they kind of just saw me as like a new person, and they were just very kind, and they wanted to get to know me and I wanted to get to know them, but it just felt so organic and it felt so natural. And something like a society like or a particularly sports society, you've got that structure where you've got, I don't know, two or three trainings a week, plus a social plus maybe a game. And that I feel like that structure is really helpful in socializing and making friends, and from going to training, from going to the socials, you do get more confident and you do just get more confident in speaking to people, making friends. And you also just found confidence in yourself about your own worth. And I don't know, I feel like rugby probably has really helped me strive and put yourself out there and all. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Um it's brilliant. It's where I met you and I met flatmates there. I met really, really good friends. So I feel like joining a society is, is very easy because in breaking the ice, because people will come up to you and people will want to include you because they want people and people want other people in their society. People want them to join their club. They need their societies to grow and flourish. Exactly. So they want you in your sports society. They want you in your club. It's a brilliant way to make friends. Yeah. I always tell people who joined university that sports societies are the number one thing they should look at, and we've got over three hundred of them, so there's genuinely something for everyone to look into. Definitely. Especially considering that during freshers week, you have kind of the the possibility of joining everything and trying out everything in it. You meet all the new people, you meet all new sports and societies, and you can kind of decide what you really want to stick with and kind of what your group is. But also, when I first joined Hillhead, which is our student accommodation, I joined a group for people who live at Hillhead. And I think putting yourself out there.
NOUR
Yeah, using the resources that the university give you is really important to kind of help aid making friends. Do you think friendships at universities are different than school friendships? Because I think that was the biggest thing that kind of shocked me. The difference between kind of friendships that you make when you're younger in high school and friendships right now.
CHARLOTTE
I think so, I definitely think so. At university, you're living by yourself. You go from being in high school, from wanting to have them friends to a university needing them friends. Exactly. You need your friends to get through the day. You need your friends. We've all been there at university where things just haven't gone our way. Whatever that could be, it could just be having a bad day. We need our friends to just, like, carry us in the evenings. And also, it's really cool to live with your friends at uni and I feel like you, you form such a closer bond with your friends because you see them every day. And I just think friendships are so different to high school and they're a lot more stronger at university. I mean, yeah, I moving and becoming independent. You kind of form a friendship group that is more like a family to you. So I think when you're in university, you look for the people who you know, you'll have your back rather than just having so many friends in high school and definitely forcing yourself to be the popular person and whatnot.
NOUR
Yeah. You mentioned finding friends and support in rugby and societies, but what else happens around the campus that helps you meet people? And have you found it quite easy to connect with people either at the university or even out in the city centre?
CHARLOTTE
Um, yeah, the university does offer a lot of things, particularly in freshers week and picnics, ceilidhs, all that kind of thing. They're just a great way to meet new people. And it's kind of just an event to try something new. Exactly. Or to meet new people. And at the end of the day, if you don't like it or if you don't meet any friends, you will meet any people that you relate to. You really haven't lost anything. Exactly. But like just attending any event where there's socialising involved, I think is just a good idea. You've really got nothing to lose. You're gonna either meet someone you really like or try a spot out, or try an activity out, or maybe just get some free food. Exactly. A lot of free food. There's always these events, I think. Yeah. You've got nothing to lose during, like you said, freshers week. It's the most vital time, but also during the year. There's always so many events hosted by the university, like the community kitchens and swap shops, where you can go and kind of donate clothes, pick up more clothes. I think the university does lots of city initiatives with other charities, like the New Arts Centre, where students can volunteer and meet other fellow volunteers. So I think it's good kind of looking at what the university has to offer, but also trying to go out there yourself and making it happen. If someone was listening to this and struggling to get to know people or find their crowd, what would you say to them? You just need to be yourself, don't you? You know, there's no point in making friends who aren't friends with actually you. They're friends with a version of you that isn't true to yourself. Exactly. It's like, okay to say, like, we all say embarrassing things. It's okay to like, say something and go, oh, God, why did I say that? But that's fine. That's probably a quirk of yours or something. You just need to be yourself. Put yourself out there constantly, and eventually you will find a friend or a group of people that you really like or can relate to and want to spend time with. And it doesn't need to be during freshers week. I feel like there's a lot of pressure for you to make your forever friends in freshers week, and it can't happen in a week. No. And so many people I know who are friends with people they made friends with in freshers week. And then a couple of weeks later, something happened and they're no longer friends and they've moved on to bigger and better people. So there are four years for you to find your. I think I only definitely stuck with my crowd. Second year of uni.
