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Laughing at Daily Lives Struggles
Caroline Rushe (00:00)
Welcome to my crazy life Caroline's podcast Thanks for tuning in to everyone listening Last week's podcast went nuts I was just it was just such a different side of me a raw side of me that I've been shown before But you know, it's good to talk about these things because people don't talk about them enough
even I remember when we used to be in the IVF clinic, nobody would talk in the appointment room before you'd go in the waiting room. And yeah, it was so good. I got so many messages from people that were in the same boat or worse and the stories were just unbelievable. Thanks to everybody who reached out to me. Yeah, it's such a, we kind of, it's a silence we have.
over infertility which is so wrong same with miscarriage people don't talk about miscarriage enough and i think that stems from you know our own mothers they kind of were very prideful with stuff and it was just swept under that big huge rug and the rug got higher and higher and higher so this is sunday my show is six days away oh god
it's been crazy and yeah I just love it every minute for it to be honest and more to come so this week's podcast is all about my the agony and side I'm going to be in agony and for a week don't know if I'll do this for one week or 10 weeks lads who knows where it's going to go did I think me above my bedroom with my microphone
would go to number 18 in the charts the podcast charts never so you know I was 188 last week see so you just have to keep going with podcasts you'll have good bad and that's just the way it is but I am so grateful for anyone that listens to me and yeah so I actually have an email in so let's have a read obviously if you
I have an email crazyeggnyend at gmail .com so if you want to email me obviously it's completely anonymous so like I won't be calling out your name or anything like that like I'm not that crazy lads but I've been around the block a lot I've been through a lot of crap that I haven't even spoken about yet and you know I'm 43 so I'm a bit older am I wiser? who knows so welcome
To crazy agony end I definitely need a jingle. If anyone out there knows someone that can do a jingle for me will you tell me because I don't have a jingle, I don't have a sponsor but that just proves at Leads that you can do anything you put your mind you know I shouldn't work, it shouldn't happen like I don't have a studio, I don't have a sponsor, I don't have a jingle but still people are tuning.
So, let's get on with it Caroline. Okay. So I'm gonna read out the email. So hello, my name is Bub. I'm 44 years of age. I'm married 10 years. We have three kids. My life should be amazing, but I'm struggling with moods. I'm very short fused with kids. In the last year I've gained so much weight. I crave sugar, but it doesn't fix anything. My sleep is terrible. My periods are all over the shop.
I feel like I'm losing myself.
My husband doesn't understand all he wants is sex. My sex drive has dropped so much. I would be OK never having it again. He says everyone is having it twice a week. Please help me. I'm getting emotional because like as a woman 43 I can relate to an awful lot of what she's saying. You know and this is it like it's all this all your life. Usually your life should be amazing. You're married you have three kids. You know you have a husband she should be.
skipping around the place, but she's not and that's okay. It's okay not to be okay. And someone saying, oh, you're grand. Oh, cheer up a bit. That's not going to work. That's not going to fix it. Like from what she's saying here is I say like, you know, it's probably the start of like menopause, perimenopause, because these are kind of the symptoms that I had, like gain weight. I have as much weight by now this last year. So it definitely, I crave sugar.
it doesn't fix my sleep pattern is well it was terrible it's improved but that's down to medication so what to do so the first thing is is you know communication is so important in marriage and I'm desperate at myself sometimes sitting down to them because unfortunately you know they don't see it they don't see the parachute they're like looking at you going
you know, she's mad like, well we are a bit mad let's put, they're mad too. Like I think sitting down with your husband without children, if you can, and just explaining how you feel and saying, this is how I feel, I feel like I'm losing myself. And it's so, it's such, it's a big thing for women when we hit the 40s that our kids are getting older. We're not as thin as we were.
We don't want to be, you know, doing it as often, but that's okay. All these people that come up and say, oh yeah, I'm having a couple of nights a week. That's to me, that's absolute nonsense. Cause when you get a bit older, you don't. It's your drive drops, especially as a woman. And especially when you go into that kind of peri menopause stage, you don't want to have it as much, not a whole deal. And that's normal.
But this physician has not spoken about it and it's all, oh, they're having it twice a week. They're probably not, it's just all nonsense. And it's very important for people to speak openly about these subjects because it's not fair that we're all hiding in the corner and pretending that this doesn't happen. Of course it happens. Women, our hormones change. Our bodies change so much that we don't, you know, we don't feel like doing it.
our bodies aren't the same, we've had kids so like I understand where she's coming from but communication is key talk to your husband, sit down to him and explain to him okay this is how I feel and I guarantee you if you sit them down and talk to them you know the outcome will be a lot different I figure a lot of relationships doesn't always have to be about sex it can be just about
holding their hand, having a hug, having a kiss, you know, that's something even that much, going that far might be enough for now until you can figure things out. So once I'd have the conversation over with the husband, I would probably then go to my GP. So there's probably a couple of different things like you probably get your bloods done and they'd have to see, you know, where are you in relation to menopause.
you know, is your hormones interrupted? And if they are, then there is a range of things you can go down the route of. And in my show, I'm having a menopause expert and she'd probably be better with this question. But there is HRT you can go on. Then you can go down the route of herbal. There is a lot of herbal remedies out there that you can go on.
