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Welcome to the Inspirational Media podcast, Timeless Voices for Today's World. We bring you powerful Bible-based messages from over 300 speakers in our library, speaking hope, truth, and encouragement into everyday life, faith that's fresh, wisdom that lasts. Let's dive in.
I am Dr. Ed Wheat, and with your permission, I would like to share with each of you some very intimate and personal facts that have proven useful in premarital consultation and marriage counseling as a family physician and as a Christian friend. Recent years have brought out important new medical knowledge and skills relating to sexual functioning. Most of us have vast amounts of misinformation, inhibitions, misconception, and quite simply inadequate knowledge of sexual physiology. This may seem curious in a time when we are so open and free to discuss sex, but it seems to be only the useful and accurate information which is excluded. Freedom to disseminate ignorance and wrong standards does not help anyone. And most of our own sexual knowledge has come from trial and error or has not come at all. If there is a lack of open loving communication between husband and wife, a couple can be married many years and never really learn what pleases each other sexually. It will be helpful for you to realize as you listen to this discussion that what is learnable is also teachable. So we do not all have to repeat the same mistakes that are causing sexual problems for others. My purpose in this message to you is to provide factual information which will lead to understanding, skill, confidence and well-being. in the sex relationship in marriage. I feel that the greatest mistake made by our Puritan forefathers was not, as many say, the rigid limitations placed on the subject of sex, but a failure to realize that God gave the responsibility for the father and then to the mother to communicate their needs to one another, and then to instruct and train the children as the father told his son in Proverbs 5:18 and 19, "Let thy fountain are your body parts which produce life be breast and rejoice or ecstatically delight but the wife of value. Let her breast satisfy or intoxicate you with delight at all times and be thou lavished always with her love that is to enjoy her with liberty and ecstasy. The beginning of this chapter says this is wisdom and the end of the chapter says God approves this activity. All of us should be aware that God is not down on sex. In fact, he thought it up. He invented it. Sex is discussed very openly in the Bible and very matterof factly that it is considered a gift of God. After stating that God created male and female, Genesis 1:31 says, "And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning was the sixth day. God elaborates on this creation of Adam and says from a part of Adam his wife was taken. This shows man is not complete without his women. This is summarized and symbolized beautifully and the very first mention of marriage. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. This is Genesis 2:24. There are three verses. specific commands given here even before any sin had come into the human race. They are number one, get your parents and in-laws out of your marriage. And this was before even one mother-in-law existed. Dear ones, do not get into position of dependence on your parents in your marriage. Number two, the man shall clean or cling to his own one wife. And this Word wife is singular. Number three, they shall have sexual union, be one flesh, defer to full spiritual and bodily union and sexual intercourse. Jesus, our Lord, quoted this very verse in Matthew 19:4 and 5 and in Mark 10 7-9, thus re-emphasizing this as a direct statement of God. God divided woman from man. He now commands them to again become joined together as one. Accompanying this, God says, "And they both were naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Basically, this is to really see each other and completely accept each other undisguised and as each really is and not be ashamed, disappointed, or frustrated. And In a way to understand this very important part of our life, we must have some very clear definitions of human anatomy. I will seek to explain this to you by defining each part of the reproductive system in as clear a way as I know how. And I will try to give you descriptions and language as specific that is simple and discreet as the complex nature of this subject will permit. Much of this will be very elementary to you as adults, but I will try to mention things of particular importance to our subject of sex as we go along. I will also mention some medical problems that may arise in certain organs. I had been a family physician for over 20 years and have had the privilege of discussing these things with hundreds of couples that I know quite well. I want you to imagine as you listen that I am your physician talking to you. in the privacy of my medical clinic. Let me say at this point that the following information is very intimate and personal and I feel it would not be discreet for you to listen to this in the presence of anyone other than your own husband or wife. Now as you listen to this technical information, it will be essential that you refer to detailed drawings of the female anatomy. Now we will try to learn something of the reproductive system by first Examining the female anatomy. The organs that can give genesis to life are called the genitalia. A Latin word that means to give birth. The female birthgiving organs are in two groups. One group is outside the body and easily visible. It is called the external genitalia. They are the gateway to the second group of reproductive organs inside the body called the internal genitalia. with two ovaries, two ovducts or tubes, the uterus and the vagina. The reproductive organs are formed several months before one's own birth that remain inactive until puberty, usually age 12 to 15, and they receive the signal to condexual maturity. This important signal is given by the pituitary, a small gland situated very appropriately at the base of the brain. brain. The word ovary comes from the Latin word ova, which means eggs. Each ovary is about the size of a robin's egg, although more flattened and of a pale creamy color. At the time of puberty, the surface of the oval is smooth. Shimmering through the surface, there are many tiny glistening droplets called follicles. Each of these ovarian follicles holds an immature egg or oam. That is the female cell of reproduction. The eggs in the droplets are so small they would be only barely visible. They're smaller than a dot on an eye and it would take at least 2 million of them to full a sewing thimble. When the baby girl is born, there are about 300,000 to 400,000 follicles in the ovaries, although only about 3 to 400 will ever actually reach maturity and be released from the ovary. If more than one OAM or egg is released at one time, and if both over or fertilized, a twin pregnancy may result. These would not be identical twins, but would be fraternal twins, merely brothers or sisters born at nearly the same time. Identical twins come from a division of a single fertilized egg, producing identical twins, of course, always the same sex. The word ovducts means egg ducts. These are also known as the fulpin tubes. There are two, one for each ovary. Each of these tubes is about 4 in long, about as wide as a telephone cord and is mainly made of muscle. The muscular ovducts are essential to the transport of the tiny immobile eggs so small they could easily be lost. At the same time, the ovducts provide the meeting ground for the female egg and male sperm which are coming to each other from opposite directions. An egg coming from the ovary must first of all be caught by the ovduct. Neither ovduct is directly attached to its ovary. Instead, each ovduct has a trumpet-shaped widened opening near the ovary. This opening is rimmed with finger-like fringes that conduct a constant sweeping motion which carries all before it into the ovduct. This internal passage about the size of the point of a pencil has a deep red velvety lining with minute clumps of brush-like hairs called psyia. The psyia are the sweepers that help to keep the egg gently flowing toward the womb. An infection, particularly a veneerial disease, may block these tubes causing a woman to be unable to have children. Some of these ob Obstructions can be removed by careful surgery. This obstruction that have to be seen by injecting a liquid which shows clearly on X-rays through the O or mouth of the cervix and with the X-rays checking to see if this liquid goes into the uterus and comes out through