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Welcome to "Beyond the Outpost" Podcast!
Join the adventure with us as we explore the depths of personal growth, inspiration, and purpose. Hosted by Jordon Good and CJ Shaw, this podcast is your guide for navigating the path to becoming everything you were created to be.
Each episode of Beyond the Outpost features stories, thought-provoking ideas, and actionable steps to help you unlock your true potential. If you're seeking motivation, guidance, or simply a reminder of your inner strength, this podcast if for you.
Join us as we dive into the stories of individuals who have triumphed over adversity, discovered their passions, and embraced their unique calling. Through candid conversations and insightful reflections, we illuminate the pathway to self-discovery.
Whether you're at a crossroads in your life or simply seeking inspiration to fuel your journey, Beyond the Outpost is here to accompany you every step of the way. Tune in, subscribe, and let's go on an adventure together.
Jordon Good (00:00)
It's just the people that are like, I'm desperate for Jesus to fix me and heal me. I'm ready. And when you get around that hunger and you're surrounded by hungry people, you just get your belief in what God can do. You're getting meat. You're getting meat. And now they're sharing their testimonies about their struggles. And you're like, well, if God did it for them, he could certainly do it for me. And now you start seeing the power of the testimony. And now you start.
Oh, this is what freedom starts to feel like. We're going to be on the outposts, everybody. I'm CJ and this is Jordan. And today we are going to talk about testimonies. Last week we had spoken about what a testimony is. And this week we are going to give you an example of what a testimony looks like, what it sounds like.
And how Jesus is in the middle of it with our buddy here, Jordan. Yes. So I'm going to start this one off. You're going to interview me. We're going to do a little fun. Uh, I've never actually done it like this. When you sent this outline over, I'm excited about it. So I'm sure the stuff comes out and we were just picking at each other's brains this week, tossing out outlines. It's sort of like a way of where we wanted to go with this thing. Um,
I'm going to do my best not to necessarily read off the paper as much as just like having an idea of where we want to go. I do want it to be organic in a sense like this is what it would sound like if we were sitting at a coffee shop with somebody and just happened to start talking about God. Like, what would it sound like? I guess that's kind of the goal of all this is one, so you get freedom once you start understanding your story and start seeing where you took the bait, where you took a bite out of the apple. Yeah. Right.
And then how do you bring Jesus up in just every day? I can do it in any conversation. Yeah. Anywhere. Yeah. And I noticed it last year really, it was actually with Lindsay. We were at the store and it's just been normal to me my whole life. My grandfather was the same way. People just came up to him and would talk to him. You'd be like at the mill.
you know, getting feed and just some random guy just talking, he would just talk and talk about Jesus. And I have the same, uh, things happen to me. And when Lindsay pointed out, she goes, people just randomly come up to you. And I'm like, yeah, they really do. And she's like, the way that you are inviting to them and then pro like, um, not profess, but put Jesus out there in the story that you're sharing.
Like that's why they come to you. God brings them to you. So it's kind of helped me with my testimony to pull pieces of it at the right time. You know, if I'm talking to a little kid or a teenage boy, there you go. 17, 18, 19. I pretty much know in about three minutes what you're struggling with versus a 65 year old guy or a mom, a single mom of four. Like it's just a different conversation. So.
had this really short old lady stop me in the giant the other day as I was looking at seasoning and I was like, all right, what are we going to talk about here? Cause I was like, this is not normal for me, especially when like older spotlight, they usually avoid me in most senses, but she came walking right up and she goes, man, this seasoning is so expensive these days. I'm like, well, let your words be seasoned with grace. Like I'm not sure how to turn this one, but there you go. Well lady, aren't you the salt of the earth?
No, but it's awesome. It was like six in the morning to us going back to the gym Wait a minute. You're at the store at 6 a .m. Getting seasoning. I was looking for something for later that day. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah. All right well cool, let's uh Mazel that you just run with it and we're gonna go into my story a little bit today and hopefully I've never actually shared my story like this
I want to, I shouldn't say I haven't. I did it when I was preaching. So that it's recorded. I've done it a lot in men's groups, church groups out and about. This is a little bit different. Yeah. So again, the goal of this is a sense of like, here's what this may sound like again. It's not going to be a split image of like what you're going to share in a testimony. Like this is different for you, but generally the same conversation flowing. Like this is just tips, tricks, things.
that you can mimic or you can be like, ah, didn't like how they did that. Just use it as an opportunity to go, all right, this is how I can start putting my testimony together in a sense. That's a way I can describe it to somebody else. So with that being said, Jordan, let's go baby. Who is Jordan? Good. Who's Jordan? Where are you from? Give us just a brief like overview. Like when, when was God in your life? When was he a focus in your life or, uh, or was he?
I grew up here in South Anvil, actually on this farm. My grandparents farmed this, and I just spent all my time here. So I was born and raised here, been here my whole life, I'm 39. And my grandfather was a preacher, my mom's in ministry their whole life. I just grew up around it. The heydays of the 80s and 90s with the traveling worship, you know, you'd go to these worship things, John Hagee would come in or Benny Hinn, like,
All the televangelists like you would go see them around here. Uh, well within like Reading, Philly. So yeah, just like they do. You know, people do now. Um, I just grew up around it. Ministry, the good, the bad and the ugly. Um, but didn't know Jesus, know Jesus. I knew of him and I heard everybody around me talking about him. And some people would say, Oh man, like, how did you grow up around it and miss it?
How did you grow up around it and miss it? Like we all, it's a personal relationship that you have to steward and cultivate and work out one -on -one. I can't do it for my kids, just like my mom and my grandparents and my dad, they couldn't do that for me. But they put me in an environment where I could hear the truth and it was just being spoken around me. And then they backed it up with prayer. And eventually, God got me.
