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The Everyday Judaism Podcast (formerly Living Jewishly Podcast) is dedicated to learning and understanding the laws and basic how-to of daily Jewish living. Presented by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe in a simple and concise manner, easy for anyone to understand and connect.
This Podcast Series is Generously Underwritten by Marshall & Doreen Lerner.
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Everyday Judaism Podcast.
Good morning, welcome back everybody to the Everyday Judaism Podcast. We are now continuing Chapter 45, Simmon 45, Memhei, where Seif Vav, where the Ketzeshochonor teaches us about the laws of Zimun. Zimun is what we call to prayer at the end of our meal. So whenever our meal is done, we call everyone who's been sitting together, if we have three
adult males there, we'll talk about three adult females as well, but you call them to prayer with the Rabotai Nevarech, a way of glorifying Hashem. Halacha number six. The following four Seif in detail the procedure of the Zimun blessing from the opening word until the conclusion of the Birkas Hamazon and the drinking of the wine. If you remember last week, we discussed how we hold the glass of wine. Remember we mentioned we hold the glass of wine, one Tefach above the table.
We hold it all the way through till Al Yichas Reinu, till the end of the fourth blessing. Now we are going to talk about how the calling for blessing comes about. HaMevarech Yomer Metchilo. The one leading the blessing should first say, Havlan V'Nivrich, which is the Sephardic way of saying it, Havlan, which is give us the cup of wine and we will recite Birkas Hamazon. We'll recite the Grace After Meals. For all matters of sanctity require some form of preparation, an invitation.
We know this with our morning prayer, as we've been doing in our prayer podcast on Tuesday mornings. Before you start praying, you have to prepare yourself. You have to get yourself into the frame of mind. You have to get yourself into the mindset. Oh, Yomer Kimo Hanogim, Lomer Biloshon Ashkenaz, Rabboi Samevel and Benshin, or as they say in Yiddish, Rabbo Sai, which is gentlemen, let's recite the blessing. And everybody there sitting responds, Yehi Shem Hashem Mevorech Meha Tov Adolam, let
the name of Hashem be blessed from this time until eternity, which is a verse in Psalms. And then the one who's leading the blessing recites back to everyone. And if there's 10 people, we'll say Elokhenu, we'll see in a minute. With the permission of all those in front of us, we would like to bless Hashem for what we have eaten. And then everybody else responds, Baruch Shechalu Mishlom Tuvah Chayinu, blessed is he of whose we have eaten.
And then the leader responds to this again, and then they begin to pray, to recite the blessings of Birkas HaMazon. And in some places, Shol Achar Shesim HaMevorech Hu B'tuvah Chayinu, Onim HaMesu Bin Omein. In some places, after he finishes the introductory, it's just a few short lines. As soon as the leader is done, everyone says Amein, because what we're doing is essentially we're saying we want to praise Hashem, we want to thank Hashem for the gift that he
has bestowed upon us with the food that we had just enjoyed. B'taz Mekomos, in some other places, Lona Goloma Amein. And in some other places, they did not have the custom of reciting Amein. Today we don't. I don't think there's any place that I've been to where I've noticed that they say Amein after this. Gam Yesh Minhagim Shonim, B'ini Anamir Has Boruch Hu Baruch Shmoy, there are other customs regarding whether they say Boruch Hu Baruch Shmoy, blessed is he, blessed is his name,
right before reciting the Grace After Meals. Yesh Nogim Shamevorech Omra Afilu K'Shem Mizamnin Rak B'Shloshah. Some have the custom that one who leads the Zimon blessing recites it even when the Zimon is performed with only three people. V'yesh Omrim She'eim Lo Omro, and there are those who say that you don't say it if there's only three people, rather only if there's ten. Elo K'Shem Mizamnin B'Sharom. K'Shem Askei R'sh Hashem, when you do recite the name of Hashem.
So now, when you have ten people, three people, you just say Rabbosai Nivorech and you continue regularly. When you have ten people or more, then you say Nivorech Elokeinu, okay, you add the name of Hashem to it, and this is the reason we mentioned previously that when we have ten, it's a quorum of people, and Hashem is sort of in a more ready state to hear from us, willingness to hear from us. Oz Yomru, then you do say Baruch Hu Baruch Sh'mo. Okay.
