Sober Banter | Managing Expectations during Sober October (Re-release)

Episode Summary (Re-Released episode)
Sober Banter hosts offer advice for Sober October, emphasizing realistic expectations, support systems, and self-compassion.

Chapters
00:00 Managing Expectations and Social Pressure
01:21 Finding Support and Accountability
03:32 Health Benefits and Personal Growth
07:19 Tips for a Successful Sober October

This episode is a re-release and goes back to our early catalog, before most people even knew Sober Banter existed. We are bringing it back because the advice still matters. Sober October is not about perfection, it is about managing expectations, leaning on accountability, and giving yourself compassion along the way.

Please give us grace on any audio hiccups. I (Rachel) touched it up as best I could, but wanted to share it for the message, not polish it into perfection. Between college, parenting, and chronic illness, I overworked myself and had to step away. It was the right choice for my sobriety and emotional health.

I also have a backlog of unreleased interviews. If one of those is yours, it will be out as soon as possible. I am pacing myself this time and will send updates by email. Thank you for your patience.

The good news is that Colin and I are still sober, and we plan to record a new episode soon to share how we have stayed grounded.

For now, enjoy this short audio-only throwback about Sober October. Let us know what you think, and remember to take it one day at a time.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Colin Casey

Co - founder and host of Sober Banter.

Host

Rachel Casey

Co-founder and host of Sober Banter.

What is Sober Banter?

Sober Banter, a podcast about life without alcohol, is real, relatable, and never boring. Hosts Rachel and Colin share honest conversations about sobriety with humor, heart, and a touch of chaos.

Colin (00:00:08):
Hi, welcome to Sober Banter.

Rachel (00:00:10):
My name is Rachel and I'm one of your hosts.

Colin (00:00:12):
And I am Colin.

Colin (00:00:13):
I am the other host.

Rachel (00:00:14):
We are Sober Banter.

Rachel (00:00:16):
We are a new sobriety podcast and we are gearing up for the Sober October.

Rachel (00:00:23):
So if you're listening to this and you're interested in doing Sober October,

Rachel (00:00:27):
we have good news because we plan to put out a daily episode to help those who are

Rachel (00:00:33):
navigating Sober October.

Rachel (00:00:35):
What advice do you have for someone who's about to do Sober October for the first time?

Colin (00:00:40):
I would tell you not to take it too seriously because you don't want to set higher

Colin (00:00:47):
expectations or put so much pressure on yourself that you're completely miserable

Colin (00:00:54):
or if you do slip up,

Colin (00:00:56):
you feel like it's the end of the world.

Colin (00:00:58):
It's okay.

Rachel (00:00:59):
I would even say when people have, at least it works for me,

Rachel (00:01:05):
If you saw someone post that they were doing Sober October,

Rachel (00:01:09):
even for you saw the example I told my parents and they came over on the 5th and I

Rachel (00:01:13):
was drinking.

Rachel (00:01:14):
Did they like scold me?

Colin (00:01:15):
No, but they probably talk shit afterward.

Rachel (00:01:18):
Thank you.

Rachel (00:01:19):
No,

Rachel (00:01:19):
I'm saying think about what you would say to a friend if you saw them post on

Rachel (00:01:24):
Facebook and then five days later,

Rachel (00:01:26):
the weekend comes and they're drinking.

Rachel (00:01:28):
Are you sitting there judging them and thinking that person's like an alcoholic?

Rachel (00:01:33):
They probably have a problem.

Rachel (00:01:34):
No.

Rachel (00:01:35):
And the fear of what people are going to think about you,

Rachel (00:01:38):
you're probably thinking it 10 times worse than what it actually is.

Rachel (00:01:41):
And if it's blowing up to that big of a problem in your head, it might be a problem.

Colin (00:01:46):
Yeah, I think what we as individuals don't understand is that other people don't care.

Colin (00:01:54):
Don't care at all.

Colin (00:01:55):
No.

Rachel (00:01:56):
And the cool thing,

Rachel (00:01:58):
and I'm not encouraging necessarily anyone to go on social media,

Rachel (00:02:02):
but at least like an accountability buddy.

Rachel (00:02:04):
I was shocked when I put that I was getting sober on Facebook, Instagram.