You know, he always had me but he like, got me got me in my late 30s. So you say late 30s though. So in between from the time like, when did you move out of your parents house? Or when did you like start living on your own? What age was that at 16? So and I didn't move out like, leave the house, I just got my license and just let's go check out the wide open world and my parents let me go and I stayed at home but eventually I think I was probably
18 or 19 where I moved out. Okay. So from the ages of, you know, newborn to 16, you were in a house that was showing you truth. Constant worship music playing. Worship, prayer over your life. Constant Bible verses, constant church services, constant, just God and Jesus all the time. So you were very familiar with what that looked like. Oh yeah. And a healthy home, healthy. My parents had a healthy marriage.
Like, yeah, pretty awesome childhood. But you still have to go find Jesus on your own. And that's a journey, regardless of how good you have it or how bad you have it. So somebody may have been raised in a home where it was complete dysfunction. And that's a real thing. But they might find Jesus quicker than I did because of that dysfunction. So they...
They might know Jesus at a young age where I just knew about him because everything was just good. So everyone's story is different, but the goal is, do you have a relationship with Jesus and know him, know him? For sure. So with that being said, from 16 to 30, what were those years like when you're starting to get out on your own? Were you seeking the Lord? Were you trying to build a relationship that way? Or did it start falling on the back burner of not being your focus anymore?
You know, maybe 16 to 30 is too broad of a decade. Let's go 16 to break it up. Let's go 16 to 20, 16 to marriage. So I meet Lindsay and as you know, my wife, like, you know, my wife walks with Jesus. She's the same now as she was at 16. She just has this relationship with the Lord that is unique.
She knows him since a young age where I knew of him. So we were paired up as kind of opposites in a lot of ways. And had she not come into my life at 16, because I went from this structured Christian, beautiful, loving home to right out into the world. I mean, into the wolves, like broken men.
Broken marriages, men sleeping with other men, just all the stuff of the world. And when you're 16 and you go from Jesus all the time, worshiping Jesus all the time, out into a world where it's just like, holy cow, this is a lot. I would have no doubt in my mind went down some crazy roads had it not been for God bringing Lindsay into my life and her relationship with the Lord to just...
me focused on God and a healthy marriage and a healthy relationship with her and Yeah, man, I haven't thought of that a long time that's crazy because I was look I was an adrenaline junkie from 16 to 22 Anything to get a rush. Oh, yeah care less you guys get married in 20. Yeah, I would've been 20 She would have been 21. How long were you guys dating before? Since 16 so four years. Okay. Yeah
So about that time you were starting to move on and do your own thing. You guys started dating. I was really pursuing a career in the fire department and took a lot of job interviews. I actually got accepted to Baltimore city and I ended up not taking the job because we had a, had a young daughter and that was my first real like not selfish decision I've ever made up to that point. It from 16 to like 22.
Kids have a way of doing that. Funny, isn't it? I could have cared less what Lindsay was saying. Like this is what I'm doing. And she just hung in there and she little Charlotte came along and I'm like, yeah, I think that's a single man's career. I see where that one goes. Um, and it just wasn't in the cards for me. Um, so 16 to 20, you guys are, you're 20, you guys are getting married. You're married now. Yep. And you're having your first kid at 20, 20.
see Charlotte 16. What would that be? 22 22 to 26 to 22 years of your together. So you're without kids, you're starting to figure out life together at this point. Well, quickly, very quickly, very quickly. But your focus right now, what is that on at this time of your life? Uh, we had bought our first, uh, real estate property at 20 and I immediately started shifting gears into work mode. Um,
I'm from a hard working family in many areas. And that's all I knew. When you grew up on a farm, you just, you work. You know, I remember coming home from school, hiding in the basement. Cause we didn't want to unload hay right here in this barn, right up here on the hill. My grandpa would come up and be like, what are you guys doing? You read the note, get down here. And now looking back, like there are just such cool memories, but just work. And then at a young age, when you start having kids and man, you just start taking the bait.
I just start taking the bait of deception, not from my family or Lindsay, just from the world and the world's view. And that's probably where I would say I started not walking away from the Lord. I never walked away from him, but definitely did not make it a priority or a relationship priority because I just started getting deceived and strongholds in my thinking started being built.
Right around my early 20s in terms of like what God looks like in our relationship or what life looks like How you do life? Yeah, what is success? What is a purpose -driven life and you get around a bunch of people that don't know what that is You're gonna do it's so true man surround yourself with five people. You're gonna be the average of those five That is so true And I just didn't prioritize godly relationships
But I always knew character and more morals. Like I could look past things guys were doing, but it always overflows into you somehow. Somehow you may not be cheating on your wife, but sexual immorality is going to get you through pornography or thoughts lost. Yeah. And the Bible's very clear about an adulterer.
You thought about it in your mind. You're no different than somebody who's taken the plunge and actually committed adultery. Well, I'm no different than any of those people. You're no different than any of those people. Our sins are the same. Um,
And that's a long, that's my twenties. Yeah. Just addicted to the stupid things that distract you. Yeah. Pornography, work, faking it, pretending like everything's good when inside I'm just dying. Yeah. Like dying on the inside. You know, when you're doing something, you're like, I don't think this is what God created me for, but you can't figure it out.
That is a slow death. Did you, at the time, did you actually have a sense of like, there's more to 100 %? You didn't always know that since I was a kid. I've always known I was created for a purpose. Problem is you start listening to the enemy and you start taking these little bites of the apple of the world and it just starts messing with your mentality. So you start putting your energy into things that you don't even invite God into.
But as grace covers it so you're like well, it's working Yeah, but there's no fruit there. It might look good to the world, but there's no real fruit there. Yeah I Mean now looking back I can see it clearly at the time Frustrating and then you have little kids we had three in diapers at the same time. We were going through a gallon of milk a day a container of formula every two days and a box of diapers every three days like it was a
That was a lot. That was a lot. And the stress of having to provide and just not inviting God into anything. It's like, man, if I could go back to like 16, 18, like, God, what do you have for me? I think it would have made my twenties a lot more peaceful and I wouldn't have been bald at 23. So in this timeframe now we're talking between like 22 to 30.