NOUR
Yeah, my first year of uni was literally just being an international student, learning the new culture, getting to know all the different peoples and personality, and just trying to find my way around the city and around the country itself. So yeah, there's always, I think, pressure on finding everything out and knowing everything in the first year. But you actually have four years to explore and actually find yourself, because the version of yourself at eighteen years old is completely different than every single year at university. So I think it's very important for people to realize that and not put too much pressure on themselves. The fact that I feel like in first year, the fact that you're cooking for yourself, you're cleaning for yourself, you're turning up to lectures and tutorials and, and everything. I feel like you're socializing a little bit at the same time. It's a huge thing to be proud of.
CHARLOTTE
Yeah. Give yourself that grace. Yeah, definitely. Like, you don't need to be friends with everyone. You don't need to know everyone. I feel like I did know a lot of people in first year, but I feel like I know a lot of people now because slowly over time, I've become more confident and I can reach out. I've reached out to more people. You don't need to be a campus celebrity. Exactly. Like, you just need to have a few good friends in first year. One hundred percent sure, a lot of people are gonna feel a sense of relief knowing that people in uni don't have to be perfect and you just really have to try. Definitely.
CLIP
I'm Joe and I work as a wellbeing coordinator at the University of Aberdeen. Any students who are trying to find their crowd or making new friends. Most other new students you meet are also doing this, which is great because you are sharing the same goal and there are plenty of opportunities to make friends. Sometimes it takes a bit longer and that's okay. Don't worry about it. There will be plenty of opportunities to make friends and it will work out.
NOUR
You're probably starting to get a sense that making friends and meeting people at uni is one of the main things that everyone worries about, but you don't need to. In the next part of this episode, we're going to catch up with Hannah Cowie, who's not only a University of Aberdeen student, but also the vice president for activities at the Students Union. The Su has all sorts of support, advice and great activities to take part in and meet people. So I met with Hana to talk through how they help new students and get some advice and tips for making friends at uni.
Hi Hannah, thank you so much for joining us. And so can you explain your role at the Students Union and also what the Su aims to do for the new students in Aberdeen? Of course.
HANNAH
Yeah. So my role at Su is the vice president for activities. So I'm basically all things sports societies. I usually focus on trying to create partnerships between students, staff and organisations outside of university to try and make that student experience at Aberdeen University a little bit more memorable and meaningful for people. So we provide that to students at all levels from the moment that you start the university. We're here to help make that transition to university life just a little bit, you know, easier through things like the welcome fair, connect with coffee events, stuff like that, so that students can kind of find their community as soon as they get into Aberdeen.
NOUR
Sounds amazing. Well, now in this episode specifically, we're looking at how you make friends and find your crowd at uni. How was it for you when you started here as a student yourself?
HANNAH
But I was a really, really nervous and shy person. I'd just come from Ireland at eighteen. I'd never really stayed away from home that much before, so it was kind of difficult for me to get into that swing of things. I spoke to my lecturer though, and she told me to kind of look for things in life that stoke that passion for life. And she was talking about hammocking in forests, but I sort of settled for the the German drama group society. So I ended up meeting a load of people there that also spoke German. They were interested in acting and theatre, and I had an amazing time. It really brought me out of my shell at that point, and also outside of my room in halls for really the first time since being in Aberdeen. So my lecture was absolutely right. And just having that passion, spending time with people who shared that passion was really, really great way for me to sort of start that experience at Aberdeen. So do you think for you, friendships happen more naturally, or did you have to push yourself a little to kind of get where you are? I think I had to push myself. Um, I'm usually I used to be quite introverted at least, but pushing myself and finding those kind of bonds and finding people that were interested in what I was interested in. It's easy to say, hard to do, but it's that effort that made it all worth it. Yeah, I always tell new students to really put themselves out there and try literally everything that they run into at uni. Which kind of brings me to my second point, which is clubs and societies. They're a huge thing at uni. Um, and they're a huge part of getting to know people here, aren't they? How do you as a new student go about finding them out and what's included and so on. So we have a welcome fair in September and then again in January. Um, and that's a really great place for students to interact with clubs and societies. We have so many amazing students that are on committees and they work so hard to create. Just a fun atmosphere. And the September Fair is super, super interactive. So you can go and see the give it a go spaces and try things out and see what it's really, really about. I also think the social media secretaries and the social secretaries do a really fantastic job at getting like the clubs and societies out there to new students. So during Welcome Week this year, I was going through Instagram, seeing so many different things about events and group chats and coffee mornings and trips to the pub even. And it's just a, it's a really great way to interact with them. So there's less pressure doing things over DMs and stuff. I think there are over three hundred clubs and societies, aren't there? Yeah, yeah, there's so many. So there's so many different ways to get involved and different interests for people other than clubs and societies that you can get involved in.