Rachel (00:02:11):
The amount of other people that were also getting sober,

Rachel (00:02:15):
newly sober,

Rachel (00:02:16):
had been sober,

Rachel (00:02:17):
I was shocked.

Rachel (00:02:19):
There is so much more support.

Colin (00:02:21):
There's a big group out there, yeah.

Rachel (00:02:23):
And you might not know who that they were or are,

Rachel (00:02:27):
but I got reached out by a lot of people that,

Rachel (00:02:31):
oh,

Rachel (00:02:31):
yeah,

Rachel (00:02:31):
I've been sober now for a couple months or,

Rachel (00:02:34):
oh,

Rachel (00:02:34):
I've been sober for years.

Rachel (00:02:35):
I was like, and we used to drink together.

Rachel (00:02:37):
And I never thought that I'd hear them say they were sober.

Rachel (00:02:41):
And it was really cool.

Rachel (00:02:43):
And it sparks this... It's cool to have connections with other people that are sober.

Rachel (00:02:49):
Doing it alone is not...

Colin (00:02:51):
If you are doing it alone,

Colin (00:02:53):
though,

Colin (00:02:53):
I would suggest,

Colin (00:02:54):
say,

Colin (00:02:55):
for me...

Rachel (00:02:56):
Maybe journaling,

Rachel (00:02:57):
at least,

Rachel (00:02:57):
to get it out.

Colin (00:02:57):
You could journal it,

Colin (00:02:58):
or if you like to work out,

Colin (00:03:00):
or if you play a sport,

Colin (00:03:01):
like I played tennis,

Colin (00:03:03):
it was fun the months that we did do the 30-30 health thing,

Colin (00:03:07):
or...

Colin (00:03:08):
Full 30,

Colin (00:03:08):
yeah.

Colin (00:03:09):
Full 30, or the other Sober Octobers.

Colin (00:03:11):
I could see progress...

Colin (00:03:13):
And like me working out or playing tennis that I wasn't dripping with sweat all the time.

Colin (00:03:19):
I could actually last longer.

Colin (00:03:21):
I could last longer just playing, rallying, hitting.

Colin (00:03:25):
And I wasn't getting as tired as fast.

Colin (00:03:27):
I wasn't getting exhausted as fast.

Colin (00:03:29):
I didn't feel like crap afterwards.

Colin (00:03:31):
You leave your workout and you're ready to go for the day.

Colin (00:03:34):
And you're like, all right, what else?

Colin (00:03:35):
What else are we doing?

Rachel (00:03:37):
You don't realize how much alcohol can just drain.

Rachel (00:03:41):
It's this misconception that it fuels you.

Rachel (00:03:43):
It makes you dehydrated.

Rachel (00:03:47):
It's literally alcohol.

Rachel (00:03:51):
I still cannot believe that there is a movement to combat.

Colin (00:03:56):
It's not people.

Colin (00:03:57):
It's one Karen.

Colin (00:03:58):
And we all know what Karen's due to the world.

Rachel (00:04:01):
Stop saying that.

Rachel (00:04:02):
And I don't associate the name Karen with... Bitches.

Rachel (00:04:07):
Stop it.

Rachel (00:04:08):
And overall, there are going to be ups and downs in any part of your life.

Rachel (00:04:14):
It's not just October.

Rachel (00:04:16):
It's not just dry January.

Rachel (00:04:17):
You can start whenever.

Rachel (00:04:18):
You can quit whenever.

Rachel (00:04:19):
I always have the,

Rachel (00:04:21):
for when I went back to school,

Rachel (00:04:23):
which I thought I was just never going to get a college degree.

Rachel (00:04:26):
I didn't think it was in the cards for me.

Rachel (00:04:27):
I didn't think I was smart enough.

Rachel (00:04:28):
I thought I threw my life away in the service industry and I didn't want to be that

Rachel (00:04:33):
old person in college.

Rachel (00:04:36):
And now I have that F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Rachel (00:04:39):
You can start whenever.

Rachel (00:04:41):
And that's true for evaluating your relationship with drinking.

Rachel (00:04:46):
If you see this post or you hear this episode on October 5th, start on October 5th.