What was just like the general question? What was your church life like? So grew up in the church, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday afternoon. Like we were always at church. Had a real drug problem in our family. Got drugged at church. It's corniest line ever. I love that my youth pastor used it on us one day. It stuck with me ever since. And I loved it. I love ministry. I love the body of Christ.
At the time though, I didn't love it. I just, it was okay with it. We didn't go to church for a few years and then we started going to LCBC. So my mom and my dad were in ministry and my mom and dad had gone through a really rough ministry hurt.
Which I remember it a little bit, but I didn't really know the details until recently. And they went to LCBC because they wanted a place for us kids to have an opportunity to develop. And we went to LCBC for 10 years and beautiful. We loved it. Um, and we raised our family in that church, but it's a great place to hide. I didn't have to do nothing there. We just showed up and it was, and it's a great church today yet.
They have a huge funnel. They bring so many people in. Um, so we just sat there for probably 10 years and just, at least we went, but zero. And there's, there's beauty to that, right? In the sense of like, you know, the scripture calls it where some people they'll get to a point where God literally gives them over to their desires into their lust says, you know what? Have at it. He didn't do that to you.
In this in the sense of like what you're talking about where you always felt that sense of like there's something more Yeah, I can see in that moment. Like there's a spirit still going Hold on. Yeah, hold on There's better things coming. Yeah, and so I love seeing those kind of pictures of like God has not let go of me yet No, and you can look in the moment. You're just like he never abandoned me No, even though I abandoned him right at times right and questioned him at times he
always was just there waiting for me to turn. I just didn't know that all you had to do was turn and just be like, yo, God, the situation sucks. Like the prodigal son like real life. Like, oh, this is what the prodigal son felt like. Yeah. Yeah. But it was always in there. And, and at this, and Lindsay has been consistent. She's been the most consistent person in her relationship with the Lord. Now, granted, I live with her.
And we've done life together for 24, 25 years. But I know her daily disciplines with it. That's the thing that people don't see. Now, mature Christians and mature men and women in Christ, you know how to check fruit. You can tell when somebody's doing the work. But for me, definitely not doing the work. So she carried the team for a long time. Thank God. Thank God.
So at what point as you start getting closer to your thirties, at what point did you start transitioning? Yeah. At what point did you really go like, wait, I see it. I see something better for my family. And I want that. I think what happened was through my twenties, I just became very aware of people that I was watching, trying to emulate, taking life advice from basically.
Not taking responsibility for my own walk with the lord. I was trying to borrow other people's fire And that's okay Like you can borrow my fire for you can get warm by me i'm on fire dude Like what you want to talk about jesus and healing and restoration like I can talk all day And you can get warm by my fire, but eventually Go make your own. Yeah, because there's people in your life that need to get warm and I had just spent a decade getting warm by other people's fires and
Still talking about God and prayer, but like, man, just a lot of angry prayer. Like, God, what is going on? This is not what you created me for. And Lindsay had sort of just, I'm gonna continue my walk with the Lord and I'm gonna trust that he's gonna get you, Jordan. That was the best thing she did for me. And my mom, my mom has been like a rock in this area in my life for a long.
And just allowing God to come get me because he knew how to get me. You know, like, and how is that so true today for the relationships that we have? Like once I see God, I guess what we just talked about last week, once Jesus, once someone experiences the heart of Jesus, like my job's done. Yeah. I don't have to drag you to church. Like you want to go now you've tasted it. The Bible talks about that. You got to go after it.
And I think I finally got to a place in my early 30s where I had just had enough of the religion and the Christian talk and quite frankly the the liars and the fakes the depart from me I never knew you people it looks good until you get close and you're like yeah they're they're blowing smoke I ain't real yeah that's not relationship like grace is a license to sin type people you know.
And I just had enough of it. And I'd seen the things that my family had gone through in ministry, and ministry can be brutal. People can be brutal in ministry. And just the fact that they never ran, they just, it made my family, I just always said people that leaned in more when it got tougher. So I had good examples of that. And.
I'm like, okay, God, if you're really who you say you are, I'm gonna give you another chance. Like I want this depth that people keep talking about that the Bible talks about. And we went into life groups. So in a big church, you know, like these mega churches that they have general teaching. And then if you want to get deep, you got to find the life groups, you got to get involved. So we did it. And we went in through years of life groups, in and out of life groups. And man, I just...
was like not feeling it and
I said to Lindsay, I'm like, I'm done with these life groups. Like, this is just, this is not working. Nobody's talking about Jesus. We're just talking about problems. Like, and yes, if you ever want to run a life group, you better have a relationship with the Lord because you can help people or you can really screw people up. But.
We had a Sunday. I will never forget this day. I'm like done with life groups. I pretty much was like, all right, God, it didn't work out. I'm just going to sit here in the back of this big church for the next 40, 50 years and I'm good with it and I'll get to heaven. But that purpose driven life that's for somebody else. We come out of that service. You ever been LCBC? I have not. You've been around. It's huge. Yeah. I think of multiple campuses and stuff. Yeah. It's awesome. And I loved going down there.
And you go in, you come out the sanctuary and there's a big auditorium, auditorium seating area. And in the back is this guy that we both know. And he's waves us over. It's like to be seen, to see somebody down there, you're talking, there's thousand people right there. And you're like, I see him. We go over, Hey, how you doing? He's talking to Lindsay. I'm just kind of standing there like, whatever he goes, Hey, I'm starting a life group. You guys want to join? I'm like, immediately I'm like,
Heck no. And these people come up who we had met. And he's like, I'm not going to use names here, but these people have played it. These three people have played a vital role in me on my journey back to the Lord. It all started that day in LCBC in the back of the church, a real estate guy and some restaurant owners and Hey, they're going to do it too. So Lindsay's like, yeah, yeah, we'll go. I'm like, Oh, here we freaking.