V'khein Yeh Shlinog V'haMesuv B'lo Yomru, definitely it should only be said by the leader and not by the rest of the people participating. Mekom Mekom, certainly Mi Yishe Mevorech Baruch Hashem B'lo Zimon, whoever recites Baruch Hashem B'lo Zimon without a Zimon, Sh'lo Yomru, he should not say Baruch Hu Baruch Sh'mo before the benching. So if you look in the bencher, you will notice, so right in the beginning, you have Baruch Hu Baruch Sh'mo.
Okay, it's right in the beginning of the Baruch Hashem B'lo Zimon, here you go, thank you. And it's only said, according to some opinions, when there's a Zimon, for short. Some say only when you have 10 people. Okay. Halacha number seven, HaMevorach Yevorech B'kol, the person, this is a big mistake that many people don't know, the person who leads the grace after meals, the person who calls order and gets everyone to begin the prayer, should be reciting the entire Birkas Hamazon, the entire grace after meals out loud.
You say it out loud. V'haMesuv B'lo Yomru Yimmo Mila B'mila, and those who are sitting around the table should recite along with him, word for word, quietly, U'bisov Kol Brocho Ya'kdimu L'Saim Kodama L'hamavorech K'dei Sheeyanu Amein Aber Chasso. She says that when every, because they're all reading along together with the leader of the group, so, but at the end of the blessing, they need to say Amein for the blessing. So they should finish slightly before him so that they can get in on his blessing and
recite Amein after his blessing. Halacha number eight. Achar Birkas Hamazon, after the conclusion of the grace after meals, after Birkas Hamazon, the after blessing, Mevorach Halakos Sheberach Olof, he recites the blessing for the wine that's in his cup. V'shoteh Shee-Ur-Rev'yis, and he should drink a Rev'yis, which is between 2.9 and 5 fluid ounces of the cup, K'dei Shee-Yuchah L'vorech Brocha Choronah, so that he can recite the grace after the wine. Okay, there's a special blessing that we recite after that.
Im Kosos Shel Hamasubin Hein P'gumos, if the cups of the diners are P'gum, remember what P'gum was? It was wine that was used before, so you can't recite another blessing on that same wine that was used before. Tzarach HaMevorach Lit'ein Mi'kosa Me'atz, so then he puts from his cup into their cup a little bit. Achar Sheberach Borich P'gaf, and after he recites the blessing of Borich P'gaf, and K'odem Shee-Yishtehu, before he drinks, K'dei Shee-Yivoruch Hu Gam Heim, so that they should
recite as well, Al Kosos She'einen P'gumos, on cups that are not P'gum, again P'gum is wine that's already been used for a blessing. So now that wine is already used, now in order for that wine to be non-P'gum, you have to add more wine to it. I'll give you an example. So last night, we have a, I don't want to say communal, but we have a lot of people at our Havdalah. Havdalah is the end of Shabbos, we have three main blessings that we recite, the blessing
on the wine, the blessing on the scent, on the things that we smell, on the candle, which has two wicks, we talked about this last week as well, the two wicks that connect the Shabbos and the weekday, the Shabbos. And then we have the blessing, Hamavdol Ben Kodesh L'chol, the Hamavdol Ben Kodesh L'chol who separated between holy and the mundane, between Shabbos and weekday. So those are four blessings total, of which three of them are action items, one is on
the wine, one is on the scent, and one is on the candle. Okay, great. As soon as I'm done, someone walks in, like, oh, you missed it. So now I already drank the wine, I have some wine left in the cup, that wine is called Pagun, right? It's already used, it's already recited on. So how do you fix this? I'm not going to drink the rest and then fill a whole new cup, it's like, right, why?
So what you do is you add wine to it, pour wine from the cup back into the bottle, and then you can use it, so you basically mixed with the fresh wine, back into it, and then you can continue using some of that wine. That's how you un-pagamize the wine. Okay, there's another thing is also, he says, before you drink the wine, give it out. If you remember, we discussed this previously, where the Ketzer Shochanach teaches us, be very conscientious about germs, remember that?