the tubes. This is called a hysterosal and can be done in many doctor's offices or in any hospital X-ray department. This procedure is not painful and requires no anesthesia. Also, while speaking of the ovducts in performing a sterilization, of a woman. The surgeon usually doubly ties each tube with silk thread, then cuts each of these overducts or tubes. This requires the opening of the abdomen. Thus is a major operation and requires several days stay in the hospital. There is another method now being used by some doctors in which a lighted tube instrument was passed into the lower abdomen through a small incision or through the wall of the vagina. And each of these ovducts are located and clamped with special long instruments. This does not require hospitalization. The word uterus means womb or belly in Latin. The uterus is sperm and muscular. Usually described as the size and shape of a small pair. It is about 4 in long. The interior of the uterus is a narrow triangle-shaped cavity surrounded by thick mus walls. The two incoming ovduct canals enter at the top. The lower part of the uterine cavity that forms the narrowest base is called the cervical canal. An intrauterine device commonly called an IUD was placed in this cavity as a means of preventing pregnancy. We will describe this more fully later when we discuss birth control. Cervix means neck in Latin referring to the neck of the uterus. The cervix surrounds the cervical canal and forms the nail lower end of the uterus. About 1/ half of the cervix projects into the vagina and therefore can be examined by the physician almost as easily as he can look into the ear. or nose. Before any pregnancy, the cervix feels like the tip of the nose and after childirth, it feels like the point of the chin. The opening of the cervix into a pajama is called the cervical o meaning cervical mouth or opening in Latin. This passageway is so narrow that nothing larger than the lead and a pencil could pass through it easily. The normally tight passage helps to keep the interior of the uterus virtually germfree, especially since a constant slight current of cleansing moisture flows outward. Vagina means sheath in Latin. The vagina is a very elastic sheathlike canal that serves as a two-way passage to and from the sheltered organs inside the body. It is about 3 to 5 in long and its inner walls of delicate muscle tissue tend to lie in contact. Her smooth surface draped in foss. The walls of vagina contain many tiny glands that continuously produce a cleansing and lubricating film of moisture. so that the vagina is self-cleansing similar for instance to the eye. In its upper reaches the vagina forms a curving vault that encloses the tip of the cervix. Near the external opening of the vagina there is a concentration of sensory nerves. This opening is encircled by a constrictor muscle that responds to the communications from these sensory nerves. This muscle can be tightened and relaxed at will. Impointed in the constrictor muscle are two grands the size of the letter O are slightly larger, the Bolan glands. These produce a very small amount of additional lubricant mainly on sexual stimulation. The first response to sexual stimulation in a woman is the lubrication of the vagina, which occurs usually within 10 to 30 seconds. Recently, it has been found that this exitation causes the walls of the vagina to be covered with beads of lubricant much as moisture on a cold glass. This is a very practical application in actual insertion of the penis. In intercourse, the husband may need to reach gently into the vagina for some of this lubricant or may and many wives need to apply some form of water soluble artificial lubricant such as Johnson and Johnson's KY jelly obtainable at any drugstore. Only a small amount may be needed just applied to the head of the penis or to the outside of vagina as there is usually enough natural lubrication inside the vagina. Many of you are aware of the advisability of having a pelvic examination every year. itude. Examination of the cervix is probably the most important part of this examination since it is most often affected by disease. You have heard of the packolo cervical smear or papsmear. This is done by taking a small wooden stick much like an ice cream stick and scraping the area at the O or mouth of the cervix. This causes no pain. A sample of material may also be obtained by drawing up some of the secretions lying in the upper part of the vagina or by drawing secret from up inside the uterus itself. These last two methods are more often used in older women to help detect utiline cancer. Immediately after getting a specimen on two brass slides, the physician uses a spray on this wet smear to preserve the cells for later microscopic examination by a medical pathologist to determine if any of the cells show signs of cancer. This process requires about 2 days in the pathologist's office. So, it usually takes about one week for you to get the final report on your test from your doctor. The word vulva means covering in Latin. Vulva is the collective name for the entire group of external genital organs. The himman has been given the name of the mythical god of marriage and is a membrane at the back part of the outside opening of the leg which may be relatively tough or it may even be absent from birth. So its absence is not necessarily an indication of loss of virginity. The opening in the hammon of a virgin is about 1 in in diameter and has to be about 1 and 1/2 in in diameter for a comfortable intercourse. At the time of their first intercourse, 50% of brides say they have some pain, but not enough to complain about. 20% say they have no pain at all. 30% have rather severe pain. A few weeks before marriage, it would be wall for every girl to have a complete physical examination. A thoughtful, interested position can help remove much of her fear of physical pain due to intercourse. If you were to be the bride and your pelvic examination reveals a thick or tight himman. You may prefer to have this tissue stretched, so there will be less obstacles to the first intercourse. The physician may do this or you may wish to manually stretch this yourself or you may ask for specific instructions for your husband to do this after marriage. If you choose to have your husband stretch the hon, it is very important that lubricating jelly be generously applied to the penis and around the vaginal outlet. Then, with whatever intercourse position is chosen preferably so the penis is directed downward and toward the back of the vaginal opening. You should be the one to be the thrusting as you will be able to better control the amount of pressure you can tolerate. It may take several trials to penetrate the himman. If you're not successful after a few trials, do not keep boozing this area and until it is so painful you cannot enjoy your time together. You should just gently and slowly caress each other's genital organs until you are sexually satisfied. With generous amounts of lubricant on his fingers and with fingernails filed short and smooth, the husband can manually dilate the vaginal opening. He must gently insert one finger into the vagina, then two fingers using a gradual, firm, downward pressure toward the anus until there is a definite pain and until both these fingers can be easily inserted all the way to the base of the fingers. If this is too painful, it is usually better to be patient until the next day before again attempting wall lubricated in uction of the penis. Most of the pain is from entering too quickly, not giving the muscles around the vagina sufficient time to relax. If you're not successful after several attempts, you should again consult your physician, and he may sometimes need to make small incisions in the himman at the back and on each side. This is done in the doctor's office using a small amount of local anesthetic. These incisions will heal within a week, as will any other tear in the highman. We feel we should state here that your objectives in your first few weeks of sexual encounter matters are maximum fe feminine comfort and maximum masculine control. Do not be expecting much harmony and sexual intercourse for at least a few weeks. At the time of first intercourse, do not attempt to bring your blide to orgasm with the penis in the vagina as she will have some soreness and there's no reason to make this worse. After the penis is inserted, the husband shall have his orgasm quickly. Then withdraw the penis and proceed to stimulate his bride gently with his fingers. As we we will describe later in this message. When the hyman is stretched or torn, there often is some bleeding, but usually no more than one