Rachel (00:04:51):
It's not a big deal.

Rachel (00:04:52):
No one's going to judge you.

Rachel (00:04:54):
No one's going to be like,

Colin (00:04:55):
You have to wait till next year.

Rachel (00:04:59):
I think that the takeaway for our focus of Sober October on this Sober Banter

Rachel (00:05:06):
podcast is to reevaluate the relationship you have in a life without alcohol.

Rachel (00:05:12):
And it is so much more fun.

Rachel (00:05:15):
At first, it might be hard, especially if you're going through detox.

Rachel (00:05:17):
Do not hesitate to go to a hospital if you start having, if you are a super heavy drinker.

Rachel (00:05:23):
Do not try to do so for October alone, please.

Rachel (00:05:26):
Like more people die from alcohol withdrawals than you would imagine.

Rachel (00:05:30):
And if you're a heavy drinker, you'll know.

Colin (00:05:33):
One of those commercials for medicine that says,

Colin (00:05:36):
please consult a doctor before trying,

Colin (00:05:38):
blah,

Colin (00:05:39):
blah.

Colin (00:05:39):
So maybe consult your doctor.

Rachel (00:05:41):
So Colin also brought up a really good point,

Rachel (00:05:44):
too,

Rachel (00:05:44):
is if you are as heavy of a drinker as I was,

Rachel (00:05:47):
like where you're drinking like handles a day,

Rachel (00:05:50):
I mean over 10 drinks in a day,

Rachel (00:05:52):
finding a substitution is a great idea because I didn't realize how much time I got

Rachel (00:05:59):
back when I stopped drinking for

Rachel (00:06:01):
And it's very easy to substitute addictions.

Rachel (00:06:04):
So switching to weed,

Rachel (00:06:07):
it's probably not a good idea if you're like,

Rachel (00:06:09):
oh,

Rachel (00:06:09):
I'm just going to give alcohol and I'm just going to because then you will just go

Rachel (00:06:11):
full time.

Colin (00:06:12):
You're going to be addicted to some exercise,

Rachel (00:06:15):
but that can get something,

Rachel (00:06:18):
some sort of hobby that you can put the seven hours you'll probably gain back.

Colin (00:06:24):
Yeah.

Colin (00:06:24):
Start a Pinterest account.

Rachel (00:06:25):
Start a Pinterest account.

Rachel (00:06:28):
I'll do something.

Rachel (00:06:29):
Anyways.

Rachel (00:06:30):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:06:30):
And then they're also saying is.

Colin (00:06:32):
Is not drinking really healthy.

Rachel (00:06:35):
Is Sober October the new dry January?

Rachel (00:06:38):
And no, I think that they're both great.

Colin (00:06:41):
I said bake.

Colin (00:06:41):
That's a dyslexia.

Colin (00:06:42):
It's clickbait.

Rachel (00:06:43):
So Sober October, what it is and how to partake.

Rachel (00:06:47):
It's a challenge.

Rachel (00:06:49):
And what year it began?

Colin (00:06:50):
What year?

Colin (00:06:51):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:06:51):
Yeah, it's 2014.

Rachel (00:06:53):
So this is the 10th anniversary of Sober October that was started in the UK.

Rachel (00:06:57):
So 10 years ago.

Rachel (00:06:58):
Yes.

Rachel (00:06:59):
And some of the health benefits that they clued in this article,

Rachel (00:07:02):
which is in Country Yard Townhouse.

Colin (00:07:05):
My favorite magazine.

Rachel (00:07:07):
Stop it.

Rachel (00:07:08):
Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it dehydrates us.

Rachel (00:07:11):
So overall, you'll get healthier skin.

Rachel (00:07:13):
Even just one week off of booze,

Rachel (00:07:15):
you can expect to have more hydrated skin and it will reduce the redness in your

Rachel (00:07:19):
face.

Rachel (00:07:20):
In a month,

Rachel (00:07:21):
you can expect even more improvement with a brighter complexion and bloating will

Rachel (00:07:26):
be reduced.

Rachel (00:07:27):
Cool.

Rachel (00:07:27):
Better sleep.