So we do that life group for a little while. It ends up dissolving. They kind of come to an end sometimes. Hey, we went through the Bible, what we're doing, like you guys want to continue or go start your own thing. That one ended. But it leads to a Bible study that the restaurant couple was running. And we get invited somehow. And we go in there. And God was so strategic.
He knew exactly when to get me. And it's the stupidest thing ever, but he will use anything to grab your heart when you're ready. And my heart had just been so destroyed by the devil to where it was just so raw to where I was just like open and ready for Jesus to just come in there. And this guy has a wild at heart bootcamp sword hanging on his wall. I don't even know this guy. Just end up in his house.
Like, what's that sword all about? He goes, oh, it's this wild a heart bootcamp. Um, I went to it with some friends and man, it's so great. And a couple of guys were talking about it. And I'm like, that really sounds like what I need. I don't know why. And lo and behold, I ended up through a series of events, getting to one in Colorado and God got me, man. You know, when he touches your heart, when those tears come and you just start like turn and you turn, turn and give him turning back.
And there's no, and exactly, there's no turning back. That is so true, CJ. That's a scary thing to say when you think about it. And that would be it. That's what, I'm all in on this thing. Like there's something that happens when you go from a life of quiet,
desperation and just faking it to like, I'm all in on this thing. And that's a crazy, I actually was just sort of crying about this the other night. Cause I was just like, would I really lay my life down for Christ? Just been like, have a heart for these, these churches around, like there's people like right now getting killed. Like right now. And here we are just.
And here we are having a podcast in a beautiful room that I had the ability to build. And it's just like, it's just so much blessing. And right now some guy in China is his family's life is on the line so he can have an underground church. And the other night I'm like, could I really lay my life down for Christ? And someone came in here and drug me and my family out into my front yard and held a gun to my head. Man, like I like to say,
hundred percent could do it. I don't know. And I'm not, it's just where I'm at with it. But I'm not in that situation either, but I am in that situation because what he asks, and I'm just on this journey of like, all right, Lord, I'm all in on you, but am I all in? And here comes this scripture of, this was right around the time where I'm like, I choose this path. Came back to me yesterday, Luke 14.
cost of following Jesus. I'm like, man, it was so cool because it was the day after I was having that thought and this is working through that that this was last night about one o 'clock in the morning this came up as I was reading last night. As massive crowds followed Jesus, he turned to them and said, this is Luke 14 26, when you follow me as my disciple, you must put aside your father, your mother, whoops.
your father, your mother, your wife, your sisters, your brothers, it will even seem as though you hate your own life. That right there. I actually said this two weeks ago, my God, I just hate my life. And I'm like, what the heck was that? Like normally people will be like, that's the devil. That's warfare. No, it says it right here. You want to follow me as a disciple. There will be times that it will seem.
that you hate your own life.
I'm like, holy cow, like, I actually don't hate my life. I just was in a moment of lamenting. And that's okay, because I'm a disciple of Jesus. This is the price you'll pay to be considered one of my followers. Anyone who comes to me must be willing to share my cross and experience it as his own. I would venture to say that Jesus, who was fully God and fully man, as he's getting,
Destroyed by these people was probably like not I Just love the 39 lashes. He's probably like I hate my life as a man This is not fun. He was because if I'm thinking that he's thought that thought like he experienced the same stuff that I experienced in my flesh That's different than being like just pawning it off on the devil. No, that was the devil Or am I really living a life for Christ and this is just part of the journey and I mean
Paul talks about that as well as like saying like, I'm fighting this battle in my flesh. My flesh wants this, but my spirit wants this. And it's just constant. And it's like, you get to that point where you start realizing it's a weight, like this battle, this tension that's happening between just the fact that we are fallen creatures. I think there's a lot of times we like to blame things on the enemy, but it might just be the bad choices we make. Most times you're just dumb. Yeah. Yeah.
You didn't get your oil change for 12 ,000 miles and your car broke down? That's not warfare, that's just stupidity. Making bad choices. I want to finish this scripture here.
So anyone who comes to me must be willing to share my cross. So the sufferings and stuff that we face, it's not all warfare. Some of it's just, it's part of the journey. Like we got to go through what Christ went through to experience the resurrection life that Christ experienced. Like I'm willing to go through that journey and experience it as his own, or he cannot be considered my disciple. So don't follow me without considering what it will cost you. Boy, like how many people...
Accept jesus and then their story is probably similar to mine. I accepted christ at a very young age The fear of the lord came in at a very young age He never left me because the holy spirit was in me. So I always had it. Nope But being a follower and a disciple that's a lot different than being a churchgoer warm church pew warmer on sunday And I only think you get to that place through a process so I would say everything that the the
Stuff that i've gone down the roads i've gone down like i had i want i didn't struggle with marijuana I enjoyed it It wasn't a struggle. It was like this is just fun fun like sin usually is for a little bit. Yes for a little bit a little bit and But I wouldn't say I was addicted to it. Yeah But you can tell when you start turning to things before you turn to god, right? It could be anything be your phone. Yeah, it's probably your phone. I had a lot of people like
Take your phone out right now and look at your screen time. If it's… I could take mine. Maybe it's like three hours a day. 40 minutes on YouTube, an hour on Facebook, whatever it is, it tells you exactly where you spend your time. Look at your Bible app. I'll bet you it's minutes, if anything. But you got an hour and a half on social media. I'll let the Holy Spirit convict you when you're looking at your phone right now laying in your bed. But yeah, go ahead. That's kind of a…
where I decided to become a disciple and take that journey. And that's a whole different. So yeah, great. And so bootcamp was a big turning point in your life where you just said like, God's now grabbed me. Yeah. He reached out and he, and there was no turning back at this point. So from that point on though, it's just been a cakewalk, right? Oh man. It's been so beautiful and easy. No, that's pretty much when I picked up my cross. Okay. I got to carry this thing. Somebody else has been carrying it. My mom's been carrying it. Lindsay's been carrying it.