or two teaspoons. If this bleeding continues, or if there is as much as one tspoon of blood, do not be afraid, but just look carefully for the exact spot that is bleeding and hold a Kleenex on that spot with firm pressure. There is no beleading that cannot be stopped in this way. You may leave the tissue in place about 12 hours and then soak it loose in a warm on bath to avoid new bleeding. You may resume having intercourse the next day. If there's brooding again, just repeat the local pressure. We will now continue our study of anatomy. The urethra was the outlet for the urine from the bladder. The urethral opening is about 1/2 in above the vaginal opening and entirely separate from it. It resembles a rounded dimple containing a tiny slit. The urethra is a tube which runs just beneath the pubic bone and is easily bruised in the first few days after marriage. Unless plenty of lubrication is provided for the penis in the vagina. This bruising produces what is commonly called newlywward cyitis or honeymoon cyitis and is characterized by pain in the bladder area and by bled in the urine and rather severe burning when the urine passes and is a symptom that injury to the urethra has allowed bacteria to grow. This may ascend to produce a severe bladder infection which is called cyitis. This clears up and the pain clears much quicker with medication. described by a physician and by drinking more fluids. Every couple, regardless of any previous sexual experience, should have a surgical lubricant such as KY jelly to use often the first few weeks to help prevent this painful condition caused by bruising. The word cli comes from the Latin word meaning that which is closed in. And its shaft, which is about 1/2 to 1 in long, is closed in by the peak of the labia about 2 in above the entrance to the vagina and the bell of the ur urinary opening or urethra. At its outer end is a small rounded body about the size of a pee. This is called its glands from a Latin word meaning acorn. This has been called the trigger of female desire and is the most keenly sensitive point a woman has for sexual arousal. And as far as we know, this is the only function of the clitoris. Stimulation of the clatterus alone will produce an orgasm in nearly all women. For this reason, Many thought the location of the clitoris on the body so it would come into contact with the penis was the only important thing in achieving orgasm. Many operations have been done to expose the clitoris more. This surgery seldom helps attain orgasm and with our present knowledge this surgery should never be done until the information we are sharing here has been learned thoroughly and imply applied in your relationship. The clottish usually enlarges some when caressed but do not become anxious if it does not. In a of hundreds of women able to reach orgasm. More than half showed no visible enlargement of the clitoris at all. And in many others, this enlargement was only barely discernable even to touch. As most of the enlargement is in diameter, not in length. The size of the crius or its degree of enlargement has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction or sexual capacity. The clus must be stimulated directly or indirectly for the wife to achieve orgasm. There is no difference in actual physical sens. ation from orgasm by cladal stimulation and that from sexual intercourse. When the cladist is first stimulated in full play, very light, gentle and slow caressing of the very end probably will give the most pleasant sensation. In a few seconds, this area may become overly sensitive and even irritated and stroking further back on the shaft may be most pleasurable or perhaps moving of the labial manora or the mons veneer area or even some wise may prefer to be loved and stimulated for a while in some entirely different erotic area such as her breast or even stroking her back or earlobes or a combination of areas. A labia manora from the Latin words for small lips are two pal foss of smooth hairless soft tissue that connect to the hood over the clitoris and end just below the entrance to the vagina. Sexual arousal causes these lips to swell and protrude two or three times their known as thickness. At times the general stroking of these small lips gives a more pleasant sensation than stroking the clitoris. Since these lips are connected directly above the clitoris, when the penis moves in the vagina, there is attraction which carries sensation to the clitoris. Thus, direct stimulation of the clitoris is not always necessary to increase sexual tensions. Each wife will need to specifically and lovingly tell her husband verbally or by subtle signals what type of stimul in this area gives her the most pleasure at any given point in foreplay or in achieving orgasm. The labia majora or the major lips lie outside and parallel to the labia manora that are not nearly so sensitive. The mom's venerys or mount of venus is a small cushion of fat to serve as a shock absorber over the pubic symphysis the brony prominence above the peak of the labial majora. I want to tell you now about a very important part of the female anatomy that many have never given much consideration. This is the muscle group called the pubo coxidigious muscle which we will refer to as the PC muscle. This runs above the legs from front to back from the pubic bone to the lower end of the backbone the coxix. It is like a sling and forms the floor of the pelvis and supports and surrounds the outer one-third of the vagina, the neck of the bladder and part of the rectum. In the early 1940s, Dr. Donald H. Kegel, a surgeon and professor of gynecology at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, discovered that women who had trouble controlling their urine flow, this is called stress incontinence, could usually be helped by exercising this PC muscle. And he gradually developed a way to exercise and strengthen this muscle. And the method is now called the Kuggle exercises. Further studies reveal that less than one in three women of adequate PC muscle tone. Women volunteer the information to Dr. Kgle that after these exercises they had an increased sexual satisfaction and many achieved orgasm for the first time in their life. This improvement is explained by the fact that these muscles are well supplied with propioceptive nerve endings which respond to pressure movement and stretching but not to like touch. Aside from the sexual benefit of the kegle exercises, there is a great reduction in the mother's trial birth injuries and a much shorter and less painful time in labor. This is one of the exercises considered essential but are proponents of natural child birth. These PC muscle exercises are safe, simple, and not tiring. If you become tired while doing the exercises, this is one indication that you're not contracting the right muscles. Lowing PC muscle contraction is not difficult with guidance. The PC is an internal muscle and when contracted, the paranium lies. This is the area between the anus and the vaginal opening. If If you so desire, you can use a mirror to observe the rise of the paranium. Or you may place one finger about 1 and 1/2 in inside the vagina and feel the muscle contraction. However, the simplest way to learn to contract the PC muscle and follow the progress of your control is to separate your knees about 2 ft apart while urinating and alternately shut off and start urine flow. With good PC contraction, you should be able to release about 1 teaspoon of urine at a time. If you are completely unable to locate the position and existence of this muscle, you will need to consult your physician in order to learn exactly what muscles are used in the kegle exercises. Start your exercise program with five or 10 contractions before getting out of bed in the morning and whenever you urinate. Hold each contraction for about 2 seconds. Imagine that you are squeezing an object in your vagina as tightly as you possibly can squeeze and lifting your tightening the vagina upward as much as possible. This will also result in lifting the rectum. Many anatomy books call the PC muscles the levator ani muscles because they do elevate the anus. How much exercise is needed? About 10 contractions in a row at six intervals during the day. Then step up the program to the point of doing about 300 contractions a day for at least 6 weeks or possibly 10 weeks. Further exercises are sometimes unnecessary. Once control has been well learned and the muscle is actually thickened and become strong. How do you know you have good PC muscle control? You should be able to bring your husband to orgasm by contraction of this muscle alone with no other movement of your body when you're