We discussed this, that if you're drinking from your cup and then you're sharing it with everybody else, that would not be, also there are people who are delicate of nature, and they don't want to, they get, you know, they don't want to drink from somebody else's cup. So he says, pour it out before you drink from it, after you recite the blessing, before you drink from it. V'chein, im koso shel hahen reikon yos, if they have empty cups, nos lo tocha me'at kos
shel brocha, then you give everybody some of the kos of the blessing, which a blessing was recited on it. V'lo yitom at she yitom hamevarch, and they should not drink before the person, the leader, the one who recited the blessing, before he drinks. Aval, im yesh lahem kosos befnei atzmom ve'enon p'gumos, if they have their own cups of wine, and they're not pagum, ein hamevarch tsarokh litem lehem mi kos shelo, he does not need
to put from his cup into theirs, v'yicholon litom kodem she yitom hu, and they can drink it before he drinks, v'chein nochron, and this is the proper practice, v'tov im evshar, it is best, if possible, she yiyi ala kol echad kos maleh, if everybody can have their own full cup of wine during the recitation of the Berekah of Moslem. I don't know anybody who does this, I don't know anybody who has everybody in the, around
the table, having a full cup of wine, I've never seen that before, but if there are those who do it, then the Kitzer says that it's praiseworthy for them to do that. Halacha number nine, im hamevarch einorot zalishtos, if the leader does not wish to drink the wine, yesh omrim, there are some who say, diyochol litem l'ish achim min ha'smuch min ha'masubim, he can give the wine after he recites the Berekah of Moslem to somebody else, she yivarch Berekah of Moslem, or the other person should recite the Berekah of
Moslem for him, v'yishtesh yiraviis, and that person should drink a raviis, v'yivarch borach achrono, and that person should recite the after-blessing, v'yishomrim, and there are those who say, de'ein lasos kein, that you should not do this, eladavka ha'mavarch bezimun, hu yivarch halakos, v'chein ochon lasos, and the proper thing, says the author here, is that the person who leads the benching is the one who should recite the blessing on the wine, and should drink the wine, and so he says that's the proper thing to do.
Now again, in circumstances where that's not possible, if the person, I'll give you an example, I have, I told you that we have people come to us for Havdalah, so one of the people who come to us for Havdalah is a person who was struggling with alcoholism, and I mentioned this story previously, I don't know if you remember it, it's quite an incredible story. After Abraham Kanievsky passed away, the great great Torah leader passed away, many stories
came out about his miraculous blessings and things that he's done for people, it was really incredible. So one of the stories that came out that was particularly, hit home, is that people would come to him and say, you know, Rabbi, my wife and I have been married for many years, we haven't had any children, we tried all the treatments, we tried everything, all the segulot, all of the omens, nothing worked, what do we do, we want to have children, so the Rabbi
pulled out, you see, first asked him, he says to them, what do you make Havdalah, recite Havdalah on, they said grape juice, now it's common for people to recite Havdalah on grape juice because it's the end of Shabbos, wine, it's heavy, you know, just a little grape juice is fine. See, he said, the Talmud says that anybody who recites Havdalah on wine is guaranteed children who will be righteous Torah scholars. He says in that promise is that you'll have children.
One after another, nine months later, ten months later, eleven months later, they all had babies. They started having Havdalah on wine, so I have a friend of mine, Aaron Houston, who was struggling with having children, he did many, many treatments and it was very, very, very stressful for him and his wife, and I told him the story. He says to me, yeah, I appreciate that, but I'm a recovering alcoholic, I can't drink wine.
So the conclusion was, is I invited him and I said, come to my house, I recite Havdalah on wine and you'll be part of, you'll recite, I'll recite Havdalah for you. And since then, him and his wife come and they join us for Havdalah. And now you're wondering what's the punchline, right? They're now there with their one-year-old daughter. So it's been already many years that they've been coming and Baruch Hashem, it's really an amazing, an amazing promise that the Talmud makes and it comes to fruition, Baruch Hashem.
Okay, as mentioned above, the Zimon blessing is recited only when a minimum of three people have eaten together. In the next several Sefer, Kitzur explains the importance of forming and retaining this group so that the mitzvah can be performed properly. So imagine you're eating your meal and then one person says, you know, I got to run, I have to, I have a meeting I got to run to. The other person's like, keep them together, recite the blessing, and then everyone go.
To glorify the name of Hashem, together is much better than as individuals. It's always better to praise Hashem in a quorum of people, in a group, a minimum of three. So if one person's going to leave, you're going to have only two left, you're not going to be able to bench together. So keep that person there, figure out a way, say, you know what, and plan it in advance. What I do when we're hosting many people for Shabbos, what would happen is you have
all these different people, you know this one, I have to go back, my dog, I have to feed my dog, I have to walk to this, and hey, but everyone has their thing. So what we always try to do, because we wanted the benching to be together, is that we would say, you know what, we're going to bench, we would have the meal, regular meal, beautiful meal, and as soon as we see that people are getting antsy and they're going to start leaving,
we would bench, and then we would have the dessert. And the reason is, those who want to stay, stay all night, we don't care, we love it. Enjoy the schmoozing and enjoy the camaraderie and everything. But those who need to leave, they shouldn't leave without having benched, they shouldn't leave without having thanked Hashem for the food. You know that Abraham, Abraham, our patriarch, was the father of hosting guests. He would invite people in all the time, and that's how he made many converts, how did he make converts?