NOUR
Does the student union host other events?
HANNAH
Absolutely we do. So we have things like pub quizzes, coffee mornings, arts and crafts evenings and poetry nights. And those are just a few of my favourites. We have so many events throughout the year, so you don't have to engage from the very, very start and keep going. Sometimes if you just need a break from a stressful exam or something, you can come along. One of the big events that we also do is our community cafe. So every other week on a Thursday, we invite students down to the student union building. We supply the dinner for free, which is a really great way to save a bit of money for students, but also get to meet people from different cultures and communities as well. That sounds fantastic. We love being led by the students. Um, so one thing I really like is having students come to us with ideas and being able to work with them on making those events at the Su as well.
NOUR
Is there also something for quieter students, you know, students who aren't as outgoing and extroverted?
HANNAH
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that coffee morning, it's a really quiet, calmer way of getting involved. If you just want to sit in your room with a little cup of tea or something. It's quite relaxing. And the arts and crafts things, we do have those events there for a bit more introverted people to just kind of take a break. And we promote a lot of those throughout the year, especially around exam times. And we also have places in the union like the Lib Lounge, where you can just take a break and step aside and just calm yourself down for a bit.
NOUR
How would people find these things or go about, you know, joining them? So we have our student union building, which is on Elphinstone Road near the library. Inside we've got our union brew, which is our coffee shop. We've got our advice service provides support to students and the office. What I love about the union building is that all the walls are covered with posters about events, QR codes where you can join things. We run them or the students are running these things. We have links to the website, which has all the information you need about joining events, getting involved as a club or society, or even starting your own thing. I always say try to follow as much as you can on Instagram because that's where everyone's updating things like events and clubs and society achievements, and then you can sign up for everything there. So it's a great interactive space where you can find all the information that you need.
NOUR
Amazing. And finally, what advice would you give to someone who is wanting to meet new people? And there may be a little afraid of how to do it.
HANNAH
I do get this question a lot. Um, and I can't take credit for my answer, but I always pass on that advice that my lecturer gave me. She just gives something a go. Give everything you can a go and find something that puts that fire in your belly and gives you something to look forward to. That passion for life. It is so difficult, like I said, to take that first step and to put yourself out there. But university is and should be so much more than exams and lectures. Give your flatmates a nudge to go along to the welcome fair in September, or DM a society on Instagram to come along to one of their events, or even just coming to an event and hanging out with sabbatical officers for a bit. It's good to put yourself out there and meet new people, and you might discover that you actually love something you had no idea even existed.
NOUR
That's fantastic. Hannah, thank you so much for all the great advice for all our new students.
Thanks for listening to Find Your True North, a podcast for new students at the University of Aberdeen and a really important episode looking at making friends and meeting new people. The university such a welcoming and inclusive place and everyone wants to connect, make friends and start socialising. So if you're worried about any of this, it's completely normal. When you're ready, just get involved in as many things as you can and give it time. Everyone is looking for new friends and those connections will happen now. While your time at the university will be one of the most incredible experiences of your life, you wouldn't be human if you didn't need some help at some point. Every student needs help and support along the way. In the next episode, we'll dive into all the different types of support you can get at the University of Aberdeen and meet some of the people who will help you through your time at uni. Download and listen when you can and I'll catch you then.