Rachel (00:07:28):
Drinking alcohol might help some to get sleep, but it does not give you a restful sleep.

Rachel (00:07:34):
You spend less time in a deep sleep when you have alcohol in your body.

Rachel (00:07:38):
And that was according to the CEO of Alcohol Change.

Rachel (00:07:42):
The other month,

Rachel (00:07:44):
it can bring a lot of mental health benefits to people feel a reduction in anxiety,

Rachel (00:07:49):
stress and depression overall.

Colin (00:07:52):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:07:53):
So it said tips stock up on alternative drinks.

Rachel (00:07:57):
So like sodas, sparkling waters, Topo Chico.

Colin (00:08:00):
Yeah.

Colin (00:08:01):
I thought I heard somewhere that root beer,

Colin (00:08:03):
one of the reasons that exists was to help people get off actual beer,

Colin (00:08:07):
hence the name root beer.

Colin (00:08:09):
And even though it doesn't have any caffeine,

Colin (00:08:11):
it has tons of sugar,

Colin (00:08:12):
which is what a lot of people who stop drinking alcohol,

Colin (00:08:15):
they move to things with lots of sugar because alcohol turns into sugar,

Colin (00:08:20):
right?

Colin (00:08:20):
So you end up craving sugar.

Colin (00:08:21):
But apparently root beer, one of the reasons for it was for getting off alcohol.

Rachel (00:08:26):
I wonder how many brands of root beers there are.

Colin (00:08:28):
This could just be me just shooting out like complete nonsense that I picked up

Colin (00:08:33):
over the radio that has no truth to it at all.

Rachel (00:08:37):
Well, why don't you look it up and you'll bring it to the next episode?

Colin (00:08:39):
Yeah, but it sounded somewhat interesting and factual.

Rachel (00:08:43):
Yeah.

Colin (00:08:44):
Stock up on IBC root beer.

Rachel (00:08:45):
I was going to say we should try like different kinds of root beer.

Rachel (00:08:47):
But also small chocolates are a good one.

Rachel (00:08:50):
I had chocolates in my drawer during the first couple months of getting sober,

Rachel (00:08:55):
especially at night.

Rachel (00:08:59):
There's something about chocolate, like pure, like either milk or dark chocolate.

Rachel (00:09:02):
It can help satisfy a craving.

Rachel (00:09:05):
It says on day one, which maybe we can do this on a live, this October 1st.

Colin (00:09:10):
Yeah, that's this Tuesday, right?

Rachel (00:09:12):
Write down our reasons.

Rachel (00:09:14):
We're going to write down reasons for personal motivations of why we want to do the

Rachel (00:09:20):
Sober October.

Rachel (00:09:21):
And because we're already sober, we will say it's to help the next person who's getting sober.

Rachel (00:09:25):
And I will probably we can reflect on what we had reasons for when we did get sober

Rachel (00:09:32):
in the first place.

Rachel (00:09:33):
But starting to think of what is your list going to look like?

Rachel (00:09:36):
What having a reminder of your why is very helpful, especially when emergencies happen.

Colin (00:09:43):
Yeah, it might be something you put on the mirror in your bathroom so you see it every day.

Rachel (00:09:47):
Maybe.

Rachel (00:09:48):
Or just if you have a stressful work event,

Rachel (00:09:53):
going and looking at that,

Rachel (00:09:54):
reminding yourself of your why can be very powerful.

Rachel (00:09:57):
Also doing maybe a treat yourself at the end.

Colin (00:09:59):
Treat yourself.

Rachel (00:10:00):
It says you've made it through the entire month.

Rachel (00:10:03):
You've now saved money.

Rachel (00:10:04):
Maybe having a book of massage or go do your spa day.

Colin (00:10:08):
Treat yourself.

Rachel (00:10:09):
Whatever you want to do.

Rachel (00:10:10):
Or go on, it says, go on a trip.

Rachel (00:10:13):
Go out of town at the end of the month.

Rachel (00:10:15):
And you can enjoy some of the things that won't pressure your drinking because you

Rachel (00:10:20):
now have this new relationship with alcohol.

Rachel (00:10:22):
And maybe that means no relationship.

Rachel (00:10:24):
Maybe that means a better relationship.