Friends have been carrying it praying for me interceding for me hoping that God would get me. They've been carrying my cross The problem is some people get so used to carrying other people's crosses that they really don't want to give it back to them hmm, like there will be a time with relationships where you will be I think it's Galatians 5 or Galatians 6 talks about bearing one another's burdens to bear one another's burdens for a little bit, right? so let's say you're struggling with
I don't know say you're struggling with alcoholism Like okay, I have compassion and I want to how can I help you? So we meet and I start giving you scripture and speaking truth and helping you and we're six months in and you haven't changed a bit like I'm gonna give you your cross back because now your problems are becoming my problems and affecting my ministry, which is my family Yeah, you can have your problems back You need to go work that out with the Lord
So you've got to be able to learn when to not carry someone's cross because a guy like you who has a heart for people, you're going to carry a lot of people's crosses. You'll pick up their burdens in your men's group, in your church, as you start moving forward in ministry and that God's opening up doors for you. Okay. I'm a big guy, but I'm not that big. Um, so yeah, I basically just was like, oh, it's, it's my job to bear this cross because.
So I've had that conversation with my wife recently just cause she does have a lot of friends who are going through things and just being able to like help out and just encourage and try to speak some truth into their lives and have some grace in their lives and things like that. But it's very easy for her to just feel the weight of what they're going through and have this empathy where it feels like it's starting to weigh her down. And I remember telling her, it's like, these aren't your problems. Right. I like, I get the idea is what you're saying is what Galatian says about we are supposed to help burden, but things continue.
Like there's a point where Paul talks about turning people over to it. Yeah. Letting them go so that their spirit is saved. Yeah. God's going to use these situations to teach them something. And if you carry that cross for them, they're never going to learn the lesson. It's actually pride. I think it's pride on our part to carry on people wanting to fix it. I look at it this way. We all have to pick up our cross and carry our cross. We all have to carry it to the Hill and die to ourself.
At some point you're going to have to look yourself in the mirror and like I die to myself Like God my body my spirit. My will is yours. My heart is yours If I'm trying to do that for you, you know I'm pretty sure that God is going to correct you Let me how can I say this? You come to me with a problem with your marriage and I'm carrying your cross now and for the next two years I'm mentoring you I'm mentoring people
I'm coaching people. Look at me, I'm counseling people. First of all, why are you going around saying that? Second of all, after two years, you're still dealing with the same problem. There has been no movement. Jesus can move a lot faster than that because I'm carrying your cross and God wants to glorify himself through you with your cross. And I'm trying to get him to glorify me through your cross that I'm carrying. I'm pretty sure God's like, I'm gonna handle you, Mr. Prideful.
counselor, give it back to him so I can give myself the glory through CJ's life and the story and the testimony. And now you have an impact for the kingdom. I think that's an area where people who are in counseling, therapists, pastors, whatever can get bogged down. It's subtle. So subtle. So subtle. It's like, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to help people. I'm a pastor. I'm a shepherd. I'm a friend. Like I'm supposed to help these people.
But we have the same talk all the time about what you're enabling at this point. You're an enabler. You're an enabler. I'm supposed to be teaching you how to be a disciple and meet Jesus and then experience his healing so that you can go and do the same thing for people in your life. So much. It takes the pressure off. Heck yeah. Like it takes the pressure off. Like, Oh, I can't actually fix you or heal you. All I can do is give you a safe place to process. I can give you back.
some spirit -filled truths, some scripture, some advice, but Matthew 7, cast your pearls before swine, eventually I'm gonna decide, it's gonna be clear to me, are you taking the advice or aren't you? Well, if you're not, what do they do with it? They trample on it. It's so simple, dude. If I say to you like, hey dude, like, maybe you shouldn't go to the bar anymore. You're telling me every week you have a drinking problem, but you go to the bar every Friday after work. Maybe you should stop that. Three months later,
You're still coming in on Saturday for counseling and crying at your marriages and mess and you're at the bar and all that. Hmm. You're not listening to what I'm saying. So I'll tell you one more time and then we won't be meeting the next time because you're trampling on the truth and what happens next. They're going to turn on you and attack you. It happens every time. Well, they don't talk to me anymore because XYZ no.
Releasing you to carry your cross because God wants to glorify himself through you and you're gonna get all the freedom you need
It's beautiful thing. People have done it to me. It works. So how long was that process from, all right, God has now called you, pulled you in, no turning back. And you have now begun to get a point of healing restoration in your life. And how old are you now? Uh, just turned 39. All right. So when I say called, I'm not saying like called the ministry. Okay. I mean like called out of life of sin called out of life of it's all about Jordan to. Okay.
Life with a relationship with God. That's what I mean by when God has now called you and he's now saving Okay, gotcha, right the the scripture talks about being a lacked and that said where God is now grabbing you and going okay that boot camp was the first time that when God touched me in my Confession of my yeah sin where I actually felt his presence of like I take that I Want to heal that? Yeah Now the journey really began actually that was when it really started getting tough like
Up to that point, it was just like frustration, selfishness, anger, self -hatred, you know, negative self -talk. Once you start digging into the root of those things, like, oh man, that hurts. Like for me, it did anyway. And it was, I'm still healing in my relationship with the Lord. I don't know if I ever, would you ever really get, like we're on earth. This is a cursed earth right now until it's restored. I don't think you ever get to a place where it's like - You never get perfect.