in the woman above position. This muscle should be able to grip the penis as tightly as a clenched fist. Almost every woman can significantly heighten her sexual adequacy through understanding the kegle exercises which are used to condition strengthen and achieve voluntary control of these muscles surrounding and helping support the vagina and neck of the bladder. And some men have found more intense physical sensation also in their orgasm after they have strengthened their own PC muscles in this same way. You ladies are to use this new contracting ability in intercourse. Always begin with a slow gentle entrance of the penis. followed by no motion except for the contraction of the life's PC muscle. Squeeze firmly and slowly at first. Sometimes a few contractions before introduction of the penis will help set the stage for greater enjoyment and the skillful controlled use of the PC muscle may sometimes give the husband a much more satisfying orgasm. Building of sexual tension or excitement after actual introduction of the penis is an ability that a woman must actively seek and learn. She must put anticipation foremost in her mind, surrender to her own natural drives, and seek emotional and physical stimulation until this tension climaxes in release. Vigorous thrusting as soon as the male organ enters the vagama is almost a guarantee that the rife sensation will be burred and excitement will actually decline. With the penis fully inserted, Both partners may wish to develop some gentle slow motions with writhing side to side movements, rocking motions, and rolly hip movements which help take some of the pressure of the thrust away from the upper end of the vagina and toward the more responsive vaginal walls. The husband should be gentle and try to remain responsive to his wife's movements as these gentle movements will also help the husband for along the time until his orgasm. The art of love is largely a savoring of each phase of the experience, seeking maximum perception of sensation rather than hurrying toward relief. If you would like more detailed information about the role of the PC muscle and the kegle exercises, we would urge you to obtain the book, The Act of Marriage by Dr. Tim Laay. This is published by Zanderan in the fall of 1975. We must now examine the anatomy of the male sex organs. For understanding of this, you must refer to the drawings that you have before you. The male sexual parts are the penis with its various glands and tissues, the bag or scumm, and the ducts which lead from the testicles in the scrotum to the penis. The testicles are also called the gonads or sex glands. The most obvious fact about the penis is that it can be distended with blood under metal or physical stimulus. So it becomes stiff or erect. The penis is made up of three columns of spongy erectile tissue. The middle one containing the urethra. The head or end of the penis called the glands. has a special quality of being extremely sensitive. It contains nearmost nerve endings which come into play during sexual contact and have a great part in the orgasm or climax. The glands is ordinarily covered by a fold of skin called a prepus or foreskin. Because the foreskin requires special care to keep it clean and to prevent the accumulation of a fluid called smegma and because it is sometimes too tight and interferes with erection and intercourse. The practice of circumcision shortly after birth is growing in popularity as a hygienic measure. For a long time, some peoples by custom or religion have practiced circumcision, the cutting off of the foreskin to leave the glands exposed. But is interesting to note that this is the only surgical operation mentioned in the Bible and was commanded to be done on the eighth day after birth. This has been found within the last 20 years to be the actual time when the blood clotting factors in the baby and the infection preventing factors are more favorable than in any other time in the baby's life. Although the timing of this operation is not critical today with our modern instruments and ability to control infection. The outside opening of the urethra is called a miatus. The channel itself is lubricated by secretions from glands at the base of the penis to permit the sperm to make their way out. easily and to prevent irritation by acid in the urine. The length of the non-stimulated penis varies greatly, but the length of the erect penis is almost always between 6 and 7 in long and smaller or larger ones are not infrequent. The crown or rim of the glands becomes harder than the tip during erection and helps arouse excitement. and the female during friction. Circumcision also permits this rim to stand out more from the adjacent tissue of the penis. The testicles are normally carried in the scrotum or bag. A double sack divided by a membrane. The testicle or testice is about the size and shape of the nut-like female ovary an inch and a half by an inch by 1/2 in. It remains structure is a mass of long tubes in which the male reproductive cells called spermalazora or sperm cells are produced. The sperm moved off into another network of tubes covering the side of the testicle. This is called epidmus and then they're carried off in a long tube the vase devs which takes a roundabout course through the inside of the pelvis about 18 in in all. In performing a vasectomy for sterilization of the husband, a 1- in section of each dresd devron is removed. This surgery can usually be done under a local anesthetic in your doctor's office and you should be able to return to your regular job within 2 days. This operation will not in any way affect your sex life. It just stops the sperm from going into the penis. To really understand these things, you will need to closely examine the drawings as we move along. Now, the vast from each testicle broadens out into a seed reservoir or ampula just before it enters the penis. Opening off these reservoirs are the seinal vesicles, large pouches, one on each side of the base of the penis, which fill the seed and act both as a stool room and as a reminder of the need for sexual relief. While in the store room. The sperm cells are joined by a lubricating secretion that helps them do their next job, swimming. Other similar secretions are added to make up the final seinal fluid as the seb takes the next step in their journey. During the sexual climax, the ejaculation, the fluid is forced from the store room through small tubes that meet in the ejaculatory duct just before entering the base of the penis. The muscular contraction that take place at the base of the penis force the siminal fluid past the prostate gland where it picks up more secretions then through the urethral canal and out the miatus. This fluid will be projected forcefully for a distance of 12 to 24 in. The prostate gland itself contracts and aids in the ejaculation. This important gland is shaped like a large walnut. It is located between the urinary bladder and the base of the penis surrounding the passage from the bladder. In the prostate area are the nerve centers which regulate the flow of blood to the penis and erection. The prostate may become enlarged and block the flow of urine in an older man and he may have to have a prostatctomy that is he may have to have the prostate removed. After this operation the semen at the time of ejaculation goes into the bladder and is not done to the outside at all. This does not change the physical sensation of orgasm that special instructions may need to be followed if his wife wishes to become pregnant. Entering the urinary canal just past the prostate are the two openings of glands which secrete mucus to lubricate the canal for easy movement of the single during ejaculation. Some of the lubricating fluid may escape from the penis during the erection before climax or orgasm. This fluid along with the secretion from the female vagina will help permit easier entry of the penis into the vagina. This oozing during excitement is natural and beneficial. Though some sperm cells are carried along, the oozing does not mean that semen is being lost. Nor is it a sign of sexual weakness or veneer disease. It is generally agreed that in a half teaspoon of semen ejaculated during a normal sexual contact after a three or four day abstinence, There should be about 250 to 500 million sperm cells. An estimated count of fewer than 60 million per cubic centimeter is considered by some as inadequate and a possible cause of infotal marriage, requiring special procedures to make the best use of the sperm that are produced. Some recent work has indicated that conception is possible with as little as 20 million sperm per cubic centimeter. The semen is