Rachel (00:10:26):
I mean, there's either way.

Rachel (00:10:28):
This is a great way to just, again, not judge.

Rachel (00:10:33):
It's just to identify the pros or cons.

Rachel (00:10:37):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:10:37):
And maybe we can like if people are interested and they comment, I wish people commented more.

Rachel (00:10:43):
Maybe we could do a non-alcoholic drink of the day for each day of Sober October.

Colin (00:10:48):
Maybe people aren't commenting because they want to be anonymous.

Rachel (00:10:53):
Probably.

Rachel (00:10:53):
They probably do.

Colin (00:10:55):
Can you send in a comment anonymously?

Rachel (00:10:58):
Yes.

Colin (00:10:59):
Oh, OK.

Rachel (00:11:00):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:11:00):
Remember in my first meeting, I said my name was Cinderella.

Colin (00:11:03):
I can't remember.

Rachel (00:11:04):
I thought you chickened out and you... I said I was going to lie, but the topic was honesty.

Rachel (00:11:09):
And I was like,

Rachel (00:11:09):
I told you in the car as we were walking,

Rachel (00:11:11):
I'm like,

Rachel (00:11:12):
I'm not going to say my name.

Colin (00:11:12):
Yeah, but in meeting room, they do the names before the topic.

Rachel (00:11:16):
But we didn't do names.

Rachel (00:11:17):
It was too big of a meeting that they didn't do the introduce your names.

Rachel (00:11:21):
No, we didn't.

Rachel (00:11:22):
I promise.

Rachel (00:11:22):
I remember that very strongly.

Rachel (00:11:24):
Yeah.

Colin (00:11:24):
I mean,

Colin (00:11:25):
technically,

Colin (00:11:25):
you were a couple hours more sober than I was,

Colin (00:11:28):
so I guess I'd have to take your word for it.

Rachel (00:11:30):
Because Teddy chaired the meeting.

Colin (00:11:31):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:11:32):
Do you remember that?

Rachel (00:11:33):
Yeah.

Rachel (00:11:34):
Okay.

Rachel (00:11:34):
Sorry.

Rachel (00:11:35):
His name's Teddy Bear, so.

Colin (00:11:37):
Anonymous.

Rachel (00:11:38):
That's what I said.

Rachel (00:11:39):
It's not even his real name.

Rachel (00:11:40):
God, I could just imagine what he would act like if I tell him, we're doing a podcast.

Rachel (00:11:43):
Like, I can just hear, like, he'd be like, oh, my God.

Rachel (00:11:48):
He would be the best person to have on the show.

Colin (00:11:50):
First, you don't like it because you're like, get him away from me.

Rachel (00:11:55):
This person cannot be sober if they're that happy.

Colin (00:11:57):
And then he becomes your best friend.

Colin (00:11:59):
Yeah, that's true.

Colin (00:12:01):
That was great.

Colin (00:12:03):
Thank you for bringing that to the forefront.

Rachel (00:12:05):
Yeah, and soberbanter.com if you want to check us out for some more.

Rachel (00:12:10):
Any Venmo donations or any tips, whatever, is appreciated.

Rachel (00:12:14):
I know my husband is going to roll his eyes.

Colin (00:12:16):
Just panhandling.

Rachel (00:12:18):
It's not panhandling.

Rachel (00:12:19):
This is a lot of work.

Rachel (00:12:20):
This equipment's very expensive.

Rachel (00:12:21):
And to be able to produce episodes every day is going to just take a little more effort.

Colin (00:12:27):
See, when you don't pay money for alcohol, this is all the stuff you can buy.

Rachel (00:12:31):
Thank you for listening to Sober Banter.

Colin (00:12:33):
My name is Colin Casey.

Rachel (00:12:36):
My name is Rachel.

Colin (00:12:37):
And this was Sober Banter.

Rachel (00:12:39):
Thank you for listening, and we hope you have a great rest of your day.

Colin (00:12:42):
Goodbye.

Rachel (00:12:43):
Please follow, subscribe for more.

Colin (00:12:46):
Goodbye.

Rachel (00:12:47):
Goodbye.

Rachel (00:12:47):
How many?