I am the perfect son and I walk with the Lord like you're always growing in him. Right. Um, I think it's more of, we don't understand grace. It's all grace. This podcast is all grace. Like, I just knew that he was okay with me telling him the truth and not lying anymore. Cause we're faking it to the world. We're lying to ourselves in front of the world.
That's why you get close to people and you're like, eh, I really like what I see. Or some people you get close to and it's like, ooh, man, there's some, there's some good fruit there. Like, man, there's something different about those people. That's real. I want to get my kids around those people. I want those people at my dinner table, you know, versus you get real close and it's like, eh. Was there a point like after that happened, like you started seeing God put people in your life to help?
helping that process quickly. Yeah, quickly. Because when you get around an environment like that, an environment like that is not like going to church. You go to church, you get a mix of everything you get the the the pew warmers, the people that threw the towel and the people that were hurt by their last pastor sitting in the back, the guys that are on fire, like you get everybody in there and it's good. Like it's good. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Like I've been all of those. But
When you get an environment like that, it's just the people that are like, I'm desperate for Jesus to fix me and heal me. I'm ready. And when you get around that hunger and you're surrounded by hungry people, you just get your belief in what God can do. You're getting meat. You're getting meat. And now they're sharing their testimonies about their struggles. And you're like, well, if God did it for them, he could certainly do it for me. And now you start seeing the power of the testimony.
And now you start, oh, this is what freedom starts to feel like. I'm on the journey to real freedom in Christ. And you start forgetting about the 20th, 20 election. You start, you stop buying into the crap that the world's throwing at, but you get around people that are focused on the heart of Jesus. With that, like being said, I mean, you had a point of like those eight to seven, eight, nine years of just God's been working in your life, guiding you in ways.
starting to mold you into the person that he really wants you to be, what are some things that have helped you on that path to remain in a relationship with God, in having your focus on him? What are some things you did that allowed you to keep your focus there and not stray off?
I think for me it was the first time I understood the getting in the presence of the Lord. Because once you get that and you understand that, now you're like, oh, I can get in the presence of the Lord and He can start revealing to me through the scripture where He wants to work in my life. And you read scripture, you're like, okay, God, I give you access.
I give you access to this area, to this stuff. And I just made my circle real small. Like I did big circle, lots of people, lots of good people. I didn't hang out with like, I hang out with some rough people, but it was a good mix of people, good people. Just people that had eaten from the apple. And once you get a taste of the truth, you're like, Ooh,
I need to like really get focused on my relationship with the Lord. So I just started making space, getting real small, me, the Lord, let's dig into this, God. And if this takes a few years, it'll be worth it. I'd rather go through a few years of pain now at 35 than be dealing with this at 60 or dealing with it at 70. So whatever happens now, I'm okay with it if I get closer to you. And...
Surrounding myself with one, allowing Lindsay to just speak into me. That helped. It helps when your spouse is on the same page. Cause that can be a battle. Mentorship. Surrounding yourself with the right mentorship for the season of life that you're in. And then surrounding yourself with people that are hungry and then finding people that you can help.
I've grown more in helping other people than just sitting and sulking in my own stuff. There's so much truth to that. And not in the way that people would think. No, because it, like I always thought about it in like high school, an example was if I wanted to learn a subject, I taught it because then I like for me to teach them, I had to go to the nitty gritty of it. Why does this work out the way it does so that I could teach it? Yeah.
And you learn the ins and outs of it. So to your point where it's like, all right, I wanted to go help somebody through this now. Cause no, I'm not all the way through it myself, but now to answer your questions, I have to then reflect, like, wait, how did God move in my life? Why did he move? Where, what happened? Like, what were the causes? What were the root causes of this? Where did that happen? And it just makes you for a second go, okay, here, here's where I'm at. Well, we were just talking about it before we got here. You were saying that don't be so hard on yourself. Like I'm very self -aware.
And not to self -sabotage, but I'm just very self -aware of my heart posture. Like I never want, let me just talk about the last podcast. Could have come off a little condemning. That wasn't my heart. And just being aware of when you're helping people, usually for me, what ended up happening was you see people that are looking up to you and it makes you step up.
Okay, so if I'm going through, maybe I'm going through, um, Oh man, what's, what's a struggle that maybe we have marriage stuff. Yeah. And I'm helping you with your marriage. So you're like, Hey, I got major marriage stuff here. Here's what we're going on. God's going to help me in my marriage because I'm going to hear things for you. And it's going to be a lens into my life that I might be blind to. And now I'm like, Ooh, I haven't taken my wife on a date in a long time. And here I am telling you to do that. Uh, Oh,
Alert alert alert hypocrite Actually, I haven't done that so Helping other people like you just kind of help each other and you both grow together Like isn't that what God wants? He wants us all to grow together? Going up together. There's nothing worse than sitting down with someone who just like let me teach you everything You be completely vulnerable with me CJ, but I'm not gonna be vulnerable with you at all. Like what that's Manipulation like what what's going on here?
So yeah helping people spending time and finding that secret place Man when you start hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit like he can move immediately Like you don't have to go sit down on a quiet space to hear him like you can literally be driving down the road and Yeah, he can talk to you. Like it's a person just like Jesus Took me a long time long time to learn to hear the voice of the Lord. Yeah
And I still sometimes I'm like, is that the Lord is that me? Is that the Lord is that me? Like I still go back and forth. Like, is that my mind or my heart? My mind or my heart? Like I'm always trying to walk in that obedience. It's hard when you're in it. But when you look back, when you're past that season, you're like, okay, that one was God. That one wasn't that one was God. That one wasn't, but he promises that he'll use the one that wasn't for good because I love him. So it wasn't wasted. Um, sorry, but it wasn't wasted. Um,
So, I mean, with that, I mean, we got a picture of who Jordan was to begin with, right? You're a man who was brought up in the faith. Your family was praying for you, leading you in the way, gave you just this foundation of what God is, who God is. And then, yeah, the typical, like, man, got out on my own. Didn't forget God, but I got put to the wayside. And from that point on, it's just like, God has been sitting there ever since.
slowly pulling you back in. Yeah. Letting things happen that challenged you, allowing you to go through struggles. And then at some point he finally said, all right, watch this. Got you in the right places at the right times. Yeah. Pulled you to boot camp and he grabbed hold of you and he hasn't let him go. It's like he knew. He knew exactly what you needed and has been pulling you ever since and guiding you on that way. And now at that point I see from what you're saying is you made your stake in the claim going, this is where I want to be.