I take a herbal remedy myself at the moment for perimenopause because the sweats were ruining my life. I mean, I just couldn't. It was really ruining my life. But yeah, so I take a supplement, a key for her. It's a perimenopause supplement and it's definitely helped me in relation to my mood swings, in relation to being that short fused with the kids. I totally get that. The weight gain.
I suppose it's stuffed with the, I don't crave sugar as much, but the weight gain is still there and so much harder to lose weight. I mean, weight, I mean, once you hit that 40, I don't care what it is, it's very hard to do. That weight you've had for the few years, you know, it doesn't come off unless you go onto the knife ladies. But yeah, and then there's, you know, there's other things like there's reflexology, there's acupuncture. There's a whole host of stuff that you can do to try and help yourself.
both communication is massive I think in any marriage and you know sometimes like there's no I'm on inter presence I have to be because of just past experiences and there's no you know I don't have any problem taking them I've no problem telling people that I'm taking them because they keep me going you know they keep me going and
I went through a stage myself where I was in the bed in the morning and I was saying to myself I didn't want to get up. So I think, you know, it's okay to feel like that but it's about going about it. And I went to my GP, got referred on and got medication to help. Because life is so hectic, like between children and husbands and you know trying to, you know, keep the house and...
clean and cook and hobbies, don't even let me start with the hobbies let's um dropping them here dropping them there money I don't mind if this money for that money life is so much different to when our parents were old uh you know younger there wasn't as much and as well social media you know you didn't know who was married down the road head so but no I'm so happy that she sent that in and
I really hope that I could help in any way with her issues and yeah it's just something that we need to be open to and aware of that you know things kind of change in a marriage after when you get older the kids like you know I have a age -old still inside and a bit between us like and myself my husband two dogs.
You know like it's it's it's quite full the bed But um, you know, eventually he'll leave and you know, that'll be okay He will move out eventually. Please God next to here is like Because it is it is very difficult like to be planning stuff around the child like and But yeah, like it was that or no sleep so what you pick Oh, I won't have to sleep. So he'll be in now it's all night now
I'm just thinking about the bed between us because it'll be a day coming soon lads and I know it well I have a teenager he will not want to spend you know he won't want to be inside that bed anymore even I remember a lot I brought a birthday party there the other day and I was holding his head pulled hand away I was like it broke me I was like you don't want to hold my hand anymore? No, I don't.
So, you know, he's starting to cut the cord, lads. So, you know, that happens. And then you're left, you know, with your husband and you kind of have to figure out where, you know, what happens next. Kids are gone. And that is another stage of marriage. And it's a stage that obviously scares me, scares a lot of people because we're so busy all our lives with kids and homework.
hobbies and dinners and washing and cooking yeah I didn't get enough sleep you didn't get enough sleep I worked too hard you worked too hard you followed that thing and then duh nobody wants you nobody's here they're all moved out and the house is quiet and you're looking across the way and go oh
That could be 30 years since you met him. So you kind of have to restart all that relationship again and kind of figure out where you go from there. But you know, I'm sure when it comes to it, we'll do it and we'll manage it. But you know, hopefully I'll still have a podcast, I'll be speaking about it. I'd love for somebody to email me and say, OK, I'm at that stage and what's it like? Because that's the stage, I suppose, that scares me the most.
when the two of us are here, there's no kids and there's no animals and there's just... but then it's good, I get excited about it too because then I can say, oh it's not good speed. You can kind of do things off the cook rather than always planning around school holidays and planning around hobbies and June asserts and the whole lot. We have June assert in our house now in... when is it? I should know let's...
June, in June, we have the June assert. So yeah, he's studying that.
That's another podcast, isn't it? This one has been a bit short, but hopefully next week I will get a few more emails in and let's talk about some real stuff lads. Let's talk about real life crap because you know that's the thing that we all have in common. Real life stuff, real life, you know, problems like that woman sent in to me there. That's a real life issue and I guarantee you any woman.
that's married over 40s has probably gone through the exact same thing as that woman. I mean there's no shame in it. It was always a struggle. I mean every part of that I can relate to and that's what we need to be more relatable. You know that's why I set up my social media at the start to be more relatable not to be someone that is kind of up in this pedestal. No and the same is yourselves. I cook the dinner, clean the house badly at every one of them but you know what they're fed, they're washed.
house is okay. My wardrobe is absolutely atrocious you cannot even get in the door but you know that's okay. Do you know the rest of the rooms are grand so just don't come into the wardrobe like you know. One of these days lads I'll get a figurine and I'll be like yeah let's do it. Right and that's it for crazy this week.
Hopefully I'll get a few more emails or I could go off on another tangent lads. Who knows where this podcast is gonna bring me? I don't know. Did I think it would go up that high in the charts? Never in a million years. And I have a lot of other stuff to talk about in relation to my life and my past life. But you know, let's take it day by day Caroline. Bye bye.