Because people would come to him from all over, you know, he had a tent, and anybody who would pass by, come in and eat, and then when they'd leave, they'd say, thank you. And he'd say, no, no, no, what are you thanking me? Thank God. He said, God, what are you talking about? He says, yeah, what do you think? I made the food? I don't make the food. Hashem makes the food, it comes from Him. Tell me more. And he would start explaining to them.
And then they'd say, you know what, I want to stick around for a little bit more teaching about this said God. And that's how he got, it says, Abraham would convert the men, and Sarah would convert the women. The idea that they would inspire people to connect with a, with our Creator. So Allah continues, says, two people who ate together. It is a mitzvah for them to ask a third person, to join them as the group in the Zimon.
And even if the third one arrives, after the first two have finished eating, even if the third person arrives after the first two finish eating, but if they were not completely sated, they were not completely full, that if they would be served a dessert, they would eat it. So the mitzvah for them to ask a third person, Zimon, that means they're not stuffed, stuffed, stuffed. They can still eat more if they wanted to. So now this third person joining them, so then what happens?
So now this guy who joins them, the third guy, even though he's just eating a little bit, he's just eating a teeny little bit, but since it's enough for him to recite a blessing, he's considered part of the group. And now he is part of the Zimon. And this is a beautiful thing for them to have a Zimon, to give more honor to Hashem. Yei Shalom, there are those who say, that you need specifically the third person to eat bread in order to join the quorum.
As long as that it's sufficient for this third member to just eat any grain, that if he even eats any fruits or vegetables, it is sufficient for him to join the quorum of three. And there are those who say, even if he doesn't eat anything, he just drinks a little bit of drink, except for water, then he can join the group. And the last opinion is the accepted custom. Usually he gave five opinions here of who can join the Zimon. Five.
First, someone who's going to wash with them, someone who's going to eat a kazayis, someone who's going to eat a fruit, a vegetable, someone who's going to eat a pastry, and someone who just drinks something. And the last is the five different opinions as who can join. The bottom line is, what we see here, is that we're more and more lenient in order to bring praise to Hashem. To bring praise to Hashem is a very, very incredible thing.
And we want to bring them together to join the group. And this is the custom. And even if he did not eat, he did not drink, he may still recite the words, for we have eaten from him, from Hashem's kindness, because drinking is like eating. And after they finish, then he can recite his blessing for what he drank, or what he ate. If the third person arrives, after the two have washed their maim achronim, once they
wash their maim achronim, it's already there in the category of blessing, he cannot join at that time. Unless, a little trick you can do here, what they can do is they can eat a little bit more with this third person, and then he's considered to be part. But once they already washed their hands from maim achronim, it's considered to be the end of the meal, and now he can't join them anymore. Shlosho she'ach lub'yachad, we'll do one more halacha for this week.
Shlosho she'ach lub'yachad, three people that have been eating together. Kei von she'nishchayivu b'zimun, since they are now obligated in zimun, einon rishon lechalik, they are not allowed to be divided, separated. V'chein arba v'chein chamishe, so too if you have four people, or if you have five people. Afilu echad mehem, einu irash chai levorach mefnei atzmo, even one of them cannot bench on their own. They have to bench now together. Shekulam nishchayivu b'zimun, because they're all now in this obligation of the zimun.
Imu shisho, but if there's three, sorry, if there's six people, which would now make two sets of three, Adasara yechon lechalik, then they can separate. So imagine you have this. You're sitting five people, you're just having lunch together at work. Five Jewish adults, you're having lunch together. So now guys like, okay, we got to get back to work, right? Let's bench, let's recite the Grace After Meals. So five people, you can't, none of them can leave and bench without all of them reciting the zimun together.
But if you have six, now you can divide them up to two sets of three. These guys say, we want to bench right now. These guys say, we want to bench in 10 minutes. No problem. You can have two separate groups, and that's fine. And the same if you have seven or eight or nine, but once you have 10, now you can't break that up because that's elokeinu, because you add the extra elokeinu, and that elevates it to the next level.
So now we are going to stop here. My dear friends, we are up to Askoe number 41. My dear friends, thank you for joining us on this broadcast. We are deeply grateful. Thank you so much and have a magnificent week.
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