That actually didn't happen until recently. Okay. I didn't put a stake in the ground in the last five years. I just had enough guts to be like, Lord, I'll do this and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I didn't really put that stake in the ground until really recently. And that's when that question's cancer. Why that question came up the other night. You put your stake in the ground. You chose this life discipleship. What happens if in 15 years they come around, start persecuting Christians in America? It could happen. Yeah.
Wait, honestly, it could happen quickly. It could happen a lot quicker Would I be able to do it you put your stake in the ground, you know what that means You choose me over your wife. Yeah over your daughters over your son over your friends and you encourage them to do the same Yeah so It's a real thing I was reading this
I was reading this last night, it was actually early this morning, and this scripture has always kind of been my like, maybe a go -to of just like, when things get tougher, when things are good. John 15, five, I am the vine, you're the branches. Abide in me, abide in me, abide in me. For some reason last night, it stuck out to me differently. And I'm just gonna read the first couple, I'm just gonna read maybe like the first couple verses here, and then I'm.
go wherever you want to go from there. John 15, I'm Jesus the living vine. I am the true sprouting vine and the farmer who tends to the vine is my father. He cares for the branches connected to me by lifting and propping up the fruitless branches. So if we're not bearing fruit, Galatians 5 .23, in our life, because people are watching, they're looking for that fruit. If we're not bearing fruit, God actually
Lifts us up because we're connected to him. So he's gonna lift us up and prune us so we can bear fruit So it may not look like we're bearing fruit right now, but he's like no stay connected to me Whatever that looks like. Oh, you're running away from me, but you're still connected a little bit I'm gonna get you pruning doesn't sound like it feels good either pruning means cleansing No, it can be painful and we can confuse that for warfare. Yeah. Oh the enemy's coming against me or next verse Lifting and propping up the fruitless branches and pruning
every fruitful branch to yield greater harvest. So I think we get confused here. And I did this for years. Well, this is just warfare. The enemy is trying to attack me in this area and this thing and yada, yada, yada. It can happen, but you've got to have good discernment. Get around people with good discernment and start understanding it. Actually, what if God, this tough thing you're going through, this suffering for Christ, carrying your own cross is actually
God pruning you, cleansing you, because he wants that fruitful branch to yield an even greater harvest. That's a totally different way of approaching your life. This just happened this morning, by the way. I don't know why this stuck out to me at this time. Like, oh, it's actually not warfare. I'm actually pruning and preparing my people. I sent that to a couple guys this morning because it was I'm like, this is for them, too. It's for you. It's for anybody who right now is struggling.
Lot of people are struggling. They saw some breakthrough and then it got hard and they're like, oh man the devil I Would bet that nine out of ten times chances right now. That's actually not warfare I think God's just pruning his church and his disciples the ones that have put their stake in the ground Luke 14 I choose the life of discipleship and following Jesus tells you what that looks like Now he's gonna start working on you and pruning you so for the last five years I
There was some warfare. I gave way too much attention to that. It actually wasn't warfare. It was actually pruning. He's like, you've been connected to me your whole life. And now you've actually opened your heart and now you're saying, Jesus, I invite you in to start cleansing me, pruning, give you permission. That's not the devil. That's God. Taking that branch that is starting to bear fruit.
Raising it up so it bears fruit and then when it starts bearing fruit now, he starts pruning it even more so these tough seasons that people are going through right now the tough season in your marriage if you have Christ in your mind and in your heart and in the conversation with your wife your kids your boss your employees Whatever. It's probably pruning in that warfare I'm glad you make that distinction because there's a lot of times to or like balancing that out you go
wait, my marriage is hard right now and I don't know why. Right. Like I feel like we've been doing everything right or no. And then I'll take that back. I feel like if I look back on myself, like I'm just a problem. Yeah. You can see like, all right, your marriage is struggling right now is because you're selfish or yeah, your marriage is struggling right now because you're being attacked. But in your case, as you're saying there, it's like, no, like your marriage isn't necessarily struggling right now. It's being put through the fire. Right. It's being refined. Yeah.
And since your focus, your talking, your discussions are on God, what's going on here? God's using that. And he's, since he is the focus of your marriage, he is now molding that into it. And I'll tell you, if you talks about God being the potter and we are the clay, I got news for you. If you're being mushed into something beautiful, it's not going to feel pretty. No. But you're being taken from what you once were, you know, dust, ash, just a vessel.
and being created into something that God can use. It's going to take fire. It's going to take power. It's going to take pressure. All those things, you know, first thing to pop in my head is diamonds, of course, but I don't want to sound cheesy. A little bit of pressure, you turn into a diamond. No. How do you make olive oil? Yeah. You can crush it. So there's power in the pressing. Right. And it's all to develop your character. Like you don't want, I've seen more people in the last five years that were
Given a little bit of success or breakthrough and then it was taken away from them. Hmm, and I'm like That's interesting. Oh You didn't have the character to handle the anointing It wasn't taken away from you as in a like God's like I'll have that back. It's like no, you're not ready No, I gave you a little piece. You're not ready because it will destroy you if I give you that your character is not ready for it yet, and I think
For me, I still don't even think for me if I look back over the last five years of my life It is a majority of it has been pruning god cleansing the enemy trying to stop some things and Just a whole lot of grace like a lot of grace. Yeah, and So for example like the enemy versus pruning let's say marriage
So let's say at the beginning of these five years, Lindsay and I were like, I had to like be talked about. I had to get back in my rightful spot as head of this home. You cross a little bit of a rough season, you come through. So in that rough season, that's God pruning and cleansing. Hey, you want to be the head. So we got to go through, back through these fights you've had, back through the disagreements. And so those arguments were cleansing and pruning. Where's the warfare in that?