primarily protein similar to egg white and is not dirty or sanitary, though it has a quite distinctive odor. A wife need not remove this material by douching unless she wishes. A good way of summarizing the female and the male sexual parts is to remember that the different organs in the two sexes develop out of the same basic structures. The most obvious of these originally similar or homolous structures are the clitoris and the penis. The clatterus repeats reduced and modified the chief elements of the mop penis, including the spongy tissues that engorg with blood and the glands at the tip with its numerous nerve endings and great sensitivity. The muscles at the base of the penis are repeated in the PC muscles surrounding the vagina. The outer lips are the counterpart of the male scrotum. In a slight degree, the meeting of the outer folds of the inner lips over the clitoris respond to the foreskin over the glands of the penis. It is clear that the sexual organs, both male and female, have other functions besides a propagation of the race. Even before the human being is fully mature and able to reproduce, the sexual glands, the ovaries in the female and the testes in the male, have begun their work of making the girl a woman and the boy a man. They manufacture some of the hormones which encourage and control the rate of physical development and mental and psychological growth as well. Now, as we begin a study of the actual processes involved in sexual response, I hope that you will appreciate the reason for this technical detailed study of the anatomy of the sex organs. As you listen, I ask you to keep in mind that you are having a private discussion with your position. And let me again state that my purpose in this message is to provide factual information which will lead to your understanding, skill, confidence, and well-being in the sex relationship in marriage. Sexual intercourse will always be a joyful affirmation of two people's common life or a revelation of the defects and will either draw people together or push them apart. Before we begin our examination of the phases of sexual response, I wish to emphas iz that the wife views the sex act as a part of the total relationship with her husband. This means that every meaningful fully enjoyable sex act will begin with a loving attentive attitude which may begin hours or even days before. This requires both partners to assume the responsibility for giving of their total self physically, emotionally and spiritually so that the sex act becomes a dynamic technique to fully express love one for the other. Before any sexual union, it is very important to realize that there is ample soap in the world for bathing. There is a sufficient amount of toothpaste available to both husband and wife. There is no shortage of shaving cream and braids for the husband. And there are nail clippers and nail files for careful smoothing of all fingernails. These are mentioned in a light manner, but cleanliness is a necessity for greatest sexual enjoyment. Dr. Theodore Vanderveldi defines normal sexual intercourse or citus as that intercourse which takes place between two sexually mature individuals of opposite sexes which excludes cruelty excludes the use of artificial means for producing voluuptuous sensations which aims directly or indirectly at the consummation of sexual satisfaction and which having achieved a certain degree of stimulation concludes with the emission or ejaculation of a semen into the vagina at the nearly simultaneous culmination of sensation or orgasm of both partners. There is however no real superiority in simultaneous orgasm. This is an individual thing and not something you need to strive for as there is also a unique joy in giving all the skill you have to pleasing your partner without regard to when either of you will reach an orgasm. We will now describe in detail the sexual response in intercourse are koitus. The sexual response to effective stimulation for a man and a woman is actually very similar in duration in intensity in overall pattern bodily or muscular responses and in physical sensations. But there may be a different intensity or timing for any two specific individuals. The sexual response cycle may be divided into four phases. One, the excitement phase. This is sometimes called the foref. Two, the plateau phase. Three, the orgasmic phase or orgasm, which is frequently called climax or sexual release. And four, the resolution or recovery phase. We will describe the husband's response first. The very first sign of sexual puzzle in men is erection of the penis and this occurs within a few seconds after being triggered by direct stimulation or by stimulating sight or by an erotic train of thought. Again my may I say the length of the non-stimulated penis varies greatly but the erect penis is almost always between 6 and 7 in long. The size of the penis has nothing to do with how much either partner enjoys intercourse as only the outer 2 in of the vagina contain tissue which is stimulated by pressure on the inside. Many men think deep penetration of the penis gives their wife greater stimulation when it is actually the better contact with the clitoris by the base of the penis that increases or may increase her stimulation at the time of her climax. The penis becomes erect primarily by filling with blood in parallel tubes with two on each side. and the third one on the underside of the shaft. And this one contains the urethra which is the passage that carries both sexual secretions and urine. The most stimulating area to touch is the area along the underside of the shaft and the parts of the head of the penis where it joins the shaft of the penis. The excitement phase is that period of time up to full erection of the penis. If effective stimulation continues, there is progression into the plateau phase, the time when sexual tensions are intensified. If the plateau phase can be prolonged for 10 to 20 minutes or more, there usually is a much more overwhelming orgasm or sexual release, the wife may need to gently fondle the underside of the penis to keep the erection full for this length of time. For the man, the orgasmic phase is limited to a few seconds of involuntary muscle tension and contractions with all sensation centered specifically in the penis, prostate and siminal vesicles. The husband's orgasm is complete when he has expelled the semen. This is expelled under great pressure, and if it were not contained, as we me mentioned before, the semen could shoot as much as 2 ft. The man must usually then wait several minutes to several hours before being able to have another erection. The time interval of this recovery period has nothing to do with so called manliness. The period of relaxation and tension loss following orgasm is called the resolution phase. If effective stimulus is decreased or if there is a decreased motivation, the man will not have an orgasm and he will drop slowly from the plateau phase to an unusually prolonged resolution phase. If there are repeated episodes of failure to achieve orgasm, especially following prolonged plateau phases, there may is some injury to the prostate gland which may lead to a condition known as prostatitis. This requires prescription medication and weekly prosthetic massage by a physician placing his index finger into the rectum and applying firm pressure to the usually swollen and tender prostate gland. This treatment may be required for 3 to 8 weeks. Most men with prostatitis are glad to hear that increased frequency of sexual intercourse is a distinct help in speeding recovery and prevention of further trouble. However, some husbands have told us their wife never did believe that they were given this as a part of their medical prescription. Now, let's describe the wife's response. The very first sign of sexual arousal in the female is the moistening of the vagina with a slippery, thin, transparent, lubricating fluid. This usually occurs after 10 to 30 seconds of stimulation. Unfortunately, many men think copious lubrication is the signal the wife is ready for intercourse when really she is just beginning the excitement phase. This first phase, the excitement phase, is also called the foreplay period. Sad to say, many couples are not aware of their great need for foreplay. In foreplay, there is really no system to know, only another person to know. Never let foreplay be just a mechanical thing. In sexual stimulation, what is one woman's arousal may be another's boredom. This is what makes the love relationship so private a matter between those who can express their affection in ways which are meaningful to the other. There are certain areas of the body which are