Well, that's when I walk away and I'm like, man, she's such a beep beep beep or you know what? She hates me. I hate her. Like this marriage is blah. I want to get a divorce. That's the devil. That's warfare. But what's happening is God's pruning and cleansing so you can bear fruit. But we give access to the devil to come into that journey and mess with us. And once that divorce word comes up, like we haven't said that word in.
I got 15 years, but I remember we used to throw that around like, Oh man. And even now to just like think about it. It's like, once the devil gets you saying something like now you get that stronghold going. And that's kind of like the deceptive part. It's amazing too. And like the sense of, as you're going through those pruning processes, the one of the best things I'm not going to say it's the best, but one of the best things I think you could do is lose that sense of pride. Yeah. Stay humble.
and utilize God's character. What he says is the fruits of the Spirit. Because there's gonna be a lot of times as you're making that transition, as you're saying, is where you're gonna be faced with this. And if you wanna step up and be the aggressive man that wants to just force his way around and say, this is what's gonna happen, it's gonna get ugly. But when you're able to bow down and go, okay, this is where I'm supposed to be, but I'm not gonna be able to get there by bull heading my way through the situation. There's some forgiveness that has to happen.
There's some repenting. There's some just asking for forgiveness. That has to happen. And, uh, when you can have that humility, lose the pride, that process is going to be a little bit easier. But losing pride's hard. It is. And the devil just gets more subtle with it. So it's like, you know, pride is easy in the beginning when it's big. It's what happens when you understand it, recognize it. Now it starts getting more subtle. That's where I learned about bearing other people's crosses. You can actually get prideful in that.
Well, I'm counseling seven people. Yeah. So are any of them getting set free? Do any of them have any fruit in their life? No. Maybe you don't want to be talking about how you're counseling people. Maybe you shouldn't be versus like if you're really discipling people and helping people grow, you don't have to explain it. They're bearing fruit. Like they're just bearing fruit. You don't have to go around telling people, look at them, look at what they're doing. Yeah.
You just look for the next opportunity. My goal would never be to be like, Hey, I'm counseling people. No, I got five people under me. No, no. That's how you open yourself up for a lot of headaches. I don't even talk about it now. So in closing, what is your favorite scripture to lean on? Oh boy. Is there one? Not really. You know, I've got a lot of, not really. It's just interesting how for me,
God has a way of putting the scriptures in front of me that I need for that day or that season. Like, I couldn't, like right now it's Psalm 27 and John 15, Luke 14. Those are the three chapters that I'm kind of like just, they're highlighted for me right now. There's that John 15, I've been reading that for five years and for some reason last night it really just had a whole nother level. So yeah, Romans 8 .28 is a good one for if you think you've wasted time.
God will use all things to good for those that love him. Because we all make mistakes. I make mistakes. Just make mistakes regularly. It's not an agreement. We're just human in the flesh. But turning to God, repenting and praying for grace over that situation and whatever else you feel is you're discerning needs prayer over it, like God will take that and use it for good. It's how he does it. So that one has helped me a lot. And then Psalm 12, five, which the Lord will surround those with favor like a shield.
When you're going through a season of testing that favor you're like, ah All right, Lord, I believe you but it all comes if you don't if you don't believe the scripture that you're reading forget it, right? It has no power That's in the loop 14 or John 14 or whatever it talks about Let the word be in you powerfully and then ask me anything in my name and I'll do it. So if the word is in me meaning like
I really believe that the Lord surrounds those with favor like a shield. I really believe that you will use things too good for those that love you. So I just made a mistake. I just made a mistake with my children, with my wife, with my business, with my ministry, with the podcast, whatever. That's how I can move past the conversation we had here at the beginning about the past episodes. Okay, I need to grow and get better and Lord, but you will still use that in some way, shape or form.
That means he may use it for some bad PR, but it might grow in downloads. Like you never know how he's going to do it. But if you believe that, I don't care how you do it, God, as long as you use it for good. Yeah. So. Cool. Yeah, man. Thanks for sharing. Yes. So that's it for this week's episode. So I guess what we really would like is for people to subscribe, give us a five star review on the platform you're listening to.
share this with somebody and open up the conversation in your home with your children, with your wife. Just get the conversation going of like, hey, we haven't been to church in a while. Maybe we should go. And that's anybody, children, moms, dads, like get the conversation going again. I promise you there will come a point where you will look back and you will be like, wow, Jesus really does.
promise and do everything that the Bible says he will do. He really does it. And you've got the guts to do it. You've got the power to do it. If you have the Holy Spirit, he's doing it. Just yield. And if you are somebody who does go to church, but then again, it's just a check mark off the list for a Sunday challenge you to stake your claim. Yeah. Go, all right, there's more to this than what I see and what I know. I'm going to dig a little deeper. Yeah. And meet God. Yeah.
If you've been sitting at the back of your church and you have your regular seat, move to the front this week. It's a totally different atmosphere in the front three rows than it is in the back three. Meet with your pastor, get involved in the small groups. You have to get around the right community where you will spend another year worrying about the thing you're worrying about right now. Right now, someone's going to be listening to this. They're going to be laying in bed worrying about their bills, their marriage, their kids, what they're going to do tomorrow. Trust me.
No, no, don't trust me. Trust God. He's got it all worked out. That it? That's it. All right, buddy. Well, I will catch you next week. Thank you, everybody.