most important in sexual stimulation and I will list these in order of sensitivity to stimulation. The clolus, labia manora, mon venuris inner thighs, the nipples of the breasts, and other less specific areas over the wife's body which she will need to identify for her own husband. One of the most common sources of sexual maladjustments is the failure of women to tell their husbands frankly, clearly, and precisely what stimulates them. The vast majority of women are stimulated not merely by receiving affection, but also by giving it. So each woman should take full part in foreplay by stimulating her husband during the excitement and plateau phases by gently stroking the underside of the penis or the inner thighs, escrotum or wherever her husband directs. Following the excitement phase, there's a gradual and not well-defined change to the plateau phase. There are number of changes which may be observed before a woman is fully aroused and ready for orgasm. Some of these changes are swelling of the clitoris and erection of the nipples of her breasts. Then late in the excitement phase, the entire breast swells as much as 25%. Then there's swelling of the aila, the darker areas of skin around the nipples. Also, the labia majora outer lips at the entrance to the vagina begin to open outward a bit and may also become two or three times enlarged. The labia minora or inner lips also swell markedly. The inner two/3s of the upper vagina vagina opens and the cervix and uterus is elevated, making the vagina much more open and up to 2 or 3 in longer to receive the penis. Other responses may be tensing of muscle, increased pulse rate, and general sex flush of many areas of skin, especially starting on the upper abdomen and covering the chest. This rash is sometimes as prominent as a measles rash. There may be almost spastic contra ctions of some sets of muscles in the face, chest, abdomen, and buttocks. Some voluntary tightening of the sphincter muscle, which holds the anus closed, and some voluntary contractions of muscles of the buttocks may help heighten tension. The most dramatic change in the woman during the plateau phase is the engorgment and swelling of the outer 1/3 of the vagina. As a result of this swelling, the diameter here may be reduced as much as 50%. This prepares the vagina to actually grip the penis. Each woman may follow a little different pattern and one or more of these changes may or may not occur. But are things to look for before introduction of the penis into the vagina. Regardless of any or all signs mentioned, the most important single thing to determine when to begin this actual sexual union is when the wife says to begin. There will be a few wives who may desire prenal insertion. ly in the excitement phase to achieve quicker vaginal stimulation. Many frustrations at this point could be easily solved by opening real verbal communication lines by telling her husband exactly when she is ready for insertion of the penis. Sometimes even after the entrance of the penis, the man may need to continue to caress the clitoris as the change from the plateau phase to orgasm is a period usually needing a progressive and continuing time of intensified love. play the labia minora or inner lips change color from bright red to a deep wine color or from pink to bright red. This color change is an important indication that orgasm will occur within 60 to 90 seconds if effective stimulation continues. The major observable feature of the female orgasm is a series of rhythmic contractions of the muscles of this outer one called the pubocious our PC muscle group. The first few contractions occur at intervals of 4 fths of a second. Then intervals become longer and intensity tapers off. A mild orgasm usually gives 3 to five of these contractions. And an intense orgasm may give 8 to 12. In both husband and wife, changes in other parts of the body include various muscle responses which may cause facial grimace, tightening, even spasms of the muscles of the neck, arms, legs, hands, and and feet. The muscles of the abdomen and buttocks also contract. Often the husband or wife grasps the partner firmly during orgasm. Men and women are usually quite unaware of their own extreme muscular exertions during orgasm. But it is not uncommon the next day to notice muscular aches, particularly in the back and thighs. The first notable occurrence in women during the resolution phase that follows orgasm is the immediate return to normal of the aula surrounding the nipples of of the breast. This may give the appearance of a nipple itself enlarging. Other signs are seen in about this order. Disappearance of the sex blush, appearance of fine perspillation, especially on the hands and feet, and the clatterus promptly decreases in size. The wife does not necessarily have a waiting period. If she desires, with stimulation, she may be able to promptly reach a second orgasm or even a series of up to 10 or 12 orgasms before entering the resolution phase. and counseling conferences on sexual adjustments. Some couples ask, "What do you do when intercourse is finished?" During the remainder of the resolution phase, it is desirable that the husband continue to tenderly show love to his wife by hugs, kisses, and love pets, and continue to make her aware of his appreciation for her as they lie close in each other's arms and just enjoy each other's presence. This makes for a much smoother transition to complete relaxation. together. It may be as long as 30 minutes before all the physical signs of arousal are gone. At this point, I would like to mention the need for privacy. There are some wives who are better able to completely abandon themselves to their maximum expression of enjoyment by having sexual intercourse in a bedroom with very little or no light. The husband is greatly stimulated by seeing his wife's body and watching her body responses. They may sometimes be inhibiting to her wife. to feel she has a spectator to her every movement and expression of the light. For this reason, I would encourage you to vary your settings between darkness and light. Each of you in considering buying or building a home should pay close attention to having your bedroom and bath totally isolated as much as possible and soundproof from other occupied rooms. Every master bedroom must have a good lock control from the inside as many couples need assured security from any invasion. to allow their full concentration for maximum enjoyment. Also, no couple under any circumstances should allow any aged child to sleep in the room with them except perhaps a new baby for the first 6 months or less. Every small child should be trained to never disturb mother and daddy night or day when their bedroom door is locked. While I am speaking of privacy, let me admonish you to never discuss your sex pleasures or s with your friends or family and do not joke about any of these private matters. I hope you're listening carefully and with concern for your partner's needs without a feeling of prejudice or any sense of guilt for past experiences. This is not sex education. This is love education or education and love. Remember, God always has a perfect plan for our life which starts right where we are at any particular time. No matter how we may previously messed it up or allowed someone else to mess it up. I would like to deal now for a few moments with the subject of masturbation or self stimulation. We must state here that the actual orgasm gives the same intensity of physical sensation whether it is reached by masturbation which is just soft stimulation of your own genital organs or by stimulation by your husband or wife or by actual sexual intercourse who will not deal with masturbation. before marriage. But masturbation cannot be considered adultery or fornication as long as the stimulating image is that of your mate. Let's remember adultery involves someone who is not your mate. Fornication involves an unmarried man and woman and homosexuality involves two people of the same sex. So we are not discussing homosexuality here. In situations of prolonged absence or other times such as severe illness when there is no way for one mate to stimulate the other. I can at this time see no harm in occasional self- stimulation, although the husband's sexual tensions may be released during sleep in what is called wet dreams. I would like to emphatically issue a warning against the use of artificial means of producing stimulation. Electric vibrators applied to the genital area can give strong sexual stimulation, but many people have found that when they wish they had normal intercourse, they're then unable to gain satisfaction. There will be some times in marriage when a couple cannot have sexual intercourse and yet do the both have normal sexual needs. During these times, they can practice a type of sexual experience in which they do not have intercourse and do not use a vaginal passage. You can bring each other to orgasm through love play and direct stimulation and this is called sexual interstimulation. We would urge you if you are a pregnant wife to very considerately fondle and stimulate your husband once or twice a week during the time before the baby is born and also after the baby is born. Demonstrate to your husband that you are longing to meet his needs, whether or not you desire any stimulation, and give him the opportunities to suggest that you not proceed if he does not desire your attention. In this situation, you're not being overly aggressive. You're just demonstrating consideration for his needs because it should not be necessary for your husband to have to request this stimulation from you. Unless you are having pain, bleeding, cramping, or some abnormal condition of pregnancy, or if your doctor has advised you otherwise, there's no reason why you could not receive stimulation right up to the time of labor. There are some wives who really feel no need or desire for sex in the last one or two months before delivery, but this should never be a reason for decreased consideration and love for one another. Each wife should also consider offering sexual heteros stimulation during the times of any mistral period lasting more than five or 6 days. Anything is permissible in foreplay as wrong as it is now offensive to either one and affords mutual pleasure and stimulation and is definitely desired by both partners. There is no part of the body which is improper to caress with the hand, with the lips or with the talent. If both Both of you desire this particular activity and if thy careful pre-plining the genital areas are very very clean. The glean's penis or the clius is the area most sensuously stimulated. This is called all genital sex and some couples derive pleasure from this while others are completely indifferent to it and some of course find it very disagreeable to even think about. Who mentioned this form of sexual play as some of you who are already engaging in this may feel an unwarranted guilt about it. There is no wrongness in sex and marriage as long as you do not offend each other or give a sense of discomfort to each other in any way. If in any type sexual foreplay the husband has an orgasm, he should continue to stimulate his wife in a pleasing and satisfying way until she also reaches orgasm.
As a family physician who is very much interested in my patients having a really stable and enjoyable life as husband and wife. I have used the failing methods to have my patients with satur problems who will now deal with the most common and easily solved saturary problems. Premature ejaculation was defined as the husband's inability to control ejaculation for sufficient length of time during intravaginal containment to satisfy his wife in at least 50% of their times of sexual intercourse or it may be defined as the condition wherein the husband arrives at ejaculation before he wishes to do so. Many of you have never been faced with the problem of premature ejaculation and cannot possibly realize its importance. It is the male's most common sexual dysfunction and many couples sexual problems are related to this. The main difficulty with premature ejaculation is that it does not give full sexual satisfaction. ction to the wife. When this problem persists, the pattern of this marriage is somewhat predictable. The wife's attitude tends to be that she is being inconsiderably used and that her husband is only concerned with his own pleasure and has no real appreciation of her sexual needs, and she was left with no means of release. And there is an increasing level of resentment at being used sexually rather than loved sexually. In the usual course of events, after a period of years, years. Husband and wife both withdraw from some of the commitment of marriage. The man doubting his masculinity and the wife losing confidence in herself as a woman. As the man becomes more and more anxious about his failure to satisfy his wife, he may even lose his ability to maintain an election. This is called impotence. A quiet but hostile marriage without sex may endure, but many end in divorce. Researchers have found that many These men are selfish and do not consider themselves inadequate lovers, but blame their wives for not being sexy enough. For a very detailed study of the exact procedures to follow to resolve the problem of premature ejaculation, we suggest that you read chapter six of the book that my wife gay and I have written entitled intended for pleasure. This is published by LL in February 1977. Our fully illustrated book gives a greatly expanded explanation of all aspects of the sexual relationship in marriage. Right now we will discuss with you in great detail the techniques which we use in our sex counseling. These techniques have been adapted from our study with masters and Johnson in St. Louis. Step one, willing to admit he has this problem. Step two, realize that any sexual inadequacy is a problem of mutual involvement or both. marriage partners. And with the wife's full cooperation and willingness to learn and apply certain basic principles, and with warm personal involvement expressed openly to her mate, the elimination of this crippling marital problem can be assured. Step three, enter the actual training session together. With the wife sitting with her back placed comfortably against the headboard of the bed, her legs spread. The husband lies on his back facing her. positioning his pelvis between her legs with his feet placed on the mattress on the outside of her thighs near her buttocks with the genitals close to those of his wife. The wife now lovingly and gently caresses the man's genitals especially the head of the penis or wherever her husband directs her to encourage him to attain an erection. As soon as he achieves oral erection, the wife employs a maneuver which we will call the squeeze. technique. She places her thumb on the frenulum, the underside of the penis, just where the shaft ends and the head begins. She then places the first two fingers of that hand on the opposite side of the penis. One finger on each side of the ridge, which distinguishes the head from the shaft of the penis. She then squeezes her thumb and first two fingers together with a quite hard pressure lasting at least three or 4 seconds on the erect. penis. This hard pressure causes no pain. This pressure makes the husband lose his urge to ejaculate and may also cause him to lose some of his erection. After 15 to 30 seconds, she manipulates into full erection again and repeats the squeeze. Do this over and over for 15 to 20 minutes of continuous sex play with no ejaculation. Step four. After running some control, a husband lies on his back. And the wife uses the squeeze technique two or three times. Then she straddles him and leaning forward about 45 degrees, she very gently and slowly inserts the penis into the vagina. She remains motionless, giving her husband a chance to achieve control. If he feels he's going to ejaculate, she merely raises her body and repeats the squeeze procedure, then gently reinserts the penis. After For a few days practice in this position using the squeeze technique, the husband is to thrust just enough to maintain his election until they can stay in this position for 15 or 20 minutes before ejaculation. Step five. After control increases, the couple is encouraged to learn to move from this female superior position to the latter coital position in which each partner is lying on their side. She leans forward to lie against his chest. as she extends her right leg behind her while he bends his left knee, keeping it under her leg and foot against the bed. This position leaves both partners with the greatest freedom and comfort as well as the best ejaculatory control. It has been found that these couples by choice then use this position about 75% of the times they have intercourse. The male superior position is the most difficult in which to maintain. Ejaculatory control. Step six, you should use the squeeze technique at least once a week for the next 6 months and practice it for about 20 minutes at some time during each of the wife's menstrual periods. Good ejaculatory control is usually attained in 6 to 12 months. This should enable any husband to allow the penis to remain in the vagina more than 5 to 10 minutes without orgas. orgasm and complete control at when he does not have orgasm at all until he chooses to. While the couple is learning these steps, it may be necessary for him to use manual stimulation or other agreeable means to give his wife sexual fulfillment. The husband's gain of complete ejaculatory control is an effort of self-sacrifice and love, just as the wife's attaining full tone of the PC muscle is an act of love. Both have something to learn. We must add here that there often is temporary impetence after the premature ejaculation problem is solved primarily due to increased frequency of the sex act. The researchers tell us that the squeeze technique is never effective if done by the husband or himself. The wife must be involved. Now we will deal with the most common sexual problem in women. Vigidity is defined as the wife's indifference or taste for sexual intercourse or the inability to initiate or enjoy sexual arousal. This can either be partial or complete. Only about 50% of married women today are achieving true orgasm and intercourse in the first year of marriage. Many researchers have found this to be less than 30%. And by the 10th year of marriage, no more than 60% with any degree of regularity. And researchers today know that less than 40% of married couples really consistently enjoy maximum fulfillment and sexual release in intercourse. The lack of orgasm or the very infrequent achievement of orgasm is by far the most common sexual problem in women. Sexual response is the sum of a bewildering array of physical, emotional, and circumstantial factors. And by the time a couple is aware of a need for help, the failure to achieve response has added a complex overlay of fear, anger, doubt, and misunderstanding. Most of us tend to give up easily that which does not satisfy us or that which stirs up feelings of frustration, self-doubt, and inadequacy. When these feelings come from our previous sincere attempts to express love to our mate, the wound is often very deep, and we begin to feel a sense of failure in the very area in which we most want to succeed. There There's no such person as a cold woman or a cold man. Any husband or any wife with a genuine love which desires unselfishly the greatest good for the other partner is basically warm and loving. But the ability to express and receive this warmth physically may be blocked by memories of previous failures coupled with a lack of sexual knowledge. The psychological cause for fragility can never be exactly pinpointed and The only purpose served by seeking something in your past is to find someone or something on which to place the blame. The immature approach for the Christian couple is to realize that no matter what the cause, God is able to meet your need in any situation. You start right where you are by asking him to raise your level of love and sexual interest for your husband. And both of you should enter into a mutual loving cooperation and following some simple instruction. S I will now address you as if you are a wife with a rather complicated problem of having never at any time reached an orgasm. No matter what you might believe is the cause of your lack of interest in sex, we want to discuss a very effective procedure used to solve this problem. No matter which of you may seem to be the most at fault, both you and your husband will have to get a fresh start. As if you were just now getting married, Each must give the other a chance to perform without demand or criticism. This is not a time to keep score, but a time to practice and learn together without anxiety. A time when you realize both of you have much to learn. You learning to receive and he learning to give unselfishly. The real goal at the beginning of your mutual physical training sessions is to build up memories of pleasurable sexual feelings and When those are combined with some new experiences and a realization of your husband's loving desire to give you sexual pleasure, this will increase the number of signals to the brain, which can build up to an uninhibited sexual response. Be certain that both of you are very clean, and we must insist that your husband have a clean shave and have his fingernails trimmed and smooth. If his hands are even slightly rough, he should use a generous amount of mild hand cream or lotion. to make his caresses more pleasing. The training sessions begin by being in a very private place with no chance for interruption. You should both be as rested and as free as possible from stress and tension. You will both take off all your clothes and your husband is is to use his fingers and his hands to touch, massage, and fondle your body anywhere you lovingly direct him. While you just relax and to come conscious of the pleasure gained from his care and caresses. At first, use a gentle trial and error method, maintaining very comfortable positions in bed, and avoid any thought of hurrying or any feeling of need to satisfy your husband or any seeking for your own orgasm. You should daily, for at least 4 days, repeat these unhurried, relaxed times of receiving your husband's caresses. for whatever period of time it gives you pleasure. For these times, you may wish to actually avoid touching the gentle or breath area. You should now both be learning the details of your sexual anatomy using descriptive drawings as well as your own exploration. You should also be fully aware that you have permission to freely express your pleasure and sexual feelings without regard at this time for your husband's sexual needs. Up until this time, you should not have directed your husband's main attention to your breasts and genital area. But now you must follow very detailed instructions for maximum pleasurable sexual stimulation. Your husband is to place himself in a sitting position with his back comfortably resting against pillows at the headboard of the bed with his legs widely separated. You are to sit between his leg with your back against his chest and your head resting comfortably on his shoulder and your legs spread apart draped over his legs. This position allows freedom of access for creative exploration of your entire body. You should encourage specific direction for this by placing your hand lightly on his hand so you can show by slight increases in pressure or by gentle directional movement the where and how of your desires at any particular moment. This will allow allow you both to learn precise physical communication without the distraction of verbal requests or detailed explanations. At this time, you should direct his every movement and he should absolutely refrain from any of his own ideas as to what may be stimulating to you. Most men will feel that they should now stroke the end of your clitoris, but this has been found to usually be too sensitive and tender an area. You will probably achieve much more pressure by well lubricated stimulation along the shaft or sides of the clitoris. and around the vaginal opening. Almost never is there a pleasure introduction of fingers deep into the vagina. Often you will want him to just lightly stroke your breasts. Then your upper inner thighs and the area just above the clitoris area or around the vaginal opening and alternating touching these areas. There is no hurry. You should not at this point be attempting to force yourself to reach an orgasm. This is a time which may extend over a period of several weeks. When both you and your husband are lovingly learning exactly what it is that excites you sexually and learning to communicate with each other physically and verbally. If at any time you feel that you're highly aroused sexually, you should try to continue increasing the intensity of the stimulation with his hand or your hand until you experience an intensely exciting sensation centered primarily in your pelvis which is known as an orgasm. This is explained in in more detail earlier in this message and the part dealing with the phases of sexual response. There is absolutely no reason for you not to realize you should feel complete freedom to stimulate your own clitoris area if needed to produce your first few orgasms. This will help start a pattern of response which will make it much easier to experience orgasm and sexual intercourse. After you have had several orgasms by manual stimulation, you should start having sexual intercourse. force in the female above position. Then use whatever positions you desire. We must continue this study of fragidity on the second cassette in this series. This is the end of the first cassette of a two cassette series on sex problems and sex technique in marriage. This message is by a family physician, Dr. ID Wheat, who appreciates your interest and study of this interesting